POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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George
McGovern, War Hero
by Mark Shields, part-time Democrat
Excerpt:
For working in that 1972 campaign, I was
called a "McGovernite." That's OK as long as those
doing the calling, the Newt Gingriches,
the Dick Armeys and the Phil Gramms and the Trent Lotts
and the Pat Buchanans and the Tom DeLays
-- none of whom, unlike the heroic McGovern,
ever answered his nation's call to service
-- will agree to call themselves a "Nixonite."
Back-stabbing SOB strikes again.
Bush
Puts Freeze on Aid for Utility Bills
President delays releasing $300 million to help low-incomes
avoid shut-offs
Excerpt:
When Bush visited California in May, he
pledged to seek $150 million to help low-income
households pay high energy bills, saying,
"I
hope Congress acts quickly."
Congress in July authorized $300 million to help energy consumers nationwide, double the president's request.
But today, none of the emergency
aid has been allocated, although officials in California and other states
say the
money is still desperately needed to help
families pay off high bills from last winter and avoid utility shut-offs.
What does this son of a bitch want?
He has his oil friends jack up energy prices 1000 percent, then
promises the people aid,
then he holds onto it, no doubt to eventually funnel it to his
super-rich corporate friends.
Can we survive 4 years with this crooked moron stealing from the Treasury?
Cheney Defies
GAO's Disclosure Demand
Information on Energy Policy Sought
Washington
Whore Post 9/7/01
Vice President Cheney yesterday continued to defy
U.S. Comptroller General David Walker's
demand that he disclose information on the development
of the administration's energy policy,
setting up a possible court showdown between
the executive and legislative branches.
Trust me, Cheney's not worried.
He knows the Democrats are spineless and nutless.
From: dogfolks@cape.com
Subject: Limericks for John Fund
Bart,
You didn't even mention John Fund in today's
issue.
I'm sure you've heard all about it if you've
been over to MWO.
Anyway, Fund is fond of limericks, as it turns
out.
So, I sent him a couple.
There once was a newspaper editor,
Who thought no one should know that he'd bedded
her.
But she got him on tape,
And, boy, he went APE!
Now everyone knows he's a predator.
There once was a cad named John Fund.
A mother and daughter he ruined.
But, now he's been hosed,
Completely exposed -
The south end of a north bound dachshund!
ha ha
ha ha
Jack at jack@democratic-alliance.com
is the
winner of the Julie Hiatt Steele autograph
Quotes
"In our country, we wouldn't let judges pick
the president. I know that
in various nations, judges were
in the pocket of executive officials --
I just didn't know that was so
in the United States,''
-- a Russian justice in Newsweek
It didn't used to be that way.
I'm so old, I remember when America had free elections...
Heading for lunch, I caught some Jim
Rome sports radio.
He read a letter from a beer vendor who used to work Smirk's
section at Arlington Stadium.
He said W & friends were such an ill-tempered shits, and
non-tippers, that when he sold them beer,
each time, they would insist on getting back the 25 cents in
change.
He said it was very embarrassing for these multi-millionaires
to be passing a quarter from one ass to
the next so the guy at the end could be sure not to tip the kid
working his part-time job at the stadium.
He said he got even by not going down to Smirk's row,
making it hard for Weak & Stupid to get a beer in
his own stadium.
Why is it always the super-rich guys who are the worst tippers?
...and why are the super-rich always whining about having to
pay taxes?
Don't they know that anyone would trade places with them,
so they could complain about paying a million dollars in taxes?
No wonder he's silent.
He's holding in the smoke.
El Pigbo is going on and on and on and on and on and on
about how great Nebraka's football team is this year.
In Oklahoma, you see this bumper sticker.
On the Seventh
Day, God created the Cornhuskers,
and on
the eighth day, OU kicked their ass.
From: drone@rccis.com
Subject: Kenneth Starr anagrams sounds boring as hell...
...but these are really good, and some are uncanny.
The phrase "independent counsel Kenneth Starr"
can be rearranged into the following:
Unrepentant dick! Nerd, nonetheless.
Nine-tenths drunken pre-adolescent.
He's insulted nonrepentant redneck.
Drunk ensnared the penile contents.
Spank not the unelected nerd sinner.
No? Then kneel, prurient descendants!
Unelected; ensnared ten. Thinks porn.
ha ha
I know someone who'll get a real kick out of that...
Quotes
"People who are not fans of the president
are going to like your site."
-- George Hager of C-Span, telling the
truth, staring at Volume 513
NRA opens
branch offices in San Fran, Sacramento
Unveils new slogan, "Over Two Million Shot"
Shocker!
"If [Gore] had 'one more day - one more day,'
Souter told the students,
he believed he would have prevailed,"
according to the current Newsweek.
Sex Police 'hard' at work in Miami
Excerpt:
When he first walked into the bathroom,
he heard what sounded like Logan masturbating
inside the stall, Eugene testified. Then
he spotted Logan through the partly opened door
and confirmed the former lawmaker was pleasuring
himself.
Finally, he walked into an adjacent stall
and saw through a baseball-size peephole that Logan
was still masturbating, he said. Logan,
the officer testified, was now staring at him in return.
Let's see...
Fireman enter burning, crumbling building to pull unconscious
children to safety.
Cops peep thru holes in public bathroom stalls hoping to catch
a glimpse of something nasty.
...I think I like firemen better.
JH Steele Update
I talked to her Saturday night.
She made a deal for her new place, but she hasn't seen it yet.
She was supposed to move in Sunday (yesterday) - I might
get an update tonight.
She told me she's been searching for a cartoon.
It ran the day her trial started, either Jan 9 or 19th 1999,
I think.
I think it ran in the New York Daily News.
They promised - twice - to send her a copy, but they didn't.
It showed a tiny woman sitting under the hot lights (had 'JH Steele'
written on her purse on the floor)
and it showed three huge goons with "IOC"
on their Nazi-like armbands.
One of the nasty pricks had a Starr on his coat.
It's possible the toon says, "The IOC
just doesn't get it."
Is there an archive of old cartoons somewhere?
If you finders and diggers could locate that toon for her,
she'd like to frame it and hang it on her wall.
She'd be very grateful if someone could find that toon and send
it in.
I'll bet you'd get a personal thank you from her.
Then you could put that on your wall.
Also, the plans are still go for her arrival here.
The day after she tells me she's moved in, she'll have a computer
delivered.
A few days after that...
Here's a hair-raising Ode to the Moral Majority
Excerpt:
Stodgy ayatollahs in their dobble-knit
ties
Burn lots of books so they can feed you
their lies
Masturbating with a flag and a bible
God must be dead if you're alive
From: hc53@peoplepc.com
Subject: Bill Press & Bucky Barbara Olson on C-Span
C-Span had a great Sunday morning call in show
featuring Bill Press and Bucky Barb Olsen.
I didn't catch all of it but I did get to hear
three callers that ripped into Bucky.
The first called her a "devil " for the hatred
shes' shown and still holds towards the Clintons,
especially Hillary. The second accused
her and the Repug machine she backs of being" facists",
and the third who claimed to be an ex-repug turned
Independant since the coup called her a "witch"
for enriching herself writing hatefilled books
about the Clintons.
I was encouraged to find out I'm not alone in
my feelings
about this sad excuse of a human being!
HC
There's a lot of buzz about that.
Wish I'd seen it.
Quotes
"Congress for too long has been on fishing
expeditions and endless investigations."
-- Ari Fleischer, explaining why this White
House is ignoring congressional subpoenas.
From: vivaldi1@freedom.net
Hey Bart look what the hypocrites are doing now,
using a Dan Burton subpoena for
Clinton campaign finance records to support their
claims of "executive privilege" and
stymie Waxman/GAO investigations into Cheney's
"energy club".
They loved it when Danny Boy went after Bill,
but now that the shoe is on the other foot
they don't want to be seen as partisan.
And they hope to gain pink tu-tu Democrat support
to cover up their own crimes. After all,
thought Karl Rove no doubt, 'if we can steal an
election we can overlook a few financing improprieties
from 5 years ago'.
These bastards make me sick.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A1545-2001Sep9.html
Vivaldi,
You can depend on the Democrats to cave in.
They're so scared...
There's an important story at MWO you should see:
LEONARD
DOWNIE REPORTER "STENO SUE"
REVEALED
AS TOOL OF KENNETH STARR!
It's about how the Washington Whore Post abandoned their fact-checking
to go with every wild (and illegal) slur that Starr leaked against
the Clintons.
You'll be glad you did.
MWO is becoming one of the most important sites on the www.
The best writer on the www?
The
Economy's `Dolt Factor'
by Robert Parry at consortiumnews.com
Excerpt:
To other Americans, Bush’s protestations
of concern may have the hollow ring of his
father’s famous recitation of a talking
point during the 1992 campaign, “Message: I care.”
Or the younger Bush's own garbled expression
of sympathy for the average Joe in the
2000 campaign: “I know how hard it is for
you to put food on your family.”
The younger Bush might be missing another
important point. During an economic slump,
Americans expect more from a president
than sympathy and awareness of the obvious.
They want someone who can rally the nation
out of its economic doldrums
and instill a confident can-do spirit.
Hell, I'd be satisfied if The Dolt would just stop plundering
the treasury
to give taxpayer billions to his rich friends & buddies
in the oil business.
From: EBax@bigfancygubmentjob.gov
Subject: sunday's c-span, second hour
bucky olson and bill press were the guests.
one caller got through and mentioned
laura bush killing someone in a car accident
when she was a teenager. bill press knew
about it, but said it was irrelevant. bucky
said she knew nothing about it, but you could
tell by looking that she was lying through her
teeth. :^)
and then there was another caller who got through
who called bucky "the most evil woman around."
what a wonderful sunday morning!
ha ha
When it comes to Laura Bush killing her fiance, I have no burning desire
to run
that story to death, but isn't it funny that only 10 percent of America
knows the
First Lady killed her fiance, but 99 percent "know" Hillary "murdered"
Vince Foster?
The Clinton rumors get elevated to fact by the whore press,
and the facts remian uncovered because Karl Rove demands it,
and the whore press always does what Mr. Rove wants.
Do the folks at TV Land read bartcop.com ?
In an apparent take off on our World
War II Project 60
TV land is doing Project
50 on I
Love Lucy.
On October 15th, 2001, they're running the first I
Love Lucy
fifty years to the day it first premiered, with others to follow.
President Weak & Stupid on his father's recession
"The economy is moving in the right direction." --10/4/91
"I don't want to buy into the predicate about another recession. I don't feel that way." --10/25/91
"The economy's turned the corner, headed for recovery." --10/31/91
"I'm not prepared to say we are in a recession." --11/8/91
"It will not be a deep recession." --1/4/92
"The economy is in free-fall." --1/15/92
Ripken honored before final game in Seattle
SEATTLE (AP) -- The fans who cheered Cal Ripken's
home run in his final All-Star game this summer
showed their appreciation again Sunday.
Ripken was honored by a sellout Seattle crowd. Mariners manager
Lou Piniella presented Ripken with a white Seattle
jersey with his No. 8 signed by the Mariners players.
Each Seattle player shook his hand, and the fans
gave him a long standing ovation. A plaque in his honor
was hung in the visitor's bullpen near where
his July 10 home run landed.
He waved and tipped his hat to the fans.
"It's overwhelming,'' Ripken said of his
farewell tour before Sunday's ceremony.
"I really didn't expect all this. There's
a lot of heart and support in the stands. It's been great.''
Huge letters CAL were written in the dirt behind
second base.
"Cal, Cal, Cal!'' fans screamed when he
walked onto the field before the game.
His final trip to Seattle for the three-game
series was special for Ripken.
"The environment is so exciting. It's always
been an exciting baseball place to come.
With the Mariners doing so well, a
new stadium, you come in here and get energized.''
At the former Kingdome here, Ripken set career
highs with three home runs and eight RBIs on May 28, 1996.
He hit a grand slam off Mike Jackson and two-run
homers off Bob Wolcott and Scott Davison.
Orioles manager Mike Hargrove is not growing tired
of all the Ripken recognition.
"I think it's good for our kids to see the
results that are there if you have the talent Cal does,
but also conduct yourself the way Cal
has on and off the field,'' Hargrove said.
You gotta respect Cal Ripken.
He's everything Barry Bonds isn't.
The Fence around the White
House
by Mike Lordi
Deja
Vu
by Isaac Peterson
Excerpt:
When Clinton's policies went into effect,
unemployment went down, corporate profits went up,
the deficit went down, the surplus sky-rocketed,
and so on and so forth. It took Bushzilla and
Left My Heart in Wyoming practically overnight
to reverse all that. See, we needed a
'new direction', and we got it.
It's just that they didn't say the direction would be straight down.
I
Can't Take It Anymore
by Maureen Dowd
She hates everybody - this time it's President Dumb and
Crooked
Excerpt:
The fanfare for the common man rings hollow,
given that Bush Inc. is refusing to turn over
documents to Congress about the secret
deliberations of Dick Cheney and energy lobbyists
cooking up their drill & spill energy
plan and is knocking down regulatory hurdles, further pleasing
Big Energy, Big Media, Big Oil, Big Tobacco,
Big Telecom and Big Weapons Manufacturers.
Hey, Modo, there you go again...
Looking around for someone else to blame for this monster
stealing the White House.
If you'd been more of an honest columnist and less of a whore,
the smarter candidate,
the one who's not a puppet for Big
Energy, Big Media, Big Oil, Big Tobacco,
Big Telecom and Big Weapons Manufacturerswould've
had a fair shot at winning,
but you thought you'd kidnap the truth,
shoot it in the head, throw it in the trunk of a car,
drive it 30 miles out of town and bury
it in a shallow grave near a bridge.
Truth is, it was the Washington whore press
corp, of which you're a member,
that refused to ask the questions, refused
to print the truth, and refused to play fair
when you accused Al Gore of every lie he
never told.
...and they give Pulitzers for whoring?
Amazing...
Lanny the Stalker
Lanny is terribly obsessed with this website.
His obsession doesn't seem sexual, at least not yet.
I have a lot of experience with stalkers (my sixth year) and
Lanny seems to
have BartCop Fever worse than any of the other stalkers
who obsess here.
He lives and breathes bartcop.com 24/7 and
feels compelled to write anyone who's been published.
Then he sends them endless photos of himself saying, "Ain't
I a handsome guy?"
Of course, he could be The Bird, because he endlessly promotes
the bird's website,
and he also goes by Bubba something and he has another "L.K."
identity, ...I forget.
Please don't answer him and send a cc to me,
because he'll answer you a dozen times and send cc's to me.
It's very flattering to have so many stakers, ...I guess, ...but
there are so many other
anti-Pinhead-from-Texas sites on the www, I wish he'd branch
out a little.
Jacko's
Odd, Awful Show
That Michael Jackson. He's always
innovating.
Excerpt:
Instead of delivering the tight, well-paced
performance an average star might, this mega-deity
went a ground-breaking route by allowing
his show to amble on with endless unexplained pauses,
ballooning the entire night to a fascinatingly
shapeless event of almost five hours.
Unsettled
Scores
Past as prelude: The economy’s in trouble,
Gore is stirring
and in Florida the ghosts of 2000 are
returning to battle anew
Another Dowd-ish whore tries to figure out how The Fraud stole
the White House.
I'm getting pretty fed up with all this media hand-wringing.
"How could this have happened?
What went wrong?"
A collective "Go to hell" to every one of you lazy sons of bitches.
You had every opportunity, before and after the election - to
play fair.
You remained silent while the Bush Family Evil Empire claimed
Smirk was competent.
You remained silent on the Bush AWOL story.
You remained silent on the cocaine issue.
You remained silent on the arrest record of this empty-headed
fraud.
You remained silent about the fact he'd never worked a day in
his life,
and never got near a business deal that Daddy didn't set up
for him.
But you ran your mouth like a 12-year old girl when it came to
Al Gore.
You lied at every opportunity when you knew Gore was more
honest and more qualified.
When the truth wouldn't serve your needs, you bastards made
shit up.
You knew Al Gore would be boring, and you wanted to pad
your precious bottom line.
When the rapist started working on the window to the coed's dorm,
you sons of bitches could've called the cops and stopped the
crime.
But you knew "Coeds Raped"
would make a bigger headline than "Rapes prevented,"
so you sat there and gave each other high-fives while the crime
was going down.
Everybody towed the line for the Bush Family Evil Empire
for a better story.
So take your "How could this happen?"horseshit
and go screw yourselves.
When I want reliable reporting, I turn to the Internet where the
writers don't
fabricate shit they know isn't true just to please their
corporate whore masters.
From: jotho@optonline.net
Subject: Tequila
Though I've been drinking Tequila for about a
year now, the prospect of paying 50 bucks
for the Chinaco always seemed a
little daunting, and though i've seen shots of it in restaurants,
they were always 9-10 bucks....just couldn't
do it.
Went out with my wife, sister, and her husband
to a new restaurant last night and had to wait
at the bar for a bit. Spotted the Chinaco
Anejo and inquired about the price...the barkeep said
"about $5.50". I jumped right on that.
He poures at least 2-2 1/2 oz. into a snifter. Really great!
After dinner, went back to the bar...My brother-in-law
was poured a shot of Chinaco about
3 fingers high...in a snifter! I wanted
to taste a different one and ended up with 3 fingers of
Herradura Anejo...in a snifter.
His wife had a capuccino. Our bill? $13.75...
Can you believe it...and in NY, too!
I preferred the Chinaco over the Herradura
by the way
(the Chinaco being far smoother
and less smoky-tasting...but was still very able to drink the Herradura),
and, so far Hussong's Reposado
and the Chinaco are my favorite sippers.
John
John,
I've been kidding about The Miracle at Canaan, but it's about
to come true.
Herradura, Patron and others have a higher
brand name recognition than Chinaco,
so those brands will run dry first. Once they're gone, the smart tequila
drinker will ask
the spirits dealer what other brands he would recommend.
Then the Chinaco will disappear overnight, while people
kick themselves, asking,
"Why did I waste my money on those lesser
brands? Now I discover this
superior delicacy just as fine
luxury tequila is running its last lap?"
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
