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Bartcop.com
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Condit's
district wants to believe he's innocent
But if he's innocent, what is he hiding?
Quotes
"We strongly object to ACLU bringing
and sponsoring Clarence Thomas to Hawaii.…
Bringing Clarence Thomas sends
a message that the Hawaii ACLU promotes and
honors black Uncle Toms who turn
their back on civil rights."
-- Hawaii ACLU board member Barbee-Wooten
This is an outrage.
Clarence "Slappy" Thomas is every bit as dignified as
our president.
But wait, it gets better:
Eric Ferrer, one of the first ACLU chapter members to express
reservations about inviting
Justice Thomas, called Thomas "an anti-Christ,
a Hitler," and he compared having Thomas
discuss the merits of affirmative action to "having
a serial murderer debate the value of life."
ha ha
Are you with netauthority.org Slappy?
From: Harlanquin@aol.com
Subject: Dave!
Top 10 ways for a dumb guy to conserve energy:
#1. Become president and ignore the problem
completely.
Oh, if it wasn't so damn true, I'd still be laughing.
In truth, everyone got $300 but Thurston Howell.
He got $60,000,000.
Condit Urged Full Disclosure on Lewinsky
WASHINGTON - Rep. Gary Condit, (D-Guilty)
who is ducking press questions about
his friendship with missing intern Chandra
Levy, called in 1998 for the public airing
of every detail of then-President
Bill Clinton's affair with an intern.
"Only when we strip away the cloak of
secrecy and lay the facts on the table can we
begin to resolve this matter — honestly
and openly," the bastard wrote in a 1998 letter
to head cock-hunter Newt Gingrich, urging
full disclosure of Kenneth Starr's report.
"We owe the American people an honest
evaluation of the facts."
He was then invited to appear on CNN and
spoke at news conferences urging
full disclosure to counter what he called
"the drip-drip-drip theory."
John Stossel caught lying
again
Kids, parents tricked my manipulative right-wing liar
Excerpt:
"The questions were all entirely misleading
to evoke the responses he wanted," Neal says.
"He'd repeat questions until he got the answer
he wanted. . . . We knew we were hoodwinked."
At least one parent was told of Stossel's
role the day before, but insiders acknowledge that they don't
always tout Stossel's involvement because
he has become such a lightning rod on environmental issues.
Translation: Stossel has been caught lying so many times,
we can't associate
his name with the project or nobody will speak to us.
The vulgar Pigboy will only praise somebody who lies as much as he does.
Question
How much money would the golfing industry lose if Mr Perfect was no longer ranked Number One?
He came in 16th at the Buick open.
He didn't do much better at the U.S. Open, yet he's still
ranked Number One.
I smell a rat.
Are they going to prop him up?
Do golfers "earn" their ranking the same way Don King's boxers
do?
Remember every time Tyson was ready to knock out the Bum of the
Week,
the bum would miraclulously jump to the Top Ten, but nobody had
ever seen him fight.
This is like Britney Spears being up for a Grammy.
Anything to increase the money flow - and forget integrity.
Tiger is "too important to the game."
House OKs Rhino, Tiger Conservation
WASHINGTON (AP) - A measure renewing programs to protect rhinos and tigers passed the House Monday.
The bill, passed by a voice vote, would
reauthorize the Rhinoceros and Tiger Conservation Act and allow the
Interior Department to spend up to $10
million annually on international efforts to protect the animals.
Now, if we could only get Norman Schwartzkopf and Bush Senior
to stop flying to Africa to shoot caged, endangered animals.
........
Please don't let Bush & Norm kill us.
Three quotes from the "Isn't religion wonderful?" department
"I wish I had done the bombing. My son
has fulfilled the Prophet Mohammed's wishes.
He has become a hero. Tell me,
what more could a father ask?"
-- Hassan Hotari, on the news his son killed 21
Israelis with a suicide attack.
"I will make my body a bomb that will
blast the flesh of the Zionists, the sons of pigs and monkeys.
I will tear their bodies
into little pieces and cause them more pain than they will ever know."
-- an eleven year old Hamas student
"You don't start educating a shaheed
at age 22. You start at kindergarden so by the time he's 22,
he's looking for an opportunity
to sacrifice his life."
-- Terrorism expert.
Y'know, if these kids were raised on logic and reason, they would
be told when they die,
their brain will shut off and they will never again have
another thought.
Telling these crackpots that there's a great reward waiting
for them is just insanity at its clearest.
Hey, I have a quote of my own:
"You must not act they way you were
brought up."
-- Joe Strummer, The Call Up,
LINCOLN, Neb. (Reuters) - A Nebraska attorney
and former state legislator, who
said he represents a group of Vietnamese,
on Thursday threatened to sue Bob Kerrey
over his revelation that he led a 1969
military raid that killed 21 Vietnamese women and children.
Project
60
What happened sixty years ago today?
President Moron is showing his idea of "Honor and dignity"
for the flag of the United States of America.
Quotes
"Sue, sue, sue. That's not the answer."
-- Trent on Lott (R-White sheets) explaining how the GOP
wants to help families.
Gee, Trent, when Paula Jones was knob gobblin',
you guys kept screaming about "her right
to a day in court."
But if some greedy-ass HMO takes your money and refuses to cover
your medical expenses,
suddenly you change your tune and say,
"Lawsuits are not the answer?"
You mean lawsuits are the answer only when it involves Clinton's zipper?
You're a whore, Trent.
Now get outta here.
Report: Bush Neutral on China Olympics
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Bush administration
has decided to remain neutral on China's
bid to host the 2008 Olympics, The Washington
Post reported.
Citing unnamed officials, the paper said
in Monday's editions that the administration hopes a
neutral position will help defuse an issue
China has called an emotional one for its people.
It quoted a senior State Department official
as saying awarding the games to China might be
``a powerful but intangible incentive''
for China to improve its human rights performance and
to exercise restraint toward Taiwan.
For all we know, President Weak & Stupid conceded the Olympics
to China
to get our spy plane back. We have no idea what secret deals
the First Moron
made with China, because the Democrats are too afraid to ask.
...son of a bitch.
From: jhardin@sbc-adv.com
Subject: Listening to the porkmeister
With nothing better to do yesterday, I tuned into
Der Schweinmeister's show.
None of his BS was particularly noteworthy (except
for the part where he said he
never attacked John McCain's character), but
I was amused at the first commercial break.
One of the last, short ads was a from a local
theater announcing their run of "The Best Little
Whorehouse in Texas." I was struck by the supreme
irony of the Rush Limbaugh show being
supported by a play featuring an obnoxious, hypocritical
media moralizer who makes whores
look virtuous by comparison. Perhaps the theater
is hoping to lure in the assorted liberals and
Limbaugh haters who tune in to the show...
Jwh
PS: Everybody ought to go to spillmagic.com
and leave a comment that they would use
Spill Magic if
it weren't advertised on Rush Limbaugh's hate radio program.
Do they read bartcop.com in Dakota?
BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) - North Dakotans can't
move their state to warmer climes,
but some hope a proposed name change will
at least help the state seem a little less northern.
The Greater North Dakota Association, the
state's chamber of commerce, is backing
a proposal to cut the state's name to ``Dakota.''
Supporters insist the plan would help alter
the state's image as a frigid, treeless prairie.
That's my gift to you, Dakota.
No need to thank me.
From: KEYSAL@aol.com
Subject: David Horowitz and women on the Aurora whatever it is
You wrote:
>"During the Gulf War, women in the armed services failed to report
to combat
> duty at rates many multiples that of men. When you don't show up
for your combat
> assignment you are effectively sabotaging existing battle plans.
On one ship,
> the Aurora, 10 percent of the women en route to the war zone
got pregnant."
> -- David Horowitz, (R-GothisasskickedbyJoeConason)
Ok this quote set off my BS alarm system so I
thought I would research it for
fun. My first impression of his quote was that
perhaps there were 10 women
who served on the USS Aurora and perhaps one
got pregnant en route to the war
zone then yes 10 percent of the female crew "sabotaged
the battle plan." So i
decided to look up the crew compliment of this
ship to see.
I did a google search for USS Aurora. I was flooded
with Star Trek related
sites and topics. Ok so I upped the search with
USS Aurora Persian Gulf. I
assumed that would make it specific enough.
Nope nothing.
Not even a reference to any USS Aurora navy vessel.
The closest to an
"Aurora" mentioned with the US navy is an "Aurora
class" submarine. But women
are not allowed to serve on Submarines, so it
cannot be on a sub.
There is an Aurora that is some secret plane. Nope he says its a ship.
Lieutenant Comander Scott Carpenter piloted Aurora
7 space capsule, but nope
that can't be it, way before the Persian Gulf
war.
I found an Aurora Russian navy cruiser. Is this
the ship he is referring to?
I did a search on the Navy's official web site
for an Aurora and found no
references to this ship. All it returned were
health insurance news.
Is the Navy secretly ashamed of this ship and does not wish to acknowledge its existence?
So where is this mysterious navy ship Mr. Horowitz
refers to in his quote?
Is this some old Star Trek episode that he watched
while half asleep?
Steve
Steve,
Click Here for his entire column
You know this is meant for the vulgar Pigboy...
McCain on Dave
Damn, Dave's giving McCain the red carpet hero treatment.
Before introducing him, Dave ran thru a list of medals McCain
earned.
That was impressive.
Dave: How was that dinner with President Bush?
McCain: Very nice, it was the president
and me and our wives and the two food tasters...
ha ha
McCain knows the real Bush family, doesn't he?
The questions have been softball city.
Maybe, like with Gore and Smirk, Dave'll toughen up this next
segment.
Remember when Dave was thr ONLY media person to ask Smirk
a follow up question?
The entire press laid down for the moron and I still don't understand.
Why should Letterman and Jon Stewart have to ask the tough questions?
Where the hell is the press?
...and why should small websites have to do all the fighting against the Failure in Thief?
Where the hell are the Democrats?
Cheney
to GAO: Drop Dead
Corrupt VP Refuses To List His Energy Partners in Crime
"I'm too important to bother with legalities," quotes one source.
Reagan Memorial Suggestions
From: Rev. Don
After Anne's suggestion, I can only picture
a titanic statue of the Great Communicator with his
fingers in his ears, eyes closed tight,
and his modest willy hanging out of his trousers to serve as
a fountain, raining down perpetually on
little statues of children, the poor, and wildlife
--the simplest, most graphic demonstration
of "trickle down" policies.
From: dewey_cheat@yahoo.com
Subject: Run for the Senate you coward
Bartcop.com is looking for a Democrat to
run against Senator Don Nickels of Okla.
(Since he to much of a coward to run himself.
Believe me , I know him better than anybody)
As Tim Russert pointed out, 1/3 of Nickles's
constituents will get nothing
from the Bush Tax Cut he championed thru
the Senate.
These poeple deserve to be represented,
so this fall, when all the $300 rebate checks are out,
we could hold a rally, in Tulsa, for all
those who did not get a check. We will give them a $300
Rain Check good for a Rebate when Democrats
retake the Congress in 2002.
If Democrats across the country will adopt
this strategy, they will win easily.
Just like the Bartcop Tax Plan, this is
the winning strategy for 2002.
They didn't adopt the Bartcop Tax Plan in
total and got crushed.
They had better wake up and listen.
Except for the creepy stalker tone, that's a pretty good e-mail.
...Senator BartCop?
I'll do it if it means I can be on Meet the Press
with that prick Russert.
I can see the headline now...
"Junior Oklahoma senator bitch-slaps Russert on live television"
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
Reproductive Shame
Reagan Memorial Suggestions
From: Rellis
I suggest going to the center of the state and
digging a huge pit.
Once it's good and deep, we can start tossing
all our money into it.
Then we can blame the fact that we have no money
all on the liberals.
ha ha
We're having a one-third off sale on mouse pads at the bartcop.com store.
ha ha
...because everyone needs a BartCop mouse pad.
Who is this?
It's someone you know very well.
From: chapmantom@home.com
Subject: Dennis Miller
I haven't watched Dennis Miller in a couple years
-- ever since he landed
the gig as buffoon on Monday Night Football and
I became weary of tuning
in his HBO show, only to find it to be a rerun,
or a rerun of a rerun.
However, I still liked the guy. But after
watching his show last night
for the first time in a long while, I was shocked
to find the former bad
boy looking like Richard Nixon in an Armani suit
and sounding like Bill
O'Reilly at a Freeper convention. AND --
completely self-obsessed!
Now I understand why Bartcop has been ragging
on him lately, and I agree 100%.
Keep up the good work.
Chango
Vatican Men in Black
I just watched the movie Stigmata, with Gabriel Byrne and
Patricia Arquette.
It's currently running on Showtime, so skip this if you
don't want the secrets spilled.
First, I want to assure you I had nothing to do with writing
this film.
I say that because they addressed my oft-stated belief that Churches
exist to make money.
(If you don't know what stigmata means, it's when your
body takes on the physical bad news
of being nailed to the cross. Your hands and feet squirt blood
like a Bridgewater Bandit and
your scalp gets all scratched up from your crown of thorns.
Oh, that lance in the side is a bitch, too.
Poor Patty Arquette has a half-dozen of these wacky God attacks.)
They said the church won't help you if you're not a true believer.
So I told Mrs. BartCop that if that ever happens to me, find
a Catholic church and
tell those priests I'm as sincere as a Knuckledrag eskimoe (homage
DQ) can be.
The movie reminded me a lot of The Exorcist, with many
of the same problems - the rules.
It also had that Godfather III flavor, where the priests
are murdering scum.
They discover an original Aramaic scroll that may have been in
Christ's own handwriting.
Christ, himself, said, "You don't need
a church between you and God."
Well, ...that message puts the Catholic money-making machine
in jeopardy, and we can't have that.
Remember - if it wasn't for the collection plate, you could worship
in your own home.
So the murdering priests have to kill everyone who has read Christ's
original writings.
Sidebar:
In the closing credits, it said a scroll
from Christ's time was found in 1945,
but the Church dismissed it as "heresy."
Spooky stuff, especially if you have that Catholic start-up disk in your brain.
One thing they did exactly right:
When it really counted, the priest displayed some faith, unlike
The Exorcist, when the priests cowered
in fear like they were Senate democrats whenever things got a
little dicey. This time, the priest walked
into the fire, confident that his faith would protect him - that's
my definition of faith.
It was a damn good movie, but the critics hated it so much, we
never bothered to watch it.
Screw the critics.
If you see Stigmata on your schedule, check it out.
Natalie
— When 'All Sound Stopped'
by Sherryl Connelly
NY Daily News Feature Writer
Excerpt:
Twenty years after Natalie Wood drowned,
the circumstances of her
death are still a mystery. It seems likely,
though, that the former child star,
a woman adored throughout her life as the
epitome of Hollywood glamour,
died somewhat drunk and certainly disoriented.
The Hex Continues
Tiger Woo__, caught openly weeping after
another shank.
Woo__ had to chase several balls into
the crowd at the Buick Open.
For the second straight week, Woods was not a factor, tying for
16th at
4-under 280 after an even-par 71. He has failed to crack the
top 10 in
consecutive events for the first time since April 1999.
"Every hole in general hurt me this week,"Woods
said.
"I will be honest, I didn't really hit the
ball all that good.
"You can't play good every week. I tried on
every shot.
It just wasn't there. It's like there's
a hex on me, or something."
The whore press again
We're getting all the big stories
The Houston lady who killed her kids,
Sharon Stone's husband bitten by a lizard,
The big California lottery winner,
...all the things we need to know.
But,
...those kids are dead and it's a tragedy so move on.
...who gives a damn about Sharon Stone's billionaire husband's
toe?
...the lottery winner won't give us any money, so who cares?
Meanwhile,
Gary Condit says, "I'd rather not say," when,
for all we know,
he could have this woman tied up in a cabin in the Sierra Madres.
Get him under oath.
Ask him if he's ever had sex with ...that woman, ...Ms. Levy.
Hell, I think the poor woman is dead, but what if Condit is sitting
on her?
Wouldn't we all find her sooner, rather than later?
The whore press.
...and where is the Robert Blake coverage?
I don't want a damn circus, I just want news of an arrest and
a "police are confident,"
Sidebar within a sentence:
This is the Los Angeles police department.
- The department that flubbed the conviction
of the Menendez brothers, with their confessions in-hand,
- The department that went & collected blood
from O.J. then couldn't account for it afterwards.
- The department that said Sirhan was the only
shooter when there were additional, unexplained,
different caliber slugs in the pantry
walls when it was all over,
- The department that beat Rodney King stupid,
(no easy feat)
- The department that can't figure out who could've
possibly have had Tupac and Biggie Smalls shot.
Gee, the suspect list is sooooooooo
long...
- And now they can't find a motive between a
married congressman who refuses to answer questions
and his presumed-dead girlfriend,
who called him 50 times in the last 30 days before her ...murder.
- Thank Koresh Bugliosi got Manson behind bars
before the LAPD turned into incompetent whores.
I think it's time Condit held a press conference and let the facts come out.
The LA police department is such a joke,
and we haven't even touched Rampart Division,
where robbery, drugs, murder and framing
the innocent were the norm for years.
...so we can get past that salacious horsehit, that's standard for this whore press.
Christ - with Blake and Levy, we have homicides.
Is it too much to ask for some coverage of the homicides?
Can we get passed the "What dressing does
Jerry Seinfeld like on his salad?"
to "When did you last meet with the
homicide victim?"
Murder?
We don't care too much.
It's not important.
Clinton's zipper, and crap like it?
24/7
Egan's
Too Secretive On Priestly Predators
by Dick Ryan
Excerpt:
Sexual abuse by priests has emerged as
a scandal in the Catholic Church during
the last decade. Many Catholics are equally
troubled by the perception that Catholic
leaders prefer to muffle the problem in
a blur of denial, church-speak and silence.
...perception?
Lott in
denial about Daschle
Denial And Demands
By Mary McGrory
Excerpt:
Bush does not set a particularly good example
in the realm of facing reality.
[After the "I love Putin gaffe] the right wing
closed ranks: House Majority Leader Dick Armey,
a hard-liner, said gamely that he believed in
being "warm and welcoming" to all Russians.
Finally, the shocked silence on the far right
was shattered by a howl from Sen. Jesse Helms.
He reproached Bush for "an excessively personal
endorsement."
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
