Great GOP Quotes
"Either 
has a political
death wish, or he doesn't want to run.
You could argue that the cancer helps smooth his rough image.
And you could argue that having a girlfriend is no big deal.
But getting caught with a girlfriend when you and your family
are
supposedly locked in fear about a life-threatening disease?
Could God even spin that?"
-- unnamed Guiliani friend
Feedback
From: JimGloy@aol.com
Subject: Metallica and Voyager
BC
I decided to check with my 17 year old sonon
Metallica. He said he
used to like their older stuff but theirlatest
CDs have not been up to par.
I asked him what he thought about this Napsterthing
and my son,
who usually doesn't keep up with currentevents,
said it really pissed him off.
He said that he and his friends believethat
the group is trying to commit
career suicide (his words, bc. I pandernot.)
ha ha
They intend to never buy another metallica CD because of this.
Re: Voyager
I do like 7 of nine. Mrs JimGloy has oftentold
my son and me to put
our tongues back in our mouths as we watchher
glide around the bridge
in the outfit they sewed her into.
Speak for your own "to do" list.
ha ha
It's funny about a man's "to do" list.
See this obvious felon?
We were partying late one night, and he said Tori Spelling
was more fine than Clinton-hater Heather Locklear.
It was such a ridiculous statement, I made him write it down.
The next time we got together, I showed him what he wrote.
He hasn't had a drink since.
Perjury
I don't know how to spell voir diere, where the lawyersdecide
if they want you on the jury or not, but I believe you're underoath
when they ask you those questions.
The vulgar Pigboy just told his sheep that "lying is a perfectway"
to fool the prosecutors to get your ditto-spank ass on a jurythat
would have rejected you had you told the truth.
So, now it's OK to lie under oath?
He has the consistency of warm baby shit.
Oscar-Winning Stupidity
In the New York Times, the second-rankingRepublican
in the Senate,
Oklahoma's Don Nickles (R-Whites Only)said
his collegues in the GOP are
backing away from plans to investigateJanet
Reno's raid on Little Havana.
"It could be turned into political theater,and
I don't think anyone wants that,"
Nickles said. "I'd like to get some answersto
some questions,
but I don't think we need a big show."
Warp back to an earlier time ... say, aweek
before.
In a Chicago Tribune interview, Nicklescalled
for blood:
"The administration keeps doing thingsthat
seem excessive.
Waco was one. Ruby Ridgewas
another.
This is another one. To me, it's an abuseof
power."
I'm in a bad mood today.
Tamara Baker and bushwatch.com
know why, but I'm getting to the point
where I think I'm qualified to run for "high" office in theHouse
or Senate!
Don't put it past me, especially when I'm pissed off.
Hey, Donny,
Smirk's Daddy ordered
Lon Horiuchi to put a
bullet in the brain of
Randy Weaver's wife
at Ruby Ridge,
you dumb-shit!
Clinton was governor of a small, southern state when that occured.
Nickles, who can't fucking think, got that lie from the VulgarPigboy!
How can an uneducated Okie, razed by Catholics, have a bettergrasp
of the facts than the second-highest ranking ditto-spank in theSenate?
Oh, God, I need a drink...
(Do they let you drink tequila in the Senate?)
eisenr01@doc.mssm.edu
reminded me that is Catholic.
That means he'll ALWAYS be married to Donna Hanover,
unless, of course, she's Rudy's second, third or fourth wife.
Always doesn't mean until Donna moves out, Rudy.
Always doesn't mean until the divorce is final, Rudy.
God doesn't play word games, Rudy.
If Rudy tries to have sex with, or tries to marrythis
new girlfriend
with whom he's breaking the sixth and ninth commandments handed
down by God, he will surely burn in Hell for all eternity.
You Catholic conservatives out there...
If Rudy's willing to throw away his marriage vows,
if he's willing to throw away his religion,
if he's willing to spit in God's face to scratch that itch,
how can you trust him to do the right thing in the Senate?
You see what a fraud religion is?
Religion is a thing people whip out to show other people.
Religion is a sham that hustlers use to manipulate people.
...and this isn't partisan, the Kennedy's are guilty, too.
The Kennedy's wrote a check and had God's will overruled!
What kind of horseshit is that?
That is so sick, and people do it every single day.
Religion means NOTHING to the people who CLAIM
that they have turned their life over to God.
What a nonsensical trick these morons play on themselves.
How can you stand the hypocrisy?
You know, it just kills me.
Just then, I was going to write "the Kennedy's wrote a goddamncheck,"
but somewhere in the back of my mind a voice told me not to disrespect
the religious wishes of the lying morons by using that language.
How absurd that little voice is.
If the religious people don't give a fuck - why should I?
If the religious people are willing to spit in their God's face,
why should the atheist bother to show any respect?
Maybe Ol' BartCop is the real idiot,
for respecting that which the lying morons refuse to respect.
I need a drink...
Smirk: Dad's 'read my lips' wasa mistake
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Smirk says his father's famous "read my lips" pledge
was a mistake because it undermined the former president's credibility.
"I think the mistake was to say, `read my lips' ... and then raise thetaxes,"
the slow-witted contender told Barbara Walters, the shameless whore.
Well, well, ...maybe Smirk IS smart enough to be president...
I've never done a virus warning before, but trust me:
Don't open anything that says "I Love You."
"It's OK if I cheat on MY wife, but Clinton is a bad man."
Fix! Fix!
Rosie the Clinton-hater got her shot at the big money last night.
Have you ever seen anything so fixed and staged in your life?
It was more fixed than a Don King fight.
It was scripted tighter than a Smirk speech.
Rosie the Ignorant, blindly lurching from one right answer to
the next without having the slightest clue what she was doing.
How could they fix this with a live audience?
Multiple tapings? Who knows.
ABC and the Millionaire show had their most vocal booster in thehot
seat.
If she screwed up an easy one, she might get embarrassed andstop
talking constantly about the show.
The $250,000 and $500,000 questions were blind luck?
It's hard to make mistakes that pay $500,000.
It seems that ABC agreed to give each star at least $32,000 sotheir
careers wouldn't be harmed by their stupidity, and they agreedto
give
Rosie the Clinton-hater a half-mill because she's been doing$100,000
worth of free commercials for them every day for six months.
Fix! Fix!
I missed Law & Order last night.
Did anybody tape it?
However,
The West Wing was really fun to watch.
If you missed it, the evil Republicans told the president towatch
his ass
or they'd go out of their way to make life miserable for him.
ha ha
I doubt Aaron Sorkin, if that's how you spell it, reads bartcop.com
but remember last week the White House decided to fight back?
Remember how I said if you can't muster up a decent argumentfor
your
point of view, then maybe consider that the other guy might beright?
Well, to open the show, the President made a move he thought was
the right move, but it was certain to anger the anti-progressCro-Mags.
The White House staff knew that the second the president spokethe
sure-to-offend words, that their phone would start ringing likecrazy.
Sure enough, Josh's phone rang just then.
It was from a very angry and very powerful GOP senator.
He started in with his threats and Josh said,
"Senator, shove your legislative agenda up yourass,"
and hung up.
Yes!
Politics a la BartCop!
ha ha
Of course, in Washington you can't do a lot of that, butthe
ditto-spanks
had this one coming. They DARED the White House to make a move.
Later in the show, they pulled a trick on Sam (Rob Lowe, who saidsome
nice
things to say about our very best president last week. Maybethe
reports he
was a Clinton-hater were exaggerated.) Anyway, they tried topull
Sam into
a trap, to expose his hooker-friend but Josh and Toby caughton
and warned him.
When Sam went berzerk and demanded revenge , Josh started laughing.
"This is just like The Godfather.You're Michael Corleano, andI'm
Sonny!"
Two shots in the head, Michael, two shots!"
ha ha
Last night was the best TV since the Sopranos's final episode,and
next week
has the potential to be even better. From the previews, we canexpect
that
hooker girl to be exposed and major legislative shit will hitthe
fan.
And, in a dark moment - I predict there'll be a shooting.
Now, I can't spoil anything if I don't know anything, but it'smy
prediction that
some NRA-GOP fuck-monkey takes a shot at the president's daughter
and her Secret Service agent jumps in front of her and takesthe
bullet.
This is a very good show.
ha ha
Rush, you look different since you lost weight!
ha ha
Fake E-Mail
There's a prankster underfoot.
He's been sending me fake e-mails, and sending fake e-mails
to people who's addresses were mentioned here.
If he was clever or inventive, I could have some respect for him.
That radio prankster, Captain Janks, is one of the best.
He's the guy who got thru to that moron Peter Jennings when
OJ was threatening to shoot himself in his driveway.
Anyway, no-imagination boy sent me some e-mail saying he
was with KLAP radio in Pennsylvania and wanted to hire me.
Yeah, like "KLAP" wouldn't raise any eyebrows?
Then, he sent Brainsmasher a note, from bartcop@bartcop.com
saying something like, "Rush is really an OK guy."
So, if you get some e-mail that sounds "funny," it is.
The Clinton Video Everyonehas
been talking about?
The one he got the standing "O" for.
Thanks to John Payton.
I thought I had this posted,
but I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
INSIDE DR. LAURA'S TV SHOW
An Eyewitness Account of Dr. Laura's First TVTaping
It was an ethical dilemma worthy of the "Dr.Laura" radio show.
A gay Hollywood "extra" shows up for a taping of the "Leeza"TV
show
at Paramount Studios. But he suddenly finds that Leeza Gibbonshas
been canceled, and in her place is the queen-of-mean herself,
anti-gay radio talk show host Laura Schlessinger.
"I didn't know if I should walk out, yell at her, or stay and take notes,"
Jim recalled thinking as Ms. Schlessinger walked into the studio.
By his account, Laura Schlessinger's new TV show is DOA.
The experience of this first taping may be enough to convince Paramount
to abandon the program before it's launched this fall. The companyis
facing intense criticism for its decision to add Dr. Laura to the lineup.
Schlessinger has called gays and lesbians "biological errors," sexualdeviants,
and pedophiles. Civil rights advocates accuse Paramount of a double
standard on prejudice, saying the studio would never give a show to
someone who had voiced similar unfounded slurs about African-Americans,
Jews, or other minorities.
NEGATIVE, BORING AND IGNORANT
As an "extra" who has attended many such tapings, Jim knows what's
expected of him: "sit, smile and clap," he told me. Pretty routinestuff.
That's why he was surprised by the secrecy surrounding the first taping
of Dr. Laura's show. The studio audience was made up entirely of paid
extras, and no one was forewarned that their host would be the gooddoctor
-- who in real life is a physiologist, not a psychologist.
"This has never happened before; the studio always tells us where we'regoing,"
Jim said. He overheard another audience member saying that "she hadgay
friends and had she been told it was Dr. Laura, she wouldn't have attended."
It was 7:30 in the morning when Laura the Unloved entered the studio.
She was shorter than expected, and wearing a nondescript suit.
Schlessinger immediately tried to warm up the audience.
"She kept trying to bribe the audience," he said.
"She tried to get us all in a good mood by giving us a tee-shirt anda
water jug.
Usually, the warm up will give you a prize or two, but never to thisextent.
Afterwards she gave everyone her Ten Commandments book," Jim noted.
"A lot of us said we were going to have a book burning party."
The studio proceeded to tape several long segments. Jim said the segments
are normally edited so that only the best parts air. "I don't thinkthere
were
any good parts," he said. "I don't know what they're going to cut.
She wasn't even being controversial -- just negative, boring, ignorant."
Schlessinger's first segment centered on a question:
"Why are woman so bitchy and jealous of each other?"
She asked a woman in the audience her opinion.
The reply: "I don't know." Not much to excite a TV audience there.
A second topic was teenage mothers.
Schlessinger asked the audience whether they would attend a baby shower
given by an unwed teenage mother. "Most of the audience said it's alife
coming into this world, of course you should go," said Jim.
Schlessinger's reaction was swift and mean.
"You should not go," Jim heard her say.
"You're only encouraging teenagers to get pregnant. Unwed mothers should
be ashamed of themselves, and there should be more shamein
the world.
When one audience member said she would attend the shower anyway,
everyone clapped.
ha ha
"The thing is, she doesn't know how to work on TV," said Jim.
"She would just stare into the camera and just go on with monologues."
One man told Jim that Dr. Laura would "bomb" because she had no rapport
with the audience. Her tone was "hostile" throughout, and she was
"cold and distant and angry," Jim reported.
"Those three things are exactly what came across from her.
She was hurtful, hateful, and she's breeding an intolerance."
"A bad time was had by all," Jim said. "She'd better get happy," hesaid,
referring to the overall negative tone of the show, "or I think it'sgonna
bomb."
Most people disagreed with Dr. Laura during the TV show taping, Jimsaid,
but Dr. Laura always had an easy answer. "She just said her view and
then walked away from them while they were still talking," he said.
She never realized that "it wasn't radio, it was real people...
On the radio she can just cut off people who disagree with her," Jimsaid.
"But with a TV audience, it's harder for her to do that."
One woman in the audience was on the verge of tears when Dr. Laura
asked her opinion about the unwed teen mother issue. Jim reports thatthe
woman told Dr. Laura that the child was a real living person,
and that friends and family should attend the shower.
"The woman told Dr. Laura that this wasn't a perfect world," Jim said.
"Dr. Laura just couldn't get that."
From tompaine.com
Great Moron Quotes
"I don't believe we will get the e-mails we asked for until after
the election.
"I think they will run this thing beyond the election. I doubt
seriously
they will give us any before Thanksgiving."
-- Dan Burton (R-Dogsex)
Duh!
Check out the big brain on the Watermelon man!
No, Mr. Burton - you can't have any e-mails.
If you got your insane little hands on some e-mails, you'll call
the author
of every damn piece of mail before your ditto-spank committee
and ask,
"What does this line mean?
What does this line mean?"
...and we all know what you'd do to the Monica e-mails, you pervert.
Besides, Clinton is doing you a favor.
If you try to fuck with him again, he might lose his temper.
You've been his bitch from day one, Slow-brains.
Oh, by the way, Rep. Burton.
How's your secret girlfriend and bastard doing?
Pop Quiz
This came up in an e-mail.
We haven't been there in a while.
Do we really need hate-crimes legislation?
If murder or assault is already a crime on the books,
do we need more punishment if it's a hate crime?
I'm going to describe you two crimes.
Your choices are:
A. Those two crimes should have the same punishment.
B. The second crime deserves more punishment.
Here we go:
1. Two crackheads need money for a fix. They agree to stab todeath
the next person they find and steal his/hermoney.
2. Two Republicans are bored. They agree to get in their car anddrive
across town to that gay bar and stab to death
"the next goddamn faggot"
that walks out the door of the gay bar and
steal his wallet.
So - equal crimes?
Or - one is worse?
E-mail BartCop
Democrats Sue Tom Delay
The lawsuit alleges that as whip, DeLay has long "threatened
to withhold favorable action on" legislation unless an affected party
increased contributions to Republicans and cut them to Democrats.
DeLay and his agents "have engaged in a scheme to extort political
contributions from individuals and entities with interests before
Congress and to avoid otherwise applicable reporting requirements
relating to donors and political contributions and expenditures," the
suit says.
It alleges that DeLay has established a network of political organizations,
independent from traditional GOP groups, that are not registered
under
federal election law and don't report on their donors. The suitsays
DeLay's
operation directs GOP donors to contribute to these organizations,thus
evading
reporting requirements that would otherwise apply.
These organizations were identified as the U.S. Family Network,
the Republican Majority Issues Committee and Americans for EconomicGrowth.
The DeLay associates involved in their operation were named as Ed Buckham,
his former chief of staff; Karl Gallant; and Jim Ellis.
Rush and Alkey Haul
From: klass@musician.org
Subject: Of Course
>The Center for Disease Control says more girls are
>more likely to get pregnant or catch a STD if they're drunk.
>Rush says they're lying!
Of course he's going to say that.
Marta might read the report.
Alcohol is one of the only two ways he
can get her to take Little Rush out for a spin.
(The other way is to buy her a magazine
to "run".)
haha
Excellent!
Without booze, he's back to the ol' simian discipline.
Mike Klass
For Whom the Bell Tolls
From: mcgriffy@io.com
Subject:Metallica
Bartcop,
As I see it Metallica's problem is that
they have violated my personal
theory on copyright violation law suits.If
you are making a lot of
money you will get sued. If you are not
making any money, you will not
get sued. It does not actually matter if
you are breaking the law or not.
ha ha
(BTW could this explain why no one has ever botheredto sue you?)
No.
It's usually about money, but not always.
Rush, Laura the Unloved, Paul Harvey and Slappy the Wonder Judge
can't sue me because every word I've ever said about them
is true!
Metallica is not only suing people who arenot
making any money, they
are suing the people they make their moneyfrom.
This is very dumb.
The question is not whether anyone hasbroken
the law.
The question is whether this was a smartmove
on the part of the band.
David McGriffy
Yes!
Yes!
That's the point I've been trying to make.
Thank you.
Panty Raid!
From: DENNISC@iadb.org
Subject: Limbaugh on STD
Here is a graphics to go along with Limba's assertion that the
CDC
is lying about alcohol and it's realtionship to pregnancy and
STD.
DC
Horrors!
From: christian06@earthlink.net
Subject: Vegas Fever
Just to fan the flames of your Vegas Fever,I
had to tell you that my
ex-boyfriend just came back from the DivorceCapital
of the World,
and guess what tequilla bar he tried?
The Venetian!
Yup. Double coincidence, because I never
mentioned to him
that you told me how much you like the
place.
He LOVED it.
He said they treat you like a king and
the atmosphere is great.
Sadly, his tastes lean toward Jose Cuervo
(I know, I know),
CM
This is Mrs. BartCop.
I just found my husband passed out on the floor.
It seems he fainted and hit his head.
What did you say to him?
From: wtong@earthlink.net
Subject: GOP's Coup D'Twat
I saw this very funny plug for the new book "Hunting Of the President"by
your good friend Joe Conason and Gene Lyons, posted at
the web site
of Dr. Susan Block (who is a real psychologist & had a big
fight with Dr. Laura)
RECOMMENDED READING . . .
The HUNTING of the PRESIDENT:
The 10 Year Campaign to Destroy Bill & HillaryClinton
by Joe Conason & Gene Lyons
The very best, most thoroughly investigated, most compulsively
readable book
written on the Clinton Scandals and the attempted RepublicanCoup
d'Twat.
Thanks to his own remarkable political skills and the support
of the American
people, President Clinton didn't lose his day job over a blow-job.But
it was
a very close call. Conason & Lyons set the record straight
regarding the
extraordinary ruthlessness, chicanery and heavy financing that
went into the
massive effort (a Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy?) to politically
annihilate the
President of the United States. Get The Hunting of the
President.
Coup D'Twat?
Bill Tong
ha ha
(Ediotr's Note: Bill runs the BootNewt Page)
Catholics
From: jellobrick@disinfo.net
Subject: Religion logic, yeah....right
Catholic School Suspends Boy for Refusingto take Religion
Don Dagenais, supports the decision of hisson,
Marcus, not to attend
the religion course at his Catholic high
school.
Marcus Dagenais has been suspended for 10
days after refusing to
attend the religion course at his Catholic
high school.
A Catholic high school in Ontario has suspended
a student for 10 days for
refusing to participate in a mandatory
religion class, even though he has
renounced his faith and has the backing
of his parents.
Bob Loonsbury
Bob,
I might go with the Catholics on this one.
When you go to McDonald's in Paris, you can't get a Quarter-Pounder.
You get a Royale with cheese.
The Catholics own that building.
You're not forced to go there, like with public schools.
You apply to go there, then they say yes or no depending
on how much money your parents are willing to part with.
It's their game, their rules.
BartCop - Always helping the Church!
Damn!
This weekend, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Mercury and Venus
are all going to line up like the GOP behind that idiot Smirk.
There's a big bash at the Little A'Le' Inn near Area 51.
They think if we were going to be visited, "they" might
pick this time of alignment to swoop down.
I don't think there will be any aliens landing this weekend,
but it'd be fun to be out in the dark desert with a crowd
watching those bad-boy Aurora's swooping all around.
Oh!
Some guy named "Pete" sent me some new Aurora pictures.
Thanks, Pete!
Ain't that one fine-looking, bad-ass flying machine?
...and it's invisible!
(Special bartcop.com filtering lenses allowyou
to see it here.)
I don't know Smirk about aero-dynamics, but I saw this baby
do tricks back in 1997, and I was waaay too impressed!
It flies faster than anything ever invented.
It turns faster than Dick Morris.
It makes a strange sound and it leaves smoke circles
that look like a Slinky behind as it shoots across the sky.
Koresh!
I have Vegas fever!
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"The leabers of the Christian Coalition have given McCain
high marks!
This, after McCain called the CC leabers "evil
and bad."
ha ha
The slide continues...
Go Pigboy!
The Center for Disease Control says more girls are
more likely to get pregnant or catch a STD if they're drunk.
Rush says they're lying!
ha ha
Rush is right!
All teenage boys know it's easier to get in a girl's pants
when
she's alert and sober. The myth that alcohol makes girls drop
their guard has been refuted by the Vulgar Pigboy!
ha ha
Rush is right!
I got some e-mail from a DMA regular from
http://bleegen.home.sprynet.com/politics.htm.
I'm guessing he's just a corporal.
Here's some of what he has on his page...
A Spin on an Old Fable
I have inserted my own conclusion to this story.It's
a reminder of
what has happened to Microsoft and Bill Gatesand
how any reward
for achievement is dwindling in this country.Read
It HERE!!
Yes, isn't it terrible what Judge Robert Bork and that Reagan-appointed
judge are doing to the poor, misunderstood Crusher of Dreams?
Why do you think the GOP is doing that to Gates?
But there's still that rape thing...
Why is it that when the President is asked about
his alleged rape
of Juanita Broaddrick, he refers to his lawyers.
Read a criticsm about the case against President
Clinton HERE!
That's easy to answer.
The ONLY reason the question was asked is because Rush and Hannity
and O'Reilly would cut off their balls in a Steve Adler heartbeat if
they
could get a tape of Clinton saying, "No, I never raped anybody."
Rush would play that tape everyday until he died.
He'd play it backwards.
He'd play it upside down.
He'd play it frame-by-frame.
He'd play it in slow-motion.
He'd play it upside-down in slow motion.
He'd play if frame-by-frame, upside-down, in slow motion.
That's why he refused to answer, to deny the Fox Whores
that which they'd cut off their balls to obtain.
ha ha
Clinton should tell them, "Cut your balls off, THEN I'll answer."
ha ha
They hate him so much, they might do it!
ha ha
I can tell you're new at this.
You used the word "alleged."
Didn't you get the memo?
You're supposed to GUARANTEE Clinton raped her.
That's how the Nazi-hate game works, son.
If you'd like, I could spend some time with you and
bring your web site up to Fox News Channel "standards."
The truth is... Dan Quayle is right!
Dan Quayle had to deal with a lot of negative
criticsm when
he was our Vice President.
Read what actually happened during the 'POTATO
INCIDENT.'
I don't think poor Dan Quayle could possibly be as stupid as
America thinks he is. I mean, how could he be?
Quayle is as guilty of the Potato thing as Gore is of inventing
the Internet and being the basis for the book Love Story.
Both were blown way the hell out of proportion.
One big difference tho, YOUR SIDE believes Quayle is that stupid.
Why else would the GOP refuse to vote for him when he has the
experience, the vision, he's been vetted etc etc etc?
Yet the GOP won't touch him because of "the buffoon thing."
ha ha
You can't say the democrats won't LET you vote for him.
The truth is, your side thinks he's as stupid as America does.
Thanks, and don't be a stranger.
Maybe we could debate some issues?
Got some E-Mail last night from a good friend.
He said he was downloading Metallica's Sandman
from that continuing criminal enterprise Napster.com
I hadn't been there, so I went.
I did NOT have a positive experience.
First, you DL the software.
Fine.
While it was unfolding, it asked me if I wanted it to search my
hard drive for MP3s and I hit, "No."
The second I did, it searched my hard drive for Mp3s, and, since I'm
on DSL,
I was IMMEDIATELY put into some chat room with 40 complete strangers
with every song on my hard drive displayed for everyone to see and
download.
Hey, fuck that!
I hit "uninstall" and that was the end of my Napster "fun."
Koresh!
I'm glad I had my damn pants on at the time.
No telling what pictures would be circling the globe
if I'd been in my robe - or worse...
I don't like those Napster fellows, never said I did, either.
But if you'd like YOUR hard drive exposed to every pervert
with electricity and a modem, go ahead and visit Napster.com
Geez, what's to prevent them from sending some kiddie porn into my
computer? I have no reason to suspect they would, but remember, in
Oklahoma you can get life without parole for a porngraphy bust.
Clinton's Funniest Video
The country is still laughing about that 10-minute
film shown over the
weekend at the White House Correspondents Association
dinner in Washington.
Introduced by President Clinton, the satire showed
him winding down his days in
the White House . . . doing laundry, washing
the car, packing Hillary's lunch bag.
And although the video was a hit in the laugh
department, as with all things in
Washington it also sparked debate -- on how much
time the most powerful person
in the world spent making it. Some sources say
two to three hours, others say
five to six. Cost of the video, produced by Everybody
Loves Raymond" producer
Phil Rosenthal was said to be $12,000.
No word yet on whether or not whoever financed it will be investigated.
ha ha
Big Gay Rally
Over the weekend, they had some big gay rally in DC.
I didn't catch the official name, but it doesn't matter.
A few of the speakers got a little carried away, and it's my opinion
they did themselves more harm than good by not screening comments
ahead of time because some of it, indeed, seemed inappropriate.
Rush, Fox News Whores and my local ditto-spank Michael Del Giorno
have all done hate-filled commentaries on these "bad, bad" people.
Back when Rush wanted to call Clinton a "Turd Licker,"
he asked his listeners to get all the kids out of the room so
he
could be a vulgar little fuck and call Clinton "Turd Licker."
This time he did the same thing.
He asked his listeners to get the kids away from the radio sohe
could play audio of comedienne Margaret Cho saying,
"I'd like to use the Washington Monument as a giant strap-on
dildo."
I took it as a joke, but the religiously-trapped non-thinkers
seemed to
have taken her seriously, and they don't want their monument
used as
a sex toy for a couple of God-forsaken going-to-Hell-anyway lesbians,
but it DID give them something to scream about the next few days.
What am I getting at?
(In my old age, I seem to take longer and longer to get to thepoint.)
Rush and O'Reilly and Hannity and K-Drag DMA regular Del Giorno
all expressed their "outrage" that they had to witness this.
THEY ARE LYING SONS OF BITCHES.
Rush and O'Reilly and Hannity and Del Giorno did NOT watch that
rally.
That rally was at least six hours on television. These four lying
pricks
did NOT sit in front of their TVs watching six hours of gay pride.
They had some poor schmuck at Monkey Central record it, taking
notes,
then satellite the "offending passages" to Cro-Mags nationwide,
so they could all pretend outrage the following day.
To hear them tell the tale, they had Grandma and Grandpa over,and
they
and the kids sat in front of the TV for six hours, trying to
get some good
old-fashioned gay and lesbian entertainment and gosh darn it
if the gays
didn't go and use some bad words and express some shocking ideas.
They are lying sons of bitches.
Why, Lord, did you afflict us with your ditto-monkeys?
I tried to get to this earlier, but there's just not enough time...
On the Sunday shows, Tony Snow (Fox Whore) asked Trent Lott (R-WhitesOnly)
if there'd be Senate hearings on Janet Reno's successful rescue
of Elian.
Lott's response?
"It's up to the Senate Judiciary Committee."
At the same time, on Meet the Whore with Tim the Catholic, B'Orrin
Hatch,
Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, was asked the same
question.
Hatch's response?
"Senator Lott has asked us to hold hearings."
Both of them trying to put the blame on the other.
Aren't they a couple of stand-up dudes...
Now, all the Republicans are backing off, which pissesme
off.
What about their constitutionally-demanded oversight responsibilities?
When they conducted the other 147 witchhunts, they said,
"We have NO CHOICE! It's in the Constitution! Look it up!"
but suddenly, they've decided this might hurt their chances in
November,
so to hell with the United States Constitution, right guys?
This is HORSESHIT!
Why isn't anyone calling them on this?
I want a show on Fox!
Fair and balanced, right?
Hey Fox, you lousy, lying whores!
Let us hear BOTH sides of the argument, not just the liar's side.
Give BartCop his own TVshow now!
VCR Alert
(Don't let the babes throw ya, this is serious)
The Celebrity Millionaire saga continues tonight. (seebelow)
The West Wing three-parter has it's second installment
tonight.
The president is throwing down the gauntlet to the ditto-monkeys.
Should be good.
On Star Trek Voyager, "Kes seeks revenge" which is odd
because Kes
left the show two or three years ago to make way for Seven-of-Nine
and her can't-hide-a-dime body suits.
Jeri Ryan doesn't do anything for me as a woman, she's not on
my "to do" list or anything, but she brought new life to
a show
that was getting stale, so good for her.
The fabulous Angie Harmon stars in tonight's Law & Order.
She's on every man's "to do" list.
Oh, goody!
In tonight's murder,
a woman is found dead with her hands cut off.
I'll bet we're having spaghetti for dinner, too.
Then, there's the dreaded Country Music Awards - again.
Oh, well, maybe Shania will be there...
...and Bill Maher is still in prison.
Did you see last night's show?
Barbara Olson, (I won't do the McDonald's picture this time)
made
Bill so angry I thought he was going to smack her lying face.
Barbara Olson is a Republican.
That means she's UNABLE to answer simple questions.
Since it takes ABC days and days and days to post a transcript,
I'll have to do this from memory, but I'll get it damn close
to right.
I'm surprised Maher didn't smack her hard.
The subject was drug laws.
Bill said he had a sick/dying friend in prison for smoking "flowers."
Olson butted in, "Pot is illegal!"
Maher: But WHY is it illegal?
Olson: Because it hurts families!
Maher: Well, booze hurts families, right?
Olson: Yes, but booze is legal.
Maher: But I'm asking WHY, since booze does more harm.
Olson: With drugs, it harms the families, the children
Maher: But what about booze! It harms MORE!
Olson: But booze is legal, pot is not!
Maher: But I'm asking why!
Olson: because drugs harm families.
Maher: More than liquor???
Olson: Liquor is legal!
Maher: But why? Booze does so much more harm!
Olson: But booze is legal!
I swear - Maher wanted her dead.
So did I, and so did every person in that prison.
That stupid cow has NO CLUE what her argument means.
She has no idea how to defend her position.
She argues like a pro-Metallica fan.
Maher did everything he could to not reach over and smack the
bitch.
Why, oh, why do Republicans fight so goddamn hard for something
if
they don't have the slightest clue of the ins-and-outs of their
position?
Clearly, Maher had her in a box.
To answer the question, she'd have to AGREE with Maher,
so she pulled the old bullshit of nonsense repetition over and
over.
Now - speaking of bullshit Republican non-answers....
For years and years, there's been the "BartCop Quiz."
The BartCop Quiz has always been able to trap ditto-monkeys.
The whole point behind the BartCop Quiz is,
if you answer the question, you'll be forced to agree
with me,
just like Olson would've been forced to agree with Maher that
booze
is worse for you than pot, but her Bible and her Party won'tallow
independent thought, they live by rote and regurgitation.
They call it, "traditional values," but what it really is is
the refusal
to look at the facts and make an intelligent, informed decision.
Like with the Bible, they're taught to repeat what they've been
told,
and never, ever think for yourself because "The Devil"might
confuse you with his facts.
What am I getting to?
One of the big questions in the BartCop Quiz has always been:
"If science proves beyond any doubt that homosexuality
is genetic,
would you then accept gay people?
Or would you simply change the reason you hate them?"
The University of California at Berkeley did a study on fingers.
You might've seen this in the paper lately.
For this next ten minutes, let's not argue about how radical
Berkeley
is or the merits of the study, let's just talk about the study.
They said, as a rule, men have shorter index fingers than ring
fingers.
For women, those fingers tend to be the same length.
BUT
The fingers of lesbian women were of similar length, like the
men,
and gay men had finger-lengths similar to the women.
Stop!
I don't want to hear how flawed the study is, I'm just asking,"What
if?"
Because this finger-gene thing would tend to prove that gay people
didn't CHOOSE to have longer or shorter fingers.
To them, it's just a finger on their damn hand.
IF the study pans out, and is acceptedby
the scientific community,
would the GOP and the religio-nuts stop hating gays?
No, they won't.
For YEARS, when I asked that question in the BartCop Quiz,
(If it's PROVEN it's not a choice, would you stop the hate?)
they would
always answer, "No, because science will never prove that."
Their stupid 1600-year old book of superstitious jokes won't LET
them.
The religious community has instructed their sheep to use blinders
when
new ideas come around, because that 1600-year old book knows
better.
This is a stupid way to live one's life - without science and logic.
Barbara Olson can't stop hating.
She can't answer the easiest questions in the world, because
she knows
if she gets off the official GOP-sanctioned "Word of God,"
she may have to answer other troubling questions, so they
play it safe,
they play it stupid, and these idiots want control over your
life and mine.
That's horseshit.
They are cavemen who need to be stopped.
Drew Carey
It pains me to say good things about a supposed Clintonhater,
but Drew Carey proved me wrong last night and I'm glad he did.
Carey got to $500,000 on Millionaire and stopped, so hecould
give the orphans a half-million dollars instead of a fun half-hour.
I expected the stars to stay on camera until they missed
because their egos mean more to them than the money for charity.
Sometimes being wrong feels good.
Who Likes Cheap Rum?
From: Bells65@wwnet.net
Subject: Was Lazaro a MarielBoatlift Mental Patient?
O'Reilly the whore was just talking aboutall
of the "criminals and
crazies" that Castro sent to the U.S. in1980.
Do you know when Uncle Lazy-ro Came to theU.S.?
ha ha
I'll bet Lazaro and Scarface came over on the same boat...
Video Alert
A couple of weeks before the White House Correspondents' dinner
Clinton did stand up at the Radio and Television whatever dinner.
He did some mock Gore commercials.
These isn't as great as the "Lonely at the White House" film he
did
Saturday, but it's damn good stuff.
Thanks to Andrew Cortez
The good news?
Today there will be fewer Metallica stories than yesterday.
The bad news?
BartCop vs Metallica
Got an e-mail last night at 7 PM from Jeff Koenig.
He said "Metallica on Yahoo Chat right
now, room not crowded."
That got my attention.
I am not making any claims, let's get that straight up front.
When I got there, there was 15-18 people in the room.
Lars and James and one other shy band-dude were there.
It wasn't really a chat, so much as a "pose your question to the
band,"
and see if they're in the mood to answer you.
Since the stated purpose of the chat was to talk about Napster,
I asked, repeatedly:
"Was it a good PR move to have your attorney threaten prison time
for the fans who downloaded your music?"
When I need to, I can type like John Mescheda speaks.
The band almost certainly got the question - several times.
I promise, Helen Keller was relaying the questions, but statistically,
they had to get that question at least five times.
Reminder: There was less than 20 people there, and chat room vets
know
out of 20 people in a room, only 6-8 people are likely to talk.
It's my opinion I was the only one putting a real question to
them,
and here's where the "no claims" part comes in...
Lars kept saying non-sequiters like, "It's not about the money!"
James did some talking too, but it was mostly Lars speaking for
them.
I kept asking, "Was is a mistake to have your lawyer threaten
your fans?"
and they never came up with an answer, even tho they HAD to have
seen it.
Lars got a little peeved, and the band left early and they didn't
say goodbye.
Maybe something strange happened, maybe someone spilled coffee
or whatever,
but they seemed to leave abruptly and without notice...
Tonight, they're scheduled to be on the Artists Direct website.
Maybe they'll answer a simple question or two....
Read Previous Issue
Go bartcop.com