If someone paid me $2500, I'd say Bill Clinton
is a stupid crook and a disaster for America.
Rush gets paid that amount multiplied by 10,000.
No wonder he says the craziest shit.
Rush's show, May 21
Caller: Rush, I'm no fan of yours but I wouldn't mind
if my kids read your books.
Rush: I promised I won't argue with you, but could you
give me an example of an issue we disagree on?
Caller: No, I'd rather not. That's not why I called.
Rush: Please? Please? I'll be nice. I promise
I won't argue with you. Just give me one example.
Caller: OK, I'll give you two.
You can be really arrogant and you talk down to women.
Rush: You lying whore. I do not.
Mark Helprin, the newest guy to tell Dole what to say
says they met when Dole caught him stealing M&M's
from a trendy Washington restaurant.
Republicans say women who need partial-birth abortions
should just go ahead and die.
...and the mystery of the GOP gender gap DEEPENS.....
Phil Gramm has no respect for Bob Dole.
Gramm told a group in Ft Worth he was late for his
speech because he had a "Bob Dole watch."
The audience exchanged puzzled glances until Gramm
explained "One of the hands doesn't work very well."
Phil Gramm is no friend of Bob Dole.
>From Meet the Press, May 19
Tim Russert ran some film of Dole from 1976,
when he was running for VP with Gerald Ford.
Jack Germond: Are you going to resign your
Senate seat to run for Vice President?
Dole: Do I look that stupid?
Rush's show May 22
"I have a cast-iron gut. I will keep you people
informed of my diarrhea and gastro-intestinal disorders."
Please, Rush. Your show's on during lunch.
>From the new Time Magazine:
Page 22: Dole was "weeping like a woman" after
Senator Mack of Florida said goodbye to Dole.
Page 23: Elizabitch Dole conforted a crying Bob Dole
after he admitted he had to leave the Senate because
"Tom Daschle keeps tying tin cans to my tail."
Page 26: Dole "wept uncontrollably" while addressing
twenty members of his staff.Page 27: Dole cried on front of an
audience of 500
while repeating his "what I did for love" speech.
Page 28: Dole "crying aloud" after reading the latest
NY Times/CNN poll numbers.
(This will work better if
you know who Dr. Laura is.)
"I'm Dr. Laura and up next is....Bob. Hi, Bob!"
Bob: Hi, Dr. Laura
DL: So, what's up?
Bob: Well, I'm at a crossroads in my life and I need help
with a big decision. I'm looking at a new job that
will mean more time away from my family than my
current job. You see, my first wife...
DL: Hold on. You voice is very familiar.
Have you called this show before?
Bob: No.
DL: How old are you?
Bob: 73
DL: How old is your wife?
Bob: 55
DL: Any kids?
Bob: One daughter
DL: How old is she?
Bob: I'm not sure 38... maybe 40....
DL: You don't know how old your daughter is?
You sound like a great dad.
Bob: Thank You
DL: I was being sarcastic.
How did your first marriage break up?
Bob: You know how it is.
DL: I don't read minds. I DON'T know how it is.
Bob: This little lady came along and caught my eye
... it was those short skirts she used to wear,
you know the ones with the slit up the side...
DL: You found a younger woman, you mean.
You sound like a real winner.
Bob: Thank you.
DL: I was being sarcastic, again.
So you dumped your wife and kid?
Bob: Well, I feel that my view is that....
DL: Whoa, slow down. We speak English on this show.
Jeez, you sound like a politician.
Bob: She dumped me when she found out about Liddy,
I..I..I mean the girl with the slit skirts
DL: You sound like a professional man.
What do you do for a living, Bob?
Bob: Uh.. Uh.... I have a law degree.
DL: Oh, perfect! So you're going to law school while your
wife works to pay bills. She gives you a daughter
and you dump her like yesterday's trash?
Bob: Stop lying about my record!
DL: I admire your first wife. At least your daughter
had ONE role model to look up to.
You have a wife and daughter and you're out screwing
every girl with her legs in the air?
Perfect! I see your problem.
It's called being a "Me-monkey."
So then what. You shacked up with her?
Bob: I MARRIED her.
DL: Do you cheat on her, too?
Bob: Am I under oath?
DL: Nevermind. So how did your daughter turn out?
Bob: Why? She was 20 or so when I got thrown out.
DL: So, adultery is OK if your kids are grown?
Bob: Her mother says she turned out OK.
DL: You mean you don't know?
Bob: Look, I have a tough, time-consuming job.
DL: Men ALWAYS think their job is so important.
I'll bet President Clinton knows how old
HIS daughter is. Is your job more important
than the president's?
Bob: Grrrr
DL: NOTHING is more important than your family.
What's wrong with you?
Bob: I... I...
DL: So what's your question for me?
Bob: Well, I just quit my job to get ready for
the new job I want. You see I...
DL: You quit your job before the new job was offered?
You're not very bright, are you?
Bob: It's OK, my pension plan puts me on easy street.
DL: How generous is it?
Bob: ...nosy bitch...
DL: What was that?
Bob: I said "I'm quite rich."
DL: So how can I help you?
Bob: It looks like I won't be getting that new job.
I want my old job back.
DL: So, go ask your boss.
Bob: It's not that easy.
When I left, I made a big deal about how it was
the right thing to do, and I'll look really
stupid if I go back and ask for it now.
DL: Stupid is right. You burned a bridge?
So how can I help you?
Bob: I just don't know what to do....
DL: Have you always had trouble making decisions?
Bob: Some people think so..
DL: I didn't ask what some people think.
I asked YOU the question!
Bob: What's the question?
DL: Are you paying attention to me?
Put the phone by your ear and LISTEN!
Have you always had this much trouble when
it comes to making a decision?
Bob: I don't know how to answer that.
DL: Well, there's not much I can do for you.
But I will say if you continue to place your ego
and self-gratification above the welfare
of your family, you can't be trusted to
make decisions that affect other people.
DL: Now, go take on the day.
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Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!
