Bad joke of the week.
What does Candice Gingrich have in common with the Unabomber?
They were both fingered by their brother.
It's getting easier all the time...
I just have to quote the mean-spirited hate-speech
from the lying whore and the inept bunglings of
the Man Who Could Be President...if we'd let him.
Rush-
"Just before Kerri Strug did her famous vault,
she said a prayer. All the liberals were outraged."
What a load of crap!
More verbal wilding from the Lyin' King.
I'm liberal, and I wasn't upset at all.
Why would anybody be upset?
Kerri wasn't trying to force her religious insanity
on someone else's kids, so there was no foul.
I wish the religious nuts would get this straight:
-You can be as insane as you like.
-We don't care.
-You can slit a goat's throat every day if you want,
we don't care. We don't care at all.
Just stay away from the school and the courthouse.
Conservatives say "We can't pray in schoool."
Please, somebody, explain how it's possible to prevent
a person from praying. For years, I've offered an example:
If you are standing in boiling, electrified oil,
with a gun to your head, a rattlesnake coiled up on your
shoulder and a knife to your throat and a cattleprod
where the sun don't shine, even then, you can STILL pray!
Nobody can stop you.
Nobody.
It's impossible to prevent prayer.
They know this.
Why are the religious people lying?
After ValueJet
The NERVE of Sec. Pena, hogging the spotlight!
LOOK at him grandstanding!!!
I'll bet Clinton put him up to this!
How DARE he say America's skies are safe!
This must be a Clintonian plot to Leninize our airlines!
After TWA 800
Where is Pena?
Why is he hiding?
WHAT is he hiding?
Clinton must be behind this!!
This White House is AWOL - Absent Without Leadership!
Sheep are so easily led...
Dole is determined to lose in November.
To make sure, Dole went to Kennebunkport, Maine
and got some sound political advice from former
Stinger salesman George Herbert Traitor Butch
on how to beat the Master, Bill Clinton.
Butch really said this:
"My heart lies at his level, at the Dole level."
What the hell does that mean?
Any ideas?
Anyone?
Next to Dole, Butch is the king of nut-speak.
Remember "Whine on, harvest moon?"
What did THAT mean?
Remember, Butch's undoing was partly due to new taxes
when he stupidly said "Read My Lips."
So a reporter asked Butch "Are taxes a minefield?"
Butch said "Not if you play it right."
Hey, Georgie... name something Dole "played right."
Go ahead...
We'll wait.
.still waiting...
Then, Dole revealed that Susan Molinari, his cute,
perky keynote speaker, was a big dopehead in college!!!!!
RL-LNW has a subscriber who remembers buying dope from
Susan Molinari back in college.
Bob, just stay in bed today.
You need to check this out:
On several occasions, I've seen/heard this
promoted as an official Dole web site.
It's not, trust me.
It's a very LIGHT-hearted jab at Dole.
Even if you like Dole, you'll like this.
Love the spooky "Bob Dooooooole" they do.
It claims to be the official Dole '96 web site.
It says "33 miilion hits so far," which is more hits
than the Pamela Anderson page, so you know it's fake.
By God, if it is, Dole is clearly waaaay past insane.
It's a fun joke, tho. They say Dole's "ripe" for the job.
They say Bob owns the Dole Pineapple Co.
In Tulsa, (where RL-LNW home office is located)
the AM station that carries Rush said to check out
Dole's web site at this address.
This isn't a mean site, it's funny.
Relax, have a Mai-Tai and check it out.
Trust your editor.
Wednesday, a liberal got through on Rush's show.
Caller: Rush, can you name one verifiable, intentional
lie that either Clinton has ever told?"
Rush: I can name a million of them.
Caller: Just give me one.
Rush: There's so many, the list is endless.
Caller: Name one. Name One! Name ONE!!
C'mon FATBOY!
Rush: Oh, sure. Liberals always resort to name-calling.
Caller: I asked you to name one lie, and you can't.
Rush: Ok, I'll give you one. The middle-class tax cut.
Clinton said he couldn't do it, because Bush hid the
numbers. But in National Review in the summer of 1992,
Clinton said his figures blah blah blah....
(This is a regular repeat lie from the right. I don't
know enough about the budget to get into it, but I
clearly remember that Bush waited until AFTER the
election to announce the new numbers. If "everybody"
knew the bad numbers, why did he wait?)
Rush: I'll give you a bunch more after this break.
He went to his 8 minute at-the-hour break. When he
came back, he whined about Joe Klein and TWA 800.
I guess his staff couldn't find any other "lies."
(And I really liked the FATBOY shot the guy got in...)
Not so great quotes
"Clinton put on his white hair to visit the grieving
relatives of TWA 800. Then, Clinton walked on water
to give thanks to the divers. Then Clinton parted
the sea so they could bring up the pieces easier."
Isn't it a little soon, even for a lying whore,
to do TWA jokes?
They say Kerri Strug had the most exciting vault
since Horendo Revolver and Al Capone.
True Story of the week
In Alabama, some church held a bible-quoting contest.
The runner-up then shot the winner f-ing DEAD!
Them wacko-Christians are so insane!
New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman announced she has
lyme disease. Ms. Whitman said she was infected in
late May when a deer bit her on the forehead.
RL-LNW wishes her a complete recovery.
Stupid Quotes
"My TV show would've won a lot of Emmy's if the folks
in Hollywood weren't so prejudiced against me."
Gee, I don't know, Rush.
They give Emmy's for "Best Slur?"
There's a rumor that's been going around for years
that Bob Dole has an illegitimate son, Dill.
The rumor has never had "legs," but now that Dole
is running for the presidency the rumor is back.
The buzz is that Bob doesn't have much use for him,
but Elizabitch is said to be very close, even to the
point of helping Dill take the family name.
We get letters:
Dear RL-LNW, Can you tell me if Israel's new prime
minister is a liberal or a conservative?
RL-LNW - Sure. There's an easy way to tell.
Count the wives.
He's on number three.
He's conservative.
(Oldie - from RL-LNW Volume 4)
I LIKE RUSH
Some people that think I don't like Rush Limba.
I like him, I really do.
I think more people need to give Rush a chance.
Once you get past the pompous, forked-tongue bastard
Aryan Supremist, once you see through the fabricating
boneheaded slur-factory that is Rush, you'd see he's
more than a posterboy for the Tim Mcveighs of America.
This knuckle-dragging throwback deserves a hearing,
even if he sweats pig gravy. Just because he's a
no-cyst-lancing, yellow-streaked verbal terrorist,
he's still an American, even though he'd never
grant that same courtesy to a gay American.
I'm a First Amendment guy, even in a case of a
cowardly traitor that couldn't keep his ass clean enough
to fight the war he loved so much. I can overlook the
compliment-begging egomaniac to see that there's a niggardly
miser ready to take school lunches away from the poorest
Americans because "to feed them is to enslave them."
We cain't be havin' no Marxist-Leninist food programs, can we?
I know Rush had a rough childhood. Growing up as the
biggest dork in Cape Girardeau can't be easy.
He was teased unmercifully as the fattest kid in school.
Everyday, Rush gets even with those kids who taunted him by
instutionalizing the "us vs. them" mentality. I'll bet
President Clinton reminds him of the kid that picked on him
the most. The fact that he can even hold a job, after his
alcoholic, abusive father locked him in closets for days
at a time, is testiment to his willpower.
He's G. Gordon Limbaugh!
Nevermind his abusive father, the wealthy trial attorney,
let's focus on Rush the man. How did America's premier fascist
get to be the America's biggest talk show host? Partly through
his relentless pursuit of the denial of civil rights towards
certain taxpaying Americans. There is a segment of America
that wants to remain in the dark, to which the Bukkkanan
brigade will eagerly testify. Who wants to listen to:
"Let's give the blacks and gays a chance, after all,
they're Americans like you and me?"
See? No fun there.
But it's a LOT of fun claiming Hillary murdered Vince Foster
and Bill raped teen virgins in Little Rock, high on cocaine.
Under the First Amendment, Rush is entitled to broadcast his
hatred of females, blacks and gays. Our forefathers knew the
First Amendment would be abused by those that hate,
but that is the price the decent people pay, right?
Don't look at Rush as a lying ball of phlem.
Don't think of him as the Dr. of Disinformation.
Don't think of him as the Professor of Pomposity,
the Pied Piper of Perversion, or The Obese Methane Factory.
Think of him as a human being, like Hitler or Pol Pot.
Rush may be a heartless son-of-a-bitch, but he's leading
one of the great political parties of modern America.
Poor Bob Dole. He got confused again.
"I've got Olympic fever.
In November, I'm going for the silver."
Bob, how's your economic blueprint for America coming?
Bob Dole: "We're not there, yet."
He's 73, and he's working on the goddamn plan.
Poor Bob.
Bob, how's the campaign coming? (swear to God, word-for-word)
Bob Dole: "It sort of feels like
we're sort of getting it together."
No, Bob. You're sort of lying to yourself.
Bob, are you making any progress?
Bob Dole: "We're starting to get some ideas out there now."
No, Bob. You're starting retirement.
Bob Dole: "We're staring to flesh out the campaign."
Does anyone in America know what "flesh out" means?
(swear to God, word-for-word)
Bob Dole: "We've been, in effect, campaigning with
one hand tied behind our back."
Why does he DO this to himself?
Is there a secret plan by the Dole campaign to make RL-LNW
a success by having the candidate pitch us straight lines?
Bob, how in the world can you cut taxes AND balance
the budget, as you've promised to do?
Bob Dole: "You could have the growth rate at 6% and
you could do everything, but it's got to be realistic.
Otherwise people aren't going to believe it"
Your right, Bob. We don't believe it.
Bob, what's holding up your VP announcement?
Bob Dole: "What I don't want is a great big story the
day afterward - Why didn't Dole check this about
X, Y or Z. Let's face it...you're never certain."
No, Bob.
WE are certain.
It's YOU that can't make a decision.
The USA Today reporter watched Dole run up the steps
of his plane, then turn around and wave.
They said he waves "even when he appeared to be
waving only to an imaginary off-camera crowd."
All quotes true, taken from USA Today 7/26/96
Great Quotes
Rep. Steve Largent, (R-Bonehead) had this beauty:
"People have mixed emotions about Gingrich
- kind of like when your 17-year old daughter
comes in from her date at 2 in the morning with
a Gideon Bible under her arm."
I don't know what that means, but everything sounds
funny coming from Largent. Largent is waaaaaaaay
more conservative than Gingrich, often angering
the Speaker by voting against him.
If I wanted to field a football teem from Congress,
I'd have Largent and Watts and Jack Kemp on the team.
If I wanted to draft intelligent legislation,
their intolerant asses would ride the bench.
More Great Quotes
Robert Reno in Newsday
"The party wisdom is that Dole must change. But if you
change him, you'd get some contrived mutation with the
sincerity of a billy goat and the appeal of a fence post."
Tony Snow - Rush sub, and frequent contributor to RL-LNW
"I spent more than my share of college nights
getting stoned. I did it because I was a cocky
little piss who figured the rules didn't apply."
Has anyone followed the second Get-Clinton trial
in Little Rock? Check this out: They got Bruce Lindsey,
MAJOR Clinton advisor on the stand and asked:
"What hours were you in your office on Nov 2, 1990?"
Why would they ASK such a stupid goddamn question?
They asked it so, if Lindsey said "I can't remember,"
the GOP can squeeeeel "He can't REMEMBER anything!!
He must be a close advisor to Clinton!!!
He can't remember anything!!!"
And the Lying, Nazi Whore would quote them.
And the sheep would buy it as gospel.
Dole released his medical records.
"Age has never been a problem for me.
I'm fit."
But Dole showed signs of senility at a conference
he chaired in Florida with Connie Mack and Bill
Bennett and some others. At the end of the meeting,
Nelson Warfield was anxious to get things wrapped up
before Bob could screw something up. He almost succeeded.
Warfield said "This meeting is adjourned."
Then, he realized that was Dole's place to adjourn
the meeting, so Warfield turned to him and said
"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Dole. YOU say that."
Dole: Say what?
Warfield: The meeting is adjourned.
Dole: It is?
Warfield: No, Sir. You SAY that.
Dole: Say what?
Warfield: The meeting's adjourned.
Dole: It is?
Warfield: NO Sir, you SAY that!!!
Dole say what?
...this went on for 3 full minutes.
God save America if Dole wins this election.
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Email the Author: Bartcop He's laughing at you!
