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No Idiots in the White House
I think it's always a really bad idea to have a complete moron in the White House.
Does anyone remember that KAL flight the Russians blew out of
the sky?
I forget the year, (1983?) but our last total nimrod president,
Reagan, was in charge.
If you don't remember, it went something like this:
A Koreak 747 was going somewhere, maybe even the US, because
they flew north to save time.
Flying north, they flew near some islands the Ruskies stole from
Japan after WWII.
Without warning Russia sent their jets to blow up the giant, lumbering
passenger plane.
There was the expected worldwide condemnation, but the Russians
said they had
a secret military installation nearby and had to protect it.
They said the KAL flight
was getting too close to the military base, so they had to destroy
it.
To expose that lie, Reagan held a live press conference.
One of the things he said was this sentence:
"That KAL plane was in international
waters when it was attacked.
Our radar showed that, and their
radar showed that."
"their radar?"
How could Reagan possibly know what the Russian radar was showing?
Truth is, we'd broken thru the Russian encoding system, and our
military boys
could read what the Russians were seeing on their own goddamn
radar screens.
Until that moron Reagan let it slip at a live press conference,
Russia had no idea
that our technology was allowing us to see what they were seeing.
That enabled us to fly decoy planes around the world to see if
the Russian
radar screens could tell if it was a decoy or the real thing.
Remember watching Fail-Safe?
Now, I don't know enough about it to say how badly we got hurt
there,
but that's not the point. The point is it's always a bad idea
to have
a brainless simpleton as the president of the United States.
There's no telling what the idiot Smirk will stupidly blurt out,
or drunkenly tell his friends at a cocktail party somewhere.
Smirk's stupidity is a security risk.
Oh, God, what did we do to anger you so?
His Scariness saw the Copenhagen piece and wrote:
It's not Copenhagen he wants to go to - it's Amsterdam.
Now that's a trip I could get off on.
(cough cough)
Open Letter to President Bush
From: (withheld)
Subject: re: Thousands of years of homosexual contempt
Hey, I saw some responses to my e-mail.
I just cannot buy the historical context of the
gay rape thing.
>Rick, I think you're right.
>I remember reading some horror stories about the Japanese in WWII
>If you've ever watched an episode of HBO's OZ,
>you know how accurate your second paragraph is.
OK -- here it is Bart and Mr. Logic: It has nothing
to do with saying the
Dems are RAPE victims of the Repugs, it is the
adding of blush, lip gloss,
leering expressions, and most recently a rainbow
stained glass window.
This is not an episode of OZ you are depicting
-- you are quite simply calling the Democrats FAGGOTS.
No "historical context" lessons needed Mr. Logic,
but thanks anyway.
As I said before, BartCop, I agree with almost
99.9999% of the stuff you say here
-- the fag-baiting is unnecessary and
PISSES OFF some decent, loyal Democrats
who are tired of grinning bravely when they are
used as an example of masculine failure
and the absolute worst a "real" man can become.
Regards,
Gay Tom Ardans
A Guy Who Despairs Of Making Even Democrats Get
The Point
Gay Tom,
I usually hammer someone who tells me what I really meant.
You can have your opinion, but don't try to have mine, OK?
You seem to be saying:
1. I didn't read an article about Japanese guards raping our GI's to
humiliate them.
2. Men turn gay the day they reach prison.
IF that's what you're saying, you're wrong.
And I'm not sure you're picking your fights wisely.
The new top cop in America thinks you don't belong here
and you're spending your energy to attack Treehouseboy?
Maybe we should fight them instead of each other.
The Democrats Met Their Waterloo
Celebrity Mail
Dear Bob Barr:
Dick Cheney asked me to write to help you understand why you must withdraw
your request for an investigation into the White House Vandalism.
You see, Bob, there wasn't any vandalism.
It's a story that Mr. Cheney and Karl Rove invented.
They had to do it, because a presidential transition is a time when
many Americans become a bit nostalgic for the outgoing administration.
At times like these, it is important that we give the public a reason
to be
disgusted with Democrats. Remember how right after the Senate found
Clinton
"Not Guilty" during the impeachment trial we got Juanita Broderick
on TV?
That was important, because a lot of Americans were looking at impeachment
with an open mind, and we had to prejudice their thinking.
The W's thing with the typewriters really did happen, and the Clinton
people
probably could have done a better job at picking up their trash, but,
hey,
we Republicans left the place pretty messy back in '93.
But the rest of it, Bob, was just a bunch of shit we made up.
The press is
already starting to question whether the vandalism could have even
happened,
so I think we should drop this matter right now.
The people behind the accusations will not sign sworn statements for
investigators if they can avoid it. We'll end up looking bad.
Besides, we still have PardonGate, ChinaGate (the dishes, not the country)
and Office Gate.
Clinton is spending almost two-and-a-half times on his office as the
next most expensive
presidential office. I'm sure you'll agree with me that it was
right and good when Reagan did that,
but it's very bad when Clinton does it because...because... Well, just
BECAUSE!
And let's not forget that a year from now we'll be able to pretend that
the
Clintons were guilty of vandalism; people have short memories, right
Bob? :)
We need you to stop this investigation, Bob. Mr. Cheney's already
been locked up in jail twice
and he doesn't want to go back. You can just say that it's time
to move on, and we need to focus
on the future and not the unsavory past, etc. You know the lines to
say.
Your party is depending on you.
With God on Our Side,
Newt Gingrich
p.s. I see your point about the old state flags; throwing them
away would be a big waste.
What do you plan on doing with all of them?
Y'know, I'm not sure...
But I think I saw Smirk eating some Beef Jerky.
(This is a fix for yesterday's screw-up)
Koresh, it's soooo embarrassing
Even the Russians are
making fun of the "White Flag" Americans
Excerpt:
We seemed to be saying that the presidency of George W. Bush
is somehow illegitimate,
based on a brutal display of partisan interference by a Supreme
Court faction that had clear
and undeniable financial stakes involved in the outcome, and
on a concerted campaign of
racial disenfranchisement in Florida the likes of which have
not been seen since the
decades following the Civil War.
Today's Newsman.com Headline News
Bush's Next Battle: Energy Plan Promotes Alaska Drilling
I guess we can expect the Democrats to roll over for this one, too?
From: ronaldhenry@theriver.com
Subject: Letter to DNC
Below is a copy of a letter sent to the DNC instead
of a contribution they requested and I plegded to give.
Note where I added a little something from your
site........with credit.
February 2, 2001
Democratic National Committee
430 South Capitol Street SE,
Washington, D.C. 20003
Dear Sirs;
While I am aware that during a recent phone call made to me on your organizations behalf, I pledged a donation of $20.00, I have decided to renege on that pledge. Mind you, I usually take very seriously any pledge I might make, however in this instance I feel no remorse in violating said pledge, after watching and reading of the Democratic Senators shameless rolling over and kowtowing to the un-elected president Bush, giving in to his cabinet selections for Attorney General and Sec. of the Interior with only a token showing of opposition, thinking that might appease those of us who are "real" Democrats.
Sen. Feingold (D traitor, Wis.) made a statement at the Senate Judiciary hearings that "we should treat Bush like we would want to be treated." Well that would be well and good, but if you are going to apply the "Golden Rule" , shouldn’t it be obvious how the Repugs wanted to be treated by the example they set during the last eight years??
"Our guy gets elected and is hunted for eight
long years.
Their guy steals the goddamn election and the
Democrats are kissing his ass." -----www.bartcop.com
I am so disappointed with the Democrat’s in the Senate, not one would stand up for the millions of voters who got the shaft from the U.S. Supreme Court during the "election", When the
Black Caucus (only true Democrats left) protested the results of the Florida "count" and resulting twenty five "electors" being accepted by the Senate. Therefore, I am henceforth claiming no party affiliation and am re-registering as an independent. I will no longer be a "yellow dog" Democrat, if you want my vote, you’ll have to earn it, mindful that I will be watching very carefully what is going on in Washington and my home state of Arizona.
Sincerely,
Ronald J. Henry
Last night, on the Clark
Howard radio show, he said the
price of gasoline will "skyrocket to unheard of highs this
summer."
Is anyone surprised?
No matter how badly BIG OIL rapes the consumer, Smirk and Ashcroft
will stand by and fiddle
while proclaiming "the market is working" while American families
go broke and lose jobs.
Howard (did we ever decide if he was Dem or Monster?) also said
Detroit will sell
2,000,000 fewer cars this year than last year.
From the USA TODAY:
Sales figures for this January compared to last January.
General Motors down 5 percent
Ford down 11 percent
Chrysler down 16 percent
Toyota down 11 percent
Mercedes down 7 percent
But there was some good news, too.
Kia is up 53 percent.
That means they went from selling 46 cars last January year to
70 cars this year.
Other notes:
Ford is reeling from poor sales of their best-selling, gas-guzzling
Explorer
and Excursion
because the price of gas is about to skyrocket to all-time
highs under that idiot Smirk.
From: Logic@mail.skantech.com
Subject: Thousands of Years of Sodomy
Hey Bart,
I understand gay Tom's point of view, but he is
missing the historical context of saying
that some guy's taking it up the ass. I
know for sure that a couple of thousand of years ago
it was common for the victorious army to rape
the men of the other side, and it may be that
it happened even more recently than that.
The reason has as much to do with gay sex as straight
sex generally has to do with male-female rape.
It was a way of showing beyond a shadow of a
doubt that these were conquered men.
It humiliated them and destroyed their spirit.
Just because the Dem Senators are taking it up
the ass doesn't mean that they or the Repugs are gay.
Actually, I have a few gay friends that would
probably be offended to know that they were being
lumped in with politicians in general.
Rick
Rick, I think you're right.
I remember reading some horror stories about the Japanese in WWII
If you've ever watched an episode of HBO's OZ,
you know how accurate your second paragraph is.
What do these men stand for?
Screw women, screw gays, screw minorities, screw civility, screw the
environment.
Let's all work for their defeat in 2002.
I won't forget.
I didn't forget Feingold voting with the cockhunters in 1998,
I didn't forget Byrd screaming, "Don't tamper with this jury, Mr
President,"
and I won't forget this bunch of back-stabbers, either.
Great True Quotes
This (the
Ashcroft vote) is no victory for the Democrats
because they don't have the
guts to filibuster.
-- B'Orrin hatch (R-Raised in a chicken coop)
That's the first true thing I've ever heard B'Orrin say.
To: info@dscc.org
Cc: bartcop@bartcop.com, demolist@demookie.com,
Subject: Stop Payments
Just a note to tell you I am ending my monthly
support of the DSCC (Democratic
Senatorial Campaign Committee)
effective immediately (my Feb. 5 donation).
Words cannot describe how disappointed I am in
the Senate "Democrats" who voted for the Ashcroft nomination,
those who refused to support/encourage a filibuster
against him, and those who refused to fight him when they
had the chance. They didn't even have to
lie, but merely to say that Resident Bush would see the same type
of 'bipartisanship' that Bill Clinton did.
I'll be the first to admit I'm not the largest
financial supporter you've ever had, but I gave proudly for years, thinking
my contribution was making a difference nationwide (a powerful feeling
indeed, given MY Senators Inhofe and Nickles).
Now, I see it doesn't make any difference at
all. If we can't--no make that CHOOSE NOT TO--stop Ashcroft,
will we stop Robert Bork? Pat Buchanan?
David Duke?
Don't worry, I'm not going to the 'other side'
(or maybe I am).
My contributions will be going to Emily's
List, individual candidates, and www.bartcop.com.
'Bye,
Eddy Collins
Norman, OK
P.S. I'd STRONGLY suggest you remove my name from
your direct mail list.
Not spending any more money soliciting me will
be the closest thing
you'll get to making money from me.
Go Eddy!
That, or the Senate Democrats partying with Smirk in Gore's White House.
Prime Minister Smirk?
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien made a verbal
gaffe by referring to
Smirk as "prime minister.'' Chretien referred to the importance
of a visit he is due to make to
Washington on Monday to be the first foreign leader to meet the new
U.S. president.
"I would like to say thank you to him because he was gracious in calling
Canada first after he
became prime minister,'' Chretien said. After a prod, Chretien quickly
added: "President Bush.''
During the U.S. election campaign, Smirk himself was tricked by a Canadian
comedian,
who posed as a reporter, into accepting greetings from Canadian Prime
Minister Jean Poutine.
Poutine is the name of a popular Quebec dish of French fries, curds
and gravy, but Smirk is too
goddamn stupid to know our neighbor's leaders, and the whore press
never called him on it.
Matter of fact, the whore press priased Smirk's "incredible command"
of foreign policy.
Great Political Quotes
Bush and company give the unfortunate
impression of glee
at the thought of an economic downturn,
as if it were a lucky break.
It's like a child hoping to be sick
so he can take that yummy medicine.
-- Mike Kinsley, in Slate
Yeah, they NEED that tax-cut for the super-rich so bad they can
taste it.
They don't care what their higher energy prices do to the economy,
as long as
they can bankrupt America and drive us into a big, big depression,
they figure
they can sell the press on the idea of those huge tax-cuts.
Did you see the front page of the MONEY section of USA TODAY?
Headline:
Economic News gets "really
ugly"
There was more bleak news for the economy Thursday as a closely
watched gauge
of factory activity fell to its lowest level since the Bush recession
of 90-91 - low enough
to signal that the entire economy might finally have slipped
into recession for the first time
in a decade, in a report economists characterized as "grim" and
"really ugly."
America is in real trouble, folks,
...and we've got the stupidest man ever appointed president in
charge.
Hi, I'm Tina, BartCop's Pay Pal girl.
If you think BartCop's doing a good job,
and would like to see bartcop.com get bigger
and stronger,
click here 
The Pay Pal people will give you $5 just for signing up, and
if you say
bartcop@bartcop.com referred you, they'll send him
$5, too.
The Pay Pal people have too much money, and they're probably
Republicans,
so why not help transfer their wealth to bartcop.com?
.
BartCop says if enough people send in a small donation,
he'll let me put on a PG-rated fashion and lingerie show for
you.
(That is, if the women aren't too upset over it.)
Trust me, I can flat-out wear some clothes.
So help BartCop "grow the hammer higher," as Mr Bush says.
If you don't have a credit card, you can donate via snail mail
at PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155
This is war, and we all have to do our part.
Your country may depend on it.
Yesterday I mentioned that the idiot Governor of Indiana, (Quayle relative,
no doubt)
banned The KInsmen's Louie Louie in 1964 because it was "too
pornographic."
Well, hey, this is the Internet, where you can say anything, right?
From: William_Aston-Reese@ScotiaCapital.com
Subject: Louie Louie
As per your request:
Louie, Louie, me gotta go. Louie, Louie, me
gotta go.
A fine little girl, she wait for me. Me catch
the ship across the sea.
I sailed the ship all alone. I never think
I'll make it home.
Louie, Louie, me gotta go. Louie, Louie, me
gotta go.
Three nights and days we sailed the sea. Me
think of girl aw constantly.
On the ship, I dream she there. I smell the
rose in her hair.
Louie, Louie, me gotta go. Louie, Louie, me
gotta go.
Me see Jamaican moon above. It won't be long
me see me love.
Me take her in my arms and then. I tell her
I never leave again.
Louie, Louie, me gotta go. Louie, Louie, me
gotta go.
Oh, those lyrics are so dirty!
If only we'd had Attorney General Ashcroft back in 1964.
He would've shut those bad, bad Kingsmen down.
From: (withheld)
Subject: Wise-ass Question
Limbaugh and the economic geniuses on the right have been telling us
for five years that Clinton had nothing to do with our vibrant
economy.
They attributed our prosperity to:
*Republican governors
*Alan Greenspan
*Hard working American People
*Ronald Reagan
*Bill Gates
I read the papers and watch the news,
but I missed the stories that told how these things disappeared.
* Why didn't the news media tell us that most of the Republican
governors have left office?
They couldn't still be running their states, because if they were,
things would still be good.
* When did Alan Greenspan quit?
He must have quit; otherwise things would be going as well as when
Clinton was in charge.
* Why did the American people stop working hard?
Are they on a "bender" in honor of Smirk? It's nice to emulate
our honorable
and dignified president, but let's put down the bottle and go back
to work.
* Ronald Reagan laid the groundwork for decades of prosperity.
Even in mid-October of last year some really smart conservatives said
that all the
good times we were experiencing were a direct result of Reagan's 1981
policies.
Did he undo his great policies? How could he do that if he's
too
confused to even testify about the felonies he committed?
* Bill Gates was given credit by conservatives who aren't afraid
to say really stupid things.
What happened to Gates?
I know he handed the CEO position to Ballmer, but he didn't exactly
quit, did he?
And he said that letting Ballmer run things while he oversees new technologies
will be BETTER for Microsoft shareholders. Is Bill Gates a liar?
All sarcasm aside, we all know that the items listed above are supposed
to
be the REAL reason for Clinton's unprecedented prosperity. Why
did the
prosperity stop when Clinton went away if the other five factors are
all still in place?
Can anyone please explain?
The president, the cross and
the cookie jar
by Molly Ivins
From: Amy Mouse
Subject: Gay Humor
BartCop wrote:
> So, can you point me to acceptable gay humor?
Kate Clinton. (No relation.)
She's pretty damned funny, and I think she has
a book...
She jokes about how you should never come out
to your father in a moving vehicle,
and calls the gay wedding trend "Mad Vow Disease."
My favorite bit of hers is how she used to "de-dyke
the apartment" before her parents came to visit.
She said, "We call it, 'straightening up'"
Amy
Hey, thanks for that.
I'll check napster (while it's still free) for her.
John Ashcroft's Doorbell
Police in Kentucky are looking for a customer who succeeded in paying
for
a $2 order at a fast-food restaurant with a phony $200 bill featuring
a picture of
the idiot Smirk and type that says (ingreen) ILove2Smirk
4u
A phony bill with a picture of phony president passed to a Dairy Queen bonehead.
From: joeb@buckeyeinet.com
Subject: Gonna send it to you
Morning Bart,
The money I was going to give to the DNC is going
to you
Bart don`t be embarassed about donations.
Hell Bart, you're the only Fighter we got (that`s
white) so look for a card from me.
If I had the money I`d give you a Scaife
amount of cash and that ain`t bullshit.
Have a good weekend!!!!!!!!
Be reading you.
Toledo Friend
joeb
Thanks, Joe.
Joe is my Luca Brazzi, my most loyal reader.
This
toon now available on a coffee cup. Click toon for details.
The Democratic Traitor's Hall of Shame
Christopher Dodd - traitor
Zell Miller - traitor
John Breaux - traitor
Kent Conrad - traitor
Byron Dorgan - traitor
Ben Nelson - traitor
Russ Feingold - traitor
Robert Byrd - traitor and KKK man
To me, Dodd is the most disappointing.
Miller and Breaux are from southern, racist states,
so they have the excuse
that they were doing what their racist constituents wanted them
to do.
Conrad, Dorgan and Nelson are total nobodys who could've
been
bought off with a promise for a bridge in their tiny, midwestern
states.
Feingold has been a Republican for at least three years,
but Dodd is a liberal from the northeast - he voted against
his constituents.
"Fuck 'em," once unnamed source quoted Dodd as saying.
"I want to be buddies with that idiot Smirk."
They are traitors to their party, voting to confirm this worse-than-Reagan monster.
Stabbing women in the back.
Stabbing minorities in the back.
Stabbing gay Americans in the back.
Stabbing the environment in the back.
Stabbing their party in the back.
Oh, God, what have we done to deserve this fate?
Debate Last Night
Last night's debate was a rip-roaring success
story,
...if irritating and frustrating over 100
people was the ultimate goal.
Where to start?
I know - the next time a debate is mentioned,
e-mail me and ask if the victim,
...sorry, I mean the opponent has been
carefully screened. I must take complete
responsibility for the Gorelost debacle,
because I was itching to shear a sheep
and he was the one baying the loudest the
night before.
Plus, it was my mistaken impression that
he had issues with me.
When we got into the ring, he didn't have
any issues.
I was looking forward to being the reluctant
witness but it turned out
I was to be the prosecutor and I had not
prepared anything.
Once we got started, I got the impression
he wanted to insult me, insult my page
and insult the chat room more than he wanted
to debate political issues.
Oh, another mistake I made - I said "Debate
at 9 PM" thinking everyone
understood I meant local time, but not
everyone knows what local time is,
so a bunch of people showed up at 9 EST.
Sorry about that.
Also, Gorelost was very very impressed
with the technology of private messaging.
He made it a point to squeal like a little
pink piggie each time he got a private message,
and the worst part was he has an attention
span shorter than mine, even.
It was so bad, it made the Bird debate
look entertaining...
There were some techincal glitches with
the chat room, which I guess can
only be worked on when there's that many
people there, so someone said
we should try EFnet or dalnet
or somewhere for the next debate.
The main reason I like our forum is that
Gens can lock out the non-participants
but there was a glitch in that last night
too, so it was a bit of a free-for-all.
Someone said people can be locked out on
EFNet
by using the "m,"
but I don't know what that means.
It was also suggested that a moderator be used,
which is fine with me, if it will help
with the focus, but, like almost-President Gore,
I'll need to be able to ask the victim
my own questions to make it a landslide.
Before we try it again, I will do some better
prep.
If we can work the bugs out, it really
should be fun.
Damn, just got a call from Scary Perry,
remember
him?
He invited me to to to Copenhagen for a
weekend.
What's in Copenhagen?
(cough)
Sounds like it'd make a fun story, doesn't
it?
Love is in the Air
by Bill Press
I think this one article makes Bill Press one of the top Democrats in the country.
Last Night's VCR Alert
Friends sucked, and they knew it
was a really, really important show for them.
Are they giving up? Do they not have the
steam to take on Survivor?
Joey's chair broke and Monica's Dad likes
Ross better?
Who on this planet could like Ross more
than Monica?
Survivor was more entertaining than
I expected it to be.
(By the way, I said Kimmie was the good-looking
one? I didn't find hardly any
good-looking girls last night. Maybe the
Outback is a little tougher on the women.)
With Survivor, you have to remember
the fix is in.
The object is not a fair contest, the object
is entertainment.
The bug-eating contest (which was more
gross than the first one last year)
was more fixed than last year's Florida
election results.
My good Catholic math tells me the odds
are1 in 200,000 that all seven pairs
of contestants would hit a different bug
to eat. It's just not possible.
Las Vegas wouldn't exist if the long shot
came thru this easily.
The C.S.I. was better than usual,
and their usual is pretty good.
They got into the casinos this episode,
which is why they're in Vegas, right?
I'm not saying every episode has to be
gambling related, but if we have to have
a victim, might as well make her a nude
dancer or a pit boss instead of a secretary
and a plumber's assistant.
Haven't seen the Regis tape yet.
Was it another night of all $1,000 losers?
And while I was in the chat room, I saw
out of the corner of my eye that Carrie,
the doctor who uses a cane, has gone lesbian
on us! That's a sure sign the show's
in trouble when they turn to Howard Stern
tactics during sweep weeks.
..............................BartCop
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Read the Previous
Issue
It had everything - it wasn't very good,
but it was bigger than hell.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
