POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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Gene
Lyons
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@ the BartCop Collection
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Did Al Gore
win after all?
US newspapers would rather not say
Excerpt:
America's liberal newspaper establishment originally
set up the commission in the belief that it would discover
that Al Gore was the winner of the Florida count.
Their hope for a Gore victory appears to have been sacrificed
on the altar of patriotism and a perception that
America needs to be led into war by a strong president.
Words of
Wisdom from An Armor Master
by SFC Red Thomas (Ret)
Excerpt:
First; your skin will stop alpha particles, a
page of a news paper or your clothing will stop
beta particles, you just gotta try and avoid
inhaling dust that's contaminated with atoms that
are emitting these things and you'll be generally
safe from them. Gamma rays are particles
that travel like rays (quantum physics makes
my brain hurt) and they create the same damage
as alpha and beta particles only they keep going
and kill lots of cells as they go all the way
through your body. It takes a lot to stop these
things, lots of dense material, on the other
hand it takes a lot of this to kill you. Your
defense is as always to not panic.
Quotes
"Does anybody remember laughter?"
-- Robert Plant, July 28, 1973
From: josiejok@yahoo.com
Subject: Steve Buscemi
I think he deserves more than a shot--he deserves a BOTTLE of Chinaco:
When he heard the news of the attack on the WTC,
he went home, got his old equipment
(which he had kept), went down to the WTC, and
worked 60 hours straight.
Come to think of it, maybe he deserves a case!
Josie in NYC
Raw WTC Syndrome Feedback
Bastion of Dissent Offers Tribute to One of Its Heroes
Excerpt:
Danny Glover, the actor, called her a hero.
Alice Walker, the writer, called her inspiring.
The crowd, 3,500 strong, awaited her appearance
with the giddiness of autograph seekers
awaiting their favorite Hollywood star.
When Mr. Glover walked Ms. Lee to the podium
about two hours into the
program, the crowd gave her a Super Bowl
touchdown roar.
From: phoebeholmes@home.com
Subject: Re: Fundamental Fashion Parade
BC
Just curious, how small does a toon need to be to fit?
_Bee Bee
Bee Bee, it depends.
My toon shrinker is on my home computer, so I can do more there, but
in general,
20K is a good size for a toon to be. Marc Perkel's told me his
costs have doubled
so I need to make the cartoons as small as possible.
Citizen,
Can I See Your ID?
by Al Martin
Scary as Hell excerpt:
What has not been explained to the American people
is the reason why
35,000 Army Reservists and 65,000 National Guard
have been called up.
It is to maintain internal checkpoints.
It has nothing to do with the external "War on
Terrorism."
All of these people are being trained at the US
Army School of Urban Control at Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
CNN actually showed an urban training mock-up,
what they're training on, and what the new Internal
Security checkpoint is going to look like.
It was mighty sinister looking.
From: bushblowsus@yahoo.com
Subject: Shemo's letter
In Shemo's letter, you said, "If our founding
fathers agreed with you,
we'd have a English king instead of a Texas king
right now."
I don't think you realized the irony of that statement.
Considering the English 'king'
is Tony Blair, and the Texas one is Dubya, I
think I prefer the English at this point in time.
Do you think that if Tom Jefferson had had Nostradamus
to tell him that in 2000
an idiot from Texas would usurp the presidency,
he would have said,
"Ah, ta hell with it. Anyone who would let
that happen doesn't deserve freedom from tyranny."
Jeff Crook
A fist fight that would be fun to watch
Salman Rushdie vs. Cat Stevens
Sent by Eckhard Festag
I half-caught that Cat Stevens interview Saturday before the VH-1 gig.
If I
understood him correctly, he said he didn't really want Rushdie
dead,
but the Fatwah called for it, and you can't pick & choose
which Fatwahs
you're going to obey just like you can't pick & choose your
commandments.
Sounds to me like religion is the problem.
From: (withheld)
Subject: You're a girl
Once again I have to point out that you are a
fucking woman. We'll start with the concert.
You spent most of your comments putting down
people who performed. People who traveled
from around the world to be there. All the reviews
I read said The Who blew the doors off the place.
Not good enough for you.
I'm sorry we don't like the same groups.
Hopefully, your disappointment isn't terminal.
Besides, you have the reading retention skills of a ditto-monkey.
Sure, I've always thought The Who were posers, but what did I say about
them Saturday?
> Go boys, rock the night!
> Damn, look at 'em go...
> English groups are so good, ...even the bad groups don't suck.
> The Who set is, ...imperfect, but I choose to look at the positive.
> I'll bet The Who did some monster gigs in New York.
Yeah, that's some pretty awful stuff to say about your favorite group.
You wouldn't know good music if you stumbled into
a Stones recording session.
If it ain't Zeppelin or U2, to you its garbage.
Damn, you're close.
I think Garbage is the best band in the world right now.
If Garbage and U2 were playing the same night, I'd go see Garbage.
Thank God U2 didn't show up to ruin my evening.
Hopefully, the organizers realized they were
running out of time and gave the spot to Macy Gray instead of U2.
ha ha
Macy Gray? The woman who left the stage during the song?
You like her, huh?
Why don't you just worry about your local pig
farmers and let NY entertain itself.
If your 7 readers in the NY area actually took
anything you proclaim to heart,
we wouldn't even be able to root for the Yankees.
The one thing NY'ers have to cheer about,
the Yankees, have been called frauds, cheats,
liars and who knows what else by you in the last week.
Why don't you just shut the fuck up about anything
NY?
You can't just dummy up and let NY have its fun,
at least this year?
Let NY have its World Series, fixed or not.
ha ha
This has gotta be Rude Rich.
Rudy asked you to get back to normal - you've completed the journey.
Steinbrenner bought you a World Series.
Enjoy it, with my blessing.
And let's hope man-child Clemens doesn't throw bats at the other team.
THIS SAYS IT ALL!
Broken Arrow, Oklahoma - School officials
remove "God Bless America"
signs from schools in fear that someone
might be offended.
From: sonnentag@hotmail.com
Subject: Blaming Clinton
I keep getting this email about how if Clinton
had kept his promise each time he said we were
going to step up and combat terrorism, we wouldn't
be in this mess. It ends by referencing the
Microsoft case with an outright lie that we spent
more against Microsoft than against terrorism.
(even though the investigation into Microsoft
began before Bill was in the White House)
These people believe this crap!
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/news/technology/html98/micr_19991006.html
Investigating and prosecuting Microsoft for allegedly
breaking antitrust laws
has cost the Department of Justice $13.3 since
October 1989.
2.ABCNews C)1998
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/DailyNews/terrorism_programs.html
Anti-Terrorism Budget Explodes
The project is just one in hundreds launched by
the federal government in the past two years
to address terrorism threats. At least
40 different government offices are part of the nation's
still loosely organized effort, with a total
price tag of $6.6 billion on terrorism-related programs,
according to the General Accounting Office.
I thought that one was worth keeping!
Thanks,
EE
EE, yes, I get that e-mail a couple of times per day.
Just today, that ignorant horse molester Paul Harvey read the entire
lie on his whore show.
It's the epitome of whoredom to repeat that stupid lie, ...but
that's what whores do, right?
Some ditto-monkey made a list of every terror attack under Clinton and
then deduced
that had Clinton brought every perp to justice there would've been
no WTC disaster.
Of course, they "forget" to include Reagan and Bush in that hoseshit
because the facts hurt their lie.
After every terrorist attack under Reagan and Bush, they both swore
to track down and bring to
justice the perps, but instead they sent them sophisticated Stinger
missiles, then lied about it.
Since those crimes had nothing to do with Clinton's zipper - they're not real crimes.
So, instead of focusing on those REA:L CRIMES, Mr. Rove has ordered
that all American
media outlets focus on Bill Clinton's zipper because that's real news.
I wish we had a free press in America.
Quotes
"The gloves are off. The president has given
the agency the green light to do whatever is necessary.
Lethal operations that were unthinkable
pre-Sept. 11 are now underway.''
-- The Washington Post quoting a senior official
who says Bush
has signed an "intelligence
finding" for bin Laden's "destruction."
"Unthinkable" is a word that follows Bush around.
From: watsmata4u@monmouth.com
Subject: Standing O
I watched the concert at the American Legion
hall with about 25 republican leaning people.
Guess who got the biggest hand of the evening?
Bill Clinton.
Most of the people applauded when he got
finished talking.
I was surprised, I thought everyone would
be making Monica cracks.
He even got a bigger hand than Rudy.
Housekeeping
When we developed pictures from the west coast, we found
some pictures still in the camera from the east coast.
(see top picture)
Is that the last picture of the World Trade Centers to be developed?
From: sandyb_2001@hotmail.com
Subject: Whatreallyhappened.com makes sense
Stan Goff's premise on whatreallyhappened.com
makes sense. Smirk's actions or lack of action on
9/11/01 when he continued reading the goat story
makes me wonder what they told him had happened.
If you heard that the WTC had just been hit by
a hijacked plane wouldn't you stop reading the story,
make apologies to the kids and go DO something?
Wouldn't you scramble some defense planes
to find out what the remaining two planes were
up to?
And consider the tenacity that the Republicans
had when fighting to make sure that Al Gore wouldn't
win Florida. They knew they had to get
their party back in power after 8 years of a Democratic President.
If indeed we're on a downward spiral of oil production,
they couldn't afford another 4 years of
not being able to get their Afghan pipeline constructed
and that Turkmenistan oil flowing.
Sandy B
Sandy, too bad we don't live in a country with a free press.
In some countries, the press would look into charges that the unelected
leader
was using smoke and mirrors to steal the treasury and line his pockets
like a Marcos.
But in America, the press is afraid Mr. Rove might not like seeing the truth in print.
Quotes
"You can no longer say, 'If it's not
in the paper, it didn't happen.
You can say, 'The government
doesn't want us to know this.' "
-- Unknown
Matt Drudge hates Hillary so much he makes stuff up
PUBLIC
RELATIONS DEBACLE AFTER HILLARY BOOED BY HEROES
Hillary's inner circle is furious at Harvey Weinstein
after she suffered through a
public relations nightmare during Saturday's
CONCERT FOR NEW YORK.
Hillary and booed by thousands gathered at Madison
Square Garden as
she took to the stage -- unannounced -- to introduce
a movie clip.
VH1 cameras captured firemen and police heroes
wildly booing Clinton,
who attempted to raise her voice above the shouting
crowd.
That's how "fair and balanced" Matt Drudge saw it.
I mentioned in my report that she seemed to have been booed,
but why would they boo Hillary and cheer like crazy for Big Dog?
It doesn't make any sense.
Leave it to Marty at She knows what happened:
Oh, and a side-note on the 'boo-ing of Hillary'
at the McCartney concert---in reviewing the tape,
something happened during the ending of Macy
Gray's set....the chorus sang a line, and she shot them
a look that would have chilled Datan's soul,
and then she walked off, before the number was finished.
There are a couple of beats missed, and then,
frantically, there's Paul Shaffer cueing the back-up singers
to finish the chorus, they do, the band crescendo's
and the song 'ends'.
I believe what was perceived as booing for
Hillary was actually intended for Macy and her snit,
and that Hillary had to have stones of brass
to go out there & face that audience.
-- Marty
Now see?
That makes a lot of sense.
Koresh, if New York hated Hillary they wouldn't have elected her.
And if Big Dog got the biggest applause of the night - why hate his
wife?
...but when Matt Drudge can't find any dirt on the Clinton - he makes
shit up.
That's what press whores do - they make shit up.
From: (withheld)
Subject: The Jeb Bush Connection
Can anyone explain to me why Jebby Bush would
add to an EO he signed in January
(apparently in advance of any recount, basically
setting the stage for a declaration
of martial law in Florida) with the explicit
mention of terrorist attacks?
Why isn't the "liberal media" all over this?
You just know what it would be like
if it was (GASP!) Clinton who had done this.
And if the results of the NORC recount showed
the idiot-in-thief had actually
won Florida, why wouldn't the wingnuts want to
proclaim that far and wide?
I'm finding it hard to keep any hope alive these
days.
Thanks and keep up the great work.
Patricia S.
Las Vegas, NV
Patricia,
The media has strict orders from Mr. Rove not to embarrass the Thief.
They're afraid to make Mr. Rove angry, just like the gelding Democrats.
The Coward
Behind the Bully
by thediehard
Quotes
"Shouldn't we be doing something for
Florida?
I mean, we've been supporting
New York and Washington for standing up
to terrorism, so shouldn't we
suppoort Florida for giving us President Bush?"
- El Slurbo, first hour today
No, Rush, just thank Katherine Harris and Tony Scalia.
They're the ones who appointed the Boy King
From: scottop15@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: The Jeb Bush Connection
LMAO - until last Thursday I was a project manager
at a local phone company.
Thanks to the idiocy of "management", I now join
the ranks of the unemployed.
BTW, I moved here from NYC early last year :-)
Completely enjoyed your NYC trip report.
Brought back many fond memories. Yes, I
still get homesick.
As you can imagine, the destruction of the WTC
was kind of personal for me. I worked in that area
for over ten years. Lost a very good friend
(fire-fighter). They'll probably never find him.
My sister-in-law was in 1 WTC when it was hit;
she was one of the lucky ones who got out and away.
Looking forward to your SF report.
Thanks again; we need more like you out there.
P.
Patricia, thanks for that.
It's not a very popular position to take these days.
I'm still working on that damn SF trip report.
I probably have 20 hours in it so far and it's a 20 minute read.
No terrorist is going to ruin my wedding
WTC
Syndrome
We have a problem, and it's not Margaret
Shemo's fault,
but I thought giving it a name it might
be more recognizable in the future
This is Margaret Shemo's rebuttal to yesterday's
ugly argument:
From: mshemo@hotmail.com
Subject:Goodbye
That's sad.
Margaret is one of my favorite writers.
When I listed the great writers of the
web, I'd mention Robert Parry,
Gene Lyons, Joe Conason, Greg Palast, Tamara
Baker and Margaret Shemo.
But like most of the doves that have written
to me, Margaret lost her perspective.
She sees me in bed with President Weak
& Stupid, giggling as the innocent Afghans are dying.
She got very personal when attacking me
for having an opinion that differed from hers.
I became the enemy.
I became the "problem."
My tongue is still sore from biting it
during my reply to her,
but even that tepid reply was enough to
make her bail.
Why do I drag this ugliness out into the
light?
I've lost a lot of readers since September
11th.
I've lost a dozen close friends, and several
extra-close friends and years-long readers
who have sent me hundreds of e-mails over
the last few years.
Unless I'm mistaken, here's the pattern:
I take a position, sometimes an unpopular
one, and then my "good friends" write
to tell me what a cruel and ignorant motherfucker
I am. That's puzzling.
I don't mind when someone writes to say,
"You're
cheating because you defend 'A'
but you fail to defend 'B' and that
means you're not being honest with your readers."
No, I don't get those kinds of letters from old friends. I get:
But if bombing makes YOU feel better, it can't be all bad.
When things turn ugly I look to myself first,
because I sometimes have strong opinions
and I don't take the time to sugarcoat everything
and I can be abrasive.
But this is bigger than that.
The attrition rate of bartcop.com
readers has tripled since September 11th.
I know we can't change the past, but maybe if
people could recognize that
we're all still edgy from the WTC, and that turning
on each other won't help.
In summary (massive applause) before you hit "send"
on your hot little e-mail,
ask yourself if you're attacking something I
wrote, or if you're attacking me.
If you come after me, personally, I have to answer
in print, because I can't have
heavyweights like Margaret Shemo sending CCs
around the net saying,
"I put BartCop in his place with a hot letter
and he didn't even have the courage to print it."
If you come after me, I have to respond. Of course,
you always have the option of
attacking something I've
written instead of me, but that's up to you.
I don't blame Margaret for this.
I blame
WTC Syndrome.
Try to remember - we're all still on edge.
Let's not beat up each other.
From: jabbick2@swbell.net
Subject: War as NBC miniseries
Shemo 2, Bartcop 0.
JF Abbick
From: derek@NTI4.com
Subject: Margaret Shemo, Queen of the Doves
You wrote:
> "I hereby appoint Margaret Shemo as Queen of the Doves. You seem to
have just said,
> "If the fight looks difficult - surrender immediately to avoid making
your conquerers angry."
> Yes, I am on the other side of that. I'm with the "Fight back
and defend yourself" group."
Man! This has been my point all along. You are
calling people "Doves" who are not
(do you really think we want peace with the people
who attacked the WTC??????).
Just because we think the attacks on Afghanistan
is part of a strategy to gain control
of an oil rich region (the Caspian Basin) rather
than the propaganda that we are somehow
"fighting terrorism" is your own bullshit (and
if you consider that statement an "attack", well, it's not).
You call us cowards and doves. I assure you,
I am neither a coward nor a dove.
Derek, show me where I called you a coward.
The key to fighting the terrorists is taking away
their money, not bombing cities.
Of course to take money away from them would
mean an investigation into the
Bush crime family and their relationship to BCCI
and the Carlyle Group.
That would only be a start. But a good one.
But I guess you will label this email a "dove"
email too and consider it an attack against you personally.
I’m sorry if you feel that way. I like your web
page and consider you a really cool guy.
Derek
Derek, you are free to suggest a more accurate term (than Dove) for
those who insist that my goal is to murder innocent women and children.
I'm not shying away from some rough and tumble debate.
I'm saying let's remember that WTC
Syndrome is turning friends against each other.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.