More Questions for Smirk
Well, since this completely threw him
in Wisconsin last week,
how about a repeat of that old campaign
favorite:
Why should I vote for you instead of your opponent?
How do you spell W?
E=MC2, please explain the energy/mass
relationship to the speed of light
How many pickles did Peter Piper pick?
Who was Lincoln's Vice President?
Who shot JR?
On what Donovan hit song did James Page
play lead guitar?
Gov. Butch, how would you defend yourself
against charges that
your campaign panders to the racist
elements in the Republican Party?
For instance, you've done everything
but drape yourself in the Confederate Battle Flag,
you refused to meet with the family
of James Bytd (dragged to death by White Supremecists),
and you still have on your staff a man
whom you've appointed who defended in court the use
of the term "porch monkeys" as not racially
offensive when referring to African Americans.
What is the penalty for being caught with cocaine in amounts for personal use in Texas?
Is it legal or mandatory in the Texas
legislature to carry a concealled weapon?
Send more Questions!
Today's Page Two Girl is from the Middle East
From: cealie@uswest.net
You know what they say about elections taking
place in a year with a "0",
which makes the Vice Presidential choice more
important. If anything
(Koresh, God, Allah Whatever forbid) should happen
to Gore, I would
far prefer Uncle Joe to be a heartbeat away than
"Grim Reaper" Cheney.
Joe embraces humanity, while Big Time is in contempt
of it.
A fearful, hateful and self-centered creep like
Cheney
would put us in the middle of WW III.
cealie
(back to the couch)
Caelie,
If Smirk was elected (snort!) and lost his mind under the pressure,
"Big Time" would take over long enough to have a heart attack from
the stress,
leaving President Gephardt to run the nation - we could do a lot worse...
A Message from a Friend
From: (withheld)
Subject: Betty Bowers & Ezekiel
Bartcop,
I got to thinking about Betty Bowers' lifting
the lid on the pornographical
Ezekiel 23:20 the other day via
your site and decided to check other
translations of the same verse. Here
is one from the The Revised English
Bible with the Apocrypha published by Oxford
Cambridge Press:
"She was infatuated with their male prostitutes,
whose members were like
those of donkeys and
whose seed came in floods like
that of stallions."
Moose & Squirrel in K.C.
Moose & Squirrel,
ha ha
Does it say who the nasty ho is?
It sure sounds like Laura Schlessinger, from the description.
...and why is she so desirous to find a man, (or men,)
who can give her stallion-loads of ... attention?
Maybe she's an ancestor of Paul Harvey?
Man, that Bible is a nasty book!
It reads like the Starr Report.
On This Day in History
On Oct. 10, 1973: Vice President Spiro
Agnew, accused of accepting bribes,
pleaded no contest to one count of federal
income tax evasion and resigned his office.
Yet, somehow, Bill Clinton and his "felony
free" administration,
is constantly called the "most corrupt
in history" by the vulgar Pigboy
and the "fair and honest" people at the
FOX Whore network.
...and that's without mentioning Dick Nixon
resigning in disgrace
because the Senate was going to convict
him for his crimes.
...and that's without mentioning Nixon's
Attorney General went to prison,
as well as his Chief of Staff, his White
House attorney and dozens more.
There's only one word for people
who KNOW these facts and continue
to label the "felony free" Clinton administration,
"the most corrupt in history."
You know what that word is...
NEW YORK (Billboard) - Howard Stern was named
nationally syndicated
personality of the year at the 2000 Billboard/Airplay
Monitor Radio Awards,
presented Saturday in New York at the close of
Billboard's annual seminar.
What?
No Pigboy?
No LA She-Thing?
No senile horse molesters?
I guess Billboard isn't owned by Rupert...
Wicked Wretch of the Left
BY JUDITH HANEY, EDITOR
USNewsLink
Wick Wretch, or Left Wick, take your pick, is
the latest description of Al Gore
to light up the right wing internet chat boards,
of which there are too many.
The Rights outnumber the Left Wicks 20-1 on the
internet. And the Rights
only focus on dispensing and propagating misinformation
about Al Gore.
It's like nothing else is happening in the world!
Don't these people ever take a break to go to
the grocery store, or do their laundry,
or pay their bills, or talk to their families,
or do other things normal people do?
But, back to my thesis. Let's examine the facts
about Al Gore.
To begin with, notwithstanding the Rights mischaracterization of him, Al Gore is not a liar.
Further, Al Gore is eminently qualified to be
President. Far more so than George Bush,
the intellectual lightweight, who hasn't made
up his mind what he wants to do with his life when he grows up.
The fact that Al the Candidate is an honest, decent,
man who is very qualified to be President
has placed him directly in the sights of the
fanatic right wing internet crowd.
And the Rights are having a field day tossing
polls numbers around, and slashing and burning their way
through any opposition to their disbursement
of volumes of misinformation about Candidate Gore.
What is especially amusing is when the Rights
slash and burn each other.
Take the latest dot.com war between Etherzone.com and Lucianne.com.
It's a hoot. It's better than Saturday morning
cartoons.
It's better than the NY Times on Sunday morning.
It's better than sex!!!
And it's free entertainment. Just log on.
Go to Lucianne.com, then go to Behind
the Headlines.
From there follow the links provided. And viola!.
You have REAL entertainment.
In the meantime, Al Gore is being libeled, slandered,
defamed,
and undermined as a legitimate Presidential candidate.
And the Rights pick, George W. Bush, could not
lead his way out
of a campaign watercloset to save his inept candidacy!
And the Left Wicks are sitting back on their better
sides trying to
figure out why Al Gore's lead in the polls is
slipping.
Have they found Noah's Ark?
More Questions for Smirk
Governor Smirk....this is a question concerning
economic trends.
If you adjusted for inflation, would the cost
of a legal abortion
be more or less today than it was in the early
seventies?
Send in your questions!
From: konai@hotmail.com
Hey Bartcop,
How come CNN's poll consistently shows Bush leading
while every other poll shows him behind.
I wonder.
raj
Raj, good question.
I'm really old, and I've never seen the polls
in such a mess.
One has Smirk up by 8, another shows Gore ahead
by 5.
I say, "Gore in a landslide."
Buy your Chinaco soon.
From: riskyschemer@hotmail.com
Subject: Latest Polls
Need I direct your attention to the latest
CNN/USATODAY/GALLUP numbers
which show Bush on top 49% to 41%. It seems
algore's masterful debate "victory"
resulted in a Bush surge in nearly all
the major polls.
Al is so high-minded he dispatched Butt-boy
Begala to "stick with issues" by assailing
Bush's National Guard service record, as
if anyone gives a damn. You better pray that
Alan Simpson's account of how the principled
Mr. Gore auctioned off his Gulf War vote
doesn't get any traction with the mainstream
press. I haven't seen Howard Greene and
George Mitchell jumping forward to defend
Gore's version of events.
John Huang
John,
You say Republicans don't care that Bush
was a deserter in wartime?
Boy, you sure got pissed when citizen Clinton
protested an immoral war.
...and I always pray about what Alan Simpson may or may not do...
It's too bad you don't have a web page,
because after Nov 7th you're going to disappear.
Great Show-Biz Quotes
Geena Davis's new ABC sitcom is not just
tasteless, it's amateurishly tasteless.
Geena may not be be the worst new
sitcom this season, but that's only because
Tucker and The Trouble With Normal
set the bar abnormally low.
If Geena runs eight weeks, it'll
be lucky, and we won't.
-- Robert Bianco, USA Today TV Critic
Maybe it's because West Wing was
so good,
but I haven't seen anything that has been
any good since.
I saw Deadline, which I thought
would be good, but it was just passable.
I taped Dark Angel, but haven't
seen it yet. (Second episode tonight)
Gideon's Crossing has it's no-commercial-interruption
premier tonight.
Titans was so bad, it made me think
it was a SNL skit, but I could tell
it wasn't because SNL has
some cute girls on it this year.
The Fugitive, panned-in-advance
by me, wasn't as bad as it could've been.
C.S.I. is going to need work to
survive. In the first show, they tried to solve
four crimes AND they shot
the good-looking girl. That's not good.
One of the crimes they were
trying to solve were those caused by a cute hooker
who put knockout drops on her nipples
so her johns would lick them and pass out.
Plus, the boss is such a prick,
he makes me wish I worked for Sean Hannity.
The District was worse than Deadlines.
Craig T Nelson is going to clean up
Washington DC with wooden acting and plots
rejected by Nash Bridges?
But the biggest disappointment of
all the disappointments has been ED.
Check these reviews:
"The hottest show of the season." -
Rolling Stone
"A true original," - TV Guide
"Could be the season's finest hour,"
- USA Today
"A breath of cool, clean air," -
Elle Magazine.
(Elle Magazine? They review
TV shows now?)
"One of the season's most intriguing
new shows," - The New York Whore Times
"The best new drama on any network's
schedule," - The Washington Post
"Show of the Week," - People Magazine
"Adorable and hilarious," - TIME
Magazine
"The best new show of the season,"
- Entertainment Weekly
I wanted to like it, half for Dave's sake
and half because there's nothing else on
before Regis/X-Files, but I thought it
was terrible. It was trying so damn hard to be cute.
Maybe the problem was reviews like we've
just seen. What, besides the premier of
West Wing could live up to that
kind of wild hype?
Maybe it'll get better once they get into
it, but they don't need to wait 6-8 shows
before they start doing the good ones.
Molly Ivins - Always on-target
Excerpt:
What are we to make of Bush's suggestion that we encourage energy
exploration
in Mexico so we won't be dependent on foreign oil? Bush actually
said he had
discussed this with Mexican President-elect Vicente Fox. Shouldn't
someone
cable Fox and tell him we're not considering annexation?)
More True Rock n Roll Tales
from the Road
by The
Ledge
On Tue Oct 10 08:44:30, THE BIRD wrote:
> I need some support
over at a website forum called
> bartcop.
I'm trying to stand up for conservative issues
> and these stupid
liberal socialist have me outnumbered.
> Go to www.bartcop.com
and click on guest book get into
> the second forum
and state your opinon and let these
> liberals know
whos in charge.
> THE BIRD
> www.thebirdbath.com
Or, ...you could face me like a man...
ha ha
Pigboy says he's put some pictures of him playing with his cats
on his website because, "They make me look more human."
We'll see...
The first thing on his website is a banner that says,
"Drive your liberal friends crazy - send me money!"
So I clicked on it and it said "Unable to locate."
Good move, Pigboy.
If I had $100,000,000 in the bank, my web site would fucking
work.
So, I clicked on the cat pictures.
Rush, you're right.
You look more human next to an animal.
I guess all Hitler and Pol Pot needed was some kitty pictures?
The second one surprised me.
I hate living with this prick.
Cigar smoke - constantly...
I wish I was dead.
More Questions for Smirk
Since you are well-versed in cocktails,
could you tell us please what are
the chemicals used in the lethal cocktail
administered to poor white trash
and black death row inmates who couldn't
afford competent counsel?
Send in your questions!
From: lind2116@home.com
Subject: Democrats Humanity Achievements
Dear Bart,
We just returned from the Kennedy Space Center.
It is just an awesome sight!
The Kennedy Space Center, one of the greatest
humanistic achievements and
contribution from a democratic President, John
Fitzgerald Kennedy (Catholic).
An achievement that enriches All of humanity.
I tried to think about humanistic achievements
republicans are credited,
but could not think of one. I can't think of
anything of importance that was
named after Eisenhower, Nixon, Bush or Reagan.
Well, the DC airport was
named after Reagan but nobody calls it by the
Reagan name. The most famous
airport in the world, New York's JFK is named,
of course, after our beloved JFK.
President F. Roosevelt, the people's president,
gave this country so much including
Social Security benefits which he fought tooth
and nail with the republicans. If the
democrats allow that little crappy Bushe boy
to destroy social security, a gift from
a humane, compassionate and honorable statesman
like our beloved prez Roosevelt,
would be an insult to America.
President Johnson gave us the Civil Rights Laws
and the Houston (Tx) Space Center
is named after President Johnson, the Lyndon
Johnson Space Center. President Carter
was a short term president but yet, his world-wide
accomplishments with Habitat for
Humanity places him in "Big Time" humanistic
achievements.
President Clinton broke the mold in achievements,
from prosperity at home to peace
throughout the world. History will be exceptionally
kind to Prez Clinton. Now, we need
to kickout the evil repukes and elect Al Gore
as a continued collection of great humanistic
democratic presidents.
Thank you darling!
Grandma, New Jersey.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
Thanks for tuning in to the Rush Limba show.
I'm broadcasting today from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
I went to the ball game last night as the guest of the 130
year-old
ditto-monkey owner of the Minnesota Vikings, and I had such
a..
What?
We're not?
Well, then, where the hell are we?
St Paul?
Really?
I'm so stroked out, I don't know what city I'm in?
Oh, picky, picky - it's close enough...
Here's that Margarita
article where the reporters seem to be saying
they know something we don't know about Smirk's chances on November
7th.
What do they know?
Why won't they print what they know?
Thanks to: JDWRods@aol.com
.......
Did Smirk come in second
in that debate?
Or did he come in fourth?
From: joelv@synapsecc.com
Been reading this for a while, now I must contribute.
Why would the right
try to tell anyone that Gore didn't know what
a mammogram was? I know that
95% of people in Nebraska know what it is, therefore,
99% of America has to
know. I'm guessing Gore fits in to this percentage.
This lying thing is
getting out of control, and I hope Gore stops
this. The right is telling the
truth, no doubt. I am from Nebraska (
). Fill in how
you like. I was recently there, and listened
to some of the right garb, and
you know what strikes me? The BULLSHIT they spew!
Tommie Frazier was a "N" to them, unless he made
the correct decision on the speed option.
I could not agree with you more, OK and NEB both
have a little "trouble" rooting for their teams.
But, this year we have Crouch and Heupel, should
make things easier. You have made the perfect
point, I wish one right would answer to.
Why, if you want small gov't, do you want to be
in everyone's business? I think they mean,
"we'll decide what the gov't will be involved
in and let you know". 1st, men should not get to vote
on abortion, only the consequences facing the
girlfriend/wife if she has one. 2nd, if the right
will send $5 to every female who is thinking
about it, then they can have a say.
WON'T PART WITH THE MONEY WILL YA? Why do you
trust them with a baby,
but not a decision? When asked by my friends
or family why they shouldn't vote for SMIRK,
I only can respond " YOU ARE NOT RICH ENOUGH".
Because going through the list of things is hell!
I enjoy what you do.
JV
Is it just me, or were the Tom Tomorrow cartoons funnier
before he turned on Gore and went full-tilt for Nader?
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
Caller: Hi, Rush. My name's Mike and I'm calling from Wisconsin.
Pigboy: Dave, since you live near Wisconsin,
let me tell you
what happened to me last night in Minneapolis...
10/10, third hour
ha ha
How crooked is the average ditto-monkey running for office?
Tom Wesson changed his ballot name to "Tomas Eduardo Wesson,"
because he thinks Hispanic voters are that stupid.
PS. He admits he's not Hispanic.
Judge Amy says
Get a Leg Up...
Read bartcop.com every day
Hillary Murderered the Black Panthers Update
Urbanmyths.com debunks a lot of these "Gop Dogmas."
Click Here for this particular horseshit.
Thanks to Gonzo Dave at AMPOL
Ask BartCop
From: WilliamL15@prodigy.net
Subject: Rush on hardballs
What a frigging idiot rush is. First he
blames Bill Clinton for the oil crisis,
when the fact is that it was Ronald Reagan
who killed Jimmy Carter's
alternative fuels project and tried to
abolish the department of energy,
then he says that the constitution demanded
that twice elected
Bill Clinton be impeached for getting a
concentual BJ.
What is wrong with him?
Is he retarded or what?
Bill
Dear Bill,
It is decidedly so,
BartCop
From: Pajessb@aol.com
Subject: Yet another reason why I love Kevin Spacey
Here's a heartwarming story
concerning my favorite actor
(heart thumping with admiration
and lust) :
From Mitchell Fink's column (reproduced without permission):
Kevin Spacey may or may not be dating Helen
Hunt (yecch), but there's
no question Bill Clinton thinks the "American
Beauty" star is just swell.
"Getting to be friends with Kevin has been
one of the best perks of being president"
the leader of the free world declared Thursday
night at the Supper Club in midtown
(What city? Doesn't say)
The occasion was a fund-raiser for Rep.
Charles Rangel, who came away with
around $500,000 for his National Leadership
PAC. But it was also a chance
for Spacey and Clinton to share a hug.
The guys have had some fun together. There
was that time Clinton made a
surprise call to Spacey's mom from Air
Force One. And then there was the gag
video Clinton made for last spring's White
House Correspondents Association
dinner - in which Spacey guest-starred
and loaned the Prez his Academy Award.
Small wonder that Spacey should proclaim
on Thursday that Clinton was
"the most progressive, the most effective,
the most hardworking, the most
dedicated President we've ever had."
Clinton blew kisses back, recalling how
Franklin D. Roosevelt
"used to say that the President had to
be America's best actor.
Well, I'm the second-best actor. Kevin
is the best actor."
- PJ
Creep of the Week
Remember in 1996 when Rush
lied about who won the debates?
TIME Magazine busted him.
The Ballad of BartCop
Now Bartcop thinks
All Republicans
Well, he thinks they all think alike.
So he calls them whores and Nazis and such
On his adorable website.
"They're the party of hate!" he rants
To a captivated few
"They worship Rush! In him they trust!"
"They all have 'sheeple' views!"
KKK and anti-gay
Social Darwinists
Religio-nuts with rifle butts.
Neo-right fascists
Bartcop claims a caring heart
Pro-black, pro-union, pro-choice
"You must for a Democrat if you all are
to have a voice!"
"A Republican? You're a racist!"
At least that's Bartcop's view
He'll judge them just as swiftly as klansman
will judge a Jew
He probably heard a few churchgoers voted
GOP
"They're using God to invade our schools!"
"They're fascists! Can't you see?"
Party chooses Bartcop's friends
Such as Clinton and Al Gore
He's sold his soul to a perjurer, yet Dr.
Laura is the whore?
ha ha
Well, Bartcop sticks to his prejudice
As a racist stays misinformed
He'll vote left under the guise of good
His heart will falsely warm
He's got opinions cast in stone
New ones will never form
He'll just assume you're this or that
That's good enough for Bart
If you want genuine ignorance
His site's a good place to start.
From: mshemo@hotmail.com
To: Laura C. Schlessinger mail4drlaura@yahoo.com
ha
ha What does the "C" stand for?
I gots to know...
Subject: Your Attack on Columbia University
You complain, endlessly and shrilly, that your
many enemies twist your words
and otherwise treat you unfairly. I wonder
if you've ever considered how
your calculated dishonesty causes your listeners
to mistrust you and to
discount your tales of persecution. For
a clue, you should listen to a tape
of your October 4, 2000 radio show.
To begin the first hour of that show, you read
from an editorial from the
October 4, 2000 Wall Street Journal. (You
failed to identify the "piece,"
as you called it, as an editorial, passing it
off as a news story.) The
editorial concerned the new sexual misconduct
policy at Columbia University.
(Could it be that you might still be resentful
that 35 years ago, Barnard
rejected your application for admission?
Weren't you happy at SUNY?) As
you read parts of the editorial, you made three
references to NOW that
weren't included anywhere in the editorial --
not supported by any evidence,
your accusations sprang from your mania to smear
your opponents. You ended
by quoting from material produced by a group
which the editorial mentioned
as an opponent of the policy; this material was
not quoted in the editorial,
however. Anyone who thought that all of
your ranting was included in the
"piece" in the Wall Street Journal was misled.
By you. Strike One.
You've sued a number of people in your time, but
without much success.
None of your degrees is a law degree. Your
method of research is simply to
collect faxes and to cut stories out of newspapers.
On what basis,
therefore, can you defend your claim that "a
grim hypothetical in which a
violent member of an anti-fertility cult destroys
the fetus of a pregnant
woman and wins her gratitude" is -- in your words
-- "a real and complex
case" and "an interesting legal question"?
According to the editorial, it
was the exam "question" that was "about the issue
of valid consent -- and
rooted in an actual case history." Surely
an educated woman realizes that
what is "hypothetical" is -- by definition --
not "real." According to the
editorial, "the Dean of the Law School
announced that the matter raised 'a
plausible suggestion of liability and unlawfulness.'"
What training, or what
investigation, qualifies you to challenge the
Dean's judgment in this matter?
None. Strike Two.
I was amused that you made common cause, in the
name of democracy and due
process, with Columbia University students accused
of sexual assault. If
the issue was under-age drinking or recreational
drug use on campus, I doubt
you would be jumping up on those sturdy ankles
of yours to champion "the
right to confront one's accuser, to confront
and examine witnesses, to have
an attorney present -- the basic principles of
due process" in a
non-criminal proceeding at a private university.
Aren't you the one who's
always denouncing parents who hire lawyers, or
call in the Reverend Jesse
Jackson, to defend their precious bunchkins from
penalties for misconduct --
penalties including suspension and expulsion
from school? Aren't you the
one who endorsed mandatory drug testing in a
public high school -- a search
of every student's person, whether or not there
is any reason to suspect
that student of unlawful drug use? What
is it about an allegation of rape
of a drunken or drugged coed that calls forth
this patriotic fervor in you,
that inspires -- at long last -- a concern for
due process? Does the accused
rapist's plight remind you of the charges against
you in the court of public opinion?
Your TV show is tanking, your advertisers are
running for the hills,
so that must mean we are losing our democracy,
we're losing our country.
Or so you say. Strike Three.
...just so people don't forget,
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