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Fair & balanced...
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT Before we name
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Quotes
"There's nothing unusual about Eugene
Scalia.
He's as normal as I am."
-- The vulgar Pigboy, opening the third hour today
Well, sure, most lying, Nazi whores are basically similar.
Eugene is "Fat Tony's" job-getting boy, so the swastika didn't
fall far from the tree.
From: amorgan@mail.cesd.wvu.edu
Subject: Ashcroft's Defense
BC-
I happened to catch a few minutes of that hearing.
Ashcroft was asked why he wouldn't allow
the FBI to look into whether or not these suspects
had bought guns, and his response was that it
wasn't legal under existing laws. And since
he promised to abide by the laws of the nation (yeah, right),
he wasn't going to go against the guns laws that
prohibit him from looking at that list of gun sales.
Then Leahy made a comment that Ashcroft had asked
for several other waivers and got them,
so why hadn't he asked for this one? After
asking him the question three times, he never did
get an answer from Ashcroft.
I'm not educated enough in gun laws to know what laws Ashcroft was referring to.
April
April, I'm not an attorney, but I'm pretty sure Ashcroft was lying his ass off.
There's no law that says the FBI can't look at a suspect's gun-buying habits.
The problem Ashcroft has is his devotion first to the NRA, then to God,
...then the Constitution.
Everyone in America (even the Demos who confirmed him) knew he was
lying
when he swore
to uphold the Constitution. A religiously-insane man cannot serve two
masters, so Ashcroft puts
the NRA first (because they give him the most money) then God second,
...then the Constitution.
The Second Amendment is worded so poorly anybody can make it say anything
they want,
and what Ashcroft sees is "Let the terrorists
get all the guns they need - it's the price
we pay to have more guns than anybody could
ever shoot in a lifetime."
(Besides, if there was such a law, President Weak & Stupid would
just suspend it and the Democrats
would say, 'Bush is my president
and I stand behind him no matter what laws he breaks' )
Where's
Jerry Rivers?
Nowhere Near Site Of U.S. Casualties, As He Claimed
Excerpt:
(CBS) Fox News correspondent Geraldo Rivera,
who couldn't bear
being away from the action in Afghanistan,
was hundreds of miles from the site
of a friendly fire incident he reported
on, the Baltimore Sun said in a Dec. 15 report.
Rivera reported in a Dec. 6 piece that he
became emotional and choked up while
standing on the "hallowed ground" in Afghanistan
where "friendly fire took so many
of our, our men and the mujahedeen yesterday."
Rivera said he had recited the Lord's Prayer.
But, according to a report on the Baltimore
Sun's Internet site, Rivera admitted that he was
several hundred miles from the site - outside
Kandahar - where three Americans were killed
on Dec. 5 by an errant U.S. bomb.
What a hoser loser this Rivers guy is.
He's carrying a gun "in case he runs
into bin Laden," but he's hundreds of miles away.
What a phoney.
What a fraud.
What a liar.
He's right at home at 
From: (withheld)
Subject: (no subject)
Where is Brad Pitt's birthday picture!!??
You have chicks reading this site too!!!
His wife is goddamn ugly
ha ha
Kelly, sorry about that.
The BartCop Photo Collection doesn't include any pretty Hollywood boys.
The shameless liars of the right, (Hannity and Pigboy) are saying that
that John Walker Taliban dude
is "a perfect example of the failures of liberalism" because his folks
lived in Marin County, CA.
They did the same thing with Monica's dad, because his zip code was
90210,
they used his zip code as PROOF that Dr. Lewinsky was a bed-wetting
liberal.
Can they be that retarded?
They think that 100 percent of everyone in the county, by law, must
be liberal?
The amount of horseshit we
get from the Nazi right in incredible,
and there's nobody to call them on it besides some personal websites.
Where is the press?
Why can't they do their jobs?
Sidebar:
You know who's the worst?
Howie Kurtz who, every Saturday, "turns a
critical eye on the media."
He does no such fucking thing.
He gets three or four Clinton haters to dismiss
any right-wing abuses and when
the 30 minutes is over, he beams into the camera
and declares,
"We've just taken a critical look at the media,"
when he did nothing more
than fellate the whore media in his allegiance
to the profits for which they stand.
I read some more horseshit
today from Thomas Sewell, still honking that discredited horn
that "ninety percent of all reporters are
liberals," even tho it's not true - never has been.
If it was true, people could have a reasonable answer to that kiss
my ass rant from a while back.
But until someone stands up and says, "That's a lie - take it back,"
they won't.
West Wing
Tomorrow night, as the credits for West Wing are rolling,
read the fine print.
Do you know who the paid, political consultants are for that
show?
Patrick Caddell - more of a back stabber than even Judas
Maximus
Peggy Noonan - who swears Reagan was a decent man and
that dolphins rescued Elian
Dee Dee Myers - who'd committ hari kari before
she'd say one nice thing about the best president
of our lifetime (and the guy on whose coattails she rode to fame and riches)
Lawrence O'Donnell - Clinton-hating liberal who said last
week, "There's NO DIFFERENCE between
Patty Hearst and Taliban John Walker - they are EXACTLY THE SAME"
How can such a great show be co-written by such insatiable and scummy money-grubbing assholes?
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"I don't understand what's so hard to
understand..."
-- El Pigbo, 40 minutes thru hour three
...and before I could finish writing that, he said,
"At the end of the day, they're (the
GOP) still rich,
you're still unemployed, and you're
still mad about it."
Yeah, Rush. That's why we don't like President Dumbass giving
away Clinton's surplus
to the richest one percent of all Americans. What's so hard
to understand?
Like I've been saying for nine years:
The GOP's answer for poverty in America is for the poor to "Knock
it off."
Abu-Jamal Death Sentence Thrown Out
PHILADELPHIA (AP) - A federal judge on Tuesday
threw out the death sentence
imposed nearly two decades ago on Mumia Abu-Jamal,
revered by supporters worldwide
as a crusader against racial injustice but reviled
by others as an unrepentant cop-killer.
U.S. District Judge William Yohn cited problems
with the jury charge and verdict form in
the trial that ended with the former journalist
and Black Panther's first-degree murder conviction
in the death of a Philadelphia police officer.
The judge denied all of Abu-Jamal's other claims
and refused his request for a new trial.
The judge said Abu-Jamal is entitled to a new
sentencing hearing within 180 days.
I know nothing about this guy, except the overall story.
Is this good news or bad news?
(Please don't send me a ten thousand word thesis by Ed Begley or a slew
of URLs.
Tell me what you think.)
Harper's Weekly Review
This is really wild/true stuff - and a great/fast read.
Thanks to Keydeer
Dark Cloud Talk
You'll have to cut me some slack here.
When the Dark Cloud thing hit about two weeks ago, I asked people
to contact
Christian if
they had any suggestions on how to chase the dark clouds away.
Well, Christian was stuck in Tuscaloosa at the time & couldn't get to her mail,
Sidebar: To
add to the confusion, Christian is moving to Georgia next week
and will no longer have a computer so no
telling what will happen then...
So I recently got a bunch of mail from some concerned readers,
so I took
every one and put them on one page and tried to answer them "live,"
so this
might not be as slick & polished as the regular snappy BartCop
reparte'
There's also some Vegas talk involved, which I'll attempt to explain soon.
...and then there's that BartCop TV thing
Just as I was leaving for the Garbage/U2
tour, I mentioned that Part One of BartCop TV
was being broadcast that Tuesday night in Houston. So far, nobody
has written to say they say the show,
and that might be just as well.
(Funny - nobody in the greater Houston area saw the show?
Of the dozens of bartcop.com readers,
some must be in Houston...
Or did you write about it, and the e-mail got buried?)
Steve Schioli, Houston Democratic media mogul, sent me
a tape of Part One
and I was surprised that my performance wasn't as bad as I remembered
it.
Oh. don't get me wrong - at times I sounded like early Bobcat
Goldthwaith passing a kidney stone,
but there were other times where it didn't sound too bad, which
surprised me.
Also, (I can tell you now) I tried something the day we started
taping.
I read where the late, great Jackie Gleason told about a ritual
he did before each show.
Just before he went onstage, he downed seven shots of
vodka or whiskey.
Well, when I read that, I thought I'd try it, but I don't think
I finished all seven shots,
but I think Part Two was more lively than Part One
:)
Of course, it's cheating to call it "BartCop TV," because
it was just a guest spot
on a local TV show, and I think regular readers would find it
boring because we
mostly covered the same old ground, but it'd be interesting to
hear what a first-time
listener thought of the non-fawning, terrorist-enabling non-sequiters
that erupted.
But Daddy, Bart keeps making fun of me!
Quotes
“The model of thought that says we need
to go out and extend unemployment
benefits and health insurance
benefits and so forth is not, I think,
one that is commensurate with
the American spirit here.”
-- Armey, the foul-mouthed Dick
No, lame Dick.
Helping the poor bastards who lost their jobs so Weak &
Stupid
could give his billionaire buddies a tax break is not commensurate
with the principles of the American Taliban Party.
Today in History
On Dec. 18, 1865, the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, abolishing slavery, was declared in effect.
...and 136 years later, the Party of Lincoln is still all white.
The closest the GOP has to an elected black person is Uncle O.J. Watts
(-Tool)
Missile
Defense System Canceled
Navy Program Woes Cause Bush Setback
Excerpt:
The Pentagon, in a serious setback for
the Bush administration's missile defense plans,
yesterday canceled a multibillion-dollar
missile defense system being developed by the Navy,
citing "poor performance" and 50 percent
cost overruns.
This must be a false headline.
"Poor performance" and "cost overruns?"
No, no, ...Bush and the GOP have guaranteed that these tests all worked.
And after every bogus intercept missle test, the headlines all
screamed,
"Another
success for missle defense," but in some
newspapers and
on some websites they also mentioned that the tests only
"succeeded" when the homing beacon
was working and the sun was shining bright on my old Kentucky
home.
But Bush, the GOP and the relentelessly pro-Bush media scream
"Success" at every test.
...that is, ...until the project collapsed under it's own failures
and overruns.
I don't know about you, but if this holds up, it might mean $6-10
thousand dollars in my pocket
because that Bush Family Evil Empire Shield would've cost
me at least that much in taxes.
That calls for a party...
Asymmetrical
politics
After 9/11, the playing field is skewed
by Eric Alterman
Excerpt:
Bush the Younger knows quite well who brung
him to this dance. He would
never have received the Republican nomination,
nor come close enough in
Florida to receive the favor of the Supreme
Court’s intervention in the election,
without the bedrock support of the nation’s
conservative activists and corporate
funders currently making demands in the
name of 9/11
Nice article - there's a whole laundry list of crap Smirk is pulling
and the Democrats
are too afraid to speak up and stop this massive pillaging of
the American Treasury.
Happy Birthday to...
........
Katie Holmes is 23
Christine Aquilera is 21
.........
Jennifer Aniston's husband is 38
Catherine Oxenberg's husband is 33
From: bushblowsus@yahoo.com
Subject: Bush's brain
During a White House celebration of Eid al-Fitr,
he was quoted by TBO.com
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGA75WITCVC.html
as saying,
"People of every faith are welcome here in
the people's house.
People of every background are
welcome to come here to the White House,"
he told his invited guests in party dresses
and sport coats.
I love TBO's follow-up comment,
"The White House has been closed to the public since September because of security concerns."
People of every background are welcome to
come here to the White House,
but only if they gave to the Republican
Party.
Jeff
Today's
has
Michael Dare's always great column,
and go figure - guess who dumped who in Hollywood's
weirdest marriage?
Plus, how will NBC counterprogram the Super Bowl with U2 live at halftime?
Plus, Paula Poundstone is back on the comedy stage.
Can she Richard Pryor her troubles into a funny routine?
You learn all kinds of fun stuff at
Oh,
What a Tangled Web We Weave
by Bridget Gibson
Excerpt:
Wendy Gramm, wife of Senator Phil Gramm
- who, by the way, has announced that he
will not run for re-election next year
- sat on the Board of Directors and has been named
in a lawsuit with Amalgamated Bank. Ms.
Gramm was the head of the Commodity Futures
Trading Commission (CFTC) prior to sitting
on the Enron Board of Directors.
She placed on the agenda of the CFTC the
entire deregulation scheme.
Did she do this at the behest of Enron
and Kenneth Lay?
This is just one of the dirty, crooked billion dollar deals that
the Bush Family Evil Empire
had their fingers in, but the press won't touch it because it
doesn;'t involve Clinton's zipper.
It's at least a hundred times bigger than Whitewater, but
the press is ignoring it
because the Unelected Usurper's handlers don't want their
press to talk about it.
Like Don Corleone, the Bush Family Evil Empire has judges
on the payroll
all the way to the Supreme Court, but the press refuses
to talk about it.
Gramm resigned so he doesn't have to answer any questions.
Is that why the Foul-mouthed Dick is resigning, too?
Are their any Texas policitians who aren't crooked?
We don't have a free press in America.
We have bought-and-paid-for employees of Karl Rove.
CONSUMER
CONSUMPTION
Is Big Brother Watching You?
by Cliff Downing
Excerpt:
Are you upset yet? You should be because
Equifax (whom I understand has recently changed their name)
will sell a targeted list to anyone. Want
to find out who owns a gun in your area? You can purchase a list
from Equifax. Want to find out how many
car wrecks your neighbor has been involved in? Just purchase
the information from Equifax. And the list
goes on. They know everything about you all the way from who
your parents and grandparents are to who
some of your friends are. They know what types of foods you
are most likely to purchase and they know
what kind of make-up your wife uses.
Quotes
"If you quit drugs, you join the fight
against terrorism."
--pResident Weak & Stupid
But Weak, if that's true, why did you give the Taliban $43,000,000 this year?
...and by the way, ...whose money was that?
From: hookemhorns92@hotmail.com
Subject: Bush approval rating
Hmmmmmm. It would appear that 81%
of the nation respects W.
Are you slow or do you still not understand
the point I was making.
ignacious ryley
Of course that's NOT true.
What did Bush do, what steps did he take, to warrant a 90-percent
approval rating?
He was standing there when we got hit, that's his moment in the
sun.
So now our choices are letting the terrorists win or stand behind
a man who wasn't elected.
What choice does a patriot have?
And no matter how great you think Bush was on 9/11, he wasn't
even one-third the man Rudy was.
If Rudy was an "A" that day, the man some call president
was a Gentlemen's "C" at best.
VIVA LAS VEGAS newsletter
BartCop, ...BartCop...
Come to Vegas, ...BartCop...
Keeping an eye on those wild conspiracy theories...
Isn't it great when a crooked president owes you a favor?
President
Bush and the American Airlines Labor Dispute
Excerpt:
During the last election, it was American
Airlines that seemingly had the confidence in Bush,
with its employees contributing more than
$65,000
to his campaign for president--not including
the $100,000 check Carty personally
delivered to the Bush-Cheney Inaugural Committee last
January or the $5,000 he chipped
in to pay for Bush’s Florida recount expenses.
These days, American seems to be benefiting
big time from that investment. President Bush this week
announced plans to block a looming strike
by American’s flight attendants that the airline says would
have forced it to cancel most, if not all,
of its flights heading into the Fourth of July holiday.
For every nickle you give to The Unelected, you get $50 back.
...and by the way, ...whose money is that?
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Books my good friends have written...
.....
Robert Parry - This is the book that
blows the doors off
the biggest lies of the Reagan/Bush
hostage treason scam.
.....
Conason - Lyons
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Must have books.
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"The Bible of Comedy"
(just click on Richard)
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bartcop.com
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fumble, Dude.