From: ajcortez@mindspring.com
BC,
Few quick notes.
How much does Al Gore target the intelliegentsia?
Go to http://www.algore.com/
Wait for the page to load, then right
click in the middle of the page and select View Source.
There's a message in the [Millter Translator
On] gollyin' [MT Off] source code.
What do you expect from the guy who invented
internet?
Second note. What the hell happened
to Condaleeza Rice? She was all over
the damn place before the Dem Convention.
Here was Bush doing his very best
to show he wasn't a racist slime ("See
some of my best advisors are black").
Now when Shrub MAJORLY screws up his foreign
policy cue cards, she's gone.
The one damn person in the bunch who had
a brain and she's run for the hills.
Interesting eh?
Semper Dem,
AJC
Hey, that thing on Gore's site is cool.
As far as Rice, I hadn't noticed, but you're right.
Where is she?
No Meet the Whore, no Larry King, no Today Show?
Why are they hiding her?
Maybe she's mad because Bush won't let her wear pants on his plane?
More Questions for Smirk
1. Since your flacks won't, please name
one to five people
who served with you
in the Alabama Air Nat'l Guard.
2. Are the 100,000+ children suffering in
squalor in the Texas Colonias
considered 'left behind?'
If not, explain.
3. Can you guarantee, on pain of death,
you won't go into a drug/alcohol
induced blackout when
the going gets tough if you are President?
Send in your Questions for Smirk
Today's Page Two Girl is Elisa Bridges
How Rupert Murdoch got
in bed with Gore
By David Carr
9/21/00
Scan the list of people who supported Al
Gore's record-breaking
fund-raiser at Radio City Music Hall that
featured the likes of Bette
Midler, Jimmy Buffett, Paul Simon and k.d.
lang, and there's a
New York publisher who is in the midst
of a tabloid fight to the
death. But if you were guessing that name
belonged to Daily News
owner Mortimer Zuckerman, you'd be wrong.
Rupert Murdoch, chairman of News Corp.,
is listed as a ''vice chair''
of the Sept. 14 event, which means he raised
at least $50,000 in hard cash.
In doing so, the legendarily conservative
Murdoch -- as first reported in the
New York Observer -- joined the likes of
liberal stalwarts Harvey Weinstein
and Jann Wenner in supporting Gore's candidacy.
Guest
Editorial
David McGriffy makes sense
with "Behind the Lies"
Questions for Smirk on Wednesday
From: jhessert@earthlink.net
Here are 10 questions I'd ask Smirk if I had 75,000,000 Americans watching us live.
1.) Can Jews go to Heaven?
2.) How much does a gallon of milk
cost?
3.) If elected, will you pardon your
father?
4.) Name at least 5 countries beside
the U.S. that have nuclear weapons.
5.) Why does it take your handlers
three whole days to repackage Gore’s policy proposals as your own?
6.) Explain how Federal laws are
created.
7.) What is the average income for
U.S. citizens?
8.) Does the U.S. Constitution allow
a convicted felon to serve as President?
9.) Describe any time when a major
donor asked you for a political favor and you said "no".
10.) What is the penalty for going AWOL
during a time of war?
I've got way more, but it's only a 90 minute debate...
Later,
Janet from Possum County
http://www.geocities.com/possumcounty
Send in more questions,
Maybe Gore can use them...
RUSH on MNF Tonight?
From: (please don't publish my work email address)
I heard on the radio this morning that Rush
Windbaugh will be visiting the
Monday Night Football booth tonight.
Apparently the blimp was not
available, or else it needs an infusion
of hot air. Maybe he and Dennis
Miller will take each other on. Wouldn't
that be great!
I heard Rush say he was flying to Minnesoooota after today's show,
but since I'm a democrat with "fuzzy math," I didn't put 2 and
2 together.
Will Dennis Miller get in a few good shots?
IMPORTANT! Remember what Miller said about MNF:
"If I say 'Golly,' I mean 'fuck'"
If he sees Pigboy and says, "Golly," I'm going to howl.
From: Andrew.Wiesner@legis.state.wi.us
I love your site. As a good Dem I
get lots of friends asking me for
ammunition to use in arguements with GOPers.
I think it would be great if
you had a page on your site that was easy
to find that had a list of the 20
best things to say in such an arguement.
Maybe a page refuting the common GOP attacks
would be good, too.
I think it would be really, really useful
for the next 4 weeks.
A devoted reader,
Andy.
Andy,
I've always thought, "horseshit"
was a good ice-breaker.
I try to answer every attack letter I get, except for the "Gore
Death List,"
and the "Hillary helped murder a black panther" kind of
crappola.
As far as getting everything organized in a readable, easy-to-read
form,
I need to make a deal with Judith Regan.
From: dev-null@no-id.com
Subject: You web site
Th wonderful thing about freedom of speech
is that it's permitted to a scumbag like you.
You seem to think that EVERYONE is entitled
to your opinion.
Lapdog of left handed limpdicked liberalism.
From: RWIREMAN@peoplepc.com
Subject: Smirks Follies
We were promised all these revalations into
the Bush sex and drug habits by you
and the people at Ampol for the last three
months. Its time to put up or shut up.
Richard
Richard,
I predicted for the last 16 months that all would be revealed,
but the press
will not write about any of it because they're convinced Bush
is going to lose.
Let me ask you:
Would you rather win or see a Smirk cocaine story in the paper?
For the last 8 years, the right has had the "pleasure" of writing
stories about Clinton.
Meanwhile, he's making policy, running the military, vetoing
shit from this congress
and running the planet. You don't want to trade places with them,
do you?
The good news is - there's no reason to get the big guns out.
From: (withheld)
Heh, now why is it you just can't publish
any of the substantive pieces I
send to you, even things you request sometimes,
but you do publish something
like that short piece I sent, something
rather trite on both our parts?
Just curious.
Do you simply prefer the trite over the
substantive?
Or maybe you're still mad because of some
of the criticisms I've made of
Saint Page and Saint Clinton - and valid
ones at that - particularly when I am,
hmmm, 1) a musician, and hmmm, 2) a leftist
(it makes centrist democrats pissy
when liberal progressives criticise them).
And so you publish a little trivial thing like
that to make myself look "bad" and yourself
look "good," or as the tough guy,
or whatthefuckever, then just trash all
those other substantive pieces I send you.
Is that it? Seems to me the cyber equivalent
of screening calls and
shutting off the microphone.
This will take some trust on your part,
but I'm guessing it's a matter of length.
Swear to Koresh, I have a very, very small attention span.
I think whatever success bartcop.com has had is due to
the fact that
if you don't like a Page story or a tequila story or a Page two
girl,
a change of subject is just a next-page click away.
It's like something you can read on the toilet (No jokes)
I know it's hard to write something short and substantive.
Also, since mail comes in faster than I can read it, it makes
sense
for me to read the shorter ones. That's also not fair, maybe.
I don't have a "litmus test" on letters.
I just grab what seems to fit.
By the way,
I am also just a bit pissed that you went ahead and published
this email address, even after I have expressly
requested in a few past emails
that you DO NOT PUBLISH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS,
because I have been
getting unsolicited emails and IMs, and
provided you with an ALTERNATIVE
EMAIL ADDRESS. But no. Thanks a fuckin
lot for respecting my requests.
Sir or madam, I gets dozens of e-mails per day.
Do you think I have the brain capacity to remember and memorize
which people want to remain anonymous?
The only thing I remember about you specifically is that your
first letter
was an attack, then you "friendlied-up." I considered you a success
story.
Now, you're not.
Have you ever seen a chess master play 30 games of chess at one
time?
I did that once, as one of the 30 losers, and this
is not a very good analogy,
but sometimes I feel like I'm having 30 conversations at once,
so if I forget
something or make a mistake, remind yourself that I'm not a chess
master.
As far as "the cyber equivalent of
screening calls and shutting off the microphone,"
the guestbook and new forum were created
specifically for people who may feel
like they were shut out or cut off.
Do you see a message forum on Pigboy's site?
Do you see one on Laura's site?
Do you see one at rushonline.com?
Do you see one at Fox Whore News?
I'll tell you what else I'm guilty of - editing letters for length,
which is another reason
to visit the guestbook/forum and tell others how I'm "ducking
the tough questions."
You can't seriously think that I planned to mess with you.
Any chance the mistake was made on your end?
From: Nmmeeks@aol.com
Subject: Catholics, Laura, Jews, Hell
Bartcop,
The question isn't how could catholics be
liberal the question is how could
catholics be conservatives? Didn't
the first Reagan/Bush administrations
subsidize the murder of hundreds and hundreds
of catholics whose only crime
was wanting a better life? TO be
more specific didn't the reagan bush
administration subsidize the right wing
death squads that raped and murdered
7 catholic nuns in South America?
i guess THOSE CATHOLICS don't count
because they're the "brown ones".
What about all the catholics who are --
according to Bush's favorite seminary --
are doomed to hell?
Should they vote republican?
And, by the way, i wonder if anyone told
that stupid bitch that according to
the current figurehead of God's Own Party
she'll be stoking the fires of the
big red machine because she's Jewish.
Koresh, you drag a few million dollars
through a radio station and she just flops
over on her back.
john
Now THAT'S a good e-mail.
Short, on-topic, cutting, honest, and with a dash of humor at
the end.
Mr. Knows-music-and-politics-better-than-me could learn from
you.
Actor Richard Farnsworth appears in a scene
from the film "The Straight Story."
Farnsworth, the oldest actor to get an
Academy Award nomination, died of a
self-inflicted gunshot wound Friday
in New Mexico.
Farnsworth, a former stuntman, was nominated
earlier this year for an Oscar
for best actor for his performance in "The
Straight Story." Farnsworth was 80.
He was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer
several years ago.
"Hey, if I don't like a movie, I get up and leave."
--Wayne Rogers as Trapper John, MASH TV show
Yet, the GOP would take away your right-to-die in peace.
Oh sure, they spout all kinds of bullshit about "letting people
decide,"
until it conflicts with their particular religious superstition.
Then they throw out everything they claim to believe in.
Can you imagine any hell worse than that?
Trapped inside a cancer-riddled body, suffering from off-the-scale
pain,
and the ditto-monkeys refuse to let you slip into the peaceful
darkness.
As a rule, I don't applaud a suicide, but Farnsworth was 80 years
old.
He was dying from excrutiating pain from bone cancer.
What's he supposed to do?
Take it like a man?
I don't want ANY son of a bitch taking that decision from me.
But this just proves once again that the GOP are lying bastards
out to trick you
with false rhetoric about "empowering people," when they will
hijack your wife's
uterus, hijack your children's religious upbringing, and hijack
your peace of mind
when you're weeks or months from the brain-unplug that is death.
Repeat:
I don't want ANY son of a bitch taking that decision from me.
If I need to, I'll pay some teenager $500 to smuggle my heavy
Crown Royal whiskey bag from my house into the nursing home.
You think I'm going to lie there in pain like some shit-for-brains
knowing
I'm surrounded by ditto-monkeys who believe in the invisible
ghosts?
Not on my fucking life.
Why can't the GOP just be honest and say,
"We know better than you, that's why we're
doing this.
Our particular brand of religious
insanity seems so real to me
that it trumps whatever personal
wishes you have on your deathbed."
Fuck that.
...lying bastards.
Subject: re: Doctor Whora's question
"How can a devout Catholic be a liberal?"
Well, for starters, here are a few recent
encyclicals:
John XXIII Mater et Magistra 1961
http://listserv.american.edu/catholic/church/papal/john.xxiii/j23mater.txt
Paul VI Populorum Progressio 1967
http://listserv.american.edu/catholic/church/papal/paul.vi/p6popp.txt
John Paul II Laborem Exercens 1981
http://listserv.american.edu/catholic/church/papal/jp.ii/jp2labor.txt
But what would an atheist fag know?
Hope this is helpful
Allan
ha ha
Good one, Allan!
Scary Republican Quotes
"We've got the wind at our back.
We like the way things are shaping
up."
-- Ari Fleisher, Smirk spokesman
Uh-Oh,
That means they're going to be very disappointed November 8th.
...and people wonder why I have guns?
From: (withheld)
Hillary the Murderer...
Back in 1969 a group of Black Panthers decided
that a fellow black panther
named Alex Rackley needed to die.
Rackley was suspected of disloyalty.
Rackley was first tied to a chair.
Once safely immobilized his friends
tortured him for hours by, among other
things, pouring boiling water on him.
When they got tired of torturing Rackley,
Black Panther member Warren
Kimbo took Rackley outside and put a bullet
in his head. Rackley's body was
later found floating in a river about 25
miles north of New Haven, Conn.
Perhaps at this point you're curious as to what happened to these Black Panthers.
In 1977, that's only eight years later,
only one of the killers was still in jail.
The shooter, Warren Kimbro, managed to
get a scholarship to Harvard.
He later became an assistant dean at Eastern
Connecticut State College.
Isn't that something? As a '60s radical
you can pump a bullet into someone's head,
and a few years later, in the same state,
you can become an assistant college dean!
Only in America!
Erica Huggins was the lady who boiled the
water for Mr. Rackley's torture.
Some years later Ms. Huggins was elected
to a California School Board.
How in the world do you think these killers
got off so easy?
Maybe it was in some part due to the efforts
of two people who came to the
defense of the Panthers. These two
people actually went so far as to shut
down Yale University with demonstrations
in defense of the accused Black
Panthers during their trial.
One of these people was none other than
Bill Lan Lee.
Mr. Lee isn't a college dean. He
isn't a member of a California School Board.
He is now head of the US Justice Department's
Civil Rights Division.
O.K., so who was the other Panther defender?
Is this other notable Panther defender
now a school board member?
Is this other Panther apologist now an
assistant college dean?
No, Neither!
The other Panther defender was, like Lee,
a radical law student at Yale at the time.
She is now known as The "smartest woman
in the world."
She is none other than our lovely First
Lady, the incredible Hillary Rodham Clinton.
You see how they are?
Since 1992, this is how Republicans get an erection,
and it's the only way a She-Nazi can get herself wet.
Somebody makes up some shit, then they put it into the Freeper
stream of horseshit,
then they forward this horseshit
into their vast e-mail network.
Then Drudge gets hold if it, then Pigboy,
then O'Reilly, then Hannity
and by this time Fox Whore News starts
a "legitimate" story on
"The incredible Hillary memo that's sweeping
the Internet - Fact or Fiction?"
That way, O'Reilly can do an hour on it,
followed by an hour with Hannity,
followed by a "special" Paula Von Zahn
report where they'll claim,
"We just report - you decide."
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"Rush Limba, coming to you on .............the
radio!"
ha ha
From: LordStarFyre@aol.com
Howdee Bartcop;
Lord StarFyre here. I've been sending folks
over to bartcop.com, and
specifically telling them to head over
to the Naked Republicans section,
but now I find it has disappeared. Any
way to reinstate it???
There's no better way to shut up a Reich
Wing A-Hole than to show him
the Happy Halloween shot of Paula Jones,
especially now that it's been
confirmed that Ms Pure as the Wind Driven
Snow is now going to be putting
her Meat Curtains on display in Penthouse,
a 12 page "spread" no less...
So Come on Bartcop, help us out here...
We need our Naked Republicans
Lord,
Point them to http://www.bartcop.com/picidx.htm
From: "peale"@adam.cheshire.net
My understanding of Rush's
draft status is that he eagerly used his
pilonidal cyst as a reason to get a deferment,
in contrast to his dad who
had the same thing and LIED about it to
get INTO the army during WWII.
Whatever else may be true about Pigboy and
his dad, I've read that the old
man was quite pissed about Rush getting
out, having thought that military service
would make a man of him (nothing else having
worked, before or since).
In Al Franken's book "Rush
Limbaugh Is A Big, Fat, Idiot" Al has a great
fictional chapter about the combat exploits
of Pigboy, George Will, Newt
Gingrich and other "War is great if someone
else does the fighting" hypocrites.
JP
JP,
All I know about Rush's daddy is when Rush confessed that his
infected ass
prevented him from joining that war he loved so much, he said,
"My father had the same condition."
I assumed that mean his father was equally a coward,
but that was just an intelligent assumption on my part.
Maybe Pigboy didn't clarify that to avoid the obvious contrast
of how the two infectees "handled" their cysts.
...and Al Franken's book was a stroke of genius.
From: DDThinkFree@aol.com
Bart,
Did you happen to catch Rush on Hardball
(or whatever show it was)?
I missed it, and was just wondering how
fat the man was getting yet again.
I missed it, too.
I was all set to catch the replay later that night but, like
Matt Glavin,
MSNBC "jerked it off," and put on a National Geographic,
instead.
Maybe they were ashamed of themselves for inviting a Pigboy on...
PS. They claim they're re-running the Screamer/Pigboy interview tonight.
From: thediehard@mindspring.com
Subject: that wasn't funny
Re: "save a puppy's life"
Threaten me or threaten Hillary (I'm rather
into mud wrestling myself),
but don't threaten a companion animal.
There are sickos out there
who would take that as justification for
their own cruelty. Ask any veterinarian
about some of the horrors they've seen
perpetrated on helpless animals.
Clinton Reflects on Two
Terms
Says Impeachment Victory Great Achievement
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Clinton said in a magazine article
released on Sunday
that acquittal in his impeachment trial was one of the "great
achievements" of his presidency.
"I still believe that two of the great achievements of my administration
were facing down the
government shutdowns in '95 and '96, and then facing down this
(impeachment),"
Clinton was quoted as saying in an article in The New Yorker
magazine.
The article was written by reporter Joe Klein, who wrote the novel
"Primary Colors" about
the presidential campaign of a thinly-disguised Clinton-type
candidate. Klein held two lengthy
interviews over the summer with the president for the article
profiling Clinton's presidency,
which ends in January.
President Clinton also took the blame for the colossal failure
of his administration's attempt,
led by Mrs. Clinton, to overhaul the U.S. health care system
in 1994.
"She gets a total bum rap on this," Clinton said. "It was my mistake,
not hers.
All she did was what she was asked to do."
In one of the few mentions of Al Gore, he is portrayed as an advocate
for Clinton to sign
controversial welfare reform legislation in 1996, which many
liberal Democrats in and out
of the White House opposed. "I think the system is fundamentally
broken...It's worth the risk,"
Gore is quoted as saying.
PRESIDENTIAL REGRETS
Clinton counted among his regrets his handling of the fighting
in Somalia in 1993, the failure of
health care reform, and his 1994 request for the appointment
of a special counsel to investigate
his financial dealings, which led to the disclosure of the Monica
affair and his impeachment.
"What I regret ," Clinton said, "is asking for the special counsel."
"I did it because I was exhausted, because I had just buried my
mother, and because I had
people in the White House who couldn't stand the heat and they
suggested that I do it,
that I had to do it," he said.
The president said many Republicans refused to accept the presence
of a Democratic president
after a hold on power, interrupted for only four years, from
1969 to 1993.
"They just never saw me as a legitimate person," he said.
Clinton quotes an unnamed Republican senator as telling him during
Senate Whitewater hearings
that he did not believe the Clintons had acted improperly, but
that the hearings were intended to
"make people think you did something wrong."
HALTING THE GINGRICH REVOLUTION
In the article, Clinton repeated his belief that he was defending
the constitution in his Senate
impeachment trial, in which he was acquitted in February, 1999.
He said the twin victories
in the showdown over government shutdowns and impeachment helped
halt the conservative
Republican advance led by former Newt Gingrich.
"Those two things together essentially ended the most overt and
extreme manifestations
of the Gingrich revolution," Clinton said.
Despite the trauma of the impeachment scandal, it also came as
Clinton was realizing that his
program of preparing the United States for an information-age
economy was "all coming together."
"I was really happy," he said.
"I don't think any of us ever thought in '93 the economy would
take off this way."
The failure of health care reform helped trigger a Democratic
loss of both houses
of Congress in 1994 off-year elections.
Clinton said he tried to do too much early in his presidency,
a period that included NAFTA
and his deficit reduction plan. "There's no way the system could
digest the health care plan," he said.
He also accused Bob Dole of blocking health care reform to further
his own run at the presidency in 1996.
On the 1993 Somalia debacle, in which 18 U.S. soldiers and hundreds
of Somalis were killed in
a fierce firefight, Clinton said, "I think I always will regret
that. I don't know if I could have saved
those lives or not...but I would have handled it in a different
way if I'd had more experience. "
He said he was following the advice of Colin Powell in allowing
U.N. peacekeeping forces to
try to capture faction leader Mohamed Farah Aideed. "And then
Powell retired -- he left the
next week," Clinton said. "I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying
he was gone."
"...and I did it all without any government help."
Oh, really?
That's not what the facts say, Mr. Cheney.
FBI Closing in on Karl Rove?
"You must be the devil.
Nobody does that
to Notre Dame"
I told a true story in Volume
288 - The Dangerous Type,
about a football bet I won both sides of in 1974 or 1975.
Skisics did the
heavy lifting and found the
rest of the story.
I might've been wrong about the halftime score.
I might've been wrong about the final score.
I might've been wrong about which side had the miracle comeback,
but by Koresh, I won both sides of that bet.
A shot of Chinaco to Skisics for the good detective work.
House Manager Round-Up
We need as many of these cock-obsessed losers as possible to
lose.
Rogan and McCollum are on the run, who else?
Are you as disgusted with ol' Chalky Thighs as the rest of America?
He's a cock-obsessed House manager.
He must be made into glue.
Great She-Thing Quotes
"How can a devout Catholic be a liberal?"
-- Laura the Unloved Whore, 10/9/00, third hour
We don't like to be crude, but there are times when a "Fuck
you, bitch,"
is the only proper response to a lying, bought-and-paid-for whore.
This is one of those times.
"Fuck you, bitch."
You know I always prefer to take the high road,
but there are times when plain-speaking is called for.
From: Pajessb@aol.com
Subject: I'm getting worried, Bartcop
Bartcop!
So, I just heard that
Smirk and Gore are in a "Virtual Dead Heat"
according to the latest polls (just heard
it on the radio). I spoke with a
friend of mine in Europe last night who
tells me that people there are
STAGGERED how such a moron like Smirk could
have gotten THIS far.
Gore better wipe the floor with Smirk on Wendesday.
- PJ
PJ,
Isn't it exciting?!?!?
Wednesday is the biggest day of Gore's life,
the biggest day in the life of young Smirk, and
the biggest day on bartcop.com ever!
This is the BIG game!
The good news?
We are Oklahoma, Smirk is Texas.
Hurry, Wednesday!
Don't be late!
ha ha
Isn't it exciting?
McCollum figures it out!
Revenge factor in Senate
race?
House Manager McCollum accuses Clinton
TALLAHASSEE, Fla., Oct. 6 — Senate candidate
Bill McCollum (R-Prick House manager)
accused President Clinton of fighting his
campaign out of revenge for McCollum’s role
in managing the president’s impeachment.
ha ha
Go, Bill!
Use the BIG hammer, Bill.
Use it until the blisters on your hands
pop!
McCollum was one of 13 Republican members
of the House who acted as cock-hunters
during the Senate trial of Clinton early
last year.
“With the exception of Hillary’s race, my
defeat is Bill Clinton’s highest political priority,”
the Orlando congressman wrote in
a letter e-mailed this week to supporters.
ha ha
You ignorant bastard.
You just now figured out there's a price to pay
when you grab for the king's cock and miss?
Guess what, ...yo time is up.
Consider yourself lucky, Billy.
Hillary wanted you beheaded.
From: (withheld)
Hey Bartcop check this out.
....in the mail today I recieved two checks
from Judicial Watch for $1.50 each.
Somehow I got on their mailing list (a
joke by one of my GOPer friends no doubt)
because in the past couple of months I
have recieved about 5 requests to contribute
to Larry's little witch hunt. I didn't
contribute but did put all the crap they sent me in
their postage paid return envelope and
sent it back to them on their dime each time.
Now the idiot is sending me checks for $1.50.
I can only guess that they think I
contributed to them and they are trying
to get more. I do the same thing with that
Lazio moron (my friend gave them my name
too) but so far I haven't recieved a
check from Ricky, the cheap bastard.
Love the site and damn near fell out of
my chair when I heard Patrick from FL
say "visit bartcop.com " during
Pigboy's little hatefest.
Ted
Guest Editorial
John Lennon is not 60 today
From: CRockeffeller@aol.com
Oh for cryin' out loud.
Shit all over the Temptations, but
someone makes
one slightly negative comment about Jimmy
Page,
doesn't call Page GOD, and you throw a
hissy fit.
Whatever.
Cheff,
We we in a bad mood when we wrote that?
Don't you really mean the Four Tops?
I never said everyone had to agree that Jimmy Page is God.
You're entitled to whatever odd musical tastes you may have.
But if someone says "Ted Nugent runs rings around Page,"
sometimes I offer a spirited defense of the better player.
Let's say for twenty years, you were half-interested in seeing
Page,
and one day you & the wife had a chance to see him for $100.
So you pay your $100, and Page only played a one-hour show,
and he spent the first 45 minutes playing songs you'd never heard
of,
and then he closed the show by playing Zeppelin's greatest hits
in one
eight-minute medley, I'd expect to hear from you.
I'd expect you to say that you were mighty disappointed.
On this day in History...
October 9, 1969 - Former radio talk-show king Rush Limbaugh
was wounded in Vietnam
while saving a soldier's life by dragging him behind a building
during a firefight sixty miles north
of Saigon. Limbaugh was awarded a Purple Heart for taking such
heroic action, which was...
Uh, ...wait,
No, wait, ...I'm sorry that didn't happen.
The giant cyst on Rush's ass, and a letter from his daddy the
judge, got ol' Rusty a free ride
out of that hamburger-making machine of death. Someone else,
probably a young black man
whose father wasn't a judge was drafted and had to go and possibly
die in his place.
Nevermind,
Great Democratic Quotes
"If you hear the dogs, keep on going.
If you hear gunfire, keep on
going.
If you hear shots and footsteps,
keep on going.
I will not turn back no matter
who is behind me,
or what they're saying, or what
they're doing.
There is one thing you know about
me:
When I tell you, 'I'll stick
with you,' I'll stick with you."
-- President, ..I mean Senator Hillary Clinton,
From: KerryBrush@aol.com
Subject: Paul Harvey
Bartcop
Found this in the Bizarre News.
I wonder if this is about ol' Paul when
he was younger
or just about one of his fans.
Kerry
Classic Bizarre Moments from the Archives
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Tucson, Ariz. - Police arrested a 41-year-old
man who a witness said
appeared to be trying to coax horses
from the University of Arizona
Agricultural Center toward him with
food... Sounds harmless enough,
but in reality the food was strategically
placed near his exposed penis
as if to invite oral sex. Police had
warned the man previously against
similar behavior.
Kerry,
I have a witness, a previous Harvey victim named Mr Ed.
Let me see if I can get him on the big screen.
There he is, on the Pasture-cam.
Mr Ed, does this crime resemble what Paul Harvey did to you?
There you have it.
This crime is not at all like Paul Harvey's assault on Mr Ed.
Must be a different horse molester...
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