You know who had the best week?
George Herbert Traitor Butch, that's who.
If Secret Service agents were allowed to testify about
presidential activities, agents might tell us where
George Butch really was in October of 1980.
Butch, helping mommy with the dishes in Houston,
feels a lot better about that recent ruling.
What is the definition of an Arkansas virgin?
A woman who runs faster than the governor
He said it again!
My favorite lying nazi quote
"I never, EVER toot my own horn.
And when I do,
it's because if I don't, nobody else will."
-- Tales From The Cyst, Radio Show Thursday, 1/29
Great Rush Quotes
"Bill Clinton said the Ten Commandments were options..."
(That never happened.
Pork Chop made that up.
That's his specialty - pure lies from whole cloth.)
A special thanks to the right-wing Republican religio-wackos
who bombed the women's clinic in Birmingham:
You only exploded one bomb.
Thank you.
The last time you ditto-monkees bombed a clinic,
you set off a SECOND bomb an hour after the first bomb,
hoping to murder innocent policemen and emergency personnel.
This time, you only killed one cop, and blinded a nurse.
Thanks for showing some restraint.
...and I mean that.
Clinton's best excuse:
"My first marriage was only in beta...."
Great GOFP Quotes
"Ronald Reagan made us feel comfortable with our prejudices."
--Marta Limba, Wednesday, January 28, for no reason
If the GOFP is telling the truth,
if integrity and honor mean everything,
why did they hate Jimmy Carter so much?
Our EXTRA RL-LNW Volume 112 received over 200 e-mail replies.
Some messages were intelligent, some were like this:
From: wjcarter@surfsouth.com
Subject: Truth
Maybe, just maybe you have no self asteem and
pray upon other people like a worthless whore
You'res trule7,
William J. Carter
Billy Carter?
You must hate that...
Why were you named after a drunk democrat?
However, you DO have a good point,
...for me to POOP on!
I'm the ONLY political voice you've heard
that's not getting paid to argue a certain side.
Since I'm not getting paid,
how could I be a whore?
I'm a slut.
I give it away.
Why Clinton doesn't play his saxophone anymore?
He's been playing with his whoremonika.
Maureen Dowd is another one...
Lately, the only way you can make a name for yourself as a
journalist is to say the most outrageous crap imaginable.
>From Dowd's latest column:
"Hillary, the feminist icon in the White House,
doesn't flinch at smearing these women.
Lewinsky must die so the women of
America can have better child care."
"Lewsinsky must die?"
Have you ever heard such inflammatory rhetoric?
When did Hillary smear a female Clinton accuser?
I can't remember a time, and I've been paying attention.
Maureen Dowd needs a virile man to wind her watch.
Great Attorney Quotes
"Sometimes, people are not truthful.
Linda Tripp sounds like she's trying to write a book.
No matter what she says, Linda Tripp did NOT witness
any phone conversations or answering machine recordings
between the President and Ms. Lewinsky."
-- Monica's lawyer, the Ginsburg dude
Translation:
"Mr. President, Monica will testify there was no affair."
If the Wall Street Journal can be believed,
which is a REALLY big if,
Republicans give Clinton a 54 percent approval rating.
Great GOFP Quotes
"I'm sick and tired of bailing out these countries
four or five times every century."
--Senator Helms, (R-Bonehead)
(Should we cut into Helms and count the rings?)
Paula Jones - Stand Up Comic
Paula: I got a message that I don't understand.
Danny: Can I help?
Paula: Uhmmmm, I'd be surprised...
Danny: So, what did it say?
Paula: I got a note from Monica Lewinsky. She wants to meet me
in Capistrano next spring. What does that mean?
Danny:
Great and Fair GOFP Quotes
"The President CAN'T tell the truth, because he's guilty."
-- George Will, This Week, last week
In George Will's America, you're "guilty" when a literary
agent plants a story about a semen-stained dress in the
whorish American tabloid press?
President Clinton's Deposition
by Dr. Seuss
Starr, you are,
I'm here to talk,
And pretty soon,
I'll get to walk.
Did you grope
Miss Monica?
Did you grope her
In your house?
Did you grope
Beneath her blouse?
I did not grope her
Here or there.
I did not grope her
Anywhere!
I did not do that
Near or far...
I did not do that
Starr, you are.
Did you smile?
Did you flirt?
Did you peek
Beneath her skirt?
And did you tell
The girl to lie
When called upon
To testify?
I do not like you
Starr, you are.
I think that you
Have gone too far!
You got zip,
and bad, bad luck.
You surely are
one stupid fuck.
I will not answer
Any more...
Perhaps I will
start a war.
The public's easy
To distract
When bombs are
Falling on Iraq.
From the first time
you did greet me,
You have failed,
so you can eat me.
Great Biblical Quotes
"It's better to spill your seed onto the dress of an intern
than in the belly of a whore."
Rush Asks the Big Questions
After about 5 minutes of warnings to...
"get all children out of the room"
"this is an adult subject"
"5..4..3..2..1.. are the kids gone yet?" he asked.
"I'll count again
5..4..3..2..1.. are the kids all gone?"
"OK, here it is..." said America's Beacon of Decency.
"What was the President's penis doing
in the mouth of a 21 year-old White House intern?"
(cough)
Well... Rush... I wasn't there,
...and I'm not a expert on sexuality,
...and my IQ is only about 65 or so,
...but I'll bet it was pumping furiously.
If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe, why can't Clinton?
Paula Jones and her white-supremecyst* attorneys say:
"There's a pattern of behavior on Bill Clinton's part."
We at RL-LNW agree with that.
Clinton has repeatedly shown a pattern of:
-lower deficits
-lower taxes
-lower crime
-lower inflation
-lower unemployment
-lower his pants...
WHOOPS!
I don't know about you,
but I'm getting sick and goddamn tired of the media crying about
how awful it is that they have to report this "tragic" story.
"Oh, it's just AWFUL, this story.
We WISH we didn't have this story.
We HATE having to report this awful news."
Lying, lying whores.
They can't STAND how much fun this is.
On Ted Koppel, on Larry King, they do these "round tables,"
where they all swear, one after another, that they really
don't like a story like this.
They swear they'd MUCH rather be reporting on the budget
or a health care proposal, but we know they're lying.
You can tell it in their voices.
They can't hide their giddy glee.
The men all have erections and the women are moist.
They can't STAND how much fun this is.
"This story is so bad for America,
it's SUCH a terrible story we're FORCED to cover."
Lying, lying whores.
From: bmahar@abc.com
Monica doesn't need immunity.
America will not let this young girl go to jail,
...after serving her country the best way she knew how.
TO: All Americans
StoP all LogGiNg
wE WiLl KIll oNe pOliTiciAn EacH WeEK uNtiL yOu Do.
tHiS is yOuR onLY wArNinG,
The Trees
Paul Harvey is from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
This ad appeared in the Tulsa World last Valentine's Day:
"Handsome,
I await you with baited breath.
I am counting the hours with my hoofs.
Don't make me spit my bit.
Hurry, Handsome.
Mr. Ed"
(I don't know about you,
but this looks to me like evidence of a crime.
Judge Starr, please look into this...)
Last Friday, Rush offered a series of questions.
Rush wanted to personalize the "White House Crisis."
Rush felt it was important for Joe Six-Pack to fully
understand what this "big crisis" means to America.
As always, Rush has a point.
I have taken his questions and put them in a mirror.
You regulars know we love the mirror here at RL-LNW...
1. Would you marry someone who sold weapons to terrorists?
2. Would you want your daughter to work for men who would delay
the return of 50 innocent American hostages so they
could seize personal, political power from those who
refused to give weapons to terrorists?
3. Would you hire someone who pardoned his co-conspirators
so the truth of their terrible crimes would remain hidden?
4. Would you want your child to work for a man who illegally
funneled money to Death-Squad bosses in Central America?
5. Would you want your kids anywhere near a man who would claim
Ed Meese is honest enough to be America's Attorney General?
That mirror bit works every time.
But, what do ditto-monkees say, when I use a Limba tactic,
when I turn a dirty, rotten Limba ambush right back on them?
They say this:
From: tx.aggie@pop.erols.com
Subject: Your a monster
your site is devoid of any intelligent substance.
As a typical liberal your nothing but "hate-speech."
Rush is God,
Shae Snyder
Confession
I, BartCop, with the full understanding that I am under oath,
do hereby swear I gave recently-indicted Charlie Trie $200,000
to launder into Bill Clinton's 1996 presidential campaign.
I also donated $160,000 in twenty dollar bills to Clinton's
1992 campaign, and was a bag-man for Tyson's Chicken.
This is not a joke.
I illegally gave money to state and national campaigns.
(Democrats only)
I should be called before Judge Starr's committee.
I am making this confession in the hope that:
- God will forgive me
- My conscience will forgive me
- That I can make a clean break from my bad behavior
- That Judge Starr will subpoena me
I wish I was typing this on a laptop while being flown to
Washington to testify before Judge Starr's committee.
Because I am guilty, my story demands to be told.
Please, Judge Starr, let me clear the air.
Let me testify before your Grand Jury.
Justice must be done.
Then, after I give my testimony, I promise to allow
Judge Starr to give me "Lewinsky" on the courthouse steps.
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