The Declaration of Independence
... from Dubya
By John Sugg
Excerpt:
"'If this were a dictatorship, this would
be a heck of a lot easier.'
Laughing at your own humor -- a malignant
hahaha considering the hundreds
of thousands of Americans who have died
battling tyranny and totalitarianism
-- you then quipped: "Just so long as
I'm dictator."
The nation should have paid attention."
Subject: Trifecta
Bartcop,
Since the premise for W’s tasteless Trifecta
joke has been shown to have
originated with comments by Al Gore, it
is only fair to give the Smirkmeister
his own Trifecta to win. In order
for Bush to have occupied the White House:
brother
Jeb and Katharine Harris had to remove tens of thousands of Democratic
voters from the rolls in Florida;
the absentee
ballots had to be cooked by a variety
of methods, including allowing Republican
operatives to selectively correct flawed
applications and differentially treating
and probably fabricating some of thousands of
overseas military absentee ballots;
and finding
five corrupt partisan members of the Supreme Court to bypass the
Florida law which requires that ballots
not countable by machine be hand counted
and examined for the intent of the voter.
Woohoo, he won the Trifecta!
Charlie
Hundreds suspected of voting twice in 2000
Excerpt:
"Sheridan said RNC records have now found that
there are 140,000 people
in 11 states who are registered to vote
in two different places. In many instances,
the voters live in a northern state and
own a vacation home in the South."
¿ 100% Mexicano?
British
Tequila
Multinationals take over Mexico's national drink
Excerpt:
Tequila is as Mexican as mariachi music.
But as the national drink of Mexico - and its
American cousin, the margarita - dances
up the list of popular drinks, a drink with roots
in pre-colonial times risks losing its
essential Mexican character.
The household names in the industry are
betting that allying with multinational liquor
companies is the way to globalize their
product.
Stuck
in Oklahoma
a hilarious true story, by someone you know
Excerpt:
So ... I'm managing, and humoring the dodgy
relatives, and avoiding the Satanist,
when one of the motel maids takes a fancy
to my Boston accent and Surf City all over tan
... she starts showing up at the door to
my trailer at very late hours, so I oblige her with
some bi-coastal finesse in the meat department
. .... THEN she tells me she's married to a
local Deputy who's a rampaging drunk who
beats her and the 3 kids regularly
.... and could she please go to Boston
with me when I leave ... and bring all three kids!
Bush
Just Another Fox in the Hen House
by Glenn Anderson
Excerpt:
A year later, when the company president
was publicly predicting their most
profitable year, but privately telling
the board of serious problems, Bush sold
his Harken shares for $848,000. Shortly
thereafter Harken reported a $23
million quarterly loss and the stock plummeted,
today trading for less than 50
cents a share. Harken’s accounting
firm at the time of the Bush sale was
Arthur Anderson, auditors for Enron and
WorldCom.
Album Review
Psychedelia
and Soul
Ex-Zep's West Coast covers
by Jim Farber
Robert Plant - Dreamland (Universal)
Excerpt:
If you want to see Robert Plant bristle,
call Led Zeppelin a heavy metal band.
He's sensitive — with good reason — to
that lingering categorization, which falsely paints
his nuanced group as sonic brutes.
On his latest album, the singer mainly covers
the West Coast '60s psychedelic folk-rock
of Tim Buckley, the Youngbloods, Moby Grape
and Love. Not content to leave it at that,
Plant infuses his interpretations with
strains of Islamic chants, Spanish ballads and, of
course, the spooky roots of American blues
that have haunted him from the start.
I don't know the name of the song, but the song Plant covers by
the group "Love,"
is the most infectious song I've heard since my Garbage
epiphany last October.
by Wizard of Whimsy
Subject: Bibles, fables & the Constitution
If the Bible, to you, is a "fairy tale", the Constitution
is also one. They both require faith.
Since they were both made up as a convenient
contrivance to acheive a predetermined end, both are mere fables.
What?
One is a framework to lessen the chances of a
crooked government,
the other is a twenty-centuries old fairy tale
designed to steal money from the gullible.
The Constitution worked perfectly, as long as
religious white GUYS were in charge.
Witness this nations ascension to the apex of
civilizied development.
It was when we began to take seriously the words
contained therein that we started to lose our direction.
We lost control of our women first. Then our
niggers.
ha ha
This would be funny as hell if you were kidding...
Then all hell broke loose to the point now that
we cannot determine right from wrong and cannot
see the way to go. It all boils down to white-guys
doing what they do best: inquiring and overcoming.
No one else can do it as well. No one.
Are you writing from Louisiana or Texas?
If you refuse to allow God to exist, then you
must
also refuse to allow the Constitution to exist,
for it is founded in God-given Rights.
What?
Hey, where do you get this "must" stuff?
What if I say you "must" wear a pork chop around
your neck?
That means you have to?
ha ha
Gimme a minute to load the camcorder.
Besides, there's a difference - I've been to DC.
I've seen the Constitution. It's real
and it exists.
It's not a theory held to by scared people.
One follows the other. You must remain consistent
in your logic.
You cannot pick-and-choose. Its a package deal.
ha ha
OK, you and the pork chop are a package deal.
You cannot pick-and-choose.
So go ahead and deny God, you thereby deny the rights you hold so dear, also.
Well, we've lost most of our rights, anyway, so
I don't have much to lose,
You, on the other hand, must wear that pork chop.
And so are condemned to enslavement by a political
structure you do not like.
It is all your own fault, as reward for your
atheism. Those who do not believe - die.
The faithless die ! It is so written.
Dude, everybody dies, but you're going with a pork chop tied to your neck.
Its all very simple, so you should be able to understand it.
Funny, I understood perfectly until I reach the
age of 7 or 8.
Since then, it no longer has made any sense.
