It just dawned on me...

 The Washington Redskins?

 They wanted to play like gentlemen.
 I'll bet they're Democrats.

From: Bill_Satyr@intelligentcia.com

Subject:  Harris was supposed to set the standard for counting!

Inspite of the Republican claims that there could be no counting of ballots
due to a lack of a uniform standard, in front of SCOTUS, their attorney
admitted that  HARRIS  was the one who had the power too do this all along!

>From a link to a transcript on Buzzflash:

O'CONNOR: Would the starting point be what the secretary of state decreed for uniformity?

OLSON: That is correct, and...

O'CONNOR: Is that the starting point under the Florida legislative scheme?

OLSON: I would agree with that, Justice O'Connor.

O'CONNOR: And what standard did the secretary of state set?

OLSON: She had not set one, and that's one of the objections that we had with respect to the process

Fuck me! "They can't count because no uniform standard has been set"
Who sets the unifrom standard?
JarJar Binks-Bush's girlfriend Harris!
Did she?

Hell no!

Now I'm really pissed off.

Bill Satyr
 

Bill,
That's the kind of thing the whore press will completely ignore.

 Correct home page for the Wizard of Whimsy

 Mr. Conservative

 Saturday night, just before the U2 explosion on SNL, I was in the chat room
 and ran into "Mr Conservative," who's been looking for a rhetorical fight.

 We had an impromtu debate.

 (streamlined version)

 Clarification

 I did not produce this fine graphic.

 It was sent to me by the Wizard of Whimsy at  http://wizofwhimsy.topcities.com/

 The Wizard is an obviously-talented left-leaning artist with whom I had "artistic differences."
 I am posting this as an attempt to heal old wounds so we can fight the real enemy,
 which is Bush, Rush, the GOP and the partisan-whore clowns pictured above.

 I just saw something that I can't believe.

 According to the server logs, only 208 people clicked on the Lennon link.
 That's less than two percent of the  bartcop.com  readers.

 Koresh, I have misjudged my readers.
 Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry or upset, but less than two percent?
 Put another way, ninety-eight percent of you didn't care to click?
 I'm shocked like I haven't been in a long time.

 I see three possibilities:
 A. The server logs are lying.
 B. Nobody cares about the topic.
 C. I did a horrible job presenting a gloomy subject.

 Logic tells me to go with "C..."

 Great She-Nazi Quotes

 "My television show is NOT in trouble (big, hearty laugh)
  The media just made that up because they hate me."
    -- Laura, who's on at 2 AM in the big cities now.

 Correction:

 I was wrong about one of Scalia's sons working with the whites-only,
 cock-hunting tobacco whores who are trying to subvert the will of the
 people and give this election to the Smirked One.

 Turns out TWO of Scalia's sons are busy raping the Constitution.

 http://www.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/stories/12/11/president.election/index.html

 Excerpt:
 • Some Democrats raised alarms Monday because two sons of Antonin Scalia
   work for law firms connected to the case. John Scalia accepted a position with the
   Miami-based firm Greenberg Traurig on November 7. . A second son, Eugene,
   is a partner in Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher -- the firm representing Bush in the
   Supreme Court arguments.
 

 Yet, Scalia swears he can be impartial, the lying slut.

 Rush keeps whining about "different standards" and how unfair that is.

 But since state's rights are the backbone of the GOP,
 why are they complaining that they finally got their wish?

 Remember Bob Dole carrys a copy of the 10th Amendment with him,
 (or at least that's the crock of shit he tried to feed us in 1996)
 but suddenly the GOP wants one set of rules for the entire country?

 That's the position I've been for since Volume One.
 State's rights are stupid, stupid stupid.

 BUT,

 If you're FOR states rights, the theory being the local people know best,
 how can you be against local control of the ballots?

 My position is constant and unwavering.
 The GOP likes to hop back and forth.
 Yes, we're for it,
  no, we're not.
 Yes we are,
  no we're not.

 I sure wish there was one conservative on the Internet who could debate...

From: mikelaz@earthlink.net

Subject: Your humor

Hi,

1. Great humor.  I would actually agree with much of your election
commentary if it weren't for the obvious disregard by the Florida
Supreme Court of the laws of both Florida and the United States.

2. Keep up what you're doing.  Your power base is growing.
As long as you can continue to find (or create) the self perceived
disenfranchised, you're bound to win in the end.  This is, after all,
how every leftist movement in history has gained power.

Merry Christmas!
Sorry.. Forgot.

3. Violates the separation of Church and State.

Mike Lazorchak
 

Mike, you appear to be a Republican with a sense of humor.
Is that possible?

1. How arrogant for the Supreme Court to assume they know more about
Florida law than the Florida Supreme Court. The members of the FSC probably
average 25 years experience each, yet those arrogant shitheads in Washington
have been "experts" for what, a week now?

2. Yes, we feel "disenfranchised" whenever Smirk's brother, cousin and campaign manager
certify him the president before the votes are counted, then ask his Daddy's appointees
to certify what Smirk's brother, cousin and campaign manager have certified too early.

3. ha ha  I forgive you, but don't let it happen again.
By the way, you don't know any fast-typing conservatives with balls who know at least
eight years of political history who might want to debate sometime, do you?

I just know, as the decades fly by, I will find ONE conservative who's not afraid
to get in the ring with a confused Catholic liberal with an IQ of 64.

 zzz The myth of the "liberal" media zzz

 Let's do a "what if" so I can make a point. I think it's a good one.
 I think it's so good, I'd like to hear from anyone who disagrees.

 What if a show like Dateline did a "hatchet job" on Smirk?
 It wouldn't have to really be a hatchet job, but any honest appraisal of that idiot's
 qualifications would prove he's a non-thinking rich man's boy - and that's all.
 But what would happen if Dateline did an unflattering portrait of Smirk?

 I'll tell you what would happen:

 The vulgar Pigboy would spend at least three hours saying it wasn't true
 and he'd offer hours of rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Bill O'Reilly would spend at least an hour on his show saying
 it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Sean Hannity would walk all over Alan Colmes for an hour that night,
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Eva Von Zahn  would spend at least an hour that night saying it wasn't true
 and she'd offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 The Beltway Boys would spend at least an hour that night saying it
 wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Brit Hume and Tony Snow would spend at least an hour on Sunday
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Juan Williams and Mara Liason would spend their entire allotted time
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 John McLaughlin would spend at least an hour on his syndicated show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Chris the Screamer would spend at least an hour on his show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 G. Gordon Liddy would spend at least three hours on his radio show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Laura the Whore would spend at least an hour on her radio show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Michael Medved would spend at least an hour on his radio show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Sam and Cokie would spend at least an hour on This Whore
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 George (Judas Maximus) Steffi and George (dumb as a chimp) Will
 would spend their entire allotted time swearing that it wasn't true.

 Bob Scheiffer would spend at least an hour on Face the Whore
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Tim the Catholic would spend at least an hour on Meet the Whore
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 John Hockenberry would spend at least an hour on his show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Ollie North would spend at least an hour on his radio show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Robert Novak would spend at least an hour on his cable TV show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Paul Weyrich would spend at least an hour on his cable TV show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Still with me? We're close to the end...

 BSNBC's Brian Williams would spend at least an hour on his show
 saying it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Wolf the Whore would spend at least an hour on his show saying
  it wasn't true and offer rebuttal as to why Dateline was lying.

 Bill Schneider and Candy Crowley would do an hour special on CCN
 (Clinton Cock Network) saying it wasn't true, and offering rebuttal.

 John Stossel would have a special on ABC:  Is lying OK for liberals?

 Then Howie Kurtz would spend 30 minutes on Reliable Sources asking
 if the media wasn't being too hard on a developmently-disabled child.

 Barbara Olson would write a book condemning Dateline.
 Ann Coulter would write a book condemning Dateline.
 Laura Ingraham would write a book condemning Dateline.
 Peggy Noonan would write a book condemning Dateline.
 Andrew Sullivan would write a book condemning Dateline.
 William Safire would write a book condemning Dateline.

 OK, we're going to call the above "Exhibit A."

 Now, everyone on that list has done at least a dozen hit pieces on Clinton.

 My question is,   Where is "Exhibit B?"

 When those 38 people attack Clinton and his cock, who does the rebuttal?

 Even you ditto-sheep have to admit that nobody on that list
 has EVER defended a fabricated lie against the president.

 There is no "Exhibit B," because there are no liberal shows on television.
 The closest you can get is Eleanor on McLaughlin, or Carlson/Hunt on Capitol Gang,
 but there are no liberal shows on television, even though there are DOZENS
 of right-wing, Smirk-apologist shows whose livelyhood is lying about liberals.

 I don't think you ditto-heads can offer an answer.

 Prove me wrong.

 Ugly Football Moment

 Dallas and Washington really hate each other.
 In their game yesterday, a Dallas player named Ekuban got a sack on
 the Redskin's quarterback, Jeff George. A seond later, while George
 was still down, Ekuban flipped him on his back and started dragging
 his "body" away like he had just killed his prey.

 ...and the sissy Redskins just stood there and let it happen.
 They're the highest paid team in all of sports and they have no balls,
 they have no pride and they have no self-respect.

 The blind-pussy ref didn't throw a flag, which was unconscionable.
 What Ekuban did was FIFTY times worse than taunting with a football.
 If you score a touchdown and hold the ball up for the defender to see
 you get a penalty for "excessive celebration" or taunting, whatever they call it.

 But dragging the wounded body of the wounded team's leader gets no flag?
 That's major league horseshit!

 If I was Jeff George, I wouldn't take another snap for those Redskin girls.
 George was barely unconscious, he just been plowed in the back by the 300-pound
 Ekuban, and now the Dallas player is playing with his lifeless body?
 That's probably the ugliest thing I've ever seen on a football field.

 Recently, this year, last year - I forget, they outlawed that "slashing throat" motion
 because it was "too gangsta." But dragging a wounded quarterback for fun isn't worse?
 That's worse than being a gangsta, that's being a fucking animal.

 And what's worse than what Ukuban did was the Redskin's response.
 That entire team should've launched all at once.
 I think the entire team should gone fucking postal and, if necessary thrown the game.

 If the ref wanted to kick every Redskin off the field - fine with me.
 But I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna let a Cowboy drag my wounded quarterback
 around the stadium just so he can get some he-man giggles out of it.
 If I was a Redskin, I'd want word to get out that fair hits are fair hits, but if you so much
 a touch my wounded quarteback, you've got a fucking riot on your hands that won't stop.
 Let the whole league uinderstand - you do this to our QB and there's no turning back.
 That's Def Con Five on a football field if BartCop is coaching, mother-effer.

 Jesus Christ, if Ekuban grabs your wife's ass in a restaurant, you gonna lay down, too?
 What if Ekuban picks his nose and rubs it in your dinner?
 You gonna lay down for that, too?

 The Washington Redskins deserve to lose every game the rest of the year - at least.
 They're not a football team.  They're not even men.
 They are helpless little girls, skipping fucking rope!

 I'm really, really old, and I've never seen anything like that before.
 Ej\kuban sould be suspended for the year and the Redskins should be disbanded as a team.
 They should pretend their plane crashed on the way home and get some special
 deal with the draft next year so they can fire every chicken-shit coward on that team,
 except for Jeff George who I don't particularly like, but hey, if he's my quarterback,
 I'm gonna stand with him and defend him when he's hurt..

 Jesus, I'd hate to go to war with a Redskin watching my back, the cowards.

 I think what Ekuban did was the equivalent of whipping out his Tom Delay and
 peeing all over the quarterback while he laid there, helpless to defend himself.
 I guess those scaredy-cat Redskins would've accepted that, too.

 A shot of Cuervo with a pubic hair in it to the little girls who make up the Redskins.
 I hope you overpaid dishrags don't win another game this year.

You can get this on a t-shirt from cunninghamstrikes.com

 Poor Tom Delay
   He's trying to battle Clinton on the budget.   Doesn't he ever learn?
 

. John Lennon - Twenty Years Gone     .Where were you when you heard?
   If you sent a story that's not listed, send it quick to bc_publish@yahoo.com
  I finally got the rest of the Lennon stories up.
 You can get there from the original lennon.htm or you can punch in lennon2.htm

 Well, the ruling could come down any time now.

 The cock-addicted white-power tobacco whores of the Supreme Court
 are going to decide if they want their boy in office or the people's choice.

 You know they're going to rule for Smirk, you just know it.

 Will there be riots?
 Is this the end of democracy in America?

 We're not going to have a Christmas this year, are we?

 This election mess can't possibly be over in the next two weeks,
 and we can't look away, and be with our families like we want,
 because Rove, Bush and Delay are COUNTING on us to look away
 so it'll be that much easier to install King George II.

 Christmas of the year 2000 is therefore CANCELLED.
 

 Damn, it would've been nice to have a Christmas...

From: rcox@m-y.net

Subject: C Span Clowns.

Wow Bart Cop,

I was watching C SPAN today and saw your clowns in poster size.
It said, "Bring in the clowns."

Randy

 ha ha

 I hope the clowns, themselves see it, too.

 Fox in the Bush House
 How Smirk's cousin called the election for Bush - when he didn't have the votes.

 Click  Here

 Have you been to the "Spirits" section?
 (Link on the splash page)

 Joe the Bartender has been doing a good job creating "the bar."

 Joe told me he's had some good response about local brews.
 (I haven't sent him my report on T-Town Red Beer yet.)

 By the way, have you ever had Three Stooges beer?
 It tastes pretty good, at least I like it.
 On the box it comes in, it says, "We all put the yeast in," ha ha
 I don't drink much beer, but Three Stooges beer tastes like a winner to me.

 I'd like to ask you world travelers to contribute some content, too.
 Have you ever traveled somewhere and had an exotic drink?
 Back when I had the Hard Rock Island club, our bartender took a vacation
 in Hawaii and came back with a drink they make there which is served
 inside a hallowed-out pineapple.

 So when she came back, she went to the local supermarket and bough a dozen pineapples,
 hallowed them out, filled them up with rum and "stuff" and threw a big party for the Rock Island
 gang on a Sunday when we were closed.

 How about you people who've been to the Caribbean?
 Do they have some fancy rum drinks in Aruba?

 Do Ol' Joe the Bartender a favor and send him some drink recipes
 from some exotic places you've been, since most of us won't ever get to go.

 By the way,
 You're probably wonder how I can be warning about getting your guns before
 they take our country away from us and then get trivial with some drink recipies,
 but one has to stay sane when the going gets rough.

 We can't live inside this political mess every waking moment.
 Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to be distracted for a while.

 Over the weekend, we tried to do a little shopping.
 One place we ended up was Barnes and Noble bookstore.

 Mrs. BartCop wanted to look for books, so I checked out the magazines.
 I noticed something that made me think of a point I tried to make during
 the great Page Two Girl debate, which seems to have been settled by the
 narrowing-of-the-bandwidth crisis we're currently going thru. (see below)

 But at Barnes and Noble, the first section you come to is "Women's magazines,"
 which featured scantilly-clad babes on the cover of every women's magazine.
 Then, as you walk around the corner, you run into "Men's magazines,"
 which also have scantilly-clad babes on the cover.

 The publishers of America have learned that both men and women want to see
 scantilly-clad babes on their covers. Now, these guys aren't in it for the jollies
 of seeing the babes - they put those girls on the covers because men and women
 want to see scantilly-clad babes - that's what makes them want to buy the magazine.

 I didn't invent this magazine-selling tool.
 Believe it or not, sex pre-dates bartcop.com

 We know why men want to see scantilly-clad babes, but I guess only a woman
 could explain why women want to see them, too. The only place you can see a
 man on the cover of a magazine is Gentlemen's Quarterly.

 Moving onward, we also dropped by Best Buy.
 Best Buy my ass!

 I wanted to buy the new Richard Pryor box set 
 Best Buy wanted $75 for a copy of that.
 I refused to pay $75 when my own web page is offering the same package for $55.
 I thought if Amazon.com wanted $55, then I might pay $60 or so at Best Buy,
 for the luxury of getting it in my hot little hands right away, but nooooooooooo.

 So I came home, clicked on the Richard Pryor icon and ordered that,  plus the new U2 CD,
 the new Beatles "1" CD, and the Best of Lenny Kravitz as a surprise for Mrs. BartCop.

 My original plan was to put up some audio clips of Richard's best stuff,
 but I guess we'll be going to "Plan B" on the audio files.

 By the way, did you see 60 Minutes last night?
 They talked about all the dot.coms that were tanking.
 They talked about allllll those web sites that lost $20,000,000 or $50,000,000,
 but in typical American whore press lazy-ass horseshit reporting fashion,
 they never once said where all those millions went.

 Did all those millions go to hire people?
 Did all those millions go for commercials to publicize the sites?
 While  bartcop.com  might be techinically "losing money,"  we're damn sure not
 losing millions after millions without any clue as to why.

 They said the biggest problem these websites were faced with was that they have
 nothing to offer the surfer when he gets there.

 Hey!
 I have an idea!
 They could all link their sites to  bartcop.com
 I have lots to say!

 They also said they poor schmucks had tens of millions in stock options
 just a few weeks ago, and now they're completely broke.

 Duh!

 If I've got "tens of millions" in stock options, I'm gonna cash a third of them in.

Can you believe this?

WASHINGTON (AP) - Lanny Davis suggested Sunday that right-wing Bushfan
Antonin Scalia may want to recuse himself from the election fiasco since his son
works for a firm that represents George W. Bush.

Eugene Scalia is a partner in the Washington office of Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher.
Ted Olson, senior cock-hunting specialist is also a partner there, is representing
Smirk in his illegal takeover of the Executive branch of our formerly-sacred government.
Olson will present Smirk's illegal position oral arguments on Monday, when the Supreme
Tainteds considers whether to allow hand counting of ballots in Florida to resume.

``Under that circumstance, Justice Scalia at the very least should disclose
the relationship, the presence of his son in Ted Olson's law firm, and
explain why recusal, at least for appearances' sake, isn't desirable,'' said
Lanny Davis, former special counsel to President Clinton.

Are the networks even bothering to cover this way-too-obvious conflict of interest?
I wondered why the Smirk team would ask a whites-only, cock-hunting tobacco whore to
plead their case - and now we know. His partner's daddy has two votes on the highest court.

Scalia needs to recuse himself.

And while we're at at Clarence "Slappy" Thomas should recuse, too.
He's obviously way too close to the Bush family to rule with any impartiality.
If it wasn't for Smirk Daddy needing an unqualified quotaboy on the high court,
Slappy would be a Men's Room attendent at the Willard Hotel in Washington.

Slappy needs to recuse himself.

We have a close election,
Jeb rigs the voting process in Florida,
Ambassador Harris certifies that the quick-count is legitimate,
the Florida Supreme Court tells Harris to knock off the horseshit
the GOP goon squads shut down the re-count,
then Bush's lawyer's partner leads the Supreme Court in a coup d etat
to install the son of the former CIA head as our legal president?

What's next?
Smirk's image on the American flag?

This isn't America.
This is fucking Iraq.
 

...have you purchased your gun yet?

Or are you planning to surrender?

 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

 Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the last issue written under a flag that meant something!
 

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