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POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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Fair & balanced...
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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Neil
Young, Matt Stone and Trey Parker behind Bush
...but "Dogma'' director Kevin Smith remains silent
In Brief:
Young - "These are our rights and we can get them back."
Gee, Neil, how optimistic of you...
It used to be "Tin soldiers and Nixon
coming."
Now it's "Don't worry, we'll get our
rights back - someday..."
Stone & Parker - "We are proud Republicans, ...it's true."
Kevin Smith - "
."
I need a drink, and not tequila.
K-Drag Restaurant Round-Up
Featuring reviews for Denny's, The Delta Cafe and Peppers.
From: LDRSPFCLSPARKY@aol.com
Subject: Let's not forget...
Since President Bush took office in January 2001:
The national debt has increased at an average
rate of $723.11 per second,
or $62.5 Million per day, or $1 Billion every
384 hours and 9 minutes.
(Based on the latest data from the Bureau of the
Public Debt,
U.S. Dept. of the Treasury. The Public
Debt to the Penny)
It is noted, however, the greatest growth in the
national debt occurred under Reagan (R)
(23.6% per year) followed by Ford (R) (14.1%
per year) and Bush (R) (13.5% per year).
LDRS, thanks for that, but that last statistic is misleading.
The reason Clinton's not on the "greatest growth" list is because he
never crashed the economy.
Reagan was once king of the "longest growth spurt" (before Clinton
kicked his ass)
because in 1981-82 the economy went down so far the only direction
is could go was up.
Think of the economy as a car going down the highway.
If you cause the car to slow to 20 MPH, it's easy to say,
"I raised our speed 200 percent" if
you can manage to get the car to 40 MPH.
What Clinton did was take a car going 45 MPH and made it go so fast,
Officer Greenspan pulled him over for a speed warning SIX TIMES in
just one year.
God sent Bill Clinton to reverse the Reagan Error,
but then Scalia sent Weak & Stupid to screw up His divine
work.
(Yeah, I misread the question - sue me)
CONSUMER CONSUMPTION: Feedback
by Cliff Downing
Arrest free? Since 1976?
That's a bit presumptive, don't you think?
How about 'no reported arrests' since 1976?
Don't forget - he owns the press.
From: (withheld)
Subject: It's Time For the Hex!
I sent you an earlier e-mail, but I realize what
a backlog you have,
so I'm not upset if you didn't get a chance to
read it.
Basically, I want to propose that we bring out
the Bartcop Hex to put a stop to John Ashcroft.
The effectiveness of the Hex has already been
conclusively demonstrated, as far as I'm concerned,
via its effect on Tiger Woods. But although
it is perfectly valid to use the Hex against annoying,
inescapable sports stars, isn't it time we used
it for something more important?
Let's Hex John Ashcroft! Heaven knows he
and Cheney need to be stopped, and since we
are NOT in the business of encouraging assassination
or violent uprising, the Hex seems like
the best possible tool. And while the Shrub
seems like the most tempting target, he'll fall apart
without his puppeteers Ashcroft and Cheney.
If nothing else, it'd seriously freak him out
- although by all accounts, he isn't the hardest person
in the world to freak out. (Hell, you could
just bring a calico cat to all of his public appearances
- which is itself a good idea.)
Thanks, and keep fighting the good fight!
Pope Buck
Buck,
I must use the BartCop Hex wisely.
When the timing is right, I will get him.
Quotes
"An imperial presidency or an imperial justice
department
conflicts with the democratic principles
of our nation,''
-- Henry Waxman (D-Fighter)
Testosterone-Charged
Bartcop Mob
Takes
Over Comedy Polling Headquarters
By Bill Brasin Bush Watch Writer
Excerpt:
In the lead by thousands of votes but
fearing a sudden surge in voting by Bush Watch and Free Republic,
an unruly mob of Bartcop supporters took
over the offices of About.Com's Comedy Division and demanded
that Daniel Kurtzman, head of the 2001
Political Dot Comedy Voting Awards be removed from his post
unless he allowed Bartcop representatives
to monitor and possibly challenge all votes favoring Bush Watch
and Free Republic coming into the office's
vote counting computers from the Comedy Division's voting booths
that have been set up on its web site.
How's that voting going?
BartCop (18642) 59%
Bush Watch (4553) 14%
Free Republic (4888) 15%
Lucianne.com (466) 1%
Media Whores Online
(2691) 8%
BushWatch & The Freepers (odd couple, eh?) have
organizedand
are coming on strong.
I wouldn't mind BushWatch or MWO winning, but we
can't let those Freepers steal this, right?
Click Here to vote for bartcop.com
If the Freepers win, it'll be like Florida all over again.
Headline in the New York Whore Times...
Skepticism
in Senate Panel Over Accord With Microsoft
Democrats and Republicans on the Senate
Judiciary Committee voiced deep skepticism
about the Bush administration's proposed
settlement of the antitrust case against Microsoft.
Oh, please!
They cave on the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, but they'll
fight hard to punish Microsoft?
BREAKING NEWS from CNN.com
On tape released by Pentagon, Osama
bin Laden says hijackers "were trained"
and says plan not revealed to them
until "just before they boarded the planes."
Already we're hearing different interpretations of what bin Laden
said on the tape.
Personally, I don't know anybody I can trust that speaks Arabic,
so we'll have to rely on the usual suspects to tell us what bin
Laden really said.
Excerpt from Biker
Trash's e-mail:
On MSNBC, Joseph Bodansky(Russian author
w knowledge of BL) was repeatedly interrupted
by the hosts when he made corrections to
the Arabic translation. One point; when the issue
concerning the individuals on the planes
was brought up, they all were aware they were going to die.
This is counter to the bullshit the media
stated that BL was contemptuous of the lives of his men,
and that they had "no idea they were on
a suicide mission". Bodansky pointed this fact out and,
of course, he was cut off. Each time Bodansky
started to counter the pre-spun garbage from
the media, he was interrupted. Why have
the man on at all?
Answer to
"Guess the Slur" question of Dec. 12
From the Quizmaster
According to Bill O'Reilly, Hillary cares so little
for her constituents, she didn't even
attend one single funeral for anyone killed in
the World Trade Center attacks.
O'Reilly expressed his revulsion at Hillary's
callousness while guest-whoring on
the Don Imus show. Imus was also very,
very appalled.
You and I both know that if Hillary had in fact
attended funerals then O'Reilly and Imus would have been
highly critical of her for attending the funerals
of people she didn't even know just so she could pretend she cares.
Despite their great concern for New Yorkers, however,
neither Imus nor O'Reilly seemed the least bit bothered
that the W. administration is cutting disaster
aid to New York by more than half of their original promise.
W. originally pledged $40 billion in aid--with
the possibility of more if needed (he said NYC would have a
'blank check' for rebuilding and aid to displaced
workers and businesses)--but are now fighting hard to keep
the aid package under $20 billion. Hillary
is fighting very hard to try to make George W. Bush keep his promise,
but we all know that can be a very difficult
task.
A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR EVERYONE WHO GUESSED THE SLUR!
Cheney 'Escapes' From Hiding for Fundraiser
Excerpt:
Vice Oil man Cheney managed to escape his
"secure, undisclosed location" for about 20 hours
last week long enough to raise half
a million dollars in Texas and Oklahoma for GOP House candidates.
Big
sale at the Bart Store
Almost out of over-priced crap? Let us help
Big long lines of traffic,
parking lots jammed with cars,
cold and rainy, windy weather,
screaming kids running thru the ailes,
big, long lines at the cash register with no sales people in
sight..
Not your idea of a good time?
Relax, ...kick back, pour yourself a shot of fine tequila, get
your credit card out
and do all your Christmas shopping the easy way - at the Bart
Store
Your Preacher or your Grandma would love a shirt like this:
Today's
Featured Products
.
.....
Are you seriously going to try to make it thru
the holidays without your official BartCop coffee mug?
Our research shows coffee addicts love the Big Hammer
Mugs.
FREE Shipping with $50 order or more.
Order by Dec 17th for Christmas Delivery.
For an extra $8, Dick Armey will brew your first
pot of java.
Regular $89.95
value, now only
That's
over 80 percent off!
Our Christmas gift to you!
Click Here ...while supplies last.
Limit 60 per customer. Void in Carolina,
Dakota
and Massabamma. Dealer keeps rebate.
Void if used in any matter other than intended
by the victim, I mean buyer. Fat Free.
Just like the one Ronnie wears at the ranch. For
ages 2-up. Genuine Italian Leather trim.
Not to be used as a chastity belt. No warranty
is implied or inferred, but it's the best
Koresh-damn sweatshirt money can buy. Neiman-Marcus
wishes
they had quality like this.
Can be used as a flotation device in case of a
water landing.
Twenty percent off with nude picture approved by
Decent Exposure Committee.
No silk worms were harmed in the making of this
shirt, but we lost three polyesters.
Must use for lawful purpose only. Stalkers
must include 15 percent gratuity.
If you voted for Weak & Stupid, we reserve
the right to attach ditto-monkey logo, instead.
Made by Hanes - you'll be getting tail like MJ
wearing one of these babies.
Bush Invokes Executive Privilege
Excerpt:
President Bush invoked executive privilege for
the first time Thursday to keep Congress
from seeing documents of prosecutors' decision-making
in cases ranging from a decades-old
Boston murder to the Clinton-era fund-raising
probe.
"I believe congressional access to these documents
would be contrary to the national interest,''
Bush wrote in a memo ordering Ashcroft
to withhold the documents from a House investigative
committee that subpoenaed them.
Don't forget to check out 
Of course, if you're like Gene Wilder,
...if food makes you sick, don't bother.
Because MicheleK only has great-tasting recipes on her
page.
Tally's Yams
(sounds kinky)
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
.Support
Bartcop.com
POBox 54466....
Tulsa,OK
74155
Shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com
a nickle and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going
to pay.
Suggestions for purchases from Amazon.com
Reminder:
You can buy music from Amazon.com, too.
I tried every store in K-Drag and everyone is sold out of the new U2
DVD
so I ordered it from Amazon.com and the next day I got e-mail saying
it was shipped.
They also sell BAD music, line N-Sinc and Britney Spears, so stock
up.
They sell music, movies, books and all kinds of stuff.
Books my good friends have written...
..........
Robert Parry
Conason - Lyons
Gene Lyons
Since I'm not too good with html trickery, you have to go to Amazon.com
(use the portal below) and search for the titles, instead of just clicking
on the link.
Other great gifts...
....................
"...and It's Deep, too."
The Godfather DVDs
Nine CDs and a book.
"The Bible of Comedy"
If you use this search box,
Thanks, and Merry Koreshmas
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.