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Fair & balanced...
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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Quotes
"I really respected the way she handled
herself the couple of times she came to ground zero.
She seemed to be sincerely moved
by what she was dealing with. Some people didn't have
as much humanity. They were trying,
but they couldn't really give themselves to other people."
-- Rudy, saying nice things about Hillary
That made Rush very angry.
Today's Highlight in History:
One year ago, on Dec. 12, 2000, a divided
U.S. Supreme Court reversed a state court decision
for recounts in Florida's contested election,
transforming George W. Bush into the president-elect.
(The high court agreed, 7-to-2, to reverse
the Florida court's order of a state recount and voted
5-to-4 that there was no acceptable procedure
by which a timely new recount could take place.)
Get that.
After stopping the vote, they waited a
few days and then ruled there wasn't enough time
to count the votes, when the crooked sons
of bitches could've stayed out of it and let the
voters decide who they wanted to be their
president.
Thank you for the B-1, George,
but I specifically asked for a red one.
Terrorism's
First Goal: Repression
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
After last week's sickening performance
by Attorney General John Ashcroft and his former
colleagues on the Senate Judiciary Committee,
it's tempting to paraphrase the immortal words
of Margaret Thatcher: Have the American
people gone all wobbly in the face of terrorism,
or is it just that the politicians think
they have? How any self-respecting group of American citizens,
much less a group of U.S. senators, could
sit politely and listen to an intellectual thug like Ashcroft
equate their concern for constitutional
rights to support for Osama bin Laden beggars my poor imagination.
Only Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina
showed any guts at all. .
The
White House connection:
Saudi
`agents' close Bush friends
Excerpt:
A powerful Washington, D.C., law firm with
unusually close ties to the White House
has earned hefty fees representing controversial
Saudi billionaires as well as a
Texas-based Islamic charity fingered last
week as a terrorist front.
So, the Boston herald decides to print this story?
Have they been reading bartcop.com?
Gee, how could a Saudi organization have "close ties" to the terrorists
AND the Bush Family Evil Empire's White House at the same
time?
...you know Bush got his cut before he froze those assets, too.
Quotes
"All I want for Christmas is the Constitution."
-- withheld in Spokane
BREAKING NEWS from CNN.com
Pentagon says B-1 bomber goes down in Indian Ocean; no information on crew.
We've never had a B-1 go down before, not in wartime.
Did China order a B-1 from us?
Did George get extra cash to deliver it?
Don't forget - his Daddy was ambassador to China, he still has
many friends there.
Will President Weak & Stupid apologize again?
Does the Bush CIA read bartcop.com?
After it was suggested at bartop.com
that the Bush Administration knew in advance of
terrorist attacks planned for the US, but the CIA claimed they had
no such information.
Our Tinkerbell president (who could never tell a lie)
said no one imagined such a thing happening.
Now, Hardball reports (12/12/01) that the CIA admits it
was warned of a large attack by Bin Laden.
Score it: Bartcop.com = True Bush = False
Now their claim is;
They didn't know Where or How or When.
But bartcop.com has already reported:
They knew Al Queda was involved with
flight schools and that the Russians had told them
it was planes flying into Buildings. And they were aware of unusual
Put
Option trading in United
& American Airlines days before the bombing.
Two days before the 11th Bin Laden told his
Mother that something big would happen in 2 days
and that she wouldn't be hearing from him for a while.
So questions remain:
Who is telling the truth?
Can this White House be trusted?
Why do they keep changing their story?
Why can't they just tell the truth up-front?
Why does everything have to be a big secret?
Why doesn't Bush "trust the people," like he claimed in his campaign?
When Clinton lied, it was about sex.
When Bush lies, it's about the Bill of Rights, cornering the market
on gold and oil,
and grabbing ultimate power for the Bush Family Evil Empire.
...but the press continues to look to Clinton for a story,
and the Democrats are playing along, hoping Karl Rove throws them a
bone.
From: STynefield@Z-TEL.com
Subject: Gold Star Moms and Hillary
BC,
I found this on the gold star mothers web sight
http://www.goldstarmoms.com
You were right the Newsmax article was horseshit....
"With regard to the NewsMax article concerning
our organization, the American Gold Star
Mothers, Inc., deeply regret the misunderstanding
about Senator Hillary Clinton. The two
mothers who visited Washington did
not have an appointment with the Senator and she was
not in her office on that day. We would
appreciate it if the e-mails and negative comments
about Senator Clinton would cease.
-- Georgianna
Carter-Krell, National President"
Excuse me, but there's no "misunderstanding."
Nothing accidental is happening.
The authors of those never-ending personal slurs
know they are false.
The RNC and the NRA and BIG Tobacco want Hillary
stopped - and right now.
The Bush Family Evil Empire has to have
her stopped - and right now.
Calling Mr. Scaife, calling Mr. Scaife!
One scandal, coming up.
Don't forget...
Bush was AWOL for seventeen months,
...but we're not supposed to ask about it, because of that "new
tone," thing.
...and the press has agreed to play along because...
I forget - why did they roll over for a wartime deserter?
Why did they decide America didn't need the truth about The Appointee
with no spine?
The wartime deserter running for president wasn't newsworthy?
I forget. Why not?
Maybe there's a clue at www.awolbush.com
I think courage under pressure and dedication to country
would be two important attributes for a president to have,
...but if we raise any questions about his fitness for the job - we're helping the terrorists?
"Go ahead, tequila boy.
You think you're real
funny now,
but you won't be
funny for very long..."
When was the last time the US solved a big crime?
The Lindberg
Baby
Were the real kidnappers caught? Many people say no.
The Boston
Strangler
Was DeSalvo guilty?
The Rosenbergs
Were they guilty of giving nuclear secrets to the Russians?
"The Fugitive"
Murder (Sam Shepard.in Ohio, was it?)
Recent DNA tests show blood on the window did NOT come from
the doctor who was imprisoned for the crime, meaning the real killer
probably excaped without ever having to face justice.
JFK
Don't get me started
The most famous murder in modern history and nobody has a clue.
Click Here
RFK
Don't even suggest we know who killed Bobby.
The slugs that killed him didn't come from Sirhan's gun.
Click
Here
MLK
King's family believes Ray was not the triggerman
OJ
OK, so we know he did it, but to this day, nobody can say how.
Who bumped into the air conditioner and woke Kato, and where were they
going?
Where is the knife, the bloody clothes and the bloody shoes?
The police found no blood in his shower - how'd he pull that off?
He had to have help, right?
Jon Benet
If it wasn't about a dead little girl, this would be a joke.
The killer walked in the front door Christmas day, murdered Jon Benet,
and the parents refused
to talk to detectives and the Boulder cops didn't even try Barney Fife's
moulage
to find the killer.
Wayne Williams
Thirty young black boys died, and Williams was "linked" to what, three
of them?
John Hinkley
shooting Reagan in 1981
Was Hinkley in DC to meet a member of the Bush Family Evil Empire
that day?
Before you laugh it off, Click
Here
Had Hinkley been successful, who would've benefitted the most from
Reagan's death?
The Oklahoma
City bombing
The ONLY reason they arrested "less government" Tim was because he
was so damn stupid,
he refused to put a license plate on his car.
That's how he got pulled over - no tag!
Otherwise, he might never have been found.
The Olympic
Bombing in Atlanta
Richard Jewel did it - no he didn't.
Could it be that religiously insane Eric Rudolph?
The FBI and the local cops have no clue.
The Unabomber
He was caught only because his brother fingered him.
The police were as clueless and impotent as a newborn baby.
Robert Blake's
wife
If I ever commit a big crime, I'm doing it in Los Angeles. The last
crime they solved was
"Football" Williams's attack on Reginald Denny and they would've bungled
that, too,
if it hadn't happened on TV, live in front of a hundred million witnesses.
The WTC
The Oil president claims the "secret evidence" points to bin Laden,
and we should trust him?
The Anthrax
letters
Obviously a religiously-insane soul brother to John Ashcroft, attacking
Democrats only,
so we won't be finding out who sent those letters. John's too busy
busting dying pot smokers.
The list goes on and on.
It seems that the cops can only solve crimes where the guilty falls
right in their incompetent laps.
So think about all the little crimes where a confession was conveniently
beaten out of someone, usually a black man.
Or the crimes where the evidence proved some guy did it, but the medical
examiner was either on drugs
or was being blackmailed by the Macon County Sheriff for having sex
with corpses.
It seems hardly a month goes by when we don't hear of a convict being
released because
new evidence proves he couldn't possibly have committeed the
crime for which he was doing time.
How incompetent can the police and FBI be?
Run
that by me again, Mr. Ridge
by Helen Thomas, one of the few who's not afraid
Excerpt:
Administration officials undoubtedly feel
they have done their duty in putting us on alert.
If there is another catastrophe, they can
always point to their warnings, nebulous as they are.
But it would be a big help if, as more
details turn up, they would keep us informed.
Otherwise, the only thing we will continue to fear is fear itself.
Have
you been to the BartCop Store lately?
There's lots of worthless, over-priced stuff over there.
...and it's Koreshmas!
Update
TESTIMONY
OF BARBARA HARTWELL
Excerpt:
If you've ever been connected in any way
to the shadowy realm of covert operations,
even by the proverbial 'six degrees of
separation' you'll be familiar with Denver, Colorado.
It is known among the spooks as Langley
West.
It is also home of the infamous Denver International
Airport, replete with it's multilevel
underground complex and tunnel matrix,
and let's not forget the sinister collection of
artwork depicting Satanic and occult symbols
of oppression, enslavement and death.
And unless you have ice-water running in
your veins, the creepy vibes in the airport,
that God-forsaken place, are guaranteed
to send chills of revulsion up your spine.
Thrills or chills...depending I guess,
on your perspective.
Where can you find information on...
Why Gary Busey (super-Christian
and Promise Keeper) beat up his wife.
Again.
Funny, I'm no Promise Keeper and I've never beaten
or cheated on my wife.
What I am doing wrong?
Why is Howard Stern dating Chris
Rock and Beth Ostrosky?
Halle Berry talks about what
turns her on...
Tim the Whore signs an 11-year
deal with NBC to lie about Democrats
You guys might want to read about
the
"My First Time" Britney Spears Life-Size Anatomically
Correct Action Figure
Speaking of that poor girl, Remember that Elvis costume
she
was supposed to wear on her HBO special?
Turns out she never did - because somebody stole
the outfit two days before the show.
You can bid
on the outfit on Ebay under "Bart souveniers"
Be sure to check 
today.
The American military is offering the Taliban rank-and-file a
chance to live
if they surrender their top 22 Taliban leaders so Bush can silence
them.
But these guys are holding out for their virgins in the afterlife.
I suggest we send Pamela Anderson to Afghanistan, and offer them
sex with a real life American blonde superstar, instead of some
vague promise
about a bunch of virgins after they're dead and dismembered by
B-52s.
Wouldn't that make more sense?
CONSUMER
CONSUMPTION 
by Cliff Downing
Excerpt:
The first minute cost $3.99 and is 99 cents
a minute after that. What this
amounts to is that you don't save any money.
Well, I don't know about
the readers at bartcop.com but it just
seems to me that over $1.00 per minute
is not only nothing to advertise about
but telling people watching that it is
a good deal is nothing short of lying and
fraud.
Reminder
If you don't read bartcop.com every day - the Evil Doers win.
Patriotic Pam Does Her Duty
Takes bin Laden clubbing, getting him drunk
"Turns out he's a tit man,"
Pammy told operatives for bartcop.com
"He's wet sauerkraut in my hands."
Now if the CIA can just figure out the coordinates for this cave called "holly wood."
From: jjelliso@umich.edu
Subject: TIME's person of the year
I agree with your analyisis of TIME's "person
of the year." They won't pick anyone who
might endanger their precious ad revenue.
I think your wife might be right about Giuliani,
but I have a suspicion TIME will completely cave
and pick the Smirkster as POTY.
After all, the country hasn't TOTALLY collapsed
and he has been intelligible on occasion.
Surely such wondrous achievements will garner
the favor of TIME's illustrious POTY committee.
Josh
Smirk has already been TIME's pick.
Remember last year?
The Rove Review: 'Clarity.' 'Compassion.'
Excerpt:
Rove told his audience about Bush's sense
of command on Sept. 11, after Rove
received word that the first tower of the
World Trade Center had been struck.
"The president came walking in the room,
took one look at the television set and said,
'We're at war. Get me the vice president.
Get me the director of the FBI.' "
ha ha
He did NOT!
In Bush's own words, he said he remarked, "That's
one bad pilot,"
He didn't say a goddamn thing about being at war - LIAR!
This is Horseshit!
Bush wet his pants, put his caterpiller book in a safe and secure
place,
then started crying while screaming, "Unka
Dick, what do I do?"
Bush was shaking so hard he had to TAPE his reassuring speech
to America because
Hughes & Rove knew in his condition he'd cause more panic
with a live transmission.
President Weak & Stupid was flying from state to state while
they washed his pants.
Meanwhile, Rudy was calm and acting like America's president
when it really mattered.
Jesus, why are you carnival barkers trying to sell us a five-legged
cow?
And why are the press and Democrats lined up for tickets?
Operation Enduring Handjob is working as planned.
Happy Birthday to...
....
....
Madchen Amick is 31 Bridget Hall is
24
...and Frank would've been 86
I'm watching everything
you do...
If you're in the wrong
religion, we might consider you a threat.
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
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74155
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Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com
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Suggestions for purchases from Amazon.com
Books my good friends have written...
..........
Robert Parry
Conason - Lyons
Gene Lyons
Since I'm not too good with html trickery, you have to go to Amazon.com
(use the portal below) and search for the titles, instead of just clicking
on the link.
Other great gifts...
....................
"...and It's Deep, too."
The Godfather DVDs
Nine CDs and a book.
"The Bible of Comedy"
If you use this search box,
Thanks, and Merry Koreshmas
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.