Dole the Porcupine
Issue #34

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore


The bump in the polls Dole got from his resignation
worked so well, his campaign announced he'll resign
again July 16th, August 28rd and October 7th.


Filegate

I know it's their job to make Filegate a scandal.
I understand.
It's politics.
But they're not supposed to actually believe it.
The Rush-spin is being given weight, pun intended.
If it was a real scandal it would've gone like this:

Clinton: Louie, I need some files: I need Gingrich,
Dole, Gramm, Lott, Nickles, Leach...

Freeh: Whoa, Mr. President. I can't do it.

Clinton: Maybe you didn't hear me.
I want those files.

Freeh: But Mr. President, I'm not sure that it's
ethical or legal for you to...

Clinton: Open your ears, boy. When you wake up tomorrow,
do you want to be Director or not?

Freeh: DAMMIT, Mr. President. It's ILLEGAL!
(Whoops, sorry. That's what Schultz and Caspar
told Reagan and Butch about Iran-Contra.)

No, it didn't happen that way, did it?
The White House got a truckload of files on the Butch
administration. Does anyone think Clinton wanted dirt
on James Baker or James Brady or the others on that list?

Sure, it was a screw-up.
Everyone reading RL-LNW has experience with e-mail.
Have you ever forwarded e-mail to the wrong person?
Have you ever sent a message with nothing in it?
Have you ever sent someone the wrong file?
I have.
What's my point?
Sometimes the wrong message gets sent.

If the White House got files on everyone OR certain
high-profile foes, it would look intentional.
Getting files from A-G sounds like a mistake.
Besides, look on your keyboard. You have a backspace and you
have a delete button - both are used to correct errors.


Quote of the week:

"Can you make me some money?"
Al D'Amato


Limba's show June 12

First call is from Chicago. Hello...?

Caller: Hi, Rush. Can't believe I got through. Mega-dittos.
Say, Mayor Daley will be at the 911 center tonite.

Rush: You've GOT to be kidding me!
MAYOR DALEY IS ANSWERING EMERGENCY CALLS????????

This is SO typical of the lying, nazi whore.
He twisted the mayor's presence into a safety issue.
With a leap like that, shouldn't he go to Atlanta?


Dole reminds me of a porcupine,
surrounded by pricks.


Twice we've asked for a true conservative to come forward.
RL-LNW needs a dittohead to debate the wild Limba claims.
So far, volunteers are staying away in droves.

Shirley, someone reading this knows someone who can hold
their own in a debate. I promise total editorial control.
You will not be censored in any way.
I'm undefeated.
It's terribly frustrating.


Great Quotes:

"The undecideds could go either way."
George Bush, 1992.


Is Bob Dole too stupid to be President?

There are many examples.
One quick example is his First Lady Debate idea.

Last week, Dole suggested Hillary and Elizabitch
debate the proper role for the First Lady.
But, before Hillary could answer,
Elizabitch said "No way!"
Why would Elizabitch turn down the idea her
husband put forward in the public arena?
Pretty damn stupid, Bob.

The serious example is Dole's bungling on abortion.
AFTER he'd won the battle, AFTER he made Ralph Reed
and Buchanan happy, he re-opened the can of worms.

THis is the kind of mistake a small-state governor makes
when he suddenly hits Washington with no national experience.
But Dole's been in Washington since 1922.

Shouldn't Bob Dole know what he's doing by now?


Rush's show June 11

Caller: Rush, when Clinton got married, he took a vow.
(She ranted for 10 minutes on what vows mean.)

Wait a minute. Didn't Dole take a vow to his first wife?
As Alanis Morrisette would say, "She's still alive."
Didn't Newt take two vows?
Didn't Rush take three?


Attention:

There is no such thing as a "partial-birth abortion."
Do you read me on this?

Repeat after me:
There is no such thing as a "partial-birth abortion".

The term doesn't exist.
There IS a medical proceedure called an "intact D&E,"
but that term apparently isn't inflammatory enough
for the nutcases at the Coathanger Coalition.

Why did they have to invent a "cute" phrase like
"partial-birth abortion?" How does distorting the facts
make their case stronger? Is it because they want you
to decide this issue with emotions instead of
using your brain? Your brain prefers the facts.

Before we go, one other thing.
When they tell you women have the intact D&E proceedure
as "elective" surgery, just remember that triple-bypass
heart surgery is another example of elective surgery.
Them wacky women - "electing" to stay alive.
How selfish of them.

I guess it's true. All women need a man, preferably
old, rich, white and conservative, to make decisions
for them concerning reproduction.


After 35 years, Dole now says he's a supply-sider.
Don't forget - Dole voted FOR the tax 1986 tax increase
that was designed to correct the Reagan error.

After all this time, Dole thinks we want another
four years of Death Valley Days?

Bob Dole, just a man.

Just a man?
A man with a $100,000 pension and a 727 just a man?

He also has $75,000,000 to spend on crooked push-polls
and televised personal attacks first against Republicans
and now against the President of the Untied States.

Just a man?


Big Tobacco says:

"A cookie every day is worse for you than smoking."
Is this true?

Last time I heard, the Keebler Elves were still alive,
but the Marlboro Man died of lung cancer in 1976.


Great Quotes:

Dan Quayle "Where do you go to school?"

Student "Lehigh"

Quayle "Ah, Paris is such a beautiful city."


Two members of the Clinton Dirty Tricks team played a
little practical joke on Bob Dole. They wrote a letter
on CIA stationery that said:

Mr. Dole,

We have a message of vital national security.
We have proof that most of Clinton's cabinet and staff
are Russians he recruited from his '69 Moscow trip.
These traitors that are now running the greatest country
in the world! We can't let them run the White House.
Please expose this sinister plot and save America.

- - - - - -

[Top Secret - Dole's Eyes Only]

Fake American Name Real Russian Name


Harold Ickes - Shitza Brik
George Stephie - Katya Cherkenov
Susan Thomasses - Freiza Nutzov
Donna Shalala - Putcha Fingarin
Margaret Williams - Pulya Puddov
Robert Reich - Soyuz Pizzinasinc
Dick Morris - Sukya Tilyascreme
Mike McCurry - Shatya Waddov
Mickey Cantor - I.L. Kutchakokov
Leon Panetta - Uril E. Pizmeov
Louis Freeh - Benden Spredyachiks
Bernard Nessbaum - R.U. Hungenov
Warren Christopher - Kanya Shovitin
Paul Begala - Ida Bittertitov
James Carville - Getcha Shortzov

These are the only ones we can confirm.
We know there are others.
You must take action to stop them.
Signed,

Patriots at the CIA.

- - - - - - - -

Dole went completely nuts. He hid the information
from his staff. He had a speech planned later that
day in Atlanta. He was going to surprise everyone
and expose the plot live on CNN in front of millions
and knock Clinton completely out of the race,
if not have him arrested.

However, fate stepped in.
Dole spilled coffee on himself.
As his butler was changing him, a staffer saw the list
in his coat pocket and read it.
A simple call to the CIA confirmed the list was bogus.

And the Dirty Trick boys never knew
how close they came to victory.


Other Issues: [Index] - [Prev] - [Next] - [First] - [Last] - [Discussion Area]

Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!


Rush Limbaugh Sucks Web Ring
Prev5 * Prev * Next * Next5 * Random * List


Privacy Policy
. .