I saw a bunch of reviews for new movies.
 It's so obvious, they must be doing this for the extra-stupid people, AKA the majority.

 Movie One is About Schmidt starring Jack Nicholson

 It gets spectacular reviews from:
 
Newsweek
The New York Times
Rolling Stone
People Magazine
Entertainment Weekly

 That tells me this movie doesn't suck.
 

 Movie Two is Bringing Down the House starring starring Steve Martin and Queen Latifa

 It gets spectacular reviews from:
 
Mose Persico of Entertainment Spotlight  - ha ha - what is that?
    I have a rule (since I'm old) if I never heard of you, you can't be that big.
    But Touchstone Pictures used Mose as their top quote -n because he praised it
Jim Svejga of KNX Radio loved the movie - ha ha - who is he?
Richard Reid (Shoe bomber?) of the Northwest Cable News - ha ha - where are they?
David Sheehan of CBS loved it, but what show is he on?   I've never heard of him.
Mignon Turner of Hollywood Hotwire said you'll miss jokes from laughing so hard - ha ha - who is he?
   Is Hollywood Hotwire  owned by Touchstone?
Mike Cidoni of ABC?  ABC what?  ABC Carpet Cleaners of New York?

 
 That tells me this movie sucks like Bush's economy.
 
 

 Movie Three is Tears of the Sun starring Bruce Willis.

 It gets spectacular reviews from:

Tony Toscano of Talking Pictures - ha ha - what is that?  A kid's website?
Richard Horrmann of Parade Magazine Radio - - ha ha - what is that?
   We all know Parade Magazine Radio, but what the hell is Parade Magazine Radio?
   Are they owned by Columbia Pictures, the film's producer and distributor?
Mignon Turner of Hollywood Hotwire said "Willis is a stunning actor," which he is - stunningly bad.
   Mignon liked the Steve Martin movie, too. His/her opinion just miiiiiiight be for rent - ya think?
To be honest, (and what is  bartcop.com  if not honest?) Ebert & Roeper called it "The best military thriller
   since Blackhawn Down."  Wasn't Blackhawn Down the last military thriller released?
 

 That tells me this movie might suck, but not as bad as Bush's economy.
 

 But, who made the most money?

'Bringing Down the House' Tops U.S. Box Office with $31 million.

 That's gotta be a misprint, or maybe it did so well because it's competetion was Bruce's Tears of a Clown
 which brought in a less-than-thrilling $17M. (I'll bet it cost $150M to make Tears, so $17M out of the chute sucks)
 
  Will Ferrell's Old School brought in another $9M in its third week - not too shabby for a cheapo movie.
  Chicago took in another $7M after 11 weeks - I'll bet Willis would kill for those numbers.

 Jack's About Schmidt brought in less than $2M, but they've banked $54M in 12 weeks, so he'll be OK.

 I'm not sure what any of this means, but "Quality is rewarded" is probably not the lesson learned.

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