 |
||||
|
|
I am very sorry... |
|
.........
|
|
|
|
||||
|
|
I am very sorry... |
|
.........
|
|
..............................<
href="http://www.bartcop.com/store.htm">BartCop
Store......................................................................................
...
...... ..................................................................................................................................................................................Support
Bartcop.com
|
|
Quotes
"You people have to remember,
we don't know what all
happened behind the scenes."
--The goat sexer, last minute of the
second hour.
No, Pigboy.
That's what you should have said when Clinton pardoned
Marc Rich.
When Israel calls and says "Mr. President,
we NEED this favor,"
then you should assume there are details that can't be
released,
because Marc Rich funded some black ops for the Massad.
...and if I know that, you know that, Pigboy.
But when Smirk begs the Chi-Comms for mercy like a bleeding, battered
wife,
that affects our standing in the world's eyes, you lying whore.
How did we get a wartime deserter for a leader, anyway?
(sigh...)
...and my hammer is smaller than Howard Stern's penis...
ABC News continues to cover for Smirk
"The word 'sorry' may not mean the same
in China that is does here,
but those magic words freed our
people."
-- ABC News radio, live from New York
ABC/Disney, thy name is whore.
From: lannykiedrowski@hotmail.com
Subject: McVeigh The Democrat
We Republicans want him executed, do you Democrats?
Or, do you want to rehabilitate him?
Lanny Kiedrowski
ha ha
Lanny, do you know how good of a salesman you'd be if you could
convince me
that Tim "government is the problem" McVeigh was a Democrat?
This rat bastard is such a conservative, he's non-irrehabilitatable.
* (homage
to Smirk)
Fry the baby-killing scumbag.
Quotes
"No one can deny, in face of the evidence,
that it is easy, given military power,
to produce a population of fanatical
lunatics. It would be equally easy to produce
a population of sane and reasonable
people, but many governments do not wish to do so,
since such people would fail to admire
the politicians who are at the head of these govenments."
-- Sir Bertrand Russell
Thanks to stubby_rodriguez@yahoo.com
From: hholli1@hotmail.com
Subject: President Bush Sr throwing the 1992 election
Dear Bartcop:
I adore your website.
It has proven to be a shot in the arm in the wake of the election theft.
While your chat room is down (sorry I e-mailed
you on that one) I have been "catching up"
on some of your other links. You asked
that conservatives e-mail you if they see a hole in your
theory regarding George HW Bush (R-sells arms
to drug dealers) throwing the 1992 election.
Although I am a liberal, I feel I might have
this to add.
It is my belief, now more than
ever, that Republicans TRULY are the worthless scum
you've always touted them to be. The thing
about your theory that bothers me is this:
Had George HW Bush (R-sleeps with clones of his
own wife) WON the election of 1992,
he STILL could have pardoned the Weinberger 5.
It would have obliterated the special
prosecutor and he STILL could have claimed executive
privilege when questioned about it.
The media got sold out in the late eighties,
so there would not have been the huge
media attention that accompanies our former President's
pants.
I am not so sure George HW
Bush (R- assassinates Kennedys) COULD have won the
election of 1992. Bill Clinton was energetic,
enthusiastic and INTELLIGENT. I digress from
your theory that George HW Bush (R-weasel) threw
the election not because the postulate is
not well-founded, but because he could not have
WON that election no matter how he tried.
Thanks a lot for your time,
I'm a big fan,
Heather
Heather, thanks for the kind words.
On the pardons, we could speculate for years on what could
have happened, but it's my opinion that
since Democrats controlled the House and Senate in 1992, (real
Democrats, not today's fake Democrats)
Bush's second term would not have been a full one.
My theory is based on the assumption that he KNEW he'd be dead
meat if he stopped that
truth-revealing trial thru constitutional trickery, and that's why
he threw the election.
It's my opinion that Bush figured he could re-live his glory days with
Jeb as president in 1996,
so he threw the election to protect Saint Reagan's fabricated legacy
and his own guilty ass.
...and the press dutifully played along with closed eyes so they could chase Clinton's cock.
Back-stabbing, wartime
deserter.
Quotes
"We really got one over on the Chinese because
they wanted us to apologize
again and again and again for a whole
bunch of stuff, and we only apologized for a few things."
-- Colonel Mustard, in the library,
with a candlestick
Gee, what could be better than a man who avoided military service
because he couldn't keep
his dirty butt crack clean enough for Army standards, excusing
a wartime deserter's bungling.
Powell Agrees with bartcop.com
"There was nothing to apologize for.
To apologize would have suggested that
we had done something wrong or accepting
responsibility for having done something
wrong, and we did not do anything wrong
and therefore it was not possible
to apologize.''
So, Secretary Powell, why did President Weak and Stupid say "we are sorry" twice?
Check out The Surpremos from DemocraticUnderground.com
Click Here to get Part Six, with links to Parts 1-5
Quotes
"Dear China,
We deeply
regret what happened to your pilot."
-- President Weak and Stupid
True, I'm writing this in anger, maybe more angry than I've been
since
I've been doing this page, but I'll tell you one goddamn thing:
I wouldn't apologize to anybody who tried to steal my car or knock me off the road.
If somebody tries to hijack my car, and put my life
in danger,
my regrets to the mother-effer will be coming in 40 caliber bursts,
and that's a goddamn promise you can take to the bank.
Quotes
"Rush, if it was me, I'd rather
rot in a Chinese prison
than have my country apologize
to get me back."
-- caller, end of second hour
Yes!
For the first time, perhaps, I have respect for a ditto-monkey.
The guy who said that was a soldier, not a wartime deserter.
Does Pigboy read bartcop.com?
End of the second hour, Rush told his sheep one reason Russia
fell
was because they got tired of living like crap while watching
"Dallas" on TV.
I guess he's cruising the back issues, cause that's back a year or two...
From: davidh@chemstations.net
Subject: Excerpt from chinese diplomat manual
How to keep a US plane by returning hostages:
1. Demand apology to 'save face' before releasing
hostages and plane.
2. Wait for Jesse Jackson to offer help to GOP.
3. Wait 24 hrs for GOP beg you to accept apology
to 'save face'.
4. Change deal to 'China keeps plane, unless
Jesse Jackson comes to negotiate.'
5. Use new spy plane to monitor US naval group.
Y'know, if Jesse had gone over there to negotiate, he wouldn't have
had
the authority to beg like Smirk has, ...sorta.
It wouldn't have been any fun to watch Jesse humiliated - he wasn't
elected.
Of course, neither was President Weak and Stupid, but who cares?
It's what Tony Scalia wants, right?
That's what's important.
...that, and never trust a wartime deserter.
Quotes
"It's not a sign of weakness to say you're
sorry."
-- Pigboy, begging us to leave our senses.
From: pamgreen@cac.net
Subject: Chinese Di-blow-me-cy
(sigh)
A few minutes ago, I listened to ABC's analysis of the release of the
airmen
in China. I'm having a little trouble (once again) believing
my ears.
First, they carried on about how the Bush administration had been trying
all
along to come up with a WAY of apologizing that the Chinese would accept.
Did I not hear the Cokehead-in-Chief say when this started that there
would BE no apology?
When did they start working so earnestly on the apology?
Then they said that they had found a Chinese word that to us means
"acknowledge" but to the Chinese means "apologize". DIDN'T WE
JUST HEAR 8 YEARS
(AND $50 MILLION DOLLARS)WORTH OF CRITICISM OF CLINTON FOR CAREFULLY
CHOOSING HIS WORDS TO MEAN WHAT HE WANTED THEM TO MEAN?
(Sorry about the caps, but I really feel like shouting.)
Don't these people hear themselves? Do they think we just nod
our heads
like little dashboard puppies every time they open their mouths?
Way back in the 50's, when I was in grade school, I remember being taught
how to recognize propaganda. This was taught in a context of
explaining why
the Russian people didn't get accurate news reporting; the Soviet government
controlled the media and therefore all the news was slanted against
good old
America, blah, blah, blah. To the best of my memory, there were
seven or so
signs that the truth were being manipulated (Bandwagon, jumping to
conclusions, misleading statistics, character attacks come to mind
.. I
should do some research and see if I can find the list). Anyway,
it just
about defines the mainstream news media in America today. Whether
it's
government controlling the media or big business controlling both the
media
and the government makes little difference.
I also noticed that they pointed out that the Ambassador to China is
actually a Clinton appointee...that way if the public really goes ballistic
over the "apology" they can once again shift the blame to....guess
who?
This Just In...
ABC News says there was "NO APOLOGY."
2:02 PM CST, live from New York
That's right, you're eyes and ears have been
lying.
ABC would never lie to cover for Smirk, so this must be true.
Jesus Christ, I'm getting sicker by the minute.
Never trust a wartime deserter.
Thirty years ago, you heard these words on CBS on Saturday night.
"Of course, Mr Phelps, if any member
of your team is caught or killed,
the Secretary will disavow any
knowledge of your actions."
...but under President Weak and Stupid, it's different.
"We're sorry, can we have our spies
back, pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
We promise never to do
anything like this again.
We're so very, very sorry,
would you release our people, pleeeeeeeeease?"
Quotes
"The rule is, 'We do not negotiate with
terrorists in public.'"
--the vulgar Pigboy, first hour today
No, Rush, that's the GOP rule.
The American rule is similar to that.
The American rule is 'We do not negotiate with terrorists.'
Hey, Rush, you see this thing here? --- .
That's called a "period."
That means the sentence is OVER with.
It doesn't mean it's time to invent excuses and loopholes.
Of course, we're at the mercy of Scalia and Smirk,
so America maybe doesn't have that rule anymore.
Never trust a wartime deserter.
Christ, help me.
Rush just played a tape of Andres Mitchell (R-Cock-hunter) saying
the word "Sorry"
in Chinese doesn't mean what "sorry" means in English.
That's fucking crazy.
...and they whined about the meaning of the word "is?"
What the fuck does it matter to us?
Hey, Pigboy, WE ALL HEARD Smirk, on his knees, begging
China for forgiveness
Rush says "We fooled them."
Yeah, like a shooting victim takes a bullet to fool the shooter.
Quotes
"Saying we did not
apologize is not spin."
In most any other case, this would be hysterical.
This time, it's not, it's goddamn sickening to see America crawl.
Never trust a wartime deserter.
Do you remember on an early West Wing, it was the first
time we saw Bartlet scream.
He was screaming at his daughter Zoey, explaining to her that
if she gets grabbed at some party
and pulled into a van and flown out of this country under diplomatic
cover, and rushed to
somewhere in Africa, and held in a metal shack while her kidnappers
contact the White House
and say "We're going to send a finger
every hour that the prisoners in Israel aren't released?
"At that point," Bartlet said,
"America doesn't have a president.
America has a worried father, instead.
That's why that CAN'T HAPPEN!"
Well, look where we are now.
America doesn't have a president.
We have a weak and stupid moron in the Oval Office.
We have President Fredo, and this is life and death.
Never trust a wartime deserter.
Oh, God, what did we do to make you this angry?
From: garic2k@yahoo.com
Subject: Hardline Bush..... surely they jest...
Lets look at GW's hardline stand as it progressed the last 11 days....
1) Hardline, the Chinese are at fault
2) "We are making substantial progress"
3) "We will not apologize."
4) "We regret the missing pilot."
5) "We are sorry the pilot died."
6) "we are sorry this incident happened,"
etc etc....
Now a double sorry.....
Wednesday April 11 12:47 PM ET (Reuters)
'Double Sorry' Ends China-U.S.
Spy Plane Crisis.
Talk about being all over the map..
He progressively wimped out more and more...
We know what the W stands for.....
George WIMP Bush.
Yes, it's disgusting, isn't it?
Never trust a wartime deserter.
Rush's first call today was a ditto-monkey who said he was sick
that President Weak and Stupid caved in to the blackmailing Chi-Comms.
He hasn't allowed another call like that thru yet.
He can't even let ditto-monkey's speak on Rush's show, because
they're not
getting paid millions per month to be a lying whore for the Republican
Party.
ha ha
Jus got my first laugh out of this Smirk debacle. Pigboy just said,
"This 'sorry' means the opposite
of 'regular sorry.'"
Regular sorry?
Rush, if you'd open your phones right now,
your own sheep would call you a whore.
From: ARazeghi@aol.com
Subject: Kobain - Cancer vs Crohns ( It matters not)
Bart, I think we all recognize that you produce
an off the cuff rant on a daily basis,
which must be incredibly difficult. Don't
agonize about the occasional misstatement.
It's unimportant. The real beauty of your
daily rants is that they are so spontaneous
and refreshingly honest that one never doubts
your sincerity. You provide a real service
for those of us out here who feel as though we've
gone through the looking glass every time
we pick up a paper or turn on the nightly news.
We're able to have our feelings validated
and get a good laugh at the same time.
So keep doing what you're doing Bart.
It's one of a kind, and we love it.
Patricia
Text of U.S. Letter to Chinese
Dear Mr. China,
We are very sorry...
We are very sorry...
We appreciate China's efforts to see
to the well-being of our crew.
Sincerely,
The United States under a weak moron.
So, we've lost two wars, not counting Vietnam.
We lost the war to elect our own leaders,
and now we're begging China to forgive us?
...son of a bitch...
This must be that "honor and dignitude" Smirky promised us.
Remember how "proud" we were going to be with a "good man" in
the White House?
Do you feel proud to be an American today?
Let the truth ring loud and clear from the highest mountaintop:
If you want America to put on a pink tutu and dance the hula,
just force one of our planes down and our country is yours.
Just tell us what you want, and tell us what to say.
We don't mind.
We don't mind the humiliation.
We don't mind sitting up and begging.
We don't mind playing the fool.
We don't mind jumping when you bark.
We don't mind being China's cabanaboy.
We won't even ask for the Vaseline.
It's OK - just fuck us.
We don't mind.
Do you feel proud to be an American today?
Quotes
"President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in.
President Bush did NOT cave in."
-- The vulgar Pigboy, apologist for the in-bed-with-China
Bush administration.
From: amorgan@mail.cesd.wvu.edu
Subject: Carville vs O'Reilly
'Morning! Panetta Institute just called...
The Carville vs O'Reilly show is being re-aired,
in its entirety, tomorrow night (12th)
on C-Span @ 5:00 PST. [6 MST, 7 CST, 8
EST]
If you can watch, it will be worth your time! I've been unable to get a transcript.
Regards,
-April
Carville vs. O'Reilly?
Is this too good or what?
I'm there.
Thanks, April.
Quotes
"I know the American people join me in expressing
sorrow for the loss of life of a Chinese pilot.
Our prayers are with his wife and his
child."
-- President Weak and Stupid
"Sorrow" for the skyjacker?
Not me, not one goddamn bit.
...unless we're being lied to by our government.
If we were breaking laws, then we should apologize.
But Smirk has assured us we were over international waters.
Remember when Ghadafy claimed 200 miles of the Gulf of Sidra?
Saint Reagan said, "We don't play by
those rules."
But what does Smirk do?
He apologizes for being over international waters when China attacked our plane?
Apologizes?
So, now it's official: Smirk is more stupid than
Reagan.
America, America, God shed His rage on thee.
Shouldn't Congress subpeona Smirk's staffers and find out what
was promised
to China so Smirk could get America out of this bungled fuck-up?
Oh, ...that's right, ...I forgot.
Republicans are God-sent, and need no oversight like Democratic
administrations do.
Oh, Jesus, I need a drink.
And this country needs some real Democrats and a fucking backbone.
Just like Iran-Contra, we'll never know what happened here.
The Bush family has once again buried the entire truth forever.
Meanwhile, China receives their biggest US-technology transfer in history.
...but that's OK, because Cheney and Powell know what they're doing...
Quotes
"Granted, the majority of Americans don't
like the Smirk apologies to China,
but it scored big with women, and that's
because women can see the big picture."
-- the vulgar Pigboy
When women forgave Clinton, Pigboy said it was because they were
idiots, thinking with their vaginas.
Now he credits them with some "special diplomatic insight," for
siding with President Weak and Stupid
How did this "tutu" deal
come about?
From CNN's senior China analyst, Wily Lam
Beijing-based diplomatic analysts said by
presenting the messages of regrets
by Bush and Powell as a victory for
China's tough line, Jiang Zemin has successfully
protected itself from charges of being
too "soft" with the U.S.
Yes, there's no doubt who won this match.
But, no doubt, the American whore media will tell us "how tough"
Smirk was on them.
Having covered its flank, the Jiang team
might be in a
better position to do serious bargaining
with Washington
over what Beijing wants to get in return
for the speedy release
of the 24 U.S. crewmen held in Hainan Island.
It's my guess China got every damn thing they wanted.
With Smirk crumbling in public, there's no telling what kind
of grovelling he did in private.
The Chinese media on Friday quoted several
American and Western newspapers and
news agencies to the effect that "the American
stance is softening."
Softer than Strom Thurmond watching a stripper at Scores.
If anybody knows of a time in our memories (since JFK) when America
has been made
to scoot the pooch for some commie gangster, please let
me know - soon - because I'm
ashamed of the way America's "president" has handled this whole
deal.
Somebody's got to say it - those 24 lives were expendable.
These were professional spies which, according
to Al Martin, agreed to value these secrets over their lives,
...but that's not what happened, is it?
Martin said those 24 had orders to put that plane in the water where is would self-destruct,
...but that's not what happened is it?
China got to interrogate 24 of our spies - unheard of in
my lifetime - and they have
whatever they want from our airplane, and worst of all, they
have our goddam apology.
Saint Reagan and Daddy Bush made a deal with terrorists to steal
the 1980 election.
Like father, like son, Smirk has made a deal with the enemy.
There was a time when America would not submit to blackmail.
...but that's not what happened is it?
Did Smirk promise we would not to spy on them again?
We'll never know, will we?
We're going to be kept in the dark, for "national security" reasons."
I'm fucking sick.
From: david.mcgriffy@athensgroup.com
Subject: From the last real newspaper
I was reading "The Guardian" on-line today and ran into this on a chat board.
"Henry Hyde said Sunday our U.S. servicemen in
China should be considered hostages.
So, that gives us an energy shortage, a recession,
and a hostage crisis.
George W. Bush does a better Jimmy Carter impression
than Dan Aykroyd ever did"
Politics, humor, and show business in one joke.
Who says the British have no sense of humor.
The do have the last real newspaper.
DMcG
From: Major Philip E. Simmons
Staff Judge Advocate
11th Marine Expeditionary Unit
www.11meu.com/sja
Subject: FW: Apology # 2
APOLOGY TO THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA
It is with deep regret, hesitation, and contrition
that I, The President
of the United States of America, offer apology
to the Chinese nation and its peoples.
I apologize for the heinous act performed by our
large, sluggish, propeller driven airplane
when it got in the way of your highly maneuverable,
supersonic, technologically superior, jet aircraft.
Furthermore, I sincerely regret the fact that
by flying in international airspace, we afforded your "highly competent"
pilot the opportunity to fly his aircraft into
our own, causing him to spiral to his death into the ocean.
We regret the choice made by said pilot when he
used deficient judgment in electing to attempt aerial intimidation
upon our slower moving, unarmed, surveillance
vehicle. This situation brings to mind a similar episode when I
was in grade school and my face got in the way
of the school yard bully's fist. He broke a bone in his hand
and I felt as compelled to apologize for that
incident as I do for this one.
Let me summarize by stating that it is our sincere
hope that you accept this "heart felt" and "sincere" apology
for the actions committed by your pilot. We are
sorry that we got in the way. We are sorry that we were forced
to leave international airspace and land in Chinese
territory. We are sorry that you were forced to provide food and
housing for our military personnel. Most
of all, we are sorry that you have, in your possession, some of our most
technologically advanced surveillance equipment on the planet. I hope that
you can find it in your heart to forgive us.
I hope that soon you will be compelled to release
our men and our property.
Because I really don't want to have to apologize again when we have to kick your ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
President of the United States
PS. Have a nice day.
Yes!
Wouldn't it be nice if that's what he said?
Wouldn't it be nice if that's the president we had?
Instead of this groveling and dirt-kicking defanged cowboy?
The press keeps telling us how "defiant" and "hard line" our president
is,
but the White House statements all have "regrets" and "sorry" in them.
Major, if we were in the right, why do we have regrets?
Apology #2 is what I've been saying.
Why do we have regrets? Because they mugged our plane?
I'm not demanding an answer, because you can't really know.
I just think we're not getting the real story, and with Bush, that's
damn scary.
We missed out on the real story 8 years and five months ago, too.
I sincerely believe Bush gave up the White House to hide those secrets,
which means they were damn big and damn ugly secrets.
That scares me...
Fix, Fix, Fix
That Millionaire was as fixed as the election.
The $500,000 question was, "What is
Earth's circumference?"
Duh!
24 one-hour time zones, ...could it be 24,000 miles?
That's fifth grade geography stuff
Then the BIG question:
"Who invented the first mass-produced
helicopter?"
Before the choices came up, I thought of Da Vinci.
Then I re-read the question and caught the "mass-produced," ruling
Leo out.
My second guess was "Bell," but when Sikorsky came up as "A,"
I knew they
wouldn't give him a false, close answer, so I knew it about the
same time as Wheezeboy.
It was funny, tho...
As soon as he saw Sikorsky, he started wheezing real bad.
I guess I would've, too, with $2,000,000 on the line.
But aren't those questions too easy?
Sure, I've been bitching about nobody winning, but if I know
the answer, with my IQ,
it really shouldn't be worth 2 mil.
Fix!
Kurt Cobain
From: hatmanke@msu.edu
Kurt Cobain DIDN'T have stomach cancer - however,
you are correct that he did have
incredible stomach pain, that drove him to heroin
- it was the only thing that got rid of the pain.
-Kevin
From: Woestick@aol.com
Kurt didn't have cancer he had Chrones Disease
which causes the poor person who has it abdominal pain,
often in the lower right area, and diarrhea.
Rectal bleeding, weight loss, and fever. Bleeding may be serious
and persistent, leading to anemia. I had
a girlfriend who suffered (she still does actually) from this and it was
a nightmare, almost unbearable.
Bartcop, keep up the good work.
I read your site everyday when I get home from
work.
It's the best out there, thanks much.
Kevin
From: michele@pdxnet.net
Subject: Kurt Cobain Obit
Excerpt:
"Kurt had suffered from a rare illness for almost
seven years, causing a chronic stomach pain of
such an intensity that almost every day he considered
killing himself. This constant severe pain
led to a deep melancholic depression verging
on schizophrenia, and frequent bouts of narcoplepsy.
None of the doctors he visited were of any help,
but the money he made from Nirvana offered
him a temporary release to the pain - through
heroin. Soon the heroin took over, and although
he tried to kick the habit on numerous occasions,
the stomach pains returned with such an
intensity that even the heroin appeared to be
a better alternative."
So I was almost right about the stomach cancer, but nothing
gives Captain Grunt
an excuse to call Cobain "worthless human
debris."
I guess that's what makes him the vulgar Pigboy.
Rare Closing Sidebar:
This is an example of why you should never
use bartcop.com as reference material.
I remembered "cancer," it was apparently Chrones
Disease.
Forgive me, I'm Catholic.
All I'm saying is, if you read a claim I've made,
use it as a ramp to further check a story out.
I'm pretty much working "live" here, which is
a another story.
I haven't had a chance to step back and compare,
but the issues from, say, 105-150
were so different than what's on bartcop.com
now.
Back then, I was doing an issue every three weeks.
It varied, I remember once sending out two RL-LNW's
in one day, but often it was weeks
between issues, sometimes over 30 days, and it
was a different kind of comedy.
I'd write a rant about something on the 5th,
and re-write it twelve times and by the 14th,
after 40 re-writes in nine days,
I lost patience with it and just hit "send."
It might've been good, it might notta.
But the last hundred days probably saw 90 issues,
with some instant, from-the-gut, no-time-to-reflect
kind of take on the news, which makes it soooooooo
different from what came earlier.
Koresh as my witness, I'm not looking for a compliment,
I just haven't (till now)
considered what a different medium them two
am.* (homage to Smirk)
I need a mentor, some father figure to
step forward and explain the comedy thing to me.
I know pieces, but I can't see the big picture.
Maybe someone could explain the subtle nuances
between multi-rewritten bad writing and
instant,off-the-cuff bad writing, and bottomline it for me?
The last 20 months have been without a net.
Damn, I wish I knew what question to ask ...
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
