Political Humor
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Special Nonaugural Report
Clinton Takes Robert Ray's Deal
Have you thought about why?
I have and it's scary as hell.
Remember just a few months ago he said he'd
be happy to fight this battle?
What changed in the last six months that
would make him change his mind?
I'll tell you - the Whore Supreme Court
revealed the extent of their naked partisanship
in the election fiasco. We knew during
the Monica charade that the Whore Court was making
every illogical ruling possible to enable
the House Managers to get Clinton's cock.
But it wasn't until Sandy O'Connor blurted
out, "Oh No, this is terrible,"
at the news
that the voters of Florida had chosen Gore
that we got a glimpse at their raw Clinton hate.
Then Scalia (R-Ambitious) decided counting
the votes would cause Smirk "irreparable harm."
In my opinion, the Whore Court has served
notice that liberals will not be given a fair hearing.
The Whore Court has told everyone that
they are going to rule in whatever way would help
the Republicans and they don't care how
their partisan rulings affect the laws of America.
That's why Clinton was forced to take this
deal.
That's pretty goddamn sad, don't you think?
Anyone to the left of Tony Scalia had better
watch
their ass.
...are we still in America?
Bush may not be that bad
Here we are, 28 hours into his administration
and we still have all 50 states.
Can his streak continue?
From: (withheld)
I'm a little disappointed with Salon.
I spent quite a bit of time clicking and reloading
on several of their pages
and while I did get all 3 BartCop ads to come
up, they only came up
after reloading several hundred times (I tried
randomly through the day).
That's bullshit.
I went to a movie today.
It struck me just before the film started, that
the theater is NOT in the movie business.
They exist to sell popcorn and candy and Cokes.
Do they get to keep any of the customer's
movie money?
If they get to keep any, I'll bet it's a tiny
fraction of the movie price.
But they damn sure keep all of the popcorn
money.
Similarly, Salon is NOT in the politics business.
They are in the hits-generating business.
What better way is there to generate hits than
to sell ads "in rotation?"
Without getting into specific numbers, let's
say there were "a bunch" of bartcop.com
readers who wanted to see the ads. They
probably went to Salon.com and did what
you and I did, which is to hit that "Reload"
button hundreds of times hoping to see the ad.
I guarantee I hit "reload" 100 times before I
saw my first ad.
But I have to remember - they're NOT in the politics
business.
They are in the hits-generating business and
- using bartcop.com readers as mules,
they were about to greatly inflate their hits
so they can take them to the next advertiser
and say, "We get a gazzilion hits a day, just
check out these counter numbers."
The proof is in the "rotation" policy.
They promised me 166,000 "views."
If they had put the ads up at 6 AM in the morning
and kept them there
until 166,000 people had a chance to see them
- then taken the ads down,
I would've had the same amount of views, but
you and I and the others
would have no incentive to hit "reload" hundreds
of times.
The next guy to contact Salon about advertising
will see those inflated-but-true
hit totals and say, "Damn, that's a lot of eyeballs
seeing my ad."
Do I think I got screwed?
No, I'm a big boy, and I was in their
sandbox, playing by their rules.
But I've been reminded to ask myself, "What business
are these people in?"
when I agree to do business with some - with
any
company.
I wish I had been smarter.
Reasons For Hope During the Bush
Years
by Molly
Ivins
The movie we saw was 13 Days
Great movie - and how often do you hear that from me?
I'd like to talk about it, and I'm not really giving anything away
since the world
did NOT go to nuclear winter in October of 1962.
If I was a better writer, I'd know what the opposite of "insults
your intelligence" was.
That what this movie does.
The previews show the jets being shot at and all, but the real movie
was the conversations
between JFK and Bobby and Kevin Costner. This is an "adult" movie.
I felt flattered to be talked to like an adult.
My favorite part was after JFK tells Russia that we'll stop and board
any
ship heading to Cuba,
Russia sent us a cable saying "The high seas have historically been
free and open to all traffic,"
to which JFK replied, "That's horseshit!"
ha ha
JFK used the same language most Americans use.
There was a time in the film when I was scared shitless.
As things were getting hotter and hotter, and events were unfolding
faster and faster,
and the options were getting fewer and fewer and time was slipping
away because
the photographs proved the missles would be online in less than 36
hours,
(hold on, let me take a breath...)
It got down to JFK's decision.
The Joint Chiefs, led by the apparently insane Curtis LeMay....
Legendsofairpower.com
said this about LeMay:
General Curtis Emerson LeMay -
Was always the best bombardier, best navigator,
and the best pilot in his unit.
General LeMay developed the tactics to win wars from the air.
He led the way as the Army Air
Force smashed Germany, then Japan, achieving victory in
World War II. He organized
the Berlin Airlift and built Strategic Air Command into a
nuclear threat that the Soviet
Union could not ignore or defeat. A cigar smoking leader
of warriors, Curtis LeMay is a
true Legend of Airpower.
...were screaming for a military strike. Kevin Costner (the film's
producer) depicted LeMay as a
crazy man, bent on war. But the point I want to make about being scared
shitless is this:
There are times in the movie when the room was half military people
and half not.
The military people were all saying, "You've
GOT to order airstrikes right now,
there's no time left if you want to save America
from a nuclear disaster,"
while the other half is saying, "You CAN'T
order those strikes because if you do,
Russia will retaliate by invading Berlin and
our only defense in Berlin is nukes
and we'll have the exact war we're trying
to avoid."
Then they all stopped talking and every face in the room was staring
at JFK.
Koresh, that's got to be a horrible feeling, having your experts split
down the middle
and the fate of the planet is in the balance.
How do you think that ignorant blow monkey Smirk will handle pressure like that?
Powell and Cheney tell Smirk he's GOT to launch.
Rice and his Daddy say he CAN'T launch, and our President is a brainless
puppet
installed by a partisan Whore Court and the whore press..
...I need a drink - whiskey - and leave the bottle.
From: jrosenstiel@prodigy.net
Subject: Help!
I had always believed Bush took US to Somalia...
I wrote to this guy:
>>"Sorry Phil. Clinton didn't send those fellows,
in 1993 -- they were LEFT THERE by Bush"<<
Now I get this response from Phil, the BUSH FAN!
Carol,
LOL, left there by Bush, huh? The UN Operation
didn't
even start until March 1993
and we didn't have any troops in Mogadishu until
months later.
UNITED NATIONS OPERATION IN SOMALIA II
MISSION BACKGROUNDER:
LOCATION: Somalia
HEADQUARTERS: Mogadishu
DURATION: March 1993 - March 1995
STRENGTH: Approximately 28,000 military and police
personnel; there was also
a provision for some 2,800 international and
locally recruited staff
FATALITIES: 147 (143 military personnel, 3 international
civilian staff and 1 local staff)
EXPENDITURES: $1,643,485,500 net ) p
UNOSOM II responds militarily
To implement resolution 837(1993), UNOSOM II
initiated military action on
**12 June 1993,** conducting a series of air
and ground operations in south
Mogadishu. UNOSOM II removed Radio Mogadishu
from the control of the United
Somali Congress/the Somali National Alliance
(USC/SNA) (General Aidid's
faction), and disabled or destroyed militia weapons
and equipment in a
number of storage sites and clandestine military
facilities. The
Secretary-General said that the objective of
the action was to restore peace
.
======================================
Incidents of 3 October 1993
After the June 1993 events, UNOSOM II pursued
a coercive disarmament
programme in south Mogadishu. Active patrolling,
weapons confiscations, and
operations were directed at the militia and depots
of General Aidid's
faction (USC/SNA). A public information campaign
was instituted to explain
these activities to the population.
In support of the UNOSOM II mandate, ** United
States forces -- the United
States Rangers and the Quick Reaction Force --
were deployed in Mogadishu.**
(They sure as heck HAD NOT BEEN SITTING
THERE SINCE THE BUSH ADMINISTRATIN
LEFT THEM THERE!) These forces were not under
United Nations command and
control. As part of the coercive programme, the
Rangers launched an
operation in south Mogadishu on 3 October 1993,
aimed at capturing a number
of key aides of General Aidid who were suspected
of complicity in the 5 June
attack and subsequent attacks on United Nations
personnel and facilities.
The operation succeeded in apprehending 24 suspects,
including two key aides
to General Aidid. During the operation, two United
States helicopters were
shot down by Somali militiamen. Eighteen United
States soldiers lost their
lives and 75 were wounded. One United States
helicopter pilot was captured
and subsequently released on 14 October 1993.
The bodies of the United
States soldiers were subjected to public acts
of outrage, and the scenes
were broadcast by television stations around
the world."
Carol, where do you find your information? .Phil
> At 01:22 PM 1/20/01 -0800, BartCop wrote:
> Carol, mail this to your friend
> http://cato.org/pubs/fpbriefs/fpb-020.html
> Tell him I said to blow me
> bc
Subject: Now I 'love you'..
Gawd it is a GREAT NIGHT!
Let me tell you about my evening:
At 6:00 pm my kid (Jarret - age 19- who I have
been 'raising' for 5 years) went into the
Guinness Book of World Records as the
first person to EVER do a back flip on a SCOOTER.
Soon to be on FOX (with me being interviewed of course).
(Give us the details, we'll do a VCR Alert)
At 10:30 my spouses rider WON another SUPERCROSS...
At 10:40 Bartcop gave me the info necessary to shove some remarks back at an irregular jerk.
So, I am happy! I think I will go to Disneyland!!!!
cj
Carol,
Congrats to Jarret and your Supercross victory.
By the way...
Is it legal for me to write the words "Whore Court?"
Or has Top Dick Tony taken that away from us, too?
A Taste of Things to Come?
The Bush Web Police
The 2nd of January was already a pretty rotten
day for Wheaton, Maryland, resident Mike
Hershdorfer, laboring at his computer under the
pall of one of the harshest Eastern winters
on record. But it got a lot rottener at 2:20
p.m., when the Webmaster for the anti-Bush
political site www.bushoccupation.com answered
a knock at the door to find two Secret
Service agents and a Montgomery County police
officer.
The agents gave a vague explanation of investigating
a tip about Web-site activity,
Hershdorfer said. As he stood in the doorway
with the dogs barking, the agents repeatedly
pressed to enter his home. "I got the distinct
impression that they were not going to leave
unless I let them inside, so I did," Hershdorfer
recalled in an interview this week.
Sidebar:
Maybe this guy's an immigrant,
but that last sentence is horseshit.
You tell the sons of bitches to
take a f-ing hike is what you do.
If they have a warrant or guns,
you may have to consent,
but you never let a cop talk you
into anything.
The agents declined to say who made the tip, or
what was said. They asked Hershdorfer for a list
of Web sites he had visited, and for permission
to search his house and review his medical records.
ha ha
Try that shit at BartCop Manor and see what happens.
If it's a good-looking lady cop, and she smelled
real
nice, I might let her frisk me, but they can blow me
if they think I'm going to cooperate with
some horseshit
search because they got an anonymous tip..
They also asked him how he felt about the Clintons
and Bush —and whether he had ever threatened
to blow up the White House. Meanwhile, the police
officer stood in the corner, saying he was there
"to protect me," an incredulous Hershdorfer remembered.
In the course of the hourlong interrogation, Hershdorfer's
roommate Patty happened to telephone.
After he had explained the situation, she rang
up her lawyer stepfather, who instructed her
to tell Hershdorfer to keep quiet and to refuse
a search.
Hershdorfer told the agents he suspected the tip
had come from someone with the right-wing Free Republic
Web site, which he had begun monitoring following
media accounts of Freeper harassment of Democratic
veep candidate Joe Lieberman and others. "I told
the agents I felt intimidated and that my rights were
under threat," Hershdorfer said. They packed
up their notes and left.
Hershdorfer told OffBeat he closely monitors bushoccupation.com
and a related e-group;
neither has posted a threat, he claims. "I'm
trying to organize in the middle left, not with people who want
to blow things up," he said. The strongest language
on bushoccupation.com is: "We are dedicated to opposing
the extraconstitutional and illegitimate occupation
of the U.S. government by George W. Bush and the people
using him as a front man for the extreme right-wing
anti-democratic operatives." Hershdorfer also has put up
"Wanted" posters with photographs of the five
U.S. Supreme Court justices who halted the Florida ballot
recount, handing Bush the presidential election.
Secret Service spokesman Jim Mackin refused to
comment on Hershdorfer's case, but said it's standard
procedure to investigate any report of a threat
against the president or president-elect. "It only takes a minute
to pull a post off a Web site, as you know,"
said Mackin. "We don't care about anyone's politics."
Hershdorfer remains shaken by the experience,
and thinks that he will probably never know who his
accusers were —just that they made a miserable
day more miserable. Mission accomplished, one imagines.
Protesting the Pretender to the Throne
Jenna Bush Loses top at Inaugural Ball
It wasn't as spectacular as it could've
been, her back was to the camera on the clip
The Today Show ran this morning.
Jenna was wearing a naughty, back-bearing number
when her neck strap broke. She was dancing
with Daddy so he covered her up real quick,
but I'll bet there were lots of cameras
at the ball, so maybe pictures will surface.
...not that I have any purient interest
in anything like that, but they cheated, bribed and
fucking stole their way into the fishbowl, so
they can't whine about how awful it is now, right?
......................................BartCop
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It had everything - Jethro, honesty, Chinaco
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Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.