Fair & balanced... POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT Before we name more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan,  can we get a look at what Bush is hiding in Reagan's files?
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 Quotes

 "Mullah Omar is said to be hiding in a new cave and he is prepared
   to fight to the death.  So, if you've been keeping score, this is the fourth time
   he has moved to a new location and is prepared to fight to the death."
     --David Letterman

 Have you been to  http://www.radioleft.com  lately?

 Non-Nazi radio - what a concept!

 The Carlyle Group:
 The relationship between the bin Laden family,
 George Bush Sr., and floundering defense contractors.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Mr. Briody makes it clear that the Carlyle Group is in the business of corporate buyouts
 and compares their kind of investing to the type in the movie Wall Street - ruthless and spooky.
 He also correctly points to how Bush Jr. can make budgetary decisions that his father would
 directly profit from. War is good business for the 11th largest defense contractor in the US.

From: nankerphelge@hotmail.com

Subject: Fred Barnes: Bush's Dylan

 Hey, BC -- This is world-class spin!!!
It's obvious Bush is an inarticulate moron, and that's why they (Rove, Cheney, and Poppy)
won't let him use a mike too much.  But this Barnes -- man, I'd pay this cat anything he asked
to be my poet laureate!  Or to keep my lawn green.

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Here's an interesting fact that explains a lot: President Bush has actually gotten less coverage on the network TV evening news shows since September 11 than before. That's right, 38 percent less coverage. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Secretary of State Colin Powell have taken up much of the slack. One more fact: Bush has had a higher percentage (64 percent) of positive stories on TV over the past three months than President Clinton did during the Kosovo conflict (62 percent) and President Bush the elder during the Gulf War (56 percent).

What these facts explain is how a president without a large ego works and why he is so effective (and thus popular)."
 

When the press asks Bush, on the record, how many times he's been caught
committing a felony, we'll know they're starting to ask some questions.

So far, he's had a free ride,
and bin Laden gave him what his daddy couldn't.

 A Spook Report from RB Ham

 Click  Here

 Quotes

"President Bush has pulled the United States out of the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty.
  This is the biggest thing that a president has pulled out of since ... "
      --David Letterman

 Muhammed Ali, stand up comic

  "If you have a black man, a Mexican and a Puerto Rican in a car,
    who do you think is doing the driving?      The policeman."

From: SCARTAR@aol.com

Subject: Carumba

As one who reads your page daily, I can't help but notice you obsession for Tequila.
To me, almost as bad as beeing obsesed about bashing Jesse and Clintons, such as Ruperts boys.

  All I can think of about Tequila is some Mexican putting a worm in a glass bottle with sides
so slippery that the only escape can come when the poor worm pisses enough each day to float
himself to the top of the bottle. After a few months of finally pissing enough, some bastard puts a
cork in it and a label That says TO  KEEL YA. and sells it to some guy in Oklahoma.

AAARRRGGGHHH
I'll stick to Hosspiss (beer)

Carumba!
 

Scartar, how sad for you.
Luckily, I'm not the type of guy who holds one's ignorance against them.

What I have tried to do is educate people about tequila. Hell, I owned two bars and managed
a third and I always thought Cuervo was tequila. I remember at the Hard Rock Island, a guy would
ask for a Tequila Sunrise or a shot, and I'd start to pour some Montezuma Silver and he'd say,
"No, I want the GOOD stuff, I want the Cuervo Gold," and we'd think, "Ohhh, big spender!"

Like you, most people's only brush with tequila came at their brother-in-law's batchelor party
where the fools would sit in a circle and play Quarters and chug fake tequila until they puked.
Then, the rest of their lives, they'd tell people, "Tequila is rotten, nasty shit."

By the way, tequila has no worm.

And to further educate you, it's tough to get a hangover from real tequila.
Hangovers are generally caused by the impurities in your alcohol.
That's why Cuervo makes people so sick - it's impurities mixed with tequila.

But - tequila is like religion.
As long as you don't try to pass legislation to force me to drink bad tequila,
it doesn't matter to me what you drink - just keep it away from schools and the courthouse.

Final thought - comparing my passion for fine tequila with the racist Fox whore who go after
blacks and liberals because Murdoch is paying them to is, ...inappropriate.
Nobody is paying me to say that Chinaco Anejo is the finest tasting stuff on Earth.

 Why bin Laden Will Remain Free

  Click  Here

 Poor Barry Bonds
 He gets no respect, ...no respect at all.

 First of all, he pretty much did the impossible by breaking McGwire's home run record.
 I'm not saying he's hated by most of the league, but he's certainly not well-liked.

 ...and he STILL hit 73 home runs.

 Those opposing pitchers didn't want him to have anything to hit, but he did it.
 That's a helluva feat. They say hitting a baseball is the toughest job in sports;
 witness Michael Jordan striking out so many times.

 More proof that Bonds gets no respect: Search engines reveal that Babe Ruth
 and Roger Maris and McGwire all got more inquiries this year than Bonds.
 In the year he broke the record, more boys looked up stats on the other three
 than they did on the man currently tearing up the record book - amazing.

 Like an idiot, Bonds told the fans last year during the run that he didn't want to play
 for San Francisco next year - certainly a factor in the fan's dislike of him.
 When the season was over, his agent sent out feelers to other teams to see who
 needed an extra 60-70 home runs next year - - - -  and everybody declined.

 So now, Bonds doesn't have anybody who wants him - the greatest home run hitter in
 single season history, so he sheepishly went back to San Francisco and told them maybe
 he wouldn't mind playing for them after all.  But the giants weren't really interested, either,
 so - I guess thru the arcane rules of major league baseball's monopolistic robberbarons,
 Bonds and the Giants will sit down for arbitration and hammer something out.

  Sidebar:
 Did you see the thing in USA Today showing how only 3-4 baseball teams make a profit,
 and the others are losing between one million and forty million each year?

 Hey, baseball, I can fix that for you - stop paying shortstops who bat .230 millions and millions
 of dollars every year to strike out three out of four times. Stop paying pitchers with losing records
 millions and millions of unearned dollars. And for Koresh's sake, stop paying $25 million a year
 to any player, no matter what his stats are.

 Right now, if you grab teenage boys off the streets and ask them who the home run king is,
 I'll bet half would say "McGwire," and of the other half, half of them would say,
 "McGwire is, ...no, wait, didn't some other guy hit some last year?" while about a fourth
 would say "Barry Bonds" outright.

 Barry, if you'd only kept your ego and your mouth in check,
 you'd be getting ticker-tape parades and interstate highways named after you.

 But noooooooooooooooo.

 Quotes

 "The latest report from Afghanistan by Geraldo:
   He says that Osama bin Laden is now in Pakistan.
   Which means that the most hated man in Afghanistan is now Geraldo."
        --Conan O'Brien

Conservatives quiet on Falwell remarks
The right should have repudiated post-Sept. 11 criticism of liberals
   by Jonathan Alter

 Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 He's back. Three months after the Rev. Jerry Falwell said on Pat Robertson's show "The 700 Club"
 that liberals "helped Sept. 11 happen" and that "the enemies of America give us probably what we deserve,"
 Falwell has mailed out a new fund-raising pitch for Jerry Falwell Ministries.

From: pipecover@mediaone.net

Subject: what is it, this time?

bc,

are you for real or are you a tool?
i am guilty of trying to get the TRUTH  out.
what's your excuse?
you asshole, i am trying to help.
what a redneck asshole you are!

--bill nilsen (fucking friend!)
who has the balls to tell you when you are wrong!
 

Pipe, since we're friends, and friends tell each other everything,
let me say that you're one weird duck, you know that?

On Dec 8th, you wrote a semi-weepy letter about "let's all be friends,"
and like a gullible fool, I said, "Sure, let's forget the past - welcome back."

Now you revert back to your old self and you don't even drop a clue as to why.
 
 

...are you a lawyer?

From: kirk.morgan2@verizon.net

Subject: Please reprint this from one of your old pages!

You gotta love it when you're right!  Except for the fact that we are using
the weapons instead of overstocking them, you're dead on target.  A great read...
 

From: http://bartcop.com/0156.htm

Vote Republican next year.

You heard me, vote Republican!

If we get a Republican in the White House, here's what will happen:
First, he'll raise taxes on the middle class to buy a shitload of submaries
that the Pentagon says they didn't ask for and certainly don't need.
(Submarines are built in Mississippi. That's where Senator Lott whores for campaign contributions.)

Then we can buy a shitload of F-15E's that the Pentagon doesn't want or need
(F-15Es are built in Fort Worth. That's where Senator Gramm whores for campaign contributions.)

The increased spending and inevitable cost-overruns cause a bigger deficit than expected,
which in turn triggers a small recession and inventories start to pile up.

Then, the GOP cuts taxes for the ultra-rich, scaring the hell out of Wall Street
because it signals to them that Reagan's trickle down monster has pulled the stake
out of it's chest and is showing unhealthy signs of life, causing a full-blown selling panic
on Wall Street which wipes out most of the life-savings the grey-haired Americans
have counted on for their final years as a wave of uncertainty washes over America.

With the stock market dropping faster than Dr. Laura's panties, money tightens up.
With inventories up, business gets caught in the squeeze which begins the inevitable
cycle of layoffs which slows the economy even further and creates a rising spiral of
bigger layoffs and bigger-every-month unemployment reports.

To survive, people will have no choice but to join the army and this Ditto-monkey
congress's minimum wage and food stamp program, thereby solving our personnel
problems for at least the next eight years.

You see?

It's so easy!
Problem solved!

All you have to do is vote for the fellow with the alcohol and cocaine problems.

I don't know about you, but I'm bored with this whole peace and prosperity era.
We need some good-old war and recession, so this nation can get back
some of that character we lost under that evil man, Bill Clinton.

Koresh knows if there's one thing we can all agree on,
it's that this country needs to go a different direction!

bartcop.com  won't be very funny under President Gore.
It would require too much work, wildcatting that always-elusive Gore humor,
I don't know if I could continue my ministry here at  bartcop.com

But if the Blow Monkey gets in and starts appointing people like Dan Burton, Bob Barr and Jim Pissquik
to positions of power, we'll be pumping that Saudi Sweet oil of comedy hilarity by the tankerload.

ha ha

You're going to need a credit card to read  bartcop.com  if the Cocaine Kid gets in the White House.

Remember, it's EASY!
bartcop.com  is depending on you

Vote GOP in 2000!

 Quotes

 "Notre Dame coach George O'Leary or, as we like to call him, O'Really
  - was fired after one week on the job for having false information on his resume.
   He still hasn't learned yet.
   He updated his resume and it says that he went undefeated as head coach at Notre Dame."
        --Jay Leno

Keeping an eye on the wild conspiracy theories...

 Angry Dove

  Click  Here

 ...it's man-to-man, but it's not ugly,

 Happy Birthday to...

  ...nobody of note was born on this day....

From: tkimble@publicradioeast.org

Subject: Russert found in closet with Clinton's Cock,
            "I Like To Watch" claims NBC newsman.

So, the Today show has been doing a series on the biggest blunders of 2001. They had on Russert,
PJ O'Rourke, and Dee Dee Alcoholic. So, you'd expect PJ to figure out a way to slam Clinton
because he's a conservative bastard, right?

You'd expect Dee Dee to slam Clinton because she used to work for him (and really did get a raw deal,
she got to be the first female press secretary, but the big dog removed her public duties before she ever started
because he thought a boy could handle the "boy's room" better, never mind that Helen Thomas sits up front.

(What? Dee Dee was the only press secretary for the first two years, or so.
 Whatever reasons she has for trashing Clinton at every opportunity ought not to include,
 "He never gave me a chance," because we wouldn't know her name if not for Clinton.)

Russert should at least sound like a real news man and pick out a real blunder....  but he was the only one
to immediately jump on Clinton and proclaim the Mark Rich pardon the biggest blunder that "he's feeling
repurcussions from, even now". (meanwhile, Bill sends a note to Tim, "thanks for keeping me in the news!")

What a pathetic shit.  It takes real animosiity to keep his eyes on the cock
in a year when we've suffered our largest attack *ever*.
The Rich pardon, the biggest blunder.  Jesus.

You are correct.
Russert has been obsessed with Clinton's cock for over nine years now.
I've seen him do entire shows on it, so to speak.

 Today'shas a report on what the BIG DOG is up to.
 It's funny as hell, too.

   Excerpt:
 Joan Collins declared him "so sexy ... he eats you up with his eyes. It's the best act I've ever seen."
 Carol Thatcher, (Maggie's daughter) declared: "I saw President Clinton with the tree lit up behind him,
 and I have now had my dose of Christmas magic. He is a star performer."

 Plus, news on Hillary, Katie Couric signed a big contract, Tom Sizemore dating Heise Fleiss,
 Courtney Love's insanity, Dick Clark's anger, Madonna, Steve martin, a hueueueuge concert,
 Winona Ryder, Pam & Tommy Lee attack each other in court, and lots, lots more.

 Christian Livemore, my right-hand Girl Friday, (and unpaid staff member)
  is moving from New York, (since bin Laden destroyed the building where she got most of her work)
  and is moving to beautiful and sunny Georgia.  Trouble is, she's been borrowing her roommate's
  computer all this time, so moving will leave her without one.

 Add to that her lack of employment since Sept 11 (see above)
 and she's in need of a Mac computer at a discount price.

 Anybody can help?

 Contact her at  publicist@bartcop.com

   PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
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.....
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Thanks, and Merry Koreshmas

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

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   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.