Savannah, GA -- "I thought my offer was dead,"  said Mr. Sacco, who two weeks
ago declared himself the rightful ruler of all Palestine and the true King of Israel.
"But suddenly I seem to have some legitimacy after Senator Clinton met with me."

"I thought he was here to put up the cabinets I ordered," Senator Clinton told reporters.
"I've been waiting and waiting for Bill to but them up, but, all he does is sit around
devising plans to stop terrorism and bring peace to the world.  What about my needs?
I need those cabinets!"

"Senator Clinton was very accommodating, " Mr. Sacco told reporters. "She seemed to
see things my way at the end of our meeting.  Of course, she did ask me to make a
compromise."  The compromise, as reported by the Wall Street Journal, was that in
exchange for Mr. Sacco leaving and never returning again, Mrs. Clinton would not press charges.

"All in all, " stated Mr. Sacco, "I feel we made a lot of progress on the relevant issues."
Then the man who claims to be the rightful ruler of all Palestine and true King of Israel
added sheepishly, "I'm really sorry about those cabinets.  And then there's the damage
to the wall and the mess...I'm really sorry about all that."

Senator Clinton expressed a more cautious brand of optimism about their meeting,
"Thank goodness Chelsea didn't bring him home!  And who knows, maybe Bill will
finally put those cabinets up now that he sees the mess Mr. Sacco made."

With the Saudis' offer on the table, which does not give any land to Mr. Sacco
at all, things do not look hopeful for the newest contender for Palestinian territory.
Mr. Sacco, who is of Italian heritage, has devised a unique plan to persuade people
that all the land of Palestine should be his to rule as he pleases.  The plan, called
"Pizza for Everyone!,"  seeks to convince people that he has the best cuisine out
of all the contenders for Israel.

"Hey," said Mr. Sacco in one of his more candid moments, "I like pita bread as
much as the next guy, but it can't stand up to  sausage and peppers."

As of this writing a compromise may be in the works.  The details of this plan are
being closely guarded but may involve Mr. Sacco accepted a weekend stay at the
King David hotel for a discount price in exchange for giving up his claims to any land.

A sticking point with negotiators for Mr. Sacco has been the lack of anybody
who wants to negotiate with them.  Still, Mr. Sacco remains undeterred.