Ask BartCop
From: guydubet@tomatoweb.com
Subject: President Smirk?
How can anyone LISTEN to Butch talk and say
"Yeah, he's the guy to TURN OUR COUNTRY
AROUND.""
Turn it around?
To where?
Are they crazy?
Guy
Guy,
Yes.
BartCop
Vote For Smirk!
Texas - Number 1 in Toxic releases.
Texas - Number 1 in state-sanctioned executions.
Texas - Number 50 in per capita spending on women's health care.
Will Smirk do to America what he's done to Texas?
More on Amy Grant's Torn Heart
From Country Something Magazine
Grant spoke only in generalities about the divorce,
but in general terms, she
made it clear that she considers the divorce
to be a devastating personal failure.
"I stood up at the front of a packed-out church
and made a vow
before God about-as best I could-how I
would lead my life.
And I failed in that!
Failure's incredibly humbling," she said.
"I tried at every turn to take the high
road.
And yet, my personal life kept just spiraling
downward."
Folks - we're getting hosed here.
You're not hearing an explanation - those are song lyrics.
Imagine the shit Clinton would have to take if he said this:
After years of unproductive marriage counseling,
Grant came to believe that she had been "released"
from the marriage.
ha ha
Points for chutzpah!
Points for chutzpah!
Clinton would never have the balls to claim
that.
Amy's doing the old, "Husband? What husband?"
routine.
Wait!
Vince Gill?
Isn't Vince Gill that goofy looking guy from
Oklahoma?
If he's from Oklahoma, he could have a snake
or a cock!
ha ha
Is Amy Grant a Smirkette Pioneer?
Wasn't she a Bob Jones "bobbette" in the sixties?
She told CCM, "We all met together and just
said, 'You know, if the
mercy of Jesus doesn't extend to a situation
like this, it doesn't go very far, does it?'
ha ha
Now it's Jesus's fault?
It's Jesus's fault she can't control that itch?
She would mis-use her faith that way to justify her flesh-lust?
...for a guy from Oklahoma?
If Jesus were here, I wonder if he might say something like,
"Miss Grant. If you have any respect for me at all,
Please don't use my name to justify your lack of self-control."
Seems like just yesterday I was having to stand up for the Catholics.
Today, it looks like Jesus needed a friend.
Cunningham Strikes!
Al Sharpton
In today's USA Today, there was a half-page called,
Why do the Democrats Run to Al Sharpton?
Then they spent the next 400 words calling him everything but nigger.
They could've tried to answer the question, but noooooooooooooooo!
That'd be too much like doing their goddamn job, and we can't have
that.
Instead, they listed every accusation ever leveled at Sharpton closing
with,
"...and the Democrats still run to him at election time."
I admit I don't know Smirk about New York politics,
but why do the Democrats run to this guy?
The first thing it does is it gives the fascist dogs cover to have
friends like
Bob Jones and Pat Robertson, because extreme = extreme, they say.
Could someone explain Sharpton to me?
What hold does Sharpton have?
Is it the votes?
Is there a huge block of black New Yorkers that'll do whatever Sharpton
says?
If Sharpton is skipped over, what's he going to do?
Tell his people to vote for Smirk?
That's not going to happen.
The best Sharpton could do to harm a Democrat would be to encourage
his people
to stay home on election day, but that would give them Senator Kitty
Kat.
If Sharpton went anti-Democrat, it'd be his last time at the party
for damn sure!
If Sharpton went out of his way to help a GOP candidate,
he'd be dissed by every Democrat from now on, and he'd be powerless.
So could someone explain Sharpton to me?
If I was running, I wouldn't go to Sharpton until he denounced
all the nutty things he's said and done over the years.
Hillary, Gore, Bradley, they all run to Sharpton for his blessing,
and that gives the GOP cover to be as racist as they wanna be.
Why?
The headline in the National Enquirer this week is,
Shania Twain Joins No-Sex Cult
When you go to the story inside, there's a picture of her brother saying,
"I just want my sister back."
ha ha
Oh, well, they're Canadian.
Who knows what goes on up there?
(That's a joke - don't write)
Selective Outrage
Remember Michael Del Giorno, the local Rush clone in K-Drag?
If I can piece together what my e-mail is saying, Del Giorno was getting
so much mail, he put a block on anything with "bartcop" in the header.
That would lead me to believe a lot of people wrote, and I appreciate
that,
but the show is almost over and he's choosing not to mention the subject.
It's his show, he can mention what he wants.
However
Del G did have time to mention that Amy Grant got married over
the weekend.
In case you missed "The Big List," (always available at bartcop.com/biglist.htm)
Amy Grant, a self-styled Christian woman, left her husband and
kids so she
could jump into the hot little bed with Vince Gill, who left
his wife and kids
to jump between the legs of hot little Amy Grant.
What happened to their marriage vows?
What happened to their families?
What happened to their faith?
You see how phony they are?
Both families were destroyed, both sets of children thrown into Dr.
Laura's hell,
of not being able to live with their real Mommy and Daddy anymore.
A little thing called hot
lust got in the way.
So, both sets of children have to put up with either Mommy's new stud
or Daddy's new tramp - and what did Del Giorno say about this outrage?
"I don't want to take a stand on this."
Typical Del Giorno right-wing Christian dodge.
Clinton semi-cheated and there's no doubt if he had to, Del G
would walk barefoot
over broken glass like Bruce Willis to SCREAM his outrage at Bill Clinton
for being
semi-unfaithful, but when some "Christians" break up two families,
he can't take a stand?
Typical, typical, typical of those who claim to speak for God.
Their selective outrage is the real outrage.
To me, that's being dishonest.
To Michael Del Giorno, a spade is sometimes a heart, and sometimes it's
a club,
but a spade's only a spade if it involves Clinton's cock.
Del G, why can't you be more honest?
They don't have the courage or the cojones to stand up and say,
"People who cheat are bad people and I condemn them,"
because too many people on their side are cheating, too.
How many years have I been pointing out the selective outrage
of the species known as the North American albino ditto-monkey?
It PROVES they are lying.
I must've hit on a new search engine.
From: RADRETIRED@aol.com
Subject:
You suck!
From: bluescat@iglou.com
Subject:
i dont like you...
have a nice day
B.C. Hatchett
Ask BartCop
From: JennyQ1@aol.com
Subject: Lest We Forget...
Bartcop,
Before 1992, could anyone conceive of ANYONE
in politics taking on BOTH the
NRA and the Pro-Cancer (tobacco lobby)?
Before Mighty King Bill, were there ANY
Republicans OR Democrats willing to
say what everyone else was THINKING about
the MURDERERS in the NRA and
Tobacco Lobby?
Doesn't it seem like the NRA and Tobacco
Lobby have ALWAYS been on the
defensive, even though they have NEVER
been on the defensive before the Era
of the Clinton/Gore Prosperity and Courage?
Why don't you ever hear the PRESS WHORES
talking about this - or when they do,
why do they babble that it's "focus groups"
who told Clinton he should take on these killers?
What they REALLY mean to say is that THE
PEOPLE were SCREAMING for someone to
take on these killers but the WHORES in
the media and in politics (UNTIL CLINTON)
were too AFRAID to lose their CONTRIBUTIONS from
the AMERCAN-KILLING
GUN AND TOBACCO LOBBIES.
Am I right?
JennyQ1
Dear JennyQ1,
Yes.
BartCop
From: withheld
BartCop, what's the URL for the Bob Jones Catholic bashing page again?
http://www.bju.edu/faith/vol9num6/movement.html
Update to Message From the Mount
This is a Test.
Sidebar
Remember the movie Midway?
The US was trying to verify that
they'd broken the Japanese code, so they broadcast
a phoney message that Midway's
water filtering system was broke.
When a Japanese sub heard that,
they transmitted that info back home,
letting Henry Fonda know we'd broken
their code and verifying that Midway Island
was Japan's next target. It turned
the tide in World War II.
People have been getting onto me for claiming I'm being quoted
by McCain.
I'm going to print a line and see if McCain repeats it in the next
32 hours.
The line goes back six weeks, so if he repeats it before the polls
close tomorrow,
yes, I'm going to claim McCain reads bartcop.com
Like to hear it?
Here it go:
When a reporter asks, "Senator McCain, how did this campaign get so
ugly?"
McCain should answer:
"If you remember, Governor Bush and I were running a gentlemen's
campaign
until I beat him by 19 points in New Hampster. Once his team saw
that he was
getting his ass whooped, they came out negative and I had to respond."
Help me watch the talk shows for news about the water filtering system.
If McCain uses the phrase, "gentlemen's campaign," I'll demand a $5
royalty from him.
If he screws up and says, "New Hampster," he can have it for
free!
Mail Bag
From: R Ford, rotate172@hotmail.com
Subject: anti-catholic
<snip>
...speaking of anti-Catholicism, I was disturbed to find the following:
"If you think Catholics are just
'a little old fashioned,' remember this:
a priest will come to your house and perform
an exorcism, if you've got enough money."
-- Issue #132
R,
First, let me say how flattered I am that you'd read the
back issues.
Those are some of me best lines.
Let's look at them.
This is true. Exorcisms are still on the "company books," but
because of the
obvious ridicule (and the movie The Exorcist) they don't
like to discuss
exorcism much, at least in modern America.
But if you go to third world countries, you can find 'em all
day.
"Did you know, if you're Catholic,
and you notice some cute gal in her swimming suit
and you say to yourself, 'Boy, I'd pay
$5 to watch her lick an ice cream cone,'
that's the same as cold-blooded murder
for Catholics?
It's the dreaded 'mortal sin,' this ice
cream 'crime.'"
-- Issue #143
This is true. Catholics have always been big on intentions.
If a man sees a pretty girl licking a Pop-sickle, he's going
to hell.
"You see, Catholics don't allow divorce.....but!
If you have the cash, and can hire a high-priced
lobbyist, the arch-bishop miiiiiiiiiiiight
be able to find a loophole that can "annul"
your marriage after, say, 20 years."
-- Issue #94
This is so true I can't stand it.
Many Kennedy's have married twice, and their first wives are
still alive.
Worse, the loophole they used to get married a second time was
to say they were
never married in the first place, even tho it lasted 20
years and produced 8 kids.
Do you think they got away with this because they're the most
Catholic family
in the whole country? No, it's because they wrote
a check.
A big one.
Maybe you'd have to be brought up Catholic to understand, but
I'm a little
jealous that I wasn't born into a family that could buy their
Stairway.
"I survived 12 years in a Catholic POW
camp.....
Between Limba and the Catholics, there
wouldn't BE a BartCop."
-- Issue #95
Did you read just a few issues back about the nun who slapped
my cousin
half-to-death while most of the school stood at attention and
watched?
I never saw anything like that on Hogan's Heroes.
"By the way, Tim, are you Catholic by any
chance?
Russert: Why, yes. I almost
became a priest, why?
BartCop: ...just a hunch."
-- Issue #129
Russert is Catholic. That means in his eyes, Clinton is a baby-killer.
It's my opinion that he intentionally slants his questions to
injure Clinton and
his reputation because "A," Tim's a whore who needs more
money and
"B," if he can fan the spark say, of impeachment, by playing
that clip
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman," a thousand
times,
he figures he's striking a blow for the unborn.
In the latest issue, you referred to Bush
as an "anti-Catholic bigot."
I don't think you're bigoted, but......
R. Ford
The big thing to remember is I don't claim to speak for God.
and I don't claim my talent is on loan from God.
BartCop's Treehouse isn't taking money to "teach" anybody anything.
Bob Jones is "educating" young skulls of mush into thinking that
people
like Russert will burn in Hell for eternity and he's not kidding!
Besides, if a comic does a joke about his wife, does that mean
he's anti-women?
If he does a joke about a hamburger, is he anti-food?
If he does a joke about Laura the Harp and her kick-start vibrator,
does that mean he's against money-grubbing, fascist whores?
Wait - I tricked myself!
But you know what I mean.
I think a comedian can do jokes about anything if it's funny.
Two weeks ago, Seinfeld said to Dave, "I thought you were dead."
It was funny, so it was OK.
I was raised Catholic, and it's a funny-as-hell system that has
continuity
and logic problems worse than Ashley Judd's Double Jeopardy!
Catholics are funny, but Bob Jones isn't kidding around.
Geez, think of the trouble I'd be in if I was raised a Jew?
Great Rush Quotes
"Liberalism is just plain evil.
Conservatives just don't have it in them to be evil."
-- Field Marshall Limba, each and every day
There Goes Mara Lie-ason on Fox News
"It was so unfair to compare Bob Jones and Falwell to Sharpton and Farrakhan."
She meant Jones and Falwell should be insulted.
Mara thinks left-wing nuts are worse than right-wing nuts.
I think when Fox News hired Mara, they got a two-fer.
Mara, are you from Massabama?
By hiring Mara Lie-ason, Fox News got not only a formerly-respected
journalist
with semi-credentials, but they also get the chance to make the claim
that she's from NPR,
the ultra-liberal, bend-over-for-Clinton National "federal" Radio propagandist.
So now Mara slurs every Democrat the same was Judas Maximus does,
thereby proving that even the ultra-libs hate Bill
Clinton, too.
I hear Lie-ason and Juan Williams are getting a show on Fox Whore News
called,
"Why All Decent Democrats Should Vote for George Dubya."
Rupert's giving them each a thousand dollar bonus!
Not a thousand split between them - a thousand each!
Wacky Pataki!
Gov Pataki just said on Fox Whore News, 00:08 CST 3/6,
"While Cardinal O'Conner of New York can't come right out and endorse
a candidate,
I can tell you that he had a very nice and very
friendly conversation with Smirk recently."
Horseshit!
Smirk called to apologize for being an anti-Catholic bigot!
Smirk called to apologize for kissing a man who called the Pope the
Anti-Christ.
Yeah, they damn sure did have a conversation, Wacky.
Cheeses - I don't know much about New York's ditto-monkey Governor Wacky.
All I know is that he hates Rudy,
but that's only because he knows him.
Is Wacky always Limba with the facts?
...and, it's Fox Whore News, so nobody called him on it.
Hillary's going to stomp that kitty.
What Kind of Man Reads bartcop.com?
I just got the new Playboy Magazine in the mail.
(My cat subscribes)
The young lady in the centerfold was photographed as tho she were
alive.
She wasn't wet.
She was upside-down.
Her skin tone was not blue-gray.
Her arms and legs weren't twisted into bizzare angles.
Her pictures did not look like crime-scene photos.
No need to call Homicide.
Wine drinkers might get an extra kick out of it.
Congrats to Playboy!
I'm glad to see you're pro-life.
Flashback
Four years ago today, Tim McVeigh's attorney asked the court if Tim
could get an absentee ballot to vote in the 1996 November election.
You see, Tim's into all that government stuff.
(He had not yet been convicted.)
If Tim McVeigh could vote this year,
do we have any doubt who his boy would be?
Not that there's a connection - I don't know Smirk about Rollie Evans
of
Evans and Novak, but in the brand-new April edition of Playboy, Evans
says,
"In the election, Gore would be the most fun, but we're not going
to get Gore.
It's going to be George W , and I'll say it right out
loud."
"I find him to be an extraordinarily attractive fella," Evans said.
ha ha
There's gotta be a way to gamble on the Internet.
There's gotta be!
I hesitate to run a "Wizard of Oz" parody (See Vol 100) but...
Southwest Airlines No-Crash Streak Intact
Southwest Airlines Flight did not crash in LA as first reported.
Startled pedestrians called 911 when they saw the Boeing 737 on
Hollywood Way in Burback Sunday evening, but there was no crash.
What was first described as a "mishap" was later called a "misunderstanding"
by police.
Apparently the pilot, Howard Klein of Los Angeles, was coming in for
a landing
when he noticed a nearby Chevron station had Super-Premium gas for
less than $2
so he decided to just pull in and fill 'er up and save a few bucks.
The suds you see surrounding the plane in the picture above
are from the free wash you get with every fill up at Chevron.
Chevron - It's more than just gas!
Marc Perkel has a New Page Up
You'll be glad you did.
A Smirk Story
I heard a story about Ol' Smirk, that I can't verify, so I was
hoping someone might be able to shed some light on it's accuracy.
(As you know, accuracy is Job One here at bartcop.com)
This happened sometime after he graduated from college, but
before he met his wife Pickles in the Scottsdale rehab center.
One night Smirk was drinking cheap tequila with some good-old boys in
a bar in
Midland, Texas and, as usual, he was shooting his mouth off. The cowboys
took
offense and dragged his young, skinny ass out behind the bar and kicked
it - hard.
The last thing Smirk remembered seeing before blacking out was a man
with a
jagged scar over his right eye and a funny-shaped gold front tooth.
Gold-tooth-boy was beating Smirk's face to a bloody pulp with a cue
ball.
Smirk woke up the next day in Midland's Bartlett Memorial Hospital.
His left eye socket was broke, as was his jaw and three of his ribs.
The doctors told Smirk he'd been repeatedly kicked in the head.
They said he'd suffered some brain damage - they weren't sure how much.
He had also been sexually assaulted by at least three men.
Smirk got out of the hospital a week later, and walked home bow-legged.
To his horror, his home had been looted and burned and his dog had
been lynched.
On the front door, spray-painted words taunted him:
TO THE BEST
GIRLFRIEND
WE EVER HAD!
Smirk fell to his knees and cupped his face as he heaved and sobbed.
He vowed to track down his three attackers, no matter how long it took,
no matter how much it cost, he swore he'd find those animals.
His only clue was the man with the scar and the gold tooth.
With his dad's inherited fortune at his disposal, he hired several
teams
of the best private investigators all over the United States.
After about six months, one of the investigators thought he had a lead.
They found three, cheap-tequila drinking bullies in Missoula, Montana.
One of them had a scar and a gold tooth, and Smirk, himself,
was needed to identify the man because he was the only witness.
Smirk grabbed some of daddy's men and flew to Missoula.
The investigator took him to the bar where the men were last seen.
Smirk walked in alone.
There are some things a man's gotta do by himself.
He looked around and saw three familiar-looking men.
They were drinking rot-gut Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila - straight.
Smirk knew immediately they were the same three men.
He recognized their voices before he saw their faces.
He walked up to them and kicked the fourth chair into the table,
sending their glasses flying off in all directions.
The three men stood up, and Smirk confronted them.
"Do you remember me?" he asked in his angriest tone.
The tallest man smiled, displaying that familiar, funny-looking gold
tooth.
No doubt, these were the men who beat and sodomized him.
The tall man looked Smirk up and down.
He looked at his two friends, then back at Smirk.
"I think so," the tall man said.
"Sure, sure...
You're our old girlfriend from Midland, Texas, right?"
"Your darned right I am," steamed Smirk, barely containing his rage.
With his temper boiling, and about to explode, Smirk got right
in his face,
stared right into his cold, blank eyes and said,
"I didn't appreciate what you fellows did to me!" said Smirk.
"I didn't appreciate it one bit!"
The Oklahoma Republican party's welcoming committee...
Great Smirk Quotes
Sam Donaldson: Governor, in California, it's winner-take-all
on the delegates.
Is that fair?
Governor Smirk: I guess that depends on who wins...
Gag Me!
Timmy the Catholic closed his show today begging us to watch his
special,
"Don Imus - the King of All Politics," an hour special tonight
on MSNBC.
I wish I knew who crowned Don Imus, "The King of All Politics."
Imus is such a no-talent screw-up.
He commits the biggest crime for an entertainer - he's boring
as hell.
He was funnier when he was struggling with all his booze and
cocaine problems.
Since he dried out, and dried up, Imus is nothing.
How old is he, anyway? Seventy-five?
Imus is your grandfather's talk-show host.
Is there a single city in America where he outdraws Howard Stern?
Stern can be very crude sometimes, but he's usually funny.
Is Imus still doing that "Quack-Quack" bit?
Oh, Christ, when Imus starts the "Quack-Quack," Mrs. BartCop
hides the Glock cause she knows that might push me over the edge.
Is that his way of paying tribute to Mallard Fillmore?
The "Quack-Quack" bit?
It's early, but I need a drink...
Uh-Oh!
Obviously, someone in the McCain camp reads bartcop.com
Tim the Catholic is railing at him for those weeks-old Michigan
phone calls,
that I effectively put to rest. (See Straighten
Me Out, below)
Sidebar,
Timmy, you did this to Clinton, too - going
back weeks and months
to look for a story that's more stale than
Bob Jones's dating policies.
You played that video clip, "I did not
have sexual relations with that woman,"
a least 50 times, Timmy, a full fucking
year
after Clinton said it, you giggled
as you forced every guest on your show
to watch that same old tape
from the year before, and then badgered
them for a sexual comment.
By the way, Timmy, your hands are never
visible when you play that clip.
What do idle fingers do when they're sexually
stimulated, Timmy?
Does Timmy need to go to confession?
Timmy - it's always Sunday when you pull
this sex trick on your guests.
Timmy - how could
you?
And now, here you are two years after your
"finger-wagging" milestone,
ragging on McCain for some Michigan phone
calls from a month ago?
Is that why people watch "Meet the Catholic?"
To get another re-hash of last month's
news?
Koresh, Pigboy's Limba Litter is
more current than you, Timmy.
Timmy, as a fellow Catholic, let me tell
you what nobody else will say.
It's getting reeeeeeeeeeeeally old, Timmy.
Your bad habit of hovering over a dead news
story from the past blows donkey.
If you don't have the brains to put together
some
forward-looking stories,
could you at least try to work in the present
instead of dragging your guests
back in time like a goddamn Jane Pauley
Time
and Again segment?
You're making us all sick, Timmy - now
get outta here.
Tim kept pounding away at "the phone calls," when he knows damn
well he
didn't ask a specific-enough question to corner a dime store
candy theif,
much less a polished professional running for the White House.
McCain finally said, "I paid for the phone calls that stated the
facts
about Bob Jones that Smirk has had to apologize for, Timmy!"
Timmy kept pounding.
"You don't think you had a duty to be clearer on that?"
McCain said, "It's not my fault if the press can't ask better questions."
Yes!
Straight out of yesterday's bartcop.com
If the stupid, stupid whores of the press don't have the brains
to frame
a question better than that, they probably can't handle the truth,
anyway.
However,
While it's always flattering to be quoted by a presidential candidate,
if McCain
squeaks a win on Super Tuesday, I hope nobody points to that
program and his
clear, surgical answer that turned things around for him in this
campaign.
I would not want to be the man credited with getting McCain elected.
More Bob Jones
Reporter: Bob Jones, why do you hate the Catholics so much?
Bob Jones: It's in The Good Book. The Good Book is
very clear.
The Good Book says I have to hate them.
The
Good Book says the Pope is the anti-Christ,
and all Catholics are going to burn in Hell for eternity.
Reporter: So, besides The Good Book telling you to, why do you hate them?
Bob Jones: Besides The Good Book?
...I
don't.
Reporter: So, your hatred comes from
The Good Book?
The
Good Book teaches you to hate others, is that what you're saying?
Bob Jones: No, of course not.
...the reason we must,
...I'm very certain that...
...God has made it very clear that we must...
...This is no good, you're trying to trick me!
Reporter: All I did was ask a question.
Does your hatred come from The Good Book?
Bob Jones: Are you from New York?
Blasphemer!
Blasphemer from New York!
Reporter: You've dedicated yourself to a belief
you can't defend?
You're a third generation preacher of a system you can't defend?
You've been preaching for fifty years, and you can't answer that question?
Bob Jones: You are guilty of the wanton and malicious revilement
of God
and the Christian religion. Your contumelious reproaches and
profane irreverance are an abominable affront to Almighty God!
Reporter: Please, just answer that very simple
question.
Does your hatred of Catholics come from The Good Book?
Or does it come from some other source?
Bob Jones: The Devil has seized control of your tongue,
blasphemer!
I rebuke thee, Satan.
I
will listen to your blasphemy no longer.
I will take my leave of you now.
Go back to New York, or Hell, blasphemer!
Reporter: (sigh...)
Will I ever find someone who can answer simple questions?
Guest Editorial
(Edited for length)
From: wittnietz@datatek.com
Subject: George Dubya
Were I a Republican, Bible-thumping racist, I would be very, very
pissed
off at George Dubya right now. He comes to South Carolina and
his first
visit is to the adamantly religio-whacko racist lunatic Bob Jones
University
and says not one word about their racist, anti-Catholic policies.
Now that he's backpedaling like a wormy kid confronted with a
passel of
bullies, what are fine, racist, anti-Catholic South Carolinians
to think?
That he just came here
and said his piece,
then once he won,
he got the hell out,
and is now whoring for Catholic votes in that Yankee hell New
York?
But now Catholic anti-choicers in New York who hoped and prayed
to vote
for Dubya are taking his apologies hook, line, and sinker.
And these same GOP fascists claim that Clinton is guilty
of
"changing his positions according to who he speaks to?"
Pigboy slanders McCain, yet for the past six and a half years
we've heard
nothing but idiot rhetoric about "needing a leader who takes
a firm stand
on the issues, unlike Clinton."
Well, which is it, Giver of Shade?
Do you want Dubya--who seems just as malleable as Clinton?
Or McCain, who knows when to take a stand?
Pigboy doesn't actually believe anything he says.
He just wants a tax cut, which McCain has not yet promised him.
Whore.
Aaron Snyder
wittnietz@datatek.com
Going Down? w/Update
That big press story about Pigboy attacking McCain?
(Click HERE
- This update is an excellent story,
sent out by the always-reliable Voltai29@geocities.com)
Are you back?
Did you catch the sentence that started,
"The nasty Pigboy, heard by 15 millions listeners on 500 stations..."
Well, even with my I.Q. of 64, I remember when it was,
"more than 20 million listeners on 660 stations."
That Harp, Harp, Harpy is eating into his Nazi niche.
Rush is stuck in that ugly rut where nothing seems new anymore.
How many more times do we have to hear him say,
"I can prove Smirk's not a racist, because Al Gore's father
voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964?"
Hey Pigboy, you know what?
That's not working!
The same lies, day after day, just aren't entertaining anymore.
Pretty soon it will be, "heard by 8 million on 230 radio stations."
Before long it'll be, "former radio gasbag Rusty Von Methane."
I'm going to chronicle every rung he passes on the way down.
How's Smirk Doing in New York?
"Mr. Bush... has been unable to shake the impression that he is
little more
than the undistinguished son of a middling, if pleasant, family,
a man who is
not quite sure why he wants to be President.
His claim to importance is that he has been elected twice as governor
of the second most populous state in the Union.
That is undeniable. But why should the nation at large feel obliged
to
validate the mistakes made by a few million Texans?
Mr. Bush stands out in his field, but in the wrong way.
His personal narrative does nothing to inspire confidence in
his judgment.
His campaign has been one of the great disasters in modern American
political history. As his appearance at Bob Jones University
demonstrates,
he is unbelievably tone-deaf, if not downright callous. Branded
early on as a
frat boy who did little to build on his advantages in life, Mr.
Bush has been
unable to persuade voters that he has become a man of substance,
a leader.
New Yorkers would do well to keep in mind that Mr. Bush’s supporters
here tried desperately to keep Mr. McCain off the ballot, denying
Republican
voters a choice. We’re beginning to understand why."
The New York Observer
March 1, 2000
How's Smirk Doing in California?
Bush has become associated with Pat Robertson and Ralph Reed,
while McCain has continued to highlight Bush's appearance at
the very awful Bob Jones University in South Carolina.
Bush's unfavorable rating hit 51 percent in a poll
released this week, an increase of 19 percentage points since October.
And while he once ran even with Gore in general election trial heats,
he now trails the vice president by about 10 percentage points.
Bush even runs narrowly behind Democrat Bill Bradley in a Field
Poll general election matchup, despite Bradley's overall decline
here. "That says Bush is weak, not that Bradley is strong," said
the Field Poll's Mark DiCamillo.
Bush has lost ground among Democrats and independents.
The Republicans have yet to find a message that can reach beyond
loyal supporters to the kinds of voters they need to win in November.
Message From the Mount
From: sven9@mindspring.com
Subject: Bob Jones U. Lifts Ban on Inter-racial dating
This just in...
God has changed his mind.
He now says it is OK if people of different skin tones go bowling together.
Bob Jones announced today that "he" (not sure if "he" means Jones or
God)
lifted the ban on inter-racial dating. When pressed for a biblical
reference
that led to the ban originally, Mr. Jones could not cite any.
He stated the original purpose of the ban was to prevent a one world
government.*
One world government, hummm.
I wonder if he means a government where there is one leader dictating
to the
masses on what they should wear, eat, act, think and do in social settings
and
these rules are based on the leader's personal whims and interpretations
of a text
that is based on the nature science and the knowledge of the world
5,000 years ago.
A government that erects a wall around its people to keep the outside
world out.
Yeah I agree.
I don't want to see that either.
God could not be reached for comment.
St. Peter said he was busy answering the prayers of high school football
teams
across the country asking for victory over their opponents.
Steven Bennett
I've gotten some e-mails about the picture on the front page.
Specifiaclly how "cute" the shirt is, and did my mother dress me?
Well, ...yes.
That shirt was vogue as hell in 1959.
It was good for a babe-magnet, too.
Fun CC Mail
From: lgrove@snowcrest.net
Subject: Liberals can only get a one-share...
The reason liberals only get a "one-share" on the radio is because their
target audience (other liberals) have better things to do than take
marching orders
from a talking head on how to think, believe, vote and hate.
Listen to the right-wing radio hate mongers once and you have heard
their
entire shtick. It just gets repeated day after day. This crap only
appeals to the
ignorant whose thoughts and opinions are always someone else's.
Too bad.
Lewis Grove
Econ 101
BartCop vs Buckley
> From: Kristi
> Did you see where William F. Buckley said that reducing the
> national debt is not really in the nation's best interests?
> Is this guy nuts, or is he just another wacko under the
> delusion that Reaganomics was GOOD for this country?
> Kristi
ha ha
That reads like an "Ask
BartCop" bit.
Kristi,
Yes.
ha ha
I've read about this theory before.
The other part says if we get into a terrible recession,
cutting taxes will lift us out of it faster, but they never explain
why it's good to have a big suffocating debt in the first place.
I think they're trying to justify Reagan's mad spending spree.
But we don't have to worry about Buckley.
Lucky for America, Non scribit cujus carmina nemo legit.
ha ha
It seems to me the Republicans have two choices:
1. Admit Clinton is a genius who taxed us into prosperity,
or
2. Spout a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and hope something sticks.
The national debt is just like a Mastercard debt.
No good argument can me made for not paying the card in full
each month, unless you're just flat broke and can't pay it.
(That's what happened under Reagan-Butch)
Koresh, we don't even get to deduct the interest anymore,
thanks to the economic "genius" of Reagan, Dole and Andreas.
Let's say our Mastercard bill is $8000 and we're paying $100 a
month on it.
We stumble onto $1000, and Clinton wants to pay down our Mastercard
bill,
but the GOP wants to go to Disneyland, instead.
Clinton wants us to eat our veggies,
but the GOP is pushing the pizza and ice cream diet.
Go figure, the Democrats have become the party of fiscal responsibility.
I never thought I'd live that long.
Thank you, Bill Clinton
Insane Fundy Cultist Blames Atheism for Everything
DR. LAURA'S ATHEISM CAUSED NASTY NUDE PICTURES
Correction
Subject: KRoMaG!
From: tylerpat@zoomnet.net
Hey man, that Kromag thing was mine.
Gosh, probably my best line ever
and someone else got the credit?
Later,
Tylerpat
Pat,
My mistake,
Mea Culpa, as the Catholics say.
Ringersoll contacted me and said he didn't write it!
I was right-clicking and saving all I could at the chat thing,
but I must've missed your original reference.
That was a classic!
Easily the best line of the night.
Knuckledrag radio KRMG = KRoMaG
Genius!
bc
From: dproberts75@hotmail.com
Subject: This Whore for Rent
Bartcop,
How much money is the George W. Bush campaign
paying Rush?
The attacks on McCain by the Giver of Shade
have been really nasty and uncalled for
given the fact that McCain is one of the
more conservative Republicans in the Senate.
(Unless "conservatism" means giving millions
of pork dollars to Trent Lott
or letting Pat Robertson set education
policy.)
There are only two plausible scenarios for Limbaugh so savagely attacking McCain.
1) Limbaugh wants Bush to win the nomination
because he wants
Gore to win the Presidency,
giving his show at least another
four more years to peddle
cheap shower scum remover.
2) The Bush campaign or RNC is actually
giving Rush "soft money"
to attack McCain at
every single opportunity. I think this
is a real possibility
for a number of reasons, such as:
a) Rush is a money-grubbing whore
b) he unofficially "endorsed" Steve Forbes
in 1996, who probably also used
his money to pay off
Rush. George W. simply outbid him this time around.
c) Rush is a money-grubbing whore
d) Rush isn't attacking Clinton as much
anymore, meaning the
RNC must be paying him
to attack McCain this month instead.
e) McCain is trying to do away with "soft
money" or at least force candidates
to disclose it better,
which would cut off Rush from his pimps.
f) Something about Rush being a prostitute
Am I right?
Dread Pirate
Dread Pirate,
Yes.
BartCop
Oh Joy!
Oh Rapture!
CNN is going LIVE to a Bill Bradley rally to cover his speech.
...can you use the words, "live" and,"Bill Bradley" in the same sentence?
I think Bradley's in this to show how exciting Al Gore can be.
Mail Bag
From: WatsMata4U@aol.com
Subject: The Flag Flap
I'm so glad the confederate flag issue was
settled in Carolina.
As you know, the Carolina legislature has
passed a bill proclaiming
that the flag is NOT a symbol of racism.
I believe that ends the matter, doesn't
it?
Who the fuck do these people think they are kidding?
Wats, that's the problem:
They're not kidding.
They're as serious as Tim McVeigh.
Did you see Bob Jones on Larry King?
King: What makes the Pope the anti-Christ?
Jones: He just is, Larry. It says so in the Bible.
King: ...and all Catholics will burn in Hell?
Jones: Of course, Larry. It says so in the Bible.
The Bible - always causing trouble.
Holy books cause more death and destruction than anything on Earth.
Sidebar:
What I find particularly amusing are the partially
insane religio-nuts are
looking at the completely insane religio-nuts
and saying, "They're so illogical."
The "7" on the crazy scale looks at the "9" and
passes judgement,
not realizing that they are seven steps from
sane, themselves.
Meanwhile, the scientists and logic-powered folks,
the ones who do not
believe that a trinity of invisible ghosts has
already written our script,
are left wondering if this planet has a chance
to survive.
Back to Larry King,
As you can imagine, I wasn't paying close attention, but Bob Jones
said that
all Presbyterians, at least the serious ones, the ones who've
pledged to uphold
the Westminster Accords (Is that the right title?) anyway, all Presbyterians
believe that all Catholics will burn in hell and the Pope is the anti-Christ.
"It's all in the Bible, Larry!"
Yep, that's what we need - a full-blown religious Jihad.
All this, because Smirk played the race/religion card to get the vote
of the knuckledragging, toothless-inbred Carolina conservatives.
Thanks, Smirk!
You know, if the Bob Jones crazies come after the Catholics,
I'll have to stand and fight with the Catholics.
Wow!
See Previous Issue
Back to the bartcop.com
home page