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Bartcop.com
"I know: 'Guns Don't Kill People.' But
I suspect that they have something to do with it.
If you point your finger at someone
and say, 'Bang, bang, you're dead,' not much actually happens."
--Molly Ivins
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"If I was a cat, I'd say 'Thank you'
when it was time to go to the vet."
-- Pigboy, opening the second hour with interesting insights
into his current medical condition.
U.S.
Job Seekers Finding Difficult Times
You never saw headlines like that until Smirk promised to
"change the direction this nation is
heading."
Excerpt:
Kevin Harrington has recruited for a San
Francisco placement agency for ten years,
and he cannot remember the climate being
worse for job seekers.
The agency has stopped interviewing for
summer employment, because it already has books
filled with names of applicants who cannot
be placed. Harrington said that the job market,
which has been slowing since December,
has crumbled in just the last few weeks.
I'm here to increase oil
profits,
not to help the little
people.
Rules
of Engagement feedback
by Shaun McElhenny
Today in History
On July
30, 1975: Jimmy Hoffa went to lunch in suburban Detroit.
His doggy bag has never been
found.
In 1945:
During World War II, the USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine.
Out of 1,196 men, 880 did not survive
the shark-infested waters.
With my limited knowledge of World War II,
I know the two darkest stories were Bataan and the Indianapolis.
I hope David at Project 60 does specials on both when the time comes.
From: TheTruthIs@aol.com
Subject: Does Gore + Nader = win?
I didn't expect as much E-mail
as I got for writing "Greens Aren't the Problem"
but it was a pleasant surprise. First I must
compliment you on the caliber of your readers.
They are an intelligent and articulate group,
and down to the last polite, even those who disagreed.
ha ha
That's never happened before...
The problem then is with the Democratic
party and Gore. Why does an
articulate well educated man who just finished
CO-chairing 8 years of
unprecedented economic growth end up in a dead
heat with a moron?
Wait a minute - YOU and the Greens chose Bush over Gore.
YOU and the Greens voted for the moron, not the Democrats.
You just answered your own question.
Of course all this acrobatic vote switching, besides
making me feel good,
really did nothing for the final outcome. That
final outcome rested entirely
on the Democratic party and their weak candidate.
Gary
One thing tho, you've lost your right to complain.
If we lose Roe v Wade, or Smirk starts drilling Alaska, or gas goes
to $3 a gallon
when Condit costs us the House next year, you'll have to remain silent
because
YOU and the Greens could've chosen Gore but you chose the moron, instead.
Help with the fight - support bartcop.com
Vic the Racist
I don't think I've mentioned this before, but Vic is almost a
world-class cook.
He's a big fan of Emeril Lagasse, and he's got all the
spices and all the tools.
He has three Hasty Bake ovens, 
and he cooks constantly.
He's always bringing food to work. Hams that he smoked,
roast beef, salads, chicken etc.
He makes 12-ounce hamburgers of ground beef and buffalo that
are to die for.
Koresh, his macaroni and cheese is the best I've ever
had. He bakes pies and stuff, too.
We eat better than any other car dealership in Oklahoma, guaranteed.
None of the people who work here gets better food at home.
Why do I mention this?
Last week, he was giving me a bad time about Ted kennedy "murdering"
Mary Jo Kopechne,
so I told him today was my birthday (it's not) and he brought
a six pound roast with all the trimmings
(potatos*, carrots etc) and a hueueueuge ham and a cherry
pie - all for me to take home.
He may be politically crazy, but he's a nice guy and a helluva cook.
From: Anjhole2@aol.com
Subject: Katherine Harris
I guess everyone has the right to opinions, and
for them to be stated. It should be noted
when one tried to obfuscate facts, however, and
a fact is that Katherine Harris upheld
state law by doing what she did on any particular
date doing so.
You and liberals everywhere hate the fact that:
1}She rebuked intemperate liberal state judges.
2} She is a woman, and attractive, and is NOT
liberal.
3} that she beat your ass with FAIRNESS (INCLUDING
Xtra recounts).
Katherine Harris certified a "quick count" before the votes were counted in a supertight race.
You may be techincally correct in the legal sense, because it was her
decision to make
and the governor was certainly not going to overrule her and let the
guy with the most votes win.
Did you say she was attractive?
Quotes
“It’s kind of scary with all the problems
we’ve had in Palm Beach County. Even a dog can vote.”
-- Wendy Albert, owner of Cocoa Fernandez,
a poodle who has been registered to vote
in the
county since July 11. Officials suspect Albert registered the dog under
her address.
"To prove a point, somebody in Florida
successfully registered their poodle to vote.
Katherine Harris is furious.
She said, "If any bitch is gonna
make a mockery of Florida election laws, it's gonna be me."
--Bill Maher
From: beck@mpi.com
Subject: Tiger Woods
BC,
I read recently that Tiger has taken up with Gabrielle
Reece. Some Bartcop hex.
He's already got more money than several small
countries, even if he never wins
another golf tournament he's going to mentioned
in the same tones as the big boys,
and now.....now......he's keeping company with
Gabrielle Reece.
Man, would I love to get on the Bartcop hex radar screen.
Your momma wears combat boots.
Eric
The
core problem of American political life
by Eric Arnow
Excerpt:
So Nixon and Kissinger went on to kill another million Vietnamese,
500,000 Cambodians directly
through our bombing, and indirectly, destroying that country,
thus paving the way for the Khmer Rouge
to kill another 2 million Cambodians. Well, we did finally nail
Nixon. But when Carter got elected,
he was immediately met with the same kind of Right Wing Buzz
Saw that Clinton got, and was given
the "coup de grace" by the Reagan Bush treason with the Iranian
hostage deal. Then there was Bush's
dirty tricks with the Willie Horton ads that did in Dukakis.
So one Johnson, one Carter and two Clinton elections are really
the only free and fair elections we've had since 1960.
Vieques Voters Want the Navy to Leave Now
"Residents of Vieques, P.R., voted more than
two to one in favor of demanding the
immediate departure of the United States Navy,
says the New York Whore Times.
This can't be!
Senator Jim Pissquik (R-Knuckledrag) said those people wanted
to be bombed.
He said he talked to them personally.
Something's wrong...
Happy Birthday to...
Vivica Fox is 37
Jamie Pressly is 24
Christine Taylor is 30
Quotes
"We had to destroy the village in order
to save it."
-- US officer, Vietnam, 1968
"We have to destroy America in order
to save her." --
-- Green Party, USA, 2000
from GWBushIsStupid@aol.com.
Gary
Condit: A Panicked Pay Phone Call from Cavern Country
This is an e-mail somebody sent. That means it might
be true, it might not be true.
The Bushes and their real family
Thanks to gullyfoyle
Apetown,
My Hometown
by Mo Dowd - Today, she hates Smirk
Excerpt:
Was Apetown Washington?
Was the Planet of the Apes the Bush White
House?
Hmmmm, so W. is President Primate.
Quotes
"A trillion dollars would be a stack
of $1,000 bills 67 miles high."
President Reagan, Feb 18, 1981, warning Congress
that the national debt is approaching $1 trillion.
Gee, Red Ink!
How high is 4.6
trillion dollars of debt?
From: bardgal@yahoo.com
Subject: Condit's Wife's furious phone call with Chandra
I think I've seen this movie already -
Remember the 1990 film Presumed Innocent
with Harrison Ford?
(spoilers ahead - but it was 11 years ago, so
who cares.)
He plays the DA who was having an illicit affair
with co-worker Greta Scacchi,
who turns up murdered after she tries to break
off the relationship.
It turns out that his wife Bonnie Bedelia was
the one who offed her.
Is this a remake or Karl Rove's version?
ha ha
I was first to suggest the wife
I got a Danny Gatton CD
California
to Bush - Drop Dead
Mr.
President, It's Time For A Real News Conference
by Helen Thomas
Excerpt:
It's true you have shared the press conference
platform with your foreign hosts
on the last two summit trips to Europe.
But American reporters at those sessions
were limited to three or four questions.
That restriction simply doesn't allow us
to explore issues that are long overdue
for examination.
Helen, did you get Mr. Rove's permission to write this?
You were kinda tough on Ol' Smirky there, weren't you?
You know he can't hold a live press conference with follow-up
questions.
How's Uncle Dick supposed to slip him the answers if he's already
on stage?
...and we haven't even talked about making fun of the mentally retarded.
To: JimKelly@nyc.rr.com
CC: Bart@bartcop.com
Dear Jim Kelly,
I saw your missive posted at Bart-cop.com about
censoring Tom Tomorrow.
As an unrepentant Nader voter and fervent Dumbya
disrespecter I was a bit taken
aback by your attack on T.T. and your apparent
willingness to blame progressives
for the Dumbya debacle. Humbly, I offer the following
editorial from The Nation for
your consideration. And, please, can't we on
the left just get along...there's work to be done!
Thank you for your time.
Excelsior, David Coyote
What I Voted
For
by Tim Robbins
In mid-June Tim Robbins received The Upton
Sinclair Award from the
Liberty Hill Foundation. Following is
an edited version of his remarks. --The Editors
About a month ago in a New York theater, I
was approached by an agitated older couple.
"We hope you're happy now," they said. "With
what?" I said, suspecting the answer they gave.
"Your Nader gave us Bush."
Now, this wasn't the first time since the election
that I had been attacked by irate liberals
who saw my support of Ralph Nader as a betrayal,
as blasphemy, as something
tantamount to pissing on the Constitution.
It was not easy to support Nader. In no uncertain
terms the message sent to us by
colleagues and business associates was that
our support of Nader would cost us.
Will it? I don't know.
...it went on and on.
The e-mail was 13K, and it's the edited version of his
remarks.
I read thru it, (and I blame the nuns for this) but who can stay
awake that long?
Why I voted for Nader requires an answer of that length?
I like Tim Robbins, and I think he made a mistake with Nader, but I'll
still see his
movies and I damn sure wouldn't insult anything worse than his lack
of brevity.
Meanwhile, can anybody explain Nader in two paragraphs?
Real
Power part 2
by Isaac Peterson
William Kennedy Smith May Run for Office
William Kennedy Smith, who was acquitted, is quietly
exploring
running for a seat in Congress from Chicago's
North Side.
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/07/29/politics/29KENN.html?todaysheadlines
No, it can't be...
Rush will spend all day re-living testimony from the rape trial.
William, can't you at least wait until they find Chandra's body?
From: foushee@swbell.net
Subject: Rebuttal to Liberal Media rant
This "ditto-head" has an answer for you...
I just got done reading your interesting theory
on the so called liberal slant
in the "media" and at the end of your aurgument
you stated:
You wrote:
> There is no "Exhibit B," because there are so few liberal voices on
television.
> The closest you can get is Eleanor on McLaughlin or Geraldo, but
there is barely
> a liberal whisper on television, even though there are DOZENS of
right-wing,
> Smirk-apologist shows whose livelyhood is lying about liberals.
Now my "rebuttal" to this aurgument is if you
are suppose to debunk the liberal "media" myth why
are you concentrating on only television?
Media does include print and radio (not just "talk" radio either).
Sean, first, thanks for the civil tone.
Most rebuttals are too hostile to print.
I concentrated on TV because that's where most people get most of their
"facts."
I just find it curious that with all of the typing
you did you did not once offer any evidence
as to why you believe all of these people would
run such a report or why CBS and CNN
are only moderatly bias and Fox, ABC, NBC are
right-wing controlled.
Sean, I know people hate it when a question gets answered with a question,
but,
Why does every book of Clinton slurs shoot to the top of the Times
Best Seller's list
but allegations of serious crimes by the Bush Family is met with yawns.
Rush would say,
"because all the Clinton crimes are true and
all the Bush crimes are made up,"
but we both know that's not true.
Righties buy scandal books, listen to scandal radio and watch scandal
cable TV shows.
I can't explain why.
Furthermore you never once addressed print or
radio in your argument which is sadly liberal controlled.
I may not have a clue as to what "ditto-head"
means to your small circle of friends
but I hope I shined some light on your aurgument's
fallacy.
Sean
Sean, did you not have time to make that list, the one that shows all
the left-leaning print
and radio stations vs. the hardly-any right-wing papers and radio stations?
If you get a chance, I'll print it.
Shhhh.... can you hear it?
You have to listen real good...
...Bartcop, BartCop
There, ...did you hear it that time?
It's Las Vegas ...calling me west.
From: relativity1@hotmail.com
Subject: 1,000,000 hits heh?..I think not ,try 150,000 tops
Your counter is rigged.It adds 2-4 hits for every
one average.
You never had 1000000 hits Bartfag!
And no,you do not get 7,000-8,000 a day.'Fraid
not ,no way.
You have a defective counter plus we figure you
are padding it with your
display number setting at ultimate counter.com
We figure you for padding
100,000 hits at least.Probably not all at once
but by the way your such an
anal whore over how many hits you brag about
,its fairly obvious ,you shoot
a few extra here and there pretty often.
You never had 1000000 hits!
Check your counter out!
Links I found in an e-mail from May
Project Censored
http://www.projectcensored.org/c2001stories/1.html
Bushwacking in the Netherlands
http://www.reutel.nl/log/bushwacker/
Bush Stole Tennessee as well
http://www.nashvilleinsanity.com/NPbreakingnews.html
Poliglut
http://poliglut.com/
The
Good Pope
by RB Ham
Excerpt:
Just last year the Pope was heard to talk
in more Hermetic and Gnostic tones when it comes to
the reality of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory,
Limbo etc. He talked of Hell as being a state of mind,
and that we had free choice to create it.
He steered away from the Dogmatic, counting saints on
pinheads Philosophy, instead preferring
to talk ecumenically of reaching out to all faiths.
Go JP II!
Incredible, considering the strain he must put himself under just to keep going.
The
Political Uses of Moving On
by Todd Gitlin
Excerpt:
Moving on is also selective. During the
many months of political battle about Whitewater,
Travelgate, Filegate, Paula Jones and,
not least, Monica Lewinsky, Democrats called upon
the Republican-dominated Congress to move
on. The Web site moveon.org sprang up,
collecting hundreds of thousands of on-line
signatures, to lobby Congress to censure
President Bill Clinton and then get back
to the nation's business.
Today, when the subject is the questionable
Bush win in Florida,
some Democrats disdain the Republicans'
determination to move on.
This guy is good.
From: abbau@msn.com
Subject: Planet of the Apes Review
Bartcop,
Noon Friday i took my five year old to the theatre
to see Panet of the Apes.
He loved the movie and i thought it was okay.
i could go into a serious
socio-historical analysis of the movie with an
emphasis on the tropological
disintegration of the critical bite of the original
movie, as well as its racial
and class undertones, but that would just be
an exercise in mental masturbation.
There was one thing that made me want to see the
movie again and purchase it
on DVD: i would have paid twice the price of
admission had i known that
Chuck Heston was going to die in the movie.
Seeing Heston croak is well worth the $12 Jake
and i paid.
john
Chicago
John, I keep hearing the same joke - that Chuckles is the only ape without a gun.
...they are talking about the movie, right?
Found some
classic Margaret Shemo from December
that never got published (or read) till today
From: mshemo@hotmail.com
Subject: Clinton's Pardons
Is that the "religiously insane" can't count, or is it that they can't, or won't, tell the truth?
From the December 23, 2000 Washington Post:
"Holiday season pardons are a long-standing
tradition for presidents.
On Christmas Eve 1992, for example, President
George Bush pardoned former
defense secretary Caspar W. Weinberger and
five others after they had either
been indicted or convicted in the Iran-contra
affair [arms were sold to a terrorist
nation in exchange for a batch of hostages,
and the proceeds were used to fund
a group of rebels which Congress refused to
support]. . . .
All told, Clinton has now granted 255 pardons
and commuted 25 sentences
in nearly eight years in office. By contrast,
Bush pardoned 74 people and
commuted three sentences in four years in
office. Ronald Reagan issued
393 pardons and commuted 13 sentences during
his two terms, while Jimmy
Carter pardoned 534 people and commuted 29
sentences during his [single] term."
So, Bill Clinton has pardoned FEWER people than
either Ronnie or Jimmy Carter.
And Bill Clinton has NOT pardoned anyone
who could threaten to give evidence
against him -- for example, testimony that he
had lied in claiming he was "out of the loop"
when crimes were committed.
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
http://www.geocities.com/bardgal/longrun.html
Mail
From Jan 20, 2001
and a boatload of new cartoons
From: avedon@cix.compulink.co.uk
Subject: Who owns the media?
You wrote:
>The Republican hate machine is owned by three entities:
>Rush, the vulgar lying Nazi Pigboy
>Rupert Murdoch, the Australian gossip rag kingpin who hounded Princess
Diana to her death
>The Moonies (Bush Family Evil Empire) who own the Washington Times
You left out the Clear Channel bunch. They've
pretty much taken over radio,
they are scary as hell, and they are right-wingers.
Rush is on their team.
You are correct!
But Clear Channell is really just a subsidiary of Pigboy Inc.
They also own Laura's soul and Mancow and someone else - Harvey the
horse molester, maybe?
Hey, Mr. Ed, do you know if Paul Harvey is owned by Pigboy Inc?
700
Club Needed Here
by Rayne Poussard
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
