Black Students Say "NO" to Clarence
Clarence "Slappy" Thomas had a speech invitation
withdrawn because of complaints from black students.
George's County Maryland schoolboard members said
"Clarence Thomas is determined to make black youth's
lives harder by removing mechanisms such as affirmative
action that have benefitted him his entire adult life."
Clarence was to speak at an awards ceremony at the Thomas
Pullen Creative Arts School, but was rejected when black
students found out he was white.
"It's a common misconception" said Mark Tushnet, Georgetown
University Professor "that Clarence Thomas is a black man.
Clarence Thomas is whiter than Pat Buchanan."
"This is pure racism," Clarence said through the press.
"If I were black, they'd let me talk" said Thomas.
"They shouldn't be allowed to have it both ways."
As he's paid to do, Rush went off on a nazi rant:
"Clarence Thomas is NOT a pornographer.
Clarence Thomas did NOT try to date Professor Hill.
Clarence Thomas is NOT a disgusting pervert.
Clarence Thomas HAS no pubic hair.
Whoops!
Clarence Thomas is a great man.
Clarence Thomas is one of the most powerful men in America."
Well, heck, let's look at the power of Clarence Thomas.
Did Clarence Thomas get this tremendous power
through the relentless pursuit of excellence?
No.
Did Clarence Thomas get this tremendous power
by graduating at the top of his class?
No.
Did Clarence Thomas get this tremendous power
from years of hard work on behalf of America's poor?
No.
Not even close.
Clarence got his lifetime appointment,
repeat after me... APPOINTMENT,
when Butch needed a black judge for the Supreme Court.
..a black judge who thought like Pat Buchanan.
JESUS, those are hard to find!!
Clarence Thomas couldn't win an election to
any position higher than "Limba's Cabana-boy."
("Can I git you mo butta for yo potato, Rush?")
Clarence Thomas has less claim-to-glory than Roger Clinton.
Remember, Clarence Thomas was APPOINTED by the same guy
who claimed Dan Quayle was the person best qualified to
take over if Butch caught a chicken bone in the throat.
I guess Topo Giggio was busy?
Poor Bob Dole
Newt Gingrich told CNN's Frank Sesno that Bob Dole
doesn't have the word "failure" in his vocabulary.
Did he go to school with Phil Gramm?
Bob Dole's about to get an education.
This just in....
Scott Reed quit the Bob Dole campaign today, saying
"It's moving slower than a beverage cart on ValueJet."
More as this story developes....
Cross-Species Transplant of Cells Done
Scientists have transplanted sperm-making cells between
species, raising the possibility of someday using animals
to produce sperm for infertile men.
Ralph Brinster, of the University of Pennsylvania School
of Veterinary Medicine said "We've conquered mice-to-rats.
Now we're looking for a rats-to-human transplant,
and we have the perfect candidate: Rush Limba.
He's the closest thing we have to an actual
human being, and society could benefit from this."
Limba was unavailable for comment.
George McGovern, despised by Republicans, had something
nice to say about Bob Dole. "Back in the 70's, between the
two of us, we could get just about anything we wanted,"
McGovern told USA Today. "Our partnership expanded his
horizons noticeably, in that he began to demonstrate more
bipartisan feelings. He had less hostility to liberalism."
(Here comes the good part.)
"Never once, did Bob Dole double-cross me in any way."
Bob Dole might be an inept, old, compromising, sellout fool,
hated by his own party, thrown up as a sacrificial lamb
to the mighty Clinton juggernaut, but he's no nazi.
Dole leads the non-McVeigh wing of the Republican party.
We salute Bob Dole.
CONSERVATIVE WANTED
Rush Limba-Lying, Nazi Whore is looking for a conservative
to write an uncensored column in every issue. RL-LNW will
guarantee editorial control to the writer.
The editors at RL-LNW have been searching for a conservative
who can debate the right's point of view for half-a-decade.
RL-LNW is on volume 30. Our subscription rate is increasing.
We're about to break 100 subscribers.
We're not huge, but we tell the truth and it's free!
We need a conservative in the Novak/Buchanan mold.
Are there any?
Let's talk about frustration.
May 30, 1996
The newest CNN-USA Today poll says more people think
the Clintons are hiding something about Watergate,
Yet, his confidence level ROSE!!!
Just like '92, America is saying
"ANYTHING but the GOP!"
First Lady in Trouble
The White House is scrambling to come up with a spin
on the lastest scandal to hit the Clintons.
In a stunning Whitewater developement, Hillary Clinton
admitted to Whitewater Special Counsel Kenneth Starr
that is does NOT take a village to raise a child.
To make things worse, if that's possible, she was forced
to admit she knew when she wrote the book that it didn't
take a village to raise a child.
No immediate arrest was made, but this put the
entire Whitewater investigation on a new course.
Bob Dole Talks Tough on Juvi Crime
In San Diego, the 29th, Dole was asked:
Senator Dole, how will you stop crime in California?
Dole: That's ex-Senator Dole, goddammit!
Reporter: OK, but how will you stop crime in California?
Dole: Let's face it. Some kids never have a chance.
We're talking about human beings, here.
Reporter: Yes Senator, but how will you address that?
Dole: I'm NOT a Senator .....goddamn lying media...
Reporter: OK, OK, but how will you stop teen crime?
Dole: Some children are never loved, never got a hug.
They're just sent out there...nobody cares...
Reporter: Yes, Senator, but how will YOU prevent that?
Dole: Stop lying about my record! I'm not a Senator!!!
Reporter: Ok, OK, what will you do to fix it?
Dole: Those kids need hugs, not drugs...
Reporter: MISTER Dole, is there ANY chance you'll answer?
Dole: We need a new path, need new leadership....
Reporter: MISTER Dole, is it daytime or night?
Dole: It's daytime. Why do you ask?
Reporter: I wanted to see if you could answer
a direct question if you tried....
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