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..............................BartCop
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Ralph Reed is the new chairman of the Georgia Republican Party.
Today in History
Sixty-two years ago, Germany and Italy announced a military and
political alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis.
Exactly six years later, Germany signed an unconditional surrender
at Allied headquarters in Rheims, France
Twenty-six years ago, the Vietnam War came to an end, along
with 58,000 lives.
Eleven years ago today, President Bush said he was "just kidding"
about "Read my lips, no new taxes."
...and it's Traci Lord's 33rd birthday
Quotes
"Tim McVeigh's got a case - you don't
send the FBI in to kill women and children.''
-- Gore Vidal
Here we go again...
Senator John Danforth, highly respected by right-wing Republicans,
said
"The federal government was 100 percent
innocent of starting that fire at Waco."
Why isn't Gore Vidal aware of that if I am?
Does Vidal think the F.B.I. shot some kids early in the raid?
There's no evidence any kids were harmed until Vern set the compound
on fire.
But that hate clouds their minds.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Danforth was
covering for him.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Robert Fiske
was covering for him.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Kenneth Starr
was covering for him.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Dan Burton
was covering for him.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Bob Barr was
covering for him.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Tennessee Tuxedo
was covering for him.
Some people hate Bill Clinton so much, they think Newt Gingrich
was covering for him.
...and the Freepers are so crazy, they accuse Rush of covering for him.
From: lincolnbrigade@earthlink.net
Subject: Derby Day
From: Tamara Baker
President Weak and Stupid Begs Bill to Bail Him Out of China Mess
From: dogfolks@cape.com
Subject: The Sopranos
Bart,
No Janet, and no narcoleptic religious freak,
but boy, wasn't that about
the BEST episode EVER of The Sopranos? Paulie
and Christopher are in
deep Russian doo doo! And what a treat to see
Paulie's hair in such disarray!
Only two more episodes left.
It's like trying to make your favorite tequila
last just a little longer, isn't it?
Anne
Yes, that was a damn good episode.
It was Blair Witch meets Survivor.
Is there anything funnier than Paulie when he's scared?
And who knew Paulie gets his nails done at some women's salon?
ha ha
Then Christopher said, "Who knew the Cuban
Missle Crisis was real?
I thought that was just bullshit!"
I thought I was gonna die laughing when they fought over the ketchup
packs.
Koresh, they'd been without food for what, 6 hours?
And they drew their guns on each other?
The only thing missing was talk of another Donner Party.
And since they were so afraid of freezing to death, when they got under
that carpet,
trying to stay warm, they should've had Christopher suggest they cuddle
to save
body warmth just so Paulie could say, "Get
the fuck outta here."
The writers missed that opportunity.
When Christopher started whining, Paulie told him to "stop
acting cunty."
That caused Chinaco to blow out my nose.
Meanwhile, Tony goes to visit the Russian mob boss.
(Who's best friend was the victim of a bungled hit by Paulie.)
They shared a shot of Grey Goose!
Check it out - the Russian mobsters drink French vodka?
ha ha
If I was in the Russian mob, I'd buy Grey Goose and pour
it
in a damn Stoly's bottle so the other mobsters wouldn't
call me names.
Plus, Jackie Junior may be cut into small pices if meadow tells her
dad how he disrepected her.
Sidebar:
One thing - when Paulie attacked the Russian
guy, it reminded me of President Weak & Stupid
and the way he mishandled that whole spy plane
deal. Paulie can't afford to take any shit from anybody.
He's the top button man for the top mobster in
the state. If he's dissed, he's GOT to attack.
He can't let word get out that you can tell Tony's
money collectors to fuck off and get away with it,
just like Smirk couldn't afford to bend over
and spread 'em whenever the Chi-Comms say "Boo!"
...but he did.
Also, did you notice it was directed by Steve Buscemi?
Everything Buscemi does is great. He never disappoints.
I need to watch that episode again, tonight.
This was mas fina TV.
Busting
the Bad Guys
You're not going to believe what mediawhoresonline.com
is doing to Mike Barnicle.
He deserves it.
While you're there, check out the answer to the question Who is Cynthia A. Henderson?
From: guitarjosh78@hotmail.com
Subject: What the...
You wrote:
>"If you own property in America, and it rains on it, on your land,
and if a puddle forms,
> I can almost guarantee you that some liberal, federal bureaucrat
will declare it a "wetland"
> and take your property from you without compensation."
> -- Word-for-word, from the tape of his 4/16/97 broadcast
It amazes me that Rush Limbaugh can say something
in 1997 and it can affect events
two years prior to his original statement…kind
of like how G.W. Bush is guilty for
oil companies making record profits during the
Clinton Years.
Wow, your I.Q. really is 64!
Sir, you have failed to make a valid point.
Are you saying Rush never called the feds "oppresive" prior to 4/16/97?
Are you saying there was an old Rush that thought one way,
and I shouldn't compare the old Rush to the new Rush?
Are you saying my point isn't valid because I didn't record his previous
anti-government hysterics?
The quote was meant to show how Rush can take an anthill and scream
"Rocky Mountains"
until the idiot sheep (perhaps you qualify?) believe him and buy some
ammonium nitrate.
And only Koresh knows what the second half of your garblism (homage
to W&S) meant.
If you think BIG OIL made record profits during the Clinton years,
what do you call
the 500 percent increase in profits they're making now?
Remember, domestic gas and foreign oil started rising during Smirk's
campaign,
when money was needed for him to steal the White House. Clinton was
hardly in a position
to launch investigations into BIG OIL when BIG OIL's friends had a
bought-and-paid-for Congress
and he only had 4 months left in office as a lame duck.
You, Sir, have made zero valid points, and are now dismissed.
Ari
& I
White House Press Briefing with Ari Fleischer
...at least someone is asking some questions...
A
salute to Reagan's Compassion
for
the people of Central America
In the howling wind
comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly,
a red orange glow
See the face of fear
running scared in the valley below
Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue
Bullet the blue
In the locust wind
comes a rattle and hum
Jacob wrestled the angel
and the angel was overcome
Plant a demon seed,
you raise a flower of fire
See them burning crosses,
see the flames, higher and higher
Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue
Bullet the blue
This guy comes up to me
His face red like a rose on a thorn bush
Like all the colors of a royal flush
And he's peeling off those dollar bills
Slapping them down
One hundred, two hundred, three hundred
And I can see those fighter planes
And I can see those fighter planes
Across the mud huts where the children sleep
Through the alleys of a quiet city street
Take the staircase to the first floor
Turn the key and slowly unlock the door
As a man breathes into a saxophone
Through the walls we hear the city groan
Outside it's America
Outside it's America
Across the field you see the sky ripped open
See the rain come through the gaping wound
Pounding on the women and children
Pounding on the women and children
Pounding on the women and children
...who run
...who run
...into the arms of America
From: WCR1999@aol.com
Subject: Camille Paglia
If you haven't seen this yet and need a reason
to vomit today, here it is.
A
link to the full column (from Salon), and the excerpted ugliness
below...
>> Hillary, clad in a gold, leopard-print,
full-length evening gown designed
by Oscar de la Renta (at whose villa in the Dominican
Republic the Clintons
had recently vacationed), was the beneficiary
of an insult to first lady
Laura Bush. The occasion was the swank, $3,500-a-seat
gala opening in New
York of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's exhibit
of Jacqueline Kennedy
Onassis' clothing at the Costume Institute. Mrs.
Bush wisely attended only
the cocktail party and departed before Hillary's
arrival for dinner, so
presumably she did not hear honorary chairwoman
Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg
gratuitously hailing Hillary for having "interpreted
the role of first lady for our times."
Wait a minute - it was Pickles that dissed the crowd, not the
other way around.
Pickles beat a hasty retreat because she couldn't stand being
compared to women
who are allowed to openly express their opinions without her husband's
father's
handlers telling her to shut the hell up.
Only Rush Limbaugh hit back at Caroline with the
force that she deserved.
Listening to his radio show in my car on the
way back from classes, I cheered
loudly (as at a great football play) as Limbaugh
in one of his trademark
flights of Roman oratory unleashed zinger after
zinger, climaxing in an
electrifying indictment: Caroline, charged Limbaugh,
was honoring Hillary for
imitating the depressing example of her own mother,
Jackie Kennedy, who
"looked the other way" and allowed herself to
be personally humiliated and
the White House to be profaned by the adulterous
antics of a crude philanderer.
This isn't a legitimate point.
If Newt's wife had left his adulterous ass,
If Henry Hyde's wife had left his adulterous ass,
If Bob Livingston's wife had left his adulterous ass,
If Dan Burton's wife had left his adulterous ass,
If David Shipper's wife had left his adulterous ass,
If Bob Dole's wife had left his adulterous ass,
THEN they might have the beginnings of a point, but even that
would fall short because just
think of the damage the drunken hyenas would have done to America if
they'd been able to claim,
"The president is so untrustworthy, his wife
can't even live with him."
Hillary was right to stay with Bill while he was in the White House.
What's the Republican's excuse?
Conclusion: Camille Paglia is a Limbaugh shill and a lying whore.
In Praise of Bill Clinton
is on again tonight, and
they've been having a great year.
One of my favorites is that narcoleptic religio-nut who's been
running with Janice.
He loves to ambush people with, "Have
you heard the news?"
And Tony would say, "What news?" thinking the president
had been shot or something,
and Narcoboy says, "Jesus Christ has
risen."
ha ha
Tony didn't fall for it the second time.
When Narcoboy said, "Have you heard
the news," Tony shot back with, "Yeah, I have."
Why can't he just be honest, instead of ambushing his friend's
dinner guests?
Why can't he just say, "I'm totally
consumed with religion, and you should be, too?"
Plus I love the way he drops off in mid-word.
I get a big kick out of that guy whenever he's on the screen.
And Janice - don't get me started on Janice.
Aida Turturro must be a helluvan actress, because I hated her
right from the start.
But now that she's murdered her boyfriend at the dinner table,
and was beaten up by the Russian mob,
for stealing a woman's prosthetic leg, she turned religious
and wants to burden us with her "conversion."
Now, she's funny.
Mexico Likes
Us!
by Maureen Dowd
Excerpt:
So why, only three months in, is America roiled
by all these bristly spats around the globe?
We couldn't be playing the bully boy with a heavier
hand if Pat Buchanan had won.
After complaining that Clinton foreign policy
was erratic and impulsive, the Bush team turned out
to be erratic and impulsive. The Bushies wanted
to be more muscular, but have succeeded only in
being more high-handed, infuriating allies and
rivals with moves both unilateral and pointless.
Kentucky Derby Quotes
"I knew my horse would 'splode."
-- Jorge Chavez, riding Tulsan-owned Monarchos
into
history.
Only Secretariat ran a faster Derby
Condi Loses Oil Tanker "Honor"
Excerpt:
Critics said the ship served as a giant
floating symbol of the Bush administration's cozy ties to the oil industry.
"As soon as I heard she was named to Team Smirk,
I figured they'd get out the paintbrush."
Call to Action
Have you heard about the new Janet Jackson album?
To start, the cover catches your eye like a fish hook:
If that wasn't bad enough, then there's the lyrics.
Check this out from her song - Love Scene.
Lying here
I imagine you with me
On this rainy night
As your hands move slowly
Up my thighs
You taste the honey
They begin to pour it slowly
Wherever you desire
I feel you play with my body this way
Makes me say
Ooh Baby, Ooh Baby
Ooh Baby, Ooh Baby
When you're hold me
When you're loving me
When you're fucking me
Ooh Baby, Ooh Baby
Ooh Baby, Ooh Baby
(Cold, wet cloth to my forehead...)
Can we allow this?
A great-looking superstar cooing the "F" word?
Doesn't that put our children in grave danger?
Shouldn't we get all upset and organize or something?
I, for one, don't see how this can simply be ignored.
Now that I know this, ...this filth is on her new CD,
I just feel like it's important to do something.
Maybe you can sit idly by, but I can't do nothing for
another minute.
I'm going to my family-friendly Wal-Mart right now and buy it.
From: uncledooshbag@hotmail.com
Subject: St. Agave's Birthday
How I Spent Cinco De Mayo
Not being a connoisseur, and drunk as well, I
was unable to purchase any Chinaco Anejo for the big event.
At any rate, I probably would not have been able
to appreciate its subtle charm, for I had been drinking beer
and rum all day, in a funk after my horse, Jamaican
Rum, finished an ignomious 6th in the Kentucky Derby.
Living in Louisville myself, I find the Derby
to be a collosal cluster-fuck; a nightmare of traffic and half-mad
tourists in the infield guzzling mint julips
with both hands and throwing up on one another between races.
So I said fuck the Derby, this year I am celebrating
Cinco de Mayo, because I like getting drunk,
and I used to live in Texas, and I like tacos,
and my cousins are Hispanic, which is odd because I'm white.
So I went to the local spirits store (you're
right, that is fun to say) and bought my favorite budget-level Tequila:
Margaritaville. It's smoother than Cuervo gold,
its a buck fifty cheaper a pint, and its Jimmy Buffett!
I mean come on, the guy made a living for 25
years of a song about drinking margaritas,
I am inclined to believe he knows about tequila.
ha ha
Anyway, I wake up this morning and my head feels
like a slightly overripe melon, my tongue is dry and my head
hurts where I ran into a wall while inebriated.
I am asking myself "why do you do these things to yourself?"
Then I log on and read bartcop.com
and remember "Oh Yeah, Its St. Agave's Birthday"
and that seems to make all the blunt head trauma
worth it.
Keep up the good work BC, this Shot is for you.
En Tequila es Verdad,
-Senior Doosh Bag
Right back at ya, Senior!
Why
I bombed the Murrah building
by Tim "government is the problem"
McVeigh
Excerpt:
'How do you know I don't agree with the
non-violent philosophy?
Did it ever occur to you that I mindfully
emulated the behaviour
of our government, to make a statement
in itself?
By killing me they prove who they are.
They make my point for me."
Seriously, this is partly Rush's fault.
From way back in Volume 94 - Outside, It's America
Did Rush Contribute to McVeigh's Crimes?
This, from Rush's hate radio show...
"If you own property in America, and it rains
on it, on your land, and if a puddle forms,
I can almost guarantee you that some
liberal, federal bureaucrat will declare it a "wetland"
and take your property from you without
compensation."
-- word-for-word, from the tape of his 4/16/97 broadcast
Now, you and I would hear him say that and think,
"Boy, that Rush is a funny bastard.
He's been saying crazy shit like that
for years."
Harmless fun, right?
But what do the McVeigh Republicans think when they hear crazy talk
like that?
How does the right-wing see that puddle of water?
Rush, the most honest man that ever lived, talent
on loan from God,
GUARANTEES them (do sheep even hear Rush's
"maybe" qualifier?)
that King KKKlinton is coming to steal your
land.
YOUR land.
Land your great-grandfather fought and died for.
YOUR land.
Land your father worked until he was 85 years old.
YOUR land.
Land you had hoped to pass on to your kids someday.
YOUR land.
But nooooooooooooooo.
King Klinton and Janet Reno are coming to take
it all away!
Look at the TV!
Look at the TV!
The forecast calls for RAIN!!!
The forecast calls for RAIN!!!
Stockpile the automatic weapons and ammonium
nitrate!!
So, a fellow-with-problems like Tim McVeigh agrees with Rush and Reagan
that "government is the problem."
Tim decides he's the perfect patriot to attack the "big-government
traitors" and "save" America.
He's a soldier.
He's been to war.
He's got a job to do.
McVeigh commits a horrible mass-murder, and what's Rush's reaction?
"It's not my fault."
...over and over, always, constantly
For a decade, Rush has made millions per month screaming whatever wild
horseshit
that the Freepers will pay to hear, and now he wants to cry, "It's
not my fault?"
Rush brags what an effective communicator he is.
He brags how his show is the biggest in history, and he brags that
he's "so influential,"
even to the point of taking credit for Newt's 1994 Republican revolution.
The biggest irony here is that Rush isn't even a political animal.
He doesn't care about any of this - it's all about the bank deposit.
Rush doesn't own guns.
He's not religious.
He's not deeply pro-life, he just saw the dollar signs earlier than
most.
The wilder his hate rhetoric got, the more his ratings went up.
The wilder the charge, the more rabid the response.
..and then Klinton the anti-Christ came along and launched King Freep
into orbit.
Is there anyone in broadcast history who was more in the right place
at the right time than Rush Limbaugh?
One thing is indisputable:
The dangerous right-wing fringe hangs on every disingenuous word from
his mouth.
And when they erupt in violence like we saw in Oklahoma City,
the fraudulent millionaire prophet (or is it profit?) cries, "It's
not my fault?"
Scary
talk from Shrub and the Veeper
by Molly Ivins
Excerpt:
Speaking of campaign contributions, Time
magazine reports Cheney's aides consulted
with the West Virginia coal baron Buck
Harless, a Bush pioneer (at least $100,000);
Stephen Addington of AEI Resources, whose
executives gave more than $600,000
to Republicans last election; and of course,
our old favorites Peabody Energy --
the biggest coal miner in the country --whose
chairman gave over $250,000.
Could this pay-off possibly be more obvious?
News Flash
I am such a dork.
(To many of you, this is not news.)
I just found out that when you send a donation thru PayPal, there's
room for a message, too.
I did not know that. I've never seen any of the messages that
have come in with the donations.
I'm such a dolt, dimwit, dumbshit and dork.
In the future, I will print some comments, unless they're too
gushy.
And I will list your names as you requested, which is new for
me.
Now & then I'd get semi-angry e-mail saying,
"Please list me as 'Bright Angel' instead of my real
name on your contributor's list," and I'd think,
"How was I supposed to know?" but that was when I was even more
stupider than I am now.
Sorry about that, will fix.
Star Wars Insanity
I used to tease Bill Maher about having the worst monolog in the
business.
Now, he's one of the best, especially when he goes after President
Weak & Stupid.
This is his explanation of Smirk's Star Wars fantasy.
It's 1.3 meg, so you slower bauds might cringe, but it's damn
good.
Question
Is there a rule, that if you have a site on geocities.com,
you have to have
at least a few broken links so they can stealthily slip their
ads in?
I don't think I've ever been to a geocities site that didn't have
broken links
that seemed designed to introduce you to their "wonderful" world.
Former DEA Agent on Peru Cover-Up:
"It's Bullshit!"
By Michael C. Ruppert
Excerpt:
"It's bullshit! I was in Iquitos and I flew
on those shootdown missions.
Nobody, I mean nobody, shoots
down anything unless the CIA says so."
So says retired DEA Agent Celerino Castillo,
a Bronze Star winner in
Vietnam who served as a DEA Agent in Peru
from 1982-4.
Mr. Bush
Catches a Washington Break
Or, "Whatever happened the the press's balls?"
By John F. Harris
Excerpt:
James Carville, one of the few Democrats to match
conservative zeal for combat, is frustrated by his party's timidity.
"There's a tendency not to get all gassed about
things: People just don't have the energy for it now." He is even more
disdainful of the media for not reacting more
aggressively to such things as Bush's discomfort at news conferences
and confusing statements on Taiwan that left
aides on clean-up duty. "In the Clinton administration we worried the
president would open his zipper, and in the Bush
administration, they worry the president will open his mouth," he said.
"The press finds it easier to cover sex than
stupidity."
There's a point touched on in this article.
Each time the Bush people make the outrageous claim, "We changed the
tone in Washington,"
the silly whore press echoes that lie. "They've changed the tone in
Washington."
Why don't they ask John McCain, the man branded by Team Smirk as a
"polluting, pro-cancer, back-stabbing P.O.W.
traitor" how the tone has changed?
I forget...
Is it illegitimate president or bastard president?
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
