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               I woke up at age 14

                      I often wonder how we (Americans all) can grow up with the same experiences and in the same
                      country and yet we all have such differing views on the world (politics, war, religion, etc.).

                      I am a (somewhat) old man of 56. I watched as someone shot Kennedy and I watched as the southern
                      policeforce sprayed civil-rights protestors with water hoses, rubber bullets, and tear gas (and used
                      attack dogs on human beings). Seeing those events on TV changed my life as it did for millions of
                      Americans. Everyone in my generation were affected by those events. We all grew up together but we
                      still can't agree on what is right and what is wrong.

                      At the age of 14 I had an experience that only affected one person: me.

                      I was a student in grade 8 at a Catholic school in a small town in the USA. We were in the middle of
                      the Cold War and the local chapter for Civil Defense ran an essay contest. We were supposed to write
                      a one-page essay about why Civil Defense was important to our country. I wrote my essay. I won for
                      my age group. There were 3 winners. We were going to get a free trip to Washington, D.C. But after
                      the contest they told us "We don't have enough money so we are going to take a road trip to St. Louis
                      instead of Washington, D.C."

                      I had worked hard on my essay. Adults had made promises. I won. They did not deliver. But we did
                      get the trip to St. Louis. We 3 kids were accompanied by 3 adults: the lady who was head of the local
                      Civil Defense chapter, a local county judge and the wife of the judge (the judge made sure to explain
                      that he was "paying her expenses from his own pocket" - as if we kids cared about that).

                      On the way up route 66 from Joplin to St. Louis I was riding in the back seat -- in the middle. I was an
                      eager young boy looking forward to going to the zoo and seeing some things in St. Louis (300 miles
                      was a big trip back in 1961). And we were getting to ride with the County Judge! This would be neat.
                      It would be fun. My name was on the news along with the names of the other winners.

                      At the age of 14 in the 60s, we all respected the law. We all respected our leaders. We were taught
                      that the police and the courts and the law were the Pillars of Truth, Goodness, and The American Way.

                      As we were driving up Route 66 I noticed a turtle crossing the road. The judge was driving. The turtle
                      would be safe because it was in the very center of the lane, moving slowly. I knew that our car would
                      not hit it but I was concerned about any cars that might be behind us. So -- as we were just about to
                      pass over the turtle, I turned to look behind me to see how it would survive any cars that might be
                      behind us (the roads were lightly-travelled back then). As I turned around to look out the rear window, i
                      felt our car swerve quickly and I saw the explosion of a shattered turtle shell and the red guts of the
                      previously living animal out the back window.

                      I was horrified. The judge (this pillar of truth, goodness and the american way) had swerved to hit and
                      kill the turtle on purpose. He had deliberately killed an animal for no reason than his own glee.

                      One of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn't say to the judge "I need to get out and pee -- pull over
                      immediately" and then -- after they let me out, I would refuse to get back in the car with that asshole.
                      But I didn't do that. I just sat there stunned. I wish I had done something at that time to stand up for
                      what was right -- but I was in shock. Besides, I was a kid and adults were "always right" back then.
                      We respected them back then.

                      I am a weak person. I have never been in a fight in my life. But, about 9 years ago at the age of 47 at
                      a church camp in central Oklahoma I finally "did the right thing." I saw 3 incidences where the safety
                      of animals was at stake. In one case a guy was throwing dirt clods at a skunk. Another time a guy
                      was throwing rocks at a stray dog. Another time a guy was kicking (and killing) frogs. I challenged
                      them all. I was pissed at them. I was gonna beat their butts for being such assholes. We didn't fight
                      (they would have killed me). But they could see the fury in my usually composed face.

                      As an adult I have learned that not all adults are good people. I have learned that not all leaders should
                      be followed. I have learned that not all Justices act justly. I have learned that we Americans do not all
                      agree about what is meant by Truth, Goodness, and the American Way.

                      In 1998 I watched on TV as hypocrites (who were having sex with their own interns) tried to
                      assassinate an elected president. I watched them point fingers at Clinton while they were fully aware
                      that their own colleagues were doing much worse. I watched them stand at the pulpit and lecture us
                      on how moral they were and that they were trying to impeach Clinton because "he" was not as moral
                      as "they." I didn't watch those proceedings with the eyes of a 14-year-old naive boy. I watched those
                      proceedings with the eyes of a person who has experienced a little evil. I listened to the proceedings
                      with the ears of a person who had heard PigBoy call a little 13-year-old girl "ugly" on national radio. I
                      thought of those proceedings with the mind of a person who knew that the blow job was just an
                      excuse to get rid of Clinton. I am still not sure why they really wanted to impeach him -- but I know
                      that it was not about sex and it was not about lying about sex. Every one of them who said "Clinton is
                      bad and we are good" was lying about sex.

                      So now, after we have all seen the pictures of Henry Hyde and the girl on his lap -- after we have all
                      seen the naked pictures of Dr. Laura -- after we have all heard how Ginrich The Eighth beheaded his
                      first two wives -- after we have heard of Asa Hutchinson's brother -- after we all heard about Larry Flynt
                      exposing representative Livingston (or was it Stanley) -- after we all know the excuse PigBoy used for
                      not serving in Viet Nam . . .

                      . . . after all of this, why do we not agree on what is right and what is wrong? Why do so many
                      Americans still swallow the barf that PigBoy feeds them each day?

                      To those who think Clinton was bad: did you ever hear the story about what Bush 43 used to do to
                      frogs when he was a kid? If you have heard it, do you believe it? If you believe it, why are we not on the
                      same side? I cannot trust (or like or respect or follow) a person who would do that. Do you? Can you?
                      How can 36% of Americans follow this guy? Do kids who are cruel to animals grow up to be adults
                      who respect life? Am I wrong and all of you are right? I have been wrong before. Am I wrong now? Did
                      the Nuns who taught me about the world warp my mind into thinking that honesty was good and
                      hypocracy is bad? Why didn't they teach me how to spell hypocracy?

                      Well -- I have been wanting to explain my feelings for about 5 years and today I finally did it. It has not
                      answered any questions in my mind. I still don't understand where PigBoy's hate comes from. I still
                      cannot understand how most of my friends can honestly tell me that they think 43 is doing a better job
                      than Clinton.

                      And So It Goes. Sorry if this is a bit rambling -- I don't think straight or type coherently when I think of
                      the past impeachment and the coming war. To me, the impeachment was more damaging to our
                      country than the assassination of JFK. At least we came together in 1963. We are poles apart
                      (no disrespect to the people in Poland) 40 years later.

                      Bob in Oklahoma.

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