Once upon a time there lived a vain, stupid, spoiled presidential candidate whose only worry in life was to have a mandate. After a very close election, he charged he was the
President-Ele
almost every hour and loved to shove this illegal mandate in the face of the people. Word of the candidate’s stupidity and illegitimacy spread over the country and beyond. Two scoundrels who had heard of the candidate’s situation decided to take
advantage of it. They introduced themselves at the gates of the ranch with a scheme in mind. "We are two very good politicians who were close friends of the candidate’s father and after many years of research we have invented an extraordinary method
to weave a mandate so light and fine that it looks legal. As a matter of fact it will appear illegal to anyone who is too stupid and incompetent to appreciate its depth."
The chief of the guards heard the scoundrel's strange story and sent for
the court chamberlain. The chamberlain notified the prime minister, who ran to the candidate and disclosed the incredible news. The candidate’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to see the two scoundrels.
"Besides being legal, Sir,
this mandate will be designed in details and patterns created especially for you." The candidate gave the two men a bag of gold coins in exchange for their promise to begin working on the mandate immediately. "Just tell us what you need to get
started and we'll give it to you." The two scoundrels asked for a room, telephones, assistants, more money and an expense account and then pretended to begin working. The candidate thought he had spent his money quite well; in addition to getting a
new mandate, he would discover which of his citizens were ignorant and incompetent. A few days later, he called an old Justice, who was considered by some as a Justice with common sense, but to many as having a conflict of interest.
"Go and see
how the work is proceeding," the candidate told him, "and come back to let me know."
The two scoundrels welcomed the Justice. "We're almost finished, but we need more money & assistants and a higher credit limit for our
expense account. Here! Admire the subtlety, see the inventiveness!" The old Justice bent over the desk and tried to see the mandate that was not legal. She felt cold sweat on her forehead. "I can't see the legality of the
mandate," she thought. "If I can’t see it, that means I'm stupid! Or, worse, incompetent!" If the Justice admitted that she didn't see it, the Candidate would not become President, and the Justice would not get to retire in Arizona.
"What a marvelous mandate!” she said then. "I'll certainly tell the candidate." The two scoundrels rubbed their hands gleefully. They had almost made it. More money was requested to finish the work. Finally, the candidate received
the announcement that the two politicians had come to show him the mandate. "Come in," the candidate ordered. Even as they shook hands, the two scoundrels pretended to be holding a legal document. "Here it is sir, the result of
our labor," the scoundrels said. "We have worked night and day but, at last, the most legal mandate in the world is ready for you. Look at the details and how legal it is." Of course the candidate did not see any details that looked legal,
just a lot of twisted words and could not see the legality of his new mandate. He panicked and felt like fainting. But luckily his big chair was right behind him and he sat down. But when he realized that no one could know that he did not see the
legality of the mandate, he felt better. Nobody could find out he was stupid and incompetent. And the candidate didn't know that everybody else around him thought and did the very same thing. The farce continued as the two scoundrels had foreseen
it. Once they had shown him the mandate, the two began sending out press releases stating the legality of it. "Sir, you'll have to go on the air to accept your mandate." The two scoundrels handed him the mandate. The candidate was
embarrassed but since none of his bystanders were, he felt relieved. "Yes, this is an incredible mandate and I deserve it," the candidate said trying to look comfortable, confidant and smart. "You've done a fine job."
"Sir," the prime minister said, "we have a request for you. The press have found out about this extraordinary mandate and they are anxious to show you to the people in your new office." The candidate was doubtful about showing himself
to the people, but then he abandoned his fears. After all, no one would know about the illegality of it except the ignorant and the incompetent. "All right," he said. "I will grant the press this privilege." He summoned
his cabinet and the ceremonial parade was formed. A group of secret service walked at the very front of the procession and anxiously scrutinized the faces of the people in the street. All the people had gathered in the main square of the capital, pushing
and shoving to get a better look. Applause welcomed the procession. Everyone wanted to know how stupid or incompetent his or her neighbor was but, as the President-elect passed, a strange murmur rose from the crowd. Everyone said, loud enough
for the others to hear: "Look at the Presidents mandate! Fantastic! Such support! What a marvelous mandate! And the cabinet! So ethnically diverse! I have never seen anything like it in my life." They all tried to conceal
their disappointment at not being able to see the mandate, and since nobody was willing to admit his own stupidity and incompetence, they all behaved as the two scoundrels had predicted. A student however, who had no important job and could only
see things as his eyes showed them to him, looked at the mandate. "This mandate is not legal.” "Fool!" said one of the scoundrels, who now had a position in the new administration, running after him. "Don't talk
nonsense!" He grabbed the student and him taken away. But the student’s remark, which had been heard by the bystanders, was repeated over and over again until everyone cried: "The student is right! The mandate is not legal! It's true! The
election was stolen!" The President - Select realized that the people were right but could not admit to that. He thought it better to continue the procession under the illusion that anyone who couldn't see his mandate was either stupid or
incompetent. He knew his new staff had been well paid enough to make sure it could never be challenged. And no one lived happily ever after.
Not exactly bedtime story material.
I need a night light! |