From: (withheld)
Bartcop, you said,
> The Reagan apologists claim credit for the fall of Communism, too.
> Boy, success has a hundred fathers, doesn't it?
I guess that means Beirut was an orphan?
BA
Wow!
I don't remember seeing Beirut during the Reagan tribute.
Do you think they forgot?
No, they're hoping we forget.
They also wish we'd forget one of Reagan's best quotes concerning
the 220 men
who died in the barracks bombing in Lebanon. These men were housed
on land
against the wishes of the commanders in the field on the President's
orders.
It was called a "symbolic gesture" at the time.
As he explained to the widow of a fallen soldier at the funeral,
"We tried to get the concrete barriers installed in time to
save them,
but it's like the kitchen cabinets.
No matter how early you order them, they always show
up late."
Sidebar:
I can't prove Reagan said that,
but he did.
To the person who sent me that flame-thrower/hammer-smashing program,
that totally destroyed everything on your screen if you fired
long enough?
...what's the name of that file, again?
Hurry!
ha ha
Republican Def-Jam?
ha ha
Great Pundit Quotes
"Impeachment didn't destroy Bill Clinton.
It destroyed Newt Gingrich."
-- Bill Schneider (N-Less whore than some)
The Toughest Sign Seen Tonight
Restore
Military
Morale
ha ha
This is the party of passion?
10:28
Great Cro-Mag Quotes
"They don't need me."
--Dick Armey, when asked by Judy Woodruff why
he wasn't speaking at this celebration
of Republican renewal.
How do you spell "LIE?"
"If George W. Bush is a reformer, I'm
an astronaut!"
The John McCain figure on March 1, 2000
"George W. Bush is the real reformer."
The John McCain figure on August 1, 2000
10:21
Candy the Whore
"I'm soooo impressed with this professional,
smooth,
exciting, heart-warming, emotional,
educational, honest show
the Republicans have given us,
...as a gift to America."
Candy, who slept with you to get you to say that?
10:10
Great Lying McCain Quotes
"We can always sleep soundly,
knowing we didn't give in."
ha ha
John, is that lipstick you're wearing?
Did they make you wear the dress?
ha ha
(clear throat...)
Johnny, no kidding, you broke our hearts.
A real war hero, who stood tall, and stood for something.
I said good things about you back around Vol
151 The Pink-Ass Sissy
But then you went to Carolina, John,
.....and you turned whore.
You should be so ashamed of yourself.
You could've won it all, John.
You were bigger than Bart Starr - then you turned you back on
all minorities
everywhere when you said Carolina could keep slaves if they wanted.
What the fuck were you thinking?
Did John McCain Throw the
2000 Election?
The Big Story,
Part !!
ha ha
That's all they can say on CNN.
"McCain, the whore sell-out, sold out like a whore tonight."
Fans Disappointed!
McCain insists he's Bush's cabanaboy,
and if you look reeeeeal close,
......you can see he's favoring one cheek.
ha ha
Wait!
Now McCain says he didn't say what he said!
Huh?
Great Under-the-Table Quotes
"This wasn't the Straight Talk Express.
This was the Oblique Talk Express."
-- Bernard Shaw, (R-Wet Pants) after the McCain
dive!
9:40
Chuck Hagel
(picture not available)
What was his point?
Could somebody crank up the clue generator so I can get
some idea what the hell Chuck Hagel was talking about?
He started chanting...
"Des-tin-y!
Des-tin-y!
No escaping des-tin-y!"
Wait, ...isn't that Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein?
"Des-tin-y!
Des-tin-y!
No escaping des-tin-y!"
I think it is...
9:45
Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
Oh, Christ, my bullshit-detector just shook so hard it fell off
the table.
McCain must be ready to tell a whopper!!
...wait for it.....
...here it comes,
"Ladies and gentlemen, I stand here before
you tonight,
I promise you,
If you give up soft money from the corporate
intrests,
you'll know a happiness more sublime
than pleasure."
ha ha
What the fuck does that mean?
"Happiness more sublime than pleasure?"
No, thanks!
I'll take the chicken enchiladas and two shots of Chinaco
Anejo.
ha ha
"Happiness more sublime than pleasure?
Sounds like Leno doing a bad Monica joke!
ha ha
Make him stop!
9:32
Bag O!!!
Damn, Bag O was only on for 45 seconds, at least on CNN.
I hate it when Candy Crowley (R-CNN) lies thru her damn teeth.
I used to like her, but in 1998, when she pulled Clinton's
zipper down,
and reached into his pants and fished around for his cock, I
lost all
respect for her, and now she's at it again, fawning over the
Reagan film.
Candy, can't you stop pretending you're a Fox News Whore?
8:50
The Reagan Video
Koresh!
The whole thing looked like pictures on a Post Office wall.
They started with the shooting, caused by the GOP being a whore.
for whatever wild-ass policy the NRA decides they can live with
when it comes to regulating cheap fucking handguns.
Wanted - for pandering!
They mentioned the Challenger explosion, caused by Ronald
Reagan's staff!
Remember, the State of the Union was later that night.
Florida said they weren't ready to launch, but the White House
told them,
"The President is counting on you. The speech is tonight."
...so, they went with throttle up.
Did he ever feel even just a little bit guilty for rushing that launch?
Wanted - for Depraved Indifference!
ha ha
You know I can honestly say I've never lost
a trial where I've filed "Depraved Indifference" Per Dictum?
ha ha
Then, Reagan the Wizard making the Berlin Wall fall because,
well, by God, he just demanded it and nobody fucks with
Reagan!
At least that's the reason the Republicans give when you ask
them.
Wanted - for spending America to near-bankruptcy to fight
an enemy that was falling apart right before our very eyes.
The Reagan apologists claim credit for the fall of Communism,
too.
Boy, success has a hundred fathers, doesn't it?
I guess, then, Beruit was an orphan?
Y'know, the sun rose in the East during the Reagan Administration.
So, I guess we should thank Bonzo's smarter co-star?
Then, the tragedy at Reyjavik, where Nancy's goddamn astrologer
gave
America permission to close the deal, when Mars alligned with
Jupiter.
Wanted - for reckless endangerment, for allowing a fucking
snake-handling
star-gazer to be instrumental in plotting our goddamn future.
When it was over, 8-Wives asked Tennesse Tuxedo why Reagan was
so believable.
Tux said it was because Reagan really believed that shit
he talked.
Oh, please!!!!
What a crock of horseshit!
Do you think the FACT that Reagan was a professional ACTOR
might've had ANYTHING to do with his believability before
a camera?
Then they called Nancy, "The one true love of his life!"
Hey, she was wife #2, OK?
If he didn't love Spock's mother, he shouldn't have married her.
Christ, I wish I had more time.
I can't type as far as they lie!
I need a staff.
8:41
Wacky Pataki?
What's he doing there?
Why isn't he in the dog house?
Oh, is it because he's pro-choice?
ha ha
The pro-choicers all get to speak at Nazi-Con 2000.
Wow!
That takes balls, reminding everybody which party
had the only president so crooked, he'd have to resign.
Wait!
They just mentioned the "successful" Mayaguez rescue.
We lost 40 marines in that "success."
Why would......
Oh, I forgot!
No Clinton's cock - no foul!
They'd ALWAYS rather they die in a "successful" GOP war,
than have Clinton pull off a "no casualties" war.
WHAT???????
Now they gave Ford credit
for the Camp David accords.
I could SWORN that was Carter...
8:38
Who's the white guy?
C-Span's the only network watching him...
8:30
Don Regan!
Hey, Don!
What time do you have?
ha ha ha ha
Look!
It's former-Choco-Chief-of-Staff Baker!
He's the guy who told Reagan what his crimes were!!
Who's that old Hound Dog?
Why, that's no hound dog - that's Tennessee Tuxedo!!!
8:25
The Lick!
Larry 8-wives is throwing him softballs, as always.
Larry, don't let him leave!
Ask him which night he's anchoring!!!
Boy, so far it's nothing like last night.
A super-short speech from Norm, and a shorter one from Dole.
...eh?
What's that?
...my sources tell me the Smirk camp has a small campfire going,
out back,
and they've put a couple of small branding irons into the fire
to warm up.
Is McCain in the house?
ha ha
They say when the human ass gets branded,
the smell never really goes away.
ha ha
I wouldn't know?
Does it, Smirk?
Switching back & forth between CNN & Fox, I notice that
Fox Whore News's signal is behind CNN's signal, a second or two
late.
...figures.
8:08
Bob Dole!!
I thought he was dead!
Is this really him?
"It's not too late for a recount..."
ha ha
That's Bob Dole.
"Inspire unborn generations?"
How do you do that, Bob?
"The path thru the stars?"
How do you do that, Bob?
I see he still has that saaaaaaame speechwriter...
ha ha
Dole just thanked the people of "Kans."
Do us a favor, Bob, and get off the stage before you
screw up and make us hate you all over again.
8:05
Stormin'
Don't tell too many lies, OK Norman?
He's honoring Smirk daddy!
Somebody wake up President Butch!
Celebrity Mail
From: Dave Gonzo
Subject: don't we wish
"Madame Secretary, the great state of Oklahoma,
sick of being called 'the Knuckledrag
State,'
fed up with Uncle OJ Watts,
nauseated by Senator Pissquick,
totally ashamed of the fake compassion
shoved down our throat last night,
tells Dubya he can stick it in his nose
with Newt's coke spoon and
casts all its votes for the next President
of the United States,
.....Al Gore..."
(Editor's Note: Dave, of course, is a Senior Fellow at
American Politics Journal Institute)
It's almost 8 PM.
Have they done anything yet?
Look!
It's George P. Bush, lying his ass off!!!
He just told 8-Wives he was a "free agent" and looked into being
a
Democrats OR a Republican, and was undecided, but when he say
his
Uncle Smirk's "great accomplishments," he knew he had to turn
GOP.
HE IS TELLING A BIGGER LIE THAN CLINTON EVER DID!
Subject: Guyz in
orange caps
CNN was talking about Bush's secret convention floor police, the
guys in
the orange caps. They were there to make sure the Christians
didn't
embarrass Bush when the gay republican congressman was speaking.
Got to go, someone's at the door.
Oh my God!
The guyz in the orange caps have come to take me away!
Got you hit the send button!
There!
ha ha
Like Gorby, getting that last e-mail sent!
TODAY'S RUMOR
Philly is buzzing at the rumor Smirk brought his branding
iron.
Picture from Vol
146 - You Can Indict My Pig
Rumor has it Smirk has snuck into town early.
While former-hero McCain is giving his speech, troops loyal to
Smirk
are going to sneak up behind him and REMOVE HIS PANTS!!!.
...'em panties, too.
While McCain has his underwear around his ankles, Smirk's boys
will hold him down
like a Texas steer while Smirk burns the "Double B" Butch
Brand into his ass!
Flaw in the plan?
They want to do this early in the speech, so the humiliated,
pantsless McCain
has to give the rest of his speech in tears, with a burning ass-cheek.
When he finishes, Smirk is expected to refer to McCain as "my
bitch."
Don't Miss This!!
The Philadelphia Story
- Part 2
Exclusive for bartcop.com
Readers
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
Gen. Powell gave the best Democratic speech of the year.
He called for spending more on classrooms and spending more
on teachers -- which is the Gore education agenda.
He said every child should have health care -- which stands in
sharp
contrast to W's record of opposing Children's Health Insurance.
He said
we should stop building prisons and start building kids -- of
course,
Bush doesn't just want more prisons, he wants more death chambers.
Powell said that kids belong not only to their parents, but to
all of us -- sounds more
like Hillary Clinton's "It Takes a Village" than George W's Village
Idiot campaign.
Powell told the delegates that the party should endorse affirmative
action.
He didn't mince words, striking at the heart of the GOP, saying:
"Some in our party miss no opportunity to roundly and loudly
condemn affirmative
action that helped a few thousand Black kids get an education,
but hardly a whimper
is heard from them over affirmative action for lobbyists who
load our federal tax codes
with preferences for special interests.... it doesn't work."
Yes!
By the way...
I think you folks should save a few newspapers from this week.
The GOP is deciding who will take which cabinet post and such,
even tho Gore's going to make Smirk eat it.
So keep a few papers and save a few of these columns so
we can laugh when Gore wins by 7 points in November 7th.
...but some people disagree with me.
Smirk Can't Lose
by Lard Eric Nelson
Pigboy has started using the term, "Sidebar."
You don't think...
From: jeffkoenig@yahoo.com
Subject: Karl Rove on Yahoo Chat today at 5:30PM CST
I'll try to be there, using "Robert Ingersoll",
If you aren't there, I'll sting him with
a few Bartcop-isms,
and try to sneak your URL in.
"R.Ingersoll"
5:30 CST, I can dig it.
(Ediotr's Note: Karl Rove is Smirk's "handler.")
Miller's Best Lines Last Night
As the MNF camera panned the stands in Canton, Miller said,
"Ironically, you can't get any good Cantonese food in this town."
Miller had a better debut than the San Francisco 49ers.
"It's more like the 47ers out there," said Miller, long past
the point
when San Francisco was showing any chance to win.
There were a few gaffes. One was his slip in reporting that
Drew Bledsoe "was sacked 55 times last night."
He came back after a commercial and said,
"My mistake. Bledsoe was sacked 56 times last night."
Like most good comics, Miller is blessed with a huge cultural
data bank
and lightning recall. But Miller pulls deeper, and often stranger,
than others.
Somehow he worked the Rosetta Stone in, and Jack Lord's hair.
Bill Belichick, he said, "blinks about as frequently as Clint
Eastwood
in a Sergio Leone film."
He also said Ronnie Lott turned receivers into pillars of salt.
ha ha
He said Canton. Ohio was the Tigris and Euphrates of American
football.
He also brought up Smirk and the sword of Damocles.
Stupid Ass Quotes
"Rush Limbaugh would've been better in
the MNF booth. Rush knows
the game and he wouldn't hesitate to
light up a cigar in the booth."
Yeah, asshole.
That way, while gasping for oxygen,
you could pretend you're watching the game in Houston.
From: friedcheese@endofdays.com
Subject: Good Question to Ask Smirk
Good question to ask Smirk, if you ever get a chance.
"Why is free trade a great way to cure the
Chinese of their
Communism, but a terrible idea where Cuba
is concerned?"
Voice inside Smirk's head: "Can't win Florida
without those wacko
Miami Cubans. Can't win the election without
Florida."
Betcha he tells you what a BAAAAAAAD man
Castro is,
changes the subject, or just ignores you.
Eliot
Eliot, he already did.
In one of the primary debates, he was asked that.
His answer?
"The difference is, in China, they have a WHIFF of freedom."
Swear to Koresh
From: RWogalr@FiFiFoFum.org
Subject: Colin's A Switchhitter
"If he were the president, I would have to take it under serious
consideration,"
Colin Powell said after being asked on ABC's "Good Morning Whores"
if he would like to work for President-elect Gore.
Hard to Believe
The vulgar Pigboy is re-running yesterday's show!
Can you believe that?
His party opened their convention last night, and he's got nothing
to talk about so he's re-running his "gravitas" collage like
that means something.
He accuses "the media" of "all using thw word gravitas
as though they were the only ones using that word."
What the fuck does that mean?
He's losing his grip.
He's no longer able to stay on-point.
Why doesn't his staff help him?
Has he created such a "kingdom" that no "little people" dare approach
the emporer and explain to him that the giant cyst on his ass
is showing?
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
Rush just accused Clinton if being guilty of "Scandal-gate."
ha ha
Poor diseased bastard...
I haven't heard anything about this anywhere else,
but Jay Leno said Linda Tripp's body had rejected her face lift.
ha ha
Anyone hear anything about this?
The Secret is Out!
From: Butlerfoto@Netwalk.com
We're supposed to hear from a gay Republican tonight, and we haven't
yet seen John Kasich, the man who balanced the federal budget.
(cough)
Do you think John's coming out tonight?
Jeb Bush Kills Motorcyle Rights Activist
FORT MYERS, Florida (AP) -- A motorcycling enthusiast who applauded
Florida's new helmet-free law has died as a result of a motorcycle
accident in
which she wasn't wearing a helmet.
Dorthy Rushton, a bad speller, smashed her Harley Saturday and was thrown
more than 50 feet. She died Monday from injuries she sustained in the
crash.
Rushton probably would have survived had she been wearing a helmet,
said Florida Highway Patrol Cpl. John Schultz. He said the lack of
a helmet
"greatly" contributed to her injuries.
Gov. Jeb Bush last month signed into law a measure to let motorcyclists
age 21
and older ride without helmets. It took effect July 1.
Friends said Rushton's "life's passion" was motorcycle riding without a helmet.
...and it only took Jeb a month to kill her.
I Have a Question
Which night will Trent Lott be speaking?
Trent Lott is the most powerful Republican in the most deliberative
body
in the greatest country in the world, so where the hell is he?
Why are they keeping Trent chained up in the basement in Philly?
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Call your friends, get behind the movement!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Stand up, and go to your windows.
Open those windows wide and chant with me!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
They're chanting in New York and Los Angeles!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
They're chanting in Miami, Chicago and Boston!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
Free Trent Lott!
...but they're not chanting in Philly.
Guess who got fired?
The vulgar Pigboy is whaling against the Demcrats for not
allowing pro-lifers speakers to come to the podium in two weeks.
"If we're having Powell speak, and lecture us on our short-comings,
the Democrats should have pro-lifers speaking."
Hey, Pigboy!
It's not our fault if there are no heroes in the GOP!
The big hero in the GOP is pro-choice and pro-affirmative action!
If you wanted someone to spew the party line as written in the
platform,
get Delay, Burton, Barr and Gingrich up there, you lying no-cyst-lancing
pig.
The Democrats believe in their platform.
Great McCain Quotes
"Why did I lose the primaries to that
idiot Smirk?
It's because I was surrounded
by incompetents."
-- Everybody's favorite former-hero
ha ha
Guess which race his top "incompetent," Mike Murphy, is working on now?
ha ha
Pigboy just came on here.
he says last night was about "normal, everyday Republicans."
ha ha
Funny, David Gergan called them "cross-dressers."
I wonder...
Thursday night, when Smirk gives his big speech, will he swear
to never allow a contributor to spend the night in the Lincoln
Bedroom?
No, he fucking won't, because he's going to have
contributor after
contributor in the Lincoln Bedroom just like every president
before him.
From: sniper@cei.net
Subject: Big Drama Tonight!
Hey BC, did ya hear...
The only openly gay republican is scheduled
to talk tonight and many of
the people on the floor are talking about
walking out of "The Big Tent"
Sniper
Sniper,
Looks like Powell's "knock off the Nazi hate" speech didn't take.
I wonder if the only openly black representative will introduce him?
From: sabutai@ix.netcom.com
Subject: The Wrestler who hit Stossel
DUDE: Piccolo is wrong on the name of the
Wrestler
who boxed Stossel so hard up side his head
he lost
some hearing in one of his ears. It was
not Sid Viscious.
The guy's name was David Schultz.
He was let go by the WWF as soon as his
contract was up
after this incident and never had much
of a career after that.
Wrestled mostly on the local circuits,
never made it
back to the big leagues again.
Retired now, has a wrestling school in the
East
somewhere like NYC or Boston.
Hmmm, Sabutai knows his wrestling, ...what to do?
I know!
CAGE MATCH between Piccolo and Sabutai!
Gore Has No Worries
"I'm going to pin him to the wall on abortion, you can bet
on it."
-- Gore, talking about the bloodletting to come.
From: PiccoloGT15@aol.com
Subject: Two things
Bartcop,
One, I'd just like you to know that I enjoyed your theory, if
it means
anything. I mean, it's all true, when you look at it, You're
like that guy in
that Norman Rockwell picture, who's standing up with the paper
in his hand,
not caring what everyone else is going to say. Keep it alive,
Bartcop.
And the wrestler that smacked that fruity Stossel was Sid Vicious,
also known as Psycho Sid or, in his earlier days, Sid Justice.
If you don't know, he's over 6'5 I believe, and just muscularly
huge.
Stossel is all of 4'7 and throws like a girl.
Regards,
Piccolo
ABC's John Stossel Caught
Lying
From USA Today, Page 4D
John Stossel, Pigboy's favorite TV talk show whore, has been caught
lying
in a story about organic foods. Stossel, who always has an anti-consumer
slant
to his bullshit, claimed in two different reports that non-organic
food was
just as pesticide-free as organic food.
The company that provided the big liar with his "facts" said they
never
tested either food for pesticides, so it's pretty goddamn unlikely
that
Stossel was spewing anything but pro-business bias to screw consumers.
Sidebar:
Remember Stossel's most exciting moment?
He asked some wrestler, forget which, if
wrestling was really fake.
I saw this live, myself, and it was great!
This wrestler smacked the living shit out
of Stossel.
Whap!
Then Wrestleboy said something like, "Does
that feel fake?"
ha ha
Stossel lost the hearing in one ear and
sued the wrestler.
If anyone knows the name of the wrestler,
send that it
so I can offer a shot of Chinaco
to him as a toast.
Speaking of shots of tequila...
I'd like to offer a shot of Jose Cuervo to every idiot sportswriter
who thought "It's Miller Time" was a really clever play
on words
to announce Dennis Miller's football premier.
Plus, I assume Dennis doesn't drink tequila.
He's been using some tequila shot metaphor to describe his attitude.
It something like "after forcing down the harsh shot of
tequila of football ignorance,
tasting the refreshing wedge of lime of learning saves the day,"
something like that.
Hey, Dennis!
You have $40?
Buy the Chinaco - you won't need the lime.
SEARS DUMPS LAURA THE UNLOVED
Sears confirmed to StopDrLaura.com today that it "will no longer
advertise on the Dr. Laura show as a result of recent comments."
Sears' Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Associates (GLAS) representative
Jeff Hamm told StopDrLaura.com
in an interview this morning that the
retail giant has severed its ties to Laura the Martyr for gay-baiting.
"Sears is the latest corporate giant to decide that Laura is bad
for business,"
said John Aravosis, co-founder of StopDrLaura.com.
"Paramount and Viacom need to recognize that intolerance doesn't
pay."
According to the New York Whore Times, the protests have scared
off
10% of Laura's advertisers to her radio show, in addition to
her only
announced advertiser for her TV show, Procter & Gamble,
America's #2 advertising giant.
Great Vulcan Quotes
"One person can never guarantee the actions of another."
-- Mr. Spock, forget which episode.
I think it's the one with
the female Romulan Commander.
Yet,
yet,
yet every minority woman that spoke last night,
including that poor, blind, disabled, lesbian Asian woman,
GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by them.
They didn't say, "We believe" Smirk would do right.
They didn't say, "based on past experience, we feel comfy..."
They didn't say, "I know him, and I'm sure he'll do X and Y,"
No, they flat-out gave us a GUARANTEE!
They GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by the blind.
They GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by the disabled.
They GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by the gays.
They GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by the poor.
They GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by the immigrants.
They GUARANTEED Smirk would do right by the women,
yet,
yet,
yet Mr. Spock says that's not possible.
So, which side is lying?
The Vulcan?
Or the paid-for, whore-Judas
women?
"Vulcans cannot tell a lie," Spock tells us, from that same episode...
From: alfredlias@yahoo.com
Subject: monday night football
Was Dennis Miller great?
Not really.
Did he stink up the booth?
Far from it.
Was he better than Rush Limbaugh the third?
Beyond a reasonable doubt, for at least
two reasons.
First, anyone who could wash down a few
pounds of baked beans with
a gallon of beer and fart for three hours
would be better than the pigboy.
After all, most of what Limba produces
is solid effluent.(this is not
meant to denigrate Dennis by comparison,
only to show how
incredibly bad the Cystboy really is)
Second, Dennis did not try to force anything.
Whether it was opening night nerves or
just cautiously feeling out the new
format, he didn't try to substitute quantity
for quality - unlike Rush who has
diarrea of the mouth to complement
his constipation of the brain.
(it's hard to avoid scatological references
when talking about someone
whose name can be pronounced Flush Limbaugh
the Turd)
Finally, ABC deserves credit for making
the decision against the wishes
of 20 million idiots, many of whom are
rich and powerful assholes
(almost anyone named Bush for example)
Unlike Paramount, plunging ahead with Dr.
Whora, against the wishes
of the rest of humanity, in some secret
studio with an audience of
extras who are paid to act like fans.
Go figure.
Al
Al, I agree 100 percent, which is rare.
I think he intentionally low-keyed the night.
If we were saying "fan-fucking-tastic" this morning, he'd probably
have
pissed off a lot of people and be headed for burnout.
He was just a pleasant, friendly guy explaining the game.
TWO THINGS HE DID GREAT:
1. He was at the Hall of Fame ceremonies the day before.
ABC wisely kept him hidden.
We don't want the new funnyboy upstaging Montana
et al.
Here's what USA Today said yesterday:
While each legend stood in the doorway, waiting
to be introduced to the partygoers
one by one, Miller kept blurting out their names
before ESPN's Chris Berman,
who was the evening's official master of ceremonies.
How many people,
much less educated sportswriters, could eyeball
blasts-from-the-past, such
as Joe ''The Jet'' Perry, Tommy McDonald and
Bobby Mitchell, and
properly identify them without any prompting?
His great observation?
How many hard-care football fans would witness
such a grand procession --
not even think of asking for their autographs
-- and be so moved that they'd
say, as Miller did: ''So many have that walk,
that hobble, that limp.
It's so touching. . . . It adds to their nobility.''
That was touching.
I'd never thought about a "noble limp" before
he said that.
I have a little more respect for football
players because of his observation.
He's rich and famous because he knows how
to use words.
If I had his brains
and his gift for phrasing, I would've had more than
85 hits for last
nights exciting LIVE coverage of Nazi-Con
2000,
which should be
even better tonight with the coverage of the
"procession of heroes
whose asses were kicked by Clinton."
Second, Al Michaels asked him what was new
or surprising to him.
Dennis said, "The
crunching sounds when these guys collide."
That' something I've never heard live.
I've been to college games, but never a pro
football game.
Even if you didn't like Miller before last
night,
you probably like him after last night.
Lastly, just his observations that he can't
help but blurt out.
Al Michaels mentioned "minor groin surgery,"
and Miller couldn't keep inside
if you'd had a gun to his head. He said something
like, "There is no such thing
as minor surgery when you get
a scalpal near your groin."
I think he'll be around for a while...
I don't know his name, but that little Fox weasel that was prowling
the floor
looking for stories said the House Cock-Hunt Managers were all
scared as hell
that they were going to take it in the ass this November.
Ain't that a fucking shame?
You mean those years of Cock-hunting hatred might come back to hurt them?
You mean when poll after poll told them the country was PISSED
OFF
about their lil' Cock Hunt, that Tom Delay said they HAD to keep
pushing,
and they kept grabbing abd kept grabbing, and now they're in
trouble?
Har har hardy har har!
That's the REAL reasoin we're seeing all this sugar and schmaltz.
The GOP did a shitload of focus groups and found out they were
HATED!
All they could do is pretend it didn't happen and hide the bad
guys.
By the way,
Which night will Henry Hyde be hosting?
Hey, Henry!
The flag is falling, you cheating scumbag bastard!
From: (withheld)
Subject: Russert on Imus
Yo BC!!
I just returned from Vegas and I was thinking of you...
Did you make it to Taqueria
Cononita?
It's where God goes after a bad day.
But to the point of my message...
This morning on Imus, Russert said, about
C. Powell's speach and his comment
about caring for black children the entire
year, not just for the upcoming
election cycle, that Powell has "redefined
the Republican party!"
He did that all in one sentence!!
from your number one fan in CT!!
Joe Tom
Joe, thanks.
It's just like that whore Russert to cheer-lead for the Nazi
party.
Did you know there was a timew when Russert wasn't a racist prick?
remember, this is the party that thinks the Berlin Wall came
down
because Ronald Von Reagan said "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this
wall."
If that magic shit really works, why doesn't Nancy have Ronny
say,
"Bad brain - go away" so we can have him back?
After eight years of whining about Democrat bullshit with soccer
moms,
the GOP has gone all pretend-warm and fuzzy. Every network, including
the suddenly semi-hostile Fox Whore News, has been asking who
the hell
these people were last night under the Republican banners.
Rush better be outraged today.
There is no more GOP as we've come to know it.
The GOP has put on a skirt.
Dammit!
Before I could hit "Send," David Gergen said
"This has become a party of cross-dressers!"
ha ha
Pigboy's gonna have a cow.
From: (withheld)
BartCop,
I thought Pickles could have used a few
more snaps
with the first squad on the teleprompter
also.
Maybe Mrs. Dick can help her out on
that front, ha ha.
You wrote:
>I'm trying to do a screen grab of this great sign they're waving...
>It says, "We're Happy and United."
ha ha
Ever since I saw that,
I’ve had this friggin’ tune going through
my head.
If you’re happy and united
Clap your hands
If you’re happy and united
Clap your hands
If you’re happy and united
But you’ve yet to be indicted
If you’re happy and united
Clap your hands.
Robert, (whoops!)
I think they were really playing that song.
Smirk Daddy's Threat
On MSNBC, former President Bush told
Jamie Gangel,
"If Clinton doesn't knock off the insults
about my boy Smirk inside a month,
I'm gonna tell the nation what
I think about him as a human being and a person.''
ha ha
That'll shut Clinton up.
From: aadrian@tampabay.rr.com
Subject: Big Faux Pas
Hey Bartcop!
While watching MSNBC and Brian Wiliams after
the convention,
the camera pans to the auditorium (and
swear to Koresh)
there are TWO black guys sweeping away.
Can it get any better than this?
Alicia
ha ha
It proves there IS room for blacks in the GOP.
Eargasm from Nazi-Con 2000
I mentioned this during the instant, live analysis, but I couldn't
get it
uploaded because we were still taping and I have no engineering
skills
Boy, if I only had a staff...
Smirk had a bad moment.
For some damn reason, the leader of the whole damn party dropped
in to introduce one of his potential employees, Colin Powell.
It could happen to anybody (snicker) but the sound boys
screwed up.
They faded out the crowd audio, so when Smirk made wild proclamations,
he stopped and waited for applause that wasn't heard by nobody.
This is real short
Click Here
Exclusive Report from Philly
The Hammer is About to Fall
Tuesday night - White Men
Stormin' Norman Schwartzkopf will start by scaring
us.
Then Old Bob Dole, big loser from 1996, and a video tribute to
Gerald Ford,
the big loser of 1976, then Ronald Reagan, the actor/arms salesman,
then finally - spurter of the Demon Seed - Smirk Daddy, big loser
of 1992.
Then Condoleeza Rice with an tasty Alfredo Sauce.
Then former-hero McCain will talk about Dixie flags and integrity.
Will he seize the moment for payback to Smirk?
ha ha
Great Late Night Quotes
"We already have compassionate conservatives.
They're called Democrats!"
-- Bill Maher, Libertariam
A Minority I Didn't See
Erik Weihenmayer, a blind mountain climber, opened the
convention with
the National Anthem. He asked why the GOP cut funding for
research into
diseases that cause blindness, and was hustled off the stage
and
roughed up by the wiseguys who were guarding Jimmy Hoffa Junior.
"Would I what?
Uncle O.J. Watts reacted nagatively when some white guy
asked him to help unload some lumber trucks backstage.
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