POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155 |
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POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155 |
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From: Tamara Baker
Subject: Bill Clinton gets standing ovation in Chicago Restaurant
President Bill Clinton was greeted with
a standing ovation
while dining at Gibsons in Chicago Wednesday
night.
"It was stunning,'' said a Sneed source.
"Michael Jordan and Mayor Daley
have gotten spontaneous applause at
Gibsons, but nothing as sustained as this.
Clinton even forked his way past his
limo and down the block surrounded by fans!''
http://www.suntimes.com/output/sneed/cst-nws-sneed10.html
Meanwhile, Weak&Stupid can't go ANYWHERE in
public
without bussing in a bunch of ditto-spanks to
pose as an audience!
I firmly predict that Bill Clinton will be worshipped as a GOD by the time 2004 rolls around.
Tamara Baker
ha ha
I agree.
VEGAS
TRIP REPORT
by Pete Hisey, a BartCop E! music editor
From: ca_creekin@yahoo.com
Subject: wanna boycott EIB advertisers
BC,
Along with your highly appreciated "stroke" moments,
could you also include reports of companies advertising
on Pigboy's radio programs? I want to personally
boycott these companies, but don't have time to tune in.
Thanks,
Tut
Tut,
I knew we had a list somewhere, and I found
it here.
But funny, while I was searching for it, I
found this.
Now sure why it's called ads2.htm, but there's some fun stuff there.
I heard a rumor that Ted Rall hates Clinton more than Bob Barr.
Can anybody confirm? Or reveal why?
Catastrophe Averted
You talk about horseshit...
We finally got everything lined up for the big trip to San Francisco,
but when I clicked on travelocity.com to pay for it, ...they
raised the prices.
I booked everything, but didn't give them my credit card.
Today, prices were up 50 percent over yesterday.
Now, I don't mind getting a "sold out" or something, because I
understand that it's
first come-first served, but EVERY airline went up 50 percent
since last night?
American, United, TWA and whoever else goes from K-Drag to San
Fran.
There's no way this could happen unless they were price-fixing.
Somehow, Karl Rove and the Bush Family Evil Empire are
involved.
It pissed me off royally, so I called Lorena and told her the
plan might change.
I'll be dammed if I pay $680 for tickets that were $420 yesterday.
Hey, I can go to Vegas and get a room for $179 that's better
than any room in San Francisco.
I was pissed off enough to do it, too.
I called some travel agents and they all said,
"Maybe if you wait, the prices will come down."
You know what that means - the price gougers at American
will call the price-gougers at United,
then hook up with the price gougers at TWA and they'll all lower
fares on the same day,
and that's horseshit.
But she wants to go to San Fran, and you know who's going to win that argument...
So I kept digging, and I found a deal with never-had-a-crash Southwest
Airlines.
By Koresh, they'll take us to San Jose for $390
ha ha
You crooked bastards thought you had me, didn't you?
Hey, American, United and TWA - you guys can take your Republican
price gouging
and shove your we've-all-crashed airfare where Rush keeps his
gerbils.
So, I book my deal over the internet with SW and get all locked
in for $390
But then...
but then...
but then I check my new itinerary, and I see some major horseshit
there, too.
To fly to San Jose, we have to take the flight to VEGAS and change
planes.
Huh?
If I can fly from K-Drag to Vegas to San Jose for $89
(one person, one way)
how much does it cost to fly just to Vegas?
Sitting down?
$139
But, ...but, ...but, ...how can that
be?
It costs $89 to fly THRU Vegas, but if I get off the plane there,
I pay a $50 penalty?
What kind of horseshit
is that?
It costs $53 to fly from Vegas to San Jose,
but they charge $50 LESS if you're coming from K-Drag?
Something's reeeeeeeeealy wrong here.
I'm getting a handjob from somebody, and I don't know
who!
I hate when that happens.
But, Lorena is happy, and that's all that counts.
(You can check this yourself - this is no comedy bit. go to www.iflyswa.com)
Punch in K-Drag to Vegas & back, then K-Drag to San Jose
& back)
It's a screwy deal but I have an imposter in the
White House, so I'm gonna put
this in the "get to it later" pile until we have a rightfully
elected president again.
If you're going to San Francisco,
be sure to wear some flowers in your hair..
If you're going, to San Francisco,
you're going to meet a lot of gentle people there...
Bob Costas and Pigboy Argue
Well, I have to raise my respect for motormouth Bob Costas a little.
He was on Pigboy's show today and they actually had an exchange
of ideas,
instead of the usual fawning and fellating that every guest offers
Rush.
In the Rush interview Costas did for KMOX in St Louis, Costas
closed it
by asking Rush if his constant making fun of Jesse Jackson and
Jocylen Elders
didn't perhaps send the wrong signal to the caveman bigots in
the GOP.
To his DIScredit, Costas let Rush hijack the question and
start yakking about
back in 1964 how some Demos voted against the Civil Rights Act,
which doesn't
have a goddamn thing to do with the question Costas asked in
2001.
Pigboy got all indignant and asked why the question was even brought
up.
Costas started fawning again, but he held his ground somewhat,
no doubt
to get another interview down the line with the vulgar Pigboy.
In all the years Rush has been on the air, this was the closest
thing to a debate
I've ever sen him involved in, and it warmed my heart to see
the ugly shit have to
dance away from the question because, like the BartCop Quiz,
had Rush answered
the question, he would've been unmasked as a racially biased
son of a bitch.
So, Costas goes up a notch or two (he's still lower than snake
shit) and the vulgar Pigboy,
being forced into a semi-real exchange of ideas instead of the
usual hummer from a guest,
goes down a few more notches.
From: obo@peoplepc.com
Subject: STEEL MINE
In regards to your excellent picture of Dubya
asking "where's the steel mine"?
It's definatly not in Pittsburgh.It must be in
Italy because thats where the powers
that be in Pittsburgh imported the steel to build
their new baseball stadium.
My aunts sisters daughter works for Wheeling pitt
steel.They have pictures
of steel being unloaded from barges in Pittsburgh
that was imported from Italy.
The great steel city my freepin ass.And you dimwitts
in Pittsburgh keep attending
the games while your fellow Americans are losing
their jobs due to imports.
I will never attend a game in this stadium and
sure hope a lot of others do the same.
Note: For the record, there are no "steel mines" anywhere.
From: scipio2000@hotmail.com
Subject: Bush's Phony, Photo Op Ranch...
He didn't even BUY the ranch in Crawfod until
2 years ago!!!
Now he acts like he was born and raised there!
And the dummy press corps buys it hook line and
sinker!
http://www.tnr.com/082701/lizza082701.html
Phillip
Phillip, there's an often-told story in that link you sent - the one
where
Clinton went to the Tetons because Dick Morris said he should.
Has that every been verified by an objective source?
Or is this just Dick Morris being so "terribly important" to
the president?
We've heard that story a thousand times, but like most Clinton stories,
it's just horseshit until
it's verified and I don't think it's been verified.
Remember one of the very first presidential horseshit
stories we heard?
It was the one where Bill Clinton, in all his riding-a-white-horse
arrogance,
shut down the entire LA airport so Kristof could give him a
$200 haircut.
Remember that horseshit?
Just like the White House vandalism and stripping Air Force One, they
ALL
reported it as tho it really happened, but it was all just Rush-inspired
fabrication.
Koresh, even in K-Drag, Oklahoma, they have more than one runway.
So how did Clinton's plane hogtie the LA airport for two hours?
The press had no business running that stupid lie - but they did.
And here comes another reminder of the dirty whore press, making the
claim that
Clinton went to the Tetons to convince swing voters he was an outdoors
kind of guy.
Reminder:
I'm not saying the Teton story MUST be false on its face.
And sure, it's physically possible that Clinton ordered Air Force One
to straddle as many
intersecting runways at LAX as possible so Kristof could cut
his damn hair.
But if all we have is the word of Dick Morris and the whore press,
it's pretty safe to assume both are lying.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"The Bush tax cut prevented the recession.
Why, if you're in Nacodoches, Texas,
that $300 means a lot.
You could pay the phone bill or the
electric bill with that money."
-- El Chupacabra, second hour yesterday
ha ha
You mean that wimpy-ass $300 that went to some taxpayers?
That $300 turned around our multi-trillion dollar economy?
What is that, ...creation economics?
I'll tell you what might've turned around the oncoming recession:
The
BartCop Tax Plan with $1500 dollars going to every
taxpayer.
That would've put real money into a family's hands, enough
for them to actually
purchase some durable goods or make a down payment on a car,
and my plan only
costs $300 billion, about 4/5 less than Smirky's giveaway to
the super-rich.
You're right, Rush.
That family in Nacodoches can use the "great rebate" to pay part
of the August
electric bill but then it's gone - so how does that help jump
start America's economy?
From: wdp@fancygetfiredjob.com
Subject: 57 Times - Reagan Testimony | Vegas baby!
Yo BC!
Hey man, we're headed to Vegas on Wednesday. Your
timing with the
tips on what to see could not have been any better!
Thanks a lot!
I got into a debate with 6 ditto-monkeys on Saturday
- a tale I really need to share with you
when I have the time. At one point, I brought
up Reagan's testimony regarding Iran-Contra
and the fact that he said "I don't remember"
57 times - a stat that I remembered reading a while
ago from your site. I'm having trouble finding
it right now. Can you help?
Cheers!
Wallace
P.S. I'm donating 50% of my winnings to the treehouse.
P.P.S. Don't count on it - this will be my first
time in Lost Wages
and I'm an inexperienced gambler.
Wallace, no telling where that story is, but it's true as hell.
Vegas Tip - It's possible to win playing the slots or the roulette
wheel,
but blackjack is the only place where the odds are actually with you.
They pay 1.5 times on a blackjack, but you can only lose your
money once.
Good luck, and write a detailed trip report - where you stayed,
how the room was,
where you ate, what you drank, did you see any shows, which casino
had the hottest
cocktail waitresses - and be sure to watch for those hookers!
Las Vegas hookers are the best in the world!
Are you going to Area 51?
Bush leads
country from A-OK to IOU
by Bill Press
Excerpt:
Impeachment hearings, anyone?
Bill, who are you kidding?
The Democrats don't have the balls to express displeasure with a stolen
election.
They don't have the courage to vote "no" on confirming religio-crazies
and Nazis.
They're afraid to ask for proof on the vandalism and Air Force One
lies.
They're not going to do anything that might displease Mr. Rove.
is
hopping today, or should I say Hopkins?
There's all kinds of goodies there...
Alex's report, The Monks, Chocolat, Smokinggun.com
news
...and the TV season hasn't even started!
This could be bigger than priceline.com
From: Willster1@aol.com
Subject: I found this interesting
I was doing a search on the Internet, trying to
find someplace that keeps a running tally
on the number of jobs lost since the Bush cartel
usurped the will of the Amiercan People.
In the process, I ran across this story. Notice
the date: February 7.
http://www.amarillonet.com/stories/020701/usn_talkcould.shtml
Excerpt:
"We have gone from fighting about who will be
president, which played a role in deflating
consumer confidence, to talking about how
large the tax cuts will be and when they will come,"
said Mark Zandi, head of Economy.com, a
Pennsylvania forecasting firm.
"That is a refreshing change that should
help boost confidence."
Wow! What a crystal ball that guy must have.
Do you see the way consumer confidence
has skyrocketed lately?
Maybe the consumers they are talking about
are the oil companies and defense contractors.
ha ha
Good one!
GOP Congressman
Admits Election Fraud History
Probe Opens Into Rep.'s Residency
PHOENIX (AP) - A congressman has admitted that
he never lived in the precinct
where he has voted during his 41 years as an
elected official.
Rep. Bob Stump, R-Ariz., said that since 1980
he has lived in Phoenix, 17 miles from the
80-acre farm in Tolleson that he lists as his
voting address. Arizona elections director
Jessica Funkhouser said she will look into the
matter.
Residency is not a requirement for a congressional
run, but is a requirement for voting.
State laws require that voters cast ballots where
they have "actual physical presence."
"It's a serious allegation," Funkhouser told The Arizona Republic on Tuesday.
Stump said he has farmed in the Tolleson area
all his life, but never lived there.
Stump spokeswoman Lisa Atkins told the Republic
that the congressman
has taken no action to change his registration.
Hey, why should he?
The Democrats have proven they don't mind a little election fraud.
They don't mind a LOT of election fraud - as long as they get their
Thanksgiving
turkey.
Oh, Christ, how did I get in this party of scared bunnies?
From a GOP lady I need to tell you about
Headlines: Year 2055
1. Florida is finally readmitted to the union.
2. Spotted Owl plague now threatens Western crops & livestock.
3. George Z. Bush says he will run for President.
4. 50 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
5. Nursing home event--Clinton denies Candy Striper allegations.
6. Texas executes last remaining citizen.
7. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
8. Baby conceived naturally..... Scientists stumped.
9. DC police say 110th interview with Condit "productive"
10. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.
11. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.
12. Unionized Chinese workers now making 4,000,000,000
yen an hour.
American owned
businesses now returning to cheap labor in USA.
13. White minority demands civil rights and reparations.
14. New California law requires that all machetes,
steak knives
and baseball bats
be registered before January 2056.
Gov. Bush Decries Shark Coverage
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) Gov. Jeb Bush decried widespread
media coverage
of shark attacks in the area, calling it unfair
and harmful to tourism.
There have been at least 20 shark attacks off
Volusia County this year,
almost half the number reported in the world.
Ten have occurred since Aug. 18.
Most have come along a popular surfing and swimming
area at New Smyrna Beach,
about 15 miles south of Daytona Beach. A one-mile
stretch of beach was closed last week
because sharks were prowling offshore, lured
by the small fish they feed on.
After a helicopter flyover Wednesday, officials reopened a half-mile stretch of the beach.
"The water has cleared up a little bit, and we
did not spot any alarming numbers of sharks,''
Beach Patrol Deputy Chief Joe Wooden.
New Smyrna Beach's tourism industry has taken
a hit because of the shark attacks,
and Bush said Wednesday media hype is partly
to blame.
Doesn't this read like the script for the originals Jaws?
"Greedy, heartless public officials risk lives for tourist dollars?"
I love that, "we did not spot any alarming
numbers of sharks,"
as tho 30-40 sharks is much preferable to 60-80 sharks.
Update on The
Death of Lori Klausutis, whose body was found
in the offices of U.S. Rep. Joe Scarborough, (R-Coronerbribed)
who wisely chose
not to run for re-election so he wouldn't have to answer
any questions.
My President Clinton trading cards came in.
It's kind of sad, looking back.
The last president constitutionally elected by the people.
The last president who was never convicted of a crime.
The last president who put the nation before his personal greed.
The last non-cocaine president.
The last president who wasn't wholly owned by BIG OIL.
The last president who tried to stop a war, instead of snorting
his way thru it while AWOL.
The last president who could actually answer questions without
a script from Cheney.
The last president who could walk among the people without having
actors bussed in
from various outlets to pretend to fawn over "his greatness."
The last president who wasn't afraid to walk in a McDonalds restaurant
because he feared Ronald McDonald might outwit him in an impromtu
debate.
<big sigh...>
Those were the days, my friend,
we thought they'd never end...
From: norman@plankity.com
Subject: I figured it out...
Hey BC:
The situation in Waterbury, CT is thus: Republiklan
Giordano bankrupted the city --
the state had to take it over and residents face
a whopping 30% tax increase.
When it turned out Giordano was doinking little
girls (8 and 10 years old) he refused to resign
until he got a deal: he gets to keep his title,
half of his pay and all his benefits (the rationale being
that an impeachment trial would have put the
city further into debt). The day after the deal was signed,
Giordano's wife and kids moved away.
This may explain why Smirk squandered the surplus
and put the 'straitjacket' on Congress... when
there's lots of dough for everyone, you can fund
lengthy and expensive inquisitions, like Starr's
N--
Norm, he doesn't have to worry.
Karl Rove won't approve any investigations.
The Democrats are too afraid to act without Rove's permission.
Tails of Religion
From: blulight2@lycos.com
Subject: Ouija Boards...
BC,
Thanks for included my note about the price increase in fuel on your site.
But the really enjoyable thing is that you included
my email address.
I received a post from Lanny who was attempting
to convince me that the only
reasons fuel prices are high are because the
democrats have jacked-up the amount
of federal taxes on gasoline and that there's
not enough exploration for new oil fields,
(but it's the refinery fire that caused the hike
in prices, right?).
Some people need to see their specialist for a
new prescription and maybe some intensive group therapy.
I dunno about Lanny, is he still living in a
bus terminal? Reagan never should of cut funding for his
treatment back in the 80's -- see what happens
with trickle-down health care?
Anyway, sending you a note and having you post
it is like a session with the ol' Ouija Board
-- you just don't know what kind of messages
you're going to receive in return.
Some good spirits, some demons
Mick
Mick, yeah, Lanny lives and breathes bartcop.com
He spends more time on it each day than I do.
It's his whole life... poor bastard.
Someone wrote to say that an old but very important story had a bad link.
It's what Rush called for years and years, "The biggest lie in history."
Of course, it was Rush who was doing all the lying and I have the proof.
Click Here to read this proof story about "The biggest lie in history."
From: jstone@axs.net
Subject: Fried Chicken and Okra
Hey BC !!!
Tried your chicken dredge last night --- great ....
BTW ... use peanut oil ... don't by the store
brand vegie oil ... make sure it's hot ....
Olive oil would probably be better .... but I
don't get an ADM check.
If you can find Okra you can sautee it (sprinkle
some cornmeal on it first --with pepper)
in some of that cheap oil ... but add just a
little toasted sesame oil .... yummies -- I love August.....
John
From: joeb@buckeyeinet.com
Subject: Have a recipe site!!!!!!!
Morning Bart
Read the letter from Michelle about fried chicken
that is a good recipe.
I`m always looking for new ways to cook especially
the Boss who liked your fried chicken technique.
.
Adios
joeb
John and Joe, thanks for that.
If anyone is interested in the chicken recipe, go to http://www.bartcop.com/chicken.htm
There's been some talk of having a small recipe section.
Think it would work?
We couldn't get hardly anyone interested in sports, so would recipes
fly?
BTW, football season has started!
My Razorbacks won last night with 18 seconds on the clock.
But what do you think about the sports section or a recipe section?
Should we keep trying with sports - or just admit defeat and let it
die?
And - would a food/recipies section likely suffer the same fate?
My brother used to tell this story.
When he was in the seminary, studying to be a priest, his class was
given a writing assignment by the priest.
Someone asked how long the essay should be, and the priest gave this
answer:
"It should be like a woman's dress. Long enough
to cover the subject,
but short enough to keep it interesting."
We all thought that was real cool - a priest acknowledging the forbidden
fruit,
the forbidden fruit he could never taste, not ever, not even
once,
not even on his birthday,
not even on New Year's Eve,
not even on his deathbed.
Never, ...ever.
So, the other day I was rifling thru the USA Whore Today, and
saw this.
It was in an article talking about how teen stars and rock stars influence
the fashion trends
and the problems mothers were having explaining to their curtain climbers
that they're not
allowed to dress like the untalented tramps they see every day on the
television.
I'm really old, and I've never seen anything like those pants.
That's the shortest distance I've ever seen between the crotch
at the pants clasp.
What is it, about 3-4 inches?
When I saw this picture, I thought of that Catholic priest from all
those years ago.
I think he'd have to give Britney a very low grade for covering
the subject,
because she just barely covered it using the most liberal interpretation
of the word.
But then he'd have to turn around and give her a high grade for keeping
it interesting.
Of course, then that poor priest would go back to his room and pleasure
himself,
committing a mortal sin against God and the Catholic Church, but is
that his fault?
If a horse is thirsty, and you lead him to water, do you condemn him
for taking a drink?
The priest didn't ask for those hormones. He didn't write the human
sexuality program.
Besides, God didn't make that nutty celibacy rule, did he?
No, some nun-having Pope invented that crazy rule.
And since the Catholics are like the GOP when it comes to accepting
necessary changes,
they stick with that crazy rule from centuries past, and what is the
end result?
Endless sexual abuse lawsuits and burned churches.
From: hermit13@enteract.com
Subject: Truly nutty increase in gas prices
BC:
The Rape of the Midwest does indeed continue:
Took a drive out to Dixon, IL; birthplace
of the Gypper (didn't visit the Raygun childhood
home, tho), about two weeks ago and bought
premium for $1.33/gal out on I-88 west of Aurora
- then yesterday saw premium prices around
Chicago at $2.34/gal but had to buy, so...
Yeah, yeah, I know; different county, different taxes,
but c'mon - $1.01 in two weeks 'cause of a refinery
fire?
You'd think that Joliet was the only refinery
in the region.
Hell, a couple of years ago the refinery down
in Blue Island used to blow up on an almost monthly
basis and we never saw price spikes, especially
not like this. Such bullshit.
We're being laughed at, people, everytime we
take an increase like this lying down.
d
Dave,
BIG OIL needs the extra hundreds of millions to recoup their 2000 campaign
expendituresm,
then they need to replenish their coffers for Smirk's 2004 charade.
The BIG OIL rape spree will continue until the Democrats stand up.
But they're too afraid - Mr. Rove might not like it...
The Democrats DON"T WANT to win.
They're too afraid.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
