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Seven days left for Julie Hiatt Steele From: Tamara Baker
Julie Hiatt Steele
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Who's going to Hell this week?
http://sites.netscape.net/gossipfromhell/
From: (withheld)
Man, I'm freaked about the death of Hatfield.
We have to add his name to a
long line of mysterious deaths surrounding
the Bush family. If you ask me,
a murder of a second-level journalist -
who was getting too close - is nothing
compared to stealing an election, especially
when you have a family so deeply
immersed in CIA tactics and black operations.
No doubt Hatfield's death is
going to cause some people to re-think
things or recoil in fear, which would be
just what the Bush's want.
It's a warning.
It's a lesson.
Don't look too closely.
You might just lose your head.
It is really sad to see what's happening
to this country. But if you look back,
the Republicans have been pulling this
shit for years. They killed JFK - in my opinion,
Nixon sabotaged the settlement of the Vietnam
War, sabotaged his opponents
for President, Reagan/Bush pulled the October
Surprise on Carter, Iran-Contra,
they packed the Supreme Court, all culminating
in the installation of Bush in 2000.
We're fucked.
And our Democratic leaders just kinda sit
there, making speeches. I would not
doubt that some of them are being blackmailed
by the Bush Crime Family.)
Well put, I just had to print it.
'Sopranos' gets top honors from critics
PASADENA, Calif. (AP) - "The Sopranos" was named program of the
year by the
Television Critics Association Saturday and tied with "The West
Wing" for top drama honors.
Sid Caesar, who set the benchmark for TV comedy with "Your Show
of Shows" in the 1950s,
received a career achievement award from the critics' group.
Acting honors went to "The Sopranos"
star James Gandolfini and to Jane Kaczmarek of Fox's "Malcolm
in the Middle," which was chosen
as the outstanding comedy. The WB's "Gilmore Girls" was named
best new program.
HBO's "The Sopranos" and NBC's "The West Wing" will compete for
the best drama award at the
Emmy ceremony Sept. 16. "Malcolm in the Middle" also is an Emmy
nominee. The 17th annual TCA
Awards ceremony at the Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel was held
during the group's annual summer meeting.
FOX
Whore news & LEVY
by Tally Briggs
Snail Mail
From: (withheld)
Bart,
I cancelled my cable access and bought a
set of rabbit ears.
Here's part of the money I saved. (Enclosed
check)
But it's not only money I saved, it's also
my sanity.
No more O'Reilly, Hannity, Coulter and
the "fair and balanced" cabal.
TV and cable networks depend on advertising
revenues.
If a couple of million households cabcelled
their cable access for a year we could
drive the whole Taliban out of business.
All the moaning and groaning about the
unfairness won't change a thing. The only
thing these people understand is money
Thanks for being there,
Los Angelino
Thanks for that.
It was a very generous gift.
Murder in Small Town X
Where's Jessica Fletcher when you need her?
Like an old episode of "Murder, She Wrote,"
there's a serial killer stalking a peaceful hamlet in Maine
in the new Fox series "Murder in Small
Town X." The crimes, of course, are fictional - but this time,
the detectives are real people. Or rather,
real contestants.
"Murder in Small Town X," which will have its
premiere at 9 p.m. Tuesday on Fox, takes the Clue board
game and sets it to shaky video a
la "The Blair Witch Project" with a rulebook inspired by ABC's
"The Mole." (Fox didn't supply a full hour
episode to critics, just the murder scene.)
In the next few weeks the 10 players will
quiz the suspects, played by nearly two dozen improvisational actors.
(There is a "General Hayden" among the
cast of characters, but no Colonel Mustard.) The players will work
with a real-life crime investigator to
figure out whodunit. Each episode ends, inevitably, with one contestant
being eliminated - and if you've been watching
the promos on Fox, you know that won't be pretty.
This happens tomorrow night.
Let's watch the first one. If it blows, it blows.
But if it doesn't, we could play along
and whoever unmasks the killer first gets a Corvette!
Whay other website gives away Corvettes?
Quotes
"I know what I believe. I will continue
to articulate what I believe
and what I believe -- I
believe what I believe is right."
-- President Weak & Stupid
Think this quote is so nutty it has to be a gag?
Genoa says the visit by the Mensa Kid will cost them $45,000,000.
Let that me an omen for any city who wants to host the Failure in Thief
The
McLaughlin Group's Michael Barone, who is almost
as stupid
as Cokie Roberts, (well, I'm sorry, that's a lie - nobody
in DC is as stupid as Cokie Roberts)
Michael Barone said this on McLaughlin this weekend.
"Instead of concentrating on CO2 and
the ozone layer, we should
be looking at elimination the
methane problem, which is much cheaper."
Mikey, let me ask you a question:
If you have a termite problem in your home, but the exterminator
tells you
it would be cheaper to concentrate on eliminating the
ants, what would you do?
...I could be wrong.
Barone might be almost as stupid as Cokie the Whore.
Help Wanted
And, for the first time, I may be willing
to pay.
I need a tech-savvy person for a short assignment, probably about
3 hours of work.
The Store that sells the bartcop.com stuff is now selling baseball caps,
Sidebar:
What could be more cool than a
bartcop.com baseball cap?
...tank tops, Gilligan hats, (can't live without one of those)
boxer
shorts (a Clinton special)
and tote bags that are suitable for transporting drugs, small
dogs or infants.
They even sell wife-beater t-shirts that we can put BILL BENNETT's picture on!
ha ha
A shirt with a picture of Bill Bennett saying "I beat my wife" would be great!
Back to business...
Because of the sensitive nature of the job, it'll have to be
someone I know.
If you write and say, "I've been reading
for years, but never wrote till now,"
you could be a crazed Freeper and I can't take the chance.
You'd have to know a little bit about graphics and html, but not
a whole lot.
Put it this way: If your page is snappier than mine (ha
ha) you'll do.
So, if you're a good friend to bartcop.com
and we've talked before,
(the more times we talked, the easier I'll feel about giving
you the car keys)
send me some e-mail so we can attempt to update the bartcop.com
store.
ALSO:
We need new and better slogans for the stuff.
Truth be known, I haven't had a chance to look into the sales
reports to see
what's selling and what's not selling. I know some people like
a shirt that says
"BUCK
FUSH" and some other people wouldn't wear it if
it was free,
even if they dislike the Failure in Thief as much as I
do because it's just too much.
So we need slogans for the new and old merchandise - any ideas?
Surely "Strategery" should be in there somewhere, and
"Make
the Pie Higher," too.
I know, we could put Smirk's dumbest quotes on twenty different
shirts - collect them all!
But we'd have to rotate those every thirty days or so.
And - come to think of it, the Store Manager position could
be permanant.
We could probably sell more stuff if we rotated the slogans
and pictures.
I got a check for $66
from The Store, so
I'm all excited about it being a big moneymaker.
If I could get a check ten times that amount every week, I could
quit my job and expand the
scope and hammersize of bartcop.com
So - send me slogans (put slogan in the subject line) and if you're
a good friend of bartcop.com
and want to be Store Manager, send me some e-mail.
Quotes
"So I would like to remind you: Most
of us in America believe in judging people by
the content of their character,
not by the color of their skin. Those are words uttered by
the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther
King and most of us in America believe them.
Apparently a small minority of
bigots left in this country still don't get it."
-- the vulgar Pigboy, from his website
Yes, and that small minority of bigots is the Republican Party.
Rush, tell us why your party WILL NOT elect a black man.
Tell us why there are no black senators and just one (partially)
black congressmen.
Why won't the GOP vote for a black person, Rush?
Is it because there are no blacks with good character?
Is that what you meany to say?
I think it is...
You said you judge people NOT by the color of their skin,
so that must mean there are NO BLACKS of character,
since your party only votes for white people.
Could you explain that to us, since you know everything?
This just in from the G8 Summit in Italy...
Oh, they love Smirk in Italy like they do in Sweden.
Truncheons rained down on me in the Battle of Genoa
http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/Sunday-Times/frontpage. html?999
Excerpt:
Since I had joined a band of demonstrators
as an undercover reporter perhaps it was not surprising.
Two policemen dragged me along the ground,
shouted at me in Italian and then hit me some more.
My cycling helmet disintegrated under their
blows. Truncheons whacked my back, arms and shins.
They dragged me over railway lines towards
a signal box where I was ordered to put my head on a steel rail.
I tried to obey, unable to believe this
was happening.
Gripped by fresh impulses of violence,
they started kicking my head, back and legs.
Repeatedly they pushed me to the ground
for a fresh pasting.
Then I was roughly pulled up on to my feet.
Police took turns to yell abuse while one cuffed my hands
behind my back and frog-marched me down
the track to the railway station.
I was overjoyed when a senior officer walked
past and said something like:
"Resisting arrest with violence. Take him
to the station."
Because Weak & Stupid has screwed up everything,
this is how America's leader is received by our allies.
Is this the "honor and dignity" the Boy King promised in his fraud campaign?
Our enemies have heightened suspicions, our friends don't
trust
us anymore.
They know the Bush Family Evil Empire
is in it for personal wealth,
and screw all those treaties, the economy, the environment and
everything else.
Meanwhile, where's the best and brightest America has to offer?
"...two on and nobody out,
Alex Rodriguez
takes
ball two, high and inside..."
All Hat - No Cattle: European Version
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A32235-2001Jul21.html
GENOA, Italy, July 21 Just before a 40-minute
meeting with German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder
Weak & Stupid told reporters they would
discuss U.S. plans for alleviating global warming and have
"a very honest and open dialogue"
about arms control.
But when Bush got behind closed doors, global
warming never came up, and the two leaders had
no substantive discussion about the missile
defense system that Bush wants to build.
From: ScottDavs@aol.com
Subject: Ask the right questions about Hatfield.
Once again, the press asks the wrong questions about the Hatfield suicide.
The question is not, whether there is a direct
Bush connection in his death,
so that it would be murder, not suicide.
The right questions are:
Did Rove feed Hatfield information about Bush's
cocaine use and convictions?
Did Rove know this information to be true?
Did Rove leak the information because he
knew he could discredit Hatfield and with it the information?
Did Rove fear the information in the hands of
credible journalists, so he funnelled it to this discreditable source?
Did Rove then discredit this source, leading
to the distress and despair of Hatfield?
Did Rove create, at least in part, the kind of
life for Hatfield that Hatfield felt life was no longer worth living?
And, finally, why does Bush have such a man as
Rove, a man without a moral compass, as one of his closest advisors?
These are the questions the press should be asking
about this sad incident.
My last email from Hatfield was about
how proud he was of the new information in the
second edition of Fortunate Son, and how the
Bush's were certain to dislike the revelations therein.
Scott
Shhhh...
This is a secret.
Florida Bar Clears Hugh Rodham
Hugh Rodham did not violate
ethics rules by lobbying President Clinton for clemency
for two clients convicted
of felonies, the Florida Bar has ruled.
The bar's grievance committee
found insufficient evidence to file a complaint against Rodham,
saying he did not violate
any ethics rules.
Mr. Rove doesn't want this news to get out
Shhhh...
Rolling Stone Magazine in Trouble
I guess they need to sell magazines REAL bad, calling this
quintet of Bobby Sherman clones the biggest "band" in the world.
They aren't even a band.
A band plays music.
They guys don't play anything.
They stand there and look good for 10-year old girls.
Like Smirk, they don't even have identities.
They're pre-programmed to follow a script every day of their lives.
Unlike almost every other "band" in the world, these guys are told what
to wear,
how to cut their hair, which ear to pierce and what to say to teen
mag interviewers.
This is Madison Avenue's guess what happens when you cross rock with
Twinkies,
and it's the exact opposite of what real rock n roll is supposed
to be.
These guys are no different than New Kids on the Block or Menudo
or Backstreet Boys
or whatever other teen groups are out there, hosing the kids who don't
know any better.
Don't get me wrong - I realize kids need idols, too. But what the hell
is a once-respected
magazine like Rolling Stone doing, fawning over these cookie-cutter
fakes and calling them "a band?"
Not only "a band," but, "the
biggest band in the world?"
These kids (the band, not the fans) are told to get onstage, get in
some silly-ass military-style formation,
then take two steps forward, then look to the left, then take a step
to the right, then lift their arms on the upbeat,
then take one step to the right, then cast a loving gaze to make the
pre-pimplers squeal with pre-pubescent delight
while their management (who's no doubt screwing them financially) rakes
in hundreds of millions of unearned
dollars like he was a member of the Bush
Family Evil Empire.
Besides, USAToday said their crowds are shrinking ...and they'd
never lie, right?
(cough)
Attendance is down 50 percent, and they're still the biggest?
Looks like they're dropping like a rock.
Mark my words, in two years, they'll be on VH-1's Behind the Scenes
some Saturday afternoon,
whining about what a joke they were and how badly they got screwed
Biggest band in the world?
They aren't even a band.
A band plays music.
Letter to the Tulsa World TV Answerman
Question: How could "The
Daily Show" win an award for excellence for it's coverage
of the presidential election? It's a
comedy show, and Jon Stewert is a comedian.
Answer: The people who hand out the George Foster
Peabody awards for broadcast
excellence apparently decided Comedy Central's "The Daily
Show" with it's "Indecision 2000,"
had more realistic election coverage than the clowns on the
network news shows.
...and who can argue with that?
The G7.5 Summit
Thanks to Dewey
From: withheld
Dear Bartcop,
Please don't refer people to Amazon.com to buy
ANYTHING. They have an "Associates" advertising
relationship with "dr." laura.com, in direct
violation of their own policy concerning web sites that are
unacceptable to advertise on. An excerpt
of the policy follows:
"Sites that Do Not Qualify for the Amazon.com Associates Program include:
* Sites that promote sexually explicit material
* Sites that promote violence
* Sites that promote discrimination based on
race, sex, religion,
national origin, physical disability,
sexual orientation or age
* Sites that promote illegal activities
* Sites that violate intellectual property rights"
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how "dr." laura feels about homosexuality,
You can order Fortunate Son by James
Hatfield from bn.com
(Barnes and Noble), instead.
I have been ordering books, CDs, VHS and
DVDs from them for about four years.
They have never failed to have what I was
looking for, and their service is top notch.
I highly recommend them.
Thanks for your attention.
I understand what you're saying, but Amazon.com is one of the
few internet businesses
who has agreed to do business with me - at least they have in
the past.
I will consider the options and make a decision.
In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to buy Hatfield's Fortunate Son from bn.com
Hatfield, and Rove and Son
Help
is on the way!!!
Isn't
that what he promised?
Men in uniform get big screwing at hands of President Weak & Stupid
http://www.nctimes.com/news/2001/20010721/51639.html
Excerpt:
Liza Grady, the wife of a Camp Pendleton
Marine, opened a letter this week expecting
to read about the $600 tax rebate owed
to her and promised by Bush.
Instead, the IRS told her that she and her family will get just
"This is wrong," Grady said Thursday.
"Sixty-nine dollars does not
relieve me of anything."
Wrong, Honey.
That tax cut is relieving Americans from their economic stability.
The Bush Family Evil Empire
needs hundreds of millions more to expand their power
Who in the hell did you THINK was going to pad the pockets
of BIG OIL?
Admit it - you voted for Bush, maybe twice.
Remember, Mrs. Grady, the BartCop Tax Plan would've given you
and that was a guarantee, not a promise from an appointed Weak
& Stupid boy king.
Tell me, Mrs. Grady, which would've been better for you and your
family?
Smirky's $69 or BartCop's $3000?
From: brew@thedailybrew.com
Subject: Julie Hyatt Steele and Tax Refund Checks
One possible thing you might with to
suggest that Bartcop readers might
consider doing with their tax refund
checks is sending them to Julie Hyatt Steele.
brew
Brew, I think that's an excellent suggestion.
Click Here for the snail address and to contribute online.
You can contribute to her legal fund OR her personal fund, but,
I'll bet her lawyers know where they'll be sleeping next week.
Which beer is better?
European Beer or Bush
Beer?
Bono - Our
Last, Best Hope For Freedom?
by R.B. Ham
From: dogfolks@cape.com
Subject: Julie Hyatt Steele & Barbara Streisand....
C'mon Bart, you're the one with all the
JUICE these days!
Can't you get these two gals together,
so Barbara can get Julie a radio show,
and Julie can serve as the anti-venom to
Pigbutt, and Gordon Lie-dy, and their ilk,
and then she can make $250 million, and
get her house back?
C'mmmmmon!!!
Anne, Julie is too good for radio.
I, however, am not.
I'd do the seven years for $2.5 million and buy Julie a house myself.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.