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Quotes
"Now that I have legal marijuana, I can
walk up to the President
of the United States and blow
smoke right in his monkey face."
-- Homer Simpson, who got a scrip for legal doobage
Media is
selecting sex abuse stories
by Jay Miller
I'm tired of stories about sexual abuse by Catholic
priests. Doesn't sexual misconduct occur in other
religions? Among Protestant clergy? Muslims?
Buddhists? Rabbis?
If the media is going to cover sexual misconduct
then it had better start being evenhanded. Every
allegation about Bill Clinton, no matter how
spurious, was publicized. Now the same sensationalist
atmosphere is building against priests, almost
all of whom are not sex abusers.
I realize child abuse is especially harmful. So
why doesn't the media report an allegation that George W.
Bush had sex with a 15-year-old girl and then
arrangements were made for her to have an abortion in Texas?
They don't have to report every time Mr. Bush
is accused of having an affair. That would take too long
and be as bad as what was done to Clinton.
But if the media keeps associating the words "pedophile"
and "priest" then considering the evidence
they may want start using the phrase "pedophile president."
There has been an organized effort to undermine
certain groups with selective coverage of sexual misconduct.
The targets reveal a conservative Protestant
Republican media bias.
The next group targeted by this defamation campaign
could be yours.
Julie's
Trial Horoscope
by Geneva Clark
Excerpt:
One of the most outstanding aspects, in
the trial chart, is transiting Mars, gaining adverse strength
by being in retrograde motion, at 1 Scorpio,
on the day of the trial. This is, by the way, the same
position of transiting Pluto, back in 1984,
during the time of Julie's divorce. A strong planet reaching
this sign and degree will indicate encountering
a major crossroads in her life. For her nemesis, Ken Starr,
transiting Mars was exactly opposing his
natal Taurus Moon, bringing him a frustrating situation since the
nature of a planet in retrograde motion
is to deny fulfilment and promise. The opposition between Mars
and his natal Moon indicates a time of
testy emotional confrontations. Since Moon rules women and the
public, in general, this shows that his
action (Mars) would not be received favorably (opposition) by the
public (Moon), and that one woman (Moon),
in particular would thwart his energy and single-minded
zeal focused towards bringing about the
downfall and impeachment of President Clinton.
Visit Geneva's higherlevelastrology.com
for more, such as Chart for Julie, Chart for Ken Starr,
Chart for Bill Clinton and a chart for that woman who
wore pumps with flowers for the Grand Jury,
that Willey woman.
Dear Editor:
The parking conditions on main street are just
deplorable. Half the meters don't work,
and then you get a ticket for an expired meter.
It's almost as bad as when George Bush
had sex with a 15-year-old and then had to pay
to get her an abortion.
Sincerely
Outraged Citizen
Quotes
"The Israelis are becoming increasingly like
the white supremacist
South Africans, viewing the Palestinians
as a lower form of life,
not hesitating to kill a great many
of them."
-- Zbigniew Brzezinski,
PBS NewsHour earlier this week
Did the Government fake the Sept 11 Pentagon attack?
I had no opinion, then I saw the close-ups of the crash site.
Maybe someone could explain?
From the width of the "crash" how could the wings cause no
damage to the walls?
There are no skid marks (see other photos on that page) so where's
the wing damage?
If the wings hit the Pentagon walls, where'd they go?
Where are both wings?
Where is the tail section?
The plane didn't skrink to fit inside that little hole, did it?
One more point - that plane had roughly the same amount of fuel
as the planes that
brought down the World Trade Centers. The wings each held thousands
of gallons of fuel,
but where is the damage to the walls those fuel-filled wings
slammed into?
If you didn't check in over the weekend, we had probably the two greatest issues ever.
Well, that's not entirely true.
First, I took Saturday off, (my Catholic work ethic) so that issue
wasn't very good.
And the Sunday issue was just so-so, but it had some good cartoons!
Friday's Crossfire Moment
BOB BARR: Torture is not something that we should fall into.
I agree
...that a civilized society should not engage in even moderate use of torture.
BEGALA: Making you even more civilized than Tucker Carlson, which is a low bar I know...
When is heroin-chic nudity acceptable?
When Kate Moss does it, ...it's bad, it's bad.
When Calista Flockhart does it, ...it's bad, it's bad.
When Lara Flynn Boyle does it, ...it's bad, it's bad.
But when Lauren Bush does it, it's good, it's good, and glamorous,
too
but the Bible-thumpers endorse it because, after all, the Bush family
is above criticism.
Is
the man some call "president" guilty
of
having sexual intercouse with a minor child?
Dear Editors:
As I was strolling through Whiteman Memorial
Park downtown today, I was appalled to see
the amount of trash that was piled up (evidently
blown by the wind)at the base of the iron fence
surrounding the statue of our Confederate
Hero, General Lee Robert Whitehood.
Like George W. Bush's rape and assault on
the 15-year-old girl
a few years ago, leading to her
tearful abortion at the hands of who knows
what Tex/Mex coathanger wielder, we need to be
more watchful for how things can
look when we are not alert to blown garbage.
Perhaps some of the city fathers could take a look at that area in the future.
Sincerely,
Madge Mutton
Does Huey read bartcop.com?
...and they're
not even putting up a fight!
Juliefest
Update
We
have more $100 tickets,
but
time is running out.
If you have paid for a ticket(s) and are not
on the list - contact us now.
We still intend to freeze the guest list on April 13, so contact
us NOW
if we owe you a ticket.
To get tickets (hurry) send e-mail to juliefest2002@yahoo.com
PayPal your $100 per ticket to bartcop@bartcop.com
or snail mail checks/MOs (do it soon) to bartcop.com
at PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155
...you'll never forget meeting Julie Hiatt Steele - slayer of Kenneth Starr.
Great MOVIE by my good friend Tom Tomorrow
Mail bag
Dear Editor,
I am writing to praise the President for his push
to decrease taxes paid by hard working Americans.
As the President did when he was a younger man,
I have impregnated my 15 year old girlfriend and
need to pay for an abortion. That tax cut will
sure help me pay for it. Because of it, I won't have to do
what he did and drive across the border for a
discount abortion in Mexico. I know my girlfriend will
appreciate having the procedure done in a sterile
enviornment with proper anesthetic and instruments.
I know it sounds silly, but I really believe that
President Bush and I have a personal connection.
He knows what I'm going through. It's as if this
tax cut is just for me, so I can pay for the abortion.
I'm sure Mr. Bush still has the memories of his
trip to Mexico, and he doesn't want me to have to go
through the same thing.
Sincerely,
Ron Smith
El Paso, TX
Editor's Note: The Bush abortion was actually performed in Twelve
Oaks Hospital in Houston,
now known as the Bayou
City Medical Center, not in Mexico - unless the writer is talking
about a second
abortion, this time with a hot little habereno named Loretta.
Y'know,
Bill Clinton has never paid for an abortion.
Bill Clinton has never even been arrested.
Bill Clinton has never driven a car while drunk.
Bill Clinton never crashed his car into the neighbor's trash cars when
Marvin Bush was in his car.
Bill Clinton never screamed "mother-effer" at Al Hunt while in a drunken
rage.
Bill Clinton never pulled a man's pants down at Yale and branded him.
Bill Clinton has never been arrested for possession of cocaine with
intent to distribute.
Bill Clinton doesn't come from a nefarious international crime family.
Bill Clinton's dad never sold weapons to terrorists.
Bill Clinton never went AWOL during wartime.
...but Clinton's a bad, bad man, if you ask a pundit on Scaife's payroll,
which is ninety percent of the prostitutes in Washington DC
Quotes
"Arafat received more than 80 percent
of a vote in an election overseen by Jimmy Carter.
Bush received under 50 percent
of the popular vote..."
-- Saleh Abdel-Rahman, 39, from a land where the fella
with the most votes wins
The
Past Through Tomorrow
by D.A. Friedrichs
The following is a fictitious report to the US Joint
Chiefs of Staff summarizing the War in Afghanistan.
click
Day Three of Bush engaging
the Middle East problem
Sharon
Defies Bush
US President seen as weak and stupid
Summary:
The
Bush boy to Sharon: Withdraw immediately!
Sharon
to the Bush boy: Shut up, errand boy
- you bother me...
Sharon knows Bush is just puffing because he didn't say, "So
help me, God,"
like he does he talks about cutting taxes, something that's precious
to his heart.
Besides, war in Israel means oil profits are up, up,
up...
and isn't that why this president was appointed?
You might check out
http://kentbye.com/index_fest.htm
I caught my first St. Louis Cardinals game of the season yesterday.
It was played at Astro's Stadium, which was formerly Enron
Field until Houston
discovered what a shameful thief the Bush boy's friend "Kennyboy"
Lay really was.
How awful to be associated with that gang of thugs.
I wonder how many stolen millions made it into the Bush coffers?
We'll never know, because the Democrats don't have the heart to
investigate
the crimes being committed daily by the Bush Family Evil Empire.
It's all theirs for the taking.
Reign
of the Macho-Minded Morons
by Barbara Hartwell
Excerpt:
Because you see, the MMMs don't like women
much, and more importantly, they don't respect them. Their
misogyny has become so rampant in the Patriot
Community that, rather than be grateful for the presence of those
women who have the courage to stand up
for liberty and defend the Constitution, their male egos instead feel
threatened by such women. Not all MMMs
are men.....some are women with low self-esteem who have
submissively accepted the roles assigned
to them by these brain-dead neanderthals. Some, on the other hand, are
wannabe-males who have simply adopted the
macho-moronic attitudes of their male counterparts. But in any
case, for all practical purposes, they
are all morons whose attitudes serve only to downgrade humanity at large.
Ray
Report: A Dull Thud
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
Of course Starr's also the same guy who
also interviewed 381 witnesses trying to turn Hillary Clinton's
lost-and-found billing records into a crime.
Records which, the report shows elsewhere, confirmed her
previous testimony down to the semi-colon.
Writing on the Washington Post website, reporter Susan
Schmidt highlighted the report's solemn
pronouncement that a witness saw Hillary carrying a box
containing what could have been a rolled-up
sheaf of billing records.
Or a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, a kilo of
cocaine smuggled into Mena airport, or the Ark of the Covenant.
You just never know.
John Ashcroft will be on Dave's Tuesday show.
Last week, MTV's The Osbourne's was the fourth
most-watched program on cable.
I saw Sean Connery at Manhattan's Scottish Tartan Day
They killed Kenny! ...for good.
No, not Ken Starr or Kennyboy Lay, South Park Kenny.
How'd I know all that? I read Marty's E! page
Sunday.
Marty just busted 100,000
hits - hell, it took me three and a half years
to do that.
There's always something good at 
Pet Grooming Tips
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to take exception to Morris Fishbein's
Pet Grooming column of April 2nd.
In it Fishbein suggests that an Irish Setter's
ears should frequently be "scrubbed clean",
much like the uterine wall of the 15 year old
girl impregnated by an unrepentent child rapist
named George W. Bush (and don't even get me started
about the xxxxx he calls daughters).
My wife and I have always allowed our Setter "Ginger"
to tend to her own ears
and have never had a problem with parasites or
canine skin disease.
Sincerely,
Barry Mannin,
Springborough
A very exciting and talented artist, Santhoshi
in Switzerlandi,
is donating some pieces of her art to be auctioned or raffled
off at Juliefest2002.
Isn't that cool?
Here are two examples:
(Pictures reduced to take up less
bandwidth/traffic whatever. Yours will be clearer/brighter)
The pictures that will be for auction and/or as raffle prizes
are different and better
than the samples you see above, and the size of the prints (signed
and
numbered,
limited editions of 250, one of the pictures limited edition
of 100) is approximately
11 and a half inches by 16 and a half inches. These prints should
be placed behind
glass, (but frames are not included) as soon as possible
to slow gas-fading over
the years and direct exposure to air and dust.
Developing...
Don't forget to check 
Quotes
"Enough is enough"
-- Governor George W. Bush
This is a "smart, engaged president" showing his "mastery" of
foreign policy?
"The violence should stop."
-- Mr. Never Elected
This is leadership?
Russell writes:
You say the B.F.E.E. told Israel not to sign anything.
Yes, it was in all the papers.
Now while I agree with you that the BFEE meddled
in the middle east during the 2000 campaign,
what you're overlooking however is the fact that
it was Arafat that turned down a deal.
I don't think "B" means that "A" can't be true.
The B.F.E.E. tried to derail the talks
that Arafat walked out on.
It is likely that the B.F.E.E. approached Arafat and made some deal with him to turn down Barak's offer.
Holy Koresh, do you own a history book?
Bush was/is running the CIA.
You don't think he can contact anyone he wants?
If they can get inside Hezzbollah, Islamic
Jihad and Hamas,
getting a secret message to Arafat is child's
play for
The Empire.
It's possible they could have done this through the Saudi's, bushdaddy's business partners.
Or, just picked up the phone in Crawford and hit "6" on the auto-dialer.
Shopping
online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com
a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you
were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2002,
bartcop.com
Shirley Manson - contact
bartcop.com
