Quick Reminder
Larry Flynt was right about Bob Livingston cheating on his wife.
Larry Flynt was right about Bob Barr's secret abortion.
Larry Flynt was right about Dan Burton's secret bastard.
Larry Flynt was right about Henry Hyde breaking up his mistress's
marriage.
Larry Flynt was right about Newt Gingrich's secret girlfriend.
Larry Flynt was right about Pat
Boone raping that shoe box.
Larry Flynt was right about every damn claim he ever made.
But the ditto-monkeys say, "He's no Matt Drudge."
Drudge was wrong about Sid Bluementhal beating his wife.
Drudge was wrong about Clinton fathering the black baby.
Drudge was wrong about the secret service catching Clinton.
Drudge was wrong about all those anti-Clinton books that he
guaranteed "would bust Washington DC wide open."
This time, they are correct.
So when Larry Flynt says he has "proof" Smirk paid for an abortion,
how can you bet against the man who's never been wrong?
General Motors - Porn Kings?
The General Motors Corporation, the world's largest company, now
sells
more graphic sex films every year than does Larry Flynt, owner
of the
Hustler empire. The 8.7 million Americans who subscribe to DirecTV,
a
General Motors subsidiary, buy nearly $200 million a year in
pay-per-view sex films from satellite, according to estimates
provided by
distributors of the films, estimates the company did not dispute.
From: sagruber@att.com
Subject: Kindly drop out of the Race
Mr. Nader, while your crusading
for the consumer has been very honorable,
your campaign and rhetoric towards the
Democratic nominee is having the
effect of making you a hypocrite.
You are helping the cause of a giant
corporation bought candidate and enemy
to the environment. Democracy is
made up of many compromises, and at
least Al Gore will, at least, do his
best to protect the environment, influence
campaign finance reform and
take on big interests. If you
take enough of his vote, you will have effectively
help elect someone who will NOT do ANY
of those things.
Thanks,
Scott Gruber
Scott, good point.
The one thing the nuns taught me that stuck was the math.
If Gore loses by 3 percent, and Nader gets 5 percent, Nader will
have been
the best friend Big Oil, Big Business and Big Pollution ever
had.
Is that even arguable?
Do me this favor...
Help the NFL fight breast cancer. Log
on to NFL.com on Tuesday,
Oct. 24, the NFL's Breast Cancer Awareness
Day, and visit NFL For Her.
The NFL will donate $5 for every page
view, up to $50,000,
to the Komen Foundation to prevent breast
cancer.
Log on to make a difference!
http://www.nfl.com/nflforher/index.html
Click on that, it just takes a second and it'll do some good.
The Stupidity Issue
by Michael Kinsley
ha ha
Trudeau would trade Jane Pauley for a Smirk administration.
In my broken bone rant from last night (see below) I forgot to
mention
Lauren Hutton, who just had a real serious motorcycle wreck.
I know what it's like to have broken bones.
Possibly the world's first supermodel, I never really had the
hots for Lauren
but I always respected her "I'm getting older and fuck you
if you don't like it,"
attitude that I think raised the bar and helped all women everywhere.
She had surgery on her right leg today, a leg that's more broken
than
Smirk's dreams of sitting behind the most important desk on the
planet.
She also has a broken sternum, which means she won't breathe
without pain
until President Gore's second year in office, plus a bunch of
minor ailments
like a broken wrist and a Troy Acheman, and assorted shit everywhere.
Hang in there, girl.
When you feel pain, hit the nurse's button.
If they say, "Hold on, we're changing shifts,"
you tell them "fuck that, I'm in pain!"
And look at the bright side,
...at least you're not Gary Busey.
Great Part-Negro Hairlip Quotes
"If she wins and Al Gore loses, Hillary Clinton
will become the instant
front-runner for the Democratic Party's
Presidential nomination in 2004.
In other words, if we fail to stop Hillary
now,
it will be much harder to stop her later.
"
-- Urgent letter from Rep. Bob Barr (R-Admitted Baby-Killer)
...sounds like a good reason to vote for Algore.
This Just In...
NRA opens branch office in Glandale, AZ
Developing...
How To Be A Good Republican
By: Ann Richards
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year
prosperity was
due to the work of Ronald
Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's
gasoline prices are all
Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth
achieve
success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs,
but you expect Social Security
checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their
disease, but smokers
with lung cancer and overweight
individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe... everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing
and hotel industries
can survive without immigrant
labor.
8. You believe God hates homosexuality, and loves the death penalty.
9. You believe growing up black in America doesn't diminish
your opportunities,
but you still won't vote
for Alan Keyes.
10. You believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You believe in prayer in schools,
as long as you don't pray to Allah
or Buddha.
12. You believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were faithful husbands.
13. You believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You're against government interference in business,
until your oil company, corporation
or S & Loan is about to go broke,
then you beg for a government
bail out.
16. You believe Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You believe government has nothing to do with providing
police protection, national defense,
and building roads.
18. You believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history
and failing grades
will be admitted into an elite
private school with a $1,000 voucher.
Sent by Cecilia Flowers
The Governor of Missouri says he will appoint Mel Carnahan's widow
to the United States Senate if Carnaham posthumously wins.
That sex pervert John Asscroft (R-I need more Monica details) is in trouble.
Vote Carnahan November 7th
From: hudson_todd@hotmail.com
Subject: WOOD radio
BC,
I was surprised to see you shilling for
WOOD radio, the beacon of hate radio
for Bland Crapids, Michigan, my former hometown.
Not only do they have a
continious block of Whora, Horsefucker, Limba,
Liddy, and Michael Reagan,
they also have some local nutjob that makes Michael
DelGiorno look like a gay Unitarian.
Your Faithful Reader,
Nosduh
Nosduh,
A couple of times a day I get e-mail saying,
"Did you hear Rush at 20 after the second hour when he said "X"
and "Y?"
I would much rather point people to the actual slurs, rather
than try my best
to quote them if I hear something in the car or when I'm not
taping.
There's a thing they use in court called, "best evidence."
"Shilling" isn't the word I would use to describe finding a place
on the web
that has archived the lies and crimes against minorities by Laura
and Pigboy.
These transcripts can and will be used against them in the court
of opinion.
If that makes me a "shill" for hate radio,
I guess I'll just have to accept that label as being part of
the job.
From: mrsjudyochristian@yahoo.com
Subject: Strangeness
I just heard on the radio that the MUSLIMS
endorsed Bush!
Something VERY strange is going on.
Judy O'Christian
The outrageous behavior
of the major media spreads to C-Span
By Bev Conover
onlinejournal.com
October 23, 2000 | With just a little more than two weeks before
Election Day,
the "big" news the major media are focused on is not the issues,
but a photo of
Al Gore on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.
And C-Span is the latest to obsess over it.
Never mind that George W. Bush is aiming to start the mother of
all wars. That his
tax plan will put the country down the toilet economically. That
his plan for Social
Security is a crap shoot that will enrich Wall Street at the
expense of the people.
That his prescription drug plan will send people, with hats in
hand, to welfare agencies
to beg for help for the first four years and after that, cost
them $6,000 a year before
they can get help from the feds. That his education plan will
wreck the public school
system and have children learning nothing other than how to take
tests.
That his anti-affirmative action stand will put women and people
of color in their place.
That women will again have to seek dangerous back alley abortions.
That his farm plan
will make family farmers further captives to the Archer Daniel
Midlands. That under his
plan for energy exploration, the environment is toast. That stuff
is just too difficult for the
majors to deal with.
And they'd really have to do some work to investigate Bush's military
record, the reason
why he obtained a new Texas driver's license, and whether there
is any foundation to the
rumors about drug use, alcohol abuse or if he aided a former
girlfriend in getting an abortion,
and if he did so at a time when abortions were illegal.
It is much easier to spread and make up lies about Al Gore.
You know, Big Bad Al, the liar, the exaggerator – make that "serial
exaggerator"
– the embellisher; Big Bad Al, the mental case; Big Bad Al, who
doesn't know who he is.
And when those who have done their homework – such as Martin Heldt
and Robert Rogers
did with the AWOL story, and we did with the new Texas driver's
license story, and Larry
Flynt has done with the abortion story – and try to deliver it
to them on a silver platter,
it's kill the messenger time. Not only kill the messenger, as
George magazine and Salon tried
to do, but distort the facts and cook the documents, and, in
the case of CNN, exercise
censorship to send the nastiness down the Memory Hole, or, in
the case of Linda L. Starr
and yours truly, simply pretend that we and what we found don't
exist.
Never mind that the Democratic National Committee's New York office
was burglarized.
Never mind that, until caught, reporters traveling with the Bush
campaign were having their
mail intercepted by the Bush people and, if it came from the
Karen Hughes said they were
under no obligation to deliver mail from Gore. Never mind that
George W. has a 15-minute
attention span, is hard-pressed to utter an intelligible sentence
or has no physical stamina.
We certainly don't expect the overpaid, over-coiffed celebrity
press corps to expend
some effort to make a big deal out of this stuff.
Why make a big deal over National Rifle Association President Charlton Heston's remark:
"Now, [Al Gore is] saying 'I'm with
you guys on guns.'
In any other time or place
you'd be looking for a lynching mob."
The crowd responded with
"let's do it" and "I've got a rope."
-- The Grand Rapids Press, October 17, 2000 quoting
NRA president
Charlton Heston
and describing audience reaction.
If anyone else, other than Moses Heston, exercised his right of
free speech in that manner,
he would be taken into custody and have much explaining to do
about his threat to harm
or calling for others to harm a presidential candidate, plus
authorities would consider it
doubly threatening because the candidate is also the vice president.
But who cares?
Neither the authorities not the major media.
Hell, it was only Al Gore who was the target (forgive the pun)
of Heston's and his
followers' remarks. Of course, if someone on the other side who
matches Heston in
prominence suggested George W. Bush should be lynched, that would
be an entirely
different story – undoubtedly topping the nightly news on TV
and splashed above the
front page fold of the newspapers.
The majors are doing everything in their power to get George W.
elected.
He's great for their pocketbooks and they have a score to settle
with the people for
not doing their bidding in kicking Bill Clinton out of office.
So this also explains why
they aren't even questioning – just questioning, not going
to Wyoming and Texas
– whether Dick Cheney meets the residency requirements set forth
in the Constitution.
Dallas attorney Robert Dennis says it appears that Cheney, should
he and Bush be
elected, has a problem under the Twelfth Amendment and Wyoming
law. Shoot,
they can turn a blind eye to that, too, and, with a little help
from Bush's friends,
perhaps get the Texas electors to do likewise should the Bush/Cheney
ticket be elected.
Most folks don't understand the beauty of the Electoral College
anyway and are apt
not to pay attention. Why worry about a possible constitutional
crisis?
So why tip the apple cart by making a big deal of all these things
or pointing out Bush's
Texas record, something else that is all documented for them
if they bothered to look?
Hey, it's no big deal that George W., as a kid, liked to stick
firecrackers in frogs and
watch them explode. From the reported comments of his childhood
buddies that was big
sport among Texas boys. They surely wouldn't want to disparage
those "family values"
Poppy and Ma Bush instilled in their shrubs... offspring.
It's easier and safer to pick on Big Bad Al, bury the Bush record
and, as some us suspect,
even skew the polls to confuse people. Claim Bush is leading
and those who want to go
with a "winner" will jump on his bandwagon, right?
But as we come down to the wire and all the Big Bad Al stuff is
wearing thin, the majors
have found a new meaningless goody to seize upon. It's Gore's
photo on the cover of
Rolling Stone. And what is it about the photo?
Look! Look! Look at the size of Big Bad Al's package!
Bizarre? Yes.
Disgusting? Absolutely.
This round of madness was touched off by none other than that
paragon of pseudo journalism
Matt Drudge, who displayed the cover on his web site and wrote
in his Oct. 18 Drudge Report:
Publishers row was stunned late Wednesday after it was revealed
how
ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE had air-brushed Al Gore's crotch region
in a jaw dropping cover spread in it's Nov. 9th issue.
If that isn't enough to turn your stomach, Drudge tried to give
his latest bit of
salacious garbage validity by writing:
ROLLING STONE editor in chief Jann Wenner
had no comment on a report
from the online service INSIDE.COM which
first detailed the Gore photo shoot.
Gore's protruding portrait actually
had to be brought down a bit, according
magazine insiders. The khaki-clad
Gore appeared erect in the original photos
which were later modified.
We understand that Drudge has his fantasies, which undoubtedly
are shared by
Rush Limbaugh, who made great sport of what the photo purportedly
shows.
Such manure coming from this foul pair is hardly surprising,
but when it is picked up
and spread by the majors' self-appointed priestly caste – the
latest being C-Span
– it is outrageous.
Just what does the photo show? For those of you who haven't seen
it, we are
exhibiting it here under the fair use provision of the copyright
laws.
We see Al Gore clad in a pair of what appears to be khaki corduroy
trousers, in a
poorly lighted photo that emphasizes the nap of the fabric that
is raised in several areas.
If others think they see something else, so what? It would be
great to have another
president with some balls. Now go tell that to the children.
Also tell the children that
when it comes to pornographers, the major media beat Larry Flynt
hands down.
My Choice on November 7
By James
Higdon
Funny that Paul Begala would be taking these weeks off.
Seems like his party could use him now...
A letter from President-Elect Bush
Dear Contributor
President Elect Bush needs your help selecting his cabinet officers.
Please, with your next contribution, send me your thoughts.
Here are the names of the finalists in consideration so far.
Some names appear twice, until we settle on our lineup.
If you have any suggestions, please send them with your next contribution.
Thanks for giving me this chance,
Smirk
===================================
Attorney General - Larry Klayman
- Nancy Drew
- Rudy from Survivor
Sec of Agriculture - Helen Chenoweth, experience with beefcake,
...uh, beef supply.
- Mallard Fillmore
- Wayne Andreas.
Sec of Commerce - Ben Stein
- the "BE DIALIN, PEOPLE!!!" guy from QVC
Sec of Defense - Couldn't find any military men who'd work for
a
complete idiot, so what about Dick Cheney.
- Farrah Fawcett had some good kicks as an angel
- The Rock
Sec of Education - Fred Phelps
- Laura Schlessinger
Sec of Energy - Ted Nugent
- Chico "the bag man" Macocco
- David Arquette
Health & Human Services - fuck the poor
Housing and Urban development - Leona Helmsley
- whoever runs the colonias in TX
- Tracy Mayberry, Gore's tenent.
- The CEO of Frigidaire.
Sec of Interior - Matt Glavin
- President of Enron Oil.
- President of Exxon Oil
- President of BP-Amaco
Sec of Labor - Leona Helmsley
- Kathie Lee Gifford
- The Bush family maid
- Tony Soprano (on paper only)
Sec of Transportation - Ralph Nader, as payback for the 5% siphon
Sec of Treasury - Kneel Bush
- Wily brothers
- Raymond Patriarcha, of the Rhode Island mob
- Kneel Bush
Sec of Extermination and Elimination - Tom Delay (Promised)
Sec of Intimidation - Dick Arney (Promised)
Sec of Vet Affairs - Ollie North
- Admiral Stockdale
- Capt. Crunch
- The Vulgar Pigboy
Sec of Screeching and Harping - Laura Schlessinger
head of the CIA - Colonel Flagg
- Ronald Reagan
- Donato Dalrymple
head of Immigration - Maryslesis Gonzales (promised)
head of the FBI - Mark Fuhrman
- Barbara Bush
- Charlton Heston
- Rudy Guilianni's whore
head of ATF - Wayne LaPierre (Promised)
Drug Czar - Whitney Houston
- Pat Summeral
- Jeb Bush
- Scott Weiland
head of FEMA - Timothy McVeigh
- Pickles Bush, who proved she can stay calm in a crisis
- Regis
- Vacant (Crisis? What Crisis?)
head of Council of Economic Advisors - Anna Nicole Smith
- Jerry Falwell
- Moe
head of FCC - Vulgar Pigboy
- Howard Stern
- Larry
head of EPA - Joseph Hazelwood
- Earl Butts. If he's dead, even better
- Curly
- fuck the environment
head of Office Management and Budget - Newt Gingrich, they say
when it
comes to money, he's tighter than Marie Osmond on prom night.
head of Small Business Admin - Bill Gates
US Trade Representative - Pat Buchanan
- Ollie North (experience with overseas sales)
- Smirk Daddy (experience with overseas sales)
Ambassador to the UN - Daniel Carver
- Chevy Chase, as Gerald Ford
- Jesse Helms
Hey, that's not funny.
Not one damn bit.
Because Helms could be true!!!!!
Koresh help us when he beats his shoe on the podium.
White House Chief of Staff - John Sununu
- Lynn Cheney
head of the Republican National Committee - Lee Atwater
If you know of other qualified people I could use,
please send their names in immediately.
Contributors:
christian06@earthlink.net
jennyq1@aol.com
WatsMata4U@aol.com
There's a webpage that COULD be a Koresh-send
http://www.woodradio.com/media/
keep an archive of Laura and Pigboy's
last week of shows, which would be double-eggs-cellent (as
Drudge might say)
for hearing the ugly lies yourself - but the links are down!
Try it and see if it works for you.
When I try it, (both computers) the mouse turns off when it floats
over the links,
Does this happen for you, too?
If so, write to those guys & tell them to fix it!
This could be a helpful site if it works!
From: tboggioni@aswechange.com
Subject: Bush video
Has anyone out there managed to make a video file of the infamous
"Bush-cleaning-his-glasses-on-Letterman" film.
Sure would be fun to spam that around.
T Boggioni
San Diego
Why won't the press give out the facts?
from http://www.iknowwhatyoudidintexas.com/
From: dirosnic@unity.ncsu.edu
Subject: GoatFucker
That goat-fucking pic...
Bush is the fucker and CNN is his bitch.
Popabear
Dittoes to that.
Funny, CNN wants him elected,
and Fox is fighting for Gore.
Both are shameless whores to the max.
From: watsmata4u@monmouth.com
Subject: Baseball
You have no idea what you are missing. This
area is in-fuckin-sane with
baseball fever. Saturday night's game was one
of the best games I've
ever seen. I was in a bar of course. All the
ginmills were packed. The
crowd was pretty evenly divided with Yankee fans
and morons. Every time
a play was made half the crowd is yelling and
half is booing. By the
11th, the place was screaming. If you took your
eyes off the screen and
something happened, you'd hear cheers, but you
still didn't know which
side they were cheering for. I can't think of
another sporting event
where the crowd is for both sides.
The Mets were beaten into a coma when they
lost game 1. They were
sitting on the bench after the game, heads down,
like they just lost the
series. Met fans don't want to hear any shit
right now. The Clemens
thing is pretty funny. Met fans want him arrested
for carrying a deadly
weapon and Yankee fans just say "Get some runs".
I hope it goes seven. I want another Sat.night
game.
Last weeks game almost went past closing time.
Great nite.
You poor, delusional fella.
Baseball ended last week.
Tell your doctor you are seeing things
so he can adjust your medication.
A good round-up of where
we are right now.
Highly recommend...
Click Here for the better, official Salon story with links
Click Here for the forever version.
Clinton Won't Go
Someone sent me a column, and I lost it, like most things, but
it was written
by a double-severe ditto-monkey and it was about what will happen
if Clinton
refuses to step down on January 20th, ...and they weren't kidding.
Hell, I may have printed that - did anybody see it? :)
Speaking of going crazy, I might slow down after Smirk is defeated
and read
some of what got posted this year at bartcop.com.
Sometimes, when I get e-mail from a shit-hot writer like Joe Conason
or Molly Ivins
or Christian Mitchell or Tamara Baker, or when I'm blessed -
Betty Bowers,
I scan the first paragraph for the words "sopranos, Kate, Zeppelin,
Harmon and tequila,"
and suddenly it gets posted before I get a good read on it..
And sometimes, I rant and type and transpose and cut & paste
and post something
I had written, but never stopped to read it a second time
to see if it made sense..
Sometimes I'll be searching a back issue for a follow-up on a
story and I see stuff
I don't remember writing, but it makes perfect sense because
I wrote it.
ha ha
Yeah, ... I need a rest all right
But if anyone has seen that "Clinton won't go" column, could you send it?
Today's Page Two Girl is a salute to older women
Look!
It's Joe Conason vs Ralph
Nader
By the way, win or lose,
if Smirk gets 51 percent of the female vote
I have half-a-mind to switch from 55/45 to 45/55 on abortion.
If women want Jesse Helms to make their reproductive decisions,
then I have no business sticking my nose in their affairs.
Reminder:
Dennis Miller reference translator at http://www.brittanica.com/
I've been there evry week, it's funny as hell.
BTW, did you see that quarterback they thought was dead?
He was being pulled down from behind, and some huge sombitch
came
flying in and hit him in the upper chest and bent him backwards.
The cameras caught a close up of him, face down in the field.
It looked like he was either dead or had a broken back.
Koresh...when they played that replay, the whole crowd dropped
to a whisper.
Wisely, the producers put up some football updates for Al Michaels
to read
because everybody was shook up and nobody had a clue what to
say.
...and there's poor Dennis Miller there, and you could tell this
was his first time
with a live mic watching the possible death or dismemberment
of some guy.
Miller, smartly, said next to nothing.
It was a good time to exercize some discretion.
Good for him.
They showed another set of replays and it was very sickening.
Did you see the night, years ago, ML broke Theisman's leg?
If you've ever had a broken leg or two, just watching that Theisman
tape
or this poor bastard tonight can make you light-headed.
But after 8-10 minutes, the guy got up and walked off the field.
The crowd was more relieved than Algore on November 8th.
Dennis Miller reference translator at http://www.brittanica.com/
What do the cute, rich girls with expensive shoes say?
Get a leg up...
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