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This is so gruesome.
Brace yourslves, this isn't pretty.
The Chief of Forensic Sciences in Billings, Montana, Dr. Bob Maxwell,
today gave details
of the Ronald McDonald autopsy that both stunned and shocked
veteran police beat reporters.
Though he was found hanged from a tree in City Park, McDonald
bled
to death.
It turns out (are the kids safely out of the room?) he was sexually
mutilated.
Dr. Maxwell says McDonald's penis ...is missing.
But the biggest shock?
It was not removed with a knife or a sharp instrument.
Dr. Maxwell refused to give further details, but confidential
police sources have told
bartcop.com that the Billings District Attorney's
office has obtained a court order to
search the summer home and automobile of one "Ann Coulter," who
police say was a
known associate of Mr. McDonald and knew the victim "intimately."
Police also got a court order to search the files of Ms Coulter's
dentist.
...developing
Seen on the Net
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he may be killed by Smirk's contributors
driving a sub.
Celebrity Mail
From: bardgal@yahoo.com
Subject: Sopranos vs West Wing
Sopranos vs West Wing - I have been voting on
the SAG Awards since they began seven years ago.
The past two years West Wing and the Sopranos
have been up against each other. Last year I voted
across the board for Sopranos - this year I voted
for West Wing, also across the board. It's a tough call.
They are both excellent in every sense of the
word. I think The West Wing (at least for me this year)
touched me deeper, in a more substantial way
I guess. It's hard to explain - sort of like Les Miserables
vs Beauty & The Beast both great shows, but
Les Miz is about human rights so it wins for me - but especially
after what has happened in this country recently
- it's the leadership I wish we had.
I want so much to see the SET of the West Wing
- the way they shoot so many cross scenes on one take,
through doorways and walls as the staff walk
through the building - blows my mind.
I also think they were far more of an 'ensemble'
than Sopranos.
Here in Burbank I saw several bus stop ads with
"MARCH" red on black - gun for "R".
Everyone knew what it was here.
Everyone was talking about it.
Everyone was sooooo excited.
Anyway, just thought I'd throw that in - hey,
isn't it THIS WEEK'S LA WEEKLY?????
That paper is a BIG DEAL in this town.
I'm very excited.
Tally Briggs
Hollywood Correspondent for bartcop.com
Tally, good note.
If I remembered you were a SAG member, I might've tried to bribe you
:)
West Wing is the better show today (that could change) and they
certainly have
a better emsemble than The Sopranos, but there's so few murders
on West Wing.
I have asked for clarification when the LA WEEKLY thing will run.
Should know something soon.
I didn't know they were a big paper - they don't sell them at the K-Drag
7-11s.
Maybe I should've sent the reporter an 8-ball so he'd say nice things
about me.
More Napster
The Christian Coalition
"The Christian Coalition — rocked by financial
debt, lawsuits and the loss of
experienced political leaders — has
become but a pale imitation of its once powerful self,"
the Moonie Washington Times reports.
ha ha
The frauds!
Quotes
"You think about criminals, people in
jail for far less, you think about the problems in the schools
that Mr. Bush is now attempting
to deal with, you think about racial profiling, things that didn't get
done under the Clinton watch.
And you start to scratch your head and say, 'Wait a minute, is this
more of a cult attitude? It's
sort of OK to like Bill Clinton, and you're supposed to, but really, what
did we get for it?' And you start
to wonder..."
--- "liberal" Juan Williams (R-Uncle
Tom) thinking of new and different ways to attack Bill Clinton,
being a good boy just like his Massa wants him to be.
Juan, you back-stabbing whore.
African Americans had their best friend ever in the White
House for eight years.
Now, we have a spoiled, rich fratboy who puts blacks last.
Thumbing his nose at the family of James (dragged to death) Byrd
was a clue, dumbass.
Everyone seems to understand that, but you.
Maybe the answer is that the others aren't being paid
to be lying whores.
Napster
I asked for someone to argue with me about Napster.
My wish was granted
Disasters unroll without
a pattern
Bush says the mishaps are Clinton's legacy but the evidence
is not there
Julian Borger in Washington
The Guardian
Excerpt:
Yesterday's bombing accident in Kuwait is the
latest in what appears to be a
worsening series of US military mishaps which
the new Bush administration
has said are a legacy of declining readiness
and morale left over from the Clinton years.
Over the course of last year's presidential campaign,
George Bush portrayed the armed forces
as being at the end of their tether, underpaid,
overstretched and no longer able to fight two wars
simultaneously - the Pentagon's benchmark of
military strength.
However, a closer examination of recent accidents show no clear pattern.
Quote of the Year?
"Election reform is important, but I
don't know that I'm prepared to say
the federal government should
start dictating to states (how to do elections).''
-- Armey, the foul-mouthed Dick (R-Cut Education)
Hey, Dick!
That's not what you said in december, when the Whore Court told
Florida they had no business
deciding how to do election. Could it be that you're a
lying whore?
Maureen Dowd is in Switzerland getting her thighs sucked.
(They do great lipo-work in Geneva)
She will return soon.
"President Bush's job approval rating is 60
percent, although half the public believes
he is not really in charge of what
is going on in his administration,"
a New York Times/CBS News Poll found.
Wow!
You mean half the country thinks Smirk is in charge?
ha ha
That's amazing.
As Jerry Seinfeld might say, "Who are these people?"
Bush’s Foreign Policy: Isolate
Colin Powell
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
Mr. Powell has never fit in too well with tough-talking cowboys, like
Mr. Cheney,
whose perennially hawkish views never prevented them from wangling
a draft deferment.
It is the difference between real toughness and its unreasonable facsimile
that defines
the debate between the Powell and Cheney factions.
Hey, Smirk!
You want to sue somebody?
I'm right here!
You're Clear to Land
By Thomas L. Friedman
Excerpt:
So when Mr. Bush repeats his mantra that the
budget surplus "is not the government's money, it's your money,"
he's right. But the sentence is incomplete. We
must finish the thought:
"It's not the government's money. It's your money.
But it's also going to be your responsibility
to pay your parents' nursing home bills when they get old
and you find that Social Security and Medicare
are underfunded because of today's excessive tax cut."
"It's also going to be your traffic jam, when
the government can't afford to invest in mass transit
around cities so your 20- minute commute becomes
an hour."
"It's also going to be your dilapidated public school, becauseof a lack of funds for new school building."
"It's also going to be your busy signal, when
you call a federal agency for help in five years
and you're put on hold for a week because it's
understaffed."
"It's also your favorite national park that will be underfunded, provided Mr. Bush hasn't sold it off to an oil company."
GOP, Tobacco Lobby Murders Morton Downey Jr.
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Before Jerry Springer and Jenny
Jones, there was Morton Downey Jr.,
a growling and opinionated TV talk show host
who shocked viewers from behind a haze of cigarette smoke.
America, he once said, saw him as "a loudmouth
who gets in trouble just like they do, who's had problems
just like they had, someone that they can identify
with a lot more than someone who's squeaky clean."
Downey, who reigned over trash TV in the 1980s
and tried to clean up his act for a return,
died of lung cancer and other respiratory problems,
his family said Monday night. He was 67.
Big Tobacco murders 400,000 people every year - but that's OK.
They give a lot of money to the Republicans, so it's OK.
Don't tell me it was his choice to smoke.
Because Clinton/Waxman/Synar etc went after those murdering bastards,
put them under oath
and forced them to reveal what poisons they added to their cigarettes
- we finally found out:
Ammonia, formaldehyde and other poisonous toxins.
If it was Downey's choice, the Tobacco companies wouldn't have to add
ammonia and formaldehyde
to their tobacco leaves to hook the victim stronger, faster,
harder
and more permanantly.
If McDonalds put into their hamburgers a secret ingredient that
FORCED
you, against your will,
to come back day after day after day until you were dead we would arrest
those in charge
and dismantle every McDonald's restaurant in the country.
Greedy whores, taking bribes to let the killers continue killing.
"Republican efforts to enlist John F.
Kennedy in support of President Bush's
oversized tax cut proposal have
moved from the banal to the bizarre."
--A Boston Globe editorial
From: jf2424@msn.com
Subject: Green Party
Hey Bart,
Wonder how those Green Party whores and that fool
Nader feel now that Drunkya
has jacked them on his promise to regulate dioxide
emissions from power plants.
JF
From: galloway@gtcom.net
Yet ANOTHER campaign promise renege.
Yet ANOTHER Bush Lie.
Can you hear the howls of outrage??
NOT!
Where is Green Boy Nadair and his ilk on this
issue?
We are SO screwed. . .
Dave Galloway
When Andy met Scali
Vic the Racist
came up with a joke.
Have you heard about the new bonds issued by the government?
There's the Monica bond that has no maturity.
There's the Gore bond that has no interest.
There's the Clitnon bond that has no principle.
...not bad for a racist ditto-monkey.
Damn good e-mail, full of facts.
From: jnagarya@888.nu
Subject: Pardon Question
The pardon power is absolute. It is not
Constitutionally subject to "oversight," "review," or overturning
by either Congress--Burton, et al., are violating
separation of powers--or Judiciary.
As to the bullshit that Clinton "circumvented
the process": there is no "process" in the Constitution
concerning pardons; such would have to be established
in law in order for it to be a "legal requirement"
--which has not been done because such a requirement
would by Constitutionally dubious.
The "consulting of aides" and DOJ process is a
convenience. With the flood of pardon petitions, it helps
to have a process in place to review and research
the petitions. But the president doesn't have to deal
with any of that if he chooses not to do so.
A famous example illustrates the pardon power:
a widow, with baby in arms, showed up at the White House
and petitioned Abraham Lincoln directly, face
to face, with her plea. As I remember the facts, her husband
was a soldier (Civil War) who received letter
than one of his parents was verging on death, or had died.
He requested leave to go home ad deal with the
issue. He was refused. He went AWOL or deserted
for as long as it took to deal with the resonsibility--perhaps
three days. He then returned to his unit,
which court-martialed and shot him.
Lincoln, with consulting with aides or passing
it by the DOJ, granted the pardon then and there.
The key word concerning pardons: mercy.
As to the Marc Rich pardon: few in the media are
reporting the full facts--else they'd have no "story".
He was given a _conditional_ pardon consisting
of two basics:
1. On the advice of three Republican lawyers,
including Libby, he got $2,000,000 for representing Rich,
and the DOJ, he was pardoned of the RICO charge
based on the view of those lawyers and DOJ that
it was based upon a miscontruction of both facts
and law by the US Prosecutor who filed that charge:
a Republican named Gulliani.
2. "In exchange" for that, Rich was required to waive the statute of limitations concerning the civil charges against him.
In other words: the RICO charge was "forgiven," but the civil charges reinstated.
Few to none in the media report, as well, that
a charge against a person does not automatically mean the person
charged is guilty of the charge. Between
charge and possible conviction are: presumption of innocence, trial,
and verdict. Instead, the media has portrayed
Rich as "sleazy" though in fact, because presumed innocent,
not tried, and not convicted, the "sleaze" exists
solely in the charges.
The same is true, of course, concerning the smears
against Clinton. The "sleaze" is solely in the smears
(and those who sling them); Clinton has the same
presumption of innocence as anyone else.
'Course, if Burton & Barr were to comply with
those principles of law and reality, they'd have to find something else
to do. And if the media were to comply with those principles of law,
it would have to find a different story--such as,
"Burton has made 30 accusations against Clinton
during the last 8 years. All thirty were investigated.
All thirty were found to be groundless, false.
Isn't it time we stopped listening to Burton? Or starting
asking him why he's such a poor perceiver
of reality, or why he's a serial liar?"
Or they'd have to, as a long shot, risk offending
Stumbler by investigating the election theft. But that might result
in them being disinvited to the White House.
Or at least be allowed membership in the White House press pool.
Joseph Nagarya
Boston, MA
Joe, damn good e-mail.
I especially liked the part about punishing wartime deserters.
Napster
Let's try this again. but you have to stay within the fence.
I'm going to present an arguement for Napster, and if you reply,
promise me you'll stay within the fence.
Example: If I say I enjoy Playboy magazine, and if you
were to counter with
"But kiddie porn is harmful,"
that's outside the fence, get it?
I don't write many "jokes," but sometimes I do.
Let's say (part of the fence) that you REALLY like the joke.
You think it's the funniest damn joke you heard in a long time.
Ok, here we go, as posted on bartcop.com
Question: What's the difference between Bill Bennett and David Koresh?
Answer: Bill Bennett is still smoking
(If you like this joke,
please send $1
to PO Box 54466,
Tulsa, OK 74155 each time you tell it.
Now, I have no way to enforce that, do I?
Are you really going to send me a dollar each time you repeat
that joke?
Remember, it's the best joke you've heard in a long time.
You're not going to send me that dollar, are you?
You don't have to!
The techonology doesn't exist to make you, so you're going
to tell the joke for free.
Isn't that just like the Napster situation?
Now that the technology is here, it can't be stopped.
C'mon, argue with me.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
