Consumer
Consumption
by Cliff Downing
"A complete lack of credibility"
Ever since moving to the country I get up about an hour earlier
than I probably need to. For those of
us that have escaped the ant like scurrying of city life it is
the most interesting part of the day.
Outside the huge picture window in front of the house you're
just as likely to see deer, turkey,
owls or even an occasional coyote wandering by at the magical
hour just after sunrise. If that isn't
fun enough for you then there's always CNN. For some reason the
loonies really flock to CNN as guest in
the mornings and they're just as likely to entertain as the wildlife
outside our front window.
Not long ago they had the editor for the Washington Post. I'm
not a reader of the "Post". Most of what I
know about their articles and the news they report comes from
reading bartcop.com. After watching this
idiot for his allotted 3 minutes I'm quite sure I'll not be reading
his paper on any type of regular
basis for some time to come. Not online, not for free, not ever.
One of the topics he and the TV reporter for CNN were discussing
was how they generated leads for the
things they publish in the Washington Post, New York Times and
the host of other large city news papers
around the country. Then the bomb hit! The editor was talking
about how hard it was to generate
stories of interest because of the huge glut of news sources
available to the consumer today. First he
stated that there was a lot of competition with the large number
of news sources on the internet. Then
he really let the cat out of the bag. He told us that one of
their main competitors and one of the
most credible published news sources from which they themselves
generated leads for stories was none
other than (I hope you're ready for this) "The National Enquirer".
To quote my favorite source for news,
"bartcop" "noshit"! As if this little revelation wasn't enough the
cute little blonde haired CNN host Paula Zahn
agreed with him. Once again, my jaw about hit the floor.
I remember when the National Enquirer ran stories like the one
that now continues to keep popping up
on another of those grocery store tabloids about Bat Boy. Recently
I saw one of the funniest things I've
seen in a while on the check out newsstand. Apparently former
President Clinton has hired a female aide
with 3 breast. Of course there was a quote from Hillary stating,
"I always knew he was a breast man"!
I think the fact that the National Enquirer is now considered
a credible news source by the editor of
what is supposed to be one of the leading news papers in the
country means that we're obligated to
take a closer look at some of the things that we've seen of late
from the "National Enquirer" so I
popped over to their website and low and behold one of the most
absurd and funniest things I've ever
seen popped up as an advertisement on one of those extra windows
that opens up when you hit some
websites. In big bold letters it advertises their newest special
edition "George W. Bush, the making
of a war time president" this Special Collector's Edition magazine
tells the day-by-day, hour-by-hour
story in the President's own words and behind-the scenes photos
as seen through the eyes of our
Commander in Chief.
WaaaaaaHaaaahaaaaahahahahahaha...
"No shit"
Oh please make them stop. I'm having more fun writing this than
anything I've done to date. I can't quit
laughing and the tears of jock-u-larity are making it almost
impossible to see the keyboard or screen.
Upon closing this stunning advertisement I'm immediately faced
with "Ellen Degeneres pops the
question" as their lead story. Of course there is the ever important
story of "Backstreet boy spinning
out of control" as a follow up and then the revelation of "MSNBC
Star Ashleigh Banfield's secret
wild life". At last, something I'm really interested in. Of course
while at the site I also had to
participate in their most recent news breaking poll "Is
Britney Spears still a virgin?". I honestly
can't wait to see the results of the poll show up in the Washington
Post!
*OK, please note that at this point I had to take a little break
from the hysterics of the National
Enquirer website while I at least make an attempt to regain my
train of thought to finish this article.
Alright, a few deep breaths later and after some intense and
very serious moments of deep
contemplation and I'm ready to go.
The fact is that we're all at fault here. We've become a society
of consumers that demand entertainment
more than we demand credibility from our news sources. Ellen
Degeneres' sex life is more important than
thousands of people loosing their jobs. The sexual prowess (or
lack of it) of Britney Spears is more
important than our elected officials being honest. I think I've
personally been affected for life by the revelation
of the National Enquirer being a credible news source. I'm having
trouble concentrating. I can't quit joking
with clients when we're discussing important things like how
much homeowners insurance or how much life
insurance they need. It seems like the whole world has degenerated
to the point that entertainment value of
something is more important than protecting families and children.
It's no wonder that we now have an automobile named Daewoo, pronounced
Day-woo. It's a small miracle
that we aren't being ripped off more than we are in our every
day lives. Facts are that this type of thinking has
led our society closer to the road warrior movies than we'll
ever admit. I personally don't think that launching a
nuclear war is very funny but I can't get the image of a war
mongering half crazed cowboy riding a plane-launched
nuclear missle into the Kremlin out of my mind. Look out Dr.
Strange Love, you may end up as the lead story
of one of the most credible news sources in our country, The
National Enquirer!
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