Savannah, GA— In a press conference today, Stephen Sacco, who a few months ago
declared himself the King of Israel and Rightful Ruler of All Palestine,  announced that
Bartcop.com’s JulieFest was an "unequivocal success in every way imaginable."
He further went on to declare, "All the credit for the success of the evening
belongs totally and completely to me."

In his prepared statement he confirmed that, "Too many world leaders, who will remain
nameless, called George W. Bush, Yassar Arafat and Ariel Sharon, fail to take full and
complete responsibility for their actions.  I, on the other hand, gladly take full and complete
credit for the success  of JulieFest.  And I do so magnanimously, if I say so myself, and indeed I do."

Later, Mr. Sacco was grilled by reporters (well, reporter really, one Willard T. Smirkel
who writes for the Southside Elementary School Gazette -- Bartcop.com  was too hung over
to send somebody but I digress) and asked to specify exactly what he did to make JulieFest
such a wonderful event.  "I showed up and emanated my royal presence through the room,"
Mr. Sacco insisted.  Apparently, the more the King of Israel and Rightful Ruler of All Palestine
had to drink that night the more he emanated his royal presence. By the end of the evening he
was emanating so much royal presence that he was escorted from the building by security.
"At the end of the evening," said the King, "I was so inspired by the crowd, I went back to
the hotel  room  and called Chairman Arafat and Prime Minister Sharon and demanded the
return of my land."

Aides to both Mr. Arafat and Mr. Sharon confirm that Mr. Sacco did place a call to each
of them that night, at 2:47 AM and 2:52 AM, respectively, but Mr. Sacco, instead of demanding
his restoration to power, asked Mr. Arafat and Mr. Sharon if they had Prince Albert in a can.

When pressed to comment on Julie Hiatt Steele herself, the King said "Who?"
When reminded about Ms. Steele’s plight while pursuing the cause of honesty and
justice the King became tearful. "Yeah, her.  But what about my needs?  It’s always
Ken Starr this.  President Clinton that.  When do I get to be investigated by the OIC?"

Sources in the Justice Department say that the King may get his wish.John Ashcroft is
considering indicting Mr. Sacco for stupidity.  The White House may nix this plan,
however, taking into consideration that if they start indicting people for stupidity,
there would be nobody left to run the Bush administration.

Mr. Sacco did mention that he enjoyed meeting Bartcop, "He didn’t look anything
like I thought he would," the King said.  "I mean, who’d have thought Bartcop was
a 6’ 5"  Samoan drag queen with a lisp?"

The King ended the press conference by complaining that "Some tall bald guy got
a lot of attention at this event.  Obviously people were confusing him for me.
I just wanted to set the record straight: I’m not bald."
 
 

While there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that anything in this article is true,
on a more serious note it is nice to know that there are people who appreciate
what Ms. Steele did, what she endured and continues to endure as a result of
the OIC’s harrassment.  Let us hope that the good will of the members of our
online community who attended JulieFest, and those who were there in spirit,
will be of some solace to her.  However, let us not forget that Ms. Steele
already has the greatest comfort of all: She gets to put her head down on
her pillow every night knowing she did the right thing.