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Quotes
``Yasser Arafat has proven his total contempt
for human life.
He is completely untrustworthy.
So we should support Israel as they
dismantle the Palestinian leadership
that foments violence and fosters hate.''
-- Tom Delay, breaking ranks with his crooked president
The
Talking Chimp
Speaking to Britain's ITV television network...
Attribution
Q: Has anything surprised you
about the pressures, having these crises
-- have
there been any surprises since you came into the Oval Office?
TC: I think the surprise was how clearly I
saw what we needed to do after 9/11.
Yeah, that would've shocked all of us - if only it was half true.
When President Monkey in a Man Suit was told we were under
terrorist attack,
his well-honed instincts told him to keep reading caterpillar
stories to those kids.
Once Condi and Unka Dick called, the young Bush boy seemed a lot smarter.
Dirty Beaches
Dear Editor:
I am shocked and horrified about the sewage runoff
problems that continue to plague our
beautiful beaches. It is unthinkable that children
and pregnant women are forbidden from
swimming in the water due to health concerns.
This would have doubly excluded George Bush's
pregnant 15 year old girlfriend from
swimming, as she was both pregnant and a
child at the time. Well, until he arranged for
her to have an illegal abortion anyway.
Then she would have only been a child.
But I digress.
I implore you to help save our beaches!
Mark Doggens,
San Diego, CA
Two
More Cents Worth
by Isaac Peterson
Six more - this time it's New York
Excerpt:
The Archdiocese of New York said on Sunday
that six priests
who have been named in allegations of sexual
misconduct
have been "asked to leave their current
assignments."
I don't get it
Bush says he's going to de-thrown Saddam, then Israel snubs the
young Bush boy,
so Saddam announces he's cutting oil exports, which has the net
effect of raising oil prices,
which makes tons of extra cash for the crooked administration's
friends, who will then
donate that extra money to the campaign warchest for 2004.
That makes Saddam a hueueueuge Bush campaign contributor.
Saddam has the same deal with the Bush Family Evil Empire that bin Laden does.
Traveling Europe
Dear Editor:
Many Americans look to Europe and admire
their "progressive" attitudes.
But I recently returned from a trip to
Europe, and what I saw and experienced
was something completely different:
corrupt politicians, uncaring bureaucracies,
and epidemics of street crime, drugs, and
sexual promicuity.
The permissive Europeans have loosened their
moral codes to such an extent that
it is perfectly legal to have sex with
15-year-olds and then force them to have abortions,
as George W. Bush did a few years ago.
Thank God we in the United States can
stand proud as shining beacons of morality
in this increasingly dangerous world.
Signed,
A Proud American
Penthouse Magazine Bankrupt
Excerpt:
"Porn works on the Web because it is free, and
more importantly, you don't
have to go into the convenience store and
face the smirking young woman at
the cash register to get it. Now, you just
turn on the computer."
It sounds like a gag, but these days I get Playboy for the articles
and the interview.
Why?
By the time the magazine shows up in my mailbox, I've already
seen the pictures.
The centerfold and the others are on the newsgroups a week or
two prior to delivery.
Why buy a cow when the milk was delivered two weeks ago?
...and don't get me started on the poses they put those women
in.
First them get them wet, then they hang them upside down.
Then they poor sand or dirt or motor oil on them and hand them
a wrench.
Hey, Playboy - I have no fantasies about having sex with a car mechanic, OK?
BTW, that lying scumbag Bill O' Reilly is this month's interview.
He tells lie after lie after lie (such as 'Fox is not biased')
and Playboy lets him get away with it.
I'm so old, I remember when the Playboy interview was the
defining interview of one's life - where
the REAL questions were asked about REAL touchy topics, but now
they've gone soft, pun intended.
I don't think I'll renew my subscription.
An
Open Letter to US President George W. Bush
Nissan Ratzlav-Katz
Excerpt:
How can you, the man who so clearly and
justifiably defined the war against the terrorists
who struck at America as a war waged against
Evil, dare ask Israel to retreat from its own
front lines in that very same battle? More
accurately, Mr. President, you are asking that the
Arabs be allowed to return the front lines
of that battle to Israeli schools, hotels, restaurants
and public buses. What you are asking the
citizens of our country to do, Mr. President,
is lie down and agree to be slaughtered.
Goodbye
Cruel World
Report Suggests Environmental Catastrophe Could Be Imminent
Are you like me?
Do you extra hate it when Rush and the young Bush boy say,
"When it comes to global warming, you
have your scientists and we have ours."
But the problem is, "our" scientists work for N.A.S.A.,
the C.D.C. and the N.O.A.A.
Their "scientists" work for Union Carbide, the Coal
Lobby, Halliburton and Enron.
Why do the Democrats let them get away with that hoseshit?
Is it because we're a party of spineless weenies?
...Unka Dick was
right.
They're not even
putting up a fight!
Quotes
"Bush and Cheney are leading us into another
half-century of cold war,
with terrorism replacing Communism
as the new hobgoblin of our age."
--George McGovern, (war hero) Questions for Mr.
Bush, thenation.com
Instead of spending billions to beef up our military, wouldn't
it be cheaper
to just post the Ten Commandments on the walls of the United
Nations?
When pigs
fly...
Crossfire
Moment
CARLSON: ...our producers here
on CROSSFIRE came across a quote from BUZZFLASH.COM,
don't think I'll be reading it soon, but you did an interview with them.
BEGALA: Absolutely.
CARLSON: And here's the quote that
you gave. I'm quoting now.
"It turns out we, Clinton, were the most ethical administration in history."
BEGALA: Absolutely. How many senior
Reagan aides went to prison? 30.
How many senior Clinton aides? 1.
The chief of staff of the Department of Agriculture.
Without a doubt, using any measurable criteria, the Reagan people
were many, many times
more currupt than the Clinton people, and we don't even know
how corrupt because Bush
pardoned them, but the lying whores will continue to claim otherwise.
Clinton had the most investigated administration in history, and
they had the fewest convictions
of any administration since the GOP soured Washington with the
religious hatred that Barry
Goldwater said should be thrown out of the party.
By the way, who was the chief of staff
of the Department of Agriculture?
(Congrats to buzzflash.com on the mention)
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"I'm never lonely because I find myself
too fascinating."
-- the vulgar Pigboy, stroking himself once again,
yesterday
Traficant fate in the hands of the jury
"I'm
not crazy.
Give me $800"
The prosecutor dismissed Mr. Traficant's defense as a combination
of "nefarious conspiracy"
and "cotton candy" paranoia intended to make the government the
defendant, not Mr. Traficant.
The two-month trial in ended as it began, with Traficant veering
into vulgarity
and drawing reprimands from Judge Lesley Wells for misrepresenting
the law
and distorting evidence. On the last day of his trail, Traficant
asked the judge
to drop the felony charges against his hair. Judge Wells
refused.
Little
Bo Creep and the Pulling of Wool
by Eileen Smith as seen on americanpolitics.com
Excerpt:
"I was assigned to take a sheep from one
pasture to another and this tour bus stops and
they all get out and this woman says:
'Oh, look at the little Scottish boy,' in this Texas accent.
Of course, I kept my mouth shut and gave
them a little Scottish boy wave."
--
the man some call president, recounting his "sheep summer" in Scotland
Is America Winning?
With the war on terrorism now six months old, it's time to review
the bidding.
How goes the war?
Let's grade four areas:
If the suicide bombers get 72 virgins,
what do the female suicide bombers get?
Lanny the stalker?
Juliefest Update
We're about to break $18,000.
That's not too shabby, but $18,000 is so not a round number.
$20,000 is a much rounder number, don't you think?
So I had an idea:
Would you like to be a sponsor of Juliefest2002?
Here's how that works - security is going to cost Julie $360.
But if YOU wanted to sponsor Julie's security detail, you would
get a nice
personal note (not an e-mail) from Julie that would probably
say something like,
"Thank you, (your name here) for seeing
to my safety on my big night."
that would be worth framing and hanging in your den or
on your desk at work.
People would constantly be saying, "How
do you know Julie Hiatt Steele?"
There are also various transportation costs
(not mine) for this event.
Would you like to be a $300
transportation sponsor?
We're going to have flowers for Julie $200
and a giant cake $80
The pro photographer is probably $200
and the videographer has expenses,
so if you'd like to sponsor some costs
for Juliefest, which will mean more money
will get to stay in her pocket, write to
us at juliefest2002@yahoo.com
We have more $100 tickets - bring a friend!
If you have paid for a ticket(s) and are not
on the list - contact us now.
We still intend to freeze the guest list on April 13, so contact
us NOW
if we owe you a ticket.
To get tickets (hurry) send e-mail to juliefest2002@yahoo.com
PayPal your $100 per ticket to bartcop@bartcop.com
or snail mail checks/MOs (do it soon) to bartcop.com
at PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155
...you'll never forget meeting Julie Hiatt Steele - slayer of Kenneth Starr.
Correction
Subject: Homer
Hello!
I loved seeing Homer's quote from the most
recent Simpson's prominently displayed on your site.
I believe he actually said "Now that
I have legal marijuana, I can walk up to the President
of the United States and blow smoke
right in his STUPID monkey face."
You have omitted the 'stupid' from his quote.
I, of course, may be mistaken having heard
what I wanted to hear but I'm pretty sure
that's what good ol' Homer said.
All the best to you and your site,
Caitlin :)
Perhaps I was subconsciously trying to be nice to President Monkeybrain.
That's one of my faults - I'm too forgiving...
Robert Ray Wimps Out
"The large field of Republicans seeking to
challenge Torricelli in N.J. shrunk when
nobody Guy Gregg and former independent
counsel Robert Ray dropped out."
I wonder if his impending "vacation" in prison was a factor?
Went to Fayetteville last weekend.
I took the tour of "historical archtecture."
Most of it was crap, but we saw Bill & Hillary's first home...
Hey, Bill - check it out.
Look how much bigger than tree is than when you lived there.
Then, the gruesome part...
...the Springdale, Arkansas Days Inn where the B.F.E.E.'s
C.I.A. posed Jimmy Hatfield's murdered body with a suicide
note.
..
"You
can check out, but you can never leave."
I don't blame the Days Inn people.
When the White House says, "We need a favor,"
you cooperate, right?
Isn't that how Clinton got tied to Bush's Mena Airport stories?
from the Wizard of Whimsy
Quotes
"When you think of intellectuals, think
Communists."
-- Rush, the Truth Molester, 4/8/02, praising the
stupidity and
ignorance that has infected
his party for the last 30 years,
Today's issue is so hueueueuge, I had to take the
entire middle section
and make it a link so it would all fit. I know it pains you deeply
to click,
but the entire middle section of today's bartcop.com
is behind this link.
Click Here
Shopping
online?
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
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Shirley Manson - contact
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