and submit your idea to bartcop.com.
McCain willing to be Smirk's
Cabanaboy
But wants to be known as "Bendan Spredem"
AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- Everybody's favorite former-hero John McCain
told Tommy Ridge (R-Baby-Killer) that he would be Smirk's date,
IF, he said, IF Smirk asks him reeeeeal nice.
McCain, who has previously ruled out a vice presidential bid,
told Pennsylvania
Gov. Tom Ridge, amid a series of developments abruptly raising
McCain's profile
as Bush draws close to making a decision, officials said.
Two of the sources said Ridge told a senior Bush adviser about
his conversation,
and received a "fat fucking chance" reply from the Smirk camp.
From: revolution.one@worldnet.att.net
Subject: life
There are now three certainties of life:
Death
Taxes
John McCain is
a whore.
Principle has a price after all.
Bart, are we all just whores?
Depressingly,
TommyB
Well, McCain was even before this last rumor started.
If he takes the job, we know he is,
but the jury's still out on the rest of us.
Let's help Smirk name his plane
From: ChrisNoSt@aol.com
Heir Farce One
From: astod@frontiernet.net
air force, not!
white line express
awol airlines
party hardy air
airhead one
"your name here" call 1-800-noseblow
Click Here for the "Name Smirk's plane" contest.
or
and submit your idea to bartcop.com.
From: JennyQ1@aol.com
Subject: Re: It's The Economy, Stupid.
A Princeton Survey found that 39 percent
said the candidate's
"positions on the issues" ranks first,
followed by character, experience,
intelligence, party affiliation, and
choice of vice president.
The one who can scream "UMMIE FINISH!! UMMIE
FINISH!!" the loudest
whilst jumping up and down ranks first
on my list.
ha ha
From: Paulwetor@aol.com
GW Bush was in town recently and look at the article to the right of his picture.
From: Jon_Bastian@paramount.com
Subject: WHAT BEN STEIN SAID ABOUT CLINTON
Bartcop -- much as I'd really, really like
to turn up the dirt to confirm
that Ben Stein is everything you say he
is, I ran across this little snippet,
much to my chagrin. What do you make of
it? I found this at
http://www.soundbitten.com/120299.html
condensed from a "Spin" interview
of Stein. The pertinent bit is extracted
below, in which the interviewer
is talking about a soon to premiere Stein
talk show.
I haven't tracked down the original interview
yet, but this seems to be
getting toward the source of the Clinton
funeral letter story.
12/02/99
Ben Stein Interview
This interview originally appeared, in a
more condensed form, in SPIN.
<snip>
G.B.: Who's your dream guest?
Ben Stein: I would love beyond words
to have Bill Clinton as
a guest. And I'll tell you why, may I?
Because this is kind of interesting.
I write for a very conservative magazine
called the American Spectator.
And I've written many a critical thing
about Bill Clinton.
Many critical things.
My father died eight days ago, last Wednesday.
My father was a famous man, and a great
man.
There were huge obituaries about him in
the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal,
which rarely has obituaries, and the New
York Times, and at his funeral, President Clinton
sent Larry Summers, Secretary of the Treasury,
and Gene Sperling, the head of the
Economic Policy Council, to the funeral,
and sent along with them a personal letter
from Bill and Hillary Clinton, telling
me and my sister how much they respected my father
even though he was a Republican, and how
much they would miss his honest, above-party
analysis of issues.
And I think that was the classiest move
I have ever seen in my life,
and I don't think I will ever say another
critical word about him.
I am so humbled by what a classy gesture
that was,
I can't get quite get it out of my head.
I was quite literally moved to tears
by it and still am -
I carry the letter around with me everywhere
I go
I'm so, so moved by it.
Well, it seems we have a mystery, don't we?
First, in e-mail dated TODAY, he said:
I have no idea of what "bartcop" is
but they made this up.
This is all made up by some sick sad
person.
I never said these things or thought
them and my sister is very much alive, thank God.
Stein is a goddamn speechwriter - he made his living with
words.
He took that talent all the way to the White House, so he's hardly
some bungler,
trying to string words together to form a coherent thought.
He acted like this was all some Greek language opera, and he
didn't understand
what in the world the e-mail could even be talking about
When he had the chance, why didn't he say, "No, the exact opposite is true."
Second, if you've ever heard him talk about Clinton, you
know how
out-of-character the above remarks are for him.
Third, it has been suggested I was "hosed."
No, I read this in the Tulsa World newspaper, so don't think
I was "hosed,"
by some prankster cutting and pasting his words into a fake e-mail.
Fourth, what I read was obviously AFTER his father's death,
otherwise
there'd be no note. So Stein came to this "miracle epiphany"
either before or
after his SPIN interview.
I'll find that column Stein.
It will prove Stein is crazy, dissing Clinton in a column,
then praising him in an interview, all in less than a week?
How crazy is he?
From: artsankey@hotmail.com
Subject: Quick way to piss off Dubya
If you go to www.gopconvention.com,
you can virtually sign a banner
that will be presented to George W. Bush
upon his arrival in Philadelphia.
There are only predetermined greetings
availible, but wait- there is a loophole!
Your name is published below the greeting.
When you register at the site, you can
put in whatever you want as your first and last name.
Political messages, profanity, slander,
whatever you want, can be your name signed to
the greeting banner.
Arthur Sankey
ha ha
I'm there, Dude!
From: Hudly55@aol.com
Subject: McCain V.P.
BC,
Bill Kristol on Chris the Catholic last
night also said that McCain was the
pick and Smirk alluded to it as well. I
was talking to Alaska Tom yesterday
and we both agree that after the coke and
guard thing the press will dismiss
and give G.W. a pass on about anything.
If Bush picks McCain and the bombshells
you say are out there prove to be duds
Bush is the next Prez.
PLEASE BC, YOU PROMISED ME AND YOUR READERS THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN.
Worried in Oregon, Bernie
Bernie, no problemo.
Gore couldn't lose this if he tried.
Hey, Altz@rushonline.com
I can't return mail to you.
Steve Largent (R-Jesus Twin) says he has it on "good authority"
that has agreed to be Smirk's running mate
because the Smirk people say Gore will beat them without McCain.
Largent made the remarks on the K-Drag AM station that airs Pigboy's show.
From: Mshotz@aol.com
Subject: "Dubyah's" new web site has a contest to name his campaign plane!
This is TOOOO good to pass up!
I already entered 'Wanker One"
Lets try for some more...
"Blow Monkey One"
"White Snow One"
"Texas Air National Guard One"
What else?
Let's have some fun and be subversive!
Ediotr's Note: As of 5:42 CST, Smirk's site is DOWN.
Maybe they're working on his resignation speech?
Emmy Talk
From: zepp@snowcrest.net
Subject: Stockyard Channing over Allison Janney?
Surely you've gone mad, BartCop.
"CJ" like Toby, is utterly central to WW.
I like Channing, and like the job she's
done as First Lady, but she's
only been in three eps. Janney is there
every week, with at least five
minutes of camera time. She's usually central
to the main plot.
The woman who plays Sheen's secretary should get some recognition, too.
Allison Janney gets a boost from her utterly chilling performance in "American Beauty".
Zepp
http://www.snowcrest.net/zepp/zeppol.htm
Zepp,
Remember, I said I don't even like Stockard Channing.
Maybe it was the director's work I'm really praising, but when
Channing
made her first appearance, she stole that whole show. I was damn
impressed.
And the MS episode was one of their strongest.
Yes, she's a very small part of the show, but she made a big splash.
Ben Stein Tries to Weasel Out
From: (withheld)
Subject: Ben Stein
bartcop-
Big fan.
I was surprised to see the recent story
about Ben Stein, who I had previously
regarded as a modest comedic talent in
his movie appearances, commercials
and his game show "Win Ben Stein's Money".
I was unaware that he
even wrote for the American Spectator,
and was very disappointed
that he sounded like another knee-jerk
Far Right Republican.
I took it upon myself to send him an email,
calling him out on the issue
of the "Clinton Letter" that was sent to
him offering condolences on his
sister's death, and his reply. I
didn't really expect so much as a "form email"
from his office in reply, so I was quite
astonished to get a reply that was
presumably from Ben Stein himself.
What follows is the text of my original message to him, and the four replies FROM him.
SUBJECT: Comedy or Hatred?
TO: BenStein@aol.com
Ben Stein-
You appear to represent yourself on
Comedy Central and other places as a
fun-loving entertainer. I have
previously enjoyed your "gameshow" and
commercials and movie appearances.
I now hear on bartcop.com that you have
a political hatred for our President
which seems to be genuine, as opposed
to the cowardly copout that other
comedians usually use when asked point-blank
about their material,
i.e. "It's just a JOKE!"
Here's an excerpt of what I read.
"After the death of my sister, I was surprised to get a personal
note
from the president. After all the things I had written
about him and
his lack of morals and ethics, and what a dispicable
bastard he was,
the man took time out from his busy schedule to write me a personal
note. This was very unexpected. The president didn't need to
send me
this note of condolence, especially after all the
terrible things I'd
written about him. I was very surprised to hear anything
from the
White House, much less getting a beautiful, hand-written note,"
Nothing wrong with that, certainly.
But THEN the story goes, you went on to
say THIS:
"It just proves that no matter how evil and horrible a man truly
is, no matter
how many women he's raped, beaten and destroyed, somewhere,
deep, deep,
deep, deep, deep down, even the most vile of vicious scumbag
rapists must
have a sliver of decency buried somewhere."
Is this TRUE? Did you say that? Do you honestly BELIEVE any of that?
If so, you deserve everything that's being said about you on the
'net.
I'm interested in hearing back from you, copout or not.
I then listed your website as the source of the story, then signed
my name and city.
Within two hours, I received these four replies (his
words are marked in red),
as if he was hurrying thru a stack of emails, and answering them
quickly before he went to bed:
REPLY (1)
"After the death of my sister, I was surprised to get a personal
note
from the president. After all the things I had written
about him and
his lack of morals and ethics, and what a dispicable
bastard he was,
the man took time out from his busy schedule to write me a personal
note. This was very unexpected. The president didn't need to
send me
this note of condolence, especially after all the
terrible things I'd
written about him. I was very surprised to hear
anything from the
White House, much less getting a beautiful, hand-written
note,"
>>
This is made up. I did not write this.
REPLY (2) Nothing wrong with that, certainly. But
THEN the story goes, you went on to say THIS:
"It just proves that no matter how evil and horrible a man truly
is,
no matter how man women he's raped, beaten and destroyed,
somewhere, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, even
the most vile of
vicious scumbag rapists must have a sliver of decency buried
somewhere."
>>
I have no idea of what "bartcop" is
but they made this up.
REPLY (3)
This is all made up by some sick sad
person.
I never said these things or thought
them and my sister is very much alive, thank God.
REPLY (4)
<< I now hear on bartcop.com
>>
What is bartcop?
Now surely someone as "smart" as Ben Stein
claims to be would be able to figure out
how to type in "bartcop.com" in his browser
to find out, but he apparently did not.
So now I'm confused. Would you please
post a link to anything you have on Ben Stein
that I can refer back to? If he said
these things, then he is as despicable as you say.
He is also a liar. I would like to
throw his own words back in his face,
if you can provide me the online documentation.
Thanks in advance for any help.
(if you decide to post any of this on your
site, please call me "DFL".)
Sincerely,
DFL
DFL,
Ben Stein is lying very selectively.
What he did was deny that every word was exactly true.
Since his sister is still alive, that gave him the out to say,
"I didn't write that."
He's answering the question the way Clinton did with Monica,
dancing around the truth until he can be nailed exactly.
But Clinton was afraid of being caught with Monica.
What is Ben Stein so afraid of?
If he had any honesty at all, he would've answered this way:
Yes, when my (whoever) died, I got a nice, personal note from
Clinton.
Yes, I despise him and everything he stands for.
Yes, I hate his guts.
Yes, I attacked Clinton's character in the column where I
disclosed
that he sent me a nice, personal note about my (whoever.)
That would've made his position clear and settled the issue.
But no.
He's playing "Tommy Dimwit."
Since his sister is still alive, he chose to play stupid and ignore
everything
you were asking.
I don't expect him to know what a "bartcop" is, but if
it had been me, I would've taken
the time to answer your letter instead of sending four
e-mails with half-denials.
I've been searching for that column.
If it can be located, the reader can decide if I stretched the
truth.
Granted, Stein didn't say "deep, deep, deep, deep down,"
but anyone who can read his column and disagree with my
characterization of it gets a free car.
You know, Ben Stein can be as big a prick as he wants - that's
OK.
It's OK to hate Clinton with every hair on your head, too.
But when an enemy extends his hand at a funeral, so to speak,
it takes a real son-of-a-bastard to blow snot on his hand.
That's what pissed me off.
Ben Stein is a psycho jackass
by Lukas Hauser
Holy shit, do I hate Ben Stein!
This self-absorbed, utterly idiotic
"smart guy" is a chump. Unaware that the whole
world dislikes him, Ben Stein goes
throughout his life thinking that he got where he
got because he's intelligent and
hardworking. Naw, Ben, we're laughing at you.
Fellow chump and Time writer-at-large
Joel Stein writes about the unrelated Ben
in this week's issue. Some juicy
tidbits emerge:
Although left-leaning in college,
the whining Stein for some reason
converted to retard Republicanism
and joined the Nixon White House
as a speechwriter. After Nixon resigned
in disgrace, Stein was fired
from the Ford administration for
crying.
Stein moved from Washington to Los
Angeles and became a
Penthouse columnist, where he met
up with auteur director John Hughes
who hired him for the life-changing
Ferris
Bueller's Day Off.
But the highlight was Stein's cluelessness:
"When Stein received applause from the crew
members," Joel Stein
writes in Time, "he figured it was
for successfully explaining the
Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act, but they
were just impressed that he could
act so boring." What a sucker!
Stein is a fucking jackass. He gets his
feewings so hurt every time he
loses on "Win Ben Stein's Money" that
his therapist wrote him a
self-affirming little note which he carries
in his wallet at all times:
"This
game does not measure your real intelligence,
which no one would ever question."
Hey Stein!
I got news for you. *I* am questioning your intelligence,
you moron.
From: http://www.fair.org
Ben Stein: TV's Two-Faced Pundit
CNN Crossfire on Gary Hart and the Media (5/12/87)
Host Tom Braden: Ben Stein is a media critic
in Los Angeles, and I'd like to ask him...
does a candidate's private life have any bearing
on what he does as a private official?
Ben Stein: Absolutely. If you have a presidential
candidate who is having a different
girlfriend every week or sometimes a couple of
times a week for 12 or 14 years,
you have a person whose mental health is at issue....
Braden: Do you think [asking candidates if they've ever committed adultery] is a good idea?
Stein: I think that the press and the service
it performed last week, in telling us about
Gary Hart, that was one of the highest moments
of the press' utility.
Braden: How far would you have the press
go? Would you say that a candidate should
ever be asked if he's ever had a homosexual experience?
Stein: Absolutely, as far as I'm concerned.
Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.
Then....
CNN Crossfire on Dan Quayle
and the Media (8/19/88)
Tom Braden: Mr. Stein, as a media critic,
do you think the media was fair in going after
Senator Quayle on the subject of Paula Parkinson?
Ben Stein: Absolutely not. I think that
if they started going after all the presidential candidates
on the subject of their sex lives, they could
really talk about very little else. I think it's just
a very dangerous subject for the Democrats to
open, or for anyone to open,
and it's a complete irrelevancy as well.
A typical Ben Stein column in the American Spectator
From: (withheld)
Subject: The big mouth.
There are stories of Rush not being able to sire a child.
Did you hear about him being the communication boy for the Royals in
the 80s?
He used to hang around the shower area and this made some of the guys
uncomfortable.
He talks about George Brett all the time he especially liked to watch
him
get dressed and talk to him after the games. Then
he got fired.
I guess they got tired of his starring at them in the lockers.
Then the 2 marriages which ended one of the ex's said he couldn't keep
it up.
The other was bought off by his father.
Then he meets Marta who was married when they started playing
on the computer.
They marry and Rush wants to father a child. Can't
get the job done.
So he goes to the fertility clinic they ask for a sperm sample.
They offer a Playboy, but he instead gets the Sports Illustrated with
John Elway on the cover.
Why doesn't he just have Larry King stop by Florida for the week end?
ha ha
Guilty Smirk
From: j_gmonaghan@prodigy.net
Subject: Web Counter
How is it that every time i go from one subject to another on your site,
it is counted as another hit, on the site. Neat count you Commie
Coc- suck--
I bet you will teach the new generation the
John J. Monaghan, Jr.
This Just In...
from Smokin' Joe Conason
From: PiccoloGT15@aol.com
Subject: Did you ever think...
Bartcop,
If no one has died in the military while
Clinton has been in charge,
doesn't that mean that Shrub has overseen
more American deaths than Clinton?
Regards,
Piccolo
Piccolo, good point.
The number of people that Smirk has executed is more than 130.
The number that Clinton has sent into combat who didn't come
home is zero.
I was educated by Catholics, but isn't 130 greater than
zero?
I predict no other president this century will have zero military deaths.
Rush accused Israel's Prime Minister Barak of selling out for a mere $40 million.
Isn't that cheap?
I'll bet there are at least five wholesale diamond merchants in
Israel
that have $40,000,000 worth of diamonds in there vaults right
now.
...and Rush says Barak will sell out Israel's security for that?
Either that's true, or the vulgar Pigboy is lying...
Houston's air quality today is rated UNHEALTHY.
I'm not sure who wrote this, but it's good:
Drunken Psychopath
To give a few aggravating examples from the current year..
Traficant voted for the Republican FY 2001 federal budget.
He supported the abolition of the estate
tax, which will primarily
help millionaires who should be taxed
more rather than less
He is a solid vote for the NRA..
He voted for a big $$$$$$$$$ corporate
welfare for the oil industry..
He opposed clean air standards, clean
water standards, and supported
unrestricted timber
clear cutting in America's national forests.
He has moved to a "pro-life" position on abortion rights policy.
He supported the minimal GOP prescription drug program.
He aggressively supports bigger tax cuts for corporate business..
The House Republican leadership loves Traficant,
and Traficant would
be right at home in
the House Republican cloakroom!
Question for the Ohio Democratic Party:
Why are you letting this man vote against you?
From: randy@e-jam.net
Subject: Uh - I'm confused
Drudge report headline was "Camp David Breakdown,"
then links to this news article:
http://news.excite.com/news/r/000719/23/mideast-summit
The above article says that the summit ends in failure.
Then I go to CNN and USA Today and they both say
that the
summit is continuing in Clintons absense, being
mediated by Albright.
They wanted so bad to pull that 'failure' trigger,
that they jumped on it maybe a tad too quick
:
)
I know the chances of a successful resolution
are very slim, but
at least Clinton had the balls to take it on,
and at least try.
Isn't it Rush that is always harping on how people
should give
110% in their job, and if they fail, that it's
just a learning
experience, and they should go on trying until
they succeed?
But as always, when it comes to Clinton, hate
transcends any reason or logic.
Randy, good point.
USA Today had the same blaring headline:
T A L K S F A I L!
USA Today will pretend their early deadline caused that, but
could've said,
"Progress Elusive" or something less flammable, but they are whores.
Whores exist to make money - that's their function.
Drudge is just a lousy shit with Clinton-hating contacts.
David Brock explained it all in his article, below.
Great Pigboy Quotes
"I'd like to get off the Hillary "fucking
Jew bastard" story, but I just can't."
We know, Rush, and we appreciate it.
Reminder: Since Rush has been the voice of the GOP, we've
held the White House.
That crude, Nazi hate sends people running to the Democrats.
This will continue, I guarantee it.
From: dave@landru.dac.uga.edu
Subject: Comedy
You had a sizable section of your page devoted to comedy today,
and I
wanted to recommend to you one of the funniest and most creative
things
I've ever seen by a comedian. Dana Gould did a thing, I
guess you'd call
it a short film, speculating on what it would have been like
if JFK and
Jim Morrison had been the same person.
Gould plays the Kennedy/Morrison character as a conglomerate of
the two,
so he's this guy in an expensive suit, swaggering around distractedly,
reciting strings of non sequiturs disguised as poetry in a New
England accent,
and interacting with other politicians as Morrison might have.
Funny stuff.
If you have a video store that specializes in foreign, arty,
and hard to find stuff, they probably have it. It's well
worth the search.
Dave
Confessions of a Former
Gutter Whore by David Brock.
Yes, that David Brock.
This is really good.
From: jbhigdon@townsend.com
Subject: Slate
Bartcop:
Man, you were right about Slate.
They've got a article about Al Gore's position on Victim's Rights,
and the link is titled "Al Gore's Victims."
They also feature a commentary saying that it must be true about Hillary's
racial slur.
Their reasoning? Since she initially said that she did not recall
the incident,
and then Bill made a statement saying that he recalled it and the slur
wasn't made,
so she must have been lying when she said she didn't remember.
If she lied about whether or not she remembered the argument,
she must be lying about the slur.
I'm not sure I understand the leap that says if Bill remembered,
Hillary had to remember it too. Oh, I see...
We're on to a whole new conspiracy theory here!
My, God! That must be it!
Hillary and Bill are the SAME person!
After all, have you ever seen the two of them to-....
Oh, wait a minute... I have seen the two of them together.
Never mind.
Jim H.
From: (withheld)
Subject: Prayer at the Convention
During the GOP Convention in 1996, Rush,
Paul Harvey, and other brain-damaged
individuals were aghast that the networks
were cutting away from floor coverage of
the proceedings before the final benediction
each night. ABC, NBC, and CBS would
cut to Jennings, Brokaw, etc. for analysis
instead of showing America that Republicans
can still recite their prayers after drinking
all that liquor.
"NBC thinks Tom Brokaw is more important than God." fumed Rush.
I heard it all day long on hate radio on the Tuesday after the first day of the convention.
So on Tuesday night of the convention, I
cut over Pat Robertson's Family Channel,
which also had wall-to-wall convention
coverage, so I could watch the Republicans pray.
But they didn't show the benediction; the
Family Channel cut right out of convention
coverage to something more important than
God -- THE THREE STOOGES.
I never heard Rush accuse Pat Robertson
of thinking that Larry, Curly, and Moe
are more important than the Holy Trinity,
so I'm assuming he said it while I was at work.
Good one!
That reminds me of Pat Robertson's whining that nobody
would watch his stupid
channel because they were all so prejudiced against religious
programming.
But when he put the Three Stooges on, ratings went up 40 %.
Only one thing gets higher ratings than the Three Stooges - lesbians.
From: jsw1@hotmail.com
Subject: Ponzi schemes
BC,
Had a thought.
Republicans hate Social Security so much, referring to it as
a Ponzi scheme.
However, they're such big supporters of an ever BIGGER and
more obvious Ponzi scheme
....AMWAY products.
Jeff Williams
Why I Left the GOP
by Sue Giffrow
Hire BartCop Only days left
A Solution for Jerusalem
One of the biggest barriers to peace in the middle east is the
issue
of who gets Jerusalem. Jerusalem is the holy city to Jews, Muslims
and Christians and other religions, all of which would like to
have
control over it. Muslims can't allow Jews to control their holy
city,
and Jews can't allow Muslims to control their holy city.
Splitting the city doesn't satisfy either side.
So what do you do?
I would like to propose a unique alternative.
I suggest making Jerusalem its own sovereign nation not controlled
by any
one religion or one nation, but run by an organization of leaders
from several
religions for the sole purpose of keeping Jerusalem open, accessible,
and safe
for everyone to come and worship in the manner they choose. By
becoming
a sovereign nation, Jerusalem would be neutral territory, the
property
of both no one and everyone. The leaders who run it will be chosen
for the sole purpose of keeping it universally open and safe
for everybody.
I think this is the only real solution. Neither side is going
to give
their holiest city to someone else. If there's going to be peace
then
they are going to have to share. I think the best way to share
is
if Jerusalem is owned by no one, yet accessible to all. I have
not
yet heard anyone suggest the idea of an independent state of
Jerusalem
so I offer it as a logical solution. I suggest that peace in
Jerusalem
would honor God more than fighting a battle that can never be
won.
Marc Perkel
http://www.perkel.com
-- index to my web site
http://www.churchofreality.org
-- Church of Reality
From: sniper@cei.net
Subject: GEE-ORGIE DUMBWA
Hey BC,
Saw an ad for ol' George last night.
He was talkin 'bout what he would do for edukation.
How we have sooo many problems in our schools.
Guess what, not a single white kid in that commercial;.
They were all black and brown.
So, does that mean white kids got no problems?
Or that all the problem kids are black and brown??
Sonny Scott
The 2000 Emmy Awards
From: efestag@mail.alac.org
To: rush@eibnet.com
Subject: Ronald Reagan had good intentions
Rush:
He tripled our national debt in 8 years....
But his intentions were good.
He got 217 Marines killed in Beirut....
But his intentions were good.
His economic policies brought on the 1987 stock market crash....
But his intentions were good.
He defied the World Court over the issue of mining Nicaraguan
harbors....
But his intentions were good.
He issued a slap in the face to World War II servicemen by honoring
SS dead at Bitburg....
But his intentions were good.
He sold weapons to Iranian terrorists....
But his intentions were good.
He encouraged the kind of contempt for government that resulted
in the Oklahoma City bombing....
But his intentions were good.
His first act in office was to remove the solar collectors from
the roof of the White House....
But his intentions were good.
He kept having his people indicted out from under him, at least
138 running afoul of the law....
But his intentions were good.
He kept pushing nuclear power after Three Mile Island happened
under Carter....
But his intentions were good.
He believed in the Second Coming and considered expediting it,
by nuclear means if necessary....
But his intentions were good.
He supported the murderous Contras by making an end run around
democratic channels....
But his intentions were good.
He thought trees caused more air pollution than human activities....
But his intentions were good.
He forgot about his support for abortion as Gov. of California
in order to satisfy the Religious Right....
But his intentions were good.
YEAH, RUSH, REAGAN'S THE MAN!!!!!
You'd probably like to see him cloned so we can have more of
him.
Eckhard Festag
Every day now,
after the others have left,
Smirk has some black kids brought in so
Filmboy can verify Smirk's compassion for minorities.
Remember in 1996, the GOP hired their own network?
Amway Products gave Snoop gazzilions of dollars to buy hours and
hours
of network time (USA Network, was it?) so their precious message
wouldn't
be soiled by the liberal opinions of those "Clinton lap dogs"
of the media?
I guess this year they have the Fox shills to cheer for them.
Remember in '96, Snoot hired focus groups to watch the GOP coverage,
and their own focus groups kept asking Snoot, "Why all the hate?"
ha ha
Do you think they've learned anything since 1996?
Not on your life.
More Ben Stein
Also, and this is going to be in my column
in The Spectator but I'll let you in on it,
Bill Clinton is a murderer. I think
he murdered those people in Iraq to divert attention
from his political problems. I don't think
that all those people in Iraq needed to die.
At least, certainly not when they did.
He just killed them to distract people from
the impeachment, and that's murder.
If he'd really meant to go in there and
take out Saddam Hussein and create a safer
Middle East, a peaceful Middle East, that's
one thing.
But it was all just cosmetics to show off
his toughness.
Oh, go fuck yourself.
Reagan invaded the Island of Grenada, and
it wasn't to save the nutmeg crop.
Reagan risked those lives to cover his
Beruit massacre where 220 men died.
You're so quick to ignore OUR dead, but
when an Iraqi soldier bites it,
you start screaming "murderer" at the guy
you can beat in the voting booth?
You've got a really selective way of picking
your murderers, asshole.
If you were a pacifist decrying all
the innocent dead you'd have half-a-point.
But you don't mind dead innocents when
Reagan gave the orders.
That proves you're just a little partisan
shitboy.
Everyone says, "Oh, it's Wag The Dog."
It isn't Wag The Dog, because nobody got
killed in Wag The Dog.
In this sad story, a lot of people got
killed.
Those Iraqi soldiers who were there, they
don't necessarily deserve to die just
because they're wearing an Iraqi uniform.
They're not wearing it voluntarily.
This asshole didn't mind when Smirk Daddy's bungling put 550,000
men in the desert.
He didn't mind Butch raining missles down on Baghdad to cover
up that blunder.
He didn't mind the hundreds of Iraqi civilian casualties in that
military action.
He didn't mind Reagan's F-111's killing Khadafy's daughter -
no, those don't count,
because they've got nothing to do with Clinton's cock.
Bush killed thousands of civilians, and this prick is crying for
Iraqi soldiers because
"they don't deserve to die just because
they're wearing an Iraqi uniform?"
Jesus Christ, the shit Clinton would've gotten if he secretly
armed a terrorist country
and had to pardon his friends to escape clean - then holes like
this would squeeeeeeel.
But the Reagan-Butch felonies?
We don't look at them - nooooooooooooooooooo.
They get a free pass
from crooked bastards like this Stein fellow.
When we want to "save the children," we check Clinton's parking
meter, and if a
Scaife employee thinks they may've seen a flag, this ditto-monkey
congress calls for
hearings, puts them on television, and the press whores go along
for the silly ride
because it beats working.
Comedy
Have you noticed how terrible Leno's monologs have been lately?
Koresh, the tourist-audience isn't even laughing.
Poor Jay, semi-losing his composure, too.
A joke will bomb, he'll rush the next one - it bombs, so he forces
some chatter with Kevin, which sometimes works, but did you catch
the "pissed off" rut he got into Tuesday and attributed to Kevin's
dad?
There was a nervous hush in the air that wasn't funny.
Plus, again and again, over and over, Jay's doing these potty
jokes,
and fart jokes and in the LA water example, drink-urine jokes
one after another.
Remember? He did ten drink-urine jokes in just three
shows.
Poor Jay.
Whatever he's lost, I hope he gets it back.
Letterman has been pretty good lately, but seems like
he's always got the week off, while Jay is cranking out new shows.
Jon Stewart continues to impress every night.
He never flubs a line, which is almost impossible to do, and
his interviews are the best!
He actually listens to the guest, and they'll sometimes even
have a conversation instead
of running down the list of questions. he's so damn quick, too.
And maybe I'm crazy, but the quests seem smarter on The Daily
Show.
But the best performance I think I've ever seen have been the
last half-dozen
Dennis Miller shows. I'm not saying the jokes themselves
were always 10's,
but there's never been a comedian more at ease in his skin than
Miller.
He mentioned getting hair plugs, and accidentally pulling on them
during a recent monolog.
What other star or comic would mention his new hairplugs like
that?
Especially since Miller is a nice looking man - he's no Carrottop.
He stands there so naked, so willing to drop all the walls and
just talk.
He's in the moment, then out of it, then commenting on the moment
but the
miracle is how the audience is with his every breath. I'll
bet there are times when
Dennis starts doing the voices and stuff that it surprise him
as much as us.
I've seen Jimmy Page do the same thing.
I've seen him stare blankly at the guitar while he's playing
as if to say,
"Damn, that guy's pretty good," like he watching
his
hands the same way we were.
Sorry, that was probably deeper than it needed to get, but that
blank-factor,
or the no-walls whatever you call it is such a non-planned
thing by definition.
Chris Rock still wears the crown, and he's faster than hell with
a slash,
but Rock isn't on the same high wire that Miller is.
Miller's got a great show Friday.
Michael Imperioli (Christopher Moltisanti on the Sopranos) is
on.
I hope Dennis doesn't ask any questions that make Michael launch!
I don't know if it's his last show or he has another one or two,
but Chris Rock premiers in August - just in time!
Regular Weekly-Daily Stand-UpComic Rankings:
1. Chris Rock
2. Dennis Miller
3. Jon Stewart
4. Letterman.
5. Bill Maher
6. Colin Quinn
7. Leno
8. somebody else
9. somebody else
more
58 Martin Short
Of course, this list doesn't include recent giants like Pryor,
Sam Kinison,
the great Bill Hicks, who I just got a mountain of, and
Lenny Bruce.
And it doesn't include Drew Carey and Norm McDonald - sit-com
folk.
You have to put stand-up (or desk) comedy by itself.
A while back someone said I reminded them of Bill Hicks.
I took that as a big compliment.
I have downloaded a mountain of Bill Hicks, and hooo boy!
I saw Rush's name on a bit, so I grabbed it first and ...hello?
He does a thing about Rush naked in a tub with various GOP types
doing
bad, bad stuff and it's really too strong to put on display here
at the treehouse,
which is surprising cause pretty much anything goes, right?
ha ha
Not this..
I mean, some of you extra-straight types get on me about my language,
well, you should hear what Bill Hicks did to the Pigboy.
Hoo Boy!
That Bill Hicks - he told it like he saw it.
Hoo Boy!
He makes Russell Simmon's Def Jam seem so "G-Rated."
But wait - would a small snippette offend too much?
If I could find a piece that technically only has one semi-evil
word and ...
&#@&?(@% - there got it!
Click Here
for a short, sanitized version.
...makes you realize how clean Ol' BartCop is working,
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