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Bartcop.com
Who keeps up with golf?
Does anyone know in which tournament Tiger Woo
is going to come in a sorry-ass 15th this weekend?
From: (withheld)
Subject: Senator Pissquik
Bart,
Please withhold my name because I work for
a US senator.
You are right about Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik)
being an asshole.
They call him "Whistledick" here in DC.
Nick
Nick,
ha ha
I do NOT want to know how he got that name...
Did he really say that?
Did the man who holds the western hemisphere record for the most
state sanctioned murders
really say, "Human life is too
precious to be destroyed so callously?"
Did he really say that?
This is the same guy who mocked Death Row Christian Karla Faye
Tucker
saying "Please don't kill me," and
then giggled in the back of his limo?
I
don't trust President Bush,
but
I trust his dad
But Sir, I'm sure whatever secret deals you made with 41,
43 will follow thru because those Bushes like America's enemies.
Who cares what we think?
If Smirky wants to drill on Rushmore - he will.
Shemo
vs Powell
My money's on Shemo
Freedom of speech
Many of you are aware that about two weeks ago, the US Supreme Court
ruled
that the state of Missouri cannot discriminate against the Ku Klux
Klan when it comes
to groups that want to participate in the adopt-a-highway program.
While seeing the name of the Klan on a highway sign is aesthetically
disgusting, most realized
that this decision was a victory for free speech and equal
protection under the law.
Well, the Department of Transportation in Missouri has gotten
its legal revenge, and boy is it sweet.
True, they can't remove the KKK's adopt-a-highway sign,
but no one would dispute the state's right
to name the highway itself. The KKK is now regularly cleaning
up a stretch of the newly christened
Rosa Parks
Freeway
You Make the Call
Let's say you're sitting in your home one day, minding your own
business, and a gang of
Chinese men kicked in your door, beat you up, robbed your house,
sexually assalted you,
kept you captive for about three weeks, and finally agreed to
stop the assault after you
apologized, not once but twice, and then begged
them to forgive you
Then, as they were leaving, they presented you with a bill for
$1,000,000 for sexual services.
So you negotiate with them and finally decide to write the gang
a check for $34,000.
Upon hearing this, your suck-ass friends in the whore press would
then call you,
"a wise leader, a savvy deal-maker and
a skilled negotiator," right?
Do you think this example is too extreme?
President Weak and Stupid, how could you?
...and what the hell is wrong with our military?
They'd rather lick Chinese boots that criticize Weak and Stupid?
They rather donate a futuristic plane to the Chi-Coms and apologize
than call it what it was?
You know I'm pro-military, and I'll forgive a lot, but I don't
understand this horseshit
and I also don't understand why a military family would rather
their boy die under Bush
or Saint Reagan than come home safely under President Clinton.
I don't care how much you hate Bill Clinton.
He was elected by the voters and he brought your kids home.
...but those two things don't matter?
From: bk11072000@yahoo.com
Subject: Bush a carpenter - just like Jesus
Note paragraph four - it certainly sounds like
he only spent a few minutes "working",
not even the 15 minutes he had allocated!
--Brian Kavanaugh
Bush Pitches In On Habitat For Humanity
President Bush, continuing his monthlong vacation,
left his Texas ranch
to help with work on a Habitat for Humanity house
in nearby Waco.
He used the opportunity to promote his plan for
channeling federal funds
through religious charities, reports CBS News
Correspondent Bill Whitney.
Mr. Bush strapped on a nail belt, picked up a
hammer and drove nails into
what would become a wall at a low-income home-building
project.
Brian, good point.
He may not have done any work at all.
The whore press won't give us ANY facts, just Karl Rove's spin.
...and the dumb son of an arms dealer couldn't go 15 minutes
without
needing paramedics to stop the bleeding when he stepped on his
hand.
Koresh knows he couldn't run a french frier at McDonalds without medics.
The
Whore Street Jounal is PRO-Cockfighting
...and they hate Hillary for hindering its growth
Excerpt:
Personally, I think rooster fights are
perfectly legitimate. These are chickens, after all.
Chickens, moreover, which by their own
nature love to fight. I see little reason why
humans should stop them from doing in a
pit what they do with great frequency in a barnyard.
ha ha
Yeah, that's what chickens do.
They go to the chicken silversmith in Chickentown and have him
forge razor-sharp claws
so the chickens can get in their pits and bet chicken money on
which chicken gets torn to death.
ha ha
Make them stop!
This is today's Cock-Crazy GOP talking, and the Whore
Street Journal backs them up.
I think I know what's happened:
They sooooooooo mcuh wanted Clinton's cock - and didn't get it,
so they capture chickens and
force them to kill each other while they fantasize that it's
really Bill Clinton in the pit.
Meanwhile, they slip one hand in their pants a do a little "cock-fighting"
of their own.
ha ha
You know it's true.
Koresh, it's the third goddamn millenium,
and the Party of God wants to watch chickens fight while they
masturbate.
...and Hillary's the bad guy for wanting to stop them?
ha ha
Wait, here's another excerpt:
What's more, Sen. Cluck-Cluck's legislation
would kill off an impressively successful industry
--one that is largely rural and family
owned, yet that does merry trade across the globe.
Indeed, one of the ironies of Mrs. Clinton's
amendment is that it was stuck to a massive bailout
bill for farmers. Yet here was Hillary
hoping to strangle one of the few parts of the agricultural
industry that make good money.
ha ha
I hear there's good money in kiddie porn, too, Whore Street Journal.
Why don't we make that legal, too?
Then you sick fux could masturbate to kiddie porn instead of
bloody chickens.
Can you believe we just "lost" an election to these cavemen?
BTW, you need proof that I didn't make this up. CLICK HERE
If I didn't read this myself, I'd think it was TheOnion.com
again.
Any time you see something that's so crazy it can't be true,
think TheOnion.com
Bush crime scene
I am much beloved on the Freeper boards
http://freerepublic.com/forum/a3b73240b664c.htm
One note:
"Bartcop" is obscene. The socialists are a
l m o s t too pathetic for words.
They have no knowledge of truth, have
no compunctions about lying.
If they had any smarts whatsoever,
they'd renounce the cesspool ideology
they hold and seek the truth. On the
one hand I pity them; on the other
I abhor them for their ignorance and
lack of conscience.
Posted by Dixielander
That poster has the power to confront me live in the chat room,
but she is obviously too afraid to attempt such a daring and
risky maneuver.
I enjoy sheering sheep - it's why I'm here.
Yet - there's not one Repub site that allows dissent talk, is
there?
There's not one GOP site where the truth can be told - they are
too afraid.
For years I've waited for some Freeper to
"straighten me out," but instead,
they send messages to each other about what a "clueless liar"
I am,
I guess that's how cowards operate.
They hide
I guess a debate might endanger their fantasy of superiority.
So they will continue to pat each other on the bottom and say
"Good post,"
instead of facing the demon - the one who would shred their simple
theories.
Theft of the Presidency Day 269
Katherine
Harris Was Determined To Reject Palm Beach Recount
Excerpt:
The Florida Supreme Court ordered Katherine Harris
to accept the Palm Beach recount until 5 pm on
Sunday November 26 or on Monday at 9 am. But
at 1:30 pm on Sunday, GOP operatives in Harris'
office had already written speeches rejecting
the court-ordered recount as "unlawful" and declaring Bush
the winner, according to documents from her computers
recovered by The Palm Beach Post.
At 5 pm, Harris in fact rejected the recount because
it was two hours from completion, even though Harris
could have accepted the completed returns the
following morning. On December 9, the Florida Supreme
Court overruled Harris and ordered her to include
383 additional votes for Gore in Palm Beach and
Miami-Dade, reducing Bush's lead to 154 and ordering
a state-wide count of undervotes. That's when the
Felonious Five of the U.S. Supreme Court stepped
in to declare Bush the winner, contrary to all applicable
law and the US Constitution. It is now clear
that the Republicans were DETERMINED to steal Florida.
From: rds1@csinet.net
Subject: BC Radio ?
BC,
I think someone forgot to tie the string to your can.....
RDS
RDS,
I understand your disappointment, but I tried to stress
that this was a test, and not some polished, finished product.
Sure, we could've given the phone number out to five friends and asked
them
to call in and test the network that way, but I thought it would be
fun to take a risk.
Here's what happened:
On the way to work yesterday, I heard that Bush was going to have his
first ever
address to the nation, so my first thought was to postpone the test,
but we "invited"
so many people to call in I didn't want to go back on that, so we perservered.
The plan was to get with producer Marty a few minutes before showtime,
so I called him at 7:45 and asked if he was ready and he said,
"We have more than an hour, so there's no
rush."
Uh-Oh, he was thinking 9 PM and I told everybody 8 PM.
(Never trust me to get anything right)
So he said, "What the hell" and threw the switches and we were on the
air, sort of.
There are conflicting reports as to the success of the broadcast,
(Would I make a good politician with bullshit like that?)
but it appears the show didn't stream to anybody but the Freeper community.
(More on that - below)
So we started at 8, and it's a long story but I was on a cell phone,
and by 9:30
my cell battery ran dead and I was gone. I got Mrs. BartCop's cell
phone and
got back on, but it died after another 20 minutes or so, so I don't
know how
the broadcast ended.
For much of this I was one eye in the Chat Room where frustrated people
were trying to
figure out what was wrong, but the problems were on our end, not yours.
I haven't heard back from Marty yet, but when I hear something I'll
post it.
One thing: Marty was a great host.
All by himself, he was running the verbal end of the show, taking calls
and throwing switches
and keeping everything moving. He also put the very nervous Bart at
ease. He's got a voice
that you enjoy listenting to, plus he's intelligent and he was the
star of the show last night.
Marty is a Koresh-send. My contributions were limited to the
occasional grunt and wheeze
for the most part, but I expected to be bad since it was my first time.
I never got comfortable
with the format, but maybe that'll get better with time. Besides,
I needed some humbling.
Funny tho, the people who called in all sounded great.
Mary Beth from Rockville, MD was on before we cranked up, and I'm not
sure how she did that,
but kuddos to Mary Beth. We took six or seven calls before I crashed
on my end. Rude Rich from
New York got thru, but he behaved himself. Muddrow gut thru, too. We
had some kind of mixup where
Christian didn't get thru, but I know Marty was doing ten things at
once, so we'll be sure and get Christian
on next time. One of the Callers told us about meeting her in Washington
during that Voter March thing.
I missed part of that conversation, but apparently they had on similar
shirts - something like that.
Sidebar:
Also, if/when we do this again, maybe you should
mention your e-mail address,
because I know so many people by those names,
instead of their real names.
Since I rushed Marty into going on an hour earlier than he expected,
an already-scrambled first show
had an even rockier start. We didn't even play Rush singing "I'm a
Nazi." but Marty was a real pro
- let's all give him a hand. (clap-clap)
When I hear some news, I'll post it, but sorry things didn't fly like
we wanted.
On the other hand, wouldn't it be a kick to hear Pigboy's first-ever
hour on the radio?
I'll bet he sucked worse than I did.
I have a video of his disasterous Pat Sajak guest hosting job where
he totally melted down
so bad that they had to ask the entire audience to leave during
a commercial break,
or so they say (I have the tape but haven't seen it yet) and that was
after he'd already been
in the business for 25 years, so I'm keeping my chin up.
Hell, maybe we should do more shows in private, then unveil the knows-what-he's-doing
BartCop
in September, but who knows, we'll just see what happens.
More when we know something...
On last night's show, I sent in a pre-recorded mp3 "Opening
Statement."
It's not worth the download time (30 minutes on a 56K modem)
but if you have cable or a DSL, it might be worth it.
It's four minutes of me screaming at Weak & Stupid and the
Tutu Democrats.
The show had to start with something, so I thought a screaming
rant would be good.
So if you have a 28K or 56K modem, don't write and say, "I wasted my time for that?"
From: realmuddro@hotmail.com
Subject: i was your first caller! :)
Bartcop!
I made history, bro!
Listen, you better keep this up.
I'll be the only caller if I have to. :)
Hopefully I won't choke as bad as I did this
time.
Thanks for providing me a prime seat in the coming Bartcop revolution.
Muddro
Muddro, you did great - all the callers did.
I was surprised you weren't more nervous.
You did good, thanks for the call.
It proves we really were on last night :)
Happy Birthday to...
.......
.......
.......
Angie Harmon is 29
Lisa Dergen is 31
Debra Norville is 45
Robin Quivers is funny
Also a shout out to Billy Jack (70) and my man from U2 The Edge (40) and Dustin Hoffman (64)
Big Pussy in the Kitchen
Emeril Lagasse has a TV show coming this fall.
Emeril has plans to "kick it up a notch" with a dash of stunt
casting!
In the second episode will be Vincent Pastore - "Big Pussy" from
The Sopranos.
The second-most famous snitch in the world gave TV Guide Online
a peek at Emeril's operation.
From: relativity1@hotmail.com
Subject: HEY BARTFAG!
Your radio show SUCKED like everyone knew it would!
In your "issue" you had Bush ,Hannity and Limbaugh
all saying how bad it would suck ...AND IT DID!
Your attempt to try to shame your piglets to listen
to you FAILED!
Bush by the way ...did GREAT in that non topic"Embryonic
Stem Cell Research"
...like your buffoons even know what that is.
Mike Reilly
Mike,
Interesting that the only person in America who heard the show was
a Freeper.
That, ...or you're a liar.
Funny, you listened to the show nobody heard
but you didn't have the balls to call in and challenge me.
As far as President Weak & Stupid's stem cell "strategery,"
according to the people who think life begins at conception,
Bush ordered half the "babies" murdered.
That's what I call "Taking
a stand on principle."
You must be very proud...
...and thanks for reading bartcop.com
Unlike my listening to Rush, which does him no good and does
him much harm,
every time you click on this page you're contributing to building
the BartCop pie higher.
Thanks, buddy.
Katherine Harris - Registered to Vote in Two Counties
Excerpt:
When Katherine Harris was elected and moved to
Tallahassee, she registered to vote - but her old
registration remained active for 7 months. At
the same time, Harris' office was illegally purging
thousands of valid voters, mostly Democrats and
many black.
"I guess they had a computer program that only
purged Democrats," said Tony Welch, a spokesman
for the Florida Democratic Party. "When they
can't even catch a problem with the top elections officer
in the state, that's just sad." And one more
reason why Katherine Harris should resign.
Suge Knight Out of Prison
I'd just like to remind everyone this is a comedy page,
and the things that are said here are for fun only.
Nothing should be taken seriously, especially my tongue-in-cheek comments
about Mr. Knight being involved, in any way, in the deaths of
Tupac and Biggie.
There's no tequila in hell, funnyboy.
Bush Offers "Weak and Limited"
Compromise on Stem Cell Research
Statement of NARAL President Kate Michelman
Washington, DC -- The President tonight offered
a weak and limited compromise
on stem cell research. In an attempt to
politically straddle the issue, the President
has pleased no one. The country was looking
for bold and confident leadership.
Instead, America got a tepid proposal that offers
little hope to the millions who suffer
from life-threatening diseases. Americans
must now turn to Congress for the support
needed to continue this vital research.
"Weak & Limited" is a lot like "Weak & Stupid"
Stem
Cell Talk
by Willster1@aol.com
From: editor@publicadvocate.com
Subject: Excellent
Great piece on the "liberal media".
Just one thing though. Wolf "the whore"
Blitzer would actually
do an extended North American audience
2 hour show.
Carl W. Lemieux
Carl,
Thanks for the note, and nice page you have.
...and good point on Wolf the Whore.
If CNN wants to improve ratings, they'd dump that loser for anybody
else.
Click Here to see Carl's page.
Excerpt:
The White House is now made up of people from
the business sector. The directors of government
regulatory agencies are being staffed with CEO’s
from the corporations they are established to regulate!
Andrew Card was an icon in the Washington lobbyist
scene, Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill has stated
repeatedly that he wants to abolish the corporate
income tax, EPA is now run by Christine Todd-Whitman
who believes corporate polluters should not be
fined or prosecuted, but allowed to correct their environmental
contamination voluntarily. The FDA will allow
pharmaceuticals to dictate drug policy, Department of Agriculture
will continue to allow Pilgrim’s Pride (Bush
no. 8 money source) to pollute, go uninspected and maintain unsafe
working conditions for its employees. And the
list goes on.
story on the girl who
died in the Florida congressman's office.
Michael Berkland, it turns out, has a
very interesting background....
Recently relocated to Florida, it is
a matter of public record that
Dr.
Berkland's medical license was revoked
for
reporting
false information.
Berkland does not deny the charges.
...and he says she died of "natural causes?"
Someday...
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
