Fair & balanced... 
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Fair & balanced...
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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From: ranman@hotmail.com
Subject: TIME'S Person of the Year selection?
Greetings:
Given all the craziness that has taken place
during this past 12 months,
I would like to read your thoughts about
who you think TIME magazine
should select as its Person of the Year.
Randy Goins
Tokyo
Randy, great question.
No doubt, the only possible man for the title is bin Laden.
In my opinion, September 11th was the biggest news day in history.
Bigger than Pearl Harbor or JFK's death, bigger than D-Day, bigger
than V-E or V-J day.
Since the criteria set forth by TIME is "the person who, for good
or bad, most affected the news,"
it's hard to give it to anybody other than the architect of the
world's biggest news event.
TIME stupidly calls this designation, "Person of the Year," as tho it's an honor.
The question is - will TIME follow the rules and make the right
call?
I say the answer is "No."
TIME isn't in the news magazine business.
It's in the business of selling advertising space.
If they do what they're supposed to do and name bin Laden,
they will get the most cancellations in their history - so they
won't.
They will eat their ethics and pick someone else.
That's what whores do - they protect their money niagra first,
and do what's right second, or third, or fifteenth, whatever
they can get away with.
If TIME makes bin Laden their Person
of the Year, I will eat my words.
I will say "TIME is a publication with
intergrity, who put profit second to honor,"
but that promise is as empty as the cavity where President Stupid's
brain should be.
Pigboy will fly before the American whore press lets a single nickle get away from them.
Caveat:
TIME might pull a Smirk-like straddle and change the name of the "honor."
They could drop, "Person of the Year" for "Newsmaker" or
some innocuous-sounding misnomer,
followed by a lengthy pack of horseshit
about how "misunderstood" their choice has always been.
That way, they can name bin Laden and keep their precious customers and
retain their
whore status with bartcop.com
PS. Mrs. BartCop says it'll be Guiliani, which isn't a
bad choice, he just doesn't fit the criteria.
No way Guiliani, for better
or worse, affected the news more than bin Laden.
Close
your eyes . . . Trust me
by John Machado as seen on
onlinejournal.com
Excerpt:
The very thought that staunch, upstanding,
flag-waving Americans could
use other Americans in a diabolical and
life-threatening plot to gain power
advantages, belittle their political opponents
and, perhaps, even make a
buck is, well, it's downright . . . thinkable.
But, that's all it is. Thinkable. "Guessable."
The very papers that would expose
. . . or debunk . . . any such notion are
sealed. And, that deed was done by the
gentleman whose service record is a file
in hiding. That's the file everyone is
quite certain shows that he was . . . and
is . . . AWOL from service in the
Texas Air National Guard.
Have
you been to the BartCop Store lately?
There's lots of worthless, over-priced stuff over there.
...and it's Koreshmas!
Do you have a ditto-monkey uncle without a computer?
Or a fascist, Rush-loving cousin who's not online?
Or maybe your ex-husband lives in Texas and worships the Smirk?
Can't think of the perfect gift for them?
Get them a bartcop.com sweat shirt, let them
wear it a few weeks,
then invite them to check out bartcop.com
and watch them turn purple!
The more you buy from bartcop.com the easier
it will be to get into Heaven.
* Thanks to the Catholic Church for
this special offer.
This is funny as hell
http://www.harpers.org/weekly-review
If you read three sentences, I guarantee you'll read the whole
thing.
I'm going to check them out every week.
Let's fight back!
Need
a Handjob?
Excerpt:
"I say let's not simply investigate the
connections between Enron and the
Bush Administration, let's investigate
the shit out of Bush, Enron et al.
Let's find the liberal equivalent of Kenneth
Star and give him unlimited
funds and endless subpoena power. Paul
Begala comes to mind."
TESTIMONY OF BARBARA HARTWELL
Excerpt:
I no longer feel safe here ( at the moment
anyway) because I have no back up at all, no money and
considering the circumstances of these
bastards persecuting me and others who are just trying to get
the truth out or who try to help others
who are being persecuted.
I plan to go to Colorado for a little while,
at least I would have some back up there, such as Weasel,
and I have one trustworthy family member
(NOT CIA) and would be able to make contact with people
re my investigation. I dare not fly...they'd
probably take the plane down just to get me...and I hate the
Denver airport.... I can't travel without
a bodyguard..... maybe Weasel will be able to come get me,
if the goons don't do more damage to his
vehicle. What a nightmare.....
Be sure to check 
today.
Michael Dare is always a great read, and we hear from Lo Phat
Ham!
Plus, Sinatra news, Niles Crane news, Ali news, and what's this
about
Michael Moore going easy on Weak & Stupid just to
sell more books?
Please, Michael, haven't you done enough already?
And there's more...
The official BartCop Astrologer, Geneva, takes a look at
the charts of George Harrison.
...and Moose & Squirrel gives you what you what you
what you need!
Quotes
"We should be down on our knees thanking
God right now
that it's "natural" for men to
fight, shoot and kill."
-- Ann Coulter, who's down on her knees a
lot.
You know, Ann, it's also natural for a man to enjoy oral sex.
I've even heard of plastic clowns who enjoy it.
But since January of 1988, you've said it was the worst thing
a man could ever do.
If only Clinton had been a killer...
Boondocks
Cartoon Censored
Is Freedom of the Press a thing of the past?
Excerpt:
The missiles and bombs raining down upon Afghanistan
have claimed another victim, this one within the borders
of the USA. His name
is Huey Freeman and he is the surly son of Aaron McGruder who conceives
and inks the ever-popular Boondocks comic
strip.
The strip's hard hitting social critique of race
and racial discrimination in the U.S. has earned it a faithful following
-
particularly among African Americans - in the
many newspapers throughout the country that carry it daily. That is
to say, the strip appeared daily until it was
pulled from many papers this week, allegedly for "patriotic" reasons.
This is the toon that started the censorship:
...and so it starts.
First, they use economic pressure to squeeze out dissidents.
Soon, they could make it illegal to ridicule the unelected President
Weak & Stupid.
With Ashcroft in charge, who can say that's not going to happen?
We lost the right to vote, we could lose the right to assemble, we could
lose the right to speech.
Someday you'll turn on your computer and there will be no more bartcop.com
It's all part of the Bush Family Evil Empire's plan.
Reminder: They didn't steal that election so they could do what was best for America.
Click
Here to see a really good page by a guy who feels
the same way about the whores of the press that we do.
From: (withheld)
Subject: Conspiracy Theory
BC,
I'm starting to wonder, and maybe RB Ham or Al
Martin might be sources,
this whole John Walker, American Taliban, is
starting to sound too pat.
There's a Salon.com article today, and their references
to Newsweek and the McLaughlin report
detailing the link being made between John Walker
and the US California hot tub, liberal culture.
And then you've got that piece of New Tradtionalist
shit (a scary piece of shit, but still shit)
written by Paul Weyrich that details agitprop
against liberals.
Maybe I just need a stiff drink and a nap and when I wake up the whole world will be back to normal.
Eric
Eric,
As long as the Bush Family Evil Empire controls the military,
the CIA , the treasury,
the press and the Supreme Court, there is nothing, ...repeat NOTHING
they cannot do.
We in trouble, and it's the gelding Democrats who are letting it happen..
Quotes
"The Lord is getting ready to shake this
nation.
We have not yet seen his judgment
in America.
This thing that happened in New
York was child's play
compared to what's going to happen."
-- Pat Robertson, (R-Insane) in October on his whore
network
Gee, Pat, if I send you a whole lot of money,
can you use your divine influence with God to save us all?
A crack whore has more dignity than you, Robertson.
If there was a God, he'd stick your greedy ass in hell.
From: Kencarman1@aol.com
Subject: WHY?
Why doesn't Bush ask Congress for a declaration of war?...against who, what nation?
Can one declare war on a person? The reason
is the worm wants to KEEP options open
so he can shift priorities, like a con-man
carny shifting a ball under a cup, to suit his power
grabbing needs: so they can stay in power,
not only seven more years, but beyond.
They changed the rules once, because of
Roosevelt, they will certainly change them again,
so Boy-King can pack the court and have
the dictatorship he lusts for. He's already part
way there and the whipped puppy liberals
simply roll over begging for more.
The reason that was brought up is this:
Elenore Cliff said on McLaughlin that legally, nobody can be
charged
with treason unless a war is formally declared by congress.
Now, "legally" has never stopped this gang of thugs in Washington.
They're going to do what they're going to do and the Supreme
Court will rule it legal.
Reminder
If you don't read bartcop.com every day - the Evil Doers win.
On
Flying High And Lowered Expectations
by Arianna Huffington
Excerpt:
The 30-second spot, part of a $20 million
media blitz, features excerpts from a rousing speech
the president gave in the aftermath of
the Sept. 11 attacks, intercut with shots of travel industry
employees speaking the impassioned words
along with him.
"Greatness is found," the president, a waiter
and a rental car agent inform us, "when American
character and American courage can overcome
American challenges." Challenges like enduring
the endless lines at Disney World's Space
Mountain ride, I suppose.
A
Letter From the Front
A Recon Marine in Afghanistan Speaks
Excerpt:
The one truth the Taliban cannot escape
is that, believe it or not, they are human beings, which means they have
to
eat food and drink water. That requires
couriers and that's where an old bounty hunter like me comes in handy.
I track the couriers, locate the
tunnel entrances and storage facilities, type the info into the handheld,
shoot the
coordinates up to the satellite link that
tells the air commanders where to drop the hardware, we bash some heads
for a while, then I track and record the
new movement. It's all about intelligence.
If you've been reading bartcop.com very long,
you know that I think
The
Godfather movies are among the best damn movies
ever made.
You gals out there - if your husband/boyfriend is a Godfather
fan, he'd love getting this for Christmas.
On the other hand, if you & he didn't think The Godfather
I and II were all that good, you probably
wouldn't want to spend the money. Maybe a Jim Carrey moviewould
be a better choice.
From: jcolwel2@ford.com
Subject: Imus Admits Whoredom
Imus was talking about Geraldo Rivera this morning.
He made a little comment that I thought was very
telling. He said,
"Doesn't Geraldo know that every time you
talk about how wonderful Clinton is, your ratings suffer?"
Imus speaks in hyperbole, so when he utters the
phrase, "talks about how wonderful Clinton is,"
he really just means "treat Clinton fairly" or
"point out the facts in Clinton's favor as well as those that aren't."
Imus' admission was a little thing; a slip of
the tongue, but to me it was the same as if he had said,
"Market research indicates that commentators
experience a ratings increase commensurate with
their attacks on Clinton, and that's why
we attack him."
He could save even more words by simply declaring,
"I, Don Imus, am a whore."
Imus has hated Clinton for nine years.
No wonder the Washington ignoratti loves his no-talent ass so
much.
Horseshit from Newsmax
Excerpt:
This is one of those stories that's guaranteed
to be pure horseshit.
This sounds exactly like stripping AF One
and trashing the White House.
Hillary told the military mothers to go
to hell?
Arnold is getting $30 million to do Terminator III?
I smell a rat.
Arnie hasn't been in a movie that made money for a decade, and he gets
$30 million.
Julia Roberts is always guaranteed money in the bank
and she's "stuck" at $20 million.
Arnie getting 50 percent more than an actual money-making star in Hollywood gets?
Sure, this is America, and they can throw away money any way they want,
but I can hear
the screams now as this $175
million nightmare drags down two studios.
...and that's just the projected budget - wait until the film comes in at $220 million.
If T-3 stinks like the last 5 Arnold movies, who will they blame?
Bill or Hillary?
Click on to
get all your Entertainment news
ha ha, I'm getting away with it..
Unka Dick was right - they all fell in line,
...especially the press.
I
wonder why Smirk & Cheney didn't follow the advice offered
by
the GOPers who signed this letter to then-President Clinton?
Excerpt:
We urge you to act decisively [against
Saddam]. If you act now to end the threat of weapons of mass destruction
against the U.S. or its allies, you will
be acting in the most fundamental national security interests of the country.
If we accept a course of weakness and drift,
we put our interests and our future at risk.
Sincerely,
Elliott Abrams
Richard L. Armitage
William J. Bennett
William Kristol
Richard Perle
Vin Weber
Donald Rumsfeld
Smirk & Dick & Rumsfeld had nine months to take action
against Saddam,
but they were too busy fabricating stories about trashing the
White House
and stripping Air Force One and getting tax breaks for the super-rich.
From: Joe B in Cleveland
Subject: Another day of bullshit
Morning Bart
The radio stations in Toledo and probably everywhere
else are owned by Clear Channel and Cumulus.
One is Fox Whore the other is out of Texas.
Fuck, the only thing they don`t own is you and
a handful of others.
I dream of election`s in 2002 that maybe things
will change.
Well, I can hope Bart.
I`m planning on swinging with you till the bitter
end.
Fuck it, I`m not giving up.
Adios
joeb
Joe, let's hope the end isn't so bitter.
It's possible the Democrats may one day get the balls to stand up to
the Bush monsters.
It's possible we might get to vote in federal elections again.
It's possible we might one day get back the Bill of Rights.
Till then - I recommend fine tequila and Glocks.
Happy Birthday to...
........
Donna Mills is
59
Teri Garr is 52
Once
lost, these freedoms will be impossible to restore
The terror threat is being used to attack civil rights in Britian
and in the US
Excerpt:
In some respects, admittedly, Ashcroft
goes further than Blunkett.
He refused to let the FBI check its
records to see whether any of his 1,200 arrestees
had bought guns before September 11.
That would have meant defying the gun lobby,
for which the private sanctity of this
database is a cardinal adjunct to the right to bear arms.
There are some rights that even the terrorist
threat cannot be allowed to override.
I'm watching everything
you do...
If you're in the wrong
religion, we might consider you a threat.
BartCop, ...BartCop, ...
Come to Las Vegas, ...BartCop
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
.Support
Bartcop.com
POBox 54466....
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74155
Shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com
a nickle and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going
to pay.
Suggestions for purchases from Amazon.com
Books my good friends have written...
..........
Robert Parry
Conason - Lyons
Gene Lyons
Since I'm not too good with html trickery, you have to go to Amazon.com
(use the portal below) and search for the titles, instead of just clicking
on the link.
Other great gifts...
....................
"...and It's Deep, too."
The Godfather DVDs
Nine CDs and a book.
"The Bible of Comedy"
If you use this search box,
Thanks, and Merry Koreshmas
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
