Dear Mr. Bart:

 I'm writing to share with you how amusing I find your site. I implore you:
 PLEASE answer!
 Please make mine a "monkey mail" entry!

 ha ha

 Only if you qualify...
 If you do, the graphic will be there.
 

 You see, I am a "Native American."
 When you were too busy taking our scalps and land...

 ha ha

 ...Dude,  ...maybe this is your first debate,
 but I didn't scalp no f-ing body, ...well, ...at least physically.

 ...and remember that you and I are natural allies, but if you attack me, the guy who
 sees it your way,  you won't make much headway with the other 70 percent of America.

 You and your people got screwed.
 We stole your land like Bush stole Baghadad.
 It's clearer than Lake Concha.

 You need to hire Christian Livemore.

 She's smarter and more clever than Begala, and almost as good as James Carville.
 Seriously, she could guide you around the landmines you've been walking on.
 Whoever you're paying  for PR, he or she should be getting Ms. Livemore's cappucino.

 I'll bet she might work for you for as little as $100K a year,  ...with expenses and per diem
 and a fancy office just outside New York.  That's not money spent, that's money saved - times 20.

 ...to say so many syllables at one time you called us "Injuns." Now that the age of Political Correctness
 has allowed us more time for elocution and forethought, you call us "Native Americans." The age has
 changed, but your attitudes have not.

 ha ha

 Dude, if you can't differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys, you better hire Ms. Livemore tomorrow.
 This can't wait  - not another rminute.
 

 Your whole site is dedicated to the hatred of George W. Bush.
 I find this endlessly amusing.

 Two points:
 1: I tell my readers that this is a comedy page, but when I talk about Murderboy,
     I'm often thinking about outside the comedy box.
 B: You're supposed to find it amusing - it's a comedy site
 

 Oh, don't get me wrong: I hate him too. I think he is one of the most evil bastards ever born in America, more evil
 even than Andrew Jackson (whom you white trash almost universally consider some sort of hero).

 If I had a strong opinion about Andrew Jackson,
 I'd like to think I'd have the balls to mention it...
 

 What I find particularly amusing is the schism which has finally occurred in the white race.
 Before, it was always you against us.

 What does that mean?
 Before what?
 Who's against you, us Democrats?
 Republicans won't even take your phone calls.
 Reagan refused to meet with Native American groups in the White House.
 
 ...are you sure you know what you're talking about?
 

 Finally a scion of the upper class has come along and tried to cut away the detritus formed by white trash.

 A scion cut the Detritus?
 Shit, I gotta go look that one up...

 Webster says: Detrius - 1 : loose material (as rock fragments or organic particles) that results directly from disintegration
 2 : a product of disintegration, destruction, or wearing away : DEBRIS  Word often used by monkeys.

 I learned something today - thanks!
 

 Suddenly you're all going bananas, trying to figure out how you could have been delegated to our status and
 at the same time marshalling all of you support for another scion of white power, Wesley Clark.

 You use 'scion' a lot, don't you...
 Wesley Clark is a white man who's getting more powerful each day.
 Is that a reason to hate him?
 

 You are panicked: you have never been seen by other white people as being as low as a injun or a nigger.

 ha ha
 I am panicked?
 I'm half panicked about mny radio equipment, but that's about all.
 Well, that and the loss of the Bill of Riughts and the missing right-to-vote..
 

 And yet it is so.
 So you hope the nigger-and injun-hating general will save you.

 I'm not sure you're accurately characterizing the General's positions on the issues,
 but you've certainly earned the Monkey Mail graphic.

  .

 Oh, god, we Indians have waited hundreds of years to see this pathetic scenario play itself out!

 Damn, how old are you?
 

 I say, full power forward. I have honestly never been so amused in my life. White trash is panicked because
 it has finally been officially labeled as such, panicked and looking for the way out, begging through sites such
 as yours that it is not really as low as the indians and niggers and spicks.

 My, your language is atrocious, and you're not even quoting anybody.
 Were you picked on as a kid?
 

 Sorry, buddy, but it's so. Maybe you'll take some time to think about this as you sit on your pitiful piece of
 Oklahoma land, maybe even you can fit in your pitifully small brain the concept that there MUST be a reason
 Oklahoma is considered "Indian land," as worthless as it is.

 Let me guess:
 Because they owned it before we stole it from them?
 How'd I do?
 

 No, of course you can't consider the fate of my people as you mentally whine about the fate of white trash:
 that would be cognitive overload. You can't possibly consider the possibility that Indians could be better than
 members of the white race, even such debased members as the white trash of which you are surely a member.

 To tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
 I guess it's possible that "Indians" are better than white people, but I think it's more likely
 that we're worth about the same - but not in the eyes of the Republicans.
 

 No, you will continue running your site, continue running ads for your buddy Mike Malloy and his White Rose group,
 and continue ignoring the very basic fact that the original White Rose group risked death on a daily basis, while Malloy's
 White Rose group ought to rename themselves White Pussies as the only thing those pathetic rubes risk is bad taste.

 I admit that my knowledge of the White Rose Society mostly consists of the knowledge that they archive Mike's show.
 I know Mike and his politics pretty well, so I'm guessing the problem is you, not them.
 

 Listen: try to answer me in your monkey mail section!!

 Ask and you shall receive - my boot in your ass, I mean.
 

 You white trash are running scared, you're wondering what it is that differentiates you from the true trash, the injuns and the niggers.

*I'm* wondering about that?
 Wouldn't I know if I was wondering about something?
 Y'know, for a monkey, you use kinda big words and you spell them right, too.
 You're a strange Indian - anybody ever tell you that?
 

 Get a clue: it's your lack of intelligence. I will never vote for that asshole Bush, but I will laugh when he inevitably wins
 just to see you motherfuckers quashed once and for all, for every Indian scalp in your fucking Okie cupboards!!

 HR
 Indian in texas
 

 If I worked for USA Today, I'd say, "Let's smoke'em peace pipe,"
 but you're going to get more respect than you deserve from bartcop.com

 I'm not sure you ever made a point - what did you mean to say?
 You claim you're an Indian who hates Bush, so how are you and I enemies?
 If you take away your prison language and infructuous efforts to insult me, is there a message in your note?

 You've done a decent job of listing people you hate, but you never said who you were for.
 Are you one of those people who just hates everyone and everything?
 Don't you like anybody or anything?

 Maybe when your hissy wears off, we'd let you be the  bartcop.com  correspondent for Indian Affairs,
 but you gotta dial back on that "I hate everyone" crap before we'll let you on the team.
 

 I hope you get some help with your problems, and write back if you want Christian's e-mail.

  back to  bartcop.com