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Volume 443 - Future Tense
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April 2, 2001

 Terrified Thief Begs China to Play Nice

 What I heard Smirk say: (with that deer-in-the-headlights look)
 "The next step for China is a prompt release of the crew and the plane."

 What ABC Whore Radio said Smirk said:
  "A tough-talking Smirk issued a stern ultimatum to China."
 

 Do they not know we own TVs?
 Do they not realize we heard what Smirk said with our own damn ears?
 Why do they continue to cover for Smirk?

 Here's a transcript of what the Terrified Thief actually said:

"The first step should be immediate access by our embassy personnel to our crew members.
 I am troubled by the lack of a timely Chinese response to our request for this access.
 Our embassy officials are on the ground and prepared to visit the crew and aircraft
 as soon as the Chinese government allows them to do so.
 And I call on the Chinese government to grant this access promptly.

"Failure of the Chinese government to react promptly to our request is inconsistent with standard
 diplomatic practice and with the expressed desire of both our countries for better relations.

"Finally, we have offered to provide search-and-rescue assistance to help the Chinese government
 locate its missing aircraft and pilot. Our military stands ready to help.

Thank you very much."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 Sorry, I fainted from fear at Smirk's "stern ultimatum."
 Christ, Dukakis in the tank wasn't as scary as President Valley Girl was today/

 And why is the whore media sculpting the truth?


From:  simone.rieger@chello.at

Subject: The BartCop Tax Plan

You DID it Bartcop, not $1500, but $300, it was more or less confirmed
by a Ms Applebaum, 20 seconds ago on ther BBC Business Report.
I believe the MORE than the less.

I hate compromise also,  but you proved strong voices can work.
Never give up

Simone
 

Simone, I don't have it here in front of me, but I saw a thing where
Armey the foul-mouthed Dick, of all people, mentioned a $600 rebate idea.

It's taking them a while, they're getting closer to the $1500 figure.



 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "...and what did the Chi-Coms do?
 They shot down one of our planes!!
  The truth is harsh, sometimes.
  You have to have courage to face the truth."
    --The Goat-sexer, first hour today
       If you heard Captain Oink today, you know that's what he said.

 But Pigboy - the terrified Smirk said those planes bumped,
 and then ours made a safe emergency landing safely and theirs is missing.
 If they shot our plane out of the sky, why did theirs crash?

 Does the terrified Smirk not have the courage to face the truth?

 ...you're one stupid, lying sombitch, aren't you, Pigboy?


From: cross@vassar.edu

Subject: New York

What about meeting up with some of the New York crowd while you're here?
We live in the boondocks, but may be able to come in for tequila tasting at some Manhattan establishment.

john
 

Hmmmm...

Possibly, but it would have to be in Brooklyn, on Tessio's turf, ...so I can be protected.


 If I read this cartoon right, they're saying cloning is another Napster.
 It's gonna happen.


 Oil Companies Report All-Time Record Profits
     ...just as BartCop predicted

 Click  Here

 Excerpt:
 Oil giant Exxon Mobil Corp. surpassed GM, rising to No. 1 from No. 3 with the company's
 $210 billion in revenue for 2000. GM, fell to No. 3, behind Wal Mart..

 Energy companies benefited from a surge in revenue brought about by falling supplies,
 utility deregulation, soaring natural gas prices and OPEC's maneuvering to keep oil prices high.

 Horseshit!
 Energy companies benefitted from a new strategery of knowing they could rape consumers
 with impunity and be held harmless by Jed Clampett and Uncle Dick.


 When Clinton was president, and some foreign nation got snippy with us,
 Rush/Hannity and the rest of the whores said the reason they did it was because,
"They know we have a weak leader and they're testing him to see just how weak he is."

 But now that stupider-than-Quayle President Dogshit is in office, they're saying,
 "Oh, they've bitten off more than they can chew. Smirk'll show them who's boss."

 ha ha

 Besides Pickles, does Smirky scare anybody?



From: (withheld)

Subject: You let both sides speak? Re: Nunya article

HA! BC, you have become nothing more than a dupe..
and it's a shame because I had more respect for you..
but then again I used to have respect for Michael Moore, so that'll teach me.

You haven't let both sides speak for awhile now, I guess that last chat debate against
that idiot repug that you lost must have scrambled your brains and left you insecure and weak.

ha ha

I notice you didn't publish that Robert Reich was named Media Whore of the Week
on mediawhores.com last week, nor did you publish the article exposing Ralph Nader's
kissing up to Bush through an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal,

ha ha
You're a cocky goof-sucker, you know that?

Why are you promoting such democrat hating sites as onlinejournal.com and commondreams.org and alternet?
They print nothing but Gore and democrat hating articles.

ha ha
Make you stop.

I've come to the conclusion that you'll say anything to see your name in print.
No matter how stupid it sounds, you'll say it to see your name in print at  bartcop.com
so I'm not going to print your name anymore.

...but keep sending your wacko horseshit.
The normal people get a kick out of it.


 What TIME Magazine said about that Spy Plane

 It's hardly surprising Beijing hasn't rushed to hand over a U.S. spy plane and its crew.
 To understand why, flip the script for a moment: Imagine a Chinese plane flying a surveillance mission
 off the Florida coast colliding with an Air Force F-16 sent on an aggressive monitoring mission.
 The U.S. fighter goes down and the pilot is lost; the Chinese plane is forced to land on U.S. soil.
 The incident occurs at a moment when China is about to supply a package of sophisticated weapons
 to Cuba (possibly including the very same model spy plane now in U.S. hands); is planning to deploy
 a missile shield that would neutralize the U.S. nuclear arsenal; and has signaled that curbing U.S.
 regional ambitions is to become the organizing principle of its military doctrine. Imagine further that
 the incident comes two years after Chinese bombs destroyed a U.S. embassy in Europe...

 It's unlikely Americans would feel in a particularly forgiving mood, either.
 

 Remember when Castro shot down those "freedom Flyers" from Miami?
 They were flying over Havana, for Christ's sake.
 Should Castro have assumed pamphlets are the only things to be dropped from those planes?
 Would we allow a Cuban or Chinese plane to fly so close to our shores
 that America was their best bet for an emergency landing of a "spy plane?"

 ...and why does the media call it that?


 When I was just an infant in the Internet game, I met my good friend Daryl Cagle.
 He's so big now, he's the president of the Cartoonist Association.

 He's good as hell, isn't he?


The President who bought power and sold the world
George Bush's decision to ignore global warming and pull the plug on Kyoto is payback
for the energy industries which backed him, reports Ed Vulliamy Special report: global warming
Special report: George Bush's America

Sunday April 1, 2001
The Observer

Click  Here

Excerpt:
When George Bush was Governor of Texas, he called upon the big oil >


Transfer interrupted!

>
to draw up a draft for the state's Clean Air Act. They came up with a Bill allowing them to regulate themselves.
Just as Bush was signing it into law, in December 1988, the town of Odessa - a few miles from his birthplace
- was engulfed by a black, toxic smoke so thick that drivers had to use their headlights during daytime.


From: randy.eisensmith@mssm.edu

Subject: New York, New York

Bartcop,

        Glad you and the missus decided to scrape the cowshit off of your boots and head for civilization!
We'll be looking for you here in the Big Apple. Although I have only been living here for about 5 years,
I feel the same way about New York relative to the US as I do the US relative to the rest of the world.
This place is so effing great that even the most goose-stepping of Republicans can't screw it up.

        As for your upcoming visit, your list of things to do, though long, was not fully comprehensive.
You missed some obvious things like Yankee Stadium (thanks Babe Ruth), the Statue of Bigotry (thanks Lou Reed),
the Scores strip club (thanks Howard Stern), and the ABC building (thanks Hermann Goering aka Flush Windbag).
You also missed some less obvious stops. There is the Amadou D'Allou shooting range, where all you have to do
is claim that you thought the cell phone was a gun in order to bag you a real person of a certain ethnic persuasion,
if you catch my drift. There is also the Rudolf Giuliani Plumbing Museum, where you can repeatedly insert toilet
plungers and other pointy objects into the rectums (recta?) of, surprise, persons of the very same ethnic persuasion.
You can also stop at the White Castle on Long Island where Rick Lazio is now serving up sliders to the
closest thing to Okies that we have here in NYC. I hear he looks pretty good in a hair net.

        Wherever you decide to head, bring plenty of dough. This burg ain't cheap. Lunch for two in mid-town
last week set me back $120, not including the $10 drinks. Thank God for expense accounts.
Of course, if you are on a budget, there are always the hot dog vendors (shudder).

        If you have any questions, give me a shout. In the meantime, keep hammering them stupid.

RCE

RCE,
I like the Yankee Stadium idea, Mrs BC wants to see the Statue of Bigotry,
so maybe I'll let her and Christian go there while I check out Scores (what's the address?)
They say that's my best chance to meet Clinton.  (He has an office there.)

Isn't the Excrement In Broadcasting building actually Madison Square Garden?
I'll pass on the shooting range and rectum inspection, but I like White Castles :)

...and get outta here with the hotel prices!!

The last real trip we took, this was the view from our $85 room:

We're paying almost three times that to stay each night in New York.
I asked the hotel how the view was and they sent this:

 ...but I'm sure we'll have a good time.


 Does Barbara Steisand read  bartcop.com?

 Click  Here

 Excerpt:
 "Talk about Republican pardons. George Bush protected himself by pardoning those
   linked to him in the Iran-Contra scandal. He pardoned a heroin drug trafficker and a
   terrorist who was responsible for 73 deaths. Clinton's pardons had no impact
   on the health and welfare of the American people."



From: roybryant@SEVENtwentyfour.com

Subject: Broken link

There appears to be a problem on this page of your site.

On your page http://www.bartcop.com/0305.htm
when you click on your link to http://www.algore.com/townhall/index.html you get the error:
Domain name lookup failed (may be a transient error)

Roy

As a rule, if I didn't provide a "forever" version, it wasn't all that hot.
The excerpt should tell the story if it wasn't worth keeping.


Silence is fools gold.
by James Higdon

Click  Here

Excerpt:
I was mentioning to someone several days ago that I might be asked to speak
before a group gathered to protest the theft of the presidency ­ the blindsided
attack on the government of the people, by the people, and for the people.
“That’s dangerous,” was the response.  “People get killed that way.”



From:  garic2k@yahoo.com

Subject: GW's admin gives more tech to China in 1 day...

GW Bush's administration has given away more SECRET
technology to the Chinese in 1 day, than Clinton has EVER done.

I wonder if any GOP supporters were joy riding on the spy plane?
Like they were on the Submarine that killed 9 Japanese?

If they think the Chinese are giving that plane back without going
over it first with a fine tooth comb, they are nuts. Especially after
one of their pilots is dead/missing after the mid-air collision...

Oh well, GW is getting closer to the renewel of the Cold war he is pushing for...
 

As predicted here a hundred times, we're getting war and recession from Smirk,
instead of the peace and prosperity that the Clinton Miracle provided.



 




 

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



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