For a good time, click on the Smirk
Thanks to: joan howard
Fun, True Quotes
by Lars Eric Nelson, NYW Times
To most people, high gasoline prices are
a problem.
To George W. and many of his Republican
colleagues, they're a solution.
Cheap gas hurts the American domestic oil
industry.
(Correction - Cheap gas destroys domestic oil)
Higher gas prices fatten the wallets of
Texas contributors who have
already given the younger Bush $14.5 million
to run for President.
In 1986, Bush's father, then-Vice President
George Bush, flew hastily
to Saudi Arabia to halt what he described
as a "free fall" in oil prices.
In 1986, oil dropped to $9 a barrel, W Bush
owed $2 million to banks, with little oil coming in.
In this nerve-racking year, 1986, Bush
stopped drinking and started taking Bible classes.
ha ha
(When in trouble, the weak always
run to the invisible ghosts for help.)
Last year, World Oil magazine complained
that oil prices had again collapsed and predicted that
Bush would be the "perfect individual to
lead the charge in doing something about the price of oil,
" i.e., raise it.
Now, oil industry profits are up 500%.
Bush has already raised $1.5 million from the oil industry
and now, oil industry executives will have
even more money to contribute to him.
Republicans will blame Democratic-backed
clean air regulations, ethanol and Clinton's 4.3-cent
increase in the gas tax. But as they do,
you can hear them laughing all the way to the bank.
NRA Opens Branch in Florida
(Reuters) - A man is holding his 4-year-old son and a food service
worker hostage in a
room at a Disney World hotel on Thursday, demanding to see his
estranged wife, police said.
Sgt. Bernie Presha said the man was believed to be armed but did
not say what the weapon was.
A police SWAT team at the Boardwalk hotel was trying to negotiate
a surrender, he said.
Presha said. ``He indicated to a hotel clerk that he did
have a weapon.''
"The World's Happiest Place isn't so happy right now." said Presha.
Hometown Mail
Subject: Good Tithings
From: Joankitty@aol.com
Bartcop,
Have you ever visited Hope Unitarian church on
south Sheridan?
I'd be nterested to know your thoughts on that
church's tithing recommendations.
Each week when the plate is passed, it goes directly
to the day center for
the homeless (or it did a couple of years ago.)
My husband and I were members and the thing I
miss most is the pastor, Gary Blaine.
There was never a sermon where he didn't tear
my heart out.
Even more impressive is the fact that he actually
used the word, "fuck" in the pulpit.
Keep on eating that frozen custard!
Joankitty (fellow k-dragger)
ha ha
A church that helps the poor?
Is this a gag?
Is that you, Artie?
ha ha
You almost had me for a minute, there.
A pastor using the language that most Americans use?
Why, if he did that, he might actually communicate with people.
Not-so Great Survivor Quotes
"A Bible? What the hell did he bring
that
for?
I mean, I'm religious, but the only
reason I'd bring
a bible to this island would be to
wipe my ass."
-- The old coot on CBS's most popular show,
David Nyhan of the Boston
Globe
has become one of my favorite writers.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"The Democrats say free prescription drugs
for the elderly is "important,"
but why now? Why didn't they bring
this up 20 years ago?"
-- Hitler's Dog, just now.
Duh!
The elderly couldn't afford their medicine when Reagan
was president!
Twenty years ago, we didn't have Clinton's trillion dollar surplus!
It took the Clinton Miracle to make it possible.
This Just In...
From the Drudge Report
Drudge has done the Democrats a favor and listed Keating's negatives.
(If you're reading this from top to bottom, Drudge says Smirk
has picked
OK Gov Frank Keating (R-State Joke) for his VP. See below)
Keating negatives:
*He's Catholic
(Just kidding, that was mine. All the rest are real)
*He urged Mr. Bush to completely answer questions
about past drug use.
(ha ha Honesty
in politics? Get the fuck outta here!)
*Keating is known for his sharp public comments
that have angered teachers,
Democrats, fellow Catholics and even
his own wife. His solution for dealing
with the state teachers union? "Homicide,"
he quipped.
His take on a school shooting at Fort
Gibson, Okla.?
"A call to arms."
(These last two aren't a problem.
In Oklahoma, teachers are seen as lower than snakeshit and
guns are thought to be as important here as declining an education.)
One factor has apparently knocked Pennsylvania
Gov. Tom Ridge out of the running:
His physical presence! Ridge is too
physically large.
(Too physically large?
ha ha Who wrote that non-sentence?)
Standing next to Bush, he may appear "overbearing,"
says a source.
ha ha
Kevin Cunningham had that scoop a week ago!
Way to go, Kevin!
Bush advisers now believe, based on internal
polling data, that McCain
is not needed to secure independent voters.
Bush may announce his running mate before the
Republican convention in
Philadelphia to thwart any possible McCain
momentum.
ha ha
Smirk is still worried about McCain?
Mr. Media Outlet Owner, you need me in Philly to cover this!
Hire BartCop - do it today!
When the "astounding and unexpected bombshell" hits that Smirk is dropping
out,
you can claim you hired the lone pundit who predicted it a year
ago.
This is the very first mention of of it, but I, BartCop, your Ediotr,
am sitting on a monsterous political bombshell of a story.
I've checked this story out with Joe Conason, with Tamara Baker, with
Voltai29,
with Bushwatch, with Sabutai and local Knuckledrag Democratic higher-ups,
and it's big!
It's bigger than Priceline.com
and I have the exclusive!
This is not a gag.
This story is a monster!
If the Smirk campaign had any goddamn brains, my life would be
in danger,
but they don't so I'm not worried about it.
But...
...if I have to "use the baby" between now and the election,
wanna bet the body has a Texas driver's license in his pants?
I've been sitting on this story since late last year.
I'm waiting for just the right time to drop this bomb.
Conason, Baker, Volt, Bushwatch, Sabutai etc have given me their word
they would not even hint at this story until it breaks here at bartcop.com
It's probably the biggest news story of the 1990's, and I have the exclusive.
It'll break first - right here on bartcop.com
I plan to drop this bomb GOP convention week,
but circumstances sometimes change even the best plans.
From: Leave my name out of it
You wrote:
>The minute the idiot GOP names Smirk as their White-Power nominee,
>audio tapes will surface.
>Photos will surface.
>A marriage license will surface.
>A birth certificate will surface.
>His cocaine mug shot will surface.
>Videotape will surface.
>A woman and her now-teenage son will appear on Larry King,
>and the GOP will ask, "Koresh! How did we get into this mess?"
Remember that Shrub biographer that broke Shrub's
coke bust story?
Remember how his book got buried when his own
record came to light?
Poppy Bush used to run the CIA.
Do you doubt that he knows how to get people
buried too?
Not every Republican is incompetent.
ha ha
Poppy's buddies, the guys who've spent the last
30 years bailing Shrub
out of one screwup after another, have an awful
lot riding on this election.
People with embarrassing info on Smirk have a
nasty habit of turning up dead.
Documents turn up missing. Like Shrub's
Alabama service records.
And his old Texas driver's license. There'll
be more. But none of it incriminating.
Surprisingly, I disagree, and I can show my work.
If there was NO PROOF that Smirk did cocaine, for example,
he would simply deny it in no uncertain terms and that would be that.
But since he refuses to discuss his cocaine use, that proves, to me
anyway,
that he CAN'T deny it because the proof is out there.
WHEN, (not if) Smirk gets caught on the coke charge, he'll say,
"Unlike Clinton, I never lied to you, that's the difference."
Gee, Smirk. There's a difference between the president having sex
and some bonehead playboy who's got a cocaine monkey on his back.
The GOP is betting the next four years that the PROOF will surface after
the election and that Smirk will somehow, be able to ride it out.
Gore is sitting on proof.
The Big Bully Wimps Out
After defiantly vowing to take the No 7 train to Shae Stadium,
John Rocker got a ride to work in a police car, according to ABC news.
In the photo above, you see the yellow bastard being guarded by two
white cops,
so he doesn't get his ass kicked by purple-haired punks or unwed mothers.
It proves all redneck-bullies are yellow, girly-man cowards.
What a pussy.
Here, kitty kitty...
Subject: kids are perceptive
From: skisics@yahoo.com
Bartcop,
Don't ever let anyone tell you kids aren't perceptive.
I usually don't listen to the radio when Rush is on, I work.
But today I had to run out at lunch time and had my daughters with
me.
I turned on Rush, cause I knew he'd be ranting about Elian and needed
to
chuckle. After about 2 minutes, my youngest piped up,
"Hey dad, this guy's annoying."
skisics surus
Is he really gone?
It's hard to believe, isn't it?
Is he really gone?
I mean really, really gone?
These bullshit non-stories have a way of never ending.
To this day, if Tanya harding throws a hubcap at some mook,
it's Page One news in every paper in this whore country.
If OJ has a fight with his newest white girlfriend in a Miami hotel,
it's Page One news in every paper in this whore country.
If Monica runs a red light or has a run in her stocking,
it's Page One news in every paper in this whore country.
There's no way they're gonna let go of this poor bastard.
Diane Sawyer (Click
Here for nude picture) will offer Fidel oral sex
for an exclusive "on-his-native-soil interview" with that poor kid.
Fidel doesn't get many blondes...
Paul Harvey
Whoops, didn't mean to start a stampede.
Koresh knows when a stable full of horses hears the sound of
a zipper or
the name "Paul Harvey," a stampede is almost always the result.
Anyway, this unnamed "PH" fellow just reported another Nazi ambush.
He said Gore answered, "I don't know" or "I don't remember" 85
times
during four hours of FBI questions about fund-raising in 1996.
I guarantee, some of those questions were:
1. What did you have for breakfast June 29, 1996?
2. When you ate breakfast, did you touch the spoon or fork first?
3. What was the first word of the first sentence you used that
day?
4. What was the exact temperature at 6 AM that morning?
5. How many calls did your staffers make to their wives during
your trip to that Buddhist temple in Los Angeles?
Endless questions about nothing, designed to generate non-responsive
answers
so toothless horse molesters like Paul Harvey and the vulgar
Pigboy can get
on their hate shows and say, "See? See how guilty he is? See?"
They always forget that Saint Reagan answered "I don't know" 57
times
when asked, "Why did you sell Stinger missles to Islamic Jihad?"
And that was before cheap-ass ambush questions became the norm in this whore society.
Cunningham keeps getting better all the time!
Y'know, the prayer-in-school debate is probably the easiest win a Democrat
could ever have. It's the most impossible-to-defend horseshit ever,
and still
the GOP thinks it's a winning subject in a presidential campaign.
Take a slut like Dr. Laura.
She's a Jew.
She wants prayers in school, but they won't EVER say Jewish prayers
in school
because the Jews say Christ isn't God, and this ditto-monkey Congress
wants
the US military to force a different religion on us than Judaism.
So why does Laura the Unloved want her precious Derecheeckycehe taught
religion by an oppresive federal government who can't pave fucking
roads?
Beats the hell outta me.
Smirk's plan to get us out of this "Oil Crisis"
Drudge has a good joke up right now.
Drudge says Smirk picked OK Gov. Keating for VP. The headline is:
"Bush ZEROES
in on Keating," which is an excellent choice of words.
Smirk couldn't pick a running mate with more comedy potential
than the
very Catholic governor of Knuckledrag, Frank Keating.
Keating would be a dream come true, assuming Quayle, Barr and
Burton
etc. wouldn't accept a Smirk invitation.
Do I have an example?
Asked earlier this year what would be the best way to handle
the teacher's
union in Oklahoma, Frank suggested one word: "Homicide."
ha ha
I don't really think this idiot wants to murder teachers, it's
just an example
of what wild and crazy things this idiot is likely to say to
a reporter.
Go Keating!
ha ha
There's a woman named Debbie Schlussel who loves Rush.
She thinks ABC made a big mistake in not hiring His Lardship.
To read this woman's rant, you'd think she was unaware that Rush
has already had a TV show, back when he was more popular than
he is now, and it went over like a Bob Dole presidential campaign.
I recommend you read this amusing rant.
Click Here
By the way, it's brought to you by
an abortion clinic.
If you think I'm kidding, Click
Here
Why is http://www.jewishworldreview.com/
home to George Will, Ann Coulter and Dr Laura
brought to you by an abortion clinic?
The O'Reilly Whore
So last night I caught a little bit of Bill O'Reilly on Fox Whore
News.
He was SCREAMING at some low-level, never-heard-of congresswoman
from Connecticut about Clinton's "lack of energy" policy.
He was SCREAMING at her to name one thing "this president" has
done
to ween America off the OPEC teat and make us self-sufficient
on energy.
"Name something he's done - go ahead," and she would start to
speak and
he'd cut her off screaming, "Name the program Clinton proposed."
This poor idiot congresswoman didn't have a clue what to say.
Sensing he had an easy kill, O'Reilly pressed in harder on the
poor woman.
"You can't name a program because he's never proposed one.
This president has done nothing to help America, just
like with everything
he's ever done, if it didn't benefit Bill Clinton personally,
he just didn't bother
with it because all he ever does is think of himself," and on
and on.
She tried to answer again, but he kept screaming and cutting
her off.
Now, let me ask you:
When you're watching this kind of crap on a news program,
do you always have a quick answer for the sons-of-bitches?
Are you like me? Do you throw your shoes at the TV and scream
back?
Sidebar:
Matter of fact, I'm thinking
about a new, interactive process where I tape a
sack-of-shit like O'Reilly
or Hannity and splice my verbal answers in between
their screaming questions
and post the result here. This'll work a lot better as
more people get DSL installed,
because at 56K those audio files can take some
time to download. Maybe I'll
take a test drive soon and see how it works.
I'll do that the next time
I get pissed off, which could be as early as tonight.
So, anyway, that mealy-mouthed freshman congresswoman was terribly
outmatched when the O'Reilly whore started screaming at her again.
I think what O'Reilly needs is someone who'll fight back on his
show.
Sidebar:
I guess it's just "coincidence"
that we don't see people like James Carville or
my good friend Joe
Conason on his show, because Koresh forbid, they might fire back,
and we can't have that if
the ditto-spanks want to retain their false veneer of invincibility.
Maybe someday I'll get lucky enough to get invited on one of those
monkey-spank
shows so I could unload on his bullying ass like he did that
poor congresswoman.
It might go something like this:
"Hey, asshole, why don't you stop screaming and talk to me like
an adult?
You just might learn something if you'd shut the fuck up for
a second.
Clinton hasn't done a goddamn thing about this energy "crisis"
because
it's not worth it. Saudi sweet crude is so goddamn cheap,
we can't afford to
pull our own oil out of the ground. Don't you know that? How'd
you get this job,
and why the fuck are you screaming at me if you don't know that
it costs $20 a
barrel to pull our dirty oil out of the ground. And if oil is
selling for $14 a barrel,
even Texans are smart enough to know they can't make money at
that price.
What are you, ...stupid?"
As the O'Reilly whore started to take a breath to answer, I'd cut him off.
"Let me scream a question at you, Smirk-for-brains.
Why didn't Ronald Reagan
take meaures to combat the giant bumblebee crisis that was terrorizing
our country?
You know why Reagan never took steps to solve the bumblebee crisis?
Because bumblebees were never a fucking problem, that's why,
just like
gas prices haven't been a problem for Clinton. Gas has been so
goddamn cheap
for so goddamn long, we'd be crazy to pump our own oil if it
costs too much.
Don't you know that, Mr. O'Reilly? Are you that bad with numbers.
Mr. O'Reilly?
Can't you put a fucking pencil to paper and add and subtract,
Mr. O'Reilly?"
And when the O'Reilly whore started to speak, I'd cut him off again.
"Look at it this way: For decades, OPEC sold us oil for
about half price,
and you want to know why Clinton hasn't done anything about that?
What the fuck was he supposed to do? Demand that the price of
oil be jacked up
high enough so that Oklahoma and Texas could afford to re-open
their closed wells?
What kind of trickle-down horseshit is that? Sure, you could
double the price of oil,
and keep prices level and consistent, is that what you're proposing
for America?
Would you rather have gas at $2.50 sometimes or
all
the time, smartass?
Christ, O'Reilly, how stupid are you? Who did you blow to get
this job?
And when O'Reilly started to speak, I'd cut his ass off again.
"I don't think you have enough brains to get in the conversation,
Bill,
so why don't you just shut the fuck up and open your ears and
learn something
from a man with an IQ of 64, so the next time you try to bully
some lady on
your lil' hate show you don't make such a goddamn fool of yourself.
Your cheap-ass bullying tactics might score high-ratings with
the ditto-monkeys
who worship Lord Limba, but you don't have the slightest goddamn
clue about
the economics of energy so why don't you just go toss off in
a hat?"
And when O'Reilly finally started to speak,
I'd pull off my microphone and walk off his show.
Fox Whore News isn't about a discussion of the issues.
It's about Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes flooding the air with
horseshit
that can't be defended by anybody, especially the O'Reilly and
Hannity whores.
The GOP has turned their hate-guns on Pat Buchanan.
Personally, as Nazi's go, I like pat Buchanan.
He doesn't hold anything back, he doesn't mix words.
He'll look you right in the eye and say,
"I'm a Nazi and I don't care who knows it," whereas Newt and
Lott
and Barr and Pigboy and Laura all play their pretend little games.
So, here's what they're doing to their former colleague and friend,
and former spokesman for them every night on Crossfire:
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
The Elian case does highlight the core hypocrisy
of the Right.
Their mantra is "Less Government, More
Freedom," as though somehow the
miracle of democracy was a curse. Still,
I can respect the view that government
is inefficient, or wasteful, or incompetent.
But if you believe that, why would you
want government running the most intimate
parts of our lives?
If you don't trust the government to save
lives by writing a health insurance plan,
why do you trust it to save souls by
writing prayers for our children?
If you don't trust the government bureaucracy
to regulate big business,
why do you trust it to execute people?
If you don't want the government telling
corporate America which companies can merge,
why do you want it to tell American
citizens who they can fall in love with?
If the government mandating Family and Medical
Leave is too intrusive,
why isn't it too intrusive for the government
to keep a child away from his father?
Ediotr's Note: These kinds of questions make ditto-monkeys
change the subject.
I've been in 500 debates where questions like this come up, and
the DMs always
resort to, "Well, what about this here and that there?"
because they can't answer
simple, simple, simple questions like Paul has just asked.
Great Deserved Quotes
"Rush was an ideal choice. His broadcast record
is phenomenal. What worried us
most was, there are 10,000 hours of Rush
Limbaugh broadcasting archives out there.
When you're improvising an opinionated
talk show three hours a day for over 12 years
like Rush has been, who knows how many
flippant comments are out there somewhere
on tape that might come back to haunt him
-- and us. We didn't know what was out there.
Choosing Rush was just too risky."
-- an ABC insider
This is an excellent defensive play by ABC.
The minute Rush was given the job, tapes would flood the Internet
of Rush screaming,
"Take that bone out of your nose, negro, and call me back
when you do."
The feminist updates, the animal rights updates, the Dumpster
Diner updates,
the laughing at Clinton's "criminality" while we had men in
battle.
"Chelsea the White House dog," - that's ABC's new
spokesman?
"Hillary murdered Vince Foster," - that's ABC's
new spokesman?
ABC couldn't afford to invest a season in this race-baiting bastard,
so they bailed.
Does that remind you of anything?
The idiot GOP hasn't thought about defense for a single second.
ABC is a lot smarter than the Republican party.
The minute the idiot GOP names Smirk as their White-Power nominee,
audio tapes will surface.
Photos will surface.
A marriage license will surface.
A birth certificate will surface.
His cocaine mug shot will surface.
Videotape will surface.
A woman and her now-teenage son will appear on Larry King,
and the GOP will ask, "Koresh! How did we get into this mess?"
...if only the GOP had been reading bartcop.com
They could've saved themselves the embarrassment.
From: howardpearlman@yahoo.com
Subject: I HATE Bush FAN CLUB
Wednesday at 8 PM is the 2nd of our weekly chats.
(Ediotr's Note: I think it's 8 PM CST)
We hope you all can attend, and please tell your friends to join us!!!!!
I Hate Bush Fan Club just click on the url below:
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/ihatebushfanclub
Please pass this email on to as many of your friends as possible!
From: (withheld)
Documented and Verifiable Bush
Lies
No rumors, just verifiable,
documented lies
1. "I got no help getting into the National
Guard"
A
State Senator says otherwise.
2. "I had no knowledge or meetings about Funeral
Gate." (Perjury)
But
I stuck my head in the door and said,
"Are
they still hassling you, Jim?" (Proving I knew something)
Then
ordered my Chief of Staff to "Take care of him.")
By
the way, How did I get to the meeting? *
* When Republicans wanted to prove that Clinton knew the details
of a meeting between Jim McDougal and David Hale they claimed
that how he get to the meeting was "important evidence."
3. "I read a book about Dean Atchison."
But
I don't know anything about it.
4. "I do not pay attention to polls and focus
Groups."
But I spend
$30,000 a month on them.
5. "I showed up for service in Alabama."
But the
officer that I was supposed to report to, swears I did not.
6. "John McCain sold out his fellow POWs."
But I made
someone else say the words.
7. "John McCain voted against breast cancer
funding,"
But I made
someone else say the words.
8. "John McCain is against clean air and water."
But I asked the Wily Brothers to pay for that ad.
From: boxwood@texas.net
Subject: Hey, Dr. Laura!
If God hates gay people, why'd he make so many?
Adam Stern
ha ha
Peter McWilliams is dead.
Age?
Fifty.
Profession?
Author, poet, publisher.
Particular focus of interest?
The federal judge in California (George King) would decide in a few
weeks how long a sentence to hand down, and whether to send McWilliams
to prison or let him serve his sentence at home.
What was his offense?
He collaborated in growing marijuana plants.
What was his defense?
Well, the judge wouldn't allow him to plead his defense to the jury.
If
given a chance, the defense would have argued that under Proposition
215, passed into California constitutional law in 1996, infirm
Californians who got medical relief from marijuana were permitted to
use
it. The judge also forbade any mention that McWilliams suffered from
AIDS and cancer, and got relief from the marijuana.
What was he doing when he died?
Vomiting.
The vomiting hit him while in his bathtub, and he choked to death.
Was there nothing he might have done to still the impulse to vomit?
Yes, he could have taken marijuana; but the judge's bail terms forbade
him to do so, and he submitted to weekly urine tests to confirm that
he
was living up to the terms of his bail.
Did anybody take note of the risk he was undergoing?
He took Marinol -- a proffered, legal substitute, but reported after
using it that it worked for him only about one-third of the time. When
it didn't work, he vomited.
Was there no public protest against the judge's ruling?
Yes. On June 9, the television program "20/20" devoted a segment to
the
McWilliams plight. Commentator John Stossel summarized:
"McWilliams is out of prison on the condition that he not smoke marijuana,
but it was the marijuana that kept him from vomiting up his medication.
I can understand that the federal drug police don't agree with what
some
states have decided to do about medical marijuana, but does that give
them
the right to just end-run those laws and lock people up?"
Shortly after the trial last year, Charles Levendosky, writing in the
Ventura County (Calif.) Star, summarized: "The cancer treatment resulted
in complete remission." But only the marijuana gave him sustained relief
from the vomiting that proved mortal.
Is it being said, in plain language, that the judge's obstinacy resulted
in killing McWilliams? Yes. The Libertarian Party press release has
made
exactly that charge. "McWilliams was prohibited from using medical
marijuna -- and being denied access to the drug's anti-nausea properties
almost certainly caused his death."
Reflecting on the judge's refusal to let the jury know that there was
understandable reason for McWilliams to believe he was acting legally,
I
ended a column in this space in November by writing, "So, the fate
of
Peter McWilliams is in the hands of Judge King. Perhaps the cool thing
for him to do is delay a ruling for a few months, and just let Peter
McWilliams die." Well, that happened last week, on June 14.
The struggle against a fanatical imposition of federal laws on marijuana
will continue, as also on the question whether federal laws can stifle
state initiatives. Those who believe the marijuana laws are insanely
misdirected have a martyr.
Peter was a wry, mythogenic guy, humorous, affectionate, articulate,
shrewd, sassy.
He courted anarchy at the moral level. His most recent book (his final
book) was called
"Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do." We were old friends, and I owe
my early
conversion to word processing to his guidebook on how to do it. Over
the years we
corresponded, and he would amiably twit my conservative opinions. When
I judged him
to have gone rampant on his own individualistic views in his book,
I wrote him to that effect.
I cherish his reply -- nice acerbic deference, the supreme put-down.
"Please remember the Law of Relativity as applied to politics: In order
for you to
be right, at least someone else must be wrong. Your rightness is only
shown in relation
to the other's wrongness. Conversely, your rightness is necessary for
people like me to
look truly wrong. Before Bach, people said of bad organ music, 'That's
not quite right.'
After Bach, people said flatly, 'That's wrong.' This allowed dedicated
composers to grow,
and cast the neophytes back to writing how-to-be-happy music. So, thank
me for my
wrongness, as so many reviews of my book will doubtless say, 'People
should read more
of a truly great political commentator: William F. Buckley Jr.'"
Imagine such a spirit ending its life at 50, just because they wouldn't
let him have a toke.
We have to console ourselves with the comment of the two prosecutors.
They said they were "saddened" by Peter McWilliams' death.
Many of us are -- by his death and the causes of it.
William F. Buckley,
Republican
From: jcolwel2@ford.com
Subject: Rush said Dennis Miller's a crybaby
BartCop:
Dennis Miller used to have a TV show of his own. It was on late
at night.
After his show was cancelled, Dennis was asked about it during an interview
and he complained about the shitty hour his show was on.
Rush read the interview and chastised Dennis mercilessly. Rush
explained to
his ditto-freaks how the free market works: You get a show at
an unpopular
hour, and you do your best. People will watch. Then you
get a better hour,
and more people watch. Then they move your show to a great hour.
But, Rush explained, whiny, crybaby Dennis didn't understand that.
Rush said Dennis blew his opportunity. Rush said Dennis
is a sniveling crybaby.
Rush went on and on about Dennis' baseless complaint. Rush wanted
to know
what kind of human scum would get a TV show and then complain when
it got cancelled.
We all know what happened next, don't we? Rush got a TV show.
His show was cancelled.
And what did the stoic Rush Limbaugh do?
He cried 5,000 times as much as Dennis Miller did.
And now we know ....the rest of the story.
Good day!
Colwell, Joseph
Ray Can’t Find Words to
Exonerate Hillary
by Joe Conason
On June 22, the fax machine spit out a press release of slightly
less than two pages from the Office of the Independent Counsel
regarding the long-delayed conclusion of the investigation "commonly
known as the Travel Office matter." It was a statement from independent
counsel Robert W. Ray, the successor to Kenneth W. Starr, informing
the public that he would seek no indictments and that the matter
is now "closed."
Apart from its potential impact on the New York Senate race, there
wasn’t really
much drama left in this denouement. Exactly like the F.B.I. files
case, which the
O.I.C. officially closed three months ago, the decision against
any prosecutions in
the so-called Travelgate probe has been "commonly known" for
a long, long time.
Mr. Ray burdened his announcement with nine paragraphs of explanation.
He
complained about legal resistance by the White House, as if that
might excuse the
incredible delay in reporting his office’s failure to uncover
any crime. The truth is
that Mr. Starr gave up on both these phony cases well over two
years ago and
should have dropped them promptly. Instead he left Mr. Ray the
onerous tasks of
cleaning up this partisan mess and justifying the messiness.
At a cost of roughly $1 million per paragraph, give or take a
million, the O.I.C.’s
Travel Office press release is surely one of the most expensive
exercises in the
history of bureaucratic prose. A more complete version will be
made available, at a
somewhat lower cost per word, to the Special Division, the judicial
panel that
oversees independent counsels; and several months from now, if
the Special
Division sees fit to release it, the taxpayers may have a chance
to peruse that
document.
But why wait for such details and facts? Details tend to clutter
a good story, and
facts, as another President once said, are stupid things.
Besides, the O.I.C. press release seemed to invite the headline
that appeared the
following day in the New York Post, accompanied by a suitably
unflattering picture
of Mrs. Clinton: "Good Liar."
The wording of Mr. Ray’s statement— "insufficient to prove to
a jury beyond a
reasonable doubt"—seemed to encourage the instant tabloid reversal
of her
exoneration, and elsewhere raised questions about the apparent
insinuation of guilt
that accompanied the formal acknowledgment of innocence.
On the evening of June 23, some of those questions were put directly
to Mr.
Ray—who had embarked on a television blitz of dubious propriety—by
Margaret
Warner, the co-anchor of the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer. Scrupulously
but bluntly,
she pressed the independent counsel for a fuller accounting,
and his responses
seemed to simultaneously undermine and bolster the belligerent
journalistic
interpretations of his official statement.
As he told Ms. Warner, "we did review Mrs. Clinton’s testimony,
and we
reviewed it thoroughly after an extensive investigation. We determined
that no jury,
based upon the evidence that we would be able to present, would
convict her.
Once having made that judgment, it was appropriate … to remove
the lingering
cloud that an investigation creates."
He then proceeded to re-create that cloud by insisting that Mrs.
Clinton had played
a substantial role in dismissing the Travel Office employees
through conversations
with various members of the White House staff, although he found
that she had
spoken only once on the subject with David Watkins, the presidential
assistant who
actually carried out the firings. "We can have [a] discussion
about whether that was
a direct or indirect role," he added.
"But remember," Mr. Ray continued, "that’s just the beginning
of the process. That
was what caused an investigation.…My job was a very limited one.
And that was
simply to determine based upon the testimony and the statements
that she made
with regard to that role, whether or not that testimony was knowingly
false. And we
emphatically found that the answer to that question was no."
[Emphasis added.]
Moments later, however, he returned again to the innuendo-laden
locution of
"beyond a reasonable doubt," leaving Ms. Warner slightly puzzled.
"Are you trying
to imply something without actually saying it?" she asked.
"What I’m trying to say is that a prosecutor makes a judgment
about evidence …
whether or not that would be sufficient to persuade a jury to
convict," he replied.
"Once I’ve made that judgment, there are no further judgments
for a prosecutor to
make. I’m not in the business as a prosecutor of deciding whether
or not someone is
exonerated in that sense."
No indeed, he isn’t in that business at all. In fact, Mr. Ray
seems to believe that he
is in the business of influencing an election by ensuring that
exoneration, as normally
understood, is impossible. And he is perfectly willing to leave
further judgments to
the national media, where complexity gets short shrift and the
presumption of
innocence doesn’t even get lip service.
True Smirk Quotes
"I want to close the Gap of Hope."
-- wherever he was Monday
Huh?
Shouldn't Smirk want to widen the Gap of Hope?
From: brian.campbell@SuperiorInternational.com
Subject: Battery Night
The Braves play Montreal tonight.
Mets series starts Thursday night.
A Braves Fan (but not a Rocker fan)
Brian Campbell
Brian, thanks.
I have fired my Sports Ediotr.
ha ha
From: randall_guyton@yahoo.com
Subject: Bye bye, Elian
Dear Elain,
I am overjoyed that your struggle is finally over.
I am sorry that your young life was made into an American soap opera,
for the benefit of our media culture. I am sorry about your Mom and
I
wish that she had made it to the US and enjoyed life here with you
at her side.
But her tragic fate is now history and the arms of your father now
keep you safe.
I hope that you won't hold it against the people of this nation because,
as I am sure
you are aware, most of us believed that returning with your father
to your
homeland is the right thing to do.
Also, keep in mind the impact that you had on our conscience with regard
to our
40 year embargo against Fidel Castro, which we now know has been been
a
horrible mistake. We have recently opened up markets for food and medicine.
I hope and believe that this is only the first step in normalizing
relations with your country.
Go home, Elain. Be young and carefree.
Don't worry about your relatives in Miami right now, as I want to believe
that
all will be forgiven in due time. After all, what is more important
than family?
Thank you and God bless you.
Farewell,
Randall Guyton
From: Tony
Subject: Dubya ahead on the score cards
DR. Dubya 135 kills (Poor, minorities, begging to live)
Dr. Kevorkian 130 Kills (crippled, sick, old, begging to die)
The judges scored it 135-130,
and the NEW Champion of Death is George Herbert Walker
Smirk
Bad Language Alert
So last night I'm channel surfing and I
see that stupid whore Chris the Screamer.
Yes, it's Chris the Catholic, Chris the
idiot, Chris the sellout hand-jobber.
To make things worse, he's interviewing
Bill (still smoking) Bennett.
Sidebar:
By the way, Mr. Bennett, you've never been
CONVICTED of rape, right?
No matter what Ms. Sanchez claims,
you were never CONVICTED, right?
I mean, you were never even formally
charged, were you?
Sounds pretty innocent to me, if you weren't
even formally charged..
Back to Chris the partisan, lying son-of-a-bitch...
So I catch a few minutes of Chris-the-shit
talking to Bill Bennett who has never
been formally charged with rape, and they
were going down a CHECK LIST,
comparing our current vice president to
that smirking little rich kid from Texas.
Here's how it went, and I heard this myself, so eat me if you disagree.
Matthews: Honesty, which one's more honest? Gore or Bush?
Bennett: Well, I certainly couldn't
give that title to Al Gore. He's a bad, bad man
who's helped the biggest criminal in history with his crime spree.
Matthews: I agree completely! Gore's
a bad, bad man, unworthy of the office..
OK, who's more sincere, Gore or Bush?
Bennett: Well, I personally think
Bush is more sincere. As you know, Al Gore's
only after an ego-trip and a power-grab, helping the biggest criminal ever
to hurt America with his no-morals governing style.
Matthews: I agree completely, so who's more wonderful?
Bennett: Oh, I think Gov Bush is
a wonderful guy, whereas Al Gore isn't wonderful.
Al Gore's not even a good landlord, he claimed to have invented the internet,
Love Story, blah, blah, Love Canal, blah, blah, no controlling legal authority,
only gave $300 to charity, blah, blah, and he enabled Clinton, blah, blah.
Matthews: So, what about Foreign policy? Who's got more experience with foreign policy?
Bennett: (too goddamned stunned to speak - can't think of anyfuckingthing to say)
Matthews: ....I guess, ....
I guess, ....
I guess you COULD say....
I guess ...
I
guess you COULD argue that Gore has more
foreign policy experience than Bush....
Hey, Chris!
I hardly ever get down to a plain old "Fuck You," but this is
one of those times.
Journalism has sunk to such shit these days, that a once-respected
hand-jobber
can get on TV with a no-morals "Morality expert" and lie like
a fucking dog?
To suggest that a spoiled idiot-playboy four-year governor, who
proved he can't
remember the name of the prime minister of fucking Canada might
possibly be
at the same level of foreign policy expertise as the man who
has co-driven the
bus for the last 8 years makes me wonder what the fuck is going
on.
How is this even possible?
Tell me, Chris the prick, if I was going to shoot some
baskets with Michael Jordan,
COULD you argue Jordan has more experience
than Ol' BartCop at basketball?
You think you could handle a big, tough assignment like that?
Jesus Christ, we have reached a new low in America.
I saw it myself, and I still can't believe the SOB said
that.
You COULD argue Gore knows more foreign
policy than a No-Brain governor
who's foreign policy experience-til-now has been flying to Mexico
to drink, for some
ungodly goddamn reason, Jim fucking Beam until he fell off his
fucking barstool?
You call that experience?
You call that shit being a journalist?
Christ!
(big exhale...)
During Paula Jones, I said it couldn't get worse.
During Monica, I said it couldn't get worse.
During impeachment, I said it couldn't get worse.
During Juanita Brodderrick, I said it couldn't get worse.
...but it keeps getting worse, day after day,
which just goes to show how little I know about anything...
Kevin Cunningham cunninghamstrikes.com
has been going buck-ass crazy
spitting out great photo-toons faster than I can post 'em, so
I'm doublin' up!
.
ha ha
It's Giuliani time!!!
That Gang-Sting over at Time.Com
is still going on.
I'll spend some time there today...
Some people have been posting their views on Doc Harpy,
others are taking the next step.
From: Todd Hudson
hudson_todd@hotmail.com
Subject: A cool picture of Dr. Screech in time
BartCop, it's really cool what you can do when you know the
language that the Time people made for this little chat
board...
ha ha
From: LJPrchrd@aol.com
Subject: (no subject)
Are you and all the other Clinton lovers
going to credit Clinton with the
high gasoline prices, since you seem to
want to think he is responsible for
the strong economy?
Clinton is responsible for the stock market, the drop in crime,
the drop in
interest rates, the increase in real wages, the record housing
starts, the
tremendous comeback of Detroit's sales worldwide, the drop in
abortions,
the drop in AIDS deaths, the mapping of the Genomes, steps towards
peace
in Ireland, the Middle-East, North & South Korea, Kosovo
and Bosnia, and the
general peace and prosperity like no nation, even ours,
has ever seen before.
But this gasoline crisis is all Reagan's fault.
Is today the last day of the Elian Circus?
Larry Klayman must be having chest pains.
Horowitz
Salon Magazine hired David Horowitz for the same reason
Fox Whore News hired Alan Colmes - they're both so goddamn pitiful
at putting an argument together that they make their enemies
look good.
Horowitz wrote some horseshit that I thought would be fun to ridicule.
If you want to see the whole column, Click
Here.
In the article, he even attacks my good friend Joe Conason,
who certainly doesn't need any help from me, but I thought it
would
be fun to cherry-pick a few sentences from it:
As we enter the final six months of the
Clinton-Gore era, it has become obvious
to all but the willfully stupefied that
this will go down as the most criminal,
most corrupt, most cynical administration
in American history.
You notice which words he did NOT use in that sentence?
How about, "the administration with the most felony convictions."
That would describe the Nixon administration.
How about, "the administration that needed pardons to escape
prison?"
That would describe the Reagan/Butch administrations.
Anybody, even a brain-dead Republican hack, can throw around adjectives
like,
"criminal, corrupt and cynical" because adjectives can't be measured.
But "felonies" and "pardons" can be measured by simply COUNTING
them,
so Horowitz wisely avoids getting tangled in bad behavior that
can be measured.
My favorite is, "they all do it," was
the one used by half of my fellow speeders
in
'traffic school,' who claimed they should
not have been singled out for punishment
because their actions were no different
from anyone else's.
So, you admit to being a law-breaker?
Shame on you.
Your cavalier attitude towards the law disgusts me.
I'll bet you're voting for Smirk this year.
To measure what is being witnessed in
these historic days, consider that
Richard Nixon was removed from the presidency
because of 18 minutes of
erased tape that allegedly recorded
his obstructions of justice.
ha ha
That's so false, you'd have to take a plane with a layover in
Phoenix to get to the truth.
Nixon RESIGNED after Howard Baker and Barry Goldwater
told him even the
Republicans were going to vote against his crooked ass at his
impeachment trail.
ha ha
What a lying shit!
What the fuck is wrong with you, Mr Horowitz?
Do you think your audience is only young people?
I remember 1973, like most Americans do, Smirk-for-brains.
Why did you tell that crazy, clumsy lie?
What are you, like, ...stupid?
Like all the other good fortunes of the
White House mob (for example,
the disappearance of ...congressional
witnesses) this one is hardly an accident.
ha ha
Make him stop!
Hey, David, how much did you pay for that Falwell tape?
Did Hillary murder all the witnesses?
Or did they just flee to China?
Please list for me the witnesses that have fled and not returned,
liar.
Salon columnist Joe Conason, well-known
for his unflagging loyalty to
every Clinton claim, argues that the
failure to make the case against Clinton
in matters like Travelgate and the missing
FBI files is sufficient to presume
that no charge against him credible.
Joe doesn't need my help, but maybe what he really said was everytime
you whores
scream, "The sky is REALLY falling this time," the odds of you
ever getting
the truth from you decline with every false cry of "Wolf!"
Everyone who has watched the tape of
Clinton's Grand Jury testimony
knows that a determined liar can make
hash out of the system and
successfully obstruct the pursuit of
justice.
You mean all a suspect has to do is lie to avoid jail?
Is that why America's prisons are empty?
ha ha
Everything on the public record so far
indicates that Clinton
and Gore are determined liars.
How about that sentence?
"Everything" indicates Clinton and Gore are liars?
The truth has never, ever been spoken by them?
Never, ever?
Not even one time?
Never?
ha ha
Pigboy speaks a true sentence at least once an hour,
and we all know what kind of lying pig that bastard is.
The American people deserve the truth.
One day perhaps they will get it.
Yeah, give us a Smirk administration and $60,000,000 with Harold
Ickes
leading the "independent" investigation and we'll show you some
truth.
Reader Alert: Anytime you see a column by this David Horowitz
guy,
be sure and let me know about it. He's fun!
VCR Alert
Big night for TV.
What will the Survivors be forced to eat tonight?
A nation is transfixed by the drama!
Plus, tonight, or real soon, is Battery Night
in
New York!
Watch TBS and Fox Sports for the Mets-Braves game.
Also, tonight on a very special edition of the O'Reilly Factor.
Bill O'Reilly is doing another one of those fabulous theme shows
that only Bill can do with such ...panache...
Join Bill and his panel of experts Barbara Olson, Ann Coulter,
Mara Liason,
Kato Burn, Backdoor Bettina Gregory, Kellyanne Fitzpatrick,
Candy Crowley,
Mary Bono, Susan Carpenter McWhore, Sally Quinn, John Kasich,
Marcia Clark,
two of Paul Harvey's horse-husbands, and Harpy the Wonder Slut
to discuss
Bill Clinton - Does
he Dye his Pubic Hair?
So tune in for tonight's Special Fox Report.
Then, right after this very special and topical O'Reilly Report,
stay tuned for a follow-up special report on Hannity and Colmes,
Bill Clinton - How
he Dishonored the Dignity of the Office!
Both shows to be repeated bi-hourly until the election.
Fox News
We whore - You call us on it!
From: (withheld)
Seen on the "Dr." Laura board at Time.Com.
/chris_farley mode=ON
Hey, Laura...
Remember that time you took off all your clothes
and posed naked for that old guy, Bill Ballance or something?
Remember, Laura?
That was cool!
And remember how you posed in that doggie S&M collar so Ballance
could
record your sexual peccadillos for future generations to enjoy?
And remember how you posed in front of the mirror like, ...how
did you put it
when Bill O'Reilly asked you about it..., "Like a Bottacelli?"
Remember that, Laura?
That was pretty cool, too!
And remember how you posed with your legs spread wide apart like
a goalpost?
And he took your gaping picture and then later put the
photos on the Internet
so teenage boys all around the world could masturbate to the
Grand Canyon?
Remember that, Laura?
...that was awesome!
/chris_farley mode = OFF
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