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More Contender
From: bassm@ecn.purdue.edu
BartCop--
I agree with you about the movie The Contender
--
really good movie with a bad ending.
But I didn't find fault with Joan Allen's not
challenging the authenticity of the photo.
Rather, I didn't like the fact that the movie
made the photo fake. The premise of the movie
seemed to be that there is a double standard
between men and women with regards to sexual
activity, yet the movie didn't allow Joan Allen
the sexual freedom it claimed to champion.
The movie fell short because it insisted on categorizing
the female lead as either a Madonna
or a whore, and that was just a little too sexist
for me.
I'm having trouble drawing the distinction that my debate opponents
draw on this.
There will always be a double standard - and maybe there should
be.
(Words mean things - I said maybe.)
If this planet is going to continue to spin, the male will have to be
the aggressor and the female
will have to play the role of the resistor. I believe there will
never
come a time when it's OK
for women to do what men do because we probably cannot procreate without
that chase.
You know I'm not a Promise Keeper or a Biblical nut, but we can't have
two aggressors.
It's just not going to work. I can't foresee a time when women brag
about bagging 50 guys back in college,
while the men under-report their sexual partners because our society
isn't set up that way.
You can stomp and spit and shout but we are what we is, and I, for
one, am not ready to switch roles.
Maybe that's why I can't buy her reasoning, "Had
this been a man, would it be that bad?"
No, it wouldn't, but how can we re-write thousands of years of male/female
sexuality?
If we get to the point where couples can't have sex unless a woman
does the chasing
the planet will drop in population a billion people per decade.
That story (below) about the priests raping the nuns?
You're never going to see a headline, "Nuns rape priests."
It's not going to happen.
Look, I'm all for the equality of women - surely 430 issues gets my
foot in the door of credibility.
But it's not equality I'm talking about. Men are pigs - that's why
men cheat.
Male lions kill other male lions because that's what males do.
You can't teach the lionesses to kill the other lionesses.
We are what we is, and that's all it is.
You is what you am, and cows don't make ham.
What if you went to Mardi Gras, and the women
begged the men to drop their pants
so they could throw a string of beads around
his Tom Delay?
See how crazy that is? That's not going
to fly, no matter how equal women get.
(I can see the mountain of hate mail heading my way, but - on this subject
- you women
can only be guessing. You have no idea what it's like to be a man,
(read: pig) and vice-versa.
I'm just saying if we throw away our present roles in sexuality, with
what will we replace them?
If you women write with a complaint, address that red paragraph.)
About midway through the movie Joan Allen was
given information about an abortion that the
wife of the Gary Oldman character had had many
years earlier unbeknownst to Gary Oldman,
(Quick sidebar: was that
the case? Oldman's wife told him, "I gave up my life to make you happy,"
which led me to believe he
knew.)
which would have been a Big Hammer if ever there
was one. Joan Allen was told to use this
information during her confirmation hearings
if the issue of abortion came up.
Sure enough, the TV cameras are cranking away
at the confirmation hearings, and Gary Oldman
goes off on a tirade about killing innocent babies.
This is her chance to squash him like a bug and
be confirmed as Vice President. And she refused
to use the Big Hammer.
No, no, no, that was a hueueueuege mistake on her part.
In chess, it's not what you do, it's what you CAN do.
She should've said, "Excuse me, Mr Chairman,
are you saying, for example, if someone was always
preaching about abortion as "killing babies,"
then paid for an abortion, that person would then be
a hypocrite and unworthy of holding public
office?"
There.
She made her threat without naming him, and the next move is his.
If his next sentence was "Yes, that person
would be unfit for office," THEN she nails the bastard.
But if he understands what she's doing, he'd likely say, "Perhaps
I've chosen my words poorly,"
then he would've backed down and probably voted for her, knowing she
had him by the balls.
Right there she proved that she was a better person
than I am, even if she had participated in
a three-way back in college. Maybe
I just have trouble believing that anybody is that righteous.
Mark.
Actually, she was accused of "having the whole show, and that's a natural
fact," to quote Mark Farner.
But I sure agree with that last sentence. To be put thru that kind
of hell and not fight back is, well, ...Clintonian.
Can you believe Clinton has been sitting on the Iran-Contra proof all
this time and hasn't used it?
Maybe he was only going to use it if the Demos came to him just before
the impeachment vote
and said, "You're going to lose." Maybe then, he would've played
the Reagan's Ruined Legacy card.
I'd sure like to ask him that when I meet him.
Well, I'd better sign off now so I can start reading the hate mail about
what a pig I am,
which is part of my whole point. A woman wouldn't have written
this piece.
Today's Bushism
"But the true threats to stability and
peace are these nations that are not very transparent,
that hide behind the ... that don't
let people in to take a look and see what they're up to.
They're very kind of authoritarian
regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these
people decide, peak of anger, try to
hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example,
to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses;
the South Koreans."
-- The Idiot Smirk, Media roundtable,
Washington, D.C., March 13, 2001
Thanks to Wandrew@greyhound.com
From: curmujeon@yahoo.com
Subject: Juan Williams
Hey Bartcop,
Just now on NPR Juan Williams said that those
visitors on the sub were NOT big Republican donors.
They were just donors to the USS Missouri memorial
fund....
This guy is supposed to be on a "liberal" radio
alternative to the pigboy lies?
I'll e-mail him about him, but why is it that
we have to ALWAYS be watching
our "friends" who keep repeating GOP lies?
Curm,
It's my understanding they were contributors to The Missouri
Fund, but that fund
has the same legal status as the Clinton Library, and look at the shit
Clinton caught.
There is a reason why the White House and the GOP are being protected,
and it's NOT because these good ol' Texas oil men wanted to help The
Missouri.
We can't get the facts because the whore press is too busy chasing
Clinton's cock.
Koresh, it was only six months ago when the media was a White House
watch dog.
Now, they don't report on White House crimes, just Clinton allegations.
We have nine dead and nobody cares!
Priests Rape Nuns?
Force then to have abortions?
Right here in the United States?
I wouldn't print such a salacious headline if Yahoo wasn't standing behind it.
Click Here for the forever version
Click Here to see Yahoo's attribution
Read the report.
It says they've known about this since February 1995 - over six
years ago.
How many hundreds or thousands of rapes has the Vatican ignored
in those six years?
I've told you again and again
The Church exists to collect money.
What's the difference between praying at home and going to church?
The collection plate.
Quotes Then
"Prosperity, itself, is on the ballot
in November."
-- Al Gore, again and again
Quotes Now
"The economy is slowing down."
-- The unelected Smirk
Looks like Gore was right.
Even tho American voted for prosperity, Tony (Three
Fingers) Scalia said, "No!"
From: joeb@buckeyeinet.com
Subject: How far will it go???
Morning Bart,
It pisses me off to hear on the news that smirk
is blaming the energy crisis
on Bill and not one Dem. calls them on it.
Got a letter from the DNC telling me we know your
mad about the election.
Yeah I am, but I`m mad at you wimps for letting
the repugs lead you by the nose!
Bart, all I read is you and grit my teeth to watch
the news.
Be reading you.
joeb
Joe, you're not alone being mad at the fake democrats.
They think their job is kissing the thief's ass - and it's pissing
me off!
The BartCop Tax Cut Picks Up Steam
"Senate GOP leaders are giving renewed
attention to rebates as a quick way
to get tax cuts into consumers'
hands. Democrats are pushing for the refunds,
which would likely be the same
for all families,"
-- the Whore Street Journal reports.
I don't need to get the credit for this.
Who came up with the idea is not important - just do it.
I've always said anything written on bartcop.com
is yours.
Get the damn 10 percent rebates for a maximum of $1500 per wage-earner
and I don't care if you give the vulgar Pigboy the credit - just
do it.
...anything is better than billions for the billionaires.
The Clinton-Gore Recession?
Text of a Letter sent by a Friend (Retired Navy Veteran)to the RNC Chairman Gov. Gilmore:
For Governor Gilmore:
Governor, I believe it's about time for the Party
and its leaders in Congress to preemptively begin
calling the current economic slump exactly what
it is, namely the "Clinton-Gore Recession."
The economy started to slump last summer. Before
the Democrats begin to blame it on President Bush,
as they certainly will, we should beat 'em to
the punch. Republican guests on the Sunday talk shows,
O'Reilly, HardBall, Crossfire, etc., shouldn't
miss ANY opportunity to blame the previous administration
for what's happening to the economy. Republicans
on the floor of the house and senate should do it, too.
Let's give the Democrats a dose of their own medicine and put them on the defensive for once.
For too long we've been the party of "Mr. Nice
Guy."
It's time for US to behave toward them in the
same ruthless and mean-spirited way they've treated us for years.
The hell with collegiality!!
Sincerely,
(name & town)
ha ha
Isn't that precious?
The only time in history when they blamed the guy driving the boat
was Jimmy Carter.
Carter's problems were Carter's fault.
Reagan's problems were Carter's fault.
Bush's problems were Carter's fault.
Clinton's miracle was Reagan's doing.
Bush's problems are Clinton's fault.
...and after a nine-year cock hunt, they're tired of being "Mr Nice Guy?"
ha ha
Quotes Then
"What I think the president ought to
do, is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel
and say, 'We expect you to open
your spigots!' I think Americans ought to be asking where's
all the capital we earned overseas
after defending some of our OPEC nation friends?''
-- Candidate Smirk, campaigning like he had
a pair and knew what he was doing
Quotes Now
Asked about OPEC cutting output again,
Bush said Monday that the oil producers were simply
"responding to decreasing world demand''
and no more.
I'll tell you what's going on:
OPEC is playing ball with Smirk and the American oil companies.
If OPEC floods the market with oil, Smirk and his buddies can't
rape the consumers.
If they pretend oil is scarce, they can charge any goddamn price
they want.
Smirk wins, the oil companies win, OPEC wins, and when the economy
tanks
Smirk can blame Clinton for the whole mess and the whore press
will shout it.
You can't think it's an accident that energy prices are going
thru the roof with Cheney in charge.
Why do you think he got that $25,000,000 bonus for qutting his
job?
They knew that money was coming back a thousand-fold.
This never would've happened when Clinton was in charge.
We're staring to see what a great president Clinton was.
Peace and prosperity is quickly becoming a thing of the past.
...and all it took was one little "harmless" stroll by Ariel Sharon to kick it off.
Unrest in the Middle East helps BIG OIL get richer faster.
Unrest in the Middle East gives the military industrial complex
an excuse to crank up production.
Unrest in the Middle East gives Smirk an excuse to blame Clinton
for our "unpreparedness."
Unrest in the Middle East gives that goofy-ass Star Wars a shot
at being funded.
There's so damn much money in just Star Wars that would've
been reason enough, all by itself,
for Smirky's friends to buy and cheat him into the White House.
Oh, by the way, his friends need a tax cut, too, so fuck you, America.
Contender Feedback
GOP Will Never Say 'Die' In Pursuit
Of Clintons
by Steve Young in the Albion Monitor, March 12, 2001
March 11, 2075, WASHINGTON -- In a move surprising almost no
one, and in a
response to the most recent Senate subpoena, grave diggers at Arlington
National
Cemetery began the unenviable task of exhuming President Bill Clinton's
remains.
The Senate hearings looking into a particle of DNA found in the Oval
Office humidor, are
expected to reach an elevated sense of drama and wit. The dead President
is expected
to receive a relentless grilling from Republican foes who seemed bent
on bringing the
former Commander-in-chief to his knees, contingent, of course, on whether
or not his
knees have yet to decompose entirely.
It is the seventh time this century that the beleaguered former President
has been dug up
to answer questions concerning alleged wrong-doing, a record surpassing
former
five-term President Hillary Clinton's six unearthings.
With cryogenics playing an ever-burgeoning part of the Republican Party's
effort to
humiliate the dead President, an amazing simulation of the late Senator
Arlen Spector of
Pennsylvania, said that, once again, "impeachment would not be out
of the question." If
the Congress and Senate are successful in their efforts, this would
be Clinton's third such
impeachment since his death in 2048.
172 year-old Senator Strom Thurmond, whose sustained efforts to embarrass
the former
president are only surpassed by his continued refusals to die, said,
"President Clinton
was and still is..." (The rest of his statement was unintelligible).
The death-impaired Clinton refused comment, except for a statement released
from his
office which continues to insist that "...the former President is once
again the target of
Republican enemies who still can't run on the issues."
From this robotic home at Disneyland's famed Hall Of Spinners, Clinton
animatromnic pal
James Carville said that, "...this is all a lot of Republican hooey.
We all know that even
dead, Bubba could whup whomever the GOP puts up against him." Carville's
comments
seem supported by Bill Clinton's unexpected third term in office (2060-2064),
to date the
only known incidence of a deceased candidate elected to the top post
and serving his
entire term. "His distinguished performance, considering his being
a corpse, was
first-rate," Carville drawled.
With recent polls still showing the deceased Chief Executive with a
78 percent approval
rating, reporters have asked the former President if he will entertain
running for public
office again, considering that he remains severely dead. The obviously
tired -- but still
enthusiastic -- Comeback Kid smiled, "it depends what your definition
of dead is."
Steve Young is a 2000 Prism Award winner and Humanitas Nominee for his comedy television writing.
Have you been to nakednews.com?
I liked it more than I thought I would.
The newsbabe gives you actual, real news from today - while stripping.
I had to make a detour to get a Windows multi-media plug in, which
I needed anyway,
but once that was installed it was nakednews.
You gotta see it at least once.
Diane
Holly
Victoria
Wasn't that a frustrating Sopranos last Sunday?
If you missed it, Tony's psychiatrist was
raped by some bonehead thug in a parking garage.
The idiot cops screwed up his processing
and a judge ordered the charges dropped,
so he was released and couldn't be legally
punished for the rape, even tho she can identify him.
Dr Melfi accidentally discovers where he
works, and she knows all she has to do is mention
this to Tony and the guy will be castrated
before he's killed - but she won't tell him.
She came reeeeeeeeal close, but she just
told Tony she'd been in a car wreck.
Me? I have no conscience.
I would've told in a heartbeat.
I know this sounds weird but The Sopranos
needs more crime and more violence.
I mean, this is about a mob family,
right?
My favorite guy on the show is Paulie.
Paulie is violent enough for two
thugs.
Have you seen his file at thesmokinggun.com?
Check this out: (Genaro is his real first name)
ha ha
He threatened to use a baseball bat on some guy and then carve his initials in the guy's forehead.
From: rwebs@microsoft.com
Subject: Scandals
I was listening to some pundit talk about the
Clinton presidency. He seemed to think that, if it wasn't
for the scandals, his tenure would have been
great. This pundit went on to blame Mr. Clinton for the
scandals, talking about him as a "flawed character".
Now, I'm not very good at remembering things,
but, apart from the Lewinski thing (which I see as more
of a scandal for Starr & Co than Mr. Clinton),
I can't for the life of me remember a scandal that wasn't
almost strictly a ditto-head Repug invention.
Of course, we ALL know that the Press only presents the truth,
so there must have been something! Can you help
me here?
Thanks,
Robert Webster
No, your memory is just fine.
There was never anything to any of the scandals.
It was all horseshit,
I think, designed to give the whore press something to talk about
besides Smirk Daddy's pardoning everybody to
hide the Iran Contra felonies.
We now know the Whore Court wanted the Democrats
defeated all along,
that's why they made one idiotic anti-Clinton
ruling after another,
like forcing the Secret Service and Clinton's
own lawyers to testify against him.
We're locked into many more years of the Whore Court taking our rights away.
Courtesy of the Wizard
of Whimsy
I caught a load of horseshit over at backbush.com
Federal taxes are the highest they've ever been in peacetime.
That can't be true.
Rush tells us every day that JFK lowered
the top rate from 90 percent to 60 percent.
How could today's less than 40 percent
be higher than 1960's 90 percent?
Americans pay more in taxes than they spend on food, clothing, and shelter combined.
That's crazy talk.
My mortgage, by itself, is more than my
taxes each month.
Americans work nearly five months of the year just to pay their tax bill.
This one might be true.
So get Trent Lott to stop building ships
(in Mississippi) that we don't need.
High tax rates are keeping low-income taxpayers out of the middle-class.
If that's true, why don't we lower taxes on the low-income taxpayers?
Economic slowing and widespread corporate layoffs prove that the American economy needs a boost -- now.
That would make you a supporter of The BartCop Tax Plan.
Smirk's plan slowly gives a tax break to the super-wealthy over
five years.
The BartCop Tax Plan gets immediate money to every wage
earner.
Is Metallica breaking up?
From: Jangellamf@aol.com
Subject: Energy Secretary Warns of Shortages, Recession Risk
How many energy shortages did we have while Clinton
was president?
None.
Do they really think we are so fucking stupid as to buy this line of bullshit?
Napster Talk
Another thing, have you ever been to alt.binaries.sounds.2000s?
They also have alt.binaries.sounds.1990s, alt.binaries.sounds.1980s
etc.
You can't dial up what you want, like on Napster, but sooner or
later everything shows up.
Nothing can stop the newsgroups.
From: efestag@mail.alac.org
Subject: Rush makes sense -- but only in his own mind
Rush makes sense -- but only in his own mind
"The dirty little secret remains: Cut taxes
and you increase revenue to Washington."
Rush, if this is true, then why is Congress so
reluctant to cut taxes?
The more they collect, the more they can and
will spend, as you never tire of pointing out.
So why the reluctance? Do they know something
you're not saying?
Huh, Rush?
Quotes
"He's embarrassing. He's not my
president. He will never be my president."
-- Julia Roberts, speaking for the majority
"I can't believe this moron is president."
I still hadn't seen The Contender.
When I went to the local Blockbuster, it was sold out.
Of course, they had tons and tons of shit movies.
I had a pen in my pocket, so I made a list of movies and how
many they had:
Get Carter 40
Hollow Man 40
The Sixth Day 40
Battlefield Earth 40
Rocky & Bullwinkle 40
Mission Impossible II 40
Almost Famous 0
Meet the Parents 0
The Contender 0
Who buys their movies for them? How does he keep his job?
Why did they buy so many copies of shit films nobody wants to
rent?
Of course, the shit movies all have that "Guaranteed in Stock"
sign on them
because nobody rents them so they're always be in stock.
I wish digital video on demand would hurry up and get here.
Anyway, I called them the next day and they said they had a copy, so now I've seen it.
Click Here to read spoilers about the movie.
Wait, here's one thing that won't spoil anything.
Click Here to hear Joan Allen put religious insanity in it's place.
From: JLPAYTON@up.com
Subject: The BartCop Tax Plan
Okay, here's what's been bugging me about this
whole tax cut thing.
We've already seen that trickle-down economics
helps only the rich,
and rather than trickle-down the rest of us get
trickled ON.
The wealthy do not become more generous
when they become more wealthy.
Doesn't work that way.
You give a wealthy man an extra 50K and he has
an extra 50K.
But it DOES work the other way:
You give anyone who ISN'T wealthy an extra thousand
or two, and what happens?
We SPEND it! Yes! Maybe not today,
and maybe not tomorrow, but guess what?
Eventually, it ends up in the pockets of the
wealthy ANYWAY.
And along the way, it enriches everyone that
much more, stimulates the economy,
saves jobs, puts food on the family, etc, etc.
EVERYBODY WINS with the BartCop tax plan.
So why doesn't everybody support it?
It's like you've been telling us all along.
They don't care so much about
winning as they do about EVERYONE ELSE LOSING.
US diplomats cringe as Powell gets standing ovation for Jerusalem slip
Whore City, March 19 (AFP) - US diplomats cringed Monday as a large
crowd exploded in raucous applause
for Secretary of State Colin Powell in appreciation of his recent gaffe
in calling Jerusalem the capital of Israel.
Powell, speaking before the annual meeting of the American Israel Public
Affairs Committee, carefully avoided
any mention of Jerusalem or Israel's capital in his remarks, but his
hosts were eager to play it up.
"This is one audience that appreciates your testimony before the House
International Relations Committee that
Jerusalem is the capital of Israel," Tim Wulliger said while introducing
Powell to the Jewish lobby group.
The capacity crowd in the ballroom immediately rose, enthusiastically
clapping, while Powell sat quietly
at the head table and embarrassed State Department officials remained
in their chairs, heads lowered.
Powell infuriated the Arab world when he told the congressional committee
Smirk was committed to moving
Washington's "embassy to the capital of Israel, which is Jerusalem."
The holy city is claimed as a capital by both Israel and the Palestinians
and long-standing US policy is that
Jerusalem's status must be resolved in negotiations between the two
sides.
For days after Powell's testimony, the State Department was forced to
repeatedly deny that US policy on Jerusalem
had changed and the secretary himself acknowleged committing a diplomatic
blunder in his unscripted remarks.
Israel's claim over the whole of Jerusalem, the Arab eastern part of
which it captured and annexed in the
1967 Middle East war, is not recognized by the international community.
Common Sense Redux
by Christian Livemore
Daschle Moves Toward BartCop Tax Plan
Tom Daschle recently
announced his plan to cut the bottom income tax rate
from 15% to 10% immediately and retroactive to
January.
Although we applaud
him for finally getting the Bartcop message, he offers too little too late.
Even though it does not favor the wealthy, like
the Bush Plan, the amounts are too small,
the method too complicated, the stimulus comes
too late and it still does not provide relief for
everyone who pays taxes. It's another
lame political loser.
The Bartcop Plan
is still the only plan on the table that meets the Presidents criteria
to
provide economic stimulus and give relief to
all taxpayers. Let's all of us contact Daschle
and tell him to adopt the Bartcop Plan, a sure
political winner, before its too late.
The Unbiased Reporter
Quotes
"A promise made and a promise broken.
After eight weeks in office,
President Bush has gone from C02 to
see you later."
- Hillary Clinton
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
