Celebrity Mail
Subject: Estate Taxes
Dear Mister Bartcop:
The GOP is trying to fix the tax code so we can inherit lots more money,
and
that's good. However, the law doesn't completely eliminate so-called
"death
taxes" until 2010, and that's bad.
Here's our question: Should we pray for Uncle Dickie to
live until 2010,
saving us millions in taxes?
Or should we pray for Uncle Dickie to die now, so we can get our hands
on it
before he blows it all on lavish parties for right-wing federal judges
and
bribing people to tell lies about President Clinton?
Sincerely,
The Mellon and Scaife heirs
The PBA Argument
Subject: For Sluttinger
From: Dian.Hardison-1@kmail.ksc.nasa.gov
From the Time Magazine-Laura the Unloved interview
TIME: How do you reconcile your harshness
toward listeners over their moral
lapses with your own, some of which have come out in the press?
Laura: I can extrapolate that
no mathematician working at NASA should ever have
got a C on a math test when he was learning. So what?
I never said I was divine.
Dear Hate-bitch:
No mathematician, or scientist or engineer for
that matter, working here at NASA
has ever gotten a C in math. We wouldn't
have chosen this career if we had.
Dian Hardison
VCR Alert
They say tonight is the first time in my lifetime that The
Wizard of Oz
will be broadcast without commercial interruption.
Remember, if you're brave, the Dark Side Oz will start
at 11 PM EST.
Look for it on Turner Classic Movies.
Is Gore smart enough to be president?
If it was Bill Clinton that had a tenant problem, he would've
given her
$1,000 and found her a new place to stay, because this idiot
family
now knows they can call Sean Hannity at Fox Whore News,
for no goodamn valid reason and be on tlevision that night.
Gore has his strong suits, be he's no Clinton.
De-fense, Al.
De-fense!
Another re-run from the Pigboy?
Monday, Pigboy has taken ANOTHER day off.
Is he back in the hospital for more butt surgery?
How incompetent can those Lauderdale doctors be?
How well can a hampster hide in El Pigbo's colon?
He's punishing us by playing a particularly repugnant re-run of
a bad show.
It's the show where that Tracy Mayberry she-thing got all
three hours.
This is the show where thay call "Gore Property Management"
about 30-40 times, running the same wasn't-funny-the-first-time
gag
again and again and again and again and again and again.
Even the sheep must be gagging at the unfunny repeat.
From: Dian.Hardison-1@kmail.ksc.nasa.gov
Subject: PBA
Bartcop-man, there is NO SUCH THING as a "partial birth abortion."
That's just another lie the pro-slavery, woman-hating repuke-licans
have come up with to try to keep women "in their place."
I flat guarantee you that a woman who has endured three-quarters
of a year
of pregnancy is not going to just decide to have an abortion.
I know three women who have had third-trimester abortions. It
broke their
hearts. But the fetus was dead, or brain dead, and continuing
to carry a
fetid mutant collection of cells would have poisoned them --
and in one
case, probably killed her.
No one chooses an abortion for the fun of it. Anyone who opposes
a woman's
right to decide what to do with her own body is a sick, evil,
perverted bastard.
Dian
Ramdom Thought
If Al Gore allows the Smirk campaign to paint HIM as the "big
oil" candidate,
that would prove to me that Gore's not smart enough to be president.
Of course, he's much smarter than Smirk,
so I expect him to not have this problem.
Do you hear me, AL?
Another Republican Gets
Caught
'Blowback' strikes Republicans again
By Sandy Grady
WHEN THEY nosily embarked on their crusade to impeach Bill Clinton,
it was
inevitable Republicans would be burned by their own sexual scandals.
The CIA has a word: "Blowback," meaning you're caught at your
own propaganda game.
Sure enough, since Clinton's Monica episode, extramarital misbehavior
roared
through the Republican leadership like a Yellowstone fire.
Let's see, there was Newt Gingrich, since divorced; his appointed
heir Bob Livingston,
who resigned; Henry Hyde (a "youthful indiscretion"); Clinton-baiter
Rep. Dan Burton,
who had to apologized to constituents for lying about his hidden
bastard..
Not to forget Rudy Giuliani, who covered up a relationship with
his press secretary,
then quit the Senate race against Hillary Clinton after a sizzling
affair.
Now, the Clinton Curse strikes again.
Call it the Saga of the Congressman and the Lady Lobbyist.
More than your Washington scandal du jour, the tale is entangled
in a House
fight over how retirees and baby boomers will afford prescription
drugs.
The congressman is Bill Thomas, R-Bakersfield, 58, married, head
of a powerful
health subcommittee -- and hustling to become the next Ways and
Means boss.
The lobbyist is Deborah Steelman, 45, a comely, hard-driving insider
who makes
$2 million a year representing such pharmaceutical giants as
Johnson & Johnson,
Bristol-Myers, Squibb and Pfizer. She's married, but in the process
of divorce.
Steelman is touted for the Bush Cabinet to replace Donna Shalala.
Thomas and Steelman have been engaged for the past year in an
"intensely
personal relationship," according to the congressman's hometown
newspaper,
the Bakersfield Californian.
Without playing private eye, I don't know whether accusations
of an illicit
romance between the congressman and the lobbyist are true.
If they are, the conflict of interest smells like a garbage dump.
Two reasons to suspect reality:
First, Thomas' gutsy local paper reported the relationship after
insistent
rumors -- heard also on Capitol Hill -- launched a six-month
investigation.
The Californian said the pair travel together and spend hours
alone in Thomas'
office. It quotes confidantes of top Thomas aide Carol Abernathy
saying she
was distraught over the affair's potential damage.
Second, despite a flood of self-serving rhetoric, neither has
uttered an outright denial.
Why should anyone care if a congressman strays from his marriage?
A confluence of events gives the Thomas-Steelman allegation impact
on American lives.
Republicans this week will struggle to shed the "Do-Nothing Congress"
image
by passing a medical-drug bill for the over-60 populace. This
gizmo would let
insurance companies sell policies for $35 to $40 a month to pay
half of
seniors' drugs up to $2,100 a year.
Their plan is largely political cover in the 2000 elections. The
golden-years
vote will be pivotal. Republicans want to throttle a generous
package by
Clinton and Democrats to have Medicare pay for seniors' drugs.
That would mean
price controls, which big medical companies despise.
The craftsman behind the Republican fig-leaf plan: Bill Thomas.
The winners, if it passes, would be medical giants -- including
the umbrella
Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers Association -- for
whom Debbie
Steelman is a highly paid lobbyist.
Notably, Thomas' colleagues don't leap to his defense.
Ho-hum, some shrug that the infidelity story won't slow his rise
to Ways and
Means chairman -- or Steelman's place in a Bush Cabinet. Rep.
Pete Stark,
D-Calif., says, "If true, there should be an ethical investigation."
But more urgently, suspicion about a Thomas-Steelman dalliance
should stop
cold the Republican prescription-drug plan.
Why should a congressman's hormonal hijinks affect what a 70-year-old
widow
pays at the drug counter?
Grady is Washington columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News.
A One-page history of PBA's.
From: (withheld)
Subject: PB Abortion Follies
BartDude:
Don't be suckered in by the right-wing
propaganda
mill. Pigboy and all the rest of God's
Own Party want you
to believe 80% of Americans are opposed
to partial birth abortion.
Part of my point was everybody dislikes PBA.
I don't know anyone who's pro-abortion.
Abortion is like holiday highway deaths - nobody is in
favor of them, but
it's the price we agree to pay for the freedom to drive our
millions of cars.
Fact is, when a stranger calls to ask
if you favor abortion, many folks
will say 'NO' as they don't want someone
thinking they're a baby murderer.
True, true, true.
It's like when the dumbass pollsters asked,
"Are your morals higher than those of Pessnit
Kinton?"
everybody said, "Yes."
Ditto for candidates and civic leaders.
But, put these same folks
in a voting both with an anonymous ballot,
and there isn't a woman alive
who doesn't know someone who's had a
problem pregnancy. They may be
morally opposed, but given the choice
between a clinic or a coathanger
for their niece or sister or daughter,
they'll vote for safe abortion every time...
Remember, in just the last four years, Dan Quayle and John McCain
both
said they'd support whatever decision their daughter's would
make,
which is totally against the GOP platform.
They are liars and hypocrites.
Here's a place you might visit:
Religious Insanity
From: skisics@yahoo.com
Subject: Reagan Coin?
Found this in my local paper:
FLIP A COIN: Is a Ronald Reagan coin
in the works?
Could be.
Senate Banking Chairman Phil Gramm,
(R-Flunked 3, 4, & 7th grades)
says one way to spur use of all those
golden-colored Sacagawea coins is
to rename them in honor of the ailing
president and put his face on them.
Gramm oversees Mint issues.
My design, on the obverse would be Reagans
face and on
the reverse would be a ship brimming
with missles and
a torn copy of the constitution.
skisics surus
ha ha
From: Blitzer89@aol.com
Subject: Bye Bye Dr. L
Radio KGO in San Francisco, an ABC affiliate,
has dropped Dr. L
as of last Friday. I just thought you
should know about that.
Unfortunately, she can still be found
on the dial in these parts,
but maybe KGO will start a trend in
Northern California.
One can only hope.
Dr. Jim
I think that's the third account since Friday of Laura or Pigboy
losing their slot.
Maybe a trend is starting?
The Perfect Storm problem is corrected.
See Below
Congressman Traffican't
I heard your rant last week about how terrible the Democrats
are.
They say you want to switch to the GOP.
Please go,
or beam up,
or whatever the fuck it is traitors like you do to go away.
We don't like stab-in-the-back sons-o-bitches in the Democratic
Party.
So I'm watching Fox Whore News Sunday, I saw Smirk tell a crowd in Tennessee,
"Nobody's going to touch your benefits!
We're not going to cut Medicare, Social Security,
Medicade, military spending or tobacco subsidies."
"We're going to cut your taxes AND balace the budget."
Just then, Rocky and Bush-winkle appeared on the screen.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I assume it was liberals - hacking onto Fox Whore News.
Bush-winkle: "Hey, Rocky, watch me to pull a supply-side rabbit outa this hat."
Rocky frowns and says "Again? That trick NEVER works."
Bush-winkle reaches in the hat and pulls out a DEFICIT LION that ROARS at him.
Click Here to hear deficit lion roar!
Rocky: "....Wrong hat."
Did you hear the vulgar Pigboy's big flip-flop Friday?
Since they're having trouble getting people to believe
that Ronald Reagan is responsible for the roaring economy,
Rush is back to saying it's Clinton's economy,
"...and it's not as good as Clinton would
have you think."
ha ha
Poor Pigboy.
Evan Bayh has been dropped from consideration for Gore's VP.
It seems he's against what they call, "Partial Birth Abortions."
Of course, everyone in America is against PBA's,
so I'm not sure what Bayh's position is.
Clinton wants to make PBA's illegal,
but
he wants have a loophole if the life of the mother is endangered.
How can anyone vote against the life of the mother?
How Evan Bayh can be pro kill-the-mother is beyond me.
Can anyone explain?
Funny, Smirk has a similar problem:
He's PRO-CHOICE when it comes to rape, incest or the life of
the mother,
but he'd let that same mother die if it was the eighth month
on a PBA?
Where the hell is the logic in that position?
Even assuming men are crazy, why would a clear-thinking woman
prefer death to the termination of a problem pregnancy?
Who's the crazy person here?
I'd appreciate your imput, especially you women.
And double especially if you'd prefer death to terminating
a problem pregnancy
We saw "The Perfect Storm" over the weekend.
I have a question about it, but I have to give away the ending,
so
Click Here
if you've already seen it or
don't mind knowing the ending.
If Laura the Unloved is your hero, you won't like this at all
Click Here to see a Rabbi Schlessinger cartoon series.
(then hit "next")
News Flash!
This Just In, according to Newsweek,
Gore Catches Smirk in Poll
Al, ...not yet!
It's not time, it's not time!!!.
We haven't had our way with Smirk yet!
Wait until after their convention to turn your horse loose..
Can anybody explain this page?
I need some kind of business manager or "brains" to handle stuff like this.
Thanks to wezeldog@gate.net
I know Gore can win this election without any help from Ol' BartCop.
But I'm going to write a zinger for him to use against Smirk.
Here's the deal:
They're in the last debate, and some pundits score it
even.
Smirk makes his pitiful pitch for why he's the best man to drive
the bus.
Gore has three minutes to close and the debate's over.
Here's what he says:
"So help me God."
Do you remember hearing those words from Governor Bush?
What he said was, "Tax cuts - so help
me God."
Tax cuts are very important
to the Republican party.
But we all know if he cuts taxes, the
oil companies will be a big beneficiary.
He will be taking money from Social
Security and Medicare and giving it to the oil companies.
By cutting taxes, our fight against
the deficit will slow down.
When Wall Street sees the government
is no longer serious about dealing
with our national debt, they will get
nervous.
Besides, if he cuts taxes, what if that
action had the unforseen side effect
of stimulating this heavy-steaming
Clinton-Gore economy?
If that happened, the Fed would raise
interest rates, drying up funds for the farmers
and the small businessman, all so his
rich, Texas oil company contributors can
have a big tax break while it costs
you $55 to fill up your gas tank?
We can't afford to risk this country's
economy on a risky tax-cut scheme for the rich.
We can't afford to risk your future
on this "tax cuts, so help me God" idea.
Say "Yes" to continued funding for
Medicare, Social Security and the environment.
Say "Yes" to fiscal responsibility
and continued peace and prosperity.
Look at it this way:
Did Gov Bush say, "I'll protect Social
Security, so help me God?"
No, he didn't say that.
Did Gov Bush say, "I'll protect Medicare,
so help me God?"
No he didn't say that.
Did Gov Bush say, "I'll protect the
environment, so help me God?"
No he didn't say that.
Did Gov Bush say, "I will continue to
pay down the Reagan/Bush debt, so help me God?"
No, he didn't say that.
He said, "TAX CUTS, SO HELP ME GOD."
So, ...I'm asking for your vote in November.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you my word that if you elect
me,
I'll pay down the Reagan/Bush debt,
I'll continue the Clinton-Gore record
of surpluses, not deficits,
I'll continue the Clinton-Gore Miracle.
...so help me God.
Al, use it if you need it, Buddy.
I see where the Phillip Morris Cancer Company has purchased Nabisco.
That presents a question:
Will they secretly add ammonia, formaldehyde and nicotine to Oreo
Cookies
to make sure the American children get hopelessly addicted to
them?
Too High to Pee?
There are so many spinners, spokesmen and paid consultants spamming
the political coverage these days that a news junkie soon learns to
ferret out statements that just don't ring true.
This week, the Bush campaign said why Smirk failed to appear
for a physical examination that included a screening for narcotics.
"He knew the suspension would have to take place."
...and funny, when the front-runner for president has a drug problem,
Face the Whore spent Sunday asking, "Are baseballs too lively."
The next person who tells me the American press is a "responsible entity"
is going to get the heel of my hand up the nose.
WOW!
If you saw "This Whore" with Sam & Cokie,
you know George Will said, "being born
black is an accident of birth."
Koresh!
Does that mean all black people are deviants?
Does this mean Paramount TV will give George Will his own TV
show?
From: marc@perkel.com
Subject: Clinton should be disbarred!
The Arkansas Supreme Court has filed suit against President Clinton
stating that Clinton's conduct ''damages the legal profession
and demonstrates
a lack of overall fitness to hold a license to practice law''.
All states have their
"Rules of Professional Conduct" that holds lawyers to a very
high standard of
ethical behavior. Most people don't know it but a lawyer can
be disbarred
for making a misleading argument in court.
As you might have guessed, even though these rules are on the
books,
they are rarely if ever enforced. The Rules of Professional Conduct
are little
more than a prop to create the illusion of ethical standards
in the mind of the public.
In practice lawyers, judges, and prosecutors are some of the
most dishonest,
deceptive, and unethical people I've ever met. It's somewhat
laughable that
they are truly offended about someone who lies about a sexual
encounter.
I think it would be a good precedent for Clinton to be disbarred
because
if they can disbar the president for lying about sex, then they
can disbar lawyers,
judges, and prosecutors for the ethical lapses of everyday court
business.
This would set an example that could lead to tens of thousands
of lawyers
being disbarred for similar breaches of the rules. It could lead
to really cleaning up
a badly broken justice system. And for that reason, I am confident
that Clinton
will not be disbarred. Lawyers and judges take care of themselves
first.
For further reading: People before Lawyers
http://www.perkel.com/pbl
The rights of the people come before the profit of lawyers.
Great Religious Quotes
"When I was younger, I was gone from
home so much, my wife
would show my picture to the kids and
say, "That's your daddy."
-- Billy Graham, one of the good ones
Hey, Billy!
Why have them if you're not going to raise them?
Signed,
the Screeching Harpy.
From: ajcortez@mindspring.com
Subject: Updates
BC,
Just a few notes.
1. Here in Atlanta, home of the world's
most famous redneck hurler,
Dr. Whora is getting the ax. Her show is
being pulled from it's valuable afternoon
drive-time slot. I guess one can only handle
so much vitriol while driving here.
The traffic's bad enough here without people
slamming their cars into
highway pylons out of sheer Whora frustration.
2. The rebel flag came down from
the South Carolina capitol today.
They promptly put it back up on a 3 story
flagpole on the busiest street in town.
So who is out there waving their rebel
redneck flags and cheering
on a bunch of guys in rebel uniforms? The
freakin' Boy Scouts!
It's not okay to be gay, but apparently its ok to be a racist in the Scouts.
Keep the flames burning.
AJC
(Repaired)
Subject: Debbie Schlussel article on Rush
From: Duprass@aol.com
I almost made it through this article without
hurling,
but her belief that Rush, unlike
Dennis Miller, is a "class act"
pushed the bile right up to the back of
my throat.
Emergency rooms and poison control centers
should
keep this article around to use as an ipecac.
Mikey
Mikey, I found out WHY she wrote that petty, mean-spirted hatchet job.
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
As you pay through the nose to fill-up at the pump this holiday
weekend, you
can thank George W. Bush's friends at Big Oil. Bush has long
been a faithful
servant of Big Oil. He has said, "There's no such thing as being
too closely
aligned to the oil business." And his record proves it.
Just last year he rushed through an "emergency" tax cut for oil
companies.
That's right. The man who has cut welfare benefits for poor mothers
struggling to raise their children, gave a huge tax break to
such charity cases
as Chevron, Texaco, Exxon and Union Oil of California.
How Guilty is Smirk?
From: henryporter@operamail.com
Subject: Abortion clinic & JWR
A followup to teabow@email.msn.com
I'm also a little confused by your connection
between the JWR and an abortion
clinic. I searched the site and couldn't
find anywhere where it said who its
sponsors are. You're not the only one who
thinks this type of rag being
sponsored by an abortion clinic is strange,
but its not immediately obvious
where it says this. Maybe you can elaborate?
Henry
Henry, you speak for many.
The web is a weird thang, and I don't understand
it all.
When I first clicked on Debbie's JewWorldReview
site, or whatever it is,
I saw a banner right above her headline
for a women's clinic that
started their pitch with the come-on, "PREGNANT?"
It showed a picture of a sad, scared teenage
girl.
Knowing it was a right-wing snakepit,
and knowing how they'd rather see coathangers
make a comeback
than allow a woman to make an intelligent
decision with her doctor's guidance,
I clicked on the banner to see what the
trap was.
I confess, I didn't read it all, but since
I suspected a trick, I just looked for
the disclaimer to see if I was right. I
read a paragraph that said, basically,
that it would be wrong to terminate a pregnancy
after X-many weeks.
(It might've been 20 weeks)
In the real world, when you say "It's wrong
after X,"
that means it's not wrong BEFORE
you get to "X."
At that point, I assumed JWR were whores,
making a few dimes from
an abortion clinic while screaming at scared
teenagers, "Don't go there."
All together, I clicked on it 3 or 4 times.
Later yesterday, I clicked on it again,
and it said,
"Cannot Click Thru at this time."
ha ha
In all my years on the Internet,
I've never seen a banner that refused
to dump their schpiel on me. I thought
that was very strange.
I clicked it several times later, and could
never get thru.
Today, they have a different banner entirely.
Supposition:
Let's give them the benefit of the doubt,
(something they'd never do for us)
and assume they're not THAT goddamn stupid
to sign up with an abortion clinic.
It's possible they signed up with a company
that distributes dozens of banners
for dozens of companies, and this one just
slipped thru.
It's possible/probable that after I blew
the whistle on them, they contacted the
banner people who then suspended the banners
while they looked into it and
effected repairs, thus explaining my inability
to "Click thru."
But it DID look funny to see Dr. Laura's
message, among others,
being brought to hundreds of homes by the
friendly neighborhood abortionist.
Ugly, Ugly Pigboy Quotes
Ediotr's Note: This quote is so awful, so
full-of-hate, I wouldn't
blame you if you assumed I was just in a bad mood
and made shit up.
Sadly, it's true. This quote came from the leader
of the Republican party:
"I'm going to play you a tape from the Oprah show from June 20, this year."
Oprah's Voice: "We cry most every day on my show."
"You see? Did you hear that? She
admitted it, she admitted it!
Oprah admitted she cries every
day on her show,
and I'm the only one with the courage
to point that out to you."
Yes, Rush, and what a courageous son-of-a-monkeybitch you are!!!
Who else in this whore-driven country would have that much "courage?"
I can't think of anyone, can you?
Subject: Debbie Schlussel article on Rush
From:Duprass@aol.com
I almost made it through this article without
hurling,
but her belief that Rush, unlike
Dennis Miller, is a "class act"
pushed the bile right up to the back of
my throat.
Emergency rooms and poison control centers
should
keep this article around to use as an ipecac.
Mikey
Mikey, I found out WHY she wrote that petty, mean-spirted hatchet job.
Celebrity Movie Reviews
Betty reviews ultra-right wing Mel Gibson's "The Patriot."
http://www.bettybowers.com/patriot.html
From: ranting_wacko@hotmail.com
New York had roughly a dozen alone covering the
third base line
and a small platoon in left field bullpen where
Rocker was warming up.
Many of these cops were decked out in full riot
gear.
Now think about it: You're an angry and upset
New Yorker, but there are all
of these cops in FULL RIOT GEAR around, ready
to deal with anyone who is
being even mildly threatening towards Rocker.
Considering that we are
dealing with the same organization that recently
put 41 shots in a man armed
with a wallet and raped another man with a plunger...
well, if you're partly
rational, that thought is going to offset a lot
of your desire to boo.
Is it just me, or is it awfully suspicious when
an idiot redneck like Rocker can
justify the presence of 700 cops to protect his
sorry ass, but they can't spare one
to do something about a gang of men sexually
assaulting women in Central Park?
Ranting Wacko
RW,
Rudy is a Republican.
He decides what has priority.
Subject: abortion clinic???
From: teabow@email.msn.com
You wrote,
>Why is http://www.jewishworldreview.com/
> home to George Will, Ann Coulter and Dr Laura
> brought to you by an abortion clinic?
What am I missing?
I'm not getting your "connection."
teabow
teabow,
I thought an ultra-ultra-conservative web-site
sponsored
by an abortion-clinic was just a little bit strange.
Maybe I'm the only one...
Oh, No!
Subject: I never thought I'd say this
From: abigayle@surfsouth.com
Hi Bartcop.
Abigayle here with disturbing news. We
live, as you may remember,
down here in S. Georgia. about 60 miles
from Jimmy Carter's farm and
All the radio stations down here are booting
Rush off the air.
His last day is Fri June 30 (no joke).
What will I do??
I've wasted at least 5hrs/week for 8 years
listening to his crap.
Wait...what does that say about me??
Abigayle
Abigayle,
This is disturbing news, indeed.
I, too, would miss my daily dose of Nazi hate.
I know we'll always have Fox Whore News, and that'll do when
Pigboy's gone,
but Pigboy needs to have that giant ass-whooping before he leaves.
I think Rush will quit after Gore is inaugurated in January.
He'll claim it's he's resigning "to pursue other interests,"
but we all know the real reasons he's getting out:
1. America, even the Nazi right, is growing tired of Piggy, Piggy
one-note.
2. He knows he's got a BartCop-style ass-whooping coming if he
stays.
Koresh, I've been doing this four and a half years.
I thought, someday, I'd get big enough to challenge the Chupacabra,
but nooooooooooooooo. he's going to steal away,
clean as a Nazi whistle.
Somewhere out there, there's a millionaire who wants to see Rush
eat it.
Please, Mr Millionaire, our time is running out.
Unlike his mentor Adolph, Rush won't put a bullet in his brain.
He's going to escape with his hundreds of millions.
Grrrrrrrrr....
Hurry. Mr. Millionaire - contact me right away,
we can't let the bastard get out without his ass-whoopin'
VCR Alert
If you're still doing drugs, or have small children, you might
enjoy the
Rocky and Bullwinkle Marathon on the Cartoon Network
tomorrow.
The funfest starts at 4 PM EST/PST.
It's a three-hour flashback to... I'm not sure what.
They stopped making those cartoons when JFK was president.
I don't know about you, but I'm damn tired of hearing the Republicans
whine about that terrible 4.3 cent gasoline that the bad, bad
president
"rammed down your throats." They're screaming and scheming
to repeal
the most recent federal gas tax, when they have 37 governors
who could
reverse the mugh-higher state tax in a matter of days.
Haven't you Republicans ever heard of the 10th Amendment?
Bob Dole carries a copy of it wherever he goes. Why don't one
of you jump
on a plane and fly to Loserville, FL and ask Bob if you can borrow
his copy?
If that doesn't work, I'll try to crank up the clue generator
and see if we
can't educate some ditto-monkeys into figuring out what you stand
for.
If you Republicans think the price of gasoline is too high,
stop playing politics with those four pennies and ask your state
legislators
to suspend the state taxes and PROVE this is about money, not
politics.
Illinois Governor Ryan has done this, signing a 6-month suspension.
Indiana has signed up for a 60-day suspension.
Good for you!
Now if we can just get "Mr Oil" in Texas to do something besides whine...
The Wizard of Oz (w/Update)
Did you get your new TV Guide with a Republican on it?
I got the one with Rush on the cover - figures.
There are four TV Guides in all, with Dole, Newt and Dan Quayle.
Did you see where Turner Classic Movies is running the Wizard
of Oz movie
with Pink Floyd playing "Dark Side" on one of the audio channels?
The premier is July 3, at 11 PM EST
Click Here for complete info package, with synch instructions, and similarities to watch for.
That takes me back to the dark hours of RL-LNW
Vol 100.
Brrrrr, those were cold days...
If you read Volume 100 in the next few days,
please don't write and tell me your opinion.
I have already been punished for that.
Trap Mail
Subject: You're acting like a Republican
In issue #217 you said,
"Like an idiot, Rocker said next weekend
he's going to take the #7 Train
he made famous to prove to the New Yorkers
that he can take the heat."
Clearly, taking the train would have been
a ridiculous, selfish publicity stunt that
would have been a pain in the ass for all
concerned. You seem to agree that it would
have been the wrong thing to do. But now
you say
"After defiantly vowing to take the No
7 train to Shea Stadium, John Rocker got a ride
to work in a police car. It proves all
redneck-bullies are yellow, girly-man cowards."
So what the hell was the right move??
Steve
Steve,
Have you ever seen Die Hard III?
The bad guy made Bruce Willis go to Harlem and
parade around with a sign that said, "I Hate Niggers."
In both cases, the trick is to not get in that position in the
first place.
He threw down a gauntlet, which I thought was stupid.
Then he had to pick it up and put it back in his pocket, which
was stupid.
Yes, the train idea was everything you and I said it was.
Raceboy was trying to be a macho prick, and he had to back down
like a sheep.
I remember when Dee Dee Meyers first got to Washington
she got some advice from Bush press secretary Marlin Fitzwater:
"You never have to explain something you didn't say."
If Rocker would just stop begging for trouble, it would be slower
finding him.
24 years ago on Saturday Night Live, OJ Simpson said,
"My mouth ain't writin' no checks my body can't cash."
Rocker's mouth keeps writing checks his body can't cash.
He should either turn liberal or have his mouth sewn up.
By the way, you need to oil your trap.
Don't forget!
Only two more days left to win a Free Printer from cunninghamstrikes.com
From: StewartAdler@SE.Boing.com
Subject: Keating
Hey BC -
You may have missed the best line in the
Drudge story about Keating:
"One driving force behind the Keating choice
- Bush's wife!"
Hillary was evil because she dared to give advice to Bill, right?
Stewart
ha ha
Poor Smirk,
All the problems that poor bastard has,
and now this.
Who knew that Pickles really wears the
pants in the family?
Today's Republican Quote
"The Drudge Report?
I don't put much stock in what Matt
Drudge says..."
-- Frank Keating, the man
Drudge says Smirk picked
Battery Night
Nazi has Fastball
New York submits to Rocker's Charm
Begs his forgiveness, asks for another chance.
Rocker sprinted into Shea Stadium at exactly 10
PM last night and tamed New York.
That crowd was as silent as a Republican at an
charity auction for AIDS victims.
Rocker blew past the lineup in the eighth and
became whitey's hero - again.
Watching him mow down the Mets and tame that crowd
put a thud in my stomach.
I felt like I was in Berlin in 1936, watching
Max Schmelling knock out Joe Louis,
watching Jesse Owens stumble and fall, breaking
his jaw in two places,
proving the Hitler/GOP theory that whites are
indeed the superior race.
It almost drove me to drink.
Paula Begala Shoots the Bull
In another ruling, the Court said the Boy Scouts of America may
bar a gay man
from serving as a scoutmaster. What on earth does who you fall
in love with
have to do with being a scoutmaster? If the Scouts want to sit
in moral
judgment of their potential scoutmasters, I suppose that's fine.
But where do
they draw the line? Divorce and remarriage are sins in my church.
Will they bar men who, like Ronald Reagan, are divorced and remarried?
Will they bar men who drink alcohol?
What about men who are rumored to have used illegal drugs in
the past,
but won't answer questions about it today?
ha ha
Like all discrimination, this is stupid. It is mindless. It seeks
to
denigrate and dehumanize people because of an immutable characteristic.
That's what so much of this debate comes down to: Do you think
people
are born gay (or straight), or do we choose? Me, I don't recall
choosing.
I fell in love with a girl, and although her three brothers are
plenty "cute",
they never really moved me the way that girl did. I didn't choose.
I was -- and am -- straight. That's how God made me.
To believe we choose requires you to believe that we sit down
with a pencil
and paper, draw a line down the middle and write the advantages
and
disadvantages of each lifestyle, then choose
Bad Language Alert
Do you remember my religiously-insane friend Papax7?
(He has 7 kids, thus the name)
He writes a Christian version of bartcop.com
Because he's religiously insane, he gets confused a lot.
I half-read his most recent opus, and I chose that word
intentionally.
He writes about things such as "left-wing media bias."
Here's a short clip from Papa's
Cyber Weekly.
MEDIA BIAS
"Under special scrutiny these days, Texas,
which leads the nation in executions.
Another report by the Chicago Tribune
reviews 131 inmates executed by Bush.
It finds dozens of cases in which inmates
were executed despite serious questions
about the competence of their defense
and the reliability of key testimony:
43 included defense lawyers publicly
sanctioned for misconduct; 23 relied on
testimony from jailhouse informants,
among the least credible of witnesses;
40 involved trials in which almost no
defense was even presented....
This issue may dog Bush the entire campaign."
-- NBC reporter Lisa Myers, June 12
Today.
Now, in his own fogged mind, he sees that as "media bias."
But did you notice who wrote the piece?
It was that dirty crack-whore Lisa Myers.
Remember Lisa Myers?
I fucking do.
I also remember she was the most popular bitch at Fox Whore News
just after impeachment. Lisa Myers was the crack-whore that dug
up
Juanita Brodderrick and coerced/begged/paid/cajoled/threatened
her
into making those wild-ass charges from 25 years ago against
Clinton.
(Charges so wild - she never told her husband.
She claims she came home, beaten and raped
by the Lt. Gov of Arkansas
but never mentioned a thing to her husband?
And he never asked?
Must've been a sweet marriage if she came home
all beat-to-hell and
her husband never even asked, "Why the fat
lip, Honey?")
I distinctly remember that dirty, rotten son-of-a-bitch Brit Hume
wearing
a "FREE LISA MYERS" button, because they knew Lisa Myers had
created
some really disgusting and flammable horseshit against Clinton,
who was going
thru a hardon-driven impeachment trial at the time and all those
handjobs at
Fox Whore News were giving each other high fives on how much
fun it
was going to be to watch Clinton squirm while this sick, sick
woman spewed
her paid-for hate against the president who saved us from the
Reagan Error.
Oh, yeah!
Lisa Myers was the toast of Washington DC for weeks and weeks,
playing
the innocent victim because her "Clinton-loving bosses
at NBC refused to
let the truth out to save their friend, the rapist president?"
Sure, Lisa.
We alllllllllll believe the press would rather protect Clinton
than publish
the most explosive story in 234 years of presidential history.
Sure, uh-huh.
NBC felt the Brodderrick charges were baseless innuendo and partisan
bullshit,
but the cock-suckers at Fox Whore News called it, "world-class
journalism,"
so they all wore "FREE LISA MYERS" buttons as a fucking prank
to try to
force NBC to air the Lisa Myers interview with the wild charges.
In my book, that crack-whore Lisa Myers is just as bad as Backdoor
Bettina Gregory.
What could be less professional for a female journalist filing
a report while her
private parts are dripping like a goddamn popsicle while she
makes
shit up trying
to take down a president so she can get her fucking name in a
history book
like Woodward and Bernstein?
...and now, 15 months after Fox Whore News was BEGGING for somebody
to put this disgusting gutter-tramp Myers on the air to spew
her hate and her lies,
we get a lamb like Papax7 using Lisa Myers as an example of left-wing
media mias?
Oh, Papa!
You're taking my nice-vs-smart theory to new heights.
Lisa Myers isn't an example of media bias.
She's an example of a crack-whore, who will sell ANYTHING she
has for a fucking dime.
She's not a liberal, you nut!
If she was a liberal, she wouldn't have tried to fuck Clinton
Try to understand - she'll fuck anything or anyone
for a dime!
That's what whores do - at least the cheap ones.
So, Papa, next time you attack the media, ask yourself:
Are they politically biased?
Or are they just common crack-whores, willing to fuck anything
or anyone?
Lisa Myers is a dirty crack-whore.
Papa, I have one more painful piece of news for you:
Rush, Hannity and Dr Laura?
They are NOT conservatives - they are whores.
They're being paid millions to make shit up.
Millions, papa.
It's just not possible to find Clinton guilty 10,000 times out
of 10,000 charges.
It's not possible, no matter who it is.
Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot were only guilty 3/4 of the time,
but Rupert Murdoch
WILL NOT PAY for stories about Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot.
Rush, Hannity and Dr laura are making millions by pretending.
Say it with me, "pre*TEND*ing."
Sorry to burst your bubble, old buddy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If YOU are religiously insane, or would just like to hear the
rants of someone who is,
send e-mail to papax7@prodigy.net
but if you do, be nice. I've sent a lot of crap
Papa's way over the years, and like a TRUE Christian, he's never
lost his temper
or gotten personal and his cheap shots are always accidental.
Papa reminds me of my US Representative, Steve Largent.
Decent man, great husband, great Dad and family man, but religiously
insane,
and ready and willing to force the "real" God into your life
thru legislation.
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