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..............................BartCop
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How will bartcop.com finally end?
Click Here for Chapter One
From: ggillis@sbti.com
Subject: Looking for info
I'm trying to find the article regarding Poppy's
pardon history--specifically the contributor
to the Bush library convicted of either embezzlement
or drugs. Searched your site for pardon,
heroin, embezzlement, Bush.. no dice. I
really want to nail this right wing nut who insists on
spamming our tennis team with his Alice in Wonderland
fantasies and looking glass logic.
Can you help??
Gary, I know this sounds bad, but if it doesn't show up with a search,
the only way to find it
is to comb thru each issue since the pardons, (about 60 issues) and
I don't have time.
If anyone can put their finger on the Bush-pardons-the-heroin-smuggler
story, e-mail Gary.
I think the story was from Salon.com,
maybe a search there would help...
From: kissfan72@peoplepc.com
What kind of man reads...
The Wall Street Journal is read by the
people who run the country (all whores).
The New York Times is read by people who
think they run the country (3/4 whores).
The Washington Post is read by people
who think they ought to run the country.
USA Today is read by people who think
they ought to run the country but don't understand the Washington Post.
The Los Angeles Times is read by people
who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time.
The Boston Globe is read by people whose
parents used to run the country.
The New York Daily News is read by people
who aren't too sure who's running the country.
The New York Post is read by people who
don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by
people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running
it.
The Miami Herald is read by people who
are running another country.
good day,
jimmypage from louisville
...and bartcop.com is read by people who know those ten newspapers are lying.
The Genius of Jerry Seinfeld
From wire services all over the world
NEW YORK (AP) - Appropriate for a man who
made a television show supposedly about nothing,
Seinfeld joked about doing nothing
on Letterman's show Wednesday. Seinfeld also talked about babies,
mad cow disease, pizza and that guy,
Jared, who lost 100 pounds in a Subway sandwich commercial.
It was his first televised stand-up comedy
performance in two and a half years.
"Everyone says you don't do the show anymore,
what do you do?" Seinfeld said.
"I'll tell you what I do. Nothing." But,
he said, doing nothing is not as easy as it looks.
"You have to be careful," he said. "The
idea of doing anything can easily lead to something
that would stop me from doing nothing,
and that would force me to drop everything."
Letterman introduced Seinfeld as someone
who "bounced back from the cancellation of his show."
Seinfeld, a new father, said babies are
wonderful, "but let's make no mistake about why these babies are here.
They are here to replace us. They're
cute, they're cuddly, they're sweet," he said, "and they want you out of
the way."
Jerry, stop!
My sides are splitting.
Nothing is funnier than baby jokes.
What?
The baby peed in your cereal?
That's too hysterical!
Do you have it on video?
Make him stop!
http://www.dystopical.com ...for what ails you.
From: (withheld)
Subject: Vic the racist is right!
You wrote:
>"Vic the Racist said again today that I could
be rich if I would just switch sides."
He's right.
If you're willing to give up a considerable portion
of your humanity,
it's amazing how much wealth you can build.
As a college professor once told me,
"You can get anything you want as long as
you're willing to fuck people to get it."
In the same vein, I heard a speech last year by author Michael Parenti:
"The rich want only one thing: everything."
J
Happy 25th birthday to Keri Russell
From the looks of her, I'll bet she's a Democrat.
Today in History
In 1919: Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political movement in Milan, Italy.
...and
In 1933: The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act, which granted Hitler total dictatorial legislative powers.
...and yet, ...Rush is working today!
From: HBujwid@aol.com
Subject: Thank you
I get so frustrated - glad that there are folks out there paying attention.
HB
George Clooney has a new girlfriend living with him - Lisa Snowdon.
Certainly not an un-attractive girl, but is she Clooney-worthy?
Remember what Chris Rock said: "A man is as faithful as his
options."
Does any man have options like Clooney?
Oh, well, maybe she cooks...
From: thediva@coup2k.com
Subject: Foo Fighters: What Dave Did for Our Dave... Who is our Dave?
Dear BartCop:
Who is "our Dave"? The Dave that Dave Groll
sang for?
Is it you? I only know you as BartCop...
I also wanted you to know that I did a piece about
the Hall fo Fame, too.
It's hard to find good news, so I take it where
I can find it:
http://coup2k.com/aerosmithrescue.html
And you are right-on when you talk about the current
state of rock music,
for the most part. (I exempt Aerosmith
-- their new album is FUCKING FANTASTIC!).
Something has changed in rock music, and not
for the better:
"For me (and I know music is a very personal thing
-- people like what they like), the music
I've always loved has been all about testosterone,
about the male animal.
The tomcat. Seduction and aggression.
Like watching a panther in the wild.
A window into a beautifully uncivilized corner
of the masculine mind.
Not that the other stuff isn't good, it just
doesn't GET me, if you know what I mean."
http://coup2k.com/aerosmithbeyondbeautiful.html
My theory is this: rock and roll,
at its best, should be all about sex and aggression.
It serves a societal need by giving folks a "vent".
Giving a voice to human drives and impulses is
what rock was born to do, and what it did best.
But the corporate entertainment industry neutered
rock(for the most part),
and so now we're stuck with folks venting FOR
REAL.
Bummer.
-Tammy
"The Diva"
coup2k.com
Diva,
On David Letterman's big "back from the dead" show, they asked him
who he wanted
as the musical guests on this biggest-of-all nights. Dave said,
"Get me Foo Fighters."
Problem: Foo Fighters were on tour in South America at the time,
so you'd think "well, ...that's that."
But they got word to the Foo Fighters on the road in South America
and Dave Grohl said,
"Dave needs us," and they cancelled
the rest of the SA tour and flew home.
Sidebar:
I can't think of anything more poignant
(new word for me) than the Letterman funeral.
If that surgery had gone bad, just think of the
visual of Dave's funeral.
Every top comedian in the country would attend
- crying.
Rock, Stewart, Leno, Pryor, Wayans, Grammer,
Murphy, Miller, the SNL alumni - crying
Dave was an emotional mess that night. People in the audience reported
Dave broke down
a few times and CBS cut those moments out of the broadcast later that
night.
So it was a damn emotional night. For me it all hit when the
Foo Fighters played.
From Salon.com
Dave introduced his handpicked musical guests,
the Foo Fighters, as
"My favorite band, playing my favorite song."
The song was the titanically thrashing "Everlong."
The old man has taste.
When Dave was going into his guitar solo, he looked over and smiled
and said,
"Welcome back, Dave," and proceeded to blow the roof off the
Ed Sullivan Theater.
By then, I was crying like Bob Dole at Nixon's funeral.
I won't forget that. I did a shot of Chinaco Anejo.
Dave was still alive.
Vaseline
The K-Drag based Williams Energy Company issued a press release
saying
they are not, ...repeat, ...are not
gouging energy consumers in the state of California.
They said they are merely "pricing their
product as market conditions will allow."
Market conditions?
Would that be similar to the market conditions after a hurricane
when some jackals
are gounging victims by selling bottled water for $20 a gallon?
Market conditions?
Would that be similar to the market conditions after an earthquake
when some jackals
are gouging victims by selling flashlight batteries for ten dollars
each?
Market conditions?
Would that be similar to the market conditions after a flood
when some jackals
are gouging victims by selling a ten pound bag of ice for $20?
You bastards created these market conditions, under Smirk's
watchful eye,
my "underestimating" the amount of energy that California
would need this year,
which will result in a tsunami of unearned money for you consumer-raping
jackals.
When you file your next quarterly reports, you will be "so surprised"
that you've
made more profit from this "underestimation" than any
other period in your history.
California is getting fucked by BIG OIL and the White House Thief,
and we're next.
Smirk is teaching California a lesson about what happens to people
who don't "play ball" with him.
America, America - God shed his rage on thee.
Mir Space Station Falls From the Sky
What role did Bill Clinton play?
Was Hillary Rodham Clinton involved?
Did any money change hands between Russia's enemies and the Clintons?
How many times did the Russians visit the White House?
Is there a quid pro quo?
Tonight, on The O'Reilly Factor, our guest is Dan
Burton, the most honest man in Washington.
Later on Hannity and Stooge, Larry Klayman (R-No
Dick) talks about his latest important lawsuit.
Later, Paula Von Zahn has liberal Democrat Pat
Caddell, with the truth on Clinton's Mir role.
Then at 11, Brit Hume with a Special report
"Mir - Mr. Clinton, how could you?"
At midnight, the Beltway Boys discuss Hugh Rodham's
role in the Mir debacle.
At 1 AM, Tony Snow - Live from Moscow - on how
Clinton's actions have turned our ally Russia
against America just to cause trouble for the second-greatest
president we've ever had, next to Saint Reagan.
Fox Choir: "Ronald Rea-a-a-gun!"
Fox, where we distort and you lay back and enjoy it like a good Democrat.
Bumper Sticker Seen in K-Drag
Iran and Afghanistan put God in
Schools
America Took Him Out
Quotes
"I'm never going to get out of this prison."
Sirhan, B. Sirhan, killer of dreams,
after being denied parole a 17th time.
Mr. Sirhan, good news!
I talked to the Kennedy family, and they said they wouldn't
mind you getting out.
They said if you could just get Bobby to sign the papers, they'll
agree.
No, dream killer.
You're going to die in prison.
You gave us Nixon like Nader gave us Smirk.
You changed American history for the worse, so you die in prison.
Maybe you should bunk with Charlie Manson - another of life's
winners.
You're going to die in prison, just like James Earl Ray.
Oswald and McVeigh both went the same way - thru the kitchen,
but you're gonna need to do the full amount of time, which is
forever.
Suck on that.
Bev Conover to appear on
C-Span's Washington Journal
Thanks to PoliticalAmazon.com
for the heads up
Onlinejournal.com
is one of the oldest and largest liberal online sources for
information you won't find in the mainstream media.
Bev Conover
of Onlinejournal.com is scheduled for a 5 to 7 minute interview
at 7:30 a.m. EST, Saturday, March 24 -- C-Span's Washington
Journal.
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
2001 OSCAR SPECIAL
Conservatives keep pushing
"Big Lie."
by Dave Zweifel
From: Keith
While in Orlando -- there were protesters still angry with the
outcome of
the election last year when Florida gave Bush the presidency
held signs like
"Jail to the thief'' and ''Defrauded by Bush Brothers.''
......................
Economics Lesson
I've heard Rush say this a hundred times, but I don't believe anything a Nazi says.
"When Ronald Reagan cut the marginal
tax rates,
overall revenue to the US Treasury
actually increased."
and then he'd reel off some fast numbers in quick-speak to seemingly
back that up.
Hey, Rush!
If you want to be more convincing on this point, I know a way
you can prove it.
Cut your advertising rates in half.
Using ditto-monkey logic, if you cut the rates you charge Damp
Rid to run commercials,
revenue to the EIB scam machine should actually increase -
right, Pigboy?
I mean, if Reaganomics and trickle-down really works, ...like
you say,
if you can really make more money by taking in less
money, ...like you say,
then you could get even more millions by cutting your rates,
right?
Why don't you publish your present advertising rates on your web
page,
then starting April 15, (just to be symbolic) cut those rates
in half for, say, a year,
then next April 15 you could publish a balance sheet proving
that charging less
actually puts more money in your pocket, ....you lying
fraud of a whore.
I dare you.
I double dare you.
You're lying, and all the non-ditts know it.
Reaganomics was always a shell game to screw the poor.
If you want us to buy that bag of horseshit,
prove that it works.
C'mon, Rush.
Publish your advertising rates, then cut them in half, make more
money,
and prove to everyone online that I'm the liar here.
Jadded
That's Aerosmith's newest hit on Napster.
Napster received a big-ass list of songs they couldn't legally
transfer.
Aerosmith's "Jaded" was on the illegal list, but "Jadded," is as legal as rain.
Months from now, people might come to the conclusion, "There's no stopping Napster."
From: Jenniferabbdevin@aol.com
Subject: This is wonderful!
Your publication is wonderful. I enjoy your site
every morning before
I start my day. I am sure you have a larger audience
then you realized.
My children enjoy your information. You must
continue the fight for honest
information, its a duty! I must add that my children
are of elementary
age and they are involved politically, and I
encourage them to be objective
in want they hear and read. When the election
was taking place their
school held their on election for the children
and my daughter was very upset
because the faculity was spreading propaganda
in favor of King George.
She is only six and made the determination on
her own that this took place
because the local paper was covering the school
election. My point is
that the republicans who control large
areas of our media sources think
that they may be able to control, but some of
us parents out there are
watching our children and will not allow them
to be controlled.
My daughter since then has decided she is interested
in politics and pays
as close attention as a six yr old can to the
political process around her.
She calls herself a DIE HARD DEMO!
I appreciate the enlightenment!
The Day The Lights Went
Out
by coach921@home.com
USA TODAY says Jennifer Love Hewitt wants to shed her "good girl" image
Jenn, you came to the right place. You just need some good ideas.
There's lots of ways you could lose that "good girl" albatross.
1. Wear your lil' "Love Goat" top on first dates.
2. Call Hugh Hefner - he might even pay you.
3. Spend a weekend at Shannen Dougherty's house.
4. Go to Las Vegas and discover luxury tequila
5. Lesbian scenes with Sarah Michelle Geller
6. Visit a fraternity, then try to be appointed vice president.
7. Be in OJ's car next time he beats up a cop
8. "Contribute" to the Clinton fund
9. Share a Chippendale dancer with Courtney Love
10. Date an elderly married man from a backwards dusty state.
My friend Joe from Boston has gone off the deep end concerning Napster.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
