From the New & Improved Smudge Report
WHAT LIFE WAS
LIKE BEFORE BILL CLINTON
From the New York Times
July 26, 1991
GM, FORD AGAIN POST BIG LOSSES
The nation's two largest car companies reported
big losses yesterday,
G.M. for the fourth consecutive quarter and Ford
for the third,
reflecting lower production and weak demand for
cars and trucks in
most markets--particularly the United States.
The General Motors Corporation
said it lost $785 million in the second quarter.
The No. 2 auto maker,
the Ford Motor Company, posted a quarterly loss
of $324 million.
That was a slight improvement over recent periods,
when the companies had record losses.
This is a true and accurate report from the New York Times.
When Reagan/Butch were in charge, if a big corporation "only" lost
$324 million, they threw a party because it was better than last
year!
Thank you, Bill Clinton, for saving America!
Check out the new Smudge Report.
It was very, very good, and then he improved it!
From: charles.barry@twc.state.tx.us
Subject: What kind of web cite is this?
Your web cite seems to be a blend of liberal
politics and poorly educated
morons. The people that contribute to your
web cite use the standard
liberal method of personal attacks when
all else fails. If you can not
counter a argument with logic then attack
the persona of the messenger.
When was the last time George Will called
the President a name?
That seems to be the difference between
liberals and conservatives,
a conservative will debate you on the merits
of an idea,
were as a liberal will just call you names.
Thank You
Chuck Barry
Chuck,
Funny, you didn't ask when the last time the King of Personal
Slurs
called the president a name. Why did you switch the question
to Will?
Gun Grabbers
From: Paulwetor@aol.com
Subject: If I Were Dictator
If I were taking over the U.S. by force,
the first place I'd go is NRA
headquarters, to get their membership list.
It wouldn't be all the gun
owners, but it would be a start. To protect
your gun privacy, the last thing
you'd want to do is join the NRA.
ha ha
Good point!
From Cecelia
Flowers
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
law. I have
learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge
with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus
18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some
advice from
you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to
best follow
them.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates
a
pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9.) The problem is
my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with
this?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests
in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be
a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period
of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem
is, how do I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations
that are around
us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but
not
Canadians. Can you clarify?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill
him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination
Lev. 10:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don't agree.
Can you settle this?
Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of
God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
I know you have studied these things, so I am confident you can
help.
Thanks again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
Jack Fertig
The Vulgar Pigboy on MNF?
The apparent bid by conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh
to do Monday Night Football is either a bad joke or a pathetic
publicity ploy to jack up sagging ratings. Either way this trial
balloon went over like a ton of bricks.
What's next, Newt Gingrich calling the baseball game of the week?
Those who aren't still hooting and holding their sides over the
big guy's
buffoonery have to wonder if Al Franken's Big Fat Idiot
will get a grip
before he further embarrasses himself. The rotund chowder-head
-
sorry, dittohead - has as much claim to doing NFL color with
Al Michaels
as I have calling a hockey game. The powers that be at ABC have
my
sympathies and musings on what could be the network's worst nightmare.
In the Limbaugh tradition of fairness and impartiality, let's
examine the
pros and cons of this particular job applicant who inexplicably
is lobbying
hard to replace the competent but not especially compelling Boomer
Esiason.
PRO RUSH: The man can relate. As a college dropout, he'd
have a
lot in common with NFL players who regularly spurn academia for
agents and zillion-dollar contracts. Add the fact that Rush also
knows
about the draft - not how to get picked for it - but how to dodge
conscription like his pal Bill Clinton, and you've got a real
team player.
CON RUSH: The man can't relate. Football is a working man's
sport, and Rush has never put in an honest day's work in his
bloated
life. Add to the fact that a goodly number of NFL fans are blue-collar,
shot-and-a-beer, Democrats who might bristle at the Limbaugh
brand of
scintillating banter and you've got the makings of a plus-sized
Art Modell.
PRO RUSH: He represents millions. What is so wrong with
being a
white, filthy rich, Republican male? Nary a thing, chime the
fat-cat
NFL owners. These exclusive club members, driven by greed and
giddy with self-importance, can immediately identify with one
of their
sodden species, and embrace his strained witticisms as the gospel
truth.
CON RUSH: He represents fascists. Rush is the extremist's
answer
to a dream. With loopy pals Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson,
Rush
co-wrote the book on liberalism - the root of all evil. What
other color
analyst could watch a quarterback being sacked by a linebacker
from
the opposing team and wonder aloud if his offensive line was
not merely inept but part of a vast left-wing conspiracy?
PRO RUSH: He can eat as much as any pro-football player
at the
training table.
CON RUSH: In the training room he can barely lift more
than his
pudgy finger to point the blame at someone for something.
PRO RUSH: He's a really, really, big NFL fan
CON RUSH: With fans like that who needs PSLs?
PRO RUSH: A clean break from jockdom. Never been there,
done that, in sports, but considers lack of experience and first-hand
knowledge of football an asset. He'll bring a fresh approach
to
the job by spewing bombastic opinions instead of insight.
CON RUSH: Had a past life as a jock who was an end, guard,
and tackle. He sat at the end of the bench, guarded the edible
stuff and Gatorade, and tackled anyone who came near.
PRO RUSH: He's a great observer of sports, another snappy
Howard Cosell prepared to give the Monday night broadcast a
needed character boost and a smidgen of controversy.
CON RUSH: We knew Howard Cosell. He was a crusty commentator
with an eye for talent, an ear for fact and a New York mouth
to tell it
like it was in a distinctive fashion all his own. He was a fixture
for years
and we knew him well. Rush Limbaugh is no Howard Cosell.
PRO RUSH: Football is a manly sport for manly men like
Rush, who
can take the little ladies or leave 'em where they belong tending
the home and hearth and fetching beer for their manly men.
CON RUSH: Women are so ticked off that a sexist pig
like Rush
is even being allowed to audition for the job they are threatening
to
withhold the beer and hide the remote from their manly men unless
ABC chooses a femi-Nazi to join the play-by-play announcer.
PRO RUSH: He gives as good as he gets. Any diatribe against
Rush is more than met, insult for insult, by the hefty, paper-rattling
radio host. And anyone who can lampoon the looks of the
President's daughter deserves as good as he gets.
CON RUSH: Rush, who? Last but not least, the biggest con
for this job
applicant to join ABC's Monday Night Football, besides his total
lack of
qualifications, is name recognition. In television, it's called
a Q-rating,
and quantifies audience familiarity with a media personality.
This guy
hit his stride - what, six years ago? - when Newt and Co. launched
the
infamous "Contract on America," and it's been all down hill from
there.
No question, ABC should deflate this gas bag with a firm
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
Marilou Johanek is a Blade editorial writer.
Thanks to Leo Carr.
Rep.
Rick Lazio, (R-Loser) fell and cut his lip. Lazio, in his enthusiasm
for greeting supporters during a parade in Babylon,
N.Y., tripped and fell on his face
as he sprinted to rejoin the march after stopping
to shake hands.
Hey, Rick!
Get used to falling on your face, dude.
Mail Bag
From: jcolwel2@ford.com
Subject: Ilkka From Finland's Letter
Ilkka asked an excellent question:
("What would conservatives say if the most
learned
of our society were conservatives?")
I have a similar question: What would conservatives
say if a truly
overwhelming majority of the press identified
themselves as conservatives?
I think they would say, "The people who study
politics and see it first-hand
come to the conclusion that conservatism is good.
The more you know
aboutpolitics, the more you respect Republicanism."
I have a neighbor who claims (PigBoy says this,
too) that a poll conducted
a few years ago found that 97% of the Washington
press voted for Clinton.
Isit really possible that 97% of the people who
see the process firsthand,
and study it for a living, and understand history,
choose Clinton?
JC
JC, not exactly.
First of all, the figure they used was 89 percent.
That sounds to me like someone very unscientifically asked nine media
people what their political affiliation was, and eight of them claimed
to be
liberal so they ended up with 8/9, which is 89 percent.
How do we know this is a lie?
A few dozen issues back, I listed a shitload (that term is applicable)
of on-camera personalities that were obviously rapid Clinton-haters.
I think the final number was 22
So, do the math again.
Eight times more liberals are on on-air than conservatives?
Horseshit!
Name 'em.
I named 22, so they must name 176 on-camera Clinton lovers.
I've got my wallet out.
I'm calling their bluff.
Nobody can name 176 on-camera people partial to Clinton.
See?
They're lying.
The math just isn't there.
It's just more bullshit from Rush and the whores at Fox News.
Headline from CNN.com/Election/2000
Ralph Nader could pose a threat from the left to Gore
Green Party presidential candidate Ralph
Nader
spells potential trouble for Vice President
Al Gore.
Oh, cut it out - he does not.
Well, maybe, depending on what the meaning of potential
is.
I mean, I have the potential to play drums for Metallica
next year,
but I don't see any headlines being written about it.
I like Ralph Nader alright, but he's not even a pimple on Bradley's
butt,
and we all saw what Gore did to Bradley.
The media is very, very bored.
Meanwhile, all is going according to plan in the Gore camp.
Right now, Gore doesn't want to be the front-runner.
Hillary in New York is, barely, and they say that's a disadvantage.
Gore need to take my advice and hibernate for a few weeks.
Let Smirk made some headlines, and some gaffs.
Relax, Al.
Rent some movies, call some old friends.
Just run the ball and watch the clock.
All the sane pundits say this is Gore's election to lose.
According to the plan, Smirk stays ahead by 6-8 points
until the Republicans go into their Hate Convention in Philadelphia.
Then, the Gore hit squad sits in their Washington hotel rooms
and decide which bombs to drop first.
Will they even let Smirk get to the convention?
Or will they wait until after the convention, after
the GOP spends millions
on their slick "Vote Smirk 2000" posters, and then drop
the bomb?
Or will they drop a small one, then wait a week and drop a bigger
one,
then wait a week and drop a bigger one?
ha ha
Yo, Smirk!
Quick!
Where's Canada?
ha ha
What'll you think they drop on him first?
His secret Margarita and their not-so-little-anymore Habanero?
Or will they release the Funeralgate memo?
Or will it be the mugshot from his DWI bust?
ha ha
I'll have that on my front page for weeks!
You know what'd be cool?
If the charges don't seem to be making waves, the Democrats
could end up releasing everything they have on Smirk!
Memo to McCain: Keep your powder dry!
More Guns, Less Education
Gun Sales on the Net
MONTCLAIR, N.J. –– The name on the parcel--"Clint's
Gun Distributors"
--piqued the curiosity of a UPS driver familiar
with the modest, residential street.
The contents required an adult's signature, also
odd for a
town heavy with Gateway and Victoria's Secret
orders.
When a teenage boy said no adult was home, the
driver took the package
and his suspicions to his supervisor, who notified
the sender and
federal authorities.
Last week, those authorities raided the home,
uncovering an alleged
scheme in which two juveniles bought four semiautomatic
handguns on the
Internet without triggering a single federal
background check,
fingerprint request or other safety procedure.
The suspects, both 17-year-old boys who allegedly
bought four more
handguns on the street, passed themselves off
as licensed gun dealers
using forged federal firearms licenses made with
computer graphics
software, according to Montclair Police Chief
Tom Russo. They used
fictitious business names, including Clint's
Gun Distributors, police said.
More Gun Laws?
Who Needs More Gun Laws?
Quotes from Last Century
"It tasted like lead. It was like an electrical charge
was running through the fillings in my teeth."
-- Paul Tibbets, tasting the bomb he dropped on Hiroshima,
8/6/45.
A controversial shot of Chinaco to Paul Tibbets,
and the rest of the people on the Manhattan team.
Had I been Truman, I would've made the same call.
Mission: Impossible II
-The
Quest for Cash
The reviews on the big, summer blockbuster
are in.
"This ride is wild. Impossible not to love it!"
"Hold on tight, MI-2 will rock your world!"
"A Dynamite action thriller that will blow you away!"
"The perfect adrenaline rush for high
throttle film fans!"
Who gave those rave reviews?
Was is Roger Ebert?
Was it Mike Clark?
Was it Peter Travers?
Was it Leonard Maltin?
.......no...
...those ravishing, gloriously gushing reviews of praise were written by
Richard Reid,
Amy Longsdorf,
Bill Deihl and
Sandie Newton.
If Dick, Amy, Bill and Sandie were the only "big-name" critics
who liked it,
doesn't that tell us that the critics we know and trust
probably hated it?
I haven't seen the movie yet.
Is it any good?
Would it have been better with an actor in the lead role?
Love the Mission Impossible story,
but Tom Cruise is the attraction, and I'm not gay.
Guest Editorial
From: stevem@coinet.com
Subject: The Second Amendment!!!
The NRA is absolutely right.
We must keep the government in line, everyone needs to keep and
bear arms.
Of course if Uncle Sam really wanted to step on you all they
would have to
do is call up some general who in turn would call on a major
who would in turn
call on a captain who would order some wiz kid at such and such
a base to
merely type in the quardence for your front door and bingo, some
general's
plaything would come flying at about Mach 3 and kaboom
- goodbye!
We just have to keep the G-men in line, ya know?
Look how well it worked for Koresh and the guy on Ruby Ridge.
Or the nuts in Montana, they didn't even fire a gun at those
folks,
just starved them out. But by god, ole Tom Jefferson and Johnny
Adams knew
what was what. So In God We Trust and Pass the Ammo, Ma.
The commies are landing in Santa Barbara this very minute and
we all
got to put an end to the're godless souls before they take over
the whole place
and make the demicrats run the country fur 'um.
Long live good ole Rush Limbaugh, the savior of this country,
and all right thinking nazies. Sig Heil, Sig Rush!
SM
Reagan's Legacy
Mail Bag
From: ChrisNoSt@aol.com
Subject: Presidential pardons
Hey Bart
I have a wacky idea for President Clinton - I think that he should
announce that he is issuing a presidential pardon to George H.
W. Bush,
the former president, for any crimes, including treason, that
Poppy may
have committed during his career as a Washington insider, CIA
chief,
Vice-President, and President
Who knows how many ditto-sheep would die of exploding brains?
Either that, or let's string the mf up...
chris
ha ha
Joe Conason on Rick Lazio
Great Indie Quotes
"The vice president I see on TV now -- that ain't the one
I seen at dinner.
The one I seen at dinner is a very intelligent man, animated,
highly emotional.
And yet the one I see on TV is drier than toast.''
-- Jesse the Governor, wishing for a wetter VP Gore.
Great Fund-Raising Quotes
"We're here tonight because of the Shrub,
you know who I'm talking about.
George W. Bush - the W stands for "Where
the Hell is it?"
You know, you look at George W. and you
realize some men are born great,
some achieve greatness, and some get it
as a graduation gift.
So sad.
I just want to ask the Secret Service,
is it true that his Secret Service code
name is Gilligan?"
--Robin Williams
From: duhboid@hotmail.com
Subject: Wal-mart
Bartcop:
You are all wrong about the Wal-mart fiction.
The truth is that all of those
Texas gun slingers would have tucked tail
and run out the door by the time
the balloon carcass hit the floor. Talking
about shooting someone that is
shooting back is easier than actually doing
it.
The real story is that several kids across
this country right now
are playing with daddy's gun that he had
hidden in a drawer.
A few will not be around to put it back.
Dozens of spurned wives are sitting in a
car across from a sleazy hotel
waiting for her sorry husband to step out.
The only question is who gets the toe tag.
Hundreds of friends are sitting down for
a night of whiskey and loosing cards.
Many will not see the morning.
All during this time, not a single criminal will be shot by his victim.
Duhboid
p.s. On second thought, maybe we
should provide guns and marksmanship
training to GOP wives. There would be a
lot less Newts, Barrs, etc. running
around on their wives.
p.p.s. The NRA just opened a branch office in Florida.
If I was Smarter,
I Could've Written This
From: Dave.Hardison@co.orange.fl.us
Subject: The Latest
Sweet baby Jesus.
The Republicans are so completely out of
ammunition that the only crap
they can hang on Clinton is that he doesn't
buckle up during takeoff?
What could be next?
Eleven items in the express lane?
Wearing white after Labor Day?
I once heard Clinton say "epigram" when
he meant to say "epigraph".
Maybe they can impeach him for that.
ha ha
The NRA always gives examples of people
successfully defending their home
with handguns. The problem with that is
the stats: You are 30% more likely
to shoot your dog than an intruder. You
are about 40% more likely to have
the gun taken away from you, and 50% more
likely to shoot yourself.
In the long run, it is more than twice as
likely that your gun will injure
someone accidentally than it will ever
be used to defend your home.
That argument is so seriously flawed that
the NRA always goes to their
backup argument. People need to have guns
to protect themselves from the
government. People sympathize with this
argument emotionally because they
watch so much television. TV is full of
examples of people who fight against
the government, enter the occasional shootout,
and somehow never get arrested.
In the real world, this does not ever, ever happen.
If the cops come to your
door,
for any reason,
do not shoot at them.
They have a million more where that cop
came from, and the next one you
meet will be a little testy about the gun
thing.
ha ha
I challenge the NRA to give me any example
where anyone has ever
gotten OUT of trouble by shooting at representatives
of the government.
(Damn, I wish I'd written that)
Face it. If the government comes to take
your gun away,
you are up shit creek whether you have
a gun on you or not.
Actually you are better off if you don't
have a gun. If the fisherman
(actually janitor) at Elian's house in
Miami had been carrying a gun when
the feds came in, he would be dead today,
instead of looking forward to his
lawsuit. But at least the NRA would be
happy. Happy you ask? Of
course. Because before they left, the federal
marshals would have pried
the gun out of his cold, dead fingers.
ha ha
Good letter, Dave!
Send more like that!
Or start a newsletter so I can subscribe.
Smirk says we're going to have to rebuild our military "from the ground up."
Besides that nutty anti-missle "Star Wars" project,
can you think of anything more expensive than rebuilding
the military?
What'll it cost, Smirk, what'll it cost?
Can you tell us BEFORE the election?
By the way, who's money is that?
If it's our money, like Rush says, shouldn't WE have a say in
deciding?
What'll it cost, Smirk, what'll it cost?
Uh-Oh, what if Smirk has friends in the military industrial complex?
We've seen what happens when Smirk has friends who pollute,
when Smirk has friends in the NRA,
when Smirk has friends in the funeral industry,
when Smirk has friends in the Coat-Hanger Coalition.
Good God, that "rebuild from the ground up" sounds expensive!
What'll it cost, Smirk, what'll it cost?
Can you do it without a tax increase, Smirk?
Can you do it AND give us that huge tax cut?
Can you do all that AND continue to cut the deficit?
What'll it cost, Smirk, what'll it cost?
Great Pigboy Quotes
"Every move Bill Clinton has made since
he's been president has ONLY
been to make himself look good. He has
NEVER done anything for this country,
it's only what's best for Bill Clinton,
and he doesn't care who he has to step on,
he doesn't care who he has to destroy to
do it, it's just all about Bill Clinton."
Wow!
Rush, do you mean that this unprecedented peace and prosperity
is an accident?
Clinton was only trying to glorify himself, and this was the
unintended by-product?
You mean that Clinton, without evern trying, has been a better
president
than Reagan or Butch who certainly WERE trying their very, very
best?
So, what if we were to get out of Bill Clinton's way?
What if we gave him carte blanche to change whatever he
wanted?
If he can do this much good accidentally, without even
trying,
think how good he could do if he put his mind to it?
Rush is always right!
It's been a long time since that nutcase shot up Luby's in Lubbock, was it?
Remember what happened?
A typical NRA gun loon had a bad day, so he loaded his guns,
jumped in
his Ford F-150 and drove to the mall. He located the Luby's
cafeteria
and drove towards the giant window and crashed through it.
Then he started executing innocent people, one after the other.
But,
What if he'd been armed with a knife or a baseball bat?
That's what the NRA says when someone tries to make guns less
ubiquitous.
They say, "But why? You can kill with a kitchen knife or a baseball
bat."
But if the loon had only been armed with a butter knife or a Louisville
slugger,
he would've probably been disarmed without any loss of life.
But nooooooooooooooooooo.
He did just what the NRA recommended.
He got the fastest-loading semi-automatic handguns he could afford.
Since he could re-load both guns in the blink of an eye,
there was no chance for anyone to grab him
If he'd had a regular Smith & Wesson .357 revolver,
he would've been easy to grab during the reload.
But noooooooooooooooooo.
Since he was well-armed, Smirk signed legislation so the other
citizens
of Texas would have a chance in the big gun battles.
So,
Suppose the NRA loon had been armed with twin Mac-10 machine guns,
equipt to fire armor-piercing bullets, wouldn't it make sense
for Smirk to sign
legislation for every Texan to carry twin Mac-10's with armor-piercing
bullets?
Of course it would!
Otherwise, the innocent people at Luby's would be at a disadvantage,
right?
Since Smirk is on his knees,
bobbing his head up and down on Pepe La Pierre's six-inch barrel,
the NRA will get any legislation they want from Smirk.
He's their boy - he does what he's told.
They own Smirk - lock, stock and barrel.
You don't think they're giving Smirk millions because they want
him
to make a fair and impartial decision on guns, do you?
From: purpleACID@rocketmail.com
Subject: moron
What part of "to keep and bear arms" do you not understand...
I understand the "well-regulated militia" part
To bear arms means on your physical self...
Thanks for clearing that up.
I always thought that meant we should arm
grizzly bears.
I dont understand how people like you who
have probably never
seen a gun in real life, let alone fired
one, understand that guns
are safe when handled properly...
I saw a picture of a gun on the news once.
It was in the hand of a six-year old, standing
over a dead girl.
Ive been around guns my entire life...
My father taught us children that guns
are not toys but weapons...
Proper education is the key to firearm
safety...
Would you say you're at least as educated
about guns
as you are the laws of punctuation?
Not mandatory locks...
Take that up with Governor Smirk - not me.
Not more gun laws that will not be enforced...
Take that up with the Republican governors.
I have no authority to enforce state laws.
Much like of what is wrong with America
these days,
its the parent's responsibility to teach
common sense...
Did you know each time you say, "Where were
the parents?"
a dead child crawls out of the grave and
re-joins his family?
Not the clusterfuck we refer to a government in Washington right now...
My, my.
I thought only small minds used cursewords.
Harry Cox
Wait, I'm getting common-sense gun advice from a guy with
"harry cox" using the nickname "purple acid?"
ha ha
My I.Q. just shot up ten points.
Celebrity Mail
From: ekf@hrb.com
Subject: Sorry, Drudge
PRESIDENT REFUSES SEATBELT DURING TAKEOFF
It's an Air Force One tradition that the piloting be so expert
that
NOBODY (except the greenest of first-timers) wears a seatbelt
under
normal conditions. But Matt wouldn't know that, as he's never
been
invited to ride along, and probably never will be.
Maybe if he ever checked his facts, he'd avoid embarrassing himself
this way.
He could ask former speechwriter Peggy Noonan if she (or Saint
Ronald,
"our last great president") ever wore one in non-emergency situations.
Actually, it's all part of that vast left-wing conspiracy.
Clinton is planning to die in an airborne accident, so Gore can
assume the
Presidency and have the advantage of incumbency, come Election
Day.
Eliot
I'm on Smirk's mailing list.
That idiot sent me some wild-ass 1.2 Meg e-mail.
Anyone else on that list?
Any idea what that idiot sent me?
Professor BartCop
From: kevinf216@netscape.net
Follow Up
We are not in disagreement here, and in
the context of your reply, we are both
correct. However, we are discussing two
different realms. You are talking
about where the two parties place blame
and credit in the political arena,
while I am talking about the forces that
actually create the economic cycle.
Politics are not my area of expertise, but
by it's very nature, the two sides
will always (attempt to) place blame on
the other party and take credit for
themselves. Don't buy it! It is easy to
look at a healthy economy and then
look for a figurehead to attribute it to,
but don't do it!!! Learn about the
economic forces (Luke) and see for yourself!
It is irresponsible to say that
Clinton is responsible for economic expansion,
because the truth is that it is
not within his power to bring it about.
To use the basketball/luck analogy,
you can tie Jordan's kickass performance
to winning Bull seasons by looking at
his stats, but how can you tie Clinton
with the burgeoning economy? The best
one could do is to give him credit for
great timing to come into power as the
cycle was coming into upswing.
True, the standing President will get the
blame/credit from the majority of
the public, but only because most people
don't understand economics.
Kevin
Kevin,
If I was smarter, I could answer you intelligently. :)
But let me try, using my I.Q. of 64
Clinton submits a budget.
He negotiates spending limits.
He appoints the chairman of the fed.
He raises the minimum wage.
He avoids wars which cause economic slowdowns.
He signs economics treaties with other countries.
He bestowes MFN status on certain countries.
He vetoes some military spending, encourages others.
To say that the guy driving the boat isn't in charge is wrong.
No matter how you slice it, somebody is in charge.
You might say it's Bill Gates, or the boss at GM, or US Steel,
but decisions are being made daily, and the top dog gets
the credit or the blame.
It can't be a coincidence that we did so poorly under Reagan/Butch
and are doing so well under the Peace and Prosperity President.
Wish I'd Thought of That
From: Paulwetor@aol.com
Subject: Concealed Handguns
If being armed all the time is such a good idea, how come cops
get shot?
Because criminals presume them to be armed, and shoot first.
Paul Wetor
From: skisics@yahoo.com
Subject: Second amendment issues
The argument I keep seeing from supporters of the second amendment
is that 'the people' need to arm themselves, just in case the
government
tries to use force. Here is something to consider.
The law abiding citizen has his handgun, but the government agents
have
automatic weapons. Therefore, it's only natural that the law
abiding citizen
should have automatic weapons. Just to keep up.
But, the government has access to APCs and tanks.
Logically then, law abiding citizens would need TOW launchers
or other
anti-tank weapons, in order to defend themselves. The government
also
has access to jet aircraft, armed with smart bombs. So, naturally,
the
law abiding citizen, to keep up, should have a SAM battery or
two.
Or maybe just a few stingers around (they might be able to purchase
them from the Iranians...I here they were able to acquire a few).
But of course, the government also has access to chem/bio/nuclear
weapons.
Shouldn't the law abiding citizens also have access to them?
Think about it.
The government has law abiding citizens out-gunned.
So the argument is false.
A careful reading of not only the constitution, but the federalist
papers and
constitutional debate notes shows what the intent of the founding
fathers
was on the issue of the second amendment. The founding fathers
were very
afraid of a large standing army, maintained by the federal government.
This could lead to tyranny, as it had many times in their
past.
So, it follows that the second amendment supporters should be
advocating
the disbanding of a large federal army, controlled by Washington.
Each state would rely on state militias...
which are now the National Guard.. for defence against foriegn
aggression.
This would truly be what the founding fathers had in mind.
Just my thoughts.
skisics surus
Question of the Day
If carrying concealed weapons lowers crime and saves lives,
why are policemen everywhere so adamantly against it?
Great Pigboy Quotes
"New Yorkers should vote for Lazio, because
the name of the game is
seeing how much money you can bring home
from government programs."
But Pigboy, Lazio would mean more federal spending?
And you say that's the name of the game?
Sounds like a good reason to vote Democrat!
More Great Pigboy Quotes
"Al Gore is so strange, he sees God in nature."
ha ha
Geez, Your Porkness.
If God was going to be anywhere, it'd be in nature, you
nut!
Feedback
From: timothyd@mindspring.com
Subject: A little common sense goes a long way
Yo, Bartcop,
How about using just a little bit more of
that mass of tissue in your cranium,
instead of just reacting like, well, a
right-wing reactionary nut case?
Your "Wal-Mart" scenario, though I'm sure
very entertaining for those
with the educational level of, say Rosie
O'Donnell, is just that - entertainment.
I could give you a million "what ifs" to
"prove" that anything I don't like
should be licensed, regulated, banned or
confiscated.
Tim, I don't believe you can.
You think you can give me a "million" scenarios
more dangerous than
80 untrained people in a panic, ready and
willing to use their guns?
I doubt you could give me three.
There wasn't any balloon incident such as
you described, but there
really was a Luby's incident, and had the
law that the governor signed
been in effect then, at least one person
who survived the incident, by
her own account, could have stopped the
CRIMINALS from continuing their
rampage. But HER weapon was stored "safely"
away in the glove
compartment of her truck. She had to hide
while the killing went on.
Timothy David
True, there was a shootout at Luby's, and that "survivor" has
managed
to turn her parent's murders into a career in politics.
How tidy.
How Hollywood.
How much did she get for the book rights?
Will Merryl Streep play her? Or Sally Field?
Wanna bet she speaks at the convention in Philadelphia?
Tell me, in youir lifetime, has there been an instance in America
when an armed citizen has stopped a public killing spree?
In the Luby's scenario, what if someone in the mall, with a gun,
came running when they heard the shooting and accidentally
shot the woman who was trying to protect her parents?
If you were the foreman of that jury, what say you?
I know you don't know me, but I carry a gun, myself.
Not inside stores and stadiums, but it's always nearby.
I just don't think we need 80 Wal-Mart shoppers "helping out"
in a panic when they have no idea what the situation is.
ha ha
Rush is predicting Hillary is "so scared" of Rick Lazio,
that there's "still time for her to pull out."
But Pigboy,
It was YOUR GUY who got caught with his goomah.
It was YOUR GUY who got scared and ran.
It was YOUR GUY who decided he didn't have a chance.
...so Hillary should get out of the race?
ha ha
First thing I heard on my car radio today was some whackjob preacher.
"America is wealthier than we've ever been, sure,
but we've fallen so far spiritually."
Give me a fucking break.
Clinton gave us everything we could ask for from a president,
but all we can do now is whine about it?
That's how Smirk plans to win the election?
He wants to bring America's morality back?
One reason we have time to worry about morality is because
Clinton fixed so many things that were broke, we're bored to
death!
How do you think they found time for that kangaroo impeachment?
The religio-wackos think we've fallen on bad times?
Tell me, were we in a spiritual decline when Reagan was in charge?
No?
Was it because we were in a goddamn recession?
Is that the answer?
America's spirituality is better off under fire?
America's spirituality is better off when families are driving
out
to Andrews Air Force Base to claim their son's body?
That makes America strong?
That's horseshit!
America was better off with Reagan's war and recession than we
are
under Clinton's peace and prosperity?
I think what these nutty preachers are really saying is,
"Now that you've got the bucks, can I have a raise?"
Maybe it's time we all re-assess the amount we tithe, is that
it?
By any measureable means, Clinton has been the best president
in 100 years.
The GOP claims there's a "moral decline," because you can't
measure that.
They can claim military morale is low, because you can't measure
that.
They say our kids are growing up "funny," because you can't
measure that.
When our marines were dying in Lebanon,
when our troops were invading Grenada,
when Butch turned on his good friend Manuel Noriega
and invaded the tiny nation of Panama,
when Butch bungled the Iraqi situation and exposed thousands
of men to Gulf War Syndrome, our children were growing up just
fine?
When the stock market was at 3500,
when unemployment was at 8 percent,
when black unemployment was at 24 percent,
when new housing starts were at a 40-year low,
our children were growing up just fine?
When dad was laid off from his job,
when dad was slapping mom around from frustration,
when Gramps had to move in because are car got repo'd,
when the stock market was crashing in 1987,
our children were growing up just fine?
That's horseshit!
We've never had it better than we have it right now.
Thank you, Mr. President.
...and if the Republicans hadn't used scare-tactics to get people
to
run away from Clinton's proposal to re-vamp health care,
he would've fixed that, too and you know what they say:
When you have your health, you have everything.
Clinton was thisclose to giving us everything,
but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
The same Cro-Mags who said Clinton would ruin the economy
said that he would ruin health care if we let him try to fix it,
but don't worry - our children had spirituality then, right?
That's all horseshit - and the voters know it.
Will the Scandals Ever
Stop?
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX THURSDAY MAY 25, 2000
PRESIDENT REFUSES SEATBELT DURING TAKEOFF
**Exclusive**
ha ha
Matt, you must be very proud...
Have you heard from your parents yet?
ha ha
President Clinton stunned
reporters on Thursday evening when he
refused to wear his seatbelt
during takeoff aboard Air Force One,
in direct violation of
federal law!
That's an impeachable offense, right Matt?
ha ha
One reporter tells the DRUDGE REPORT that
as the rest of the plane's
occupants were strapped in during takeoff,
the president was
stretched over a tabletop conducting
a press interview.
"He was not wearing a seatbelt,"
said the source. "He was oblivious,
just talking away, as the plane took off.
Clearly
it was a dangerous situation.
We were lucky there was no turbulence during
takeoff."
The president was politely reminded that
he must wear a seatbelt, the
DRUDGE REPORT has learned, but
Clinton refused.
What a daredevil!
He's another Robbie Knievil!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Filed by Matt Drudge
Reports are moved when circumstances warrant
http://www.drudgereport.com
for updates
(c)DRUDGE REPORT 2000
Not for reproduction without permission
of the author
Oh, just blow me.
More mail
From: srusten <srusten@email.msn.com>
Subject: You stinking Nazi Liberals....
You stinking Liberals just don't appreciate our American way
of life where the Constitution allows us impotent old White men
to get off
fondling a hard steel erection of such power it can stop a goddamn
Hippo in
its tracks at 30 feet away. Our foreskins fought the goddamn
Limeys and them
damn Redskins to carve this here Democracy out of the wildness
and they did it
thanks to Frederick Remington...oh excuse me, he was the Typewriter
guy...oh
yes of course it was Mr. Winchester and Mr. Colt...thanks to
those two fine
gentlemen we were able to kill all those damn injuns and I mean
women and
children as well as them Bucks.
Yeah, those were the real good old days as I have played them
in my many
western roles...me and my good buddie Ron Reagan, we fought them
redskins
and the outlaws and we killed em dead with our Long Rifles and
our Six Shooters,
and it's thanks to us that you damn Liberals got the democracy
you got where
you can go on existing and not get murdered like you should be,
with all your
damn Traitor Commie Foreigner ass licking high faluting intelligentsia
decadence...
this country was founded by STUPID folks like me and them Potato
Farmers
from Ireland and Germany and since we was the ones who built
this country
it seems to me that we got the right to have it like WE want
it...and what we want
is a Two Fisted Texas Ranger like good old Georgie Bush Junior
to be our President...
Anyway, it's a free country and as long as you just SHUT UP and
don't try to
PUSH your damn Liberal perversion on us you can go on living
your sick useless lives...
but DON'T screw with an American's right to own a GUN and especially
when it's
an old actor like me whose dick don't work so good no more...I
got a right to have
some pleasure in my own damn country...I mean in case you've
forgotten,
I not only played Two Fisted Sheriffs and Cowboys and all that,
I even played MOSES and GOD...
Charlatan Heston
VCR Alert
Sunday on Meet the Whore - Carville and Matalin
Paul Harvey 
told
a story about Carville and Matalin.
He said last time they were on Meet the Whore, they argued like
always,
but the argument continued after the show and during the ride
home.
James was speeding, and a cop pulled them over.
Carville was still fuming about something, so he gave the cop
some shit.
The cop, (don't know if he recognized them or not) leaned in
to mary
and asked if james was always this argumentative and she said,
"Only when he's been drinking, officer."
From: nplains@huntel.net
Subject:
the first thing ignorant assholes like you
must remember is that law abiding
gun carring citizens are not as ignorant
as you and your clintonistas.
look at the facts ass hole. lawabiding citizens
are not the problem here,
but that is all your ignorant gun control
laws has any effect on.
but then what do you the media and the
clintonistas care about facts?
nplains
Finally...
From: BigDogInAU@aol.com
Subject: Guns, Religion and the South
This is in response to your hypothetical
Walmart situation.
I'm curious, have you ever actually heard
what a gunshot sounds like?
I can assure you from personal experiences
that a gunshot sounds nothing
like a balloon being popping. It's not
nearly as loud and deafening.
You'll just have to trust this southern
born and bred idiot on this one.
Lord knows (assuming of course that there
is One) that I should know
because I'm a knuckle-dragging Cro-Magnon
from the "undeveloped
farm state of Georgia."
And what's even worse is that I currently
reside in "Massabama" where all
they do here is get drunk and intermarry.
Fortunately for me, I attend a
well respected university so that I can
one day become a bleeding heart
liberal like yourself.
As for these "ghosts" you keep referring
to, I hope that for your sake,
and many other people around the world,
that they don't exist, and that they
are just made up. Because if they're not,
then my friend, you're screwed.
And just in case you hadn't guessed, I
do believe in those "ghosts." I
suppose you can blame that on my "backward"
upbringing here in the armpit of
America. Of course, this is all just my
humble and stupid southern opinion.
signed,
BigDog
Getting dumber by the minute
Big Dog, so far, you're the only one with a sense of humor.
Thanks for writing,
bc
From: C1MANNY@US.IBM.COM
Subject: reply
From my cold dead hands, too!
The way you want it asshole.
IBM Employee
From: Amra@adelphia.net
Subject: rebuttal
What you wrote in the
daily dirt makes you sound as big an idiot
as the people you made up. In all the years
that handguns have been
around NEVER has anything like this
ever happened.
So why don't you go suck on lollipop and
use that imagination to
write some good childrens books. You certinly
don't give your fellow man
any credit. Yes people make mistakes but
the scenario you played out is
so stupid at first I thought you were joking!
So please stick to something you know.
Myself if I were you I'd do the children's
books.
Amra
Monkey Mail Like in the Old Days
From: AGKAC@mcleodusa.net
Subject: a coward
well you are a full blown liberal you still
think clinton turn our country
around but it was the people not washington
also you have a nice piece
on guns well let try this elect goofy gore
then when we all loose our
guns then your setting in your home and
your door comes down your
wife gets raped you sit there crying but
clinton and gore said this
wouldn't happen iam sure they will leave
wake up you are so in the
dark .also if we dont have guns how can
we protect our country from
china because it is clear nether party
is with out china money in there pockets.
paul dye
Paul, I agree.
You have convinced me.
I will now become a ditto-spank.
bc
From: chuck@needmemory.com
Subject: Hand guns
I suspect from your name that you are a
Bartcop. Therefore that
explains your stand on the public having
concealed hand guns. I read
your fairy tale on The
Daily Dirt and I must say, what a crock of shit.
I think it is great that the public carries
guns and I back it all the
way. I am sorry if it hurts your Ego that
you are not the only one
carrying a gun but that is life. It is
hard to commit a armed robbery
when everyone is a potential carrier. You
just can not cover that many
people. Most police will side with you
because how can they keep the
people scared if everyone is an equal.
The fact is that they can not.
So they want everyone to turn in their guns
so that only the police and the
criminals are carrying. Where does that
leave the public? In the hands of
the police and we all know how that turned
out for guys like Rodney King.
We in Texas do not go around shooting everyone
just because we hear a
noise and to think that we would only shows
that you are a mental midget.
"Put the gun down and step back" If any
one should not be carrying a gun
it should be you. You are the kind of person
that would start shooting at the
drop of a hat or popping of a balloon.
So for now just make sure that the
people you watch pay the fair and keep
the gun unloaded.
Chuck Cooper
Dallas, Texas
Chuck,
Your first sentence was flawed.
I'm an Oklahoma cowboy, not a policeman in San Francisco.
But I am impressed that, from your mistaken assumption,
you could determine I'm the type that would shoot at the drop
of a hat.
Let me guess: You're voting for your governor, right?
Sincerely,
The Mental Midget
Feedback
From: kevinf216@netscape.net
Subject: Accomplishments
I found your via a link from the Daily
Dirt. Regarding the list of
achievements by President Clinton, I am
compelled to comment on some of
economic expansion facts. Presidents have
little effect with regard to economic
expansion. The best thing they can do is
stay out of the way. The single
most powerful tool a government has, the
Federal Funds Rate, is controlled by
the Federal Reserve Bank, which has no
loyalty to the Executive Office or any
other branch, only to the stability of
the economy. Economic expansion is
created by advancements in technology,
increased productivity of the
workforce, developing economies becoming
larger trading partners;
macro issues like these drive expansion,
the government does not.
So basically, Clinton has not revived the
economy, delivered the longest
expansion in history, or created new jobs,.
Kudos to him for driving for a
balanced/surplus budget, but this was made
possible by the increased revenue
from the booming economy.
I welcome any comments you have.
Kevin
Kevin, let me begin by saying I don't have a doctorate in economics.
However, those who do disagree constantly, so maybe it doesn't
matter.
The GOP guaranteed America that if Clinton became president,
America would stumble into the worst recession of all time.
Since the opposite has happened, they have changed their tune.
First, they said this boom wasn't real.
When the boom persisted, they changed their tune.
Now they claim this is Reagan's recovery.
Maybe Clinton is "just lucky," I'm not sure.
I'm sure a solid argument could be made that Michael Jordon was
not
the most important factor in Chicago winning many basketball
titles,
but the moment he left, the Bulls turned to shit, right?
Maybe only history can judge Clinton's lasting effect on the
economy.
The bottom line is, in political terms, the president gets the
blame
or the credit for the economy. When Jimmy carter was being pummeled
with "The Misery Index," nobody stood up and said it wasn't his
fault.
Thanks for the letter,
bc
Overthrowing Christianity?
From: pwh011s@mail.smsu.edu
Subject: overthrowing Christianity at age 8
Good news--you don't have to wait till after
your dead to have your childhood
religious questions answered! I'm a Christian
with all the answers--just ask.
ha ha
I have a few dozen questions, but..
You're going to have the answers the priests
& nuns didn't have?
OK, I have an easy one for you:
Why couldn't God foresee the Devil's revolution
in Heaven?
And if He did foresee it, why didn't he
stop it?
Why would he give the Devil "free will"
if He knew
the Devil was going to destroy a few thousand/million
saved souls?
That tells me even in Heaven, you have to
watch your back because
somebody is plotting a coup. That's crazy.
That means the dead can't
even rest in peace because they have to
be on the lookout for whoever
thinks they can overthrow God and take
over. It sounds more like an
episode of the Sopranos than "everlasting
life."
And I'd like to hear you explain that Christianity
is one huge money-making
scheme to my father--who took on huge debts
to go to graduate school and
become a pastor and fleece the congregation
out of a wild $18000 a year.
Does your father have his own cable/satellite
show where he begs for money?
Does your father need $12,000,000 a month
to break even?
Did you father lead the Clinton Cock Hunt?
Does your father denounce liberals with
every sermon, but then stay silent
when it's Rudy,
Newt, Barr, Burton, Hyde, Livingston or Schlessinger?
Does your dog have a $2,000 air-conditioned
dog house?
Does your father pay for cheap Louisiana
prostitutes?
Does you father sell vidoes with "proof"
of the Clinton "murders?"
Has your father always been celibate?
Does your father claim people will burn
for eternity for eating a hot dog?
Does your father have a billion-dollars
art collection?
Is your father on TV every week lying?
Perhaps it's not your father I speak of...
He sounds like a sincere and decent man.
I have no problem with sincerity.
It's the whores that piss me off.
Hmm--maybe it's possible to worship God without being a whore
Don't forget, the foundation of BartCopism
is freedom of religion.
I wouldn't want to take your religion away
unless it involved snake-handling
or money-grubbing or scaring the sick and
the old into giving up money.
Take the money and the snakes and the hypocrisy
out of religion
and you have no problems with me.
...and Jesus is a liberal.
Steve
That goes without saying.
If Jesus walked the Earth today, Rush would
use his baby-talk voice
to ridicule him "and all his compassion"
like he does all liberals.
If I was king, you'd be freee to worship
anyone/anything you like.
If Falwell, Robertson etc ruled, there'd
be one true faith,
and penalties for the "unbelievers."
Is This Any Way to Pick A Winner?
By Robert G. Kaiser
Washington Post
So how exactly did Al Gore win the election of 2000?
By making the clever decision to run in the midst of an economic boom,
and by choosing to succeed a popular incumbent.
You didn't realize that Gore has won the election? A technicality.
According to half a dozen political scientists who have honed and polished
the art of election forecasting, the die is all but cast. Today, with
165 days
left before Americans go to the polls, they are saying Gore will win
53 to 60 percent of the vote cast for him and George W. Bush.
"It's not even going to be close," said Michael Lewis-Beck of the University
of Iowa,
who foresees Gore winning 56.2 percent of the two-party vote.
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