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 Quotes

"He was actually kind of a jackass, but ... he was the president's kid, who shows up
  and says things like 'Why aren't things going well?  You know, you gotta get loyalty!' "
  --  William Kristol, talking about Smirk's trips to the White House when his dad was president
        and Kristol worked for Dan Quayle.

Reagan Deficits...

BC,

Regarding the deficits run up by Reagan...Somebody gets paid interest on that debt
...the US taxpayer pays something like 300 billion a year on interest to holders of that debt.
Rich people are typically holders of that debt, and the interest paid to them helps to keep them rich
and "in the driver's seat". It's a financial cycling, plotted by the wealthy to keep them in their exalted position.

If it crashes, ( like it did in the 30's...) they are in big trouble. The sham will be readily evident.
That debt was not created to hamstring the government. It was created to generate interest, risk-free,
for a select group of people...bondholders. (Remember Clinton goin' ballistic when he found out that
wealthy bondholders would hamper his efforts to rivive the economy back in '92?)...

Some folks are makin' out like bandits on this deal...as long as they can keep it goin'...300 billion plus a year.
Obviously, the US government now exists to feed the rich....

El Bicho

From: jcarr@uswest.net

Subject: Assholes

Your all a big bunch of ASSHOLE democraps following Tommy Dashole to your end.

END SOCIAL INSECURITY!!!
BIGGER TAX CUTS - 50% ACROSS THE BOARD !!!
END ALL DEMOSHIT PROGRAMS!!

Democraps SUCK

Jim Carr
 

Jim, let's take a look at your fine work:

1. You have a foul mouth. Is your dad Dick, the Foul-Mouthed Texan?
2. "democraps?"  Did you think of that all by yourself?
    Or do you have a brother in grade school??
3. "Tommy Dashole?"  So, you are a ditto-monkey, just as I suspected.
     I figured you for a Rushboy by your "Hi, learn to hate me" opening.
4. "End Social Security?" Yep, that sounds like a Republican.
     Screw the poor, screw the veterans, screw the sick and the blind,
     the oil companies need more billions.
    You, Sir, are bona fide GOP.
5. Fifty percent tax cuts? Why stop there?
    If cutting taxes INCREASES revenue, like your Master Rush says,
    then a 100 percent tax cut would really increase revenues, according to Rush.
6. End all "demoshit" programs?
    You mean you don't want your kids to be as educated as you?

    ha ha

    Koresh, forgive me, but I loves my Monkey mail.

    Don't be a stranger, Jimmy.
    Promise?

    ha ha

 Quotes

"The murder rate is way down in D.C.
  They think it's down because Condit has stopped dating."
     --David Letterman

 Travel Agent Needed

 There's three things we know we're going to do in San Francisco.
 1. See Marc Perkel, publisher of bartcop.com
 2. See if Tommys Tequila Bar is as good as they claim
 3. Get a bad-ass hotel room with a view of the bay for one night.

 Lorena's boss said he'd pay for one night at a fabulous hotel.
 So if you know of any bad-ass hotels with a spectacular bay view, lemme know.

 Then we need a cheapo hotel near Tommy's, within cab range.
 Boy, I wish I had a good search engine, because a while back I printed a story about
 Tommy's where they bragged they had some Chinaco Anejo Black Label Tequila
 that was supposed to put "regular old" Chinaco Anejo to shame.

 ha ha

 This I will attempt to verify. I don't care if we have to eat at McDonalds the rest of the trip,
 we are going to sample some fine tequila at Tommy's. If they're smart, they'd do like they do at
 The Venetian and sell 1/3 shots, so a connis, ...a connesu, ...so a tequila lover could taste some variety.

 Is pot legal in Intelligencia?
 I may attempt to verify the rumor that marihuanna is readily available in Haight Ashbury,
 Of course, once I have inspected the marihuanna, and my reasearch has been completed,
 I would, swear to Koresh, burn the drugs after inspecting them

 What else is there to do in San Francisco?
 Don't tell me about seafood or Thai food restaurants - not gonna happen.

 Can I rent a boat and drive myself around the bay?
 I don't need an escort, thanks.
 Is Alcatraz worth a visit?

 We were there for a day in 1983, and the cable cars weren't working.
 Are they working now?

 Do they still have nuclear wessels in Alemeda?
 Do they have an earthquake museum?
 Or is the whole town considered an earthquake museum?

 What else is there to do?

   e-mail Ol' BartCop

 Quotes

"Congratulations to President Bush!
  Over the weekend he was inducted into the Little League Hall of Excellence.
  That makes sense – he's sort of like a litte league president."
    --David Letterman

From: celaine@attglobal.net

Subject: Sunday's Off?

Dear BC:

I am stuck in Jessie Helm's Country and you are the voice of freedom,
the corner stone of democracy and Bartcop is a necessity not a just a luxury.

Taking weekends off is a Smirk idea, Clinton worked 24/7 and we loved him.
Before I open the local NC rag or read the national NYT rag, I read Bartcop 7 days a week.
 

Celaine, at last, you're getting rid of Sen Troglodyte.
That makes Okalhoma's Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik) the biggest ass in the senate now.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "When Clinton's book comes out, people will buy it,
   but I guarantee you nobody is going to read it."
    -- another guarantee from stroke victim Rush, first hour today

From: steffawnia@hotmail.com

Subject: Alaska Oil Drilling

I have been opposed in general to oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
But when the U.S. House approved drilling by adding an amendment limiting it to
just 2,000 of the park's 1.5 million acres, that seemed a logical compromise.

However, it turns out that the 2,000 acres don't have to be contiguous,
and only the area of the equipment touching the ground is counted.

Inasmuch as the actual drilling platform takes up only 10 acres, this plan will permit
the oil companies to spread out over the entire park regions - up to 200 different sites.

The doublespeak by the U.S. House is 100 times worse than
anything they ever accused Bill Clinton of doing, about his private life.
I'm only 18 but I guess by now I should realize that seldom do our representatives
really consider the good of the entire nation, or the will of their constituents.

This means more letters to Washington - not that I think it will do a lot of good,
but as a very concerned citizen I surely will express my opinion.

Stephanie
Fairbanks, Alaska
And a big Bartcop fan!
 

Stephanie,
I understand Republicans, and I understand greed, but I don't understand
why the Democrats are just laying down for every bad idea Smirk sends them.

President Weak & Stupid can count on Senator Leahy's (D? - Rubberstamp)  vote
on every confirmation. Not only that, but Leahy will say "This is a great nominee," and then
he'll use his influence to persuade less powerful Democratic senators to vote the same way.

...y'know, I remember reading something on the Internet about a dead hooker
being found in Sen Leahy's car.  Can anybody confirm? Maybe if we get Leahy out,
we can get a Democrat who's not chapping his lips on Smirk's rear end...

 Quotes

 "The long-standing tradition has always been a former president doesn't criticize a sitting president,
  and Clinton has done exactly that when he installed his hand-picked people to run the DNC."
     -- Captain Grunt, just after his last slur, still in the first hour
 

 You see, in Rush's world of non-accountability, recommending an appointment
  is EXACTLY the same as verballe criticizing the appointed, not elected, pResident.

 ...this, from the guy who gives Red-Ink Reagan CREDIT for almost spending us into bankruptcy.

 Quotes

 "The press are like dogs.
   They lick themselves - because they can!"
   -- Pigboy, getting one right.
 

 But Rush,
 "the press" would include you, O'Reilly, Hannity, Brit Hume, Tony Snow, Paul Harvey,
  Laura the Unloved, Paula Von Zahn, George Will, Bob Novak, ...and ...who am I forgetting...?

   Oh, that's right - the Queen Bee of all Washington whores 

 And, according to Rush Limbaugh, ...they are licking themselves?

From: jbengtson@novausainc.com

Subject: Dr. Whora

Bartcop,

Loved the tale you posted about Dr. Slut and Sharon Stone.
Hilarious that the Unlaid One can't see the hypocrisy.
 

That's a swear to Koresh true story.

I don't know if you were listening today but she seemed extra shrill.
She was admonishing liberals that they were not being diverse enough
because they were protesting El Gordo's possible CNN trough spot. She said,
"I want all of you liberals to contact CNN and encourage diversity and tolerance,
 AND I'M GOING TO KEEP AFTER YOU IF YOU DON'T !!!!!! "

Then she was blasting N.O.W. for supporting Paula Yates. She was saying that
no feminist would acknowlege her writings, opinions, success, blah, blah, blah...
 

I've never understood the "logic" of the ditto-monkey mind, saying people like Yates and
Jeffery Dahmer and the Unibomber were "obviously sane" when they did what they did.

Now I know why you call her The Unloved One. hahahahahahaha
 

Hey, don't forget that other quote in the same story,
"I'm not a natural blonde."

Yeah, we know Laura.
Every kid with a modem knows that.

Condit Children fired from cushy political jobs

 Gary A. Condit's (D>R - Guiltyashell) two children resigned from Gov. Gray Davis's office today,
 one day after Davis joined those criticizing his guilty ass in the Chandra Levy case.
 Of course, to save grief all the way around, they were asked to resign, but make no mistake:
 They had to be loet go because the democrats are FINALLY starting to take my advice.

 Dump this guilty loser sooner, rather than later.

 Click  Here

About that 'left-wing media bias' . . .
    by Gene Lyons, one of the best

 Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 A good way for the Bush twins to stay out of the tabloids would be to stay out of bars and quit
 getting busted. If Chelsea had ever gotten hauled downtown, they'd have had to take a fire hose
 to GOP moralist Bill Bennett to stop him ranting about the Clintons' permissive parenting.

 Hi, I'm Bill Bennett.
 I'm a paid-for whore.

 Quotes

 "There is no honor in kicking somebody when they are down."
    -- Chad (of all names) Condit, on why his Dad is dumping on the Levy family.

Payback Time For Tripp?
Did Junior Lie To The Press About Poppy's Alleged Affair?

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Jennifer Fitzgerald held a key staff post – and this caused a virtual revolt among his other loyal staffers.
 They hated the haughty, pushy and arrogant woman who clearly had more "access" to Bush than they did.
 Vice President Bush went to Geneva in 1984 during the arms talks and arranged through our negotiators
 to stay in a government guest house – with Jennifer Fitzgerald.

 Consumer confidence declines again

 Full Story

  Excerpt:
"The deteriorating U.S. job market dampened consumer spirits this month,"
 said Lynn Franco, director of the Conference Board's Consumer Research Center.
 "The nation's employment and unemployment numbers now bear watching,
 since continued weakness could translate into slower consumer spending."
 

 Dear God,
 You were always in a good mood when Clinton was president.
 Are you as angry about Florida as the voters are?

BREAKING NEWS from CNN.com

 -- 2nd quarter U.S. Gross Domestic Product shows modest 0.2 percent growth.

 This can't be right.
 President Weak and Crooked said the economy would grow at 3.5 percent,
 and that would fund his massive tax cuts for the super-rich.

 Mr. Rove isn't going to like this...

Special interests pick up Barr travel tab
Whose money is that baby killer spending?

 Full crooked story

 Excerpt:
 Bob Barr's (R-murdered his daughter) three-night stay in Orlando cost the NRA $2,670,
 while an Islamic group picked up an $18,000 tab for a 10 day Middle East tour.

 Quotes

 "When I see the sun go down in the evening, I can't help but think about
    how Bill Clinton betrayed America's trust with Monica Lewinsky."
    -- Barbara Olson, who knows a thing or two about going down.

 I'll bet Barbara Olson "can't help" thinking about Clinton's zipper
 when she pours milk in her coffee every morning.

From: jbhigdon@townsend.com

Subject: PREDICTION

Look for Zell Miller (D<R, Georgia) to do a complete change of parties, from D to R,
before the end of the next congressional session, throwing the Senate back to the control
of the Repugnican party.  He will do this in exchange for the chair on a major Senate committee.

And remember... You heard it here first.

Jim H.
 

Jim, that's pretty daring...
Are you sure you want to be that far out on the limb?  :)

Stroke Me, Stroke Me

Bart, didja hear Pigboy today when he was saying that you couldn't believe anything
the CBO says, even though moderates and liberals take it all as if it's "god speed literalness"?

Is Pigboy dissembling into as big an idiot, or did Dumbass write the RNC blastfax today?

Anne
 

Anne, I missed that one, but check this one out.

"Ronald Reagan deserves the CREDIT for the massive federal deficits of the eighties,
  because those massive federal deficits handcuffed the big-spending liberals."

That idiot!

After a dozen years of lying about the Democrats spending us into near-bankruptcy,
the stroked out dork reverses his decade-old lie to give Reagan CREDIT for doing it.

ha ha

THIS is why Rush can't afford to archive his shows.
Even an IQ of 64 ADD Catholic could hang him with his own words - if they were available.
That poor, poor man.

He finally reached the pinnacle of wealth, but he's lost his mind to those nasty schematic strokes
Of course, some people blame the syphillis he caught from Bob Dornan.
(They say the final stages of advanced syphillitic syndrome is just like a schematic stroke.)

...but after decades of  blaming  us, he now gives the CREDIT to Red Ink Reagan,
 all because Smirky said "It's good that we have no more surplus."

There was a time, not long ago, when Rush led the GOP.
Now he's following the strategery of President Weak & Stupid.

From: rpwright@cei.net

Subject: CNN whores

What is up with Bruce Morton on CNN?
He has turned into a full time apologist for Bush.
I heard him explain today why blowing the entire surplus and going into
the SS fund was really nothing to concern our little old heads about, the fucking hump.

Bill Schneider is worse but Morton is really trying to catch up.
 

Richard, I'm so old, I remember when Bill Schneider was fair.
Swear to Koresh, it may be back 300 issues, but I remember saying Schneider was
a guy you could trust to give it to you straight, ...but then he started saying things like,
"You can tell Bill Clinton is a liar, because nobody will name their child 'Bill Clinton.' "

...whatever the fuck that means.

I like Clinton a lot, but I'd never name my kid Bill Clinton BartCop.

 Perplexed
   by RB Ham, Canadian Correspondent

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Now that Poppy’s idiot son and his own hooligans ( Abrams, Reich, etc ) are back in charge,
 there are no checks or balances.
 That giant sucking sound you are about to hear is the massive increase of tax payer funds
 being imbibed by the gigantic maw of the Black Budget.

 Today's  is loaded with stuff!
 The Murder in Small Town X Update (next week is the conclusion)
 New Astrology charts for Eric Clapton & Chet Atkins.
 There's a new Superman on the WB, ...but where are his tights?
 Plus,  an update on the cutthroat SAG elections - Valerie Harper or Melissa Gilbert?

 Hey, when in doubt, go with the babe - Gilbert.

From: ericarnow@earthlink.net

Subject:  Your theory

Hi:

I think your theory would hold more water if the Demons, er Demos had blocked a few of
Bush's more egregious nominations, like Ashcroft. The Demos have had NUMEROUS
opportunities to hold the Rethuglican accountable, starting with the coup that was hatched
against Roosevelt during the 30's, or LBJ holding Nixon accountable for secretly and
treasonously sabotaging the Vietnamese peace talks, or  exposing Iran Contra, etc, etc., etc.

It's just that the Rethugs are so smart at being greedy that they are stupid enough to step in their own shit.
If the Demos would simply get the story straight and strong for the American people.....

Eric Arnow
 

Eric, with 570 issues, I've expressed a dozen theories.
But there's no doubt, the Democrats are pink-tutu cowards who refuse to fight.

Ashcroft?
No problem.

Ted Olson?
No problem.

Gail Watt?
No problem.

Terry Scumbag-Liar Wooten?
No problem.

Whatever you want, Mr. Legally Elected Leader, Sir.
If Mr. Rove says he's a good man, then fuck it - he's a good man.

Koresh, with Senator Rubberstamp agreeing to EVERY fascist Smirk nominates,
what chance do we have to stop the illegal Bush Family Evil Empire takeover?

 It's come to my attention that it's hard to get in the chat room.
 I'm working with Gens to develope a solution.

 Plus, there's some dead weight slackers in the chat room we could afford to lose...

 Happy Birthday to...

           Michael Michelle is 35                       Cameron Diaz is 29           Becky De Mornay is 40

  Michael Jackson's nose is 11

 Plus,
 John McCain starts collecting Social Security today,
 unless Weak & Crooked gave that to the oil companies, too.

 Quotes

"Being a comedian with Bush becoming president is like being the owner
 of  a hardware store with the storm of the century on the way:
 You hate to see it happen, but it's great for business."
   -- Dennis Miller, before he cashed the check

From: EHOWARD@lacba.org

Subject: John Ashcroft

Dear BartCop:

Is it true that John Ashcroft has participated several times in a highly secret,
supposedly sacred ritual endorsed by far-right Christians in which a young woman
is impregnated by church elders at the altar in what is called an act of abortion attonement?

Eric
 

Well, sure. That's old news.

...and since he's Attorney general (confirmed by Senator Rubberstamp
 and the Democrats) there's nothing anybody can do to spot them.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.