Political Humor
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Political Humor
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Rush's bitch, Sean Hannity, was filling in today while the vulgar
Pigboy
was having yet another hampsterectomy from his lower intestine.
As you'd expect, Hannity couldn't stop talking about Jesse Jackson.
Instead of admitting that most men are pigs, he made Jesse's cheating
about race.
To hear Sean Insanity tell it, white people don't cheat, only
those mud people cheat.
One thing he said was he couldn't figure out what was going on in Jesse's mind.
"Why wasn't he thinking about his spouse?"
he
asked.
"What was he thinking?"
he wanted to know.
Hey, asshole!
If you want to know why married people cheat on their wives,
pick up
the damn phone and call Dan Burton (R-has bastard) and ask
him, you prick!
...and when you're done hearing Burton's excuses, call Henry Hyde
(R-Broke up family)
Ask Ol' Chalky-Thighs why he posed for this goddamn picture
with his whore.
Look at that son of a bitch, fucking posing with his little tramp.
This woman left her husband and kids for that fat bastard.
Jesse might've screwed up, but he didn't pose for pictures with
her, did he?
...and when you're done hearing Henry Hyde's excuses, hang up
and call former
Rep Helen Chenoweth, (R-Militia Moll) the only woman in the history
of the House of Representatives
to literally "fuck her brains out," with her boy-toy and
assorted pieces of one-inch PCV pipe.
...and when you're done hearing Helen Chenoweth's excuses, hang
up and call Bob Barr (R-Negro)
Wait - Barr didn't cheat on his wife, he murdered his unborn
daughter.
Yeah, that's right.
Bob Barr told Larry King (saw it myself)
that the reason he wrote a check to that suburban Atlanta
women's clinic so they'd suck his daughter out of his wife's
womb into a sink was because,
"We have a joint checking account, Larry."
So Sean, you lying ball of phlem, when you go looking for hypocrisy,
why don't you
clean up your own goddamn back yard before you think about
attacking others?
There's a website called http://toy.thespark.com/burn
What they do is take polite talk like you and I use
(cough)
and then they spice it up, helping out the more timid folk among
us.
Earlier today I had a mini-rant against Jesse Jackson.
If you haven't read it, you might read it first, (down
a foot or two)
then click below to see how thespark.com "fixes" it.
By the way, you might wonder why I'm pounding on Jesse,
because some think I was too easy on Clinton.
Look at it this way:
The LA cops were fools to screw up the OJ crime scene,
right?
But the Boulder cops watched months and months of OJ's trial
coverage about
"how not to fuck up a crime scene," and THEN they went to Jon
Benet's house.
Smirk: "Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."
Have you been watching The Mole?
I saw part of the first episode, and it looked OK, nothing too
great,
but when I saw this "Spot
the Traitor," I got real interested.
I can spot a damn traitor from a mile away.
.
.
.
Charlie
Henry
Jennifer
Jim
.
..
Kate
Kathy
George
Wendi
I see the traitor!
I see the traitor!
He's Number Seven, George - the dirty rat!
What do I win?
Ummie have my prize!
Ummie have my prize!
From: liz@zrusilla.com
Subject: Pigboy the naked racist
Eric Zorn of the Tribune also listens to Pigboy
so we don't have to:
http://chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/zorn/
Note this particularly egregious outburst of racism:
Also on Jan. 9: "Bush won 55.6 percent
of the non-African-American vote.
An 11-point-plus landslide. ... What does Bush
owe people who didn't vote for him?
... It cannot be said that Bush owes these people
anything
in the political sense.
You take that black vote out of there, Bush has
one hell of a mandate, does he not?"
I heard that, too.
It helps disprove Smirk's lie, "I want to
be everybody's president."
Unseemly Alliances
By Bob Herbert
Excerpt:
George W. Bush is a nice guy, right?
A uniter, not a divider.
So why does he keep such bad company?
When I got to work, Vic the Racist was howling, saying
Jesse Jackson admitted fathering
a child not by his wife - way to go, Jesse. Your timing was perfect,
...Reverend.
Can you be a reverend and go around bagging the babes?
Hey, Jesse, you ever hear of a condom?
You ever hear of getting ...a Monica instead or having
"sexual relations?"
Mostly, have you ever thought about keeping your wedding vows?
Twenty months old, so he/she was born May of 1999, so she must've
gotten preggers
around August of 1998, which was the same month Clinton went
on TV to admit he'd
had an "improper relationship" with a woman.
That means it was seven months AFTER the Monica story broke.
Seven months, Jesse, after Monica, you were shooting semen
into your girlfriend?
Jesse - what were you non-thinking?
From: john_larney@yahoo.com
Subject: Rock On!
Hello,
Finally someone publishes
stuff on how idiotic Don Feder is.
I have read his column faithfully for entertainment
purposes because nobody makes me angrier
than he does and I can barely imagine which simps
buy his unadulterated, fabricated bullshit.
Of course he's entitled to his (moronic) opinion,
but I fear for those who believe his vitriolic pap as gospel.
Without pigfuckers like Feder, there would be
no contrast.
-John
John, you are correct. It's hard to believe someone can
write
"...Hillary planting a big wet one on
Mrs. Arafat,"
and still be taken seriously - fucking amazing.
In today's America, that horseshit
passes for journalism.
By comparison, they make BartCop's Treehouse look intelligent
and sophisticated.
If I was on a talk show with that worthless shit Feder, I would've
popped him.
Maybe if word got out that when you say something that outrageous
you have to wonder if
the liberal on the panel might launch on you, but, ...there are
no liberals willing to fight anymore.
Metallica bassist quits band
NEW YORK (Billboard) - Jason Newsted has left Metallica after
14 years.
"Due to private and personal reasons, and the physical damage
that I have done to myself
over the years while playing the music that I love, I must
step away from the band,"
Newsted said in a statement.
"We part ways with Jason with more love, more mutual respect
and more understanding of
each other than at any other point in the past," drummer
Lars Ulrich added. "I'm looking forward
to hiring his replacement for less money which means more
money in my pocket, which,
frankly, is why I keep doing this year after year."
Cosmo lauds Debra Messing
NEW YORK (AP) - Cosmopolitan magazine has named Debra Messing its
Fun Fearless Female of 2001. Messing, star of NBC's "Will and Grace,"
is on the cover of the February issue, now on newsstands.
Cosmo editors chose the 32-year-old for her "professional and romantic
resume,"
which includes her Emmy nomination for best actress in a comedy.
Great Scientific Quotes
"Who ever thought that you could make
light stand still?"
-- Dr. Seth Lloyd
From the Viva Las Vegas Newsletter
Coinless slots are getting more and more common.
It's already happening in some
Vegas casinos, and plans are in the works for
testing some coinless slots at a few Strip casinos.
Watch for this new system to eventually replace
most large coin payouts.
Players can still hear the sound of coins dropping,
thanks to special audio chips
inside the slots that simulate the noise
of coins hitting a tray.
...big Al Gore sigh
To Subscribe: send an e-mail to billhere@lvcm.com
On the Subject line write: subscribe
The Dangers of Hiring People Smarter than You
"I doubt Mr. Bush's contention that tax
cuts are
the right antidote to the looming
economic downturn."
-- Treasury Secretary-designate Paul O'Neill
ha ha
How a once-respected, but now turned-whore newspaper operates
Start with a big, flashy headline that sure to provoke families of the dead.
January 18, 2001
Embassy Suspect Warned
U.S. of Yemen Attack, Papers Show
But, when you read the story, they reluctantly reveal part of the truth
It could not be learned how the authorities
followed up on the information
or how detailed it was.
You see how they are?
For all we know, this suspect said,
"Someone might be planning an attack
on a US ship somewhere in the Middle
East in the year 2000."
But a whore paper can't increase circulation that way, so they
get all "Fox News" on us
with their headline designed to get Clinton-hater's attention
because, after all,
it'd be just like Bill Clinton to intentionally send our servicemen
to their deaths, right?
Since Matt Drudge became managing editor of the New York Whore
Times, they've run
one embarassing story after another - all designed to draw attention
to Clinton's cock.
New York Times - thy name is whore.
From: tonycliftonn@yahoo.com
Subject: Catholic?
"The Pope is wrong
in opposing the death penalty.
The pontiff has misinterpreted
the teachings of the church."
-- OK Gov Frank Keating (R-Better Catholic than the Pope)
Hmmm...last time I checked, the Vatican was infallable.
The Vatican, as a point of Catholic belief, is
never and has never been wrong about anything.
This is a matter of Catholic doctrine.
Keating must be a bad catholic.
Tony
Well, he's certainly not as good a Catholic as I am, which is pretty
damn scary.
Y'know, I'm not asking the Church to straighten up on my account.
I don't want back in...
I won't go back until God appears before me and does tricks.
When I "attack" the Church, it's like when I "attack" the spineless,
bend-over Democrats.
I expect so much more from them than they are giving.
But when Keating attacks the Pope, he's calling him a liar and a
fraud.
You don't tell the Pope he's "wrong," and still be considered a good
Catholic.
What's the point of having
a religious zealot on your team
if he's going to abandon
his priciples for the sake of politics?
Whore City, Jan. 17 — John Ashcroft
told the Senate Judiciary Committee today that, if
confirmed as attorney general, he would
not seek any opportunities to challenge Roe v. Wade,
the Supreme Court's landmark ruling upholding
abortion rights, a statement that momentarily
alarmed some of his supporters in the anti-abortion
movement.
Mr. Ashcroft said he expected to take that
position even if the Whore Court
was to change in a way that might make
the court more inclined to overturn Roe.
So, is Ashcroft a liar? ...a traitor? ...or just a poll-following, political weasel-bastard?
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Read the Previous
Issue
It had everything - sophisticated satire, enemas, Commandments
and babes.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
