Hey Bart -
Here on what might turn out to be War Day,
2003, I have far too many things
to say to you for this small space.
But I'll try anyway.
When I first submitted my "antichrist"
website, you wrote back. I tried to open that mail for weeks; there
was nothing in there.
I responded somewhat urgently, and you
said I needed a good stiff drink implying, of course, that I have gone
off the wall.
That kind of thing is always a sticky finger
on my hair trigger, especially because I am in a state of financial ruin,
often go
without food, yet I found the wherewithal
to send you hundreds of dollars over the years. But now I'm "off
the wall",
unworthy of consideration or acknowledgement.
So I will have my say...
Sidebar:
Bob has been a semi-major contributor since before Juliefest,
but he seems not to be able to grasp the concept that
I can't read and respond to every letter and that's puzzling
to me. We get around 300-500 e-mails a day, and if anything,
I try harder to read and respond to people who have contributed.
(I hope that's not a scandal.)
I confess to being unfamiliar with Bob's "antichrist" site.
I've never intentionally sent blank mail, but I get blank mail
every day.
And please, do not go without food to send money
to bartcop.com
You wrote once that I am passionate and,
therefore, often angry. You're right. That's why I worked day
and night for
weeks creating one of the most effective
and informative websites out there, only then to be roundly dismissed as
an idiot
and a fanatical fool. Despite the
fact that the news, even your own site, is ripe with the terms, "Armageddon"
and "Apocalypse",
my particular version is somehow unacceptable.
I have submitted it everywhere, and it is roundly rejected with more politely
patronizing remarks implying very raised
eyebrows. It is very uncomfortable, you see, because it is too close
to the truth
about everyone, especially for those on
the "other side" of the religion issue.
Bob, I'm sorry your website has not been more widely accepted.
Without seeing it (again?) I can't hazzard a guess as to why.
I suppose I've used the words Armageddon and Apocalypse
before, but I really can't remember the circumstances.
Maybe that kind of talk scared your readers?
OK then, here's my point (some of it).
I have studied for a lifetime, #1 - at the very most highly regarded institutions
of learning
on the planet and, #2 - with the greatest
minds in existence, those concerned with my particular area of expertise.
I have lived
in monasteries of various religions.
I have lived with hermits at the end of dead-end roads. And I have
driven down Sunset
Boulevard toward Santa Monica stoned with
crack whores and street hustlers listening to Steely Dan: "Drive west on
Sunset
to the sea..." (Wish I was there
now.) My point? I have a comprehensive life experience, and
I know things. Why?
Because unlike so many, I wasn't watching
football games, playing video poker at the local bar or down at the casino
in
Las Vegas trying to win $50. I was
learning something about life, about the truth, about what it means to
be a human being.
Hmmm, that sounds like a shot at Ol' Bart.
Y'know, this is (or was) America, and people are free to hate
Las Vegas all they want.
You're also free to hate the number "16," and the letter "S,"
but why would you bother?
It might be a mistake to characterize your life experiences as
"better," ( my word) than those of other people.
You also seem upset that others don't share your opinion that
you are superior to them.
Do you think that attitude might have caused some readers to
turn away?
There is no better way to express that
something than with the imagery of religion. That's what religion
is about; It tells us
something about life. And that something
is, unfortunately, unavoidable - a mathematical certainty. Knowing
or not,
believing or disbelieving, aware or unaware
makes no difference whatsoever. So I tried to communicate something
vital
at this most urgent moment in human history.
But because phony "christians" have turned religion into a laughing stock
over and around which their political adversaries
cannot see, I am categorized and dismissed.
Hold on - I'm equally dismissive of all
religions, not just the gutter religions.
Is that what this is about? Were
you trying to convert me?
The religion has not been invented that
could get me to turn my back on science and logic.
Yes, in response to those efforts, I am
roundly rejected, patronized, dismissed, even ridiculed by those who ostensibly
share
my values and commitments. Too bad.
Well, I am just petty enough to be absolutely offended, and I WILL take
my leave of
this madness. You said, "We need
you on the team". I contributed everything I had to give, but all
anyone wanted was the money.
Believe me, it's not me who's going to
need a good stiff drink. And the money will turn up useless in the
end.
Again, if I had any idea you were sending me your last
dollar I would not have accepted it. According to you, I wrote and
told you to have a good, stuff drink. (That's often good advice.)
You also said I wrote back and said, "We need you on the team,"
which sounds like I was politely reacting to another of your
angry letters, yet you complain that I haven't given you enough attention.
I can't go one-on-one with each of my readers - I don't know
anyone who could. I think you may have an unrealistic view of how
many hours are in each day. You also imply that I'm doing
this for the money. If that was true, wouldn't I take extra time to be
sure
to "stroke the whales," to use a Las Vegas term?
Adieu, mon frere. It's too
late for any further dialog (as if there were ever anything substantive
going on). So I'm outta here.
The wise man knows when to fold his cards
and walk away (Kenny Rogers). I have removed all my web presence.
I will make no further effort. America
is doomed. I'll do something else now. Religion taught me that,
too.
Do not bother to respond. When I
say, "I'm gone", I'm gone.
Bob
So, you're not even going to read this...
I'm old enough to know that there are people who are going to
be angry no matter what.
If you were trying to buy a long-term, close relationship, I'm
sorry the transaction didn't go thru.
I do my best to answer as much mail as I can.
Well, if you're not reading this it won't matter anyway, but even
though Christian does a lot of
free work helping me with mail and advice and planning etc, this
is still primarily a one-man operation.
There's no way I can keep up, all I can do is my best.
One last thought? There's a chance that religion is your
problem and I certainly hope that there
was never a time when "Bart" and religion occupied your mind
at the same time.
I hope things get better.
Bart