A brief history of time
In 1992, draft-dodging, dope-smoking, skirt-chasing KGB agent
Bill Clinton kicked the
living shit out of World War II boat-strafer George herbert-herbert
Bush.
(Bush laid down to help bury his Iran-Contra crimes,
but that's another story.)
Richard Mellon Scaife didn't like that, so he started "seeding"
the trailer parks
of Arkansas in an attempt to find low-class women with no self-exteem
who
would be willing to sell their dignity, their privacy, their
marriage, their kids,
(and as a bonus, their ugly bodies to Penthouse magazine) in
an attempt to
tie up the president with one frivolous lawsuit after another.
Mr. Scaife was surprised how cheap trailer park tramps were in
Arkansas.
Amazingly, the Supreme Clowns went along with this idiotic
scheme.
But Clinton outwitted these cock-hunters and that made them very
angry.
In 1996, this same draft-dodging, dope-smoking, skirt-chasing
president kicked
the living shit out of another World War II veteran, this
time it was a real hero.
This angered the Knuckledraggers even more, so they took things
into their own hands.
(To their credit, they didn't use a 30.06 this
time.)
The myriad of pyramid schemes of different "gates" came up drier
than Kato Burn
watching Gone With the Wind in the dark with a vibrator
and a nice Chianti.
Robert Fiske tried and tried and tried but couldn't find any
evidence of wrong-doing.
So - they went to "Plan B."
While Bob Barr started drafting impeachment papers, the white-power
triumverate of
Helms, Sentelle and Wholecloth fired get-nothing-done Fiske and
hired famed tobacco
whore Hardon Kenneth Starr to find something - anything
- on this interloper Clinton.
Still nothing, so the panic set in. Thanks to the skill
and genius of Bill Clinton,
all the gates were swinging against the people who brought the
suits.
Finally, like manna from Heaven, Monica opened her mouth once
to often.
Linda Tripp called Luci the Bat who called Matt the Egg Beater
and it looked like
they were finally going to be able to overturn the election of
this Phillistine!.
But Clinton whipped them like a runaway slave.
Like the Little Engine that Couldn't, the GOP failed again and
again.
Proving that even unevolved species can learn, the GOP decided
that for Algore
they were going to "nip it in the bud," and have Jeb fix this
year's Florida ballots
and here we are, smack in the middle of Impeachment II.
Will they get away with it?
No
Will they scare the timid with the efforts?
Yes.
Like Clark Howard says - "Don't Let Them."
The Republican Party is made up of cheats and liars - that's a
fact.
If it wasn't a fact, in the last ten years I would've been able
to find somebody
who could successfully argue the Republican point of view, but
noooooooooo.
They can't win on ideas.
They can't win at the ballot box.
They can't win if they play by the rules so they fucking cheat.
Like I said, we should thank them for not assassinating Bill Clinton,
but we shouldn't
have to sacrifice our right to vote as payback for their allowing
Clinton to live.
...and I'm getting tired of our side not fighting back.
This Just In...
An ancient motorcycle was found buried in the sands just outside
Jerusalem.
Biblical scholars quickly determined - is this for real? - that
it belonged to Jesus.
C'mon, now, you can't fool Ol' BartCop with a story like this.
I'm no Bible expert, but I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't have a
motorcycle.
Did he????
As soon as I heard this story, I checked with my super-religious
friend Judy O'Christian
over at Landover
Baptist Church. Judy did some digging and, lo and behold,
praise His name, He DID have a motorcycle, and he rode it everywhere.
Judy found the passage in Romans 4:14 where it said,
"Jesus's Triumph was heard across the land."
<heavy sigh>
I miss you, buddy...
Today in History
Thirty one years ago today, the Republicans started whining that
the media was biased against them claiming "It just wasn't fair."
In 1969: Vice President Spiro T. Agnew, speaking in Des Moines,
accused network TV news departments of bias and distortion.
"Wahhhhhhhhhh," he
said to a bank of cameras and microphones.
"It's not fair, wahhhhhhhhhhhhh"
he whined.
Agnew, who was taking bribes from anybody with a cause to promote,
eventually had to resign in disgrace, as it the case with all
guilty politicians.
In his press conference temper tantrum, he urged viewers to lodge
complaints
against the networks and "pitch a bitch" whenever they didn't
take his side.
Weels later. Pat Buchanan was hired as a speechwriter after he
came up
with the cute and catchy phrase, "Nattering
nabobs of negativism."
So Happy Anniversary to the whiners and sore losers of the GOP.
Flashback to Nazi-Con 2000
Quote of the Millenium, so far
Cheney told senators he obtained student
and marriage deferments because
"I had other priorities in the '60s than military
service.''
Jesus Christ, you think the 58,000 men who
died in Vietnam
had "dying for my country for no goddamn
reason" on their priority list?
...are we sure Smirk is more stupid than Cheney?
.......
Alan Rickman knows how to get thru this
election mess.
If only he wasn't drinking Cuervo
(gag me)
Florida is looking at a new ballot for stupid people...
Smirk - the White-knuckle Drunk
VISTA DEL MAR, Calif. (AP) - Martin Sheen, America's favorite prime-time
president,
told a group at a California treatment center Saturday that he thinks
George W. Bush is
a "white-knuckle drunk." In his speech, Sheen said he was concerned
that Smirk never
received counseling after a 1976 arrest for drunken driving.
"He's still in denial about it," said
Sheen.
"You have got to be in a program. I did not
make up the rules about that."
Throughout his campaign, Bush refused to explain the depths of his cocaine
and alcohol
addiction by first smirking, then admitting he "made mistakes while
young" and then claiming
that he gave up alcohol at age 40.
Sheen said he is a recovering substance abuser himself and does
not mean to insult Smirk
but to force him to acknowledge the severity of drug and alcohol dependence.
Fox caught lying - again
NEW YORK (AP) - A much-watched Fox TV special
that promised viewers the first look
at ancient relics bamboozled them instead, according
to an "Inside Edition" report scheduled
to air next week. "Opening the Lost Tombs: Live
From Egypt," broadcast in March 1999,
showed an archaeologist creeping through two
Egyptian tombs and uncovering a mummy,
skeletons and pottery believed to be 5,000 years
old. But Zahi Hawass told "Inside Edition"
that he knew what Fox's cameras would show him
finding even before the broadcast.
Asked whether he actually discovered the mummy
live on camera, Hawass says,
"No, that burial chamber belonged to a tomb that
I found a month before the show."
The "Inside Edition" report airs Tuesday in most
cities.
Fair and honest - you decide?
From: TigerTime8183@aol.com
Subject: Smirk Started It
Bartcop:
Rewind your memory bank to Tuesday night, when
Bush came on television to
complain that Florida had been prematurely given
Gore. He was on camera with
his mom and dad and wife. It was SMIRK
who insisted that he could not concede
Florida until the absentee ballots were counted.
It was he who was insistent that he
could not have lost Florida. Now you tell
me who started this business of contesting results.
Gore has been goaded into a fight he might not
be able to win.
How can anyone beat back this degree of dishonesty
and corruption?
Did you hear about Gore rallies across the country?
People for the American Way has schedules for
rallies coming up on Nov, 18.
...is someone feeling guilty about pushing so hard for Nader??
Judas Maximus - the Premier Traitor
Perhaps the biggest network star to emerge during the 2000 election
is Judas Maximus
--who, as you may recall, was a Clinton backstabber during the last
election. ABC has big
plans for the once-respected whore-traitor, trying to convert him from
a mere Sunday
morning cock hunter to a ubiquitous analyst and campaign-trail streetwalker.
Diane Sawyer, co-whore-in-chief with Baba Wawa wants him to serve as
a guest anchor.
"I'd like to perform oral sex on him," says the blonde floozy, to noone
in particluar.
Not everyone thinks this is a great thing.
"Stephanopoulos has been dismissed by some as nothing more than a partisan
apologist disguised as a pristine and objective--if telegenic and appealing--observer,"
writes Brill's Content, one of the few non-whore publications
in the political world.
As a goof, Brill made the formerly trusted Clinton aide its December
cover boy.
Paul Begala yelled at his former friend after the first debate:
"Goddammit, George, how dare you call Al Gore
arrogant?"
Judas explained that he hadn't quite said that, and Begala now says:
"If I could leap to those conclusions and
get so angry, then how will people feel
who don't know him or, worse, have
a predisposition against him?"
(That would be any American with a TV)
Some Bush campaign officials have grumbled about the dirty little bastard,
but Stephanopoulos insists he's only being "fair and honest."
When contacted for
a quote, senior Gore campaign officials would only say, "fuck him."
"The fact that I stabbed my friend and president in the fucking back
for 30 pieces of silver
shouldn't matter anymore because I want to be taken seriously," he
told the magazine.
"I just accept that a certain group is going to see the real me no matter
how hard
I run from my past. I hate Clinton and everybody knows it, so
why can't we just
get past that so I can be a TV pretty boy flack?"
Judas continued to whine, "Hell, I'm so cute, and I know so goddamn
much about
everything, I should be busier than a pair jumper cables at a
Mexican funeral."
The Scene: A Florida courtroom
Smirk Weasel: Your Honor, we'd like to...
Honest Judge: Denied.
Smirk Weasel: But Your Honor,
Honest Judge: Denied.
Smirk Weasel: But, if the court would only listen to...
Honest Judge: Denied!
Smirk Weasel: ...but, ...but
Honest Judge: Denied!
Smirk Weasel: But, we always get our way in Texas...
Honest Judge: This isn't Texas - Denied!
Smirk Weasel: ...but, ...but we have all this money...
Honest Judge: Denied!
ha ha
How Crooked is Smirk?
Click Here for the UK Times version
Click Here for the forever version.
From: jrosenstiel@prodigy.net
Subject: November 13-- RELEASE CIA CLASSIFIED PAPERS
Isn't it tomorrow that the classified CIA
papers regarding Bush Senior's
antics in the Americas will be released?
Remember Clinton allowed for the release
to be delayed, so it would not
taint the election.. I assume
they will sneak out the release and the
media will be very QUIET on what is in
these CIA papers...
Does anyone know where on the net we can access same?
My guess would be Bushwatch.com
He's the only guy working harder than me.
This Just In....
(Noon Central)
Smirk denied motion to strangle and murder democracy in Florida.
Judge tells Rove and Baker to "knock it off."
Hand recount ruled legal, just and proper.
ABC Fires Radio Host Matt
Drudge
Smarmy scumbag gets eggs-actly what he deserves.
When ABC hired gossip-whore Matt Drudge to host a radio show last
year, some brass
--led by ABC News President David Westin--tried their best to
block the move.
ABC has just fired him.
What makes the timing especially odd is that ABC money-grubbing
whores had been
courting Drudge to go to five days a week--until corporate higher-ups
overruled them.
"I see it as punishment for daring to
report on ABC's activities," said martyr
Drudge.
"The whole notion that this is a political
payback for my Web reporting is an explosive
accusation, but I'm willing to make
it."
Isn't he brave?
Koresh, I wish I could trade places with Matt the Whore.
ABC's Julie Hoover says the decision was made with no involvement
by ABC owner Disney.
"Sunday night talk shows are just not a good business," she says.
"We're just not going to be
in that business anymore. . . . It takes up a lot of your time
but makes very little money."
Drudge says he never received a complaint about the content of
his Sunday show. Asked if Drudge's
reputation as a semen-chasing slug was a factor in the decision,
Hoover did not respond directly,
saying "ABC radio marches to its own drummer. They make the decisions."
It's not hard to understand why Drudge would be unpopular in ABC
and Disney executive suites.
He called MNF producer Don Ohlmeyer a liar for allegedly misleading
reporters about Pigboy's
chances of slurring blacks and gays on their football broadcast.
Responded Ohlmeyer: "This is a gossip columnist who doesn't really
care what the facts are and
he writes it and then everybody asks questions about what he
writes and then they have a story."
In his book "Drudge Manifesto," the author includes Disney Chairman
Michael Eisner among
"the latest incarnation of vampires"
who
"have
sucked the blood from the fourth estate,
leaving behind infotainment formaldehyde."
ha ha
This, coming from Matt Drudge?
Drudge wants more credibility in the press?
ha ha
After giving up his television show in a dispute with Fox News
Channel,
Drudge is back to a one-man operation with no links to major
media companies.
Why I Love the Fox Network
by Jotun
Forgot who said it
It could've been Jon Stewart
"Trent Lott warned Hillary that when
she gets to the Senate,
she better not show up with this
know-it-all superior attitude,
and she needs to understand that
she's just one of a hundred now.
Hillary knows what it's like to be one of a hundred..."
From: aspeac@netins.ne
Subject: Attention all demos. old people , tree huggers and creeps
Alan Arnold Gore is going to lose, and you
old people will be eating dog food.
I will be setting here and laughing all
the way to the bank in my cadilac
using gas from pristine Alaska.
ttttttttttttttooooooooooooooo bad
Sincerely,
Greg Beckett
Greg,
I think you need to take your "cadilac" to a mechanic and tell
him you're missing an L.
Scare in K-Drag
When I got in my car to go to the Post Office, the back window
was busted.
Ever vigilant for Republican assassins, I cocked "the baby."
Checking the back seat, I saw a brown plastic trash bag.
I checked my perimeter, it was safe, so I looked inside the brown
bag and
I'll be damned if it wasn't about 2,000 Gore ballots from Florida!!!
What the hell's going on?
A History Lesson
by Jeff Williams
Some newspapers do strange things during elections.
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, owned by
Richard Mellon Scarfe, pulled all pictures
of Al Gore on the Sunday before the election,
rewrote an Associated Press dispatch to
play down any mention of the vice president
and bumped the story of a local Gore rally
inside the paper. Scaife is a conservative
philanthropist who helped finance the American
Spectator's investigations of President
Clinton.
The rival Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, which
reported the move,
said the Tribune-Review's managing editor
protested but that Scaife overruled him.
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review - they hide - you decide.
If this is your first check-in since Friday, check out Chris Rock's
take
on that big-ass mess we have down in Florida.
This is a skit from Friday night's show.
I think it's one of the funniest things I've heard all year.
Is Wanda Sykes the funniest woman in America?
I say yes.
A masterpiece by skisics
surus
We get so few masterpieces here.
This is the entire "The Wall" album by Pink Floyd.
A shot of Chinaco for skisics.
Joe Conason on Smirk's DWI
Last week in college football, there were no upsets in the Top 20.
The closest we had to an upset was Bob Jones almost beating the Electoral College
Standing ovation for this 'toon.
I wish I could read the artist's name.
I'd send him a thank you note.
That Bush boy is bad seed.
Click Here
to download a really small audio MP3 (under 700K)
of Paul Harvey getting into Dr. Laura's pants.
Did you see The Simpsons Sunday night?
Krusty the Clown said he banged Cokie Roberts during Desert Storm.
ha ha
She deserves it, that whore.
Maybe she's just afraid she's losing her career, but after that
shit she pulled
on Al Gore - she deserves to lose every goddamn thing she owns.
Such a blatant and disgusting piece of journalistic trash she
turned out to be.
Of course, I can't say she's the most disgusting whore in Washington
because her competiton is so damn fierce
I'm so old, I remember when Cokie Roberts was a decent reporter.
But nooooooooooooooooo.
She decided to ride Clinton's cock for almost three years.
Cokie - don't you have kids?
Do they allow themselves to be seen with you in public?
I wish I knew what it was.
Is there just more money in attacking the left?
What would explain her absolute and total fall into the whore
pit?
Cokie - you disgust me.
You have the morals of a crack whore needing a fix.
You have the integrity of the crack whore's pimp.
But you also have the money of the crack whore's dealer
and that's what the bottom line is, right, Cokie?
Don't you have any shame, Cokie?
You disgust me.
You are one pathetic sleazeball whore, you know that?
You need to retire before, ...before, ...well, I don't know.
There's nothing left to salvage, is there?
You make me sick, woman.
And if this wasn't a family web page,
I'd tell you what I really think, ...slut,
Guest Editorial from MWO
Did Saturday Night Live give a "shout out" to Ol' BartCop?
Ten days ago, I mentioned my lust for anchorwoman Tina Fey.
I said she was a hotter-looking babe when she was wearing her
glasses,
because glasses make a girl look smarter and smart women
turn me on.
I also said, and I quote:
Do you guys need any writers?
If you steal any more of my stuff, I'll
take that as a "yes,"
but don't worry - I'm not going to sue
you.
During last night's Weekend Update, "Janet Reno" was hitting
on Tina
and as she left she said, "I like smart
girls, but don't get too smart."
I think they were sending me a signal that they read bartcop.com
...does this mean they're offering me a job?
Great Republican Quotes
"We'd be happy to withdraw our court
action if Al Gore
would just lie down and let George
W Bush have this election."
-- James Baker, Smirk's boy
That's a ditto-monkey's idea of compromise.
From: abbau@msn.com
Subject: Big Time Draft Dodger
Bartcop,
Don't forget while Butch was AWOL, Big Time Dick
Cheney was busy dodging the draft.
Remember when he was testifying before Congress
he pissed on the graves of every
Vietnam vet by saying "I had better things to
do during VietNam."
So here you have some guy going AWOL and a Draft
Dodger wanting to run
the country and a guy who went to Vietnam paired
with a Freedom Rider.
Who would you trust?
john
chicago
A brainless war-time deserter and a corporate whore draft-dodger...
I'm surprised their slogan wasn't, "Because honor is everything."
How's Bill Clinton handling this election crisis?
I have a question...
Has George W. Bush ever not been the stupidest man in the room?
Think about it -
When he was going to school at Yale and Harvard, the others might've
been doing some drugs, but at least they had a working
mind to waste.
When he's home for the holidays, he's with his mom and dad, bother
Jeb,
brother Kneel and brother Marvin, so he's the dumbest son of
a bitch there, too.
When he shared a debate stage with McCain, Hatch, Keyes, the Bag
O' Hairspray,
that Gary Bauer woman and the Lumberjack from Tennessee,
he was always the dumbest son of a bitch on the TV screen.
When he was on the campaign trail with Karl Rove and Karen Hughes
and
the other members of his Smirk 2000 team, those people are sharp!
When he was onstage with Al Gore and Jim Lehrer, he was the weak
link
in that chain too. Even the other Republicans would admit that
- privately.
Hell, even the baseball people I know are pretty sharp.
So - when is Smirk the smartest guy in the room?
Guest Editorial by Jeff Kramer
Great Boxing Quotes
"If you come to war, you have to bring
your whole arsenal,
not just a left hook and
a haircut.''
-- Lennox Lewis, the intelligent champ
Cindy Crawford says,
Don't get behind...
Read bartcop.com every day!
From: hardison@cfl.rr.com
Subject: Another Florida County
In Volusia County, Florida, (which is the county where Al Gore's ACTUAL
VOTE
COUNT dropped by about 16,000 when one of the precincts reported what
appears
to be negative votes,) The Washington Post is reporting that
when they were asked to
recount their ballots, they simply compared the computer printout to
the computer screen.
There is no way they can ever recount the actual ballots because so
many
of them are still unaccounted for. From the Washington Post Article:
"Friday, county workers found a ballot bag
in their vault without a seal,
another with a broken seal and a third
on a shelf with ballots spilling out. "
If you were watching the news on Wednesday, you would have been able
to
watch a live recount by idiots. County officials were performing
a recount
in front of the cameras from the local Nitwitness News, and some old
geezer
walked in with a bag full of ballots that NO ONE EVEN KNEW WAS MISSING.
This was also described in the article from the Washington Post:
That was underscored when poll worker Gene Tracy, 79, walked into the
election office Wednesday explaining how a bag of ballots was left
in his car.
“I about had a cotton-pickin’ stroke,”
he told a local reporter.
“I hollered for my wife and I said, ‘The dadburn
ballots are still in the car.’ ” "
I am sorry to keep writing you with stories of vote fraud in Florida.
I am
not sure what you can do about it. Maybe I am just trying to
vent, and
hoping that you collect everyone's vents, and make a volcano out of
it.
Dave
Today's Page Two Girl knows how to rack 'em
I could've sworn I printed a picture of the confusing ballot,
but nooooo.
In the lower right-hand corner, there's a name that'll catch
your eye.
Florida they had TEN presidential candidates on the ballot.
The Commies, the Green Party, the Reform party, the Pinkos and
others
and the presidential candidate for the "Worker's World" party
was...
(check the last name on the bottom right)
That's right!
It's MONICA MOOREHEAD!
MONICA MOOREHEAD! ...and she's in politics?
I'd vote for her just for having the courage to leave the damn house every day.
MONICA MOOREHEAD?
Make them stop!
from Maxim Magazine
I'm glad he didn't smack her, but James Carville and Mary Matalin
were on Meet the Whore with the head Cock Hunter, Tim
the Catholic.
........
When asked about the election, Mary got all somber and mentioned
Bob Dole and the World War II Memorial and how sad it would be
if
all those men died in battle protecting democracy and years later
a silly fool like that idiot Smirk was denied the White House.
She had no business dragging that kind of emotion into this mess.
Those men also died for free and accurate elections, Mary.
Besides, Smirk went AWOL for two years, which
is a FACT
the press refuses to address until he's firmly esconded in the
big chair.
If we're going to honor our war dead, let's not elect a war-time deserter.
Carville said, "I have to be a husband AND a politician here,"
meaning
"I'll get no sex for a decade if I disagree with her on this
one."
Mary, that was a cheap shot and a low blow.
Hey, Smirk!
Is that the biggest band-aid you could find?
What the hell's going on under that band-aid?
Does the public have a right to know what's going on?
Did Pickles throw a lamp at you or something?
Any time there was an imperfection on Clinton's face, the press
(and the vulgar Pigboy - always) would speculate the injury
was caused by an
enraged Hillary, but then again, Clinton never had that huge
of a cover-up on his face,
so maybe we should get to the bottom of this before they re-cast
their ballots in Florida?
What if our next president doesn't wipe his face?
Should we get the facts on this before the re-vote?
Notice how coordinated the GOP spin machine has been?
"Gore lost the first count, (not
true)
Gore lost the second count (not
true)
and they want to keep counting until
they get a result they like."
Every one of them, using those exact same words.
I wonder what the penalty is for unauthorized word substitution?
Republicans are like a word processor:
You program them and they spit back the exact same words again
and again.
Since they control radio and television, we've all heard that
mantra a hundred
times so far, and we're going to hear it hundreds of more times.
I don't mind the GOP pulling for Smirk - I'd expect that.
But don't they have enough brains to put anything in their own
words?
One of the frustrations with arguing with ditto-monkeys is they
always repeat
the words the vulgar Pigboy used, making me wonder if they have
any clue
about the subject, or do they merely have the ability to memorize
short blurbs?
One other thing, Jimmy:
How did Bush win those two counts if a Miami cop is holding a
box of ballots
in the evidence room of a Miami police station? It looks to me
like you guys
prefer Jeb Bush's incomplete and inaccurate count because it
favors your boy.
I mean, why bother with the will of the people, right Jim?
After all, Smirk is a saint, right?
I think state laws are really stupid and I've said so for years.
Isn't this mess in Florida another example of why state laws suck?
This election almost certainly will be decided accpording to
Florida
state law, and that's not necesarily a smart way to pick our
president.
State laws are stupid, stupid, stupid.
In times like this, state laws sneak up on the other 49 states.
For all practiocal purposes, state laws are "secrets."
When you go on vacation, it's not practical to research the laws
of
every state you wonder into. Why should Americans have that burden?
In 1991 or 1992, We flew to Cleveland, rented a Town Car and drove
to DC, then drove thru New York to see a friend in Boston. I
mentioned
that I had "the baby" with me, and my Boston friend told me that
was a
mandatory prison sentence if I got caught.
What horseshit!
I'm supposed to know the gun laws in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia,
DC,
New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Massachusetts?
In Texas, they give you a goddamn medal if you carry a gun,
but in the Northeast it's mandatory prison time?
Koresh, I flew to Cleveland.
American Airl;ines knew I was packing heat. If they deliver
me to a state
where you can't carry, aren't they partly responsible for that
gun?
State laws are horseshit.
Say it with me - "Horseshit!"
To carry this really stupid idea another step further, why doesn't
each state
strike their own coins and print their own paper money?
The next time you hear the phrase "state's rights," tell
them BartCop says
that states trying to be so individual is horseshit
and give them my e-mail address.
There are tens of thousands of really stupid laws still on the
books in each state.
To expect outsiders to know these crazy quirks is as crazy as
religion.
By the way...
What's up with that 6-inch band-aid on Smirk's face?
Some guy on Fox said Smirk had an infected hair thingy
on his face.
Uh-Oh...
You know what that sounds like?
Pigboy's pilodinal cyst!
Yes, it's hard to believe, but Rush AND his sainted Daddy each
had
infected pilodinal cysts on their ass from improper hygeine.
They say Pigboy's cyst weighed 40 pounds!
That was good enough to keep him out of Vietnam, boys and girls.
For more than eight years, Rush has been screaming "cowardly draft-dodger"
at Bill Clinton for trying to avoid and stop that war.
But when "here, piggy, piggy" had a chance to join that "noble"
war,
he couldn't because his daddy never showed him how to wipe his
ass.
The army won't let you join them, even in wartime, if you
don't wipe your ass!
But that's not even the big question.
How did Smirk get on his face what Pigboy has on his ass?
You can't blame me for the mess America is in.
You can't blame me for pushing Smirk into a tie.
You can't blame me for causing all this trouble.
You can't blame me for voting my conscience.
You can't blame me for a Smirk Administration.
You can't blame me.
You can't.
You can't.
Blame Tom Tomorrow, not me...
I saw another funny while watching the circus on CNN.
Gore spokesman Doug hattaway was being interviewed by one of the
CNN anchors.
Anchorboy said they needed to hurry up and solve this "crisis"
because time was running out
and they'd need some preparation to get up to speed and hit the
ground running.
The Gore spokesman smiled and said, "We're ready."
ha ha
While catching the circus on CNN, I heard Moneyline bragging that
they were in 37 countries.
That sounded "funny" to me.
So I checked my server logs.
bartcop.com is in 45 countries.
ha ha
Eat my dust, CNN.
You'd think they would cover more ground than bartcop.com
We don't mind this smirking idiot running our planet - do we?
The ditto-monkeys on Fox News Sunday predicted Gore will win
the recount.
Then Smirk will "go to the mattresses" and file lawsuits in every
state he barely lost.
We have a mess here, and there's only one way out:
First, you have Smirk and Fuzzy agree up front that whoever finally
wins this,
the loser will do a joint press conference with the winner and
pledge his full support.
(Bob Dole said on This Whore that there's
talk of boycotting the inaugural.
We gotta "nip this in the bud," as Barney Fife
used to say.)
Have the radio and TV stations in Palm Beach get the word out
that everyone who
voted last Tuesday can vote again. Print up some REAL and READABLE
ballots
and use a goddamn ink pen this time instead of pregnant chads,
for Chrissakes,
and let's elect us a winner so we can get on to the next
emergency the press creates.
That, or let Clinton stay on, and I'm not kidding.
As always - BartCop has the answer.
Read the Previous
Issue
It was the best issue ever.
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